Make Me Believe
by bellasunderstudy1
Summary: A marriage that was a mistake, a broken heart and a carefully constructed lie.When Edward comes back into Bella's life can he make her believe that he never stopped loving her? Canon couples, E/B.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay so this is my first ever try at writing a story that I actually let anyone else see. So, yeah, to say I'm a bit nervous would be an understatement. I'm scared shitless but I'm putting it out there, I hope you like where this story goes. Thank you to my amazingly wonderful, supportive superbeta Stavanger1. To Teacher1209 and CaptainJezebel thanks for your encouragement. **

**Disclaimer: SM owns. Though I would seriously like to work some deal out with her to confiscate Edward, alas no such luck. **

Make me believe

Chapter 1

"Dammit Bella!" I heard the asshole yell from our bedroom, or should I say _my_ bedroom cause that's what it is now.

Whatever possessed me to marry that man I just really didn't know. Oh yeah I remember, he was incredible in bed, hot as hell and I was fucking _stupid._

_Yep, sister that about sums it up._

Shut up.

_Shutting._

Tyler and I have been married two years but God that was the absolutely dumbest thing I have ever done. Especially, after I caught him in our bed with that whore Tanya Denali.

GOD! How stupid could I be!

_Really, I mean the signs were all there before you got married. He was not exactly settling down into the married man role, but would you see that?_

I thought I told you to shut up!

_Don't be so pissy._

Okay so no I didn't listen to my inner voice that kept telling me he wasn't ready for this even though he begged me to marry him. I had to keep believing that everything would change when we got married; he just needed to get used to the whole idea, that once we were married he would see that I was enough for him. Boy was I wrong.

"Bella!" Tyler bellowed from the hallway.

"What Tyler? What do you want?" I bellowed back to him, becoming extremely frustrated with the amount of noise coming from _MY _bedroom for the amount of packing he should have been doing. Because really, the only thing he _should_ be taking were his clothes. Everything else in that room was there before he moved in.

"Bella, why do I have to look at this shit?" he called, holding up a _Western Horseman _magazine with a very familiar face smiling brightly from the cover.

"Really, Tyler? You're going to give me shit about having that magazine?" I quirked an eyebrow at him, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

I knew exactly what he was talking about and I knew exactly why he was being all pissy about it, but he had absolutely no grounds for calling me out on having a magazine that had both our names in the address line. And he sure as hell had no right making out as though he were jealous of Edward Cullen. Edward and I grew up together but I hadn't even talked to him in two years. So whatever Tyler's problem was today I really didn't know.

"GAH! Whatever Bella!" he stomped off back into the bedroom to finish whatever the hell he was doing in there.

"You almost finished? Cause I really would like for you to get the hell outta here," I asked him as he poked his head out of the room and gave me the evil eye. He didn't answer but came walking out with a large black duffle bag and a box of I-have-no-idea-what, but at least it looks like he was finally finished.

"Just leave your key on the dining room table. Please." I instructed as I turned my back to him to walk into the office. I really had no desire to see him walk out the door, even if I did think our marriage had been a mistake. It still hurt and I had no intention of letting him know just how much at this point, I had allowed him to see enough of my tears over this whole shitty situation.

Tyler and I had met my freshmen year of college. I had received a full scholarship to Oklahoma State University. Well actually I had received an academic scholarship and also an invitation to join the rodeo team which would also include a partial scholarship while I was on the team. I had been running barrels since I was six and at that point was ranked number three in the nation on the high school circuit and I loved it. I was so excited to be asked by a college to join their team, I mean I knew that it was a possibility and I knew that a few college representatives were at some of my events but still I was flying high when I actually got the offer. The academic scholarship was just icing on the cake, the rodeo team was what I really wanted.

That's what led me to meet Tyler. He was on the rodeo team as well and we met at orientation for the entire team. He was tall, had broad shoulders and had the most beautiful shy smile I thought I had ever seen. He introduced himself to me that first day, we just sort of hit it off and were pretty much inseparable from that day on. We moved in together in an off campus apartment the next year and things pretty much progressed from there. The day he asked me to marry him was the best day of my life and I was really happy, or at least I thought I was. That was when everything started changing between us, or should I say Tyler started changing. I had heard the stories about how he got around before he met me but as far as I knew up to that point he had been faithful to me. He was good to me, he loved me, right? I thought so, I just kept telling myself and everyone around me that he just had to get used to the whole idea of settling down and that as soon as we were married he would see how good we were together. That's what I kept telling myself right up to the day I walked down that damn aisle. Boy was I wrong!

I couldn't have been more wrong. He wasn't the person I thought he was. Tyler wasn't in love with me like I thought he was and my blindness to that fact did not help at all.

Which leads us to today, the day Tyler finally moved the last of his things out of our house.

Well my house, my parents had left this house to me when they retired.

Actually the whole ranch was left to me and my brother, Emmett, but this house was the smaller of the two houses on the ranch and it was the one I really loved so it was the one I settled into when I graduated and moved back home.

Tyler still had another year of school and he decided to finish it in Oklahoma, I had graduated early because my parents had decided to retire earlier than planned and were leaving the ranch to Em and I. Tyler and I had discussed it deciding that I would return home to help Em run the ranch, he would come home on weekends and everything would be fine. _Humpf!_ That's what I thought anyway.

The knock on the office door pulled me back to the present as I looked up to see Tyler standing in the doorway. His head hung low, hands stuck in his pockets.

"Bella….I…" he started.

"Don't Tyler. We've been through it all and I just really don't want to do it again, okay?" I stopped him before he could tell me again how sorry he was for what happened, or how he really didn't mean to hurt me.

I had heard it all and just didn't think that my heart could take it again.

I think if I let him tell me all this again it would just bring the visions of walking in our room and seeing _that_ woman in my bed with my husband.

I looked up at him as it happened anyway and the tears filled my eyes against all my efforts to keep them out. He stiffly nodded his head.

"I left the key on the table. The papers are there too. I signed 'em and I guess everything is done….and uh..I think I got all my stuff. Um…Bella….if there's anything you need me to ..." he stuttered as he ran the brim of his cowboy hat through his hands.

"Tyler, just…just go okay," I choked out, trying not to let my voice break.

I watched him as he turned, looked over his shoulder at me one more time and walked out of my life for good.

I woke early the next morning after a long fitful night of trying to sleep. I had finally given up any hopes of sleeping around four o'clock and decided if I wasn't sleeping I might as well head out to the barn and check on things.

I was expecting a shipment from a farm in Colorado and it wouldn't hurt to double check on the feeding schedule for the mares on foal watch. Maybe I'd even get a chance to return some phones calls before meeting with Emmet.

Emmet and I met every Monday morning but this time of year was especially important. It was mid February and the foaling season would be beginning very soon. We would need to be making decisions on the foals we would keep and those to be sold. We also had to go over the schedule of mares to be inseminated for next year's crop of foals. We had been having a run of still born foals and miscarriages with some of our more faithful brood mares and we weren't really sure what was going on. All the mares were in perfect health and up to this year they all had been perfect producers. Then for an unknown reason our best mares started losing their foals.

I threw the covers off my legs with a grunt, swung my legs off the side of the bed and tried to lift myself out of more than just my bed.

I loved this bed, it was so comfortable, the mattress was just so soft and the new comforter I had purchased was perfect. I had ran out as soon as Tyler and _that_ woman were out of my house, the day I caught them going at it like rabbits in our bed, and bought a complete new ensemble. I would not be sleeping in the bed that Tyler and I had shared for two years, the one that he had desecrated by bringing another woman into.

Okay, so those thoughts were not helping my mood at all and I had no time to deal with that today, I had way too much to do.

I took a cleansing breath of the morning air as I stepped out of my front door. I loved the smell of the ranch this early in the morning, even this time of year when it was twenty degrees outside. I couldn't get enough of that sweet smell of the animals and Earth.

I noticed that the lights were already on as I came down the long tree lined drive leading to the barn.

Huh, that was unexpected because usually when I made my early morning visits to the barn I was the only one crazy enough to be up at this ungodly hour. I parked in my usual place just outside the office, sliding on my worn leather work gloves, grabbed my coffee and headed in to see who was joining me this morning.

I was shocked when I saw who it was.

"Rose, what in the hell are you doing up at the, what is it you call it, 'the butt crack of dawn'?" I joked as I made my way down the bricked midway of our barn. My sister in law was not one to make it out of the house for any reason before the at least decent, as she termed it, hour of eight am.

"Shut the hell up, baby girl," Rose snapped, shooting me her most wicked grin. _Uh oh, she's up to something._

"Uh oh. I know that look. What have you got cooking in that evil mind of yours?" I asked, laughing and shaking my head, walking up next to her and opening the stall door next to where she stood. "Hey girl," I cooed as the mare came up to nuzzle my hand.

"Oh nothing really, why do you think I have something cooking? Can't I just come down to spend some time with my dear little sister?" Rose claimed, looking at me with the most innocent face she could muster.

"Yeah, right, whatever. There's no way you would be up and down here waiting on me to come through the door at what, 4:30 in the morning if there wasn't something on your mind." I laughed, as I walked to the backside of the stall and began mucking it out. We had a great assistant who did this every morning but it helped to clear my head, keep my thoughts straight to do some manual labor.

"Okay so you caught me. I mostly just wanted to make sure you were alright." She hesitated before continuing. "Tyler moved the last of his stuff out yesterday, right?" I could hear the concern in her voice.

"Yeah, he did," I answered without turning toward her. I needed to get the tears under control before I looked at her. I didn't want to worry her anymore and I was just done crying, it was over and that was it, the papers were signed, with all the i's dotted and the t's crossed. No going back now.

"And are you okay?" Rosalie questioned.

I took a deep breath before I turned and answered. "Yeah Rose, I'm okay. Well, I'm as okay as can be expected I think." I smiled a half-hearted smile and emptied my pick into the wheelbarrow.

"Well good, 'cause that asshole isn't worth the trouble." Rose stated and I grunted my agreement.

"Okay, so here's the deal." Oh God here it comes, I knew there was more to her early morning visit than just wanting to make sure I was okay after yesterday."I was talking with Alice last night. We decided that we were taking you out tonight, just us girls. We haven't done that in forever. And I know as soon as the foaling starts around here there's no way we'll get you away from the ranch. So you have no choice and there's no point in arguing. You're going; end of story." She crossed her arms over her chest and gave me a look so I knew there was no way out of this for me.

"Ugh Rose. There is no reason for you guys to take me out. I'm fine. Really," I whined. I know I'm twenty-six years old and I whined, so what.

"Bella, I know your 'fine', whatever. We're still taking you out to get your drink on tonight. I already talked it over with Em and he's fine with keeping Garrett tonight. He even said that he needed some 'guy time' with the baby. And Alice said that Jasper wanted to come hang with his nephew and Em anyway. So no argument, you hear me it's all settled already." And with that I knew there would be no point in trying to win, it was a losing battle. Looks like I'm going out tonight.

"What time are you picking me up?" I relented.

"Seven o'clock. But Alice is bringing by your outfit at five." Rose smiled that evil smile again.

"Aw Rose. You got to be kidding me. I'm twenty six years old already, I know how to dress myself. I have been doing just fine dressing for some time now, don't ya think?" I huffed. I was not happy about this. I hated it when Alice wanted to play dress up with me. Not that I didn't like the clothes that she brought or the way that I looked when she finished her magic, but come on I'm a grown woman already. I have been married and divorced. I've graduated with a master's degree in business management. I think I'm pretty well able to put my pants on the right way.

"Yes Bella, you are very well able to dress yourself but you know that Alice gets way more pleasure out of doing this than you have discomfort. So just play nice and let her have her fun. You know Tyler wouldn't allow it, so it's been a long time since she got to play dress up Bella." Rose reminded me of yet another reason that I hated Tyler.

He wasn't always a controlling dick but he sure turned into one over the last year of our marriage. I think that might have been when he had started cheating on me. Now that he was out of my life I could see so many things that I hadn't noticed before or I guess it would be better to say that I ignored before.

_Yeah we saw it. Don't know where you've been all this time._

Didn't I tell you to shut it yesterday?

_God your bitchy this morning._

Really my internal voice was a pain in my ass but I probably should have listened a lot sooner.

_Yeah you should have._

I shook my head and huffed a laugh, cause really isn't that a sign of mental illness to be talking to yourself this way?

"Alright fine, but I don't know if I'll be done here by five." I stated honestly because the meeting with Emmett could last for several hours and I had so many other things to deal with after that.

"Nope you'll be out of here by five. Em said he would make sure you were done, out and at home by the time Alice got to your house. So like I said, no arguments it's all been settled." With that she patted my back, turned and strode her way back toward the big house.

I shook my head cause I knew when the discussion started I didn't have a chance but I had to give it a try. This would be fun thought, right? I could go out again and have a good time with the girls. Yeah, Rose was right I needed this and it would be fun. I started preparing myself for the day ahead as I stepped out of the small side door barn that separated the main hall, into the adjoining office slipping out of my coat and gloves. I walked to the fireplace on the backside of the spacious room and began stacking small pieces of wood on the grate to start a fire.

Once seated at the large cherry wood desk I powered up the computer, logging on to my email account for the farm and began my day of trudging through what I could get done before my meeting.

"Oh My God!" Alice squealed as we pulled up in front of the bar. "This is going to be so much fun tonight." She actually was vibrating in her seat.

I love the little pixie but really, she's just too damn excited all the time. I really don't know how anybody has that much energy; I mean really, it just doesn't seem humanly possible.

"Alice really? It's not like we haven't went out at all in the last two years. Tyler didn't keep me under lock and key," I stated because I knew that part of her excitement was due to the fact that Tyler had been really overbearing with his need to have me at home with him and had kind of pushed a wedge between the three of us.

"Oh yes he did, Bella. You know very well that he didn't let you out of his sight for more than five minutes," she reprimanded as well all climbed out and Rose handed the keys of her brand new Lexus SUV to the valet.

"Boy you better make sure there's not a scratch on that puppy when it comes back to me, understand?" Rose glared at the boy who really couldn't have been more than seventeen.

"Rose really, do you have to make the boy piss his pants?" Alice trilled as she stepped onto the curb, wrapping her arm in mine.

Rose just winked at us and glared at the boy as he took the keys gingerly from her hand

"Y-Yes ma'am, I'll make sure your car is taken care of," he stammered.

"Good boy. You better." And with that she strutted to my side, taking my free arm in hers.

The lights inside the bar were dim. We made our way to an empty table that Rose spotted along the back wall near the dance floor.

"Okay, so the first round is on me," Alice stated as she made her way back toward the bar.

The music was good. There seemed to be some kind of contest being held by the bar and there were several local bands competing. Surprisingly they were all really good.

Alice finally made it back to the table with our drinks and hopped up on the stool across from me.

"Okay so there's this guy at the bar, right. And he's all 'hey sweet thang. Where've you been all my life.' I mean really , people still lame ass lines like that." She giggled.

"Yeah, apparently they do. So anyway I just ignored him and he kept trying to get me to talk to him. So finally this other guy, steps between me and him and tells him to back off cause obviously I wasn't interested." Alice looked at me pointedly. Uh oh, that really can't be good if she's already giving me that look.

"Alice, what did you do?" I asked cautiously, already getting a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Why are you immediately thinking I did anything, Bella?" she gave me her most innocent wounded look and I knew I was in trouble. I looked over to Rose hoping to get some assistance but I should have known. She just shook her head and wouldn't even look me in the eye as she laughed her ass off.

"Because Alice. I know that look and I know anytime a story starts off the way this one is that I'm most likely the benefactor of whatever cockamamie scheme you have cooking in that little pixie head of yours," I grumbled, taking a long drink from the cosmopolitan that the evil elf had brought back for me.

"Well, fine, whatever, but you'll thank me when you meet him," Alice huffed and turned around to search for something or someone in the crowd. As I saw her waving at someone I groaned internally because I really had not had enough alcohol at this point in the night to be meeting someone Alice had dragged over here from the bar.

"Hey. Seth this is Bella and Rosalie. Bella, Rosalie this is Seth." Alice handled the introductions. Seth shook Rosalie's hand, who by the way had been uncharacteristically mum since this whole escapade began, which was highly suspicious. I didn't have time to think any further about that fact as the tall dark man standing before us turned his gaze upon me. My breath caught a little as he smiled the most beautiful smile I had ever seen, well maybe not ever but in a really long time.

"Hello Bella. It's very nice to make your acquaintance," Seth drawled in his deep smooth voice, while taking my hand in his.

Seth was very tall, at least six feet four which toward over my five foot four frame. Even sitting on these high stools I had to look up into his gorgeous eyes. I had never seen eyes that color before. They were like jewels and looked brighter somehow in his tawny skin.

"Hi. It's very nice to meet you as well," I replied as I slid my hand away from the warm embrace he held it in. The look I was getting from Alice and Rosalie didn't go unnoticed by me and I glared back at both of them.

"So Seth, what brings you out tonight?" Rosalie questioned.

"Oh I play in one of the bands that's competing tonight." Seth answered politely. "I was taking a little break from warming up when I met your friend Alice here getting hit on by the absolutely lamest man on Earth," he chuckled.

Alice giggled "That's exactly what I was just telling the girls. Can you believe that somebody used a line like that? I mean really does that actually work for him?"

We all laughed as Seth continued to talk with us for a bit longer, easily carrying on conversation with Alice and Rose while he occasionally would give me a shy sweet smile. He really was a very good looking man, but I knew exactly what that little imp had in her head when she brought this man to our table and I wanted nothing of it, not tonight. God the ink wasn't even dry on my divorce papers.

"Well ladies I hate to leave but if you'll excuse me I have to be getting back to the band. I believe we go on next and they're gonna kill me if I'm not ready when we need to be on stage," Seth stated as he stood from the stool he had confiscated from a nearby table.

Seth shook hands with Alice and Rosalie before standing in front of me. "Bella, it was very nice to meet you. I hope that I'll see you around again sometime." He said this with such enthusiasm without making me uncomfortable that I couldn't help the smile from spreading across my face.

"It was really nice meeting you too, Seth. Yeah maybe I'll see you around."

And with that he took my hand, placing a small sweet kiss on my knuckles, squeezing it gently before releasing it back to me.

I watched as he made his way back in to the crowd and disappeared.

"Wow Bella, I think you're blushing." Rose smirked at me, as I turned away from watching Seth walk away.

"Oh shut up Rose." I ducked my head and took a sip from my drink. "You know what , I think I'll get the next round. I'll be right back." And I stepped down out off my stool to make my way to the bar to order up another round.

As I made my way back to our table with the drinks I noticed the band was changing on stage. A beautiful Native American woman took center stage adjusting the mic to her height. She was one of the most stunning women I had ever seen. Her raven hair hung past her waist and she was wearing a leather vest that barely held her in and jeans that had to have been painted on. _Yeah I have a feeling even if she can't carry a tune this band was winning this contest tonight,_ I snorted to myself.

"What took so long?" Alice questioned as I sat down on my stool.

"Aw, some stupid prick had tried to start something with the bartender and the bouncers asked him to take a walk. So the bartender got behind on the orders," I answered as I listened to the band tuning up.

I heard the woman begin talking, calling the attention of the crowd who immediately started whistling and screaming for the band.

I turned as the guitar started in on the first cords of Landslide.

_I took my love and I took it down_

_I climbed a mountain and I turned around_

_And I saw my reflection in the snowed covered hills_

'_Til the landslide brought me down._

"Wow," Alice breathed.

"Shit," Rose confessed.

"Yeah," Was all I could utter as we listened to this woman sing.

_Oh mirror in the sky _

_What is love?_

_Can the child within my heart rise above?_

_Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?_

_Mmmm…Mmmm_

_Well, I've been afraid of changing_

'_Cause I've built my life around you_

_But time makes you bolder _

_Children get older_

_I'm getting older too_

I sucked in a breath as the words of that song hit a place in my heart that had nothing to do with Tyler. I, knew in that moment that as much as I hurt over what had happened between my ex-husband and I that it wasn't what truly had broken my heart. I just didn't know how I would ever heal the hole was still gaping even all these years later and sitting here tonight listening to the words of that song felt like the band aid that held the pieces together was ripped away.

"You know I think I'm ready to go," Rose spoke up quickly.

"Yeah, I'm kind of tired and I'm sure Jasper's ready to head home." Alice agreed.

I just nodded my agreement and we made our way back out to await the return of Rose's SUV.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

BPOV

_Three months later._

"Emmett, what time are you picking Edward up at the airport?" Rosalie called from the kitchen.

I was just walking in the back door of the big house as I grabbed a muffin and stopped mid bite as I registered Rose's question.

"10:30. Hey baby girl. How's my favorite sister?" Emmett called from the living room where he was currently sprawled across the couch with the remote in one hand and a slobbering Garret in the other arm, who was making quick work of his teething ring. Garrett was ten months old and truly the center of Rose and Emmett's universe. Rose had always wanted to have children but they had gone through so much to finally have a baby. The hormone shots, the miscarriages, then the in-vitro process were grueling. Even though he was born a month early and spent his first two weeks in the NICU, Garrett was an amazingly healthy little boy.

"Hey big brother, I'm good," I called.

"Um…" I hesitated, not sure how to ask the question I really didn't want an answer to "Em's picking Edward up today?" I asked as I took a coffee cup from the cupboard and poured myself my fourth cup of the day.

"Yeah. Jasper had a last minute emergency at the farm that he had to take care of; one of the yearlings had run through a fence or something, so Em told them he could pick Edward up this morning. You want some eggs?" she asked as she plated four fried eggs for Emmett, I assumed.

"No, thanks….I'm good." I couldn't have eaten another bite if I wanted, my stomach had suddenly turned sour and I placed my muffin down on the counter as I took a seat at the table, sipping my coffee.

"You alright Bella, you look a little green around the gills," Rose stated as she removed toast from the toaster.

"What? Oh…yeah I'm fine." I plastered the most genuine smile I could muster at the moment on my face.

"So…um…when are mom and dad coming in again? Aren't they supposed to be flying in soon?"

"Oh, yeah actually Renee called this morning and gave Em the flight information. I don't think their coming until later next week. Something about Charlie and a fishing tournament or something, I don't know. You know how your dad is, and your mom just indulges him." Rose snickered and shook her head as she walked to the table with two plates of food.

"Em! Breakfast is done; get your hairy ass in here, and bring Garrett. He needs his bottle," she called to my hulk of a brother, who was already half way through the door before she finished her sentence.

"Hey, don't put him in the seat! Let me have my nephew." I took the beautiful boy from his arms as Garrett smacked me on the face with his beloved teething ring.

"Aw, thanks Garrett …you want Aunt Bella to have your ring?" I laughed and wiped my face as Garrett giggled his adorable baby laugh.

"So…. hey Bella, did you get the results on the blood tests on Lacy's foal?" Emmet questioned as he stuffed his mouth full of toast.

"Yeah. James called the office this morning and nothing was conclusive. He wasn't sure what exactly happened this time but the autopsy on Lacy should be back by Thursday. He said he'd call me as soon as he knew what was going on."

We had lost a mare this time, although for now we were able to save the foal but it was still touch and go. The birthing had seemed to go completely normal and we had one of the best foaling seasons up to that point. We had been hopeful that this year would not be like last year, and it hadn't until the last foaling of the year. Lacy was one of our best brood mares and had produced some of our best performance horses. Her blood lines were impeccable and it was a huge loss to the ranch to lose her, but personally it was even harder. Lacy had been my personal horse. Charlie had bought her from a farm in North Dakota for my 18th birthday. She was a two year old and had so much promise in her preliminary trials in Las Vegas. She had jumped a fence, chipped a bone in her knee cap and couldn't compete any longer but with the bloodlines she sported Charlie was quick to snap her up for our breeding program. Lacy had been a great addition and really beefed up our already impressive line and the fact that she had shown so much potential to become something more than that, her foals were in high demand.

"How's the foal doing?" Emmett continued stuffing his face as I played with Garrett and Rose made her way back into the room with Garret's bottle.

"Well he seemed to think the foal was getting stronger. They still have him on fluids 24/7 but he's taking hand feedings with a bottle now. James seemed to think that maybe if the guys are willing we might be able to bring him back to the farm by the end of next week. I was going to talk with Laurent about moving into the office, and between the two of us we should be able to keep the feeding schedule up around the clock."

Emmet nodded his agreement to this plan "Uh, yeah that sounds good. You want me to put in some time down there too?" He swallowed the almost- whole egg he had placed in his mouth.

"God Emmett, could you not talk with your mouth full, please?" Rose reprimanded.

"What!? I'm just talking to Bella. She's seen a whole lot worse than me talking with my mouth full." He winked at me and gave Rose his best dimpled smile.

I think I actually caught her blush before she retorted.

"Whatever dumbass, but I don't want our baby boy to take any manner lessons from you. And if you do that when your momma is here I'm not going to protect you from the beat down she's going to give your ass."

I hid my laughter behind the baby, who was currently sucking down the last of his bottle.

"So Bella, do you need me to put some time in with the feeding schedule when the foal comes back?" Emmet questioned again.

"Nah, I think we can handle it. I need you to put in those calls to the auction in Las Vegas. We need to know for sure that they have the right number of stalls reserved you know what happened last year when we got there and they had given three of our stalls over to the Denali's. Not going to happen this year." I gave him a pointed look and he understood that I didn't want to even be anywhere near _that_ woman this year. Emmett had promised to handle all the accommodations and reservations with the auction in Las Vegas this year. He said he would make sure that our stables were in a completely different section from the Denali Farm. Because really I could not be held responsible for my actions if I happened to run into Tanya this year, and it just made for bad business to beat the shit out of the owner of a neighboring ranch.

Tanya Denali was _that_ woman. Truly she has always been the other woman. She didn't seem to ever want a man of her own, she always wanted other women's men and she usually got what she wanted, certainly worked in her favor when she used her voodoo magic on Tyler. You know the only man I had known that it didn't work on was Edward. He just never seemed interested in her no matter how much she threw herself at him…no I couldn't think about that cause my stomach had just pulled itself out of the knot it had been in since I walked in the house and overheard Rose's question.

"Oh Em, can you find out when the Circle P wants their hay delivered? I need to let Laurent know when to have it loaded and ready to go. I think they were looking for about five hundred bales. The last time they ordered it up and they for some unknown reason 'forgot' the delivery day. It was two damn weeks before they paid for that, we're going through that again. Well, as bad as I hate to leave my handsome nephew here I need to head out to the barn and then I've got a couple hours to put to good use and several two year olds that need a good work out," I informed as I relinquished Garrett over to Rosalie.

"Come here, little man. Let's go see if we can't get you cleaned up before Uncle Edward gets into town. Huh?" Rose cooed to the bouncing baby in her arms and then looked at me with an apology in her eyes when she realized what she said.

Edward had not been home for two years except, for when Garrett was born. He had made a special trip to visit the baby while he and Rose were still in the hospital. He didn't even stay overnight, claiming that he had a convention he was obligated to attend in New York and had to fly out that night. I didn't even see him and that was the last time he had been home although he kept in pretty constant contact with Emmett and Alice. And I guess by proximity to Jasper and Rosalie as well but I hadn't seen hide nor hair of him since the Christmas before Tyler and I married.

_Tyler and I had only been engaged for a couple of weeks when he came home for the Christmas holiday. Tyler's family lived about fifty miles from the Bar S so he decided that he would spend some time with his family, then on Christmas day he would come to the ranch and stay with my family the rest of the time before returning to school after the first of the year. _

_It was Christmas night and the party that my family held every year was in full swing. Tyler and I were making the rounds throughout the house; I was trying to make sure I had introduced him to as many of the extended family as I could. There was no way he would ever remember all of them but he seemed to be making a real effort to try. I had just introduced him to my Great Aunt Nessie, she was gushing about how handsome Tyler was, when I felt a familiar tingle run up my spine and a cold chill grip my heart._

_I turned slightly away from Tyler's arm, which was wrapped securely around my waist, toward the front of the room and met his glaring emerald eyes._

_I recoiled from the angry fire I saw blazing in his eyes and the almost painful expression on his face. I turned back into Tyler and jumped into the conversation on the best way in which to pick squash from the vine. _

_I just nodded my head when Tyler questioned me with a look and mouthed, "you okay"._

_I finally excused Tyler and myself from the engrossing conversation of planting green beans with a promise to come over and help Great Aunt Nessie with her planting this year. Of course we wouldn't have to do that because she lived in the assisted living home and didn't actually have a garden any longer but I wasn't going to remind her of that fact at the present time._

_I led Tyler over to where I had last seen Emmett and Rosalie talking with our parents. Just as we were about to join the group I heard his voice._

"_Yes, actually I just completed a lecture on that very……" he stopped mid-sentence as soon as he realized we were standing just outside the circle._

_Edward. My heart screamed his name. I knew at that moment that my heart would always belong to this man. The only problem in that little fairytale was that man didn't want it but the one whose ring I wore on my finger, the one who was standing by my side, the man who I had promised to spend the rest of my life with who I had swore to that he alone held my heart. This man wanted it, he wanted the love I held, the love I so wanted to give and I made a promise to myself at that moment I would put what was left of my heart to give to that man. I couldn't grieve any longer for the only man who truly held my heart and had thrown it back in my face._

"_Bella!" my mother squealed as she embraced me in a hug I knew she meant as a distraction from the tension that seemed to envelop the air around us. _

_I returned her embrace and hazarded a glance in Edward's direction. He had that same pained look on his face and the same fire blazing in his eyes. What was his problem? _

"_Hi Edward. How are you?" I figured I would offer an olive branch since there seemed to be a tree up his ass at the moment._

"_Bella," he replied dryly but his eyes were trained on Tyler._

"_Uh….I'd like you to meet Tyler. Tyler, this is my friend Edward Cullen. Edward, this is my….uh….fiancee Tyler Crowley." _

_I watched with baited breath as Tyler and Edward shook hands and had whatever pissing match they deemed necessary, cause it seems they were hell bent on making each other as uncomfortable as possible._

"_So you're Edward, nice to meet you," Tyler replied as he released Edward's hand with an extra squeeze._

"_Like wise," was Edward's answering reply. Why was he being such a jerk? I really couldn't understand what was up with him, this is what he wanted for me after all. It's what he said when he didn't want me anymore. I shook my head to try and clear those thoughts because they were pointless really._

"_Bella, so I believe there's congratulations in order." Esme stepped forward and took my hand to inspect the ring on my hand._

"_Um…yeah…we, uh, we were engaged a couple of weeks ago," I stuttered as I could feel Edward's eyes on me. _

"_Oh, it's beautiful. Tyler, you have excellent taste," Esme complimented. "Congratulations to you both, dear."_

"_Thank you Esme." I smiled and looked at Tyler who held the strangest look on his face. "Tyler?"_

"_Huh? What? Oh, um….sorry....yes Thank you very much Mrs. Cullen. I can't wait to make Bella my wife." He wasn't looking at Esme when he said this and I followed his gaze straight into the emerald flames standing only feet from us._

"_Well yes, ahem, Bella we're very happy for you. Charlie, it looks like you'll be walking your little girl down the aisle soon enough." Carlisle, never one to miss anything, picked up on whatever it was that had passed between Edward and Tyler. He gave me a sympathetic look and helped to change the atmosphere._

_The tension in my body couldn't be as easily diverted as the conversation continued around me._

_It was after midnight and the men had gone into the office where I'm sure my dad was regaling them with some wild hunting story or the latest find he had made at the sale he attended in Kentucky last week while they sipped on their scotch. Most of my family had gone home as the party wound down. Only a few really close friends; the Cullen's, the Whitlock-Hale's and the Denali's were still mulling through the house. _

_I made my way back out of the kitchen where I had taken the last of the trash bags out to the cans on the back porch. One thing we learned early from Charlie and Renee was about hard work. Although they could afford it and most all the other families we knew had one, my parents refused to have a maid. Em and I had chores that we were responsible for around the house as well as the things we had to help keep up with at the barn. Though I didn't live at home anymore I still had the habit of putting the trash out after dinner, even when it was after a party. As I entered the living room I witnessed a scene that at that moment in time I thought would crush me under the agony of it._

I closed my eyes to that memory and shook my head at my blindness to things that were right in front of my nose even then.

"Hey Laurent, I need to talk to you about something." I called as I came around the corner of the barn and I caught sight of our barn manager.

"Hey Bella, what can I do for ya?" Laurent stopped and turned to me with a smile. He was a really nice guy, we had graduated high school together and for whatever reason he just decided not to go on to college. He began working for my dad the summer after graduation as an assistant but he was now our manager. Really the ranch wouldn't run without him, he was my right hand and he was great at what he did here.

"I was on the phone with the vet this morning and he thinks we may be able to bring Lacy's foal home by the end of next week."

"That's great Bella. So he's doing better, then?" Laurent was truly happy that the foal had survived and I could see the wheels turning already in that sharp mind. "So I guess we'll need to move into the office and work out a schedule for the feedings around the clock." It was really nice to have someone like Laurent around, he always seemed to be able to read my mind and anticipate what was needed around the ranch to make sure that things ran smoothly.

I laughed. "Yeah something like that. I don't know for sure what day the foal will be ready but James should be giving me a call later this afternoon to give me more specifics on Lacy's autopsy results and an ETA on picking up the foal."

"That sounds good. I'll let Marcus know that we need the foaling stall set up so we can just put the him in there when he comes home." Laurent's mind was already going ninety to nothin' on all that had to be prepared before we took over the care for Lacy's foal.

"And Emmett is going to be calling the Circle P on that delivery of hay they wanted for later this week. Far as I know they still need five hundred bales but he's going to be double checking that and should let us know later this afternoon. So, as soon as we know for sure if you'll have a couple of the guys get that loaded and ready to go that would be great." Laurent nodded his agreement, already heading in the direction of the hay barn.

I thanked Laurent for the help and made my way into the office to handle some of the other things that I needed to complete before heading out to the practice pen to work with a new batch of two year olds we had just brought in from the range. Really I was delaying the inevitable because I really needed to leave earlier than I really wanted to, to get ready for dinner tonight with the Cullen's. I took a deep breath as I opened the door to one of my sanctuaries. I loved this office. It held so many of my most cherished memories from childhood. The desk was the same one that my father had sat at for hours on end, making decisions just like the ones I made now. The leather chairs placed in a sitting arrangement in front of the fire had been replaced since Charlie occupied this seat but they were the same style of overstuffed comfort. Emmett and I would run in and out of the spacious office as we played hide and seek or tag before Charlie would finally have enough of our screeching and running, send us out with simply a stern look but we always heard him chuckle softly as we scurried outside.

I really wanted to be home and away from the big house before Emmett came back with Edward in tow, I just wasn't ready to face him yet and I knew all too soon I wouldn't have a choice. But I sure as hell could put it off for as long as possible.

~*~

EPOV

_God I hate flying! And I hate airports more than I hate flying_. I ran my hands through my hair and released a frustrated breath. I was standing at the baggage claim waiting for my bag to make its way down that god forsaken ramp so I could go meet Emmett and get the hell out of this airport. I had been up for thirty-six hours and I just really needed to take a hot shower and catch a few winks before I had to make an appearance at dinner tonight with my family. I had only been home once in the last two years. I came home to visit with Rose and Emmett when their baby, Garrett, was born several months ago. I made some lame excuse about having to be in New York for a lecture or some shit, really I just couldn't stand the thought of running into Bella and her husband. Ugh! I rubbed my face in my hands as I took a deep breath, trying to calm the twitching that was taking over my body at the thought of having to sit through dinner at the same table with Bella and he who shall not be named. I hated the fucker. All cocky cowboy up and shit, whatever, I just needed to get through the next few weeks and as soon as my sister's wedding was over I could go back to my little corner of the world without looking back on all the mistakes I had made.

I spotted my duffle as it slid down the ramp onto the turn table, grabbed it and hoisted it up on my shoulder. Making my way toward security I could already hear the booming voice of my best friend echoing down the terminal. And there he was, in all his hulking glory, talking up a blue streak with the security guard.

"Ed! Man! There you are! How the hell are ya?" Emmett bellowed.

I smirked as I shook my head and chuckled at his loud ass. I toed off my shoes, emptied my pockets and placed my cell phone into the little bin as my duffle made its way through the x-ray machine.

"Em, I swear I have never known anybody as loud as you." I laughed as I retrieved my belongings on the other side of the security desk.

"God man, it's so good to have you home," Emmett declared as he slapped one huge hand across my back.

"Yeah, it's good to be home. Thanks man again for picking me up, I know you have to be really busy at the ranch this time of year."

"Aw Ed, I didn't mind at all. Actually, I made some calls while I was waiting on your plane to come in and really, Bella pretty much handles all the day to day workings anyway. We've got a pretty good crop of foals this year," Emmet continued as we made our way across the parking garage to his black F-250 King Ranch edition truck, and I felt myself grimace at the mention of Bella and tried to hide my reaction from Emmett. God! How was I going to make it through the next few weeks if I couldn't even take Emmett mentioning her name? I knew Emmett was still talking but the words really weren't registering with me at that point. My brain was consumed with the knowledge that I was going to be seeing Bella tonight for the first time in two years. How the hell had I fucked everything up so royally?

"Edward!" Emmett called to me, startling me out of my musings.

"What?! Oh, sorry Em, what were you saying?" I tried to recover and hopefully he would just think it was the fatigue, maybe that's what it was. I had been up for so many hours, maybe that's why it seems that I can't get thoughts of Bella out of my head.

"I was asking if it was alright if I swung by the ranch before I took you home. I need to check in with Laurent on something and then we'll be good to go. Is that a problem?" Emmett gave me a questioning look.

"Oh, yeah, no that's not a problem at all. I'd like to peek in on Rose and the Garrett before tonight, when things won't be as quite." Now that was a true statement, I did want to see Rose and baby Garrett, but I also wanted to avoid Emmett asking me to go in the Barn with him, there by running the risk of seeing Bella.

Emmett continued to chatter on about all the things that Garrett was doing and how they thought their son had to be the very smartest infant that had ever graced the face of the Earth. I closed my eyes, leaned back into the leather seat, and tried to prepare myself for the next few weeks.

~*~

"Edward." I heard my name being called but couldn't seem to open my eyes.

"Huh?" I responded groggily

"Damn man, how long has it been since you slept?" Emmett inquired, shaking his head with a dimpled grin on his face. "Too much fun with the ladies lately?" He moved his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

"What? Uh no…" I stretched and took in my surroundings outside the truck cab "Where the hell are we? I thought we were going by your house." I was confused as to why we were pulling up the driveway of my parent's ranch house.

"Dude, we did. I couldn't get you to wake up so I left your ass in the truck and did what I had to do real quick and brought your sorry ass to your momma." Emmett chuckled.

"Man, I'm sorry. I haven't slept in about thirty six hours. We had an emergency admission at the clinic right as I was leaving at the end of my shift and I didn't get out of there for another eight hours. By that time I had to grab my shit and head to the airport," I explained.

"You didn't sleep on the plane, at all?" he asked, climbing out of the truck cab.

"Hell no, I hate flying and there's no way I can sleep while on a plane." I laughed at myself because really you would think as much as I traveled around the country holding lectures and attending conferences I would be more comfortable with flying.

I grabbed my duffle out of the back seat and shouldered it, along with my laptop case.

We walked up the steps to the big white house that I had spent the majority of my childhood in. I remembered the first day I came to the big house.

_We had just returned from Chicago and my parent's memorial service was the previous day. I hadn't spoken to anyone since we left the church. I just couldn't talk about it, if I actually said the words out loud then it would be real. My parents were dead, I knew this, but I just couldn't talk about it. _

_Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle had flown in to O'Hara as soon as my nanny had called to let them know what had happened._

_My parents had been on their way for a second honeymoon in Paris when their plane had crashed into the Pacific Ocean. There were no survivors. There hadn't even been a body to lay to rest. I was eleven._

_When my parent's will was released they had made arrangements for me to live with Esme and Carlisle. They would be allowed to adopt me and at that point I became a Cullen, but I never would leave my father's name behind. I would always be a Masen even if my last name was different now. I loved Esme and Carlisle very much but I couldn't release the one thing that tied me to my parents forever. So I became Edward Anthony Masen Cullen._

_When the black Mercedes made its way up the long tree lined drive to the big house I was overwhelmed with all the sights to see. I had been to the Circle C every summer since I was five but I had forgotten how much I loved it here, it wasn't home but it would be soon._

_Aunt Esme had told me that I would be able to pick out one of the horses to be mine. I was really excited about that; I had always wanted a horse, but living in Chicago wasn't exactly a place to own one. _

I had that same feeling of anticipation as I dragged myself up the front steps as the door burst open with a flourish and the woman who had been my mother for the majority of my life rushed out to greet me.

"Edward!" Esme cried and I could already see the tears brimming in her eyes.

"Oh honey, I'm so glad you're finally here. Darling I have missed you so much, you really should call your momma more," she admonished

"Yes ma'am. I know, I've missed you too." I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her cheek.

"Well, I know you're a busy man honey. Now come on in and let's get you settle. You look awful darling. Have you not been sleeping? Why don't you let me fix you something to eat? Emmett how are you honey? Come on in I know you'll want something to eat, won't you?" Esme barely took a breath as she turned and walked back through the front door, expecting us to follow her in. I chuckled, shaking my head. I truly understood where my sister got her endless energy. Esme was a force of nature and we knew there really was no arguing with her about the food, it was already decided, we were eating; not that Emmett would have argued anyway.

"Hey mom, I'm going to put my bags in my room, I'll be right down," I called as I made my way to the stairs.

"Alright honey. I'll just whip something up real fast and we can catch up." I watched as Esme walked toward the back of the house to the kitchen with Emmett hot on her heels. I overheard her question to Emmet, and it completely confused me.

"Emmett, is Bella bringing Seth tonight?"

_What? Who's Seth? What the hell were they talking about?_ But I couldn't hear his answer as they were already down the hall, short of outing myself and letting them know my interest in what they were talking about I wouldn't get an answer.

~*~

BPOV

God my ass was sore. The last two year old was going to be a bugger to gentle. This one was a colt that I was working with for a client and he was hell on wheels. He had great potential, unbelievable confirmation and I could tell he was cow smart but damn, he just did not want to cooperate. I had ate more dirt today than I had in the last five years combined. I was going to be feeling that last tumble for days to come and I'm sure that the bruise I had on my right thigh was not going to be pretty. I had been working on desensitizing his right flank, my reflexes were just not quick enough to get me out of the way when he decided to kick the shit out of me. I know it was because I was completely distracted with the fact that I had to go to dinner tonight with the Cullen's and I knew that Edward was home. I really don't know why I was so nervous to see him, he had made the decision to cut off all contact with me not the other way around. I had tried my best to stay friends, but obviously that wasn't on _his_ schedule of events for us.

_Us? Really?_

Shut up! You know what I mean. There is no us.

_Excuse me! Just pointing out the obvious._

Well I would thank you to keep your opinions to yourself.

I knew that there had to be something wrong with me. Do normal people without a mental illness really argue with their inner voice?

I placed my worn saddle on the rack and hung the training bridle in place, and removed my work gloves placing them in my back pocket, when my cell began ringing. I didn't even check the ID before I answered.

"Hello."

"Hey sweets! How is my beautiful girl today?"

"Hey Seth. How's LA?" I giggled into the phone and rolled my eyes.

Seth and I had been out on a couple of dates and we really had hit it off but neither one of us was wanting anything more than just somebody to hang out with. Really, we were just great friends.

"Good Lord Bella, this place is crazy! I have never seen anything like this town," he laughed into phone.

"So how's the meeting with the record company going?"

Seth's band 'The Pack' had been in talks with Arista records and was meeting with some of the executives to iron out the last parts of the contract. Seth, his sister Leah and her husband Jake, had flown out to Los Angeles a few days ago to finalize everything and sign the paperwork. I was really proud of him and the band, they were amazing musicians. Leah had a voice that was unbelievable and with Jake on lead guitar they had a really unusual sound, although most of what they were doing in their sets were covers; but they had a few original pieces as well.

Seth filled me in on everything they were talking over with Arista as I closed up the office and walked out to my truck. I waved to Laurent on my way out, climbed in and started home to get ready for dinner. Talking to Seth helped to calm my nerves in preparation for later tonight.

Climbing out of my truck when I finally made it home I groaned as I rolled out of the cab and gingerly stepped down. Yep, that had to be one hell of a bruise! My leg hurt something awful, it was only rivaled by my ass from where he had chunked me more times than I could count. I needed a long hot shower to work out the kinks in my muscles that I was suspicious weren't simply due to the fact I had been thrown off that crazy horse so many times today.

I made quick work of showering and dressing for dinner after hanging up with Seth, him promising to call as soon as they had signed their contract. We had made plans for the four of us to go out and celebrate as soon as they all got back in town. I had really become good friends with their whole band but Seth, Leah and Jake were really good people and I liked hanging out with them.

I took a deep breath as I raised my hand to knock on the front door, trying to stamp down the butterflies in my stomach that were threatening to make me sick.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Thank you to my wonderful friend and beta Stavanger1. Thank you so much for all the support and the late night chat sessions. If you guys have not read any of her stories, go, now, run and read!! She's amazing. Her one-shot for the Age of Edward contest,'The Warriors Capture', is amazing you must read now!!! Vikingward is HOT!**

**I now have a banner and rolling sig for my story thanks to Stavanger1. Anyone who is a member at , head over to the Make Me Believe thread. Thanks Jessica1971 for adding the link for the story to the banner and sig. **

**Disclaimer: SM owns everything Twilight, but I own the Swan Ranch and the Circle C.**

**We're starting off with our dear tortured Edward, I hope ya'll like this chapter! *ducks for cover***

Memories by Van Morrison

Memories  
All I have is memories  
All I have is memories  
Memories of you

Now you're gone  
They linger on, these memories  
All these precious memories  
Memories of you

How they linger in the twilight  
In the morning in the small hours  
Just before dawn

Memories  
Of summer days so long ago  
People in the places  
That we used to know  
Oh those memories

How they linger in the twilight  
And in the wee small hours  
Sometime just before the dawn

Oh those memories  
Oh happy times those memories  
All I have now is memories  
Memories of you

Oh memories  
All those precious memories  
All I have is memories

Ch. 3

EPOV

I rolled over slapping at the table by my bed, trying to reach my cell so I could make the damn alarm stop chirping at me. I stretched, rubbing my eyes with the heel of my hands trying unsuccessfully to make the incessant fatigue go away. I had finally been able to get a few hours sleep and I groaned as I rolled out of bed to get ready for dinner.

I needed to shower and shave, and _damn! _I didn't think I had anything that wasn't wrinkled all to hell and I didn't have time to iron anything now. I made my way to the bathroom, flipping the hot water on and hopping the steam would work the kinks out of my muscles. I knew there was more than fatigue that had my body in such a knot. _Bella. _

I climbed in the shower, hissing as the steaming water hit my body. I had to put thoughts of Bella out of my mind. She wasn't mine anymore; she hadn't been mine in a long time but the way my heart reacted every time her name fluttered through my mind was testament to the fact that _she _would always own _me_. There just simply was no other woman who would hold my heart and I had thrown her away, I had lied to her because I thought I knew better what was good for her.

_Good lord, Cullen! Snap out of it, you fucked up, let it go, she's another man's wife and there's not a damn thing you can do about it._

I sighed heavily as that thought brought me out of my musing, stepping out and wrapping a towel around my waist. I knew what I had to do, the only way I could protect my heart from being ripped out of my chest again and left openly bleeding on the floor when I saw her, because in a very short period of time she's going to be here in my parent's house. I had to make her think that I had moved on and that I was happy with the decisions I had made all those years ago. It just pissed me off because obviously she wasn't as heartbroken as my family had told me she was when we broke up. If she was able to move on and marry another man, how could she have loved me as much as she had claimed?

As I walked out of the bathroom I noticed something lying on my bed that was not there when I had left the room. The evil sneak that claims to be my sister had placed a completely new outfit in my room. She must have snuck in here while I was in the shower; _damn_, I thought locked that door. Obviously she still feels an affinity for dressing me, because evidently at twenty seven years old I was completely incapable of picking out a matching pair of jeans and a shirt. I rolled my eyes at her obsessive tendencies and grabbed a pair of boxer's from my duffle bag, pulling them on as I inspected the dark wash jeans and black button down. Well I guess the fact was that I _hadn't _unpacked my bags after arriving earlier in the day, so I had nothing to wear that wasn't wrinkled, and I guess as much as I hated to admit, it was a good thing Alice knew me so well and planned ahead. I chuckled at that realization and began dressing. Tucking the shirt in my jeans, I buckled my belt, slipped on my boots and headed out the door.

I heard voices wafting up the stairs as I made my way down the hall from my room and stopped dead in my tracks.

_She was here_.

When I heard her lilting laugh drift up to my ears, my heart slammed against my ribs. It had been years since I heard her laugh, and I felt a tightening in my chest and reached up to massage the area over my heart before continuing down the stairs in to the foyer. I had already made my decision to not let anyone know how much I regretted my decision all those years ago. Yes I was still in love with Bella, but she had moved on and I couldn't let her know now how much I wished I had not made the decision to let her go. She had looked as though I slapped her when I told her we were a mistake but my mind had been made up, there was no turning back and I did what I thought was best for her at the time. I had made this bed and now I was drowning under the consequences. Don't get me wrong, I had girlfriends or well I had women just none of them really meant anything to me, there was only the one woman I would ever truly love. The other women were there for release, nothing more than sex, and they knew I wasn't interested in anything more. There had been a few where if I had been a whole man could have been more, but I didn't have anything to give them so they moved on, just like she had.

I saw my family standing in the foyer with Emmett, Rose and Bella. Alice was taking Garrett from Rose's arms, giggling as he slapped her in the face with a toy hammer. Before I reached the last step my eyes had found hers, those doe eyes were wide and staring straight through me, a breath caught in my chest. _Huh? She's alone. Wonder where he who must not be named was tonight?_

"There you are, honey. Don't you look handsome tonight," Esme called to me as she glided to my side wrapping an arm around my waist, leaning in to give me a light hug. I bent to place a light kiss on her cheek.

"Yes well, it seems some clothes fairy rained down upon my room while I was taking a shower and miraculously this stuff showed up on my bed," I chuckled and winked at Alice as she giggled.

"Edward, seriously you still have the absolutely worst taste in clothes ever. I mean I know you wear scrubs most of the time but really? You need serious help my brother," she teased but I knew she was also completely serious.

"Hi Edward." My head snapped in the direction of her voice, my mouth slightly agape.

"Hello, Bella. It's been a long time, good to see you again," I greeted her, trying to keep my voice as even as I could; my body was coiling into a bundle of energy. I don't really know why I felt so angry suddenly. It felt like a black snake coiling from my abdomen up through my chest and I know that it was being reflected in my face as I saw Bella's eyes grow wide with shock and then flash as I saw her temper rise. Bella was always an open book and she wore her emotions on her sleeve; she had the temper of a tiger. At one time in our history it amused me how she would immediate get her ire up, she was so tiny it was like an angry kitten but for some reason tonight it just fueled my fire.

"Where's your husband tonight Bella?" I inquired giving her what I'm sure was a condescending smirk and nodded before turning away from her completely, walking away toward the dining room and not waiting for her response.

~*~

We had just finished dinner, and it was amazing as always. Esme was an unbelievable cook and loved spending time in the kitchen creating new unusual dishes. Tonight was no different but it was wholly southern Texas cuisine at its best. I had not found it easy to keep up my part in the lively conversation that was flying around the table in rapid fire succession. Alice was rambling on about the final wedding preparations, parties that were coming up, which we were all required to attend of course and times for tuxedo and dress fittings. I believe there was something about flowers and a problem with the wrong color hydrangea for the color of the table linens, I have no idea what they were talking about and it made my head spin. Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett were holding their own with the ladies, offering their opinion on different aspects of when and where items for the wedding were going to be picked up or delivered. I was totally outside the whole conversation until it turned to Bella and that name came up again, _Seth_.

"Hey Bella, did you ever here from Seth?" Emmett questioned as he took a huge bite of the red velvet cake Esme had prepared for desert.

"You know, I haven't. He called when I was leaving the barn earlier and said he would call as soon as…" She trailed off as her cell phone started ringing with the most ridiculous ring tone. _Hungry like the wolf? Really? What the fuck?_

Bella giggled and excused herself from the table to take the call in another room.

I know the conversation continued around the table but I couldn't concentrate on anything anyone said. All I could feel was that cold coil winding its way in my stomach and building up through my chest. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose trying to calm myself down. There was no rational reason for the feelings that were overwhelming me tonight. Although, unfortunately, I learned a long time ago that I had absolutely no rational thoughts at all concerning Bella. I snapped out of my thoughts as Bella came back into the room giggling and shaking her head as she placed her cell phone in the pocket of her jeans.

"Who was that on the phone dear?" Esme inquired as Bella took her seat across from me at the dinner table. She never even glanced at me when she answered with another lilting laugh.

"God, that was Seth. He was letting me know when they would be back." She shook her head and smiled.

"So did he say how the meeting went?" Rose questioned

Before she could answer I heard myself speak "So what, Bella, your husband isn't enough for you? You need a little toy on the side as well?" The venom that dripped from my words were not lost on my family sitting around me as I openly glared at the tiny vixen sitting mere feet from me.

The smile that had been on her face when I spit those words at her like a slap fell into a scowl that literally, if looks could kill, I would be six feet under. Ah, so I've offended her? Well act like a tramp you get treated like a tramp. I mean she's married for Pete sakes! I prepared myself for the attack that I was sure was imminent from the angry little woman who thought she was a tiger.

I was surprised when the scowl turned into a saccharine smile and she turned to Esme, thanked her for the lovely dinner, hugged Alice, kissed my father and bid the rest of the family a good night. My mouth dropped as she turned on her heel and strode from the room with her head held high without ever looking back at me.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" Emmett boomed when we heard the front door click to a close.

"Oh Edward," was all my mother could utter as I looked around the table at my family and friends who were all glaring daggers at me.

"You know what man, you're my best friend but really that woman, who you basically just called a whore, is my _sister_. I'll just say this one time and hope to God I don't ever have to say it again, but if you ever talk to my sister like that again best friend or not I'm gonna kick your ass!" With that Emmett stood and excused himself, thanking Esme and Carlisle for the dinner, and walked out. Rose was quick to follow him with baby Garrett, but not before staring at me as though she really wanted to kill me at that moment.

Alice never said a word; she just stood, clasped Jasper's hand and walked out of the room. Jasper gave me a last pitying look as he allowed Alice to pull him from the room.

"Edward, what on Earth would possess you to talk to Bella in such a way?" Esme questioned me.

I couldn't answer my whole body was vibrating with the anger that I felt coursing through my body. It wasn't at Bella anymore it was completely directed at myself.

"Edward, son, I think you need to have a drink. Why don't you come into the study with me?" Carlisle, always the one to keep the peace, stood as a strange look passed between he and Esme. I wasn't sure what it meant but at this point I couldn't really find it in me to care.

I stood wordlessly and followed the man that had been my father the majority of my life into his study. He opened the door into the room where he and I had spent many hours discussing anything and everything . I had cried here as a little boy when he talked to me about my parents after their death. I had raged in this room when I had made the decision to let Bella go and it seemed that I would go through those motions again tonight. Only it was different this time; I wasn't an eighteen year old boy, I was a grown man and I had just literally accused the only woman I have ever loved of being an adulterer, a _whore_. There was absolutely nothing Carlisle could say to me that would make me feel worse than the way I felt at this very moment.

He hadn't said a word since we entered this room, he just walked to the wet bar and poured us both a scotch, handing me one of the crystal glasses. I took it and downed the entire thing with one swallow, hissing and enjoying the burn as the smooth liquid slid down my throat.

I poured myself another as I found my way to one of the leather Queen Anne chairs arranged near the fireplace. I lowered myself into the chair and released a long sigh, pulling my hand through my hair.

"Would you like to tell me why it is that you felt it necessary to attack Bella in such a way at our table tonight Edward?" Carlisle was a good man but he had little patience for rudeness. Tonight I had been the epitome of rude; really I wouldn't have blamed Emmett if he had thrown me up against the wall and used my head as a punching bag. I deserved it. God, I was a complete ass!

"No sir. I'd really rather not talk about it," I replied taking another sip of my drink. The scotch was beginning to work at calming my frazzled nerves.

"Well that's just not acceptable Edward. I really can't for the life of me understand what possessed you to talk to her like that. Your mother and I didn't raise you to speak to women in such a way. And for you to talk to _Bella _like that…I don't even know what to say. I…Edward you're a grown man and I'm not going to sit here and talk to you like a child. You're a complete ass for talking to her like that. You have no idea what that girl has been through in the last year. Maybe if you had bothered to call home more or visit instead of making up lame excuses about having to fly out the same day for some trumped up lecture you would know where she has been. You might do well to realize she's not the little girl you once knew," Carlisle admonished. I knew Carlisle always held a special spot for Bella but I was confused about what he was trying to say.

"I know I haven't been home, or kept in contact with the family like I should have, and I'm really sorry for that. I'm not going to make excuses or tell you I've just been really busy. Because I know ya'll have heard it all before, just know that I'm sorry for all that. But I don't understand what you're talking about. What has Bella been through?" I was thoroughly confused. Bella was happy, she was married to that fucker and obviously also had a friend on the side.

"Edward…." Carlisle looked up at me with a sad expression on his face. "Bella has had a really hard time the last several months. When you came home after Garrett was born did you even ask about her?" I shook my head. I didn't ask about her, why would I? I was trying to keep all those feelings in check, why would I ask about her while I was doing my best to get out of town before I ran into her?

"She's not married anymore Edward. She's not having an affair with Seth. Tyler had an affair with Tanya Denali. They're divorced."  
I couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. Bella was divorced? She wasn't having an affair? She wasn't married? Oh God…I had just... "Oh my god, what did I do?" I looked up to see the pity in Carlisle's face; he just shook his head at me and sat down near me in the other chair.

"Yes Edward, you made a bad situation even worse with your little accusation tonight. I would think that you probably need to find some way to mend that bridge before you've burned it completely." With that my father stood again, clapped me on the shoulder as he passed and strode out of the room leaving me to burn in the knowledge of the mess I had created.

~*~

I had gotten a call from Emmett earlier this morning asking that I come out to the farm and look over an autopsy report they had gotten back on one of their mares. She had recently died after foaling, for a yet to be determined cause. It had been almost a week since the dinner with Bella and I had no more idea how to fix this mess than I did the night Carlisle informed me that things were not how I thought. I knew I needed to apologize for talking to her in such a way. I still couldn't figure out why I felt so angry when I saw her, why I couldn't control the need to lash out at her. I mean yeah, I had always been a bit of a hot head but really, this was Bella, why did I feel the need to hurt her more than I already had?

_Because you're a jealous prick and you can't stand the thought of her moving on when you've done nothing but regret for the last nine years, ya think?_

I parked the Mercedes near the entrance of the barn. As I stepped out of the car I heard that same lilting laughter, causing my heart to pound and my breath to catch.

I made my way toward the sound and was caught off guard when a deep, male voice drifted to me.

I couldn't make out their conversation but I knew they were laughing excessively about something. I began to feel that same black coiling anger boiling in my abdomen. I had to control this, I had made a mess out of the first time I had seen her in years, and my family was not all too happy with me. Alice refused to even look at me and only spoke to me when I asked her a direct question. No one, and I mean no one, could hold a grudge like my little sister. It would be a whole other process to once again get in her good graces.

Well, I had every intention of apologizing to Bella when I came out to the ranch today. I had every intention of looking over these reports and finding a way to reconnect with Bella on at least a level where we could be friends again. Those were all my intentions but what's that saying….about the road to hell being paved with good intentions?

I had entered the covered arena and propped myself up on the bars of the round pen before Bella noticed me. She didn't glare at me as I had expected, she actually smiled. For some reason that I could not explain that made me angrier than if she had cursed me out right then and there. Did she not care at all what I had said? Had she really moved on to the point that my opinion of her made no difference what so ever? I felt my hands clench into fist and my jaw tighten as I watched the tall Native American remove his hands from around her waist. He turned and smirked at me.

"Seth, would you mind taking this boy back in the barn and un-tack him for me? I need to show Edward those reports on Lacy," she asked of the man at her side.

"You're sure Bella? Sure I don't need to hang around?" He was talking to Bella but his eyes never left mine.

"No. It's fine. Just take Raven and cool him down for me, alright," she smiled at the man, handing him the reins. So this was Seth?

I felt my jaw clench in my attempt to control the jealousy and anger that were crawling through my body once again.

Bella walked toward where I stood, removing her leather gloves and placing them in her back pocket. She looked amazing, her tight faded and ripped jeans tucked into her boots, with a tiny pink tank top, I felt my body responding against my better judgment.

_Yeah, real smooth Cullen, you called her a whore and now you're going to stand here in front of her with an erection. _

"Hey," she greeted when she finally made it to where I stood.

"Hey," I replied. _Yep, you're a smooth mother aren't ya Cullen?_

"Emmett told me he had talked to you about looking at those reports. I have them in the office if you want to walk up there with me." She opened the small gate that allowed her to step out of the round pen only a few inches from where I stood.

I held my breath when her hair brushed across my forearm as she turned to re-lock the gate.

Following her to the office we never spoke, my anger and jealousy beginning to eat at me. The jealousy I was feeling over seeing her laughing like that with Seth; his hands around her waist, I felt my jaw tighten once more as those images played out in my mind again.

"Come on in, let me see, where did I put those reports …." Bella shuffled several piles of papers around on her desk as I made my way over to the book shelves to peruse the books located there.

"Ah, here they are. I don't really know what you'll be able to tell us really but I'm glad that you agreed to look anyway."

"Hmm….yeah don't mention it," I replied as I took the papers from her and began looking over what was on the reports.

~*~

BPOV

It had been almost a week since I had walked out of the Cullen's house as calmly as I possibly could trying to hold my head high. Considering Edward had just called me a whore to my face, I was pretty impressed with myself for not knocking that condescending smirk off of his pretty little face.

_Damn him!_

Why had the years been so kind to him? He was beautiful as a young man, as a teenager, but the man that walked down those stairs was stunning. He was dressed in a black button down, the sleeves rolled up, revealing his sinewy forearms. The dark washed jeans that were slung low on his hips and those damn cowboy boots. I had to bite the inside of my jaw to suppress the groan that threatened to erupt from my throat as he stepped down and entered the foyer. Then there was the hair, my hands itched to run through those silky disheveled strands. How soft his hair always felt as I ran my hands through it, that I remembered like a stab to my heart, my hands shook and I clasped them in front of me hoping no one noticed.

Though he was still the beautiful man I remembered the cold fury I saw in his eyes was not the same and the way he acted throughout dinner was just confusing and infuriating. The look on his face when our eyes finally met, that was not the man that I remembered. He looked so angry, with me, and I had no idea what he had to be angry at me about. I couldn't believe how much he _had_ changed.

That had been almost a week ago and Edward had not tried to contact me to apologize or even acknowledge the fact that he was completely out of line. I had made my mind up that for the sake of not ruining Jasper and Alice's wedding I would swallow my desire to slap that damn sexy condescending smirk off his face and deal with Edward as though he were nothing more than a friend, ignoring his behavior and try not to cause any undue stress for Alice with the two of us trying to rip each other to pieces.

Then this morning Emmett had walked in the barn as I was saddling up to begin exercising the first horse of the day.

"Hey baby girl, how are you this morning?" Okay so Emmett had to be up to something because he was never at the barn this early in the morning and he sure wasn't this _nice_ to me this early in the morning.

"What are you up to Em? I know that 'hey baby girl' sound in your voice so what is it that you need me to do that you're afraid I'm going to say no too?" I laughed as his mouth fell open and he shook his head.

"How the hell do you do that?"

"I'm talented," I quipped.

"Yeah well, whatever. Listen so here's the thing. I know we got those lab reports on Lacy's autopsy from James. So I called Edward and asked him to come over later this morning and take a look at them to see if he can find anything that might explain what happened," Emmett followed me out to the practice pen as I led Raven inside and tightened the cinch once more before swinging myself into the saddle.

"So what is it Emmet? What are you trying to ask me? Are you trying to ask me if I'll meet with Edward about the reports?" I smiled because I knew this was exactly what he was trying to get out.

"Yeah, baby girl. That's exactly what I was trying to ask you. I have a conference call with a couple of farms on purchasing some of these two year olds and I can't really break free to talk to him myself. So you're alright with that?" he asked again though he sounded wary.

"Yes Emmett. I'm fine with it. Just because Edward has chosen to be a complete asshat does not mean I have to be that way. So it's fine. I'll meet with him, show him the reports and hopefully something will scream at him from those papers." I laughed as Emmett released a breath I'm not even sure he realized he was holding.

An hour later I was in the middle of my training session with Raven when I heard a whistle from outside the pen. I looked up to see Seth standing just on the other side of the fence, waving at me. He really was a goof ball sometimes, and we had really become good friends.

I loped across the training pen to where Seth was standing.

"Hey you! When did you get in?"I asked as soon as I was close enough to not have to scream.

"The plane landed at four. I went home and caught a few hours sleep and headed up here so we could go celebrate," He gave me that million dollar smile and I had to laugh again.

"Seth, I told you I had about a thousand different things to do today. I can't go celebrate now but maybe dinner. How's that sound?" I knew he was only half teasing me, if I had said alright he would have been the first in the truck ready to go.

Seth stepped inside the gate and walked over to where I sat on Raven.

"How's his training coming?" he inquired

"It's coming. He's stubborn as a mule but he's starting to figure out what I'm asking of him."

This colt had been one of the hardest projects I had tackled in a long time.

I started to hop down when my foot caught in the stirrup and I fell backwards. Luckily Seth was close enough to catch me before I landed on my ass again. I laughed as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close to his chest and teasing that I was absolutely the clumsiest person he had ever been around in his life. I laughed too and steadied myself as he allowed my feet to touch the ground. It was just then that I realized we had an audience.

I acknowledged Edward and asked Seth to take Raven back to the barn for me. The silence between us was deafening as I led Edward back to the office to retrieve the autopsy reports.

"Come on in, let me see, where I put those reports…." I opened the door and let Edward into the office. Finally finding the reports on my disaster of a desk; I had been going over the financials for the ranch before starting my training sessions for the day and it was a complete mess.

"Ah, here they are. I don't really know what you'll be able to tell us really but I'm glad you agreed to look anyway. Thanks for doing this for us Edward. I really don't know something just doesn't fit with what James is telling me." I wanted him to be aware I knew he was doing us a favor and I appreciated his help in trying to figure out what had happened to Lacy even if he was being a major ass.

"Hmm…..yeah, don't mention it," he replied but never looked up from the reports I had handed him.

He continued to study the papers with that same cold demeanor he had held since the dinner with his family. I remembered this posturing from him, he was pissed but I really had no idea about what. I mean really, I wasn't going to twist his arm into helping us out and looking at some reports just to ease my mind so if that was his problem , he needed to tell me and go the hell on.

I had a suspicion that James' assurances about Lacy having died from natural causes weren't ringing true, it just didn't seem to fit with what we witnessed and what I knew had been a drastic deterioration in her health immediately after she foaled.

"So what do you think? Anything jumping off the paper at you?" I tried to keep a light tone to my voice. I didn't want him to know how uncomfortable he was making me with the hostility I could feel rolling off his body.

"No," he replied in a clipped tone.

I took a deep breath as I felt my temper begin to rise.

_Oh no. Now don't go getting your panties in a bunch._

I'm not getting my panties in a bunch, he's being an ass.

"Okay. Well…um…James said that the results were really inconclusive for anything except the normal organ atrophy from age, but I don't know, I just have this feeling." I tried to explain myself more and the feeling I had that there was more going on with Lacy's death. We had lost three foals this year as well but losing Lacy was so much worse.

"Well Bella, gut feelings really don't come across very well in lab reports. So I really don't know what it is you want me to tell you," Edward snapped finally meeting my shocked gaze.

That was the last straw. He had been a whiny bitch during dinner with his family and couldn't even bother himself to be civil after the way he had spoke to me? Then he has the nerve to stand in _my_ barn and cop this attitude with me? I felt my face flush red as my temper and patience met their boiling point.

"Listen here, you pompous ass. I don't claim to be a veterinarian. I don't understand everything that those reports mean. But I do know when something is wrong with one of my animals. This is my farm and we asked you to look at that as a friend, as someone who I _thought _cared about what happened here as much as Em and I do. Because, even though you've been a royal ass since you graced us with your presence, I thought we were still friends. But I'm gonna tell you right now you can either check that fucking attitude at the door, Edward Cullen, or don't let it hit you in the ass as you walk back out of it!" My voice had risen an octave as I finished my tirade and realized I had stepped impossibly close to his body jabbing, my finger into his rock hard chest.

Edward glared down at me, eyes blazing with barely contained fury, his full lips drawn into an impossibly tight line. He gave a curt nod, turned on his heel and walked out. "I'll call Emmett when I have an answer for you," he called over his shoulder as he stepped into the open and he was gone, again.

I stood there for another minute before I headed toward the practice pen, still shaking with anger. At least I could work out my frustration with Edward during the training sessions today.

~*~

_What the hell is that noise?_

Ugh, I hated that alarm clock. I grumbled and growled to myself as I threw the blankets away from my legs and stood to stop the infernal noise that was blaring from the blasted thing. I always placed my alarm across the room on my dresser because otherwise I would cut it off, roll back over and go back to sleep. I couldn't do that today of all days.

There was no way I would survive if I was late for my appointment today. I could only imagine the torture I would endure from the evil pixie if I was even one minute late to the final fitting with the dressmaker. Alice and Jasper's wedding was two weeks away, and Rose and I were to meet with the seamstress at eight o'clock sharp, on a flippin Saturday morning.

Okay so granted I was usually up by six during the week anyway, but Saturday was the one day when Emmett would take care of the early morning responsibilities and I could sleep a few extra hours. I always took a break from training on Saturday and usually only had a light session on Sunday if we weren't meeting with a potential buyer.

So the fact that even though I ordinarily could have slept at least another two hours I had to get my ass in the shower and over to the big house to pick up Rose.

"So how did the meeting with the ass go yesterday?" Rose inquired as I walked in the kitchen where she was currently wrestling with a very irate Garrett. "Garrett, please get out of the cabinet." I laughed as I watched Rose take the Cascade bottle out of his hands and close the cabinet. "You know Bella, I have been telling your brother for two weeks that we need to put a new child lock on that stupid cabinet, but has the jackass done it yet? No, he keeps telling me he'll do it but it doesn't get done." Rose ranted as I shook my head and poured myself a cup of coffee.

I bent down to pick Garrett up off the floor. "So are you going with us today, little man?"

"No, he's going with Emmett to pick up your parents. Their flight is supposed to be in at like ten I think," Rose was busy pouring formula into bottles while packing the diaper bag with more snacks and juice than I thought a grown man could eat in a sitting.  
"Rose, does Garrett really eat that many snacks?" I asked.

"What?" She looked at me confused, so I pointed to the overflowing diaper bag "Oh, no these snacks are for Em. He says he always gets hungry when waiting like that and he hates eating airport food. So I'm packing him some stuff in Garrett's bag, "she explained with a laugh as she added another baggie of pretzels.

"You've got to be kidding me? Your daddy is a real piece of work, you know that Garrett?" I laughed and nuzzled my nose with the little button nose of my nephew. He was crawling everywhere now and really keeping Rose and Emmett on the toes.

"You ready to go? Alice will kill us if we're late, we just need to drop Garrett off at the barn with Emmett."Rose was already on her way toward the door as she grabbed her keys from the counter, threw her purse and the diaper bag over her shoulder andheading for the door without waiting for my reply.

Obviously I had no choice as to whether I was ready or not. I just shook my head, grinning at Garrett, who I held in my arms, as he carried on a very intense conversation with the stuffed bull in his chubby little hands. It was eerie how much of a carbon copy he was of Emmett. He was definitely Rose's child, he was beautiful and you could see her in the soft features, but the dark curls and the huge dimples were all Emmett. I kissed his forehead and headed out the door toward the garage. I had hoped that I would have a baby of my own by this time in my life but I guess that just didn't seem to be in the cards for me.

I sighed and buckled the baby in his seat. There was one bright spot; I had successfully distracted Rose from continuing any conversation that remotely concerned Edward Cullen. I had no desire to discuss him or the argument we had yesterday.

You know, it was just the weirdest thing. I didn't understand why Edward was being such an ass to me. We had not seen each other in two years. I'd had absolutely no contact with him at all in that time; it was like he had dropped off the face of the Earth as far as I was concerned. He hadn't talked with his family much in that period of time either. That's what made his behavior even stranger; I mean really what had I done to make him so angry with me? It just didn't make any sense. I thought I knew Edward. Or I knew who Edward used to be, obviously he had changed more than I could imagine, and that thought made me sadder than it should.

We dropped Garrett off with Emmett and were pulling up in front of the bridal shop before I really came back from my thoughts about Edward. You know that was strange in itself? Why was Rose letting me get away without asking anything more about Edward? And why was she so quiet the entire ride now? This was really out of character for her.

"Rose are you alright?" I just had to ask, it was just not Rose to let things go like this.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" But the words didn't fit with her body language.

"Rose really? What's up with you?"

"Look Bella, I don't want to say anything right now, okay?" She looked at me with a sad smile and I was even more concerned about her actions.

"Okay. But you would talk to me if there was something wrong, right?" She nodded, though I still felt really uneasy about this conversation but I let it drop for now.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I want to thank everyone who has read and reviewed, everyone who has put this story on alert or favorited the story. I truly appreciate it more than I can express. To everyone on twitter and the thread on Twilighted all of whom I talk to daily, thank you so much for your support. To my amazing beta, Stavanger 1, thank you so much for just being there and being the best beta ever! For anyone who doesn't know this and you really should but still, Stavanger1 and Kinolaughs has a blog on which they recommend fics that for whatever reason may not have gotten as much exposure as they should. These stories are amazing and these girls work hard to put out recommendations of great stories worth the time to read so check out their blog at .com/?zx=174f39d5f72e66d1**

**For reasons that overwhelm me more than I can express in words, Stavanger1 has graced me by recommending Make Me Believe on her blog this week. For that I cannot express my gratitude enough! A simple thank you does not suffice, but it's the only words I have so again Thank You. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight, SM owns it all. Dammit, sad but it's true. I do however own the names of the horses in this fic, and the situations depicted, they are all mine. **

**More A/N notes at the bottom. **

**Enjoy! **

Chapter 4

BPOV

I let the uneasiness I felt over Rose's behavior go for the moment. I know there's something she's not telling me but I also knew there was no getting it out of her until she was ready to tell me.

We walked up the steps to the little house that had been renovated into the dress shop. There were mannequins draped in the most amazing dresses I had ever laid eyes on. This was just some little hick dressmaker that Alice had commissioned to construct her wedding gown, as well as our bridesmaid dresses. No. Alice always put one hundred and ten percent into everything she did and her wedding was certainly not an exception. Madame Rochelle was a designer who had grown tired of the cat-fighting in the designing world and decided she would settle in a place where she could create yet be as far away from the madness as possible. Somehow she made her way to our little town and continued having, a booming business designing cotillion dresses, and of course ,the wedding attire for the country club set.

Funny ,we never considered ourselves the country club set, but I guess on some levels we were, at least our parents were members even if they rarely ever attended anything there.

"AYYYYY!" I heard the voice of the little pixie before I saw her bounding toward Rose and me.

"Bella, Rose you guys finally made it! I was starting to think you were going to be late again. Bella, you need to get your skinny ass into the first dressing room and get that dress on, I need to see how the cut is going to lay and-" I cut her off before she could go any further.

"Alice, take a breath for Pete's sake. We were not "almost late", we are exactly," I looked at my watch, "five minutes early. Calm down. Madame Rochelle will make sure the dress is perfection; you already know this. Just take a breath." I placed my hands on both of her upper arms, rubbing up and down soothingly.

"Damn Alice, you need to take a pill or something. You're going to have a coronary if you seriously don't calm down," Rose quipped as she made her way to the back of the shop and to the dressing rooms.

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm just so nervous. I want everything to be just perfect and I got a call first thing this morning that the birch bark we ordered for the centerpieces for the tables has been backordered and I don't know what I'm going to do now. I mean I had this whole picture in my head of how I wanted the center pieces to look and now?" She was gearing up for another melt down session and I placed both my hands on either side of her face.

"Alice, take a breath."She inhaled deeply, "Good. Now listen to me. Are you having a wedding for the perfect flower arrangements and the perfect food and the perfect table centerpieces? Or are you having this wedding to have the perfect husband? Because if you're doing it so that everything looks perfect or tastes perfect and not because Jasper is the perfect man for you then you need to call this whole thing off right now." I could see her visibly begin to relax as what I was asking her began to sink through the frenzy she had worked herself up to today.

"No, Bella you know all I want is Jasper. You're right; I just need to calm down because everything will be fine. It doesn't matter about all the other stuff so long as that man is standing at the end of that aisle; nothing else really matters does it? Thank you." She wiped the tears that had leaked out from her eyes and smiled at me as only Alice could.

"No Alice, it really doesn't." I wrapped my arms around her tiny body, embracing the best friend I have ever had.

"Okay, so you've succeeded in bringing me out of my freak-out but you seriously need to get your ass in that dressing room and put that hot dress on your sexy self." I laughed at her as I kissed her forehead and headed to the room in which she directed.

I have to admit, as little as I like wearing anything even remotely similar to couture, as uncomfortable as I was out of my jeans and boots the dress that Madame Rochelle and Alice had designed was beautiful. After everything that had happened over the last year I just didn't feel comfortable with my body and I didn't feel like a whole woman so it was hard to look at myself as sexy or desirable any longer, but the dress they had created made me feel somewhat pretty.

I stepped out of the dressing room to find Rose on the little raised platform in front of the wall of mirrors, Alice and Madame Rochelle flittering around her making small readjustments. Rose was arguably the most beautiful woman I had ever met. She was tall, with platinum blonde hair that hung to her waist, and a curvaceous body that drove men insane. In complete contrast was the waif that was Alice. Though she was otherworldly beautiful she was tiny, barely five feet tall and so thin that she looked very much like a child. The fact that she was an endless ball of energy only added to the impression of a childlike quality. Me, I was somewhere on the periphery, I felt I was attractive enough. I was certainly not on the level with Rosalie and where Alice was Twiggy thin I had curves, just nothing to write home to momma about.

"OH MY GOD!" Alice squealed, bringing me back to reality.

"Bella, that is amazing! That fits you like it was made just for your body." Alice clapped her hands and bounced on the balls of her feet.

"That dress will knock Seth's socks off when he see's you in it." Rose stepped off the platform so I could take her place.

"Yes darling, this is a perfect fit. I really think no alterations will be needed. I'm quite surprised actually that it fits so well with only the one fitting we were able to get in," Madame Rochelle inspected the lines of the dress to ensure there was nothing that needed to be altered.

The dresses that Alice had chosen were from Madame Rochelle's Casaluna line. Not that I had any freakin' idea what that meant, but that's what I was told so? The dresses that Rose and I would be wearing had a full floor length A-line skirt, or that's what Alice called the skirt, A-line, gathered in a random pattern in small folds; a pale pistachio green. The top was separate from the skirt and was a soft satin cream halter top with a contrasting ribbon around the waist, tied in a bow, the same color as the skirt. I had to admit it was an amazing dress.

"Yes, darling with your coloring and that mahogany hair this dress is perfect for you." Madame Rochelle complimented. "Okay, off with you, you must take it off now before any harm comes to my creation." And with that she shooed me off toward the dressing room to remove the dress. Madame Rochelle would be storing the dresses here until the day before the wedding; this was Alice's idea to keep Jasper from seeing her wedding gown.

As I stepped back out of the dressing room I was overwhelmed with the images of Alice in her wedding gown, standing on the very platform I had vacated a short time ago.

She was stunning. There were really no words for how beautiful she was in her gown. I noticed that Esme had arrived and she was standing just to the side of Alice with her hand over her mouth and tears in her eyes. Alice had chosen a stunning straight line dress that accentuated the small curves of her body and actually made her look taller somehow. It had this beautiful straight neck line with scalloped appliqués placed in intricate patterns all over the bodice. I think they described it as a tulip dress; it fit her body like a glove until it reached her knees where it gradually flared. There was a small train flowing behind her on the floor. The tiny straps that crossed her shoulders were bejeweled with Swarovski crystals, which were also sewn into patterns on the entire gown. Breathtaking, that's the only way to describe Alice in that moment. Jasper was going to be a happy, happy man.

"Oh, Alice. My dear child…. my baby….. you are remarkable," Esme whispered. I really don't think she had the strength to speak above that she was so overcome with emotion at that moment. It really was a beautiful sight to behold. I remembered when I was the one standing on a similar platform and my mother was witnessing me in my wedding gown for the first time. She held a similar expression to the one on Esme's face but when I think back on it now there was something more there, in her eyes.

I understood that look more a week later when she came to my room the night before my wedding.

"_Bella honey, are you sure that this is what you want? Are you sure, with all your heart that he is your future? Are you positive that you can give him your whole heart Bella?" My mother had entered my room as I was preparing for bed. _

_I was getting married tomorrow. This time tomorrow I would be a married woman; I felt the butterflies in my stomach and swallowed the wave of nausea that threatened to overtake me. I knew this was just normal nervousness before walking down the aisle, it had to be, right? Everybody got a little bit of cold feet before they got married. That's all it was, just nerves. _

_I would feel better tomorrow after it was all over and we were married and could go back to just being us, this whole wedding planning thing had gotten totally out of hand. I had let Alice talk me into letting her handle all the arrangements and good lord; I should have known that was a mistake. I mean, I really appreciated all the hard work and time she had put into my wedding but really, I would have been just as happy going to the Bahamas and getting married on the beach. Tyler had wanted a church wedding and said that his mother would kill him if we ran off and got married on the beach somewhere so I had relented and allowed Alice to have free rein. _

_I didn't know why my mother had chosen tonight of all nights to ask me such an off- the- wall question. Of course I was ready to give my heart away, he already had it, and what was she even talking about? _

"_Yes, momma. I'm sure that this is what I want. He's a good man, he's where I belong, he wants me." I looked at her like she had lost her mind until she laid a small picture frame in my hands, cupped my cheek with her hand and walked out of the room. _

_The last words that I had uttered registered with me as she gave me one last sad look. _

_He wants me._

_I looked down at the picture that she had placed in my hands and felt the tears well in my eyes._

The thoughts of that picture, my mother's questions, and knowing what I knew now had me feeling shaken. That picture, it was so obvious when my mother laid it in my hands she knew more than she was revealing but she knew that I had to figure it all out on my own. That it wouldn't matter how much she tried to talk to me about how wrong my marriage to Tyler was, when I was in love with another man, I wouldn't have listened. I truly thought at that time that I had gotten over Edward Cullen. I pushed those thoughts away because I just didn't want to think about that now; today was about Alice not about the mess that my life had become. And now that Edward had come back into it there wasn't a snowballs chance in hell it was going to be improving any time in the near future.

~*~

Rose and I were just climbing in her car when my cell phone rang. I hit the little green button to answer the call in a flourish when I notice the id flashed on the screen; it was the veterinarian.

"Hello," I answered almost breathlessly. I was suddenly frightened that something had happened to the foal, that maybe he had taken a turn for the worse, although I had just spoke with James late last night and everything had been fine. It was irrational but I was so connected to this orphaned foal, I couldn't breathe for just a second as the fear gripped me so completely.

"Hey Bella, don't freak out the foal's fine. So you can breathe alright," James laughed into the phone.

I blew out the breath I had been holding and asked, "So what's up then?"

"I just wanted to see if you were ready for your little guy to come home?"

I was speechless. I looked over at Rose with tears in my eyes; she gave me a reassuring smile and reached for my hand. I mouthed to her 'it's James' and she nodded her understanding.

Dr. James Anderson, the veterinarian on staff with the ranch called with an update and to make arrangements for Lacy's foal to finally come home. It seems he was improved to the point where James felt it would be safe for us to trailer him home and with the care he would receive between Laurent and I he thought it would be good to get him home. I know I probably should call him Dr. Anderson, but he was only a couple years older than me and well we had just known each other so long it was hard to think of him as 'Dr. Anderson', he was just James. He was a good guy and a good veterinarian but I still had my suspicions that he had missed something really big in Lacy; we had lost her and almost lost the foal as well.

I listened to all that James needed to tell me in regards to the special feeding schedule and vitamin supplements that he felt would be a good idea to start as well.

"Well…..no, that sounds good. Um, just let me check with Laurent to make sure everything is ready at the barn. What about any other special instructions? "

I completed getting the instructions for what type of care we would need to be providing when we had the foal all to ourselves, making notes in my day planner. Looks like I'd be living in the barn literally for the next several weeks. I would have to make arrangements to have another one of the ranch hands fill in for me when I was gone on our camping trip, and then the Las Vegas auction was only a few weeks away as well.

Alice and Jasper had decided that they did not want to do the traditional bachelor/bachelorette party. They had, instead, decided they wanted just the six of us to take a camping trip. We were riding out to an old haunt of ours from when we were teenagers, it was just a large clearing near the river but it made a great spot for camping and we had packed into it several times over the years. We had spent so many weekends there as teenagers, I couldn't even count how many hours we spent swimming in the river and the guys trying to see who could make the biggest splash in the river from the rope swing that hung from a tree on the river bank. Of course, it was usually Emmett who won that contest. I mean it always seemed pretty obvious to me that he would make a bigger splash in the water than Edward or Jasper's skinny asses, but they still wagered a bet every single time. Boys, really?

I realized after I ended the call with James that my dad would be here, he would be staying at the big house, and this was…. perfect. I always felt better when Charlie was around, especially when there were delicate situations like caring for this foal was going to be, and my dad had lived on our ranch all his life. He knew the ins and outs of everything from caring for an orphaned foal to repairing the hay-baler when it broke down. Nothing ever really got him ruffled and it always helped me stay calm because he took the things that had to be done in stride. I really needed to keep it together for this situation, this foal was going to require a lot of care but I was so ready to have him home.

~*~

EPOV

I slammed the door on my father's car, growling in frustration at the fucktastic display of stupidity that I had succeeded in exhibiting yet again in Bella's presence.

Damn that woman! How can one tiny little female be so enticing and completely infuriating at the same time?

I released a frustrated breath as I ran my hands through my hair pulling it at the ends and hoping to clear my head. I started the car and pushed its limits as I headed off the Swan ranch; away from that little furious tiger kitten. I knew Bella had a temper as well, and I had pushed her to her breaking point.

_What the hell, Cullen? What in fuck's sake were you thinking? You were supposed to be apologizing, remember? You were supposed to be trying to mend that fence? Of all the…_

I growled in frustration at my inability to control my temper, my jealousy, in her presence.

By the time I made it back to my family's ranch I had at least gotten my temper under control and upon entering the kitchen I found my pixie sister perched on a bar stool, absently flipping through some hellaciously large book.

I stopped dead because I had no fucking idea how to even begin to mend the bridges with my sister. She still had me on a need to know basis, and obviously there was very, very little that I needed to know, she had barely spoke to me since the spectacle I had created with Bella and dinner.

"Hey elf," I called from the doorway of the kitchen as I crossed to the refrigerator to retrieve a beer. I know it's barely noon but _dammit _I was pissed and it was hot as hell already outside so I needed it, sue me.

Alice looked up at me from her bridal planner or datebook or whatever the hell that monstrosity was, it had more stickers and random loose pieces of paper sticking out of it than anything I had ever seen. She did not respond to my pitiful attempt at goading her into a conversation.

"So, whatcha lookin'at?" I leaned a hip into the counter just out of reach of her evil little fingers. Alice was notorious for pinching in that extremely sensitive skin just on the underside of the bicep, and I'm not a wus but that shit hurts like a son of a bitch.

Again, nothing. Well hells bells, the evil little sprite was really pissed at me. So I tried another approach. I knew I would probably regret it but it was worth a try. I hadn't seen my sister for any length of time in years and I really didn't want her to be on hiatus from speaking to me the whole time I was in town.

"Alice look, I'm sorry if I offended you and hurt you by my asswipe performance at dinner the other night." I figured the worst that could happen is she would launch her tiny body off that stool and scratch my eyes out. Don't laugh, that was totally possible, Alice may be little but she's vicious.

She glared at me for what seemed like for-fucking-ever before she finally smiled an evil grin and I felt my stomach flip, I might have even thrown up a little in my mouth. Seriously, Alice scared the shit out of me, even more so than Rose. Rose was all full out no holds barred kick ass and take names, you kind of always knew where you stood with Rosalie. Fact is right now I knew I was not in good standing with much of anybody. At least Em and Jasper were still talking to me. Emmett and I had a conversation and he'd warned me again, and I quote "don't ever fucking talk to my sister like that again unless you want those raisins you call balls to be detached from your body, do I make myself clear?'

So we were good because I knew he was completely serious and I definitely needed very much to keep my body as is. I unconsciously cupped my balls as the memory of Emmet's threat came back to me.

"Brother dear," _oh shit_, "I know you are very sorry for treating my best friend like trash. I also know that there is more to your little outburst the other night than you are letting on, so I'm going to let it slide because…. well , honestly I don't have time to torture you as I would so enjoy doing right now. I'm too busy trying to pull off this wedding, so for once you're receiving a reprieve, consider yourself very fucking lucky." With that she hopped down from her perch, but as she passed the evil sprite pinched the underside of my bicep so hard I knew she had to have broken the skin.

"OW! Damn woman! I thought you said you were letting me off the hook?" I questioned as I rubbed the area where her tiny nails had left indentions in my skin. She released the most evil laugh I believe I have ever heard and a chill ran down my back.

"Oh you did get off easy Edward." She was still laughing as she skipped out of the room and down the hallway. God only knows where the evil wench was off to, I just knew that I would still need to be on guard because I was getting the feeling that her idea of letting me off the hook and my idea of said situation were not on the same plane of reality.

~*~

I made my way up the stairs of my parent's home, to my childhood bedroom, with the autopsy reports I had been given by Bella earlier today in hand. I had only briefly scanned them while in the office with Bella but in such close proximity to her it was hard to concentrate on anything, especially something as complex as what I seemed to be seeing on this report as I took time to truly dissect every revelation.

I read and re-read the reports more than once. I scrubbed my hands over my face, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands. I needed more information on this mare to help make sense of what I was seeing. I needed to make a phone call.

"Hello?" I heard his voice and took a deep breath as I prepared to ask the questions I needed answers to and I didn't think that the answers I gave would be received very well.

"Em, I need some answers. I'm looking at these autopsy reports and I need you to tell me more about this mare," I said quickly, preparing myself to tell him the answers I had for him at this point. I knew Emmett was not going to be happy about what I had to tell him. Honestly, I was pretty pissed myself. To know that a colleague could be negligent in such epic proportions, I shook my head at the realization of how this would affect Bella. If my suspicions were right their vet had missed a major health issue with this mare.

I spoke with Emmett giving him a brief rundown of my preliminary thoughts and requested that he get any lab reports that he could provide me with so I could make a more definitive diagnosis. If I was going to make the claim that a colleague had screwed up and missed something like this I wanted to be sure I was right.

* * *

**A/N:**

**There are links on my profile for Bella/Rose bridesmaid dresses and Alice's wedding dress if anyone wants to actually see the dresses. **

**Now please review. I'm really a junkie for the reviews, I love 'em. Never thought I would be the one asking for reviews, cause I really never expected to be writing a fic but here I am doing both. Show me some love and let me know what you think?**

**I know some of you are jonesing for Edward to apologize for being such a dick and I promise it's coming, the boy has issues and it's coming, he just has to work through things.**

**Okay I want to rec a story that really deserves your attention.**

**Cullen312 has a story Embodiment and it truly is great so go read it now! Really it deserves your attention, you will not be sorry! The link is in my favorites, check it out, you won't regret it!**

**So now hit that little green button and let me know what you think so far? MWAH!!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N HI all. I want to first of thank everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted and favorited Make Me Believe. I just can't tell you how much I really appreciate all your comments and support! Thank you all!!!**

**I want to also send out a huge Congratulations to my super beta Stavanger1, for her one-shot The Girl Next Door which won best One-Shot on the Razzle Dazzle awards. If you haven't read this...go, now, read because it is complete win, her profile is in my favs check it out!!! As well as her other stories!!!**

**Thanks to Jessica1971 for all your feedback as well! **

**Okay so this chapter is all BPOV, sorry I know many of you want EPOV all the time and he'll return next chapter but this one had to go this way. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. **

Chapter 5

BPOV

I stopped dead in my tracks as soon as I entered the kitchen.

"What the hell, Bella?" Rose exclaimed as she crashed right into me, causing me to stumble forward, I caught myself on the doorjamb, and pointed to the spectacle of the lower half of my dad's body hanging out from the cabinet.

We couldn't contain the giggles that erupted from each of us at what had to be the most ridiculous looking sight I had ever encountered. Charlie was on all fours, the top of his torso twisted at the weirdest angle and buried in the cabinet. He was cussing under his breath at some unknown offensive item he was obviously in a fight with deep in the recesses of that cabinet.

"Daddy…" I wheezed out between fits of giggles, "What in the world are you doing?" I laughed out loud when he jumped, trying to sit straight up, and bumped his head on the upper part of the cabinet, and instigating another round of cursing and a responding fit of giggles from Rose and I.

"Well, before you girls scared the hell out of me I was replacing the safety lock on this cabinet," Charlie explained, absently rubbing the area of his forehead where it made contact with the cabinet and had now turned a nice shade of red. He laughed and continued, "Your momma noticed that the lock was broke as soon as we entered the house, so we made a trip to the store and well, that's what I was doing under the cabinet."

I noticed at that moment that Rose had become quiet. I turned to look at her and her mouth was drawn in a tight line, her face becoming a bright shade of red. _Uh Oh! _She looked pissed.

"EMMETT MCCARTY SWAN!" Rose yelled and I think the windows rattled.

She stalked across the kitchen and into the hallway which led to Emmet's study; I heard the door slam against the wall and cringed because I knew that had to have left a hole in the wall.

"Babe, I was on the phone, what the fuck?" I heard my brother call. _ Oh, he really shouldn't have said that._

"Emmett! Why is your father under my cabinet repairing a safety lock that I have asked you for two weeks to repair? He's been here all of what? Two hours? And you haven't found time to repair the damn thing in _TWO WEEKS_!" Rose was on a rampage.

Sometimes my brother really had no concept of self-preservation and I just shook my head as the maelstrom that is a pissed off Rosalie unleashed her fury; it was not going to be a pretty sight.

Charlie and I exchanged a look of pity for Emmett because surely he would not come out of that confrontation unscathed.

"So daddy, how was your flight?" I asked of my father, a smirk on my face, as we both tried desperately not to bust out in laughter. We could plainly hear everything going on between my brother and his hell cat wife. I loved Rose with all my heart, she was truly the sister I never had, but everyone knew not to piss her off. It seems my brother had a lapse in his memory of that today and was paying for it dearly.

It was so nice to be with my family. Though I spoke with my mom almost every day, the feeling of actually having her and my dad here was indescribable. My parents had moved to Corpus Christi when they retired a few years ago; they loved it there but it was hard not having them around all the time.

"So daddy, I got a call from James earlier. He said Maverick is ready to be picked up, would you go with me? I'd really like for you to take a look at him before we bring him home." I really hoped he would go, it would make me feel a lot more comfortable if I could have his opinion on the foal's condition before leaving the clinic. My dad had grown up with horses on this ranch, there really was nobody else I respected the opinion of more. I always wanted to have his approval and know that I was doing right by what he had taught Emmett and I.

"Sure, kiddo, no problem. I just need to find your momma and let her know where we're going," Charlie answered with a smile. I think he realized, though he and I were not real big on vocalizing our feelings, how much I loved him and how the respect I have for him as a horseman was immeasurable.

"Now that you say that, where _is_ momma? I can't believe she didn't tackle me to the ground when I walked in the house," I laughed because seriously, my mom rivaled Esme and Alice in her energy. She was a blur of movement most of the time and it worked great for us when Emmet and I were kids because she was always game for whatever shenanigans the two of us could conjure up. Believe me, there were a lot. It was because of our mother that I had honed my skills as a rider and had the confidence to start training for real, to promote myself as a trainer and was beginning to make a name for myself. Renee had been a driving force behind my running barrels when I was a kid. She had taken all of us under her wing, giving all of us riding lessons from the time we were big enough to sit in the saddle alone, even before our feet could reach the stirrups. Even Edward....he had come to spend time with Esme and Carlisle every summer before his parents died. I always felt that the time he had spent on horseback that first summer after his parents died helped him deal with his grief somewhat; he seemed calmer, happier somehow, when he was on a horse. Maybe that's what Edward needed, to get back on a horse. Maybe then he would get the stick out of his ass and start acting like a normal human again, maybe that would bring back the Edward that I remembered. Maybe our camping trip this week would be a good thing for him.

_Why do you care? It's not your concern as to why he's got such a chip on his shoulder._

I don't know why I cared, but I realized that I did and that scared me. I shouldn't care about Edward anymore; my heart wasn't up to that. It wouldn't withstand the pain that would come from allowing those feelings to resurface. I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind and thought, instead, about how happy I was that my parents were in town for a while, laughing quietly to myself. I was thinking of my mother in this house, somewhere with Garrett doing God knows what. My mother's enthusiasm for having fun and living life to its fullest was something she had tried hard to instill in her children. I knew in that respect I had not been living up to my mother's expectations for my life. I wanted too so badly but after everything that had happened over the last year it took all my energy to get through from day to day, holding on to the sanity that had finally begun to seep back into my life. Grabbing life by the horns and running with whatever life throws at you just wasn't an easy pill to swallow after what I had been through. And now Edward was back in my life, well sort of ….. if calling me a whore and acting like a bitch meant being back in my life, then…. Yes, he was back in my life.

"You know what? I don't have any idea where that woman went; I swear she's like a ghost sometimes. She scooted out of here with Garrett as soon as we came through the door and I swear I haven't seen hide nor hair of them since." Charlie snorted as he stood up, the tools he had used to repair the broken safety lock in hand.

"Let's go see if we can find her." Charlie placed his tools in the toolbox on the counter, closing the top and walking around the counter to wrap me in a hug. I almost cried. I don't know why, I guess my emotions were just on overload. Between Edward being such a bitch, going to the bridal shop today, and then getting the call that Maverick was coming home, I just felt like a mess. My dad hugging me was just what seemed to tip the scale I had been balancing for the past week. I sniffled and Charlie must have noticed because I felt his arms tighten as he held me.

"You okay now, baby girl?" Charlie asked when I had regained a little of my composure.

"Yeah…." I took the handkerchief my dad had pulled from his back pocket and wiped my eyes."I'm fine daddy. It's just……I'm just glad you guys are here." I didn't want to tell him everything that was going through my mind at that moment. Was I okay? I didn't really know; I hadn't really felt _okay_ for a long time.

"Well, come on then, let's go find your momma." Charlie smiled at me, placed a kiss on my forehead and released me from his embrace but threw an arm over my shoulders once I was off the stool and standing beside him.

"Bella!" my mother cried as we entered the play room on the second level. The house had several bedrooms and Rose had turned the one adjoining Garrett's room into a playroom for him. The room was filled to overflowing with riding toys, a bouncy horse that had belonged to Emmett when he was a little boy sat in one corner. Garrett had recently found the joys of this delightful toy and when anyone tried to get him off of it he would scream the most blood curdling scream. Seriously it was as if he was being tortured.

My mom flew up off the floor with the agility and grace of someone much younger than her years; but that was just one of the things about my mother, she had always been graceful. My dad had often told us that that was one of the things that first drew him to her, she was graceful. Charlie and Renee met at a horse show when they were in their early twenties. It was instantaneous, like a flash fire, the attraction between the two and from that day on they were pretty much inseparable. They married a few months later, as much as their parents protested it was too fast, that they were too young and really didn't know each other at all. Luckily their parents were wrong and it had lasted for almost thirty years. Emmett had been born almost a year to the day after they got married and I was born a year after that. They had tried to have more children in the few years after but were never successful so they decided after a while that they were happy with their family just as it was.

"Hey momma!" I ran to my mom, meeting her half way across the room."God, I've missed you guys!" I hugged her to me as tightly as I could. I tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to resurface. I didn't want to cry, I had no real reason to cry, I just felt so lost still at times and you know when your mom holds you in her arms sometimes you just can't help the emotions from coming forth. I missed my mom.

~*~

I really was a nervous wreck as I turned the truck and trailer off the highway onto the gravel drive for the equine clinic, The Anderson Equine Hospital sign stood tall at the end of the drive. I hoped that once we had Maverick home I would begin to feel more comfortable with the idea that he was going to be alright, that he was going to make it and have a long life on the ranch. I had no intentions of letting this foal off the premises, he had a home for the rest of his days, I would be sure of that.

As I parked in the area designated allowing a clear shot from the front doors to the trailer, I saw Victoria, James' assistant and resident bitch,walking toward our truck.

"Bella," she greeted with barely veiled hostility. Really, bitch? What the hell is her problem? I mean first of all I'm a very well paying client, I have never done anything to this woman, I barely know her, and she acts as though we were mortal enemies.

"Hey Victoria," I greeted her as I made it to the back of the trailer, opening the door and releasing the ramp. I tried to keep a cool head, but I wasn't known for keeping my temper and I was struggling with not asking her what her problem with me really was. I had to admit to myself, though that recently Edward had tested my control. I think I did pretty well in not ripping into him more yesterday when he was such an ass, not only could he not apologize for calling me a whore last week, he had been a total prick _again_. I took a deep breath because thinking about the two interactions I had with Edward over the last week was not helping me keep my mouth shut with the bitch I had to deal with in order to get my foal onto this trailer and back home.

"This is my dad, Charlie Swan, dad this is Victoria." I introduced the two as my dad rounded the back of the trailer, Laurent directly behind him. I had asked Laurent to tag along as well as he would be the main caretaker of Maverick, besides me, so it was important for him to come along and maybe between the three of us we could make sure that there were no questions left unasked. Though my dad was familiar with James he had not met Victoria as she had begun working with him after my dad and mom moved to Corpus. Charlie shook Victoria's hand and gave a polite nod of his head in greeting. That's my dad, a man of few words.

"So I guess you're here to pick up the little monster?" Victoria was quick to look me right in the eye; she seemed to be trying to goad me into a confrontation today. I really think I hate this woman.

"Um….no, I am here to pick up my foal, though. Is James close by? We really would like to talk with him about Maverick and ask a few more question about his care once we get him home." it was taking everything I had in me not to punch this woman in the throat right then and there. _Bitch._

_Oh yeah Bella, that's such a good idea. Really, what exactly is _that_ going to accomplish?_

Well hell, it might not accomplish a damn thing but it sure would make me feel better.

"No, he was called out on an emergency so he left me here to give you the discharge instructions. Do you think you can handle what needs to be done?" Victoria gave me a condescending smirk and turned to walk back through the wide double doors of the equine clinic. It had the appearance of a large barn but inside, it could rival any hospital anywhere in the area, human or animal. The entire floor was concrete, even the floor in the stalls for the horses were concrete. Each stall had a drain in the center and the floor was covered in a rubber mat which allowed the stalls to be cleaned out with a water hose and the rubber mat was still comfortable for the horse to stand or lie down on if they chose. Seeing as horses rarely lay down to sleep and when they do it's only for a short period of time the stalls were really comfortable.

"Yes ma'am, I can promise you that my daughter is more than capable of handling whatever it is that this little foal is going to need, she's not new to this kind of thing, but we appreciate your concern." My father's words were delivered with a politeness that only masked the fury I could see boiling behind his smile. Victoria had hit a nerve when she questioned me, questioned my ability to care for Maverick. Charlie Swan was an easy going man, but there was one thing I knew got him riled faster than anything else, don't mess with his kids, my dad was fierce when it came to protecting Em and I.

"Oh. Well, yes sir, I am quite sure that Bella is more than capable of taking care of the foal. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insinuate that she wasn't." Victoria backtracked quickly when she realized that she wasn't as sly in her digs toward me as she thought she had been.

The rest of our time at the clinic was filled with Victoria, Laurent, Charlie and I pouring over feeding schedules, amounts of formula and how much grain we should be offering Maverick every day. We had discussed buying a goat to allow him to nurse directly, instead of bottle feeding but decided it was just easier to buy the goat milk and feed him with the bottle. Victoria provided us with the supplements we would need to add to his feeding every day, and was nothing but professional for the duration of our time there.

Before I knew it, Laurent was leading Maverick from his stall and on to the trailer. _Finally, I get to bring him back home._ Lacy had become ill and died three weeks after Maverick was born and he was almost three months old now. It had been a long hard road to get here. I was so glad that we were taking this little guy home to stay.

Laurent released the snap on the lead from the halter, allowing Maverick to have free run of one section of the trailer. He was too little and unsteady on his feet to be tied inside the trailer and the area was small so he would be safer untied, otherwise he could fall while we were on the road and injure himself. Closing the partition, we enclosed him in the front of the trailer, watching as he discovered all the new scents he encountered.

In no time at all we were back out on the highway and headed home. _Home_….that's where we were taking this little foal who had truly captured a piece of my heart, we were taking him home where he would become the most spoiled rotten horse on the face of the Earth and that was just fine by me. Laurent and I went over again how we were going to set up the arrangements for caring for the foal. He knew that I was going to be tied up intermittently with Alice and Jasper's wedding coming up in two weeks, not to mention the event in Las Vegas next month. The farm would be showcasing several of the horses I was training, especially Raven. It would be my debut as a professional trainer. I was really nervous about putting myself out there like this, but I knew what I had accomplished with Raven alone was impressive and the others had made a lot of progress as well. I didn't even care if we placed in the competition; I just wanted the horses to perform the way I knew they could. The sponsors were holding a small exhibition type competition to allow the buyers in attendance a firsthand look at what stock was being offered and their performance level. This was going to be a great opportunity for me and the ranch. Laurent knew I would be so focused on ensuring everything was perfect that the training sessions would become more intense to make sure we were ready. In addition to this I had the wedding and the ranch didn't run itself, although thankfully Emmett handled the business part of the ranch for the most part. I had an MBA and Emmett and I really worked well together making business decisions, and although we didn't always see eye to eye we respected each other and were usually able to come to a compromise. Emmett knew that my heart was in the training and I stayed more in the background when it came to negotiating sales and dealing with prospective buyers.

My thoughts drifted back the camping trip planned for next weekend; the six of us together, overnight. Edward, overnight, sleeping just feet from me, I really had no idea what to do about that but we'd had this trip planned for months; we were all meeting up at the Cullen ranch at five am on Friday morning. We would ride out to our meadow from there, our little donkey Jack Jack would carrying the supplies we couldn't carry on our saddles individually.

We had happened upon the canyon meadow when we were all still in high school. It was a large meadow nestled in a canyon right next to the river; it was the perfect place to camp. There was great access to water, the ground was flat and covered in a thick green carpet of grass and wild flowers. It was peaceful in the little canyon meadow and we all seemed to need a small taste of peace, for different reasons, but we all needed the break. I just didn't know how I was going to spend two days with Edward without ripping into him, or vice versa, because he certainly had no problem letting me know how much he obviously disliked being in my presence. I just really couldn't figure out why, and that bothered me.

_Stop it Bella, it is not your concern. He's changed, let it be._

I sighed heavily, knowing that my inner voice was right and for once I needed to listen.

~*~

I pushed the button on the controller clipped to the visor, opening my garage door, and parked my Mustang Saleen S281, saying a silent prayer of thanks finally to be home. It had been a long ass couple of days and I was just so glad to be back in my tiny piece of heaven. My little house was the only place outside of the barn I ever felt at peace, and even though so many memories were held within these walls from my disaster of a marriage, Tyler had spent so little time here in the grand scheme of things that it really wasn't like he had even ever lived here. That fact made me smile, knowing that my home had not been sullied by his presence and his poison; I still was able to find peace here. I had allowed my mother to talk me into staying at the big house last night after we arrived at the ranch with Maverick. Although I loved my parents and missed them immensely when they weren't here, I could only take them in small doses. My mother just plain wore me out, she never _stopped_. And the emotions of having my parents here, bringing Maverick home and whatever the hell it was that had Edward being such an ass had just taken its toll, and I was exhausted.

Laurent and I had decided that he would take the first few days of caring for Maverick. He would stay in the bedroom which had been built onto the office a few years ago; it was only used when we had mares on foal watch. Staying there would make it easy for him to keep a really close eye on everything and freed me up for the responsibilities I had in regards to the wedding. I really did not want to give up the time I could be spending with Maverick but knew that Laurent was right; I needed to let him care for the foal for the next several days. As I thought of all the things that had to be done before the wedding it made my head spin, and I was afraid to admit to myself that many of the reasons it was spinning had nothing to do with Alice's wedding and _everything _to do with her brother.

_There you go again! Stop it!_

ARGH! I know, leave me alone already, I can't help it!

I so wanted to stop thinking about Edward and what his problem with me was, I just couldn't seem to make the thoughts stop. _Dammit!_ I was even dreaming about him again. I had not dreamt of Edward since high school and I really did not want to begin that nightly torture again. After he left me I had nightmares for months, then after a while the dreams seemed to morph into a crushing sadness; it would weigh on my subconscious and take my breath away until it woke me. The dreams I had now were neither nightmares nor the crushing sadness, they were just dreams…..he was always just _there._ He never spoke in my dream, he was just always there looking at me with that same hateful, confusing glare that he had held the last two times we had encountered one another. I couldn't figure it out, and I surely had not a damn clue as to why he seemed to be so angry with me. If anyone had reason to be angry it was me.

It was almost four thirty in the afternoon before I made my way to the shower. I had plans with Seth tonight. Though I was dog tired I _had _promised him to go out to dinner and drinks, with the possibility of a little dancing later tonight. We were actually going to be meeting Leah and Jake for dinner. Rose and Emmett were going to join us later for drinks and just hang out. Seth and the rest of his band were leaving a few days after the wedding to start recording their album. They had finalized all the contract mumbo jumbo with Arista and he was so excited about finally cutting a record he was like a kid on Christmas morning. Really Seth was a lot of fun to hang with and sometimes I really wished we had more than the really amazing friendship we had built. We were extremely attracted to one another; I mean really who _wouldn't_ be attracted to Seth? He was gorgeous! Though I was attracted to him there just wasn't anything more than me loving him as a brother, as a friend. We had discussed it and decided that we both felt the same way; we really didn't want to cross the line into anything more. We just enjoyed each other's company. Tonight would be fun, we would go to dinner where we would eat and drink and laugh until my sides hurt. Really the man was funny, add to that his sister who was absolutely the snarkiest woman I had ever known, but funny as hell, and there was no doubt that tonight would be fun. Jake, Leah's husband, was a nice guy, he was quiet and didn't say a lot when we were all together but he was always quick with a smile and he seemed to be head over heels in love with Leah. That was a beautiful thing to watch, a man who was just truly in love with their wife. I saw it growing up with my parents, and every time Emmett looked at Rosalie it was there, even when she was letting him have it for something stupid he had said or done. That look was always on Jasper's face when in Alice's presence, hell it was there any time he spoke her name. Tyler never looked at me that way, I knew that now but I couldn't, or rather _wouldn't_, see that before we were married.

_Yeah because _again_ you didn't listen!_

Shut the hell up already.

It's so very sad to not be able to turn that little voice of your conscience off at will because mine was becoming increasingly annoying.

Just as I was stepping out of the shower I heard my cell phone ringing. Grabbing my cotton robe off the back of the door I rushed out to the bedroom to make sure it wasn't Laurent. I was so nervous that something was going to happen and the foal wouldn't make it after all. That was one reason I had let my mother talk me into staying at the big house last night, even though Laurent was in the barn I just felt more comfortable being that much closer his first night home.

I looked at the ID as I picked the vibrating phone off the dresser and groaning as I read the number.

_Alice._

"What do you want Alice?" I grumbled into the phone, not greeting her at all. I knew whatever it was that she was calling me for would not be good, I was sure of it.

"What 'cha doin'?" she chirped into the phone. I could tell from her voice and how it seemed to quiver that she was bouncing on her toes.

"Alice, you know good and well that I'm getting ready to meet Seth in…."I checked the clock beside my bed, damn it was five fifteen, I had to hurry. "Shit, half an hour, so I need to get my ass in gear. Make whatever it is that you just _have_ to tell me quick," I replied as I made my way back to the bathroom to grab the brush. If I didn't get the mop of hair that was mine brushed out before it started drying I would never get the tangles out with the majority of my hair still attached to my head.

"Well, smartass, I was going to make sure that you were dressed the part for tonight?" What the hell was she talking about? I knew she was goading me into asking what her cryptic comment meant, so as much as I didn't want to I bit.

"What the hell does that even mean, Alice? Dressed for what part? I have no idea what you are talking about." I huffed a breath, because, seriously, the woman frustrated me to no end, I love her but she's just freakin' confusing sometimes.

_Must run in the family._

Oh, so now who's bringing up thoughts of Edward, hm?

"Oh well, the part of the caring girl-_friend_ who wants to make sure her man remembers his last few days in town before going off to god knows what adventures. But if you don't want my assistance," she sniffled, she actually _sniffled_ as though she were truly crying, "then I guess I'll go back to making the final batch of wedding favors." Alice feigned the distraught friend better than anyone I have ever met.

Alice was a sneaky bitch, but I also knew she was really busy trying to put the last touches on her wedding preparations. Alice and Esme had started a catering event planning business a few years ago and it had really taken off in the past year. Their company was doing the catering for the wedding and rehearsal dinners so Alice really was a wreck trying to coordinate every minute detail. The wedding was only two weeks away, but I knew Alice and Esme, and everything would be perfect. I also realized that as busy as Alice was she had taken the time to call and check up on me, making sure that her other passion, clothes and dressing everyone within a ten mile radius of her was something she used as a coping skill to alleviate the tension when she was really stressed.

"Okay, Alice. What did you have in mind for me to wear?" I gave over my control on dressing myself for my night out with Seth and let Alice explain her vision for what I should wear tonight. This wasn't our last night together, Seth would be attending the wedding with me, but he _was_ leaving the day after and would be gone for at least six weeks.

An hour later I was pulling up in front of Shenanigans. I had called Seth and explained I was on my way; between staying with my parents at the big house and then the phone call from the pixie I was half an hour late. I hated being late, it was just rude. Shenanigans was a local Irish pub slash bar and grill, it had a great atmosphere and I lost count of the number of TV's all tuned to different sporting events. The great thing about Shenanigans was that at ten o'clock they had a live band that played really great music, and a dance floor that was perfect for getting your groove on.

_Did you just say 'getting your groove on'? Really?_

Shut the hell up!

I opened my door and stood, still shaking my head at myself because I really was beginning to worry about all the dialogue going on inside my head. Honestly, that cannot be healthy.

I cursed Alice under my breath as I caught the heel of my shoe on the floor of my car and almost fell out of the car and onto the parking lot.

_Walk much Bella?_

I ignored that smartass voice, released my heel from its captor, I stood and tried to steady myself on these death traps Alice had made me swear I would wear. I couldn't believe I had let her talk me into this outfit! I mean, really, what the hell was I thinking?

I had wanted to be casual tonight and the outfit that Alice had me draw out of my closet was not my idea of casual, but in Alice's opinion it was. What did she call it? 'Sexy casual', whatever the hell that means. To me it was too revealing and, though it was comfortable, I really didn't have any idea why she wanted me to dress like this to have dinner with my friend, his sister and her husband. In addition to that Em and Rose would be joining us later as well. But because I'm a good friend and I knew how much Alice needed the distraction if only over the phone I relented, doing exactly what she instructed me to do and wore this outfit.

I really shouldn't complain, at least she had let me wear jeans; it could have been a skirt. Not that I'm opposed to wearing skirts. It's actually the opposite, I like dressing up in a nice skirt or dress on occasion but I just wasn't up to that tonight. I needed my jeans. They were a dark wash, almost black, but were distressed and worn along the thigh. Alice had called them 'pencil jeans'. They were fitted all the way to my ankle and sat low on my hips, which allowed for a sliver of my abdomen to show just above the waistband, because the white halter top that I was sporting was tight and only touched the top of my hip. I had to admit the top was comfortable even if I showed a bit more cleavage than I normally did, and there was a keyhole opening as the straps crisscrossed before tying at my neck. Topping off the ensemble were the infernal four inch heels that I had been roped into wearing, they were not comfortable. I had paid a boat load to have the, as Alice referred to them, 'perfect' Jimmy Choo addition to my sad collection of heels. I will admit they were beautiful; black satin peep toe with a gold buckle on the side. I guess they could be considered by some men as 'fuck me' heels. I don't really know what Alice was playing at having me wear them because I had no intention of _that_ happening tonight. She knew that Seth and I were friends, only friends, _not_ friends with benefits.

I made my way across the parking lot, earning a few cat calls and whistles from the drunken patrons exiting the bar. Just as I approached the door a very nice looking, older gentlemen stepped out. After looking me over appreciatively he stepped to the side, tipped his hat and held the door for me. Giving him a small smile, thanking him and stepping into the bar I immediately began scanning the restaurant section for any sign of Seth or his sister. He spotted me and stood, making his way to me, while smiling like the Cheshire cat. I started walking toward him, returning his smile. When we were close enough that I could hear what he was saying, he wrapped me in a tight hug and whispered in my ear.

"Are you trying to get me in a fight tonight, Bella?"

I laughed and slapped his shoulder stepping away from him.

"No, why would you say that?"

"Well, how the hell am I going to have dinner with you looking like that and not have to fight off the men who are going to be trying to get your attention?" He gestured with his hand up and down my body to emphasize his meaning.

"Oh my God, Seth! You are so ridiculous sometimes, I swear." I out right laughed, because he was being ridiculous, no one was going to be fighting to get close to me tonight.

"No, I'm not Bella. Babe, you are smokin' tonight. Are you trying to kill me with the shoes? I mean really, Bella, I thought we decided we were just friends? How the hell am I supposed to remember _that _when you are very much wearing fuck me shoes?" He had the most pained look on his face and it only made me laugh harder.

"Shut the hell up Seth, you're being completely ridiculous now. " I snorted and walked away from him; making my way to the table he had left when coming over to meet me. I felt his hand on the small of my back and smiled, it felt good to have a man feel protective of me, a man who was _not_ my brother or father. Though we were only friends Seth was protective in an almost possessive way, at times. Strange thing was, it didn't make me feel the way I thought it would; I had always been independent but after everything over the last year I guess I deep down wanted to be taken care of on some level.

~*~

Dinner was awesome and I swear I have not laughed that much in a long time….come to think of it, I really can't even remember the last time I laughed like this. Leah was hysterical and the banter that went back and forth between her and Jake was just unbelievably funny. He actually had a really dry sense of humor that just worked with her sarcasm, and I thought that if someone who had not been in their company before were to listen to the two of them you would really think they hated one another. That couldn't be further from the truth, however, that was just how they worked and when they stopped with the jabs at one another you could see they really cared about the other.

"Bella, lets dance!" Leah suddenly jumped up from her chair, grabbing my hand and pulling me onto the dance floor because obviously I had no choice what-so-ever.

Rose and Emmett should be here any minute and I was sure that once they arrived Rose would not let me sit the rest of the night. The woman was a dancing machine. She and Em didn't get out as much since having Garrett and I know they would never complain, because they truly loved being parents. It's just that I knew how much they always enjoyed going out and dancing until the wee hours of the night. I was really glad that my parents were in town so they would feel more comfortable leaving Garrett at home and they could come out tonight. I had babysat on a few occasions so they could have a date night but I was really glad that we could be out together tonight. This was going to be a great night, I could just feel it. And the camping trip? Well I would deal with Edward Cullen then. I would figure out some way to deal with his smartass comments and the evil look he had in his eye when he left the barn a few days ago, I actually felt my stomach twist a bit at the thought of seeing him again in a few days.

_Get over it._

I heard him before I saw him. My brother's booming voice was carrying throughout the entire establishment, which didn't surprise me, but still it embarrassed me that he could be so oblivious to those around him and be that loud. He called my name again and again until I finally caught his eye, waving to him so he would shut up and come over to where Leah and I were dancing.

"What the hell Emmet? Do you not realize how loud you are?" I tried to put a stern look on my face but as I watched him dancing in a way that should not be possible for a man of his size, I couldn't hold the giggles in and I laughed out loud. He truly was an idiot, but I loved him.

"Bella! Damn you look…..HOT!" Rose grabbed me by the upper arms, holding me at arm's length so she could inspect my ensemble. Releasing a long whistle she uttered one word, "Alice."

"Alice," I replied, and that one word said it all. We both knew who was responsible for this look and nothing more was needed.

We danced for a few more songs, Seth and Jake eventually joining us on the floor as well. Seth was an amazing dancer and it was nice to dance with someone who was so graceful but powerful at the same time. Even though our friendship would not progress into anything more, we both knew that was not what we wanted, there was on occasion a great deal of sexual tension between us. I mean really, I'm a woman and he's a man after all, and grinding up on one another on the dance floor isn't exactly a way to _not_ lead to other things.

We had just finished dancing to a particular sexy song when he whispered in my ear that he was going to get a drink. I asked him to bring me back a martini, dry, and he released me from his embrace, placing a gentle kiss on top of my head. My back had been to him but I didn't turn to watch him leave the dance floor, instead continuing to sway to the music, just letting it take over my body. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to have that martini after all, I would definitely _not _be driving home tonight. It was just as I made that realization that I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around my waist and a hard body press up against my back. My eyes were closed, but I assumed it was Seth returning with our drinks and I ran my hands behind me up to his neck, tangling in his hair.

_Wait!_

That was not Seth's hair, it was much shorter but yet not actually short. This body pressed against me was familiar but was not Seth's. All these realizations hit me in the split second before I heard that deep velvety voice that had haunted my dreams whisper in my ear.

"I'm sorry, Isabella." The voice paused for only a second to place a gentle kiss just below my ear before continuing, "You look beautiful tonight."

I froze stock still. I couldn't move, I couldn't even breathe, and by the time conscious thought returned to me and I turned toward the voice, and into those arms they were both gone. All I saw was a blur of bronze hair going out the front door of the pub.

* * *

**A/N:**

**So yeah, he apologized and before the pitchforks and torches come out EPOV will be next chapter and there will be more explanation of his actions. Thanks again to everyone for reading. So now, hit that little green button and leave me some love. Let me know what you think.**

**I'll be posting a playlist for the story on my profile page soon. Check it out. **

**In the last chapter A/N I posted the link for The Little Known Ficster and I messed it up so I'm posting in on my profile page. Check it out they post reccomendations for stories that are must reads every week. **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: standard disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight, it all belongs to SM. Damn her wonderfulness! I wish I owned Edward but alas...I do not. **

**Thanks of course to my wonderful friend/ beta Stavanger1. She's awesomesauce. To Jessica1971 thank you so much to my long lost long winded twin....your the best. **

**Okay, so here's the next installment it's a long one. Sorry about that to all those who don't like the longer chapters, there just really was no way to break this chapter up into two shorter chapters. The camping trip begins in this chapter and will finish in Chapter 7. So okay sorry for the long A/N. Mood music for the chapter- Dying ain't much of a livin' by Bon Jovi, Broken by Seether (feat. Amy Lee)**

**Enjoy!**

**

* * *

  
**

Ch 6

BPOV

I stood frozen in the middle of the dance floor, trembling from the intensity of emotions coursing through my body. My eyes met with Rosalie's murderous glare and I knew in that instant she had seen the interaction. It had really happened, it wasn't a dream. Edward really _had_ been here, and he really had danced with me. I felt the heat course through my entire being at this realization. My mind may have forgotten what it was like back _then,_ but, my body had not; it had never forgotten, it had been left wanton. Desperately desiring the feel of Edward's body pressed against it once again, my body remembered, painfully so, how good it felt to be held in those arms.

I couldn't breathe, my mind was reeling, and my body was on fire. Every nerve ending felt as though it wereas raw with need. Rosalie mouthed _"you okay"_ just as Seth returned with my drink. I slowly shook my head while, thanking Seth, never breaking eye contact with Rose. I quickly downed the martini.

"I need shots, lots of shots."

~*~

I had not seen Edward since that night at the bar and I had done everything possible _not _to think about him. Between the training sessions with Raven, working with Laurent in caring for Maverick, and helping Alice with the final wedding preparations, there was certainly plenty to keep me busy. But…. the thoughts of _him_ still managed to creep into my mind at the worst possible times. Actually, it was kind of weird that I hadn't seen him considering all the time I had spent with Alice this week. Come to think of it…..that was really weird. Why hadn't I seen him all week? Was he avoiding me?

"Shit!" I yelled as I made yet another mistake while running through a warm-up session with Raven, causing him to make a sharper than expected turn and thus resulting in me losing my seat.

Charlie had been watching and just shook his head with a grin as I dusted myself off and climbed back in the saddle.

"A little distracted, baby girl?"

I gave him a curt nod, gathered up the reins and turned my attention to the task at hand, trying to focus on what I was doing and _not_ on Edward Cullen.

Raven had thrown me more times this week than I cared to count, and it had been completely my fault every single time. _His_ voice whispering in my ear would come to me, almost as if he was actually there, and I would jump in response. When you're sitting astride a nervous thousand pound animal, sudden moves in the saddle are not a good idea in _usual_ circumstances, but when you're in the middle of giving a leg cue and said cue is delivered more forcefully than need be, well….you eat dirt.

This week seemed to fly by and before I knew it, Friday had arrived., Tthe day we were leaving for our overnight trip. I was so completely confused by Edward's actions, or better yet non-actions, that I didn't know which end was up. My head was literally spinning with the confusion, but my body? My body was relishing the feeling of him pressed against it.

How was I going to get through the next two days?

_Stop it, Bella!_

Sighing on a heavy breath, I knew I had to get a hold on myself. I was never going to make it through this trip, much less the wedding next week, if I couldn't control my emotions.

**EPOV**

We were only at the bar for a couple of hours just playing pool and hanging out when a flash of mahogany glimmering in my peripheral vision caught my attention. I turned toward the sight and was completely blown away with what met my , on the dance floor, was _my_ Bella.

As I watched, I noticed she wasn't alone; Rose and a Native American woman were dancing with her. I had never met the raven haired beauty dancing with Bella but obviously they were friends, bumping and grinding on one another as they laughed. I suddenly felt a swift kick to the back of the leg, bringing me back from my ogling.

"Damn son, what's caught your attention out there? I thought we were playing pool, not ogling the ladies," Jasper laughed, having not seen the goddess that is Bella, dancing, and torturing me with the movement of her hips.

I stifled a groan as my eyes drifted over her body and took in the whole package; the white halter top, the dark washed jeans, and _Oh my god_ those shoes! Bella was wearing _fuck me_ pumps, dear lord those would be starring in my dreams tonight.

Jasper must have followed my mesmerized gaze as I heard him huff. I turned to look at him and he was shaking his head.

"What?" I asked. For some reason his attitude at this situation pissed me off.

"Hey, don't get pissy with me, bitch. You're the one who fucked that up," Jasper reminded as he prepared to make his next shot.

Well hell, now what do I say to _that_?

There was nothing I _could _say, he was completely right. I had fucked up with Bella, in monumental ways.

I watched as she danced and laughed with Rosalie and the other woman I didn't know. I couldn't believe how sensual she was out there. Bella was always sexy to me but this.... this was _torture_. Bella was the most beautiful woman I had ever known and the things her movements on that dance floor were doing to my body should have been illegal. I needed to be near her. I had almost made the decision to move toward her when I noticed a man who I was sure was Seth, along with Emmett and another Native American man, moving toward the three women. Bella smiled at Seth and my heart broke a little more.

The irony of the fact that I was watching her with yet another man, that I yet again waited too long to tell her how I truly felt for her, was not lost on me. I was mesmerized by her every move, even though she was dancing with another man. The way she molded herself around him made me ache with the longing for that to be my body she was pressing herself into, to feel the softness of her curves as her ass pressed into my groin moving together to the rhythm of the music. I bit the inside of my cheek to suppress thea groan that threatened to escape as that particular fantasy played out in my mind.

As I watched, like some kind of sick voyeur, I couldn't help but envy the man who held her tonight. I had pushed her away, even now when I might have been granted a second chance. Instead of being a civil human being I had been a complete dick. There was no way she would forgive me for my latest transgressions, much less the lie I had concocted so many years ago. How could I have truly made that woman believe I didn't love her? Didn't want her? There was nothing that could be further from the truth than what I told her that day; when I broke both of our hearts. I watched from my perch on a stool next to the pool table Jasper and I occupied for the last hour and a half as Bella laughed and continued to work her magic spell over my body. I turned up my beer and drained the remnants of the bottle.

"You gonna play or you just gonna sit there and stew about your woman out there on the floor with another man?" Jasper kicked the cue that I using to prop myself on, causing me to fall forward off the barstool.

I glared at my soon-to-be brother-in-law and stood, making my way to the table to decide on my next shot. Usually Jasper and I were pretty evenly matched but tonight I was too distracted by the vixen on the dance floor.

I set up to take the only shot that was open to me. It should have been cake but as per usual for the night, I shot wide and totally missed.

"Damn, son! You suck tonight," Jasper laughed and took up his position to sink the final ball to win this round.

I placed myself right in line for the show that continued on the dance floor, watching the sultry kitten that held my heart in her hand, the amazing woman who was totally unaware of how beautiful she truly was.

"You ready to go man?" Jasper questioned, giving me a sympathetic smile while clasping my shoulder.

"Yeah, I guess so." I turned my bottle up one last time and joined Jasper to leave.

It was my intention to walk out of that pub without Bella ever being the wiser to the fact that I was anywhere in the area. As we made our way toward the door, I noticed that the girls were on the floor alone again and it was as though my body was drawn to Bella. I couldn't stop as I made my way through the bodies separating me from Bella.

"Edward!" I heard Jasper call to me but I couldn't stop, I _had _to go to her. There was no possible way for me to walk out that door without touching her, if even for just a moment.

After the things I said, and the way I treated her since returning home, I knew I had no right. But I still I pressed my body to hers, wrapping my arms around her tiny waist. I inhaled the scent of her hair.

_Oh God! _

It was wrong. I had no right to hold her that way, but I couldn't bring myself to care in that moment. Then she ran her hands up into the hair at the nape of my neck and it was almost my undoing. I bit the inside of my cheek to not groan in the pure ecstasy of that feeling. I had fantasized about moments like this for years, knowing that it would never be possible again. But here, now, it felt so _right_. For the first time in years, I felt….whole.

I needed to tell her in some way how much I regretted all the ways I hurt her. I wanted to tell her how much I longed to hold her just like this for the rest of our lives. But none of those things would change the fact that, for tonight, she was with another man, _again_. And I couldn't place a claim I didn't deserve on her. I would not come between her and her happiness if this man was someone who made her happy, but in this moment I just needed her to know that I was sorry. Sorry for more things than just the way in which I behaved recently.

"I'm sorry, Isabella," I whispered in her ear. Then I placed a soft kiss just below her ear, remembering that as a place she particularly liked to be kissed. "You look beautiful tonight."

I released her and practically ran off the dance floor. I couldn't stay there one more second; it just hurt too much to know that I had created this whole mess and not know how to fix it.

"What the hell was _that_, Edward? Do you have a death wish or something, son? Because I can damn sure promise you that after that little performance Alice is going to skin you alive." Jasper looked at me in total exasperation as soon as I stepped out of the pub.

Shaking my head, I groaned in frustration and threw myself into Jasper's truck.

"No Jasper, I don't have a death wish." I threw my arm over my eyes; releasing the breath I had been holding in an attempt to calm my nerves. "I'm just a fucking asshole. Fact is I'm the biggest damn coward to ever walk the face of the Earth. "

_God! How the hell did you make such a mess of things?_

I had totally screwed myself, again, out of any chance of ever making things right between Bella and I. I mean, why would she give me a chance at saying what I needed to tell her when I couldn't even find it within myself to give her a proper apology?

_No, you asshole, you can only tell her when she has no fucking idea that it's you!_

I ran my hands through my hair and pulled the ends, completely exhausted with the frustration. I felt completely….lost.

"Edward?" Japer began, hesitantly.

I rolled my head on the seat so I was looking across the cab of the truck and directly at him.

I waited for his all-knowing self to spew whatever Dalai Llama shit I'm sure he had, to enlighten me on how fucking stupid I had been, yet again.

"Man, I really don't want to get in your business, but….what the hell is wrong with you?" Japer cast a sidelong glance in my direction.

I realized that my expression must be one of complete confusion; what was he talking about?

"Jasper, I have no idea what you're talking about." I had no patience for his convoluted speeches tonight.I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. I just completely obliterated my hopes of making Bella understand how sorry I was for speaking to her in the way I had at that fated dinner. Not to mention our confrontation a few days later. She deserved a real apology and I just made it clear that I didn't think she was worthy of one.

I opened my eyes to meet his crystal blue stare, and, I was surprised to see sadness in his gaze. Was that for me? Why would Jasper feel sad for _me_?

He shook his head and replied. "Yeah, I think you do, but if you're not going to look at the real problem then I don't know what to say. I _will _say this, though. Whatever the hell it is that has made you who you are right now, if you don't deal with it, this problem with Bella is only going to get worse, and she doesn't deserve that. She's had enough shit to deal with, and you….you acting this way is only making things harder for her."

I knew he was right, at least about the way I had been acting towards Bella only making things worse for her. As far as what she dealt with? Well she had gone through a divorce, so that had to be hard even if it was a bad marriage to start with. But something about Jasper's words hinted at something much deeper.

~*~

I'd hardly slept; I couldn't get the images of Bella on that dance floor out of my mind. The way her body pressed against mine…..I felt how good it was to have her in my arms once again. How would I _ever_ make things right with her?

_God, Cullen. You know she thought she was dancing with him, she was_ _not responding to you that way. It was him, not you, that she pressed herself against._

Groaning, I rolled out of bed and padded to the bathroom. Turning the shower on, I undressed and stepped into the steaming water. The scalding water soothed me and relaxed my tight muscles. And I stood under the beating stream until the water began to run cold. As soon as I stepped out of the shower the tension returned to my body.

I dressed and made my way to the one place I hoped to find some peace, yet I couldn't stop my mind from returning to the debacle of the prior night.

Why could I not just man up and apologize like I wanted to? I just didn't understand what happensed to me when I'm in that woman's presence. I'd become a complete bumbling idiot; the words that actually came out of my mouth being ones that only cut her deeper.

I ran my hand through my hair, growling in frustration. Jasper had conned me into going out last night; I finally relented mostly due to the fact that Alice had basically kicked me out of the house.

I shook my head at the memory of her prodding me to get out of the house. I had a suspicion now that she had an ulterior motive and had forced Jasper to get me out of the house. For some reason I couldn't quiet quite put my finger on, I think the meddling fairy knew Bella would be at Shenanigan's last night. And why on Earth she'd would want me to see Bella while she was on a date with another man I have no answer for. Did she not realize the jealousy I felt every time I was near her with another man burned my very soul? Really, I had to get a handle on that. I had no claim to her and I really didn't deserve to have one.

Especially after the way I had treated her since coming home. UGH! I pinched the bridge of my nose as I sat down on the piano bench, trying to dispel the memory of her body pressed against mine.

And now, how was I going to make all of this right? I mean, if she wasn't pissed off at me for the asshole comments at dinner, or the way I treated her when I saw her a few days later, then she was certainly pissed after my actions last night.

I could only imagine how much fun the camping trip this weekend was going to be. There was no way Bella would want to be anywhere within a ten mile radius of me, and I couldn't blame her.

I stretched my fingers and placed them on the keys reverently. I hadn't played in so long that I really didn't know if the music would come to me, but as I began playing the first chords of Beethoven's Midnight Sonata the haunting music returned as if I never stopped playing. The song reminded me so much of my feelings for Bella; she haunted me with her memory. Visions of her had haunted me since the day she walked out of my life, except I was the one that told her to go. And now that she was again right in front of me, I couldn't even bring myself to be civil with her and I really couldn't understand why.

I had been so unhappy with everything in my life for so long; I didn't even know where to _begin_ to try to sort it all out. I sighed heavily as the realization of how homesick I really had become washed over me. The one decision I made in leaving Bella was instrumental in setting my life on a course to almost complete self-destruction. Workaholic did not even begin to encompass how I had thrown myself into building the career I thought I wanted. And I did want it, it just wasn't worth the cost.

It was at the moment I was beginning to make these realizations I felt my mother's hands lay gently upon my shoulders.

"I love it when you play, Edward," Esme lamented. This woman, who was not my biological mother but had been my mother since I was eleven years old.

"It's been so long child since your music filled this house, it warms my heart," she continued as she sat down on the sofa in the corner of the room.

"Darling, I don't want to press you when you're not ready…" she hesitated, and I knew that she had not ventured into the room to only listen to my music. "But you seem so sad, and I know it's really not my business, your a grown man. But the way you spoke to Bella at dinner, that's just not you. Are you okay, Edward?"

I stopped playing and took a deep breath. How do I even start to explain what was happening with me? I really didn't understand why I was being such an ass to Bella, why I pulled away from all of my family over the years. Well, I did understand why I stayed away; I walked away from more than just Bella that day. I left everything that was precious to me, I pulled away from everyone in my misguided attempt to protect myself from the pain of losing Bella.

I looked my mother in the eye and shook my head, not even one bit sure if I wanted to talk about this, but knowing that she might be the only person that could help me sort out the mess my life had become.

"Edward, come here." She gestured for me to sit next to her on the sofa.

I stood up and, taking a stuttered breath, ran my hand through my hair again. _I swear I'm going to go prematurely bald if I don't stop that habit._ Taking a seat next to her on the sofa, she took my hand in hers.

"So, you've talked with Bella?" Esme had a way of asking really direct questions without actually being direct. She knew I had talked with Bella on more than one occasion and it had not gone well. Hell, she was witness to one of my performances.

I took yet another breath, let it out in a long sigh, and attempted to explain my convoluted reasoning for being such a dick since coming home. I looked at this woman, my mother, the woman who took me in when I was so lost and become as much a mother to me as her sister had been. I loved her dearly. So….I let it all out. I had to tell _someone_ and I knew this was the right time, the right person.

"God, I have made such a mess out of my life. I thought I knew what I wanted….I did. I wanted exactly what I got. I wanted to be a vet; I went after obtaining that goal with complete devotion. I made choices to get me where I am in my career, but…every other part of my life…." I paused, and as I met Esme's sympathetic gaze I saw a fleeting glimmer of the pain I caused her in pulling away from my family. In my selfish need to protect myself, to guard my heart from the devastating consequences of the decision to remove Bella from my life, I had I'd set myself on a path of destroying the only other good thing in my life…my family. I had pulled away from everyone who was ever important in my life. I made excuses that I was busy, that school and the program just took so much of my time. Then after graduating I took the position at UGA in the Equine Reproductive research department, and it provided yet another perfect way of avoiding anything and everything related to Bella.

I stood as I huffed out a breath, scrubbing my hands over my face and growling in frustration at my idiocy over the last several years. I couldn't look at Esme, I didn't want to see that look in her eyes, even if it was only briefly. The pain, the disappointment I brought to her and that I could see there in her face, it was too hard to witness. I paced around the room, trying to rid myself of the completely overwhelming sense of loneliness I had felt for so long, realizing just how much of a mess I had made of my life. I had the career, but really, what else was there in my life? Women? They were a dime a dozen. There was only one woman I cared anything for and I had no way of knowing if I could ever make things right with her. My family? I had pushed them so far away that I didn't know if I could ever rebuild the bridges to what they were before.

"Edward?" Esme called. I grunted a response without looking in her direction, but Esme would not take that as an answer, calling my name again.

"Edward," she called more firmly. There was no questioning her, so, I turned to meet her eyes. She patted the cushion next to her on the sofa once more. "Honey, come sit by me, please."

Against my better judgment I dragged my ass across the room and sat down again.

"I know that you are you're hurting right now. I also know that you blame yourself for what has occurred in the last few years, and to be honest with you, much of where you are, what you've become….well, son…. it is your fault." Well that was the last thing I expected to hear and I am sure that the shock registered on my face. "I'm sorry, Edward. I know that wasn't exactly what you wanted to hear, and believe me that is not something a mother wants to tell her child, but hear me out son. Edward, you're a good man. But you over think everything. You have let your head rule your heart and it's got you nothing but trouble."

I knew in my heart that she was right. I had used my head to make decisions that had broken my heart; I had allowed my head to tell me it was the right thing to let Bella go. I had listened to my head and not my heart when I had I'd pushed my family away, staying away from everyone and immersing myself in my work because that would "make me happy".

"Why didn't anyone tell me about Bella's divorce? " I questioned. The reasoning behind the secrets about Bella were pretty obvious. I had not asked, but…. I would have thought my family would understand that I would have wanted to know something like that.

Esme smiled a sad smile and shook her head "Honey, Bella has been through a lot over the last year, much more than just the divorce. And I don't want to hurt you anymore by what I'm going to tell you, but darlin' you made it pretty clear to all of us you were not interested in speaking or hearing about anything even remotely connected to Bella." I winced at the truth in her words.

"Edward, I'm so sorry to lay that out on the table for you, but honey you made this bed and you have to lay in it. I just hope you can figure out what needs to be done and put things right with Bella." Esme looked at me with that mother's smile, the one that they all have as if they hold the key to unlock all the secrets of the world. She cupped my cheek in her hand, placing a kiss on my forehead before standing and giving one more knowing look before leaving me stewing over her words.

What _was _the the real issue here? Why had I made such a mess of my life? I had gone after a career I wanted with every part of my being, I had made a name for myself within that world. So why was it all nothing to me? Why did I feel so lost?

_I think you already know the answer to those questions._

I groaned in frustration at my own stupidity, as I made the realization that there was more playing here than what appeared on the surface. My issues ran much deeper than whatever was going on between Bella and I. Though that was a large part of my despair, it was only one part. As I sat in the music room, I made a monumental realization. An epiphany, if you will.

Home.

I've been homesick for so long and had not even realized it. I am such a stubborn bastard that I couldn't even see I just needed to come home. I put so much distance between myself and my family, trying to rid myself of any reminder of the mistakes I had made with Bella, that I had left behind every single thing in my life that made me happy, that made me who I am.

Home, Texas, my family….these were the things that made me happy.

_Bella._

Even at the thought of her name my heart clenched in my chest. She was my home. Bella grounded me, she kept me on the right track and I had thrown that away. Home. This is where I belonged even if I couldn't correct my mistakes with Bella right now…. this is where I belonged. All the decisions I made in the last several years in my misguided attempt at protecting my heart from the pain of letting Bella go, of lying to her in telling her we had been a mistake, had only succeeded in breaking my heart more completely. By trying to run from my mistakes with Bella, I had created a chasm between myself and my family that I would need to traverse; I knew in this moment what I needed to do to begin the road back to _me_. I had a phone call to make.

~*~

I stretched and finally found my phone on the nightstand, slapping at it and trying to wake enough to cut the damn thing off. _God!_ Whose idea was this again to get up at this ungodly hour? Oh, yes I remember, that evil little woman that I for some reason continue to claim as my sister. I love my sister, but really, really no human should have to rise this early in the morning, especially when they're supposed to be on vacation. I looked at the clock on my phone, checking the time.

_Holy hell, four thirty, you have _got_ to be kidding me!_

I groaned and rolled over, pulling the comforter back over my head, hoping against all hope that the little wench would not come in my room for at least another hour. Luck would not be on my side today.

_For the love of all that is holy!_

"Edward!" I heard the all too excited for this early in the morning voice of my sister, followed by a knock on the door that could wake the dead.

"Edward! Get up! Rose, Emmett, and Bella will be here in fifteen minutes and you haven't even gotten your lazy ass out of the bed!" Alice was a whirlwind on a bad day, but today she seemed to be in rare form, as I swear she was going to take the door off the hinges with the knocking.

"Edward, I swear, if you don't get up I'm coming in there, and I can promise you, you will not like it if I come in that room."

I threw the covers off my body as I jumped out of bed and jerked the door of my room open before she had even finished her last sentence. I glared at her and, as per usual, she was not impressed.

"Good morning, brother dear." She had the audacity to smirk at me.

"Dammit Alice, I'm up. Okay. Satisfied?" I was never been a morning person, and waking before the chickens was not a favorite activity of mine.

"Completely! Although you had very little to do with that, but I'm glad you're finally awake," Alice remarked as she turned on her heel and made her way back down the stairs. "There's coffee and I made some breakfast if you think you can possibly force yourself to get dressed and join the rest of the world."

'The rest of the world' hell, nobody got up this early in the morning. Not any sane person that I know, and they sure as shit were not as perky as that woman. I hope to God Jasper realizes what he is getting into with marrying that one.

I showered and dressed in a worn pair of Cinch jeans. With t-shirt in hand, I made my way into the kitchen, hoping to get some caffeine in my body before the others arrived. As I crossed the threshold I stopped dead, my eyes locked on the most beautiful sight. There, sitting at the kitchen counter, mug in hand, was _my_ Bella. She was a vision, an angel in cowboy boots. Her long hair hung in soft curls down her back. I could see a sliver of pale, creamy skin peeking just above the waistband of her jeans at the small of her back as she rested her arms on the counter. I could feel my body respond and had to adjust myself before I could take another step into the room. I caught a look from Jasper and glared back; I knew he felt some type of protective thing for Bella, but what the hell was I supposed to do about it? I mean really, it wasn't like I could control that shit. She was like an oasis in the desert and I couldn't help but drink in her beauty.

It was at the moment she turned on her stool, our eyes locked and her wide eyed stare reminded me that I was still shirtless. She opened her mouth to speak and quickly closed it, turning away.

"When the hell did you get that tat, man?" Emmett's question brought me out of my stupor.

I looked down at my chest and remembered that they had no reason to see the result of a drunken night and the loss of all coherent thought after a keg party with some of my fraternity brothers.

I had let my brothers coerce me into joining them in getting the tattoo of a tiger head on my chest. Between celebrating the end of the semester and studying for finals, we had not slept for literally forty eight hours. Rational thought had gone out the window on hour thirty for myself and I decided that the sound of getting our school mascot tattooed on the left side of my chest was a brilliant idea. So we made our way to the local tattoo parlor, paid our money, and gotten inked for life.

"Oh…." I looked down at my chest once again. "Well….that's kind of a funny story. Just suffice it to say that two days without sleep, the end of a hellacious semester, and fraternity brothers aren't always a good combination for rational thought," I answered with a smirk as I slipped my t-shirt over my head.

"Well that is a sweet ass tatt. Rose, seriously I want to get one," Emmett commented, wrapping one of his huge arms over Rosalie's shoulders.  
"Uh…yeah I don't think so big boy," Rose laughed, slapping his chest with her hand.

I made my way to the cabinet, grabbed a mug, and poured myself a cup of coffee. I leaned against the counter contemplating the fact that Bella had not looked up from her coffee cup since I walked in the room. This was going to be a long trip. If she couldn't look at me, how were we going to get through the next two days?

How would I ever begin to bridge the gap between her and I? I made a lot of realizations yesterday after talking with Esme. Even though I really didn't like what she'd had to say at times, it made me look at more than just what a mess I had created with Bella,; to realize that it ran deeper than that and to make new decisions that would hopefully put me on the right path again.

I had finally made a decision that would bring me back to my family, back home where I belonged. I didn't know what I was going to do about Bella and I. There really wasn't a Bella and I, not anymore, but if I could get my head on straight then maybe once I was home again for good I could make her understand how wrong I had been in leaving her. I had a lot of ground to cover with not only Bella but my family, as well. I knew that I had to start somewhere and the phone call I made earlier this week was my first step in the right direction.

~*~

I made my way to the barn with my guitar over my shoulder. I had strict instructions from Alice that I was to bring it along for this trip so I had gone back up to my room to retrieve it while the others went to get the horses ready.

As I stepped into the barn I heard one of my favorite sounds in the world Bella's laugh.

"Oh my God! Emmett you are such a dumbass," she croaked out.

"I am not!" Emmett defended himself with mock horror at Bella's accusation, but I could see the smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

"What's so funny?" I questioned as I joined the group, making my presence known.

"Em is just being Em," Rose answered but she didn't return my smile, looking at me as though she had much more she wanted to say to me.

_Uh oh! She saw my little performance the other night._

It did not escape my notice that Bella had stopped laughing as soon as I spoke and had walked away from the others to the tack room. Jasper was walking out with saddle in hand, Bella following just behind with a pad and bridle. Jasper already had two of the horses we would be riding saddled up and ready to go. I propped my guitar case along the wall, calling to Jasper.

"Hey, I can do that. If I'm going to ride, I might as well saddle up my own horse," taking the saddle and smiling at Bella.

She returned it with a small half smile but quickly looked away from my gaze. She didn't say a word to me, just placed the blanket pad on the horses back and stepped out of the way so I could throw the saddle on top.

The horse I would be riding was a gorgeous black and white paint Gelding. Carlisle and Esme had given Chief to me when I graduated high school. It was strange but I didn't realize until that moment how much I actually missed him, missed riding as well as just being in a barn. This was a place that I always felt at peace, much the same as the music room always soothed me.

I cast a side long glance at Bella, noticing she stood near me but too far away at the same time, as I tied off the cinch, ensuring it was snug but not too tight. I huffed a laugh that I remembered how to do this; it had been a long time since I had tacked up a horse.

"What?" I turned to look at Bella with a stupid smile on my face when I heard her giggle.

"Nothing, I…I just…it's been a long time since you've probably done that. I didn't know if you'd remember how."

"It's not been _that_ long since I've been on a horse, Bella." I snapped. _Shit! _That came out completely the wrong way. Why in the hell could I not say more than two words to this woman without being a smartass? The same thought just occurred to me, why did I bite her head off for voicing it?

I saw the smile she had held for me fall as she quickly dropped her gaze from mine.

"Bella, I'm sorry. That came-"

"Save it. It's fine. Here." Bella cut me off, holding out the hand which held my bridle then walking away without looking at me.

_God! What the hell is wrong with you?_

I dropped my chin to my chest and sighed at how, yet again, I am amazingly inept in my interactions with Bella. I could only be happy at the moment that the others had already moved outside the barn and did not witness that little gem of asshattery. Grabbing my guitar case, I made my way outside to join everyone else. The sun was just peeking over the horizon as I stepped out of the barn.

"You finally ready, pokey?" Alice questioned as I led Chief to where they all waited. Bella was already in the saddle on a beautiful grey and white paint. She was holding onto the lead for the donkey; I guess she was going to be in control of the pack animal for today.

"Yeah, I'm ready," I replied, securing the guitar to the pack's on the little donkey and trying to catch Bella's eye but she refused to look at me. I really couldn't blame her so I just shook my head and climbed into the saddle. This was going to be a long trip, especially if I couldn't keep my smartass mouth shut and talk to her in the way she deserved. I placed my hat on my head and settled in the seat, readying myself for the long day ahead. I needed to figure out some way to talk with Bella alone. I wanted to say so many things to her; the least of which was giving her a proper apology for my behavior recently.....

We had been on horseback for about five hours before Bella attempted to speak to me again.

"It's nice to see you so relaxed, Edward. I haven't seen that in a really long time." She smiled a small smile that did not reach her eyes.

Her eyes had always been so expressive of her emotions and I had not noticed until that moment how much sadness they seemed to hold.

_Of course you haven't noticed. You haven't taken time out of being an asshole to her to notice much of anything._

I stifled a groan at the reality of that statement. Looking her in the eye, I returned hers with a genuine smile.

"You know what, it's been a long time since I've felt this relaxed. I think this little camping trip was a brilliant idea. I'm glad that Alice and Jasper wanted to do this."

She lowered her gaze to the ground.

"I'm glad you're here, too, Bella. I….I'm-" I was cut off by the loud shouts of Emmett and Jasper as they dismounted and made their way to the river. Those two idiots jumped in the r fully clothed, splashing around like little kids.

_I swear those two share the same brain. _

Bella laughed her lilting laugh and shook her head at the antics of her brother and Jasper.

I hadn't realized we were so close to the meadow and the moment had passed before I was able to say anything more.

Emmett, Jasper, and I made quick work of setting up camp and unsaddling the horses, while the girls took care of the bags from the saddles and the little donkey's packs. I made myself useful in assembling the tent, which the girls would be using, as the three of us would be sleeping out under the stars.

Jasper went to work on preparing a fire pit, digging out a hole and surrounding it with rocks from the river bank. Emmett made sure the horses each took a trip to the river for a drink, then placing hobbles on each one to make sure they didn't run off but could roam around the meadow to graze.

"So," my sister called every one's attention. "Who's ready for a swim before lunch?" Alice was bouncing on the balls of her feet like a pogo stick. I just shook my head and chuckled, she really was pretty funny at times, and she hadn't changed a bit since we were kids. Alice was always so full of life, and even though she was incessantly annoying I loved her dearly. I had another epiphany at that moment; I had not made it clear to Alice how much she really meant to me, how much I really loved her, as well. I vowed to change that right then and there.

I threw an arm over her tiny shoulders and bent to kiss her on the cheek.

"That sounds like a great idea, pipsqueak," I smirked at her. She slapped my chest and laughed, wiggling out of my grasp.

"You're an ass, Edward. I love you, but don't call me pipsqueak!"

Laughing at her hands-on-hips stance, I made my way to retrieve the swimming trunks I had packed in my saddle bags.

"Oh, I am up for that!" Emmett replied, slapping his huge hands together and rubbing them excitedly.

"Bella? You're going swimming, right?" Rose questioned. I couldn't understand the look that crossed Bella's face at the mention of going swimming. She always loved swimming in the river and this time of year was the best. The water was always cold, but the sun was so hot and we'd had a long ride out to the meadow. Swimming would feel great.

We each took turns inside the tent changing into our swimsuits. By the time Bella had changed and joined us, everyone had been swimming for a while. Rose and Alice already on the river bank soaking up the sun on a large beach blanket. I was just taking another trip on the rope swing when I noticed her hesitantly join the girls. She wore a red, white and blue stripped bikini top with a pair of cut off shorts. She was so beautiful it hurt to look at her. The thought of not touching her, of not letting her know how I truly felt, was actually painful;, but I was unsure of her relationship with this Seth. Jasper had assured me they were just friends, but I had seen them on the dance floor. It looked like more than that was going on between them.

"Hey! You gonna swing or you gonna keep ogling my sister?" Emmett barked, giving me a look that was both a warning and an acknowledgement that he knew something was different between Bella and me.

"Shut up! I'm going already," I laughed, trying to make light of getting caught basically drooling over Bella in that bikini top, hoping the problem I was having in my swim trunks would escape his notice.

I made my way back to the shore and decided to have a seat with the girls. I shook my head, raining water droplets everywhere as soon as I was close enough to ensure it hit all three of them.

"AYYYY!"

"Oh my God!"

"Shit!"

I chuckled at their response and flopped down near Bella on the blanket, causing her to promptly slap me in the back of the head.

"Ow! That hurt." I rubbed the back of my head and gave her a wounded look.

She giggled, shaking her head.

"Good. I meant for it too." She smiled at me again, and I noticed that the sadness was still there in her eyes though she tried to hide it behind the smile.

"Oh, did you now?" I quirked an eyebrow and smirked at her playfully.

"Yes, I did. That damn water is cold, and that was just mean," she admonished, but I could tell she was teasing me as much as I was teasing her. Something about that banter, the easy way we always had of teasing one another, caused me to snap and I couldn't control my actions in the next moment no matter how much I might have tried.

I gave Bella a warning look.

"So….the water's cold, is it?" I shifted onto my knees, kneeling dangerously close to her.

"Yes, it is. What…what are you doing Edward?" She suddenly realized my proximity to her and her eyes widened. I noticed her breathing hitched just a little.

_Hmmm….maybe I _do _still have an effect on her._

"Whatever do you mean, Miss Bella?" I asked as I inched infinitely closer to her.

"Don't you dare….Edward Cullen…I swear," she stammered as she tried to crawl backwards away from me, but I lunged at her before she could escape.

Scooping her up in my arms, I dashed for the river bank. Carrying a kicking and screaming one hundred and ten pound woman is not as easy as you might think.

_Damn, she's strong! I don't remember her being that strong._

I tightened my grip so as not to drop her before we reached the water.

"OH MY GOD! Edward, put me down. _NOW_!"

I smiled and shook my head as we reached the water's edge. I waded in just far enough that the water reached mid thigh and then I dove in with Bella still in my arms.

The overwhelming feeling of rightness, having Bella in my arms, almost took my breath away. As we resurfaced I realized that I had never let go of her totally, still having one arm wrapped around her waist.

God, she felt so good in my arms. For just a moment the years between us fell away and I was transported back to a time when she was mine. It was as if the last nine years had not occurred. As if we were here, in this meadow, in this river, the summer before I left for college. When we were still _us, _before I lost my mind and screwed it all up. I looked down at the angel in my arms. I couldn't stop myself, cupping her face in my hand while holding her close to my body with the other arm. I soaked in the beauty of her face; I drank it in like an alcoholic with the finest of brandy's. The beautiful brown eyes which had starred in all my dreams were swimming in unshed tears, what I saw in her eyes confused me in the intensity of the pain. The fear that crossed Bella's face broke my heart more than I thought it possible.

"Bella…" I whispered, unsure of what to do. Had I caused this? What had happened to her? The light was gone from her eyes and I had no idea why. Was I the cause of it?

"I…let me go, Edward," she choked on the emotions I could see playing across her face.

I did as she asked, though my instinct was to hold on even tighter. I knew that she was running from me and I had no right to try to hold onto her.

_She isn't yours anymore._

No, she isn't, but I'm damn sure going to try to figure out how to change that.

I watched as Bella made her way back to shore and saw Rosalie and Alice stand to meet her at the riverbank. She paused speaking to them briefly then walked straight back toward the campsite.

_Damn it_!

I felt four pair of eyes on me. I couldn't acknowledge them, because I was stunned. What had just happened? I knew I had pushed her too far, been too familiar with her, but what I saw in her face seemed like so much more than that. She was in pain and I had no idea the cause of that pain. Did she feel guilty for having fun with me when she had a boyfriend? God knows I had accused her of doing just that a short time ago. Maybe Jasper had been wrong and there was more to her relationship with Seth than he knew?

All I knew was that there was more than what I was aware of going on with Bella, and somebody needed to give me some answers. I just didn't know which one of the four would actually give it to me straight.

* * *

**A/N:**

**So I hope you liked it. Edward made some revelations in his own life here and has put some things in motion to make some changes that he needs to get himself right. What's going on with Bella? Hmmmmm.....all shall be revealed young padwan....**

**Up Next: the completion of the Camping Trip and a little talk between Rose and Edward....**

**Thanks to all of you who have reviewed and left me love. I really appreciate it...makes my heart swell at the support you have all shown me....really.**

**A couple of rec's:**

**My Favorite Accident by sendmeonmyway**

**Behind the Clouds by EchoesatTwilight**

**Guard My Life by Stavanger1**

**Illegal Contact by GreenEyedGirl**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: All the standard disclaimers apply...I do not own a thing related to Twilight although I would love to own Edward or Jasper. Unfortunately, I don't. **

**Thanks as always to the beautiful Stavanger1. **

**Jessica1971, love ya darlin'. Thank you so very much, twin. **

**Music for the Chapter: Bon Jovi-Everbody's Broken, Sarah McLaughlin- In the arm's of an angel, Daughtry- What have we become**

What have we become

All those years  
One day changes everything, and  
Gone and your life and the passion fades away  
Saving for something  
That you'll never see in your days  
Shutting out everything that you need

(Looking through distorted eyes)  
Beautiful disaster  
(Adding up a million lies)  
So much for "ever after"  
Building up your wall  
Everything you wanted  
Fit the pieces into holes we used to crowd away  
Giving in or leaving this now  
Now we have what we have become  
All the tears  
We never thought we'd see the day when  
The trappings of your life would seem to disappear  
Goin through the vacancy you leave behind  
Not what you have promised,  
Not what you believed

(Looking through distorted eyes)  
Beautiful disaster  
(Adding up a million lies)  
So much for "ever after"  
Building up your wall  
Everything you wanted  
Fit the pieces into holes we used to crowd away  
Finding out the truth, when nothing really matters  
Chase the light that's blinding even as you crowd away  
Now we have what we have become  
Now you fight to ease your pain  
Now you know it's not the way out  
Now you know it's not the way out  
Not the way out

Building up your wall  
Everything you wanted  
Fit the pieces into holes we used to crowd away  
Finding out the truth, when nothing really matters  
Chase the light that's blinding even as you crowd away  
Now we have what we have become

* * *

**What have we become.....**

**EPOV**

We had opted to just have sandwiches by the river for a late lunch. The sun was beginning to set when we returned to camp. Bella already had dinner going over the campfire. She turned to look at our motley crew as we made our way back from the river. I tried to catch her attention, but she looked anywhere but directly at me, though she threw a small smile in my direction.

I was so completely confused by the exchange between us from earlier and now she wouldn't even look at me. I knew from the way everyone danced around the issue that there was more to what was going on with Bella than just a divorce and a cheating husband. I realized that the perfect life I had envisioned for her did not actually exist. I had hated her for moving on, when I wasn't able to. I had it in my head that her life had been so much better than what I could have offered at the time. Sitting home every weekend while she wondered if I would be coming home or not, would have been torture and I made the choice to not require that of her. I let her go, but her reaction today was anything other than what I expected. The look in her eyes….so much pain.

"Wow, sis! That smells great," Emmett made a beeline for the campfire to inspect what Bella had prepared.

Opening up the pot that sat on the small grid over the open flame, he took a deep breath and, a wide full out dimpled grin broke across his face.

"Mmmmm….Holy Hell, Bella, is that mom's homemade stew?" He rubbed his abdomen with an anticipatory look upon his face.

Renee's Brunswick stew was legendary and obviously she had made a batch, sending it with Bella for our dinner tonight.

"Yep, mom made it yesterday. She was at my house when I got home from the barn and had it all packed up already to go. Said she knew better than to make stew at the big house with you around there, wouldn't be any left to bring on the trip." Bella winked at her brother, teasing him about his insatiable appetite.

Emmett faked a wounded look and threw an arm over Bella's shoulders, placing a kiss to her temple. I thought I heard him ask in a whisper "you okay?". Bella just nodded her head, that same pained expression crossed her face. It was fleeting, but it was there.

Emmett caught my curious expression and quickly brought up a subject I somewhat was trying to avoid. Not because I didn't want to give them answers but more that I was not sure of my suspicions. Making accusations like the ones I was formulating were not to be taken lightly.

"So Edward, you got any ideas on what happened to Lacy?" Emmett questioned as he heaped a ladle full of stew on his plate and grabbed a beer from the cooler.

I hesitated as I was not sure how to broach this subject. I knew that Bella would be upset if she was aware of my suspicions that someone had poisoned her mare. I cleared my throat, stalling yet again.

"Uh....yeah but just some preliminary stuff. Nothing definitive yet. I sent the lab results you gave me over to a colleague at UGA to have them look over it. They should be getting back to me soon."

"Well I sure hope they can give us better answers than James has given so far." Emmett's tone told me that he was frustrated with Dr. Anderson and his claims that there was nothing in the autopsy report. Which I had discovered to be true for the one that he had given to Bella and Emmett. But after some phone calls and pulling a few strings I got a totally different report from the doctor who performed the autopsy at Texas A&M.

"How long has Dr. Anderson been working at the ranch?" I wanted to establish a time frame for when problems started occurring with their stock.

"Uh...maybe three, four years?" Emmett answered with a confused look on his face."Why?"

"Oh no reason really. Just trying to get an idea of how long ya'll have been working together. So....um....when did you start having problems with your mare's?" I asked as I ladled a helping of the stew into my plate and took a beer out of the cooler myself.

"I don't know. Maybe like two years ago? What are you thinking?" Emmett questioned as we made our way over to where the others had congregated around the fire pit.

"I can't really say just yet. I need some more information but as soon as I'm a little more sure of what I think might be going on I'll let you know. I'm sorry man, I wish I could tell you more right now. I just really can't, not yet." And I really was sorry I couldn't be more specific in my theory but I needed to be sure. Completely positive that my theory was and the truth were one in the same before I accused anyone of anything. Emmett wasn't happy about my vague answers but he let it go for now. I knew I would have to give them the whole story of what I found out soon.

I had just sat down when I heard Jasper snicker.

"So….Edward, you're doing magazine covers now? Never pegged you for the modeling type." I snorted, shaking my head and swallowed a mouthful of stew.

"Aw hell, that was about the dumbest thing I think I have ever had to do," I began my explanation of being tricked into doing a full spread for an article for _Western Horseman_ on some of the breakthroughs recently made at the University by my team.

"Well, you looked like you were enjoying it in the pictures," my sister giggled.

"God, it was awful. They were doing some story on the University's research and I drew the short stick. My boss wouldn't let me out of doing the interview and the picture shoot. It was ridiculous." I shook my head again at the completely absurd photographer and the ways he wanted me to try to pose for the shoot. He was fucking crazy. "I don't even really know how they decided to put me on the cover. That wasn't really in the deal. I just got this call that they were using one of my pictures for the cover. I don't know; it was just crazy."

The conversation continued; it was light and easy. It was nice to just relax with my friends and family. I had forgotten how good it felt to just be out in the open, to get fresh air without the constant blare of a car horn or radio or noisy ass neighbors at three in the morning.

~*~

We were all relaxing around the campfire and I was strumming lightly on my guitar. It had been a long time since I had taken time to just play anything at all on the guitar or the piano. I had played the piano for the first time in years just a few days ago, and Esme had expressed how much she missed my playing. It was something I rarely allowed myself the pleasure of endeavoring. I didn't find the peace I once had in the music.

The woman sitting across the fire from me, that's where my peace lay. My family and this tiny woman filled me when nothing else could; that was the epiphany I had after my mother laid it out on the line to me. I had not taken an honest look at where my life was and where it was heading, but now that I had I knew what my path should be. The doe eyed angel sitting just feet from me was what filled my soul to overflowing. I had thrown her away, had given her wings that she didn't want, but I so self righteously thought she needed. Because, I knew so much better than she what was good for her. I was a dick and I had hurt everyone in my attempts at _doing the right thing_. I had known nothing about what it meant to truly be heartbroken until the day I watched her walk away.

I thought that I was making the right decision. She had been waiting, waiting for me to call, waiting for me to come home from school. Always there, always accepting of whatever time I could spare for her, and never asking for more. She understood, she said she knew that it would be hard once I really got into my classes, but that it was okay and that she wasn't missing out on anything in high school that was of any interest. She didn't feel that I was keeping her from enjoying that last year of high school, but I _knew_ different and I just couldn't hold her back like that.

_Humpf! Yeah you knew so much better, didn't you?_

I snorted at myself and that realization. I had known nothing of what I was really doing. But I knew that I would have less and less time to come home. I just couldn't see where it was fair to keep her hanging on while I was there and she was home, always _waiting_. She was a senior in high school. She didn't need to be hanging on to a relationship with me when I wasn't even going to be here for another six years.

_But isn't that what you expected her to do? Even_ _after you threw her away!_

Yes, dammit! I'm a bastard. I had been pissed off that she did exactly what I told her I wanted her to do. I had punished her and everyone around me because of it, but really…

How the hell could I ask her to put her life on hold for six years?

I couldn't, so I had made the abso-fucking-lutely dumbest decision in my life.

I had asked her for the ring back, I had told her the most horrendous lie. I realize it was a promise ring, we were too young to take the next step but I had wanted her to know that I was committed to her, and then I took it all back. I had crushed all her hopes, along with my own, any dream I had of ever being happy again. My heart was still paying the price for what my brain told me to do that day.

"Edward! You have to sing something. It's been so long since we were all sitting around a campfire like this and you had your guitar. You just have to!" Alice trilled, bringing my attention back to my surroundings and out of my totally useless musings.

"Yeah E, sing somethin' purty,." Jasper drawled. He really could be a douche at times.

"Come on, asshole, you know I'm not going to beg for you to sing something, so just do it already and quit being a pansy." Rose could always be counted on to keep you in your place. She never cut anybody any slack.

I looked across the fire to see Bella looking back at me. I lost my self in her chocolate eyes for just a moment. She smiled a small tentative smile and broke our eye contact, looking back into the flames.

"Ahem." I cleared my throat and adjusted my position from where I was lying back against my saddle on the ground. "What do you want me to play, Alice?" I asked my insistent sister.

"God, I don't care, just anything. I just want to hear you sing, really it doesn't matter." Alice had always been a pain in my ass, but I also knew she had my back even if she was sure to slap the shit out of me when I got out of line.

I began strumming out a few chords, trying to make a decision as to about what I would sing. I chuckled to myself as I began the first chords of _Poker Face_. I had recently heard Daughtry do a cover that was acoustic and, in my opinion, it was much better than the original.

I smiled as I heard Alice squeal in delight when she realized what I was playing.

Outside of whatever it was that happened between Bella and me earlier today, this camping trip had been a complete success. I hadn't felt this relaxed, this comfortable with my family and friends in years. Though there was a definite tension in the air surrounding the two of us, everyone seemed to be having a good time. I played a few Van Morrison songs and just enjoyed the feeling of the strings beneath my fingers. It was comforting. Occasionally I would catch Bella watching me and I would try to smile at her, but she averted her gaze every time.

"Edward, you have to sing one more," I watched my sister as she yawned loudly.

"Yeah, because I'm captivating you so much with my musical talents that you just can't stay awake, right?"

"No, smartass, it's getting late and I'm tired. I love your singing, you know that." She retorted.

I snorted a response, smirking at her. I looked around the campfire and took in the sights before me. Alice and Jasper were snuggled together lying on his sleeping bag. She was resting on his chest, while he was stretched out over the length of his bed, reclining his head on the seat of his saddle.

Rose was resting between Ems bent legs on his abdomen, her back to him. He was absently running his hands through her long blonde hair, while she rubbed nonsensical patterns on his thigh with her index finger. It was very intimate and the memory of years past when we had all been in this meadow together much in the way we were tonight came flooding back to me. A time when Bella was still mine and I was allowed to touch her the way Em or Jasper was allowed to touch their love.

"Edward, sing something else." Alice's sleepy request came to me, muffled slightly from her position.

I started plucking the strings trying to get a feel for what I wanted to play, and before I made a conscious decision about it, the chords were flowing from my hands. My eyes closed of their own accord as the memories of those years when Bella was mine washed over me and the song came forth.

_Something in the way she moves,_  
_Attracts me like no other lover._  
_Something in the way she woos me._  
_I don't want to leave her now,_  
_You know I believe and how._

The memory of how her silky hair felt in my hand as I bent placing a kiss upon her full pouty lips.

_Somewhere in her smile she knows,_  
_That I don't need no other lover._  
_Something in her style that shows me._  
_I don't want to leave her now,_  
_You know I believe and how._

I remembered how her eyes would light up when she would look at me, a smile breaking across her beautiful face.

_You're asking me will my love grow,_  
_I don't know, I don't know._  
_Stick around, and it may show,_  
_But I don't know, I don't know._

I remembered the look on her face the day I gave her the promise ring. Telling her everything that was in my heart, asking her to be truly mine one day, to always love me.

_Something in the way she knows,_  
_And all I have to do is think of her._  
_Something in the things she shows me._  
_I don't want to leave her now._  
_You know I believe and how._

My breath caught in my throat as I sang the last words, realization of what song I had sang. _Our song._

The last chord hung in the air as I opened my eyes and was met with those brown eyes I had sang to in my mind, which now held a flaming fury, along with more pain and confusion than I had ever seen in them before.

_Fuck!_

"Bella…" I whispered her name but she was already standing and walking away toward the river.

As I looked at the others around the fire I wasn't shocked to see the anger rolling off of Emmett and Jasper. Alice had tears in her eyes as she shook her head.

"You really are an ass, Edward." Rose snapped with so much venom in her voice I flinched.

I couldn't look at them any longer and searched for Bella's retreating form in the fading light of the fire.

I jumped up, laying my guitar to the side and followed after Bella just as fast as I could. I couldn't let her get away this time we needed to talk; I had waited too long already in not telling her how I felt.

I found her standing on the river bank, skipping stones across the water's surface. The moon was full and the glow made her skin luminescent.

"Bella?" I approached cautiously. I wasn't sure what to say or do at this point. I had just sang a love song to this woman, that I had sang countless times before when she were mine. But she wasn't mine and I had hurt her. I just wanted to make it better.

"Bella, please…I'm sorry." I pleaded as I stood just behind her. I ached to reach out to her but I knew that I couldn't, she didn't want my touch. She seemed to flinch from the sound of my voice.

"Why, Edward?" What? What was she asking me? Why what?

"Why, what Bella? I don't know why I sang that song…..I just….I had been thinking about you-" I stammered confused by her question and trying to explain why I would do such a thing. How could I make her understand that I was singing to her in our past? I truly didn't mean to hurt her again like this.

"No! Why?" Her body was stiff with the tension of her anger, her fists were balled up, arms wrapped around her body.

"Bella, I don't understand. What do you want me to say? I'm not sure what you're asking me?" I was at a total loss for what to say, where to begin and I wasn't sure what she wanted to hear at this point. I wasn't sure how to tell her that I had always been in love with her. That I had lied to her. That I was sorrier than I could ever make her understand.

"Why have you treated me like you hated me since you came home?" I winced at that accusation. She was completely right I had treated her terribly since the first night I arrived. And although I knew the changes which occurred in the last few days, she had no idea of the transformation I had undergone since we had last spoke.

"What do you want me to say? I have no excuse…I…" I had so much to explain, so much to make amends for that I really didn't know what to say. I was never at a loss for words, but at this moment I was rendered completely speechless.

She wouldn't look at me as she spoke, continuing as though I had not spoken at all. Bella stared out across the river as the moonlight danced on the water's surface. A coyote called to its mate far off in the distance. It was a haunting sound, and the loneliness of the sound crashed into me with a bitter cut across my heart. Irony was a bitch.

I waited, waiting for her to voice what she needed to say.

"Why you've avoided me like the plague for the last two years," her voice was but a whisper.

"Why did you dropped off the face of the Earth, and ever since you got home you have been more than a pain in the ass." Her voice grew stronger as I could tell her temper was rising.

"Where the hell do you get off treating me like this, Edward? I thought we were still friends. I mean, what is wrong with you?" She turned on me then, her liquid chocolate eyes blazing in the moonlight. "Did you develop some type of personality disorder or something? Because you have been running hot and cold since you came home. I mean, your mood swings are giving me whiplash. You basically called me a whore to my face at dinner the first night you were home! And now you sing _that_ song to me." Her voice cracked and I could tell the iron clad hold she had on her composure was slipping.

How could I have done this to her? What a selfish bastard I had been?...

Just because I couldn't deal with the fact that she had done exactly what I had told her I wanted her to do, I became angry with her. I lashed out at her because of _my_ mistake. I had made my mistake her fault, and treated her accordingly. I hung my head with the shame I felt for treating her in such a manner.

"What exactly did you want me to say, Bella? I'm sorry that I treated you thisat way, it wasn't fair but…." I tried to gather my words. I needed to say so many things. I needed to tell her how sorry I was and that everything I said to her that day and the days since had been a lie.

"You were married Bella. I couldn't very well have called you up and asked you to meet me for a beer at Shenanigan's? What did you want me to do? And I couldn't…" My emotions were on overload and I was only holding a tentative control over myself. I had to swallow the bile in my throat, the sickening feeling over the pain I had caused washing over me.

Her eyes flashed again, the flames of her fury burning through me from her glare. Her breath hitched as she took in how close I stood to her, mere inches between our bodies. Mine was screaming out for hers, my hands itched to bury themselves in those rich mahogany locks. My lips burned to touch hers; my heart ached within my chest with the knowledge that I had caused her this type of pain. Was this what I was seeing earlier? As I stared into her eyes I could see it all still there, this level of pain had to have more of a story than what I was being told.

"Why…why not? You said you wanted to be my friend…then you just…" her voice traveledtrailed off. As she looked into my eyes, I could see the tears brimming in hers.

"You didn't want me in any part of your life. I understand that. I just don't understand what I did to make you so angry with me." She looked at me with those deep chocolate eyes and I lost myself in them. It was as though she could see straight into my soul. She murmured something under her breath, it almost sounded like '_why didn't you want me…"_

I realized a heartbeat too late that she truly believed that I didn't want her, and how could she not after the way I had treated her? I saw her face begin to crumple and I reached for her in the same instant she turned and ran again.

_Fuck!_

"Bella…" I called after her. I would not follow her this time. She obviously needed to be away from me and I couldn't blame her for not wanting to be anywhere near me.

I scrubbed my hands over my face, growling in frustration. Turning to look out over the river, I picked up a rock and threw it as far as I possibly could.

Squatting down and picking up a handful of pebbles, I felt the emotions of the last nine years overwhelm me. Though I had realized how majorly fucked up my life had become and why it was in such a mess,. I had finally put things in perspective. Starting with restoring my family ties to what they once were, but I had no idea how to get to Bella. To make her understand that what I had told her was a lie. How would I make her believe that I would always love her, , and had, always loved her?

Shit. I had really fucked that up. How was I going to fix this?

_God, Cullen! Is there nothing you can do right by this woman?_

Obviously not! God, I needed a cigarette. I had stopped smoking over a year ago and in all that time I had not needed a cigarette more than I needed one right now.

_Of all the times not to have a cigarette! _

I ran my hands through my hair, trying to calm myself of the nervous energy searing through my system. How was I going to make this right now?

I looked over my shoulder as I heard the footsteps approaching. I knew it wouldn't be Bella. She couldn't stand to be near me.

_Oh shit. This cannot be good._

"Rose…" I warned. I really wasn't in the mood to be bitched out by Rosalie, . Tthough I knew I deserved it. I wasn't ready to hear it, my emotions were too raw.

"Rose, this isn't really a good time. I…I just need to be alone for a while." I turned away from her, hoping she would get the message and realize that I truly just needed to be alone and think.

"Em and I are trying to have another baby." I stopped dead in my tracks. Okay, although I'm happy that Rose and Emmett want to have another child, I really couldn't see what that had to do with my current problem.

"Um…congratulations?" I quirked an eyebrow at her but she didn't continue. "Rose, why are you telling me this now, tonight?" I questioned because I couldn't find the relevance or reason for telling me she was trying to get pregnant tonight.

"We haven't told Bella yet…that we're trying." I could hear the hesitation in her voice, a catch in her breath.

Why would she not tell Bella? Why would she not be happy about another baby?

"I don't understand, Rose. Bella loves Garrett, why would you not tell her about trying for another baby?" I was completely confused as to what this had to do with what was going on between Bella and me. I couldn't find the relevance of what she was trying to tell me. And why would Bella not be happy about it?

"Edward, you have no idea what Bella has been through in the last year." Rose had crossed to the edge of the river, squatting down to pick up her own handful of pebbles. She released a heavy sigh and looked at me, a look of utter sadness etched on her face.

I couldn't understand what she was trying to tell me, or why she was so emotional. "Rose….UGH! Why does everyone keep saying that to me but never explains exactly what it is that I don't know? I know about the divorce. Carlisle told me about it the night I was such an ass at dinner, my first night home. I know that Tyler had an affair with Tanya. So would you please tell me what the hell it is that I don't know, because being completely in the fucking dark sure as shit isn't helping me fix this mess!" I shook my head, running both my hands through my hair in complete frustration. I was done. I needed to know what everyone kept dancing around, alluding to, but never actually told me anything.

Rosalie spun around to face me with absolute fury on her face. I took a step back, not really understanding where this instant mood change was coming from., I could see tears brimming in her eyes. That scared me more than the fury;, Rose was on the verge of tears.

"No! No you don't know," she spat at me. "You have no fucking clue what that girl has been through." She took a step toward me and again I backed a step away.

"You have no idea how devastated she has been and it's not just the divorce. Well since Carlisle told you about the affair then...." Rose advanced on me again, and I nodded my head, but stood my ground. "Oh well then I'm sure he told you about Bella's baby?" She questioned with a knowing expression. I felt the shock hit my body at her words.

_Bella had a baby? _

"And since he told you about that I'm sure that he also told you that she lost it…." The grimace of pain which crossed my face was all the answer she needed, knowing I had no idea that Bella had been pregnant or about her losing the baby.

_Fuck!_

"I'm taking that as a no. Well, then I'm sure he didn't tell you that she had to have a hysterectomy either, did he?" I felt the breath whoosh out of me as though I had been punched.

Bella, had lost a baby? Bella had to have a hysterectomy? _Oh my God! I felt sick. I swallowed thickly several times to quell the nausea that was rolling in the pit of my stomach. _

"Or about the depression that she went into after she lost the baby. I guess if you talked with Carlisle then you know that we thought we were going to have to admit her to the hospital to help her come out of the hole she had fallen into." Rosalie continued as if she were possessed. I couldn't catch my breath for all the emotions that were running through me at that moment. I was stunned.

"I'm sure he told you that Tyler is a weak ass son of a bitch. That he couldn't man up and be a husband to her. And since I'm sure you were just asking so many questions about what has happened to Bella.. Because I know you've been so concerned with her and not so wrapped up in your own head, in whatever the hell has been up your ass since you came home, that he also told you Tyler chose the worst possible time on Earth to bring Tanya into their home. I'm sure you wanted to know all about how Bella walked in on them in her bed going at it like rabbits and Tyler didn't even have the decency to cover up when she caught them."

I couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth. Why had no one told me all of this?

I know that I had made them feel thatlike I didn't want to talk about Bella, but this….I couldn't understand why they would think I should notn't know about this. I shook my head, trying to clear it. I couldn't wrap my head around what she was saying, but she didn't give me time as she continued on her tirade.

"Tyler and Tanya had been carrying on since the Christmas party before he and Bella married. She caught them then, huddled up together in the dining room. Did you know that? No. I'm sure you didn't, because you couldn't bother yourself to be concerned with what she was going through. Could you? You were so stuck in your own world of self-hatred, you couldn't see anything other than your own needs." She watched as the realization of what her words meant washed across my face. She took a deep breath, seeming to get a better hold on her emotions, she then continued in a calmer voice.

"He told her he had broken it off, and she forgave him, of course. But that's bullshit and he knows it. You know it really doesn't even matter whether it's true or not, because he had sure as shit started it back up full force. He actually told Bella it was her fault that he had an affair, that she was frigid and that he needed to be cared for. The bastard actually said that to her. She was only about three months after surgery and losing the baby. And to add to that the fact that Tanya acted like she did nothing wrong, like she had nothing to do with anything that was happening around her."

I was reeling. I couldn't get a handle on the rage that was tearing through me.

Rose's expression softened as she took in my tortured expression. I was frozen in place. I couldn't move. I could hardly breathe. When she began spinning her story again, I was even more devastated by what she had to tell me.

"Do you know that after you broke her heart, after you broke your promise to her, she threw herself into training and riding the circuit? She said that she wanted you to know she was doing what you asked. She was trying to move on. Bella said she wanted you to be proud of her. She wanted you to be happy, and told everyone that it was for the best. That you were going to be friends. But we all knew. We all knew that it wasn't possible for you two to be friends. But God, Edward, she tried so hard. She tried so damn hard to make it look like she was okay." " She paused as though she were collecting her thoughts and stared off into the night.

"After a while we all started to believe it, too. She got really good at making everything look okay. We thought she had healed. I think she even thought she could love someone else, if she tried hard enough. Edward, she tried so hard to make that marriage work, to make that sorry ass happy. And to know that the whole time he was playing with Tanya on the side….." Rose cleared her throat.

"Rose…" I choked out. I didn't even know how to respond to any of this. It was too much. All I could think about was that I needed to find Bella and tell her how much I loved her. How sorry I was for what she had gone through. With that thought came the realization that had I not broken her, she would have been mine and she would not have gone through all of that alone. She would not have had a husband that could have treated her in such a way.

But it was my fault…..I had thrown away her love, told her we had been a mistake. The one person that I loved more than my own life, that I wanted to protect, she endured the worst pain imaginable. Bella had suffered immeasurable because I had been too stubborn to make the connections to my own misery with the one decision I had made as an eighteen year old boy. A boy made the decision, the man I became paid the price for the boy's stupidity. And my stubbornness as that man had allowed the stupidity to continue. Never letting the thought pass that Bella was not happy. That her life was not perfect. God! Her life was anything but what I had envisioned for her when that little boy made a life altering mistake.

Bella had always wanted a large family. I knew how devastated she would have been over losing a child. God, but to know that she would never have a child was just more than I could comprehend. The utter devastation that Bella would have felt over that loss iwas unimaginable.

"The baby had started to glue Bella together. She was so happy. Then when she lost it….when the doctors rushed her into the operating room…God." Rose angrily wiped the tears from her face. I stood stock still, unable to move at all. "When she woke up it was like the light in her soul was gone. She hit rock bottom, Edward. I'm sorry Edward. I know you had no idea what happened." Rose took my hand and squeezed it, looking deep into my eyes.

I felt the lump in my throat choking me, cutting off my breath.

"God, Rose. How do I help her?" the words were but a whisper.

"You love her. There's nothing else you can do. She needs to know that you're here. Are you here, Edward?" She tugged my hand to gain my attention. I met her eyes, waiting to hear what she could tell me that would give me any idea of how to be what Bella needed.

"I know you love her, Edward. I see it. It's written all over your face. Even when you were being such a raging ass, the pain you' were feeling was always there. We all tried to understand how you could continue to punish the both of you, for a stupid mistake you made when you were eighteen years old. Edward, we all make mistakes, yours are burning you alive. But Bella doesn't need a man who isn't strong enough to stand by her side. To help hold her up and keep her grounded at the same time. She's had that, a man that was not there when she needed them. Twice." She gave me a pointed look, but her eyes softened as she saw the grimace of pain on my face.

"Are you strong enough, Edward? I know when you made the decision to leave her you thought you were doing the right thing, making the right decision. But was it? Now that you know the pain of what you've both lived through, was it worth it? I think you know it wasn't. Bella doesn't need a man full of regrets, Edward. She needs you to be strong, admit that you made a stupid fucking mistake, but admit it and let it go. Bella needs you to be strong. Are you strong enough to be what she needs? Because if you're not. Then please, for the love of God, walk away from her now and don't look back. Because, she will _not_ survive if you break her again."

"I can't walk away from her again, Rosalie. And I'm not willing to let her walk away from me, either. I've wasted enough time, I….I can't really wrap my head around all of this, but I'm not walking away." I knew in that moment there was no way in hell I could ever leave Bella again.

Rosalie stared at me with those piercing blue eyes, so much like Jasper's. The two of them really have some kind of freaky 'know it all' voo doo magic. They always seem to be able to read people better than most. She seemed to be searching for something. When she found whatever it was she was looking for, she nodded. Giving my hand another squeeze she turned on her heel and headed back toward camp.

~*~

I woke up the next morning stiff as all hell. I stayed at the river for quite a while after Rosalie left. I needed to think about everything that she had told me. I couldn't get my mind to shut down to sleep after talking with Rose. I wanted to say so many things to Bella but I knew that now more than ever I would have to tread lightly. If she just would let me; she hadn't wanted to hear what I was trying to tell her. I understand that, I just had to figure out how to make her listen.

When I finally fell asleep it was a fitful night of waking and tossing and turning. I forgot how much it hurt to sleep 'under the stars' and really could not remember why I let my sister talk me into that little endeavor.

I hadn't ridden a horse in years and I sure as shit hadn't slept on the ground since we were teenagers. It might have been fun at seventeen, but at twenty seven, it hurt like hell.

I felt a sharp kick to my shin.

"OW! What the hell?!" I yelled, glaring up into the pissed off face of my pint sized sister.

"Get up brother dear. We're burning day light and I've got a video conference with the florist later today." Alice demanded as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. When my vision cleared I could tell the sun had just begun to show above the horizon, casting the Texas sky in bright oranges and yellows.

"Dammit Alice, the sun's not even up yet. What the hell do you mean we're 'burning daylight'?" I grumbled as I crawled out of my bedroll and stretched, trying to work out the kink in my back.

"There's coffee man if you want some." Jasper called as he walked back from the river. Obviously, he had taken the horses down to have a morning drink. Rosalie was tying her bedroll securely, readying it to go back on her saddle.

I quickly took inventory of my surroundings, and noticed that Bella was nowhere in sight. Alice was putting out the remnants of the fire, along with packing up the extra blankets and placing them back in the pack.

"Uh…. where's Bella?' I asked cautiously.


	8. Chapter 8

**I can't tell everyone how much I appreciate your continued support of this story. Thanks to all the ladies who are visiting the thread! Love you all. **

**As always my gratitude to Stavanger_1, you are so dear to my heart. Thank you for all your support and encouragement, and making me a better writer.**

**Thanks to Jessica1971, your the bestest. Thanks for all the long winded talks! =) Love ya darlin'!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own Bella's horse Valentine. **

**Why by Rascall Flats**

**You must have been in a**

**Place so dark**

**You couldn't feel the light**

Reachin' for you through  
That stormy cloud  
Now here we are  
Gathered in our little hometown  
This can't be the way  
You meant to draw a crowd

Oh why, that's what I keep asking  
Was there anything I could've  
Said or done  
Oh, I had no clue you were  
Masking  
A troubled soul, God only knows  
What went wrong and why  
You would leave the stage  
In the middle of a song

Now in my mind I'll keep you frozen  
As a seventeen-year-old  
Rounding third to score the  
Winning run  
You always played with passion  
No matter what the game  
When you took the stage  
You'd shine just like the sun  
_  
_Oh why, that's what I keep asking  
Was there anything I could've  
Said or done  
Oh, I had no clue you were  
Masking  
A troubled soul, God only knows  
What went wrong and why  
You would leave the stage  
In the middle of a song

Now the oak trees are swaying  
In the early autumn breeze  
A golden sun is shining on my face  
Through tangled thoughts  
I hear a mockingbird sing  
This old world really ain't that  
Bad of a place

Oh why, there's no comprehending  
And who am I to try to  
Judge or explain  
Oh, but I do have one  
Burning question  
Who told you life wasn't  
Worth the fight  
They were wrong, they lied  
Now you're gone and we cry  
'Cause it's not like you to  
Walk away  
In the middle of a song

Your beautiful song  
Your absolutely beautiful song

* * *

CH 8 **Why....**

**BPOV**

"Bella? Are you okay?" Alice questioned as I entered the camp, following me into the tent. I flopped down on my sleeping bag and buried my face in the satin coverings.

Alice sat down next to me, placing a hand on my back and rubbing soothing circles.

I rolled my head to the side and looked over my shoulder at my friend. I was a bit shocked by the look of sadness on her face.

"Alice….I'm so sorry."

"What are you talking about? What do you have to be sorry about?" she questioned incredulously.

I took a deep breath, trying to quell the tears that threatened just behind the surface.

"For making such a mess out of your camping trip, this weekend is supposed to be about you and Jasper. And somehow Edward and I have made it all about us again, and it's my fault. I'm so sorry. I've not been a good friend, not to mention Maid of Honor." No matter how hard I tried the tears leaked from the corners of my eyes.

"Oh Bella….you have nothing to be sorry about. Honest." She smiled a small half smile before she continuedcontinuing. "But honey, you should probably talk to Edward. I over heard him talking with mom and dad this week and Bella he….you need to talk with him honey." Alice had tears in her eyes as she met my gaze.

"I…I can't Alice….I just…" I choked on the words. I couldn't breathe with the thoughts of talking to Edward about what he had tried to tell me tonight.

"It's okay. Shhh…..I know, not right now. But Bella, don't close him out…just listen to what he has to say." She patted my back and gave me that knowing 'Alice look'.

I nodded my head. I couldn't respond, the emotions that were overtaking my body had robbed me of my voice. There was no possible way I could actually sit down and have a conversation with Edward, not now. How would I be able to do that? I couldn't even breathe when he was close to me; how would I speak?

~*~

I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned, but it was pointless. I knew there was no way that I could spend six hours in the saddle watching Edward, being near Edward. I just couldn't do it. It was that simple. I just could not be in that proximity to him, I had to go.

Slipping my boots on, I rolled my sleeping bag, tying it off so I could carry it on my saddle. I crawled over to Rosalie to tell her I was riding out.

"Bella, what are you doing? It's not even," she looked at her cell phone. "Four in the morning. Where are you going?"

"Rose I have to go….I can't…" I turned my head, looking over my shoulder to where I knew Edward was sleeping just outside.

"Can't you wait until daybreak?" Rose had that mother hen look on her face and I knew she was just worried.

I shook my head.

"No Rose. I can't, I have to go now."

She stared at me for what seemed like forever, finally nodding her head in assent.

"And don't be waking Em to come with me." I gave her a pointed look. "Because I know that's what you're thinking. I'll be fine. It's not like I don't know the way home." I smirked, though I knew Rose didn't buy the lightheartedness I was trying to pull off. She knew me too well..

I kissed her cheek and grabbing my bedroll, and stepped out of the tent. It was still dark out.

_The darkest part of the night, just before the dawn._

I grabbed one of the lanterns and made my way over to where I could hear the horses grazing. As soon as I was far enough away from camp so the light from the lantern wouldn't alert any of the boys to what I was doing, I turned the switch and the iridescent light illuminated the area in a small circle surrounding me.

I spotted Valentine. Walking to her and placing a rope around her neck I slipped the halter on her head.

"Hey, sweet girl…" I cooed too her, and patted her muzzle. I squatted down to remove the hobbles from her feet, she nuzzled the top of my head, blowing warm air through my hair and causing me to shiver.

I giggled and pushed her head away, going about my task.

I quickly had her tacked up, my bedroll tied in place and was in the saddle riding away from camp. It took all I had not to look back to where I knew Edward was laying, deep in sleep.

The twisting of my stomach at the thought of the events from last night and Edward's quasi confessions of his feelings about how I had moved on with my life made me feel nauseous. I needed to get back to familiar grounds. I needed to clear my head and think; I could not think straight when Edward was anywhere near me.

I thought about the way he looked last night as we stood by the river. As I asked him why he didn't want me in his life, I couldn't make sense of the way he looked at me. He looked so lost. I couldn't help the memory of the day he left me from invading my mind.

"_I just can't do this any longer Bella.," I didn't understand what he was saying. I knew the words were coming out of his mouth but I couldn't really hear them for the thundering of my heart in my ears._

"_What......what are you saying, Edward? You can't do what?" I could feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes as I tried to breathe, tried to make sense of his meaning. He had only been away at school for one semester. We had talked about how hard the separation would be, he knew that I would wait and we could be together during his breaks. I knew the veterinary program was intense, but he was just starting and I didn't_ _understand…what happened?_

"_Bella, really? You know what I'm saying. I don't want to continue with this, this long distance thing. It just doesn't work for me." I heard him say it but I couldn't get my mind to wrap around the meaning of the words._

"_Edward, did you meet someone else? Is that why you're doing this? I mean, we talked about all of this, I told you I didn't care about you not being able to come home that often. I know that when you get into the program it's going to be hard. I mean, I'm going to be traveling a lot too, but we can make it work." I didn't want to beg him but I was near hysterics_ _trying to make sense of this change in him, his sudden decision that we couldn't make it._ D_id he not have faith in our love? He didn't think it was worth the trouble, I wasn't worth it…had he really met someone else. I looked down at my left hand, at the promise ring he had given me not so many months ago. I thought that was the happiest day of my life. It was… but now, I didn't know what to think. Had that all been a joke? Had he really not felt as strongly for me as I did for him? He couldn't. There's no way he could feel for me what was in my heart for him if he could do this now. _

"_No, Bella, I haven't met anyone else. I just don't have time for a relationship. You're in high school. You need to be concentrating on finishing your last year and I can't really see how this is going to work any longer. You're going to be busy with the rodeo. You've got a lot of schools looking to snap you up for their teams and I just don't think that you need to be thinking about a relationship either. I mean, come on, Bella, you're only seventeen._ _We're too young to be this serious about each other. The promise ring was a mistake, this whole thing was a mistake." Those words were like a knife to my heart. He succeeded in cutting out my heart and throwing it back in my face. We were a mistake, I was a mistake, everything we had been to each other was a mistake. I couldn't speak, I couldn't really respond, I just stared at him as the tears flowed freely down my face. _

"_I think we would be better as just friends, Bella, you know we've known each other since we were little kids. Our parents are best friends, and I'd like to be able to be your friend, but I just think this is best for everyone concerned." Edward had this look on his face like he completely believed everything he was saying. Like the words made perfect sense, that he believed we should only be friends. _

_Okay, well if I could have him in my life even as just a friend then maybe one day I would be able to do that, just be his friend. So I wiped my face, took a deep breath, and felt my heart shatter as I removed his ring, handing it to him with shaking hands._

"_Okay, Edward. If that's what you want. I want you to be happy. That's all I ever wanted and if that's not me then, well, there's really nothing I can do but...... WE, what we have had together was not a mistake, and no matter what, you will never make me think that. I'm just sorry you see it that way," I stood on tip toe, placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, and walked away._

_I couldn't look back at him._ _If I had I would have fallen to my knees from the pain in my chest as my heart shattered. I felt like my lungs had been ripped from my body; I couldn't get enough air. I walked out of his house and straight to my old truck, climbing in the cab and starting down the road before I allowed the anguish to overtake me._

As I thought back on that day, walking away from Edward, I never looked back.

_Just like today?_

I heard him approaching before I saw him. He was hell bent on catching up to me obviously.

"Brother bear," I deadpanned as Emmett loped up beside me.

It was still dark out, only a sliver of the rising sun beginning to peak over the horizon.

"Baby girl, what the hell? Why did you head out on your own?" Emmett admonished.

He was always protective over me and that had only increased ever since the events with the baby and Tyler had taken place. I understood it. They all had become over protective.

_With good reason._

That I understood, too. I had slipped down a slippery slope of depression after losing my baby. _My _baby. My breath caught in my chest as that thought hit me in the center of my chest like a punch. Though I never really loved Tyler like I should have, I wanted that baby so much. It was the most precious thing in my life, she always would be. Even though I was never able to be her mother, not in the way I prayed I would be. Carlie, that was the name I gave her. My daughter, the only time I would truly be someone's mother, and she was gone, along with any chance of it happening again. The tears burned behind my eyes as I closed them, trying to control my emotions. Why now were these feelings resurfacing? I had all of this under control. How is it that Edward walks back into my life for two weeks and he has me a basket case all over again?

I could feel the anger start to rise in my chest. Filling it where the emptiness had only just been.

Dammit, it wasn't fair. He has no idea what I had gone through. He left me. He wasn't here when I really needed him. Edward had abandoned me long before Tyler did. Tyler's multiple betrayals were cutting at the time, the only lasting one being the fact that he never wanted our baby. Edward's betrayal and broken promises were far more reaching than Tyler having an affair. That marriage was doomed from the outset, I just refused to see it until it was too late.

Edward. With Edward, there was the promise of so much more. The man that I once knew would have stood by me. But he didn't, he left me. He wanted me to move on. He wanted to be _friends_. I accepted my fate, and the realization that Edward wasn't coming back to me. As soon as I moved on with the pieces I could scrape together of my heart, he cut me out of his life completely.

"Em, why did you follow me?" My voice was soft in the morning air. "I told Rosalie not to wake you. I do know how to get home you know."

I tried to tease him but he saw straight through my pretense. He knew how upset I had been last night.

"Bella, listen, you know good and well there was no way in hell I was going to let you ride the whole way home alone." He reached out and took one of my hands in his.

Squeezing it lightly he looked into my eyes.

"Are you okay?" I could hear the concern in his voice. I hadn't told anyone what happened between Edward and I after I walked out of camp. I really didn't want to talk about it now. If I let it start, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to stop it.

I shook my head and gripped his gloved hand a little tighter.

"Alright, I can understand that. Just know that if I need to kick his ass, all you have to do is say the word. Okay?" He smiled an evil grin, complete with dimples.

I snorted a laugh.

"No, brother bear, you don't need to kick his ass right now. But…..can I reserve the right to call in that favor later?" I smirked at my overprotective brother.

He barked out a loud belly laugh.

"You sure as shit can, baby girl." Laughing he pushed my shoulder, almost knocking me out of the saddle.

"Hey! Cut that out!" I squeaked and slapped at his hand.

We spent the rest of the trip discussing the event next month. We made some decisions about upcoming auctions and the possibility of gaining new training clients from the event in Las Vegas. Emmett understood me well and knew that I needed the distraction brought by talking about the ranch and things that were coming up for us. We even discussed some of the wedding arrangements and what I would be doing next week, helping Alice put the final touches on the preparations.

~*~

Emmett and I rode straight to the ranch, making it back just after lunch. Rosalie would bring the rig in when they made it back to the Cullen's ranch.

After I had taken care of Valentine, unsaddling her, cooling her down and turning her out in the paddock. I made my way to Maverick's stall.

I had grown so attached to the little guy. It wasn't lost on me that I felt as though I needed to mother him. He was an orphan and I felt a connection to him that I hadn't felt with other foals in the past.

As I opened the stall door and stepped inside, the emotions of the last several hours swept over me, taking my breath away again. I had called Seth just after we arrived at the barn. I just needed to hear his voice. I wanted to talk to someone who wasn't as invested in this whole situation. I needed to talk to my friend.

"Hey, beautiful," his husky voice washed over me as he wrapped his strong arms around my waist.

"Hey." I whispered as I leaned back into his chest.

He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and I sighed.

"So….how was the camping trip? You sounded…_funny_ when you called."

I turned my head just enough to look up into his smiling face. So handsome, I thought. He really had become my best friend, outside of Alice, of course.

"Um…it was okay, I guess,." I hesitated. I really didn't know how to tell Seth everything that had happened and I wasn't sure, now, that I wanted to. When I called him I was positive I needed to talk to him. I wanted to get his perspective on the clusterfuck that were my thoughts. But now that he was standing here, holding me, I wasn't so sure anymore.

I turned in his arms then, pressing my cheek to his chest. I could hear his heart, beating strong and steady under my ear. That's what I wanted in my life. Strong and steady, that's what I needed. I couldn't handle all the uncertainty that I felt about Edward. My thoughts were all fuzzy and confused.

I placed a kiss just over his heart and heard him suck in a breath. I looked up into his grey eyes. The emotions flashing across his face frightened me a little. They scared me in their intensity. I don't know how long we stood, just staring into one another's eyes, then he nodded imperceptibaly. It was as if he had made a decision. His hands came up to frame my face, caressing my cheeks with his thumbs. Instinctively I licked my lips and then froze.

_What are you doing?_

My inner voice was screaming at me to think about what was happening, what I was about to do. I watched as he dipped his head, bringing his lips to meet mine. Tilting my head with his hands to allow him to deepen the kiss, he was gentle, kind. I snaked my arms around his neck and pressed myself into his body.

_He's your friend, Bella! Have you lost your mind? Do you really think you can do this and have there be no repercussions?_

SHUT UP!

I didn't want to think, thinking was all I had been doing and I just wanted to _feel. _I wanted to feel something, anything besides the crushing loneliness I felt which consumed me every second of the day. I knew what I was doing was wrong. It was wrong because Seth was my friend, but he was also a man who cared for me deeply. He made me feel safe and right now I needed to feel just that… _safe_. I needed to know that there really was someone who wanted me. _Me._ And I knew that Seth cared for me.

He could help me find the path that would lead me out of the turmoil my mind had been in for so long. Seth was a beautiful man; he was kind with a good heart. It had been so long since a man had touched me in this way. As his hands drifted down my back, cupping my ass and pulling me closer. I groaned in pleasure at the sensations I didn't think my body could feel anymore.

I heard him release a low growl as my hands ran under his shirt. His stomach muscles twitched as my fingers caressed the indentations.

"Bella…" I heard him whisper. His hands were creating a delicious friction, rubbing up and down my back. I placed kisses on his abdomen and chest as it was revealed to me, as I pushed his T-shirt out of the way.

"Bella…" I heard my name escape from his lips once again, a little louder this time.

I continued, placing a kiss to the hollow of his throat, and trailing small nipping bites up to his adam's apple and along his jaw.

"Bella….stop." But I didn't stop as I found his pulse point and began lightly sucking.

"Mmmmmm….Bella….stop." His words were telling me to stop, but not his body. I could feel that his body in no way wanted me to stop my ministrations.

"No," I whispered in his ear as I took his lobe in my mouth, biting down gently.

_What are you doing? You don't love him._

_STOP!_

"Ahhhh….Bella, we have to stop," I heard him say breathlessly. His breathing had become hard and fast. I was overjoyed that I could have this affect on a man. I didn't remember the last time Tyler had reacted this way to my touch, if he ever had.

I felt his hands slide up my back to my shoulders and, I thought he was going to place his large hands in my hair and finally really respond to me.

"Mmmmm…. Bella Stop!" He pushed me away from him slightly, grasping my upper arms, just enough that he could look me in the eye.

I was stunned. I looked up at him for only a moment before the embarrassment hit me and I closed my eyes to hold off the tears that were now burning there.

Oh my god! What was I doing? I had just practically attacked my best friend, why would I do that? He's my _friend_. My breathing was coming quicker and. I was beginning to feel dizzy as the tears started to slide down my cheeks.

"Bella….God! Bella, please don't cry." He wrapped his arms around my body, pulling me into his chest, as a sob escaped from my throat.

I knew this was a mistake, I knew it but I went through with it anyway. I wanted to feel _loved._ I wanted to feel,something, anything besides the abyss of the nothing that occupied my chest. I needed that fire I knew now I could feel again. I wanted to feel these things because I knew that I _could _love him. But....

_But you don't._

Seth was my friend, he had been like a brother to me and now…. _Oh my God! _

"I'm so sorry…" I whispered, shaking my head , as I tried to remove myself from his arms. I couldn't look at him; I was mortified.

What the hell had I been thinking? This was Seth. I couldn't do that to him. I knew the pain of settling. I had lived through making myself love someone when I knew that it wasn't real. In my heart I knew it wasn't real but I had tried to make it work. I had done that with Tyler. I had put everything I had into a marriage, into a man I know now I really never loved. I could not do that again, I could not do that to Seth.

I was just so confused Edward's hot and cold act with me and then his attempted declarations last night had my mind so confused I didn't know which way was up. I just needed to feel something...... Something other than confusion, anything other than the feeling of careening out of control. I needed to feel anything other than the cold fear that gripped my heart every time I thought about being alone for the rest of my life, of never having the opportunity to have a family. I just needed to _feel something _more, to feel that someone truly wanted me.

I needed safety and comfort. Seth was both of those things and so much more, but he was my friend. I didn't want this, not really, but the sting of the knowledge that he didn't want me was there regardless.

"Seth….I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I mean….of course you wouldn't want me…..wouldn't want to…." My voice trailed off as I struggled to explain to him it was okay that he didn't want me, didn't want this, as my mortification at this whole fucked up situation overtook me and the tears of frustration and embarrassment flowed down my face unabated.

"Bella….look at me." He shook me gently by my upper arms, which he still held firmly in his large hands. "Bella, Look, Look. At. Me." He emphasized each word and I lifted my eyes from the hole I was staring into the ground, to look directly into his smoky grey eyes.

"You can't truly believe that I don't _want_ you." He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead, and my eyes closed involuntarily.

"Because that could not be further from the truth," he said. I could not stop the tears that were flowing freely down my cheeks. I couldn't find it in me to care enough to wipe my face clear, I was mortified.

"You are a beautiful, kind, loving woman, and I would love to continue this," he gestured with his hand indicating the two of us. "But can I ask you a question?" he continued and I looked up at him in confusion.

"I want to ask you...... why?"

Okay, now I'm not a stupid person but- _What the hell was he talking about? Why, what?_

"What?" I questioned as he took my hand and led me out of Maverick's stall and into the office.

Sitting down on the leather couch, and pulling me to sit next to him, he continued to hold my hand in his.

"I said 'Why?' Bella. Why did you kiss me like that?" I groaned and threw my hands over my eyes.

"Um…..Seth, if you don't know why I would kiss you like that, well then, I'm a whole lot worse at this than I thought." I couldn't look at him as I was sure my face was a lovely shade of crimson.

"OH MY GOD, BELLA!" He barked a laugh, shaking his head and leaning back on the couch.

I slowly removed my hands from my face and stared at him. W_hat the hell was he laughing at?_

"Bella, I know _why_ you kissed me like that, that's not what I meant. I want to know why now? Why today? We have been hanging out with one another for months and you've never once kissed me, not like that. What's different? Why now?"

Well shit. He had a point. We had been dancing around that very situation for several months and though there was always heavy flirting, it was just that, flirting. I continued to stare at his beautiful face without answering his question.

"Would you please tell me why, after all this time, you chose today to change our relationship like this?" He cupped my cheek in his large, warm hand, tracing the apple of my cheek gently with the pad of his thumb.

I leaned into his touch and could not stop the words that began spilling from my mouth; I had to tell someone how utterly alone I felt and how I ached for someone to want me. I had to tell someone how much I needed to know Edward still loved me.

I had to tell someone how Edward walking back into my life had completely thrown my carefully constructed façade out the window. How the walls I had built, which made everything right in my world, were crumbling around my ears. How I feared that once Edward knew what had happened to me, that I could never give him the children he once confessed to wanting, he would walk away again. He would realize he was right in the first place and he didn't want me after all. My heart would not survive that, not again.

The memory of how I felt when Edward held me in his arms, for those few seconds I felt like I was home, like I could breathe again. Then I remembered how much he had hurt me. The way he cut me out of his life completely. How he had been so cold to me that first night he was home. How much it hurt when he all but called me a whore to my face. All of those emotions had my mind confused and my heart tucking tail and running.

"Edward and I had a talk…" I whispered.

"Ah…. that explains a lot." Seth continued to caress my cheek. I took a deep breath and tried to gather my thoughts so I could explain what happened on the camping trip. I felt the tears beginning again as I looked down at my hands in my lap and picked at my nails.

"He sang our song to me…."

"Wow," I heard him say under his breath.

"He's been acting like a complete prick ever since he came back into town, and he's just…..well, he's just been running so hot and cold. One minute he's yelling at me or making snide comments and the next he's acting like his old self, the one I remember."

I drew a deep breath, trying in vain to quell the sobs that were threatening to wrack my body.

"So, last night we were sitting around the campfire. Edward was playing the guitar and he had sung a few songs." I looked up and gave him a weak smile. My heart broke a little as I saw the compassion and understanding on his face. Even after what I had done today, he was still my friend. "So, he had been singing for a while and…..Alice asked him to sing one last song. It was getting late and everyone was so relaxed and…. I saw him look over to me before he started playing." I wiped the tears from my cheeks and shifted to rest my back against Seth's side. His arm was thrown over the back of the couch.

"When I heard the song begin I was…..I just couldn't understand what he was doing. I mean….why would he do that? I kind of froze. I don't think I was even breathing until the song was over. God, Seth, he sang that song to me so many times when we were together." I had to try and catch my breath as the sobs threatened to overtake me.

Seth pressed a hand to my shoulder, to shift me around to face him. Wrapping his arms around me he tucked me into his side, and resting his head on top of mine, he held me. Caressing my back soothingly until I had more control over myself, he just held me. When I had calmed I continued with my tale, but I didn't move from the comfort of his embrace.

"What happened after he sang the song?"

"Well….I did what I do best, I ran." I snorted at that admission, because it was so true I was a master at avoidance. "I walked down to the river….I just…I couldn't sit there, you know?"

He nodded his head and looked at me with a sad smile.

"He followed you, right?"

I nodded and looked down at my hand resting on his chest.

"Yeah, he followed me. I couldn't look at him to begin with. I just asked him why. Why the hot and cold act….you know? Why he's been such an ass. I mean, I hadn't done anything to deserve the way he's treated me since he came back into town, or for the last two years for that matter. I just didn't understand it. I just needed to know why.? Why he cut me out of his life.?" I sniffled and wiped the tears from my face with the back of my hand, it was really pointless because they just wouldn't stop.

"God, Seth….it just hurts so much…..why did he not want me?" I couldn't stop the sob that overtook me then, and Seth shifted his body to pull me into his lap and cradle me like a child against his chest.

"Shhhh…..Bella….I'm so sorry….shhh," Seth cooed, stroking my hair, trying to soothe my melt down.

When I had calmed a little I sat up, and looked at this man, this man whom I had only known a few months but who had become one of my dearest friends. I kissed him gently on the cheek.

"Thank you." I gave him a small smile as I crawled off his lap and sat next to him again on the couch.

"So, what did he tell you when you asked him those questions?" Seth inquired while rubbing a random pattern on my upper arm with his finger.

"He told me he cut all ties with me because I had gotten married. What the hell does that even mean, Seth? I mean, he broke every promise he had ever made to me, he broke things off with _me. _He told me he didn't want me. What was I supposed to do?" I looked at him questioningly, hoping that he had the answer because I certainly did not, and it made my head hurt trying to decipher the enigma Edward had become.

"I can't make sense of it all." I shook my head in disbelief at all the ways my life had spiraled out of control, the last year had been hell, but I had thought I was finally putting the pieces back together. Then, out of nowhere, Edward Cullen waltzes back into my life and makes a hell of a mess.

"Okay…." He started. Seth removed his arm from my shoulders and sat up a little straighter, turning slightly so he faced me fully. He took my hands in his, rubbing his thumbs across my knuckles. "So I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this was all really confusing, to say the least?" He looked into my eyes with a tender expression, before continuing. "And because you are not really sure where your feelings are on that subject, and you were so confused with what you are feeling or not feeling.......you thought that by kissing me you would gain some clarity, because I'm here and you pretty much know where you stand with me. I'm the safe bet?" He didn't say this with malice or hurt in his voice, he was just pointing out the complete obviousness of my actions.

"Seth…I'm so sorry. I…." I swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump that was in my throat. "I really don't know what to say. I'm so embarrassed that I acted this way." My head bowed under the intensity of my shame in taking advantage of him, of our friendship, in this way. I couldn't look him in the eye; I couldn't stand to see the disgust, the revulsion for me, that I was sure I would find in his eyes. I wouldn't blame him if he walked out the door and never looked back.

_Tyler sure did, and Edward......_

I felt a finger slide under my chin as Seth tilted my head so I had no choice but to look at him.

"Bella, I'm not going anywhere, I know that's what you're thinking and I'm not, I'm right here. You are my dearest friend. And….honestly, I totally get it. I understand how confusing all that must be for you. And if this," again he motioned with his hand back and forth between he and I, "had happened with any other girl-"

"Great! Just what I wanted to hear.," I jerked away from him. I don't know why that made it so much worse, but somehow, in that moment knowing that he really didn't want _me_, just…..hurt.

"Hey," he took my face between his hands, "wait a is _not_ how I meant that and you know it." He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead and the tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes once again.

"Bella, had we continued down that path, where do you think that would leave us? Where would we have gone from that?" I didn't know how to answer him. I just stared back into his eyes, with all the confusion and hurt I was feeling written plainly on my face.

"If we had continued, if I hadn't stopped you, it would have been for completely the wrong reason. Bella, you deserve so much more than that, you deserve to be cherished and adored and loved. I could never take advantage of you like that, knowing that we don't have the feelings for one another that should go along with where that kiss would lead. I love you, but you know I'm not _in_ love with you and neither are you, not with me." I crumbled as his last words hit me like a ton of bricks and he wrapped me in his arms once again, allowing me to sob, and trying to soothe my broken heart.

* * *

**So? I would really like to know what you all think.....**

**Thanks to all of you who have been reviewing. It makes my heart smile when I get those little alerts. I try to respond to all of them as quickly as possible. Some I haven't been as quick to respond to and I apologize for that. All those who review will get a little teaser from Ch 9.**

**So go ahead hit that little green button and let me know your thoughts on where Bella is right now.**

**Rec's for some really great stories:**

**Gaurding My Life by Stavanger_1, it's in my faves, if you have not checked out Stav's BD story, GO NOW READ! It's amazing.**

**3,2,1 by heatherdawn, the link is in my faves. Check it out. Great story!**


	9. Chapter 9

**OH MY GOD. If this works I am seriously going to tackle Cullen312 and kiss her! **

**As always I have to thank Stavanger1 for her awesomeness...love you!!! Jessica1971, there aren't words! Thank you!**

***tissue warning* I've been told this one is a heavy one and that tissues are in order. So you've been warned.**

**Disclaimer as always I do not own, they all belong to SM. **

**

* * *

  
**

**Ch 9 Sorry seems to be the hardest word....**

**EPOV**

When I awoke the morning after our… ._confrontation_ by the river, she was gone, and my heart sank at this realization. I knew what she was doing. By riding out hours before the rest of us, she had thwarted any attempt I might have made in talking with her on the ride back home. I'm sure that was exactly her plan. Knowing that Emmett had ridden out after her really wasn't a comfort, other than knowing she at least she wouldn't be alone. Which I'm sure Bella would actually have preferred. The fact that her overprotective, loud ass brother had followed her and, I'm sure, caught up to her shortly thereafter probably wasn't a huge comfort to her at the time, either. With that thought I realized Emmett had reason to be overprotective of her.

Though it broke my heart, it was actually a good thing she wasn't there that morning. It gave me time to gather my thoughts, to really look at the situation before me. I needed to sort through all of the information Rosalie had provided about Bella's loss. I had been so wrapped up in my own misery, wallowing in all the regrets. I had assumed that her life was perfect. I mean, why would it not be, right? She was able to move on; she fell in love with another man… God, had I known what she was truly going through.…

_What? What would you have done? Come back? _

I shook my head, trying to clear it of the fog. I couldn_'_t say what I would have done. Not because my feelings were any different now, but…. could I have come back to her? Would I have come back? Would that have been the right thing? I truly had no answer for what I would or should have done. All I know is that I would not be letting her go again.

~*~

Bella did an amazing job of avoiding me all week. She spent more time at my parent's house this week than all the time _I_ was here in the last five years combined. And yet somehow she managed to skirt around ever being in the same room with me at the same time; or at least never alone.

She was running from me. Something's never change, I suppose. Bella always _was_ a master at avoidance. Rosalie had confirmed that with all she had lain at my feet. The fact that she had expertly avoided any situation where it would be remotely possible for she and I to be in the same room alone for any length of time was maddening. It was infuriating.

The rehearsal for the wedding was later this afternoon and there would be no escaping me then. This would be the perfect opportunity to catch her unawares and possibly get her to myself. So I had devised a plan to do just that.

I ran my fingers through my hair, pacing around my room. My entire body twitched with frustration and the need to just talk to her. We had to have a real conversation, and soon_,_ there just was no other option. After the talk with Alice, however, I was unsure if _now_ was the right time to have _this_ discussion. I understood why Bella was afraid to talk with me; I really did but…..after what Alice and I spoke of this week.…

Hope surged through me that it may be possible to rebuild what I had so thoroughly destroyed with the decision to leave Bella. She was set to be the next star on the rodeo circuit. If she had spent every weekend waiting on me, what would have happened with her ambition's? I could not do that, I _would not_ do that to her. But had the effects of that decision been worth it? Saying it was _not_ worth it all would be an understatement of epic proportion. Yet I knew I could have never asked Bella to alter her life path and put her dreams on hold for mine.

I would make my move tonight, when I was assured she could no longer avoid me. As that decision solidified in my mind images of the last week began flashing like a bad movie on loop.

_The day before:_

"So you want me to stay at your place instead?" I heard my sister's voice as I reached the door of the kitchen. I stopped before I entered the room, knowing that Bella was here and most likely to whom Alice was speaking. My assumption was confirmed when Bella's soft reply wafted to me.

"Uh…well yeah, I mean think about it. You and Jazz live here. So how is that going to work with your whole 'following tradition' thing? You know it was your idea to not see each other until the wedding, right?"

Damn that little trickster. She was doing her best to get out of staying here in the house. I guess she knew she couldn't keep running if we were under the same roof for that many hours. I eavesdropped a bit more amazed at how cunning the little vixen really was.

"Yeah." Alice answered cautiously. I have a feeling she realized what Bella was up to as well, but she didn't call her out on it.

"Well, if you're both in the house, together.…"she trailed off. _Damn_she's crafty! "You know that you're bound to run into one another so……" her voice trailed off yet again.

"So you're thinking that by staying at your house Jasper and I for sure won't see each other? Is that what you're saying?" I could hear the suspicion in my sister's voice. She was on to her, and I smiled thinking that Alice was not going to be talked in to changing her plans two days before the wedding.

"Okay."

_WHAT?!_

I stepped into the room at that point, shooting a murderous glare at my backstabbing sister. How could she let Bella talk her into not staying here?

"Oh, hi brother dear," Alice quirked an eyebrow at me, "I had no idea you were home. I thought you were riding out with Jasper to do some fence work today." I noticed Bella stiffen at Alice's acknowledgement of my presence. Her back was to me so she had not realized I was in the room.

I stood, mouth agape, because at that moment I realized that Alice had been aware of my eavesdropping and that she had conceded to the change in plans on purpose. Why would she _do_ that?

I snapped my mouth closed, wrenching open the refrigerator and grabbing grabbed a beer.

"Yeah I was, but Paul had already repaired the section Jasper needed my help with, so…." I trailed off, turning up my bottle and taking a long pull, I caught Bella staring at me. As soon as our eyes met she dropped her gaze to the counter top.

"Hello Bella." I greeted with a small smile, hoping she would return it, or at least not run out of the room.

"Hi," she replied simply but when she looked at me I saw a look of determnation in her eyes. I don't know if that made me feel better or if it scared the hell out of me.

A heavy blanket of tension hung over us in the large room, making the room feel cramped and small. And much to my dismay she walked from the room after the hesitant greeting without as much as a backwards glance in my direction.

_What._ _The._ _Hell?_

I quirked an eyebrow at Alice, who gave me a slight shrug of her shoulder and shook her head before following Bella out of the room. I didn't see Bella or Alice again for the rest of the day.

I caught up with the little fairy later that night as she and Jasper were watching a movie I knew for a fact she could recite line for line. Our parents had gone out to dinner with Charlie and Renee, so it was just the three of us in the house.

"Dear God woman, how many times have you watched that movie? And why are you torturing Jasper with watching it again?" I teased as I took a seat in the armchair facing the big screen TV over the mantle. I always loved this room. There were overstuffed armchairs and a plush oversized couch to ensure that whoever was occupying the room was more than comfortable.

"I must love her, cause I sure to shit wouldn't be watching this otherwise." I heard Jasper mutter under his breath. Earning a glare from my small but fierce little sister.

"What did you say?" Alice questioned.

"Huh? Oh....uh nothing darlin' I was...nothing," Jasper stammered trying to cover getting busted for admitting he did not want to watch the movie any more than I thought he would.

Alice turned her deep blue eyes on me. Giving me the same look she had thrown at Jasper. Shaking her finger in my face.

"Shut up, Edward! This is the best movie ever! How can you not see that this movie is a classic? UGH! You, brother dear, are impossible." And with that she stuck her tongue out at me like a five year old.

"Really, Alice? That was so mature." I laughed. But my smile quickly fell as the reason for needing to talk to Alice came to the forefront of my mind.

"Alice….I need some advice,." I began, not really sure what to even say. I was unsure of how to proceed with asking her advice about talking with Bella, and I was completely at a loss as to how to get Bella to talk to me. I mean, I couldn't even get her to stay in the same room with me, how the hell was I gonna manage speaking with her?

She slowly turned her head, looking me straight in the eye, and a shiver ran down my spine at the intensity of her stare.

"You want advice from me, brother dear? Really? Huh, well that's quite the switch don't you think?" She paused, looking at Jasper as though she were asking him the question. "It's funny that you are asking my advice about any subject, considering, if you will, that for the last two years you've barely kept in contact with me. Outside of the occasional email of course, oh and the Christmas presents that were shipped in, because you were just "too swamped at the clinic" to come home." Making little air quotes as she stared me down. Finally calling me out on all my bullshit for the last two years, I shook my head at the stupidity of my actions. I knew she was right. I had been an insufferable bastard in the way I had treated my entire family. I also knew there was really nothing I could do about how I had acted toward all those I held dear. All I could do, especially at this moment, was apologize for my actions, _again_. Hope that making the changes I was working on would prove to everyone how serious I was about making everything right once again.

"Alice….I am so sorry for how I have acted in the last few years. You can't know how sorry I am, but there's really nothing, outside of giving that lame ass apology, that I can do. I just hope that my actions from here on out will prove how much I regret treating you all in the way I have."

I watched Alice's expression as it softened and I knew that, though I wasn't completely forgiven, I would be soon. I smiled at my sister, a true genuine smile as she reached out, taking my hand in hers and squeezing tightly.

I leaned back in the chair closing my eyes and wishing it were that easy to gain Bella's forgiveness, or at least start the process, but that was not something that would be so easily acquired.

"Alice….what the hell am I supposed to do? I mean….UGH!" I fisted a hand in my hair; the frustration of this week was really getting the best of me. "I have tried all damn week to talk to that woman and I can't get her to stay in a room with me for any length of time. And forget it if it might be possible that we would be in said room alone. _Gah_! It's so damn frustrating. I mean…." I was completely exasperated and running out of ideas as to how to get the time I needed alone with Bella. How would I ever get through to her if there was no time when I could actually talk to her, try to explain?

"Edward…." I heard Alice call my name but I could not stop my verbal diarrhea, and it just all spilled out.

"And now…..now I thought I would be able to talk with her because she was supposed to be staying in the house with you tomorrow night." I could not sit still and shot up out of the chair to pace around the room. "But no…..is she going to be here? Oh no, no she's not because you let her talk you into staying at _her _house. _God_!

"Alice, how the hell am I supposed to talk to her now?" I was furious, not at my sister, because I had no right to be angry with her. And I wasn't angry with Bella either; I knew what she was doing as soon as I overheard the conversation. I just could not contain the anger building up inside me at this whole fucked up situation. And I very much knew that I was completely to blame, but that did not change the fact that it pissed me off all the same.

"Edward…." I could hear the emotion in Alice's voice as she called my name, trying to draw me out of my rant. I turned on what must have been my twentieth pass around the room and looked at my sister. "She's terrified of you. Can you not understand that? After everything that you've found out, knowing what you know now about the last year for Bella, can you not see why she would run from you?"

I met her tear filled eyes and knew she was speaking the truth, much more of the truth than I wanted to admit to myself. Why was it that I continued to be such a selfish bastard? I released a breath I had not realized I was holding, my head dropping in defeat. Alice was right, of course. Bella _was_ afraid of me. I had done nothing but cause her pain, add to that the deplorable ass I had been since coming home.… Hell _I _would not want to be in the same room with myself, if it were possible to accomplish.

"I know, Alice, and I can understand that. She has every right to be pissed at me or to not want to be anywhere within a ten mile radius of me. Once I get to explain…..to just tell her that what I did was a mistake. Well, then if she can't love me….." I swallowed the lump in my throat at the very real possibility that Bella would not give me a chance to make things right between us. "I have to make her understand what a stupid, selfish bastard I have been. I have no right to ask her to forgive me, Alice….but, I can't live my life without her any longer."

"Edward, sit down. I think there's more that you need to know, and I think you need to hear this now. I've debated on whether you should ever know and honestly it's not my story to tell. Really, if you were to ever hear what I'm about to tell you it should come from Bella……but Edward, before you talk to her you really should know the whole story." She turned to look at Jasper and he nodded his head in acknowledgement of what she was about to do.

I sat down in the armchair I had vacated a short time ago. Leaning forward, elbows resting on my knees, I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Edward, why do you think Bella is so afraid to talk to you?"

"What the hell are you talking about, Alice? I-I can understand why she doesn't want to talk to me. I….hell, if I were her I wouldn't want to talk to me either." I was completely confused as to the meaning of her question.

"Yes, well that may be true and without a doubt you've made things much worse than they already were with the way you've been acting toward her. But there's more to it than that….I know Rose told you the sordid details of Bella losing the baby, and about her surgery. I know she told you about how Bella caught Tyler and Tanya in bed. But did she tell you the rest of the story?" My eyes snapped open and I looked up at Alice, completely confused by what she was saying. How much more could there be? Was it not horrid enough what had happened to Bella?

"What are you talking about? How the hell could there be _more _to the story?" Good lord, was there no end to the suffering Bella had endured? I scrubbed my face with both my hands and tried to prepare for what Alice was going to lay on me. I wasn't sure there even _was_ a way to prepare myself for what she had to say.

"How much did Rose actually tell you about the day Bella lost the baby?" I could see Alice's thoughts formulating, as she asked me this question.

"She.....she told me about the baby…." I paused, sick with the thought of the pain Bella had endured in losing her child. "There were complications, the baby was too early and they couldn't save it. And about the surgery...." my voice trailing off, unable to wrap my head around the realization that Alice held more secrets of Bella's life. How had she survived?

"Alice..." I choked out, "how much more could there be? I..." Dropping my head into my hands, I fisted my fingers into my hair. My heart was pounding in my chest with the anxiety of what Alice's next words would bring.

"Well…..yeah, that's pretty much the summary of events. But…._God_!" Alice paused, taking a few deep breaths. Jasper wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him.

"Like I said, I'm not even sure I should be telling you this, Edward. I'm breaking a promise to Bella by doing so…..but you need to know. You need to understand…." Her voice trailed off as she tried to compose herself again.

"Rose told you how bad things got for Bella after she lost the baby, and when she found out about the affair….God, Edward… she didn't tell any of us for weeks after she caught them. We just knew that Tyler had moved out, she wouldn't ask for help from anyone. You know how stubborn she can be. But…..when she lost the baby it was like the light had left her. She really hit rock bottom, Edward." Alice shook her head as though she were trying to clear the memories of those months of Bella's suffering. "The day Bella lost the baby she was here with Jasper and I." Alice looked at Jasper for reassurance and he placed a kiss on her forehead, whispering something to her I could not hear.

"That day, she had come over here to look at some new horses that Jasper and Carlisle purchased at an auction in Kentucky the week before. She was doing so well. She hadn't had any complications as far as anyone knew, not that she really tells anybody anything, but still… she was doing well. So she and Jasper had walked down to the turn out corral. They were discussing the whatever those two discuss when it comes to that kind of stuff, you remember how they get." She smiled at me and I nodded my head but couldn't return the smile. I did remember how they would discuss bloodlines and argue over which was better for performance and which were made for speed. It was exhausting keeping up with the two of them when they got into one of their epic discussions.

"So, they were standing just outside the corral talking about things. I was coming out of the house when I saw Bella double over. She grabbed her stomach and Jasper's arm at the same time. She screamed in a way I have never heard anyone scream before. God, Edward…..it scared the hell out of me. She just stood there screaming and the next thing we knew she was bleeding. She had worn this pair of gym shorts, she really wasn't big enough for maternity clothes but was too big to fit in her regular stuff.

"Anyway, she started bleeding and she was still screaming. I ran to her but Jasper had her scooped up and heading for the truck before I could even get three feet. So we rushed her to the emergency room.

"We called everybody; Rose and Em, her parents. Mom and dad were in the truck with us. We tried for hours to get in touch with Tyler but he wasn't answering his cell. I'm sure that he was off fucking Tanya but at the time we didn't know where he was. We just couldn't find him." Alice paused for only a moment before continuing.

"When we got to the hospital she was still bleeding terribly…..it was awful, Edward. There was just…..it was just awful." She looked at me with tears in her eyes and I shuddered at the visions of how truly horrendous it must have been.

"When we got there, dad jumped out to grab a wheelchair but Jazz just grabbed her and carried her through the doors, screaming for somebody to help her."

I looked at Jasper, then, for the first time since Alice had began this part of the horror story. When he looked me in the eye I understood all his protectiveness of Bella more now than I believe I ever could have. She had almost died in his arms, or at least he felt she was going to and there was nothing he could have done to stop it. A cold chill ran down my spine and I shuddered at the thought of what they had all gone through that day.

"So, finally a doctor came into the little room where we all were waiting because they kicked us out so they could take care of Bella. By the time the doctor came in to talk to us, Em and Rose had made it there. You know Charlie and Renee weren't here, they were still in Corpus but they hopped on the first flight they could get…..the doctor said that she had lost the baby….that they couldn't save it." Alice was openly crying now, not. She wasn't even trying to hold back any more, and I could feel the tears burning behind my eyes as well. I rubbed at my eyes with the heels of my hands, trying in vain to hold on to the control of my emotions.

"Edward, when he told us they couldn't save the baby…. I thought Em was going to lose it. He was almost inconsolable. He knew how much that baby meant to Bella. He knew what that would do to her. To lose it. It was all Rose could do to hold him together. But then……then the doctor told us that they couldn't stop the bleeding and that the only option was for her to go to surgery, that there wasn't any other choice.

"We still hadn't heard from Tyler; I had tried to call him several more had all but put an APB out on him. I mean, his baby had just died, his wife was going in for surgery and the son of a bitch was nowhere to be found."

I felt the bile rise up from my stomach, gagging me, as a cold fury spread throughout my body at the knowledge that that the motherfucker had left Bella alone while he was assuredly screwing his mistress. All while she was fighting for her life and after losing her only child.

"They rolled Bella out of the emergency room and we got to see her for like a split second before they were gone with her…..she looked so worn out, she wasn't really even awake. She had lost so much blood already, and there were tubes coming out everywhere." Alice took a deep breath, and I did the same trying to control the trembling in my body.

I thought what Rosalie told me was terrible but that was a walk in the park compared to the horror show Alice was spinning. To know that Bella had gone through this….. had come so close to not surviving; I could not wrap my mind around all that she had overcome. I was completely speechless.

"We were in the surgical waiting room for what felt like hours…..and we still had not heard from Tyler. It really was only about an hour and a half but it was the longest goddamned hour and half of my whole life. The doctor finally came out again and said that she made it through surgery just fine. Everything had gone well, all things considering, and we could see her shortly."

I could not contain the strangled sob that escaped me at that moment. There was no way that I could hold the emotions in, it was all so horrible. I could not have felt guiltier for letting Bella down if I had been Tyler.

"Alice….Oh God…." I did not know if I could stand any more of this torture…

"Edward, I'm sorry. I realize that this is really hard for you, especially now, knowing that you still care so much for her." Alice gave me a sympathetic look and continued spinning this horror movie. "I don't want to hurt you but…. you need to know what happened, and I don't know if Bella would ever tell you. And, honestly, there's a lot of it she doesn't even know."

She paused, taking a deep breath, composing her emotions. "So, a while later Bella was finally awake enough and they moved her out of recovery and into a room." Alice paused again, looking at me with, if it were possible, even more sympathy than she was before.

"So Bella was finally in her own room and she was awake, I guess. She was still pretty incoherent and was in and out of consciousness. Rose and I were the only ones in the room with her…..everyone had gone to grab something to eat in the cafeteria." Alice cleared her throat and shifted uncomfortably on the couch. God, what else could there be after all that_, _that was making Alice uncomfortable?

"Oh, Edward….." Her breath caught on a sob. "Bella was so restless, she was sleeping and then she started whimpering. She was on some really heavy duty pain meds at that point and the anesthesia hadn't really worn out of her system…..but she wasn't asleep really, she was kind of awake and she….."Another sob escaped her and Jasper took her into his arms, trying to console her. When she had calmed down a bit she continued.

"She was awake, but not really…..she was so doped up she was kind of in-between, but she started murmuring something. Rose was standing near her bed and she asked Bella what she was saying….." Alice took a long, deep breath and looked straight into my eyes when she delivered the next words. "She was calling your name Edward. Just over and over saying your name, then she asked Rose why this had happened to her. Why she had lost her baby. She wanted to know what happened. Then….she started crying and she looked straight at me, Edward….she looked straight at me and asked me why you didn't want her. Why you didn't love her anymore. How could you could leave her and let this happen to her…"

I felt as though I had been punched. I couldn't catch my breath…..the damage that I had done to this woman was immeasurable. No wonder she didn't want to be around me, she blamed me for what had happened to her. She blamed me because I had left her; I had thrown her away and let that sorry excuse for a man have her. The fiery pits of hell were too good for me. There was no way I could ever make this right. Alice informed me that Tyler didn't show up at the hospital until late that night, with an excuse he had misplaced his phone so he had no idea that they were trying to reach him. I could not understand how he could be so flippant about his wife and child. I would have had my phone surgical attached to my side if it meant being there when Bella needed me. Had I not left her she would have never…..

"Edward, listen to me. There is so much of that she doesn't remember. She was doped up….she just lost her baby and she was only a few hours out of surgery. The reason I told you all of that was because I think you need to know her feelings for you are there. But you also need to know what she went through, the whole story. We've all kept it from you long enough, you needed to know. Bella's feelings for you have always been there. They may be buried really deep, but they're there. And you need to stop what you're thinking right now." Alice was on her knees in front of me, the saddest look on her face. "She doesn't blame you Edward. So you need to just drop that shit right now! Taking on the responsibility for the horrible things that happened to Bella is not going to help you fix what you once had. Bella didn't want us to tell you because she thought you had moved on as well. You weren't here so….she figured you had your own life going on. She didn't want you doing exactly what you're doing now. Tyler was incredibly horrible to her at the end but he wasn't always that way. He was really good at manipulating Bella." Alice shook her head, looking down at her hands clasped in her lap. "Bella is afraid because she doesn't trust you, Edward. Tyler effectively turned her inside out and tore every bit of trust she had for a man into tiny shreds. Bella has kept a lot of things bottled up over the last year. You know she's really good at avoiding situations like this. I think that's probably why Tyler could manipulate her so easily. You broke her heart Edward." Alice turned her gaze back on me, looking deep in my eyes. "Don't get me wrong. She was devastated when you left. And she made a lot of decisions because she thought you no longer cared for her. Bella closed a part of her heart off and made us all believe she had moved on. Because she still cared for you Edward. I know in my heart she loves you. But Bella's head is telling her to run just as fast and as far as she can get from you, because she does care and that scares the shit out of her. Your mission is to figure out how to get her to listen with her heart." Alice stood, kissed me on the cheek, and then she and Jasper left the room. Leaving me to digest the grisly details of Bella's life over the last year and make a plan for how to move forward. I understood so much better why she would be running scared from me. She had every reason to want to avoid me, to never want me in any part of her life. And I understood that she was pissed at me for my asstard way of behaving since I came home. But knowing that somewhere in her heart a little bit of feeling for me remained,gave me hope.

That knowledge gave me hope of success with my plan to talk with her tonight to maybe at least open a door. I could not, and did not, expect her to take me in her arms and everything would be forgotten. I prayed that Bella would hear what I was saying and to give me the chance to change the mistakes of our past. Checking my watch, I realized that there was only an hour before the rehearsal would begin. I had to get dressed and prepare myself for the night ahead.

~*~

I couldn't take it for one more second. The rehearsal dinner had only just finished. The wedding party, along with our families and several friends Jasper and Alice had invited, milled around talking in small groups. Esme and Alice were flitting between each group speaking with their guests for a few seconds then moving on to the next group. I chuckled, shaking my head at my mother and sister. Always the cordial hostesses, those two were a force to be reckoned with. I spotted her, Bella, speaking with one of the servers near the tables which held the multitude of delicacies hand prepared by Alice and Esme, and I moved in her direction..

I had her now; she couldn't run from me here. She wouldn't risk making a scene in front of so many people. As she stood with her back to me, my eyes swept over her body appreciatively. I don't know how it was possible but she had only grown more beautiful in the years we were apart. Though she was petite, her body had changed in ways that should be illegal. The hours in the saddle had toned her body in ways I didn't remember. Her hips curved deliciously, tapering into the most stunning long legs I had ever had privilege to admire. _Damn!_ She had those shoes on again. My body instantly reacted, my pants becoming increasingly uncomfortable. I had suddenly turned into a prepubescent teenager at just the proximity of this woman.

Placing a hand on the small of her back I felt her body stiffen as she realized there was no escape this time, and I leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Bella, you can't run from me forever. Though, darlin', you've done a hell of a job so far.

"Excuse us, ma'am, I need to steal this beautiful lady away from you. My apologies." I smiled at the server Bella was speaking with.

Bella turned and looked up at me with eyes as wide as saucers. She audibly swallowed and I smirked at her.

_Gotcha! Can't run from me any longer, Love._

Snaking an arm around her waist, resting my hand on her hip, I pulled her into my side and led her away from the tent. We walked silently onto the Veranda and I guided her into the family room.

"Edward? Where are we going?" Her voice cracked and I could feel the tremble in her body.

"We need to talk, Bella, but I want to do something first. Can you just bear with me for a moment? Please?"

"Edward, I don't…." Her voice trailed off as she looked up at me.

"Bella. I just…I need to talk to you. I know you don't want to do this….but we really need to talk and I can't wait any longer. But I need to do something first, okay? "

Bella searched my face looking for something, some sign that I would let her out of this I am sure. When she seemed to find that I was not going to drop this, there was no getting away from the things I needed to say to her, she closed her eyes and spoke.

"Okay, Edward. I know….I just….." Her voice barely a whisper, she gave an imperceptible nod as her acceptance of the fact we needed this.

She opened her eyes again and they were wide with anxiety, her breathing shallow. We continued through the family room and down a short hallway. This room was one of the few places I had always found peace, and after my talk with Esme in this very room, I had begun to find a small piece of that again. I needed to show Bella that I was on that road. I had finally made it back to a place where I could begin making amends for the wrongs I had committed. Even having the knowledge provided with Alice's confession I just hoped I wasn't too late, because God knows I had wasted enough time.

I had no right to ask this of her, and she'd definitely had enough pain in her life. I just could not let her slip away again, could not let it go, let _her_ go, without her knowing the truth. I had to make Bella understand that without her to make my family whole, there was nothing. Bella was my life, my reason for waking in the morning. I had to make sure she knew this regardless of whether she could accept it now. I would make sure she heard it and knew that I meant every word of what I was going to tell her. I wanted, no _needed_, to make this right with Bella. If she still _could not_ love me, well… I would cross that bridge if I ever came to it. But I was tired of hiding, of ignoring and pushing away my feelings. I planned on doing everything I could to make her mine again. This was just the first step in that direction.

I turned the knob, opening the door to one of my childhood sanctuaries.

I heard Bella's small gasp and looked down at her as tears welled in her eyes. She had the strangest look upon her face. It was a mixture of fear and acceptance. I don't think she realized where I had led her until I opened the door to the music room. Bella knew the layout of my parent's house as well as I did but I believe the anxiety of the past week was clouding her mind at the present moment.

I took her hand and walked directly to the piano in the center of the room. I took my seat on the bench and was about to pull her down to sit next to me, when she resisted. I looked up into her eyes and there was so much fear and uncertainty in her expression my heart broke a little more with the knowledge of the role I had played in putting it there.

She shook her head, her free hand covering her mouth, but I could see she held her bottom lip between her teeth. Releasing my hand she crossed the room and sat on the sofa, the same place Esme had sat not so long ago while I played. I understood her hesitance at sitting on the piano bench with me. In years past that had been something that we shared; it was intimate and special. I should have thought that asking her to do so now would have been too much now, but I could not help that a part of me hoped she would want to still.

Her head was bowed, her arms wrapped around her abdomen in a posture I remembered well. When she was nervous or upset she would wrap her arms around her, almost as though she was holding herself together. She shut everything out and just endured whatever it was she had to, until everything was over. It was her way of coping with things she just wasn't ready to process. Her only reply would be "_I'm fine"_ when clearly she was not _fine_. I glanced at her one more time, _my Bella. _I could only pray that this would go over much better than the last time. I hoped that this time it would get through to Bella, that the music would tell her what I could not. Taking a deep breath, placing my fingers on the keys, the music filled the room and I began to sing.

_What have I got to do to make you love me_  
_What have I got to do to make you care_  
_What do I do when lightning strikes me_  
_And I wake to find that you're not there_

_What do I do to make you want me_  
_What have I got to do to be heard_  
_What do I say when it's all over_  
_And sorry seems to be the hardest word_

_Its sad, so sad_  
_Its a sad, sad situation_  
_And its getting more and more absurd_  
_Its sad, so sad_  
_Why cant we talk it over_  
_Oh it seems to me_  
_That sorry seems to be the hardest word_

_What do I do to make you love me_  
_What have I got to do to be heard_  
_What do I do when lightning strikes me_  
_What have I got to do_  
_What have I got to do_  
_When sorry seems to be the hardest word_

I heard her sob, and before I had a conscious thought I had crossed the room, pulling her into my arms and holding her tightly to me.

"God….Bella, I don't even know where to begin….how to say what I need to say to you." I whispered.

"Shhh….." I tried to soothe her, stroking her back while continuing to whisper in her ear. .

"Bella….I am so sorry." I swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump that threatened to choke me, to cut off my words.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her tiny body more tightly into mine. I was struggling to speak. I couldn't breathe and my heart was slamming against my ribs. I was apologizing to her in that moment for so many things, the least of which was having left her in the first place. Fisting one hand into the her long mahogany locks, I ran the other up her back, down her arm and back up before finally cupping her face. I traced the line of her jaw, reveling in the feel of her skin and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Her body relaxed and melded into me and I relished the feeling of having her in my arms like this again.

"Please, Bella…..please just let me try to make it right again." I begged as I looked into her eyes, our foreheads resting against one another, faces mere inches apart.

"I've made so many mistakes. Not all of them with you, Bella. But….dammit, I don't have the words to explain to you how monumentally I have regretted the one decision that brought all of this down on you."

How could I make her understand?

I didn't fully understand it myself, how I could have let my stubbornness and absolute tunnel vision, my complete unwillingness to admit that I was wrong keep me away from this woman for so long. I had let those things overtake my life and in the process I had inadvertently placed Bella on the path in which had brought her more pain than should be humanly possible to endure.

Rosalie and Alice wer right about many things but at this moment, with Bella in my arms, I realized they were strikingly correct about my continued self flagellation and regrets. Continuing down that path would be of no help to Bella or me. I had to let the guilt go and concentrate on making it right again.

"Oh God, Bella…..please just hear me when I tell you that I'm sorry, that I couldn't be more sorry for what you have been through. But…..I can't…..I can't be away from you any longer. I have wasted so much time, Bella…..and I understand if you can't……if you don't still feel anything for me." I had to stop, the pain at the very thought that she wouldn't still love me almost overtook me at that moment.

"But Bella, I can't, I _won't_ let this go one more day without telling you how much I still love you. How much I have always lo-"She cut me off before I could continue.

"Stop," she whispered, her eyes snapping shut.

"Bella…." I croaked, knowing I had pushed her too far.

_God! You just don't know when to quit do you?_

"I'm sor-"

"Stop!" She cut me off and stepped away from me slightly. My hands still framing her face, she wrapped her delicate fingers around my wrists and opened her eyes. They were swimming in unshed tears awaiting permission to fall.

"I…." She sucked in a stuttered breath. "I can't do this…..Edward…..not now…I just can't." Her voice was quivering. "Edward, I can't…..you can't tell me these things right now…please, Edward. I can't," she pleaded with her eyes and her words.

I knew in that I had moved too quickly, had pushed too far. I knew going into this I would have to tread lightly, and yet I couldn't stop myself in telling her I loved her. I needed her to know. This was a change in my plans for dealing with the repercussions of all that I had done, and all the things that Bella had endured. But I couldn't really regret telling her I loved her, though I could never regret that.

I knew I would have to take baby steps, and confessing my love for her at that moment was the polar opposite of going slow. I had every intention of making sure she listened, that she knew how much I had always loved her, but right now I had to reassure her that I was here. To let her know I wouldn't push her further than she was ready to accept.

"Okay, Bella….." I knew I had to back off for now. I had to step back, if only briefly, or I would never get the opportunity to make her believe the truth in my words.

"But…..Bella, don't hide from me again. Please. We _are_ going to talk, okay?" I waited, holding my breath, for her to assure me she would not run from me again. That we would talk, I wasn't going anywhere. She needed to know that.

I kissed her cheek and her eyes closed automatically, a stuttered breath escaping her lips.

"I have to go…."

_What? No!_

I panicked. I knew that would need the space between us too process what had happened tonight. I understood it but it scared me none the less. Our eyes locked and I could see the deer in the headlights look in hers. My heart screamed at me to hold on to her, to never let her go, but my mind was telling me that she needed to regroup, to process all the emotions assaulting her. The two halves of me were at war with one another. I finally nodded and kissed her cheek once more before releasing my hold on her.

I held my own emotions in check until Bell had left the room. When the door clicked to a close behind her I felt the tsunami of my emotions crash over me. I couldn't even catch a breath as I stumbled to the small loveseat, falling back as my knees buckled. I fisted both hands in my hair, a guttural soul- ripping growl escapinged me, both from the frustration and the pain. Bella was so close yet still so far away. How will could I ever get through to her?

* * *

**So? Thank you to all those of you who have alerted or favorited this story. I am overwhelmed by it really. Leave me some love. Let me know what your thoughts are.....teaser's for Ch 10 will be sent.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay so here it is....Bella's reaction to Edward's confessions and the wedding. **

**I want to say a quick thank you to all those who have read and reviewed this story. I have no words to thank you. The last two chapters have received the most reviews. Ch 9 received over 50 alone. Thank you so much. I'm completely blown away. **

**My thanks as always to Stavanger1. She's the bestest, and I love her dearly. To Jessica1971, I really can't put into words how much I thank you. Both these lovely ladies are just wonderful.**

**Mood Music: There's so many that I listened to for this chapter. 'Hasn't hit me yet' by Blue Rodeo. 'Behind these hazel eyes." by Kelly Clarkson. 'Why' by Jason Aldean. 'Pages' by 3 Doors Down. As well as the songs that are a part of the Wedding.**

**So as you all know SM owns...I just get to play with them.**

**

* * *

  
**

Chapter 10

BPOV

Dear God! Oh how I wanted to believe him; I wanted to believe what he had said was true. But I couldn't. My heart skipped a beat when I heard his strangled cry just as I closed the music room door. I laid my head against the door, wanting to feel as though I could go to him, to comfort him. I wanted to tell him that I believed him, but….I didn't. I swiped the tears away from my face. I couldn't wrap my head around what Edward had told me… and he played for me again, but it was so _different_ this time. I knew that the song he chose was from his heart, solidifying what he was trying to tell me.

I was in a daze, my mind swimming in all the emotions that were screaming at me, tearing me apart. I_ wanted_ to believe what he was saying. But….how could he have left me if he loved me? I mean I always knew he was a stubborn man, that he was prone to tunnel vision but….

_Why would he wait nine years to tell you he still loved you? _

No. I didn't want to think about that, not tonight. I needed to get through the wedding tomorrow, _then_ I could deal with this. I couldn't fall apart now; I had to make sure that I had a hold on myself for Alice. She deserved to have a beautiful day, and the drama building between me and Edward was going to make that impossible if I didn't control my emotions.

I found Alice in the tent set up for the reception, deep in conversation with her lead server. I'm sure she was giving last minute instructions on tomorrow's festivities and how she wanted everything to be just perfect. Most of the wedding party, along with the other guests, had already left, but Alice and Esme were still hard at work ensuring that all their ducks were in a row.

I caught a look from Rose, shaking my head at her quirked eyebrow, mouthing '_I'm fine'_. Placing a hand on Alice's arm to gain her attention, she turned to me with a full smile but it was quickly replaced with a look of concern when she actually looked at me.

"Bella….what happened?" she whispered as she pulled me to a quiet area behind one of the banquet tables.

"Alice, I'm fine. I just need to go, okay?"

"Bella, you are clearly not _fine._ What did he do _now_?" Alice's instant recognition that my tenuous hold on my emotions was most likely the responsibility of her brother was not a surprise.

"Alice….really, I just need to go. Are you still staying with me tonight?"

"Yes. But Bella, if he's done something to upset you this way….Ugh, I'm going to kill him." Alice threw her hands on her hips, scanning the tent trying to catch a glimpse of her brother, I'm sure.

"Listen. I don't want to talk about this right now, okay? Edward didn't _do _anything….I….no. Alice, this is about you and Jasper. Nothing else, okay?" Placing my hands on her shoulders I gave her a pointed look, effectively closing the subject. I knew there was no way I would get out of talking about the situation completely but hopefully she would be so distracted she would let it drop for now.

I pulled my cell out and sent a text to the one person I really needed to talk to right now.

_S, can u come over?_

_B_

I turned the key in the ignition and started down the driveway. My cell buzzed in record time with his reply.

_B there in 20._

_U okay?_

_S_

I couldn't help but smile, he was always there for me. Stopping at the end of the drive, I sent him another text.

_thx_

_not sure _

_B_

I was just sliding the key into the lock of the front door when I was suddenly awash with the lights from Seth's car.

I smiled and waited for him to join me before entering the house.

"Hey, Beautiful," Seth greeted, placing a kiss to my temple and throwing an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side.

"Hey." With a half smile I looked up at him.

"So…..what happened to have you calling in reinforcements at, let's see…." checking his non-existent watch, "well really late on the Friday night before your best girlfriends wedding? Where I know for a fact you were not going to be able to avoid Edward any longer?" He gave my shoulders a little squeeze and looked at me with a mischievous grin.

Shoving him away from me, I snorted a laugh.

"I have _not_ been avoiding him," I stated, but didn't meet his knowing gaze.

"Oh, really? Huh…..seems to me you've been running from that man like a scared rabbit. But maybe I'm wrong." Walking to the couch, he picked up the remote and flipped through several channels before plopping his big frame down on the end of the sofa, settling on watching ESPN while placing his feet on my coffee table.

"Shut up, smartass. I have not been running from Edward," I said, crossing my arms over my chest and scowling at the man sprawled out across my living room. I knew he was right, of course, but damn it I was not going to admit it.

"So what's up that you needed me to come over? Because judging by the look on your face I'm guessing more than wedding planning and rehearsing was going on at the Cullen's tonight. You going to tell me or is this going to be one of those teeth pulling events where I have to drag every detail out of you?" He smirked at me, knowing that I needed to talk, which just infuriated me because, well…..it just pissed me off that he knew me that well.

_Uh…didn't you call him over here to talk?_

Shut up! Yes I did, but still…..it pissed me off none the less.

"You want a beer?" I called over my shoulder as I opened the refrigerator and removed two, because I knew he would want one.

I handed him the opened bottle as I walked back into the living room.

"Thanks." He gave me a knowing look as he took the beer and turned back to the television.

"Um….I'm going to go change, can you hang out for a while?" I worried my bottom lip because I really did want to talk to him about what happened and I couldn't do that comfortably in the skirt I had worn to the rehearsal.

"Oh yeah," he replied, shifting his position on the couch to turn and look at me. "I'm here as long as you need Bella, you know that." He smiled that beautiful smile, making me realize even more how lucky I was to have met him and to call him my friend. He had stuck by me even after I had pushed the limits of our relationship and kissed him after returning from the camping trip. But true to form, he understood. He knew what was truly going on and because he's a good guy, because he truly cares for me, he stopped it before things got out of hand.

"Thanks, Seth….really."

I turned, walking down the hall to my bedroom. I was changed and back out in a pair of pajama pants and a tank top in less time than I expected. Throwing my hair up into a messy ponytail I threw myself on the couch and picked up my beer. I snuggled down into the opposite corner of the couch and took a deep breath.

"So, beautiful, are you going to fill me in on what happened tonight?"

I sat up, placing my bottle on the coffee table. I dropped my head into my hands, groaning, completely at a loss for where to start.

"God, Seth…..I don't even know where to begin…." I could feel the tears threatening to choke me and I swallowed the thick lump in my throat.

"Well, probably starting at the beginning would be my suggestion." My head snapped up at the sound of amusement in his voice.

"You know, I could really do without the smartass commentary," I snapped at him.

"Sorry, but come on Bella, you look like you're being led to slaughter. How bad could it have been, really? The way you've been running from him this week I doubt he had time to say much to you."

I groaned and threw myself back against the cushions of the couch, an arm over my eyes I began retelling what had happened during my conversation with Edward.

"Seth, you have no idea just how bad it is….I just….God!" I could feel the control I had worked up since walking out of the music room, leaving Edward there, was beginning to slip.

My head lolled on the back of the sofa and I met Seth's concerned gaze.

"He told me he still loves me…" A sob caught in my throat.

"Oh….come here beautiful." Seth reached over and pulled me into his arms. Resting my head on his chest I let the tears overtake me; I just couldn't hold it in any longer. The dam was bursting and there was no little boy to place his finger in the holes.

"Seth…..I just…..how could he tell me he loves me? How can I even…..what am I supposed to do with that?" I wiped the tears from my eyes and buried my head in his chest.

"Bella, sit up." He lifted me up and I shifted, crooking a leg underneath me. I reached for the tissue box on the sofa table, wiping my face furiously and blew my nose.

"Can I be totally honest with you here?" He gently grasped my chin, tilting my head up until I had no choice but to look him in the face.

"I know that it's really hard for you to believe that he loves you….I totally get that. Why would you believe him, right? I mean, I don't know the boy, but….just listen to me before you go off the deep end here," he warned as he obviously saw me gearing up for a rebuttal of his reasoning. I nodded my head and snapped my mouth shut. Huffing, I crossed my arms.

"Bella, I've been where you are to a degree." Seth hesitated as though he were gathering his thoughts, trying to make a decision as to what he wanted to say. "I had a girlfriend that I was completely head over heels for. I really thought she was the one. Honestly, I'm still not sure that she's _not_, but the point is she didn't see us that way. She wanted other things; she wasn't ready for the white picket fence, the two point five kids and all that shit. But what I'm trying to say to you is even after the years since she left…..if Jane walked through that door right now and told me she was wrong, that she still loved me? I wouldn't think twice about making sure she knew that she had finally made the right decision.

"Honey, from what I can tell about your Edward, he's a stubborn SOB and seems to me like he has a hard time admitting when he's wrong." I barked a laugh at that, because even though Seth had never officially met Edward he was spot on with that description.

"What are you saying to me, Seth? That I should just forget the last nine years? That I should just….what? Overlook the fact that he told me we were a mistake? That he didn't want to do _this_ anymore?" The tears were flowing down my face but I was too angry to care at this point.

"Seth, if he cared for me so much, why would he completely cut me out of his life like he did?" My voice was rising along with my temper. I jumped up off the couch and began pacing around the living room, the adrenaline from my ire making it impossible to sit still any longer.

I turned on Seth with all the fury I had pent up toward Edward and the completely fucked up situation that _he_ had created.

"Why, Seth? Why would you leave someone that you love like that? He….he could have been my friend even if he didn't want me anymore….I needed him Seth, when I….when Tyler….I always needed him….I loved him so much and he just…."

I closed my eyes, my hands fisted at my sides. I was just so angry and trying desperately to hold on to my control with a death grip. I was losing my mind. How could I let him do this to me again? I knew what he had said to me tonight was heartfelt. I also knew that if it were really true he would have never been able to leave me, to have stayed away this long, no matter how stubborn he may be. It just couldn't be…he couldn't have loved me and still walked away.

"Listen to me, Bella….I can't answer any of these questions for you. There's only one person that can and you know that. I'm going to tell you the same thing I told you before; talk to him. Tell him all of this….let him know what he's done to you. It's the only way to move past it, to leave it behind. If you talk to him and he doesn't give you the answers you're looking for, _then _you can decide where this is all going to lead. But at least you'll have some answers instead of a whole lot of questions that have been burnin' you up inside. That's a hell of a long time to carry around what you've been holding onto."

He placed a kiss on the top of my head and I sucked in deep breaths, hoping to calm the storm of emotions that were drowning me. I knew he was right; I would have to talk to Edward. I made a vow then that I would talk with him, but we had to get through the wedding first. I glanced at the clock on my mantle and realized that Alice would probably be walking in the door any minute. I took one more long breath, blowing it out, working to calm myself down.

"Alice should be here any minute. She's staying here tonight," I shrugged. "Some kind of attempt to stay away from Jazz until the wedding and since they both live on the Cullen ranch…." I smiled a half smile, but I knew it was forced and so did Seth by the look he shot me.

"Well, I guess then you'll be in good hands tonight." He chuckled as he leaned in and placed a kiss on my forehead.

"Yeah, I think me and the pixie have everything under control." I knew he was concerned. I also knew he was right. Edward and I had a lot of baggage to air out, and I needed some_ real_ answers.

"You think about what I said….it's the only way, Bella. Deep down you know that. It'll be alright, whatever happens. 'K?"

I nodded my head and, wrapping my arms around his waist, hugged him for being my friend and giving it to me straight when all I wanted to do was scream at someone. Seth really helped me get some perspective. It wasn't what I _wanted _to do, but I knew I needed to look at the issue with Edward with a clear head. I had to really think about what he said tonight with an open mind and not with the anger or hurt that I was feeling right now.

With one last kiss to the top of my head, Seth headed out the door with a promise to meet me at the Cullen's tomorrow afternoon. I was really glad he would still be accompanying me to the wedding. It made me feel a little stronger. If I knew he was there then I might just have a chance of making it through the day with my heart still intact, but I wasn't holding my breath…

~*~

"Come on! Bella, seriously, we have to go! NOW!" I heard Alice's shriek echo down the hallway. I saw her standing in the foyer, hands on her hips as I sauntered out of my bedroom, garment bag in hand.

"Oh my god, Bella! What the hell have you been _doing_? You know we have to be at the house in fifteen minutes…..UGH! We have to be there by eleven for hair and make-up. Then the photographer wanted to do pictures starting at three…." She continued ticking off all the tasks we had lined up prior to the ceremony as I slowly made my way into the kitchen. Pouring myself a cup of coffee, preparing it just the way I liked it, I took a long sip. I let out a frustrated groan as the hot liquid slid down my throat. I was not looking forward to this day for reasons that had nothing to do with the wedding and everything to do with one Edward Cullen. Alice had followed me into the kitchen and was still going strong with her list of things that had to be done today. It obviously was an endless list. I rolled my eyes, knowing that most everything she counted off was set and ready to go.

"Alice…."

Nothing, she continued in her own little world.

"Alice!" That finally stopped her. "Sorry, honey. Damn, take a breath. All that stuff will get done, most of what you've been ticking off the list in your head _is_ already done. You know that and the things that don't get done…well in twenty years it'll be stuff that you laugh about. So just take a breath and calm yourself. Besides…..Jasper's not going anywhere without you. And I need my coffee or I'm going to be grumpy as hell all day." I winked at her and she smiled.

"I know, Bella. I just want it to all be so perfect…..you know how I get."

"Yes, I do, and it's okay but you need to calm down and enjoy today. Okay?" Setting my coffee cup down, I put both my hands on her shoulders and looked straight in her eyes.

"You know what? This…this is why you are my best friend. I love you…now get your ass in gear 'cause we got a wedding to do today," she said as she laughed and twirled out of the room. I shook my head, picked up my travel mug and laughed at the whirlwind that is my friend.

We made it to the Cullen's in record time. With Alice's crazy ass driving I was surprised we were still in one piece. The house was always beautiful but today it was exceptional. The white columns were wrapped with tiny twinkle lights, as well as all of the trees surrounding the house. The backyard was a wonderland of fairytale proportions. The tent, which was set up for the rehearsal, had been completely redecorated.

There was a crystal chandelier hung from the center of the tent. Reaching out to each corner were long strands of various size twinkle lights. The large oak trees located near the tent had strands of larger lights and soft Japanese lanterns hanging from their branches. The guest table arrangements had been exchanged for large crystal vases. Hydrangeas, lilies and ivy adorned each table, surrounded by small crystal candle holders. Alice had freaked a few weeks ago because the birch bark she ordered for her table arrangements had been backordered. She made an emergency video conference with the florist and the new arrangements were stunning. The cake would sit just off to the side of the main tent, under a separate canopy of tulle and flowers. A dance floor had been assembled since last night and the band would be setting up shortly.

At the far end of the lawn was an archway, again draped with the same tulle and flowers, continuing the theme throughout the entire area. There were rows upon rows of white chairs. There were tall candle holders with huge cream colored candles standing sentry at every fifth row of chairs. Since the wedding was being held at twilight, the candles would cast a beautiful glow over the ceremony. There were more complimenting candelabras at the archway, where the ceremony would take place.

I stood on the veranda taking in the sights and sounds of the wedding preparations. Esme was talking with one of the servers who carried a large case of wine bottles on his way to stock the bar. I could see Carlisle and Charlie off on one side of the lawn; they seemed to be enjoying themselves already. Seth stood just to Charlie's left and I threw him a small wave when he looked up from their conversation. He faked a wolf whistle and mouthed the word 'hot' and I laughed and shook my head at his silliness. It was then that I caught a glimpse of bronze from the corner of my eye. Turning, I looked straight into the same piercing green eyes that haunted my dreams.

"Hello, Bella," Edward said with that crooked grin I loved so much.

I looked at this beautiful man standing before me; he was truly stunning. Edward was always a good looking man, but here, _now_, there was no more beautiful sight than him in a tuxedo.

I so desperately wanted to believe his words. Though he had been a true bastard the last few years, the Edward _I_ knew was there; I knew that in my heart. But that man was also the one who had the power to shatter my heart in a million tiny pieces.

I thought about the conversation I had with Seth last night, his words running through my head. _Tell him all of this….let him know what he's done to you. _

Could I ever tell him, _really_ tell him how much he hurt me? Edward had pleaded with me to let him in, to let him make amends for the wrongs he committed. Could I do that? Was I strong enough to find out whether his claim to still love me was real? This last year or so of my life was the most painful I ever experienced. Just when I felt that I was finally healing and could really begin to be a human again, this man walked back into my life. How could I trust him, _ever_? He was either lying to me now or he had lied in the past. I wasn't sure in which statement I would find the truth.

My confusion and hurt only increased with the knowledge that, one way or another, he_ lied_ to me. I was not sure which scared me more. If what he said last night was actually the truth, or the thought that what he said to me when he left was a lie, that he loved me even then but left me anyway… A breath caught in my throat at that thought. If he could have loved me then and still left me, then how could I ever let him back in?

I had lived with too many lies in my life. Swallowing all the lies Tyler had fed me, not just the few short years of our marriage but long before that. Turning my head when I knew that his stories were not adding up, until I could no longer ignore it and he brought that woman into _my_ bed.

I shook my head as those images flickered through my head. I heard Edward clear his throat and I looked at him quizzically. He shifted his weight from foot to foot, looking uncomfortable. It was then I realized I had not responded to his greeting.

"OH! Edward, I'm sorry….hi." He chuckled lightly, and my heart fluttered in my chest at the deep rumble of his laugh. I turned my head away from his gaze, embarrassed that I had stood there for god knows how long just staring off into space, lost in my thoughts. Regardless of the fact that I had been avoiding him all week as much as possible, after last night….. I really could not do that any longer. After the conversation I had with Seth I realized I didn't want to run anymore. I wanted to have a real discussion with him, I wanted answers. So what was stopping me?

_The fact that you're scared shitless of what he's going to tell you ring any bells?_

I rolled my eyes at myself. Because the fact was _that_ thought was exactly the reason I was avoiding the conversation that had to happen. I was terrified and not sure whether I wanted to hear what he had to say or not. I knew that my feelings for him were still alive and kicking, but could I be sure of his feelings ever again? And it unnerved me to no end knowing that he could still have such an effect on my body. I needed to tamp those reactions back down because I had not decided what I wanted at this point, though I knew in the deepest recesses of my heart I screamed for Edward, for his touch, for his love. But honestly, I was pissed off at him. I am no man's doormat. I may have made some extremely stupid decisions to turn my back on Tyler's extracurricular activities that were slapping me in the face, but once I knew what was going on I couldn't get him out of my house fast enough.

The thought that Edward seemed to think he could waltz back into my life, confess that he still had feelings for me, then expect me to… _what_? Roll over and thank him? I mean really, what was he playing at thinking he could say all those things to me? Did he just assume that by _finally _deciding he wanted me in his life, by claiming that he still loved me, that I would forgive him for walking out of my life? Forget how devastated I had been? Or maybe that I would tell him it was okay that he broke my heart and that I made a decision to marry a man that I only _thought_ I loved because I _knew _he no longer loved me? Is that what he wanted? How could he walk back into my life and decide _now_ that it was okay to say all these things to me?

Though… I could not, and did not, blame him for the loss of my baby or the failure of my marriage. Those were all on me. I took full responsibility for entering into a marriage with a man I did not love. Or at least not the way you should love your husband. I wanted to love Tyler like I loved……

_Like you loved the man standing before you?_

Please don't do that to me now. My feelings for Edward are not the issue. The problem was always _his_ feelings for _me_. The problem facing me now was how to deal with the declarations Edward made. Did he really still feel for me the way he wanted me to believe? Could I trust him again? Could I let him in my heart again?

I wasn't sure… the only thing I _was_ sure of was that I needed to know why he left. If he loved me so much how could he have let me walk away? How could he cut me out of his life so completely? Could I ever trust him? With that thought, the next realization came to me and almost knocked the wind out of me. Did I even _want_ to trust him? I did not understand him at all and it pissed me off.

_What do you want to do?_

I didn't know what I wanted. I only knew that when he came back home after so long, he was a complete bastard to me for no reason. I knew that I needed answers to all the questions swimming in my head and heart. Seth was correct in his assertion that Edward was the only one who could give me those answers. The problem still remained, though; would my heart survive the aftermath when I watched him walk out of my life again? Because I was sure that, regardless of getting the answers I needed if, I opened my heart to him he would eventually leave me_._

"Edward…" I hesitated, trying to control my emotions and knowing now was not the time to have this conversation. "We need to talk, and I want to but……. just not now. Not today, okay?"

I looked up to meet his eyes. I would not back down and I would have the answers I needed to move on with my life. We just needed to get through the ceremony and then we would talk. By moving on I was not sure if that would mean that I could believe Edward, or walk away from him forever. Whatever the outcome, once I got the answers I needed I would do what I had to do to get my life back.

"I can understand that, Bella…." Edward hesitated and looked out across the lawn. "But I meant what I said to you last night. We need the time to hash all this out, and I realize it's not going to be easy for you to hear what I have to say. I swear to you, Bella, I'm telling you the truth." Edward looked back into my eyes and my breath hitched when I saw the vulnerability there.

"Um….look, I really need to get back inside. I'll see you in a bit, okay?" I could only hold in the emotions warring inside me for so long, and standing here with him this close, I could not even think straight. I could hardly breathe. I was unsure which emotion was going to win out while standing there in his presence. I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to punch him in the throat. I wanted him to wrap me in his arms and never let me go. And the dichotomy of those desires was tearing me apart.

"Oh, yeah… I guess I better get down there and see if there's anything I can help with before we get this show on the road." He laughed lightly and reached out as though he was going to touch my face, but when I flinched away from him he froze. My heart ached as I watched the sadness sweep across his face and his eyes closed. Curling his hand into a fist, he dropped it to his side.

"Edward…." I whispered.

"No, Bella…… don't. I understand. I shouldn't have….." His velvet voice was softer than I had ever heard it before, then he turned and walked over to join Carlisle and the other men.

~*~

I stood at the altar watching as Carlisle led an ethereally beautiful Alice down the aisle. She seemed to radiate light and happiness. Her eyes were trained on only one person today, and I looked over from where I stood to take in the same expression on Jasper's face. Edward sat at the piano, which was positioned on a platform just behind where we all stood. He would be joining Jasper and Emmett once the ceremony began. I could not remember a time I had seen Alice look more beautiful. She truly was glowing. She and Jasper were binding themselves to the other half of their soul; it was a beautiful thing to witness.

Though my happiness for them was overwhelming me, I could not stop the pang of sadness that shot through me. Alice was positive of Jasper, his feelings for her evident. He would always stand by her and knew she would do the same. I never felt that. Well, that's not entirely true. I shook my head at the knowledge that I once felt it with Edward, but he had thoroughly destroyed any of those feeling.

I watched as Carlisle placed a gentle kiss on Alice's cheek, hugged her to him, and then gave her hand to Jasper. There was no stopping the tear that slid down my cheek. My tears were for their happiness, but they were also for what could have been for Edward and me. The life we _could _have lived, instead of the one that we _had_ lived… my decision of moving forward hinged on that realization. Did I want to move forward with my life, living it without Edward? Or could I find it somewhere in the shattered parts of my soul to forgive him, to accept him and believe what he was saying was true?

**EPOV**

"Damn woman, you're a married lady now!" Emmett laughed as he lifted my tiny sister off the ground, wrapping her in one of his infamous bear hugs.

"Emmett, put me down you idiot!" Alice laughed, slapping him on the shoulder.

"Yeah man, don't bruise my wife," Jasper drawled as he wrapped his arm around Alice's waist, pulling her into him and bending down to place a kiss on her temple. Alice was all smiles. I did not think it was possible for her to be any happier.

"Come here, baby brother. " Rosalie hugged her brother tightly.

"Hey, I'm only the baby by a minute and half ya know." Jasper winked at her as he released her from his embrace. Rosalie wiped a stray tear from her eye. "I'm so happy for you both," I heard her say as she kissed Jasper's cheek.

"Alice, girl, I love you so much. Welcome to the family!" She then hugged Alice tightly, kissing her on both cheeks.

Just then I heard the voice of my angel.

"Jasper, Alice, congratulations! It was a beautiful ceremony. I told you everything would be fine," Bella laughed as she hugged Alice to her. They had gone over the preparations again and again all week. Bella was indefinitely trying to be the calm one, talking my sister down from numerous freak outs over every little detail, reminding her of the bigger picture.

I understood why Bella would be unsure of how to take my behavior recently, and after our encounters over the last week it was even more understandable. It still hurt that there was very little headway made in our interactions with one another, though. I knew that I may have pushed too fast, too quickly by telling her I still loved her, but I could not find it in me to regret saying those words to her. But it continued to seem like there was no way for me to make amends, not when she refused to let me in.

Learning what I had about her experiences and loss, I understood that she might never want me in her life again. My heart ached at that very real possibility. Bella had not once looked at me; keeping her eyes averted each time I tried to catch her attention. Would she truly never be able to forgive what I had done? How could I ever make her believe what I told her last night was true? Honestly, how could she believe me? It was a simple fact that she had to choose which scenario she would believe. Would she take the words I spoke so many years ago along with my actions over the years since and safely bet that those were words of truth? I could not blame her if that was her conclusion. I could only pray that she would allow me to prove my true feelings for her, to worship at her altar as I should have, instead of wasting the time pushing everyone out of my life.

A deep, male voice pulled me from my musings.

Seth shook hands with Jasper and bent to kiss Alice on the cheek, giving her a quick hug.

"Edward, have you met Bella's friend, Seth?" Emmett was the one to speak up, addressing the elephant in the room, so to speak. My body was tense. I had to quell the raging jealousy that was coursing through my body. Swallowing the bile that was at the back of my throat, I responded with calmness in my voice that belied the turmoil in my body.

"No, I haven't." I offered a hand to Seth. I would be lying if I didn't admit to the fact that we were sizing each other up.

"Well, Edward Cullen, this is Seth Clearwater. Seth Clearwater, Edward Cullen." Emmett handled the introductions like a seasoned moderator as he threw me a look, a warning to keep my smartass mouth shut. I had shown my ass more times than warranted recently, so I could not blame Emmett for feeling as though he must remind me to be on better behavior tonight.

"Nice to finally meet you, Edward. I've heard a lot about you." Seth took my hand with a firm grasp, looking me straight in the eye. I was not sure if his meaning behind the words was a warning or what, but the look on Bella's face after he said them had not escaped my attention.

"Uh….if you two are finished with your little pissing match here... Seth, I'd like to get a drink before we take our seats." She shot me a look of complete annoyance. Of course, Bella was right. Where did I get off thinking it was okay sizing up her date?

_She's not yours!_

Bella laid a hand on Seth's arm, gaining his attention. He acknowledged me with a nod and walked away with his arm around Bella's shoulders. I watched as they made their way to the bar.

I felt a big hand slap me on the back, and Emmett said "Man, I swear to you they're just friends. It's really not how it looks. But dude, the two of you need to straighten your shit out."

"Em, I have every intention of making sure that I never make those same mistakes. And I've tried talking to her, Em, she's not ready to hear what I have to say." I shook my head and looked over at my friend.

Emmett was always the jovial, happy go lucky goof of our group, but there were times when he could be serious. When he chose to be, he was a very intuitive person. He and Bella were very similar in that regard.

"Don't give up, man. She's been through the shit, you know that now. Just don't give up; she needs you more than even she knows. You know I love ya man, but don't hurt her again."

Emmett patted my back once more before taking Garrett from Rosalie and heading off in the same direction as Bella and Seth. Rose gave me a sad smile, placing a hand on my arm she whispered before following her husband, "She'll come around, Edward. Give her time."

~*~

"Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention please." Carlisle clinked his wine glass to gain everyone's attention, and when all eyes were on him he smiled, winking at Alice.

"I had planned on saying something poignant and I had a speech written out, but…" Carlisle cleared his throat as the emotions of today were clearly getting the best of him. Looking down at Alice, smiling at her, he continued. "Well, today I was faced with a situation that every father dreads from the day the doctors place that tiny pink bundle in your arms. I had to let go of my little girl. Alice, I realize that you're not a little girl, you're a married woman now, but don't ever forget that you will always be my little girl. Always." Carlisle bent to place a kiss on top of Alice's head. The tears were streaming down her face and I heard Esme's quiet sniffles and watched as she dabbed at the corner of her eye.

"And to Jasper….what can I say to you, son? You have been a part of this family all your life, the fact that it's now official changes nothing for the way we feel about you. You have and will always be another son to me. I love you both very much. Thank you, Jasper, for making my Alice such a happy woman. Love one another, be honest with one another, and I wish you nothing but beautiful days in your future together."

It was then Emmett's turn to share a toast. I looked over to catch the nervous look that washed over my sister's face. I chuckled to myself because she probably had good reason to be somewhat concerned. You just never knew what was going to come out of Emmett's mouth. The mountain of a man stood and, clearing his throat, smirked at Alice before picking up his wine glass.

"Well, Carlisle, that was really a beautiful toast. And, I guess those of you who know me realize that I am not as eloquent as Carlisle," Emmett chuckled. "But I do want to tell these two that," he winked at Alice, "there are no two people more perfect for one another. Jasper, Alice, I know you thought I would get up here and be my usual self but….today isn't for that. You two have begun a walk together, it's not easy but I know that you two will always be what the other needs. Jasper, brother, you have been my brother for more years than those since I married your sister." Emmett smiled at Rosalie, who took his hand in hers. "And now the little pixie is truly my sister. I want you to know that I love you both and I wish you only happiness. Congratulations." Emmett raised his glass in salute to the couple. I looked at my sister again and saw the tears in her eyes. My mother was also in tears, doing nothing to hide it as she stood and took Emmett in her arms for a hug.

I turned just as Bella stood to take her turn. Her signature blush was just beginning to kiss her cheeks, and I noticed her eyes were moist as well.

A soft lilting laugh escaped her perfect lips as she looked up, meeting my gaze. "Wow…..I have to say that I really didn't know my brother had all that in him." A laugh rose from the guests that were familiar with Emmett's usual inappropriate comments. "Emmett, I have to say that was possibly the most serious thing that has ever come out of your mouth. " Bella broke eye contact with me to look at her brother, a smile on her face. Turning her attention back to Jasper and Alice, she continued her speech. "It's funny, I've tried all week to put together the right words for what I would say tonight and nothing seemed appropriate for what I wanted to say to you two. So last night I decided that the best thing I could do was to speak to each of you from my heart." She dropped her eyes to look at the table for a moment, composing herself as her voice had begun to quiver as the emotions became overwhelming. When she began to speak again her voice was stronger and she looked straight at me, though she spoke to Jasper and Alice. "Many of your guests tonight don't know how you two have been here for me over the last year. There have been so many times that both of you came to my rescue and…..the way you've been my friend, and loved me through it all." She paused for only a moment, turning her gaze back to Jasper and Alice. "There are just no words for me to express how much you both mean to me. I can never thank you enough for simply being who you are. The two of you amaze me in your love for one another. Each of you completes the other and it's beautiful to see how you are truly two parts of one whole. I envy that….I'm so glad that you have one another. "

Bella turned her intense gaze upon me, once again looking straight into my soul as she spoke her next words. "I hope to someday find what you have. That one person that makes you whole, to know that your other half is safe and held inside the heart of the only person you could ever love completely. Love one another, be kind to one another, be honest and don't ever let each other go. I love you both. Congratulations, I wish you happiness and love for the rest of your days together."

I dropped my head. I knew that much of Bella's speech was directed at me, most especially the part about being honest and never letting each other go. I was neither with Bella. I was not honest in how I felt about her and I most certainly let her go.

It was then that the band's lead singer made the announcement that it was time for the bride and grooms first dance. Jasper stood, offering his hand to my sister, leading her onto the dance floor as the band began playing_ Amazed _byLonestar.

_Every time our eyes meet__  
__This feeling inside me__  
__Is almost more than I can take__  
__Baby when you touch me__  
__I can feel how much you love me__  
__And it just blows me away__  
__I've never been this close to anyone or anything__  
__I can hear your thoughts__  
__I can see your dreams_

My eyes locked with Bella's and the rest of the world melted away. The song was no longer for my sister and her new husband but for this woman who continued to hold my heart in her hands. We never broke eye contact as the song continued.

_I don't know how you do what you do__  
__I'm so in love with you__  
__It just keeps getting better__  
__I want to spend the rest of my life__  
__With you by my side__  
__Forever and ever__  
__Every little thing that you do__  
__Baby, I'm amazed by you_

Bella wasn't running, she was meeting me head on. Was that a positive sign? Did this mean she was ready to listen to what I had to say? I could only pray that she finally might allow me to explain my decision to let her go… I was not sure if there was a way to make things right, even after I explained my reasons for leaving, but I had faint hope. I needed that hope to make it through.

Bella continued to stare into my eyes as the song came to an end. I prayed that whatever she needed to see, she would find in my gaze. Jasper and Alice made their way back toward our table when Bella finally looked away as Seth whispered something in her ear; she smiled at him and nodded her head. I watched as Bella talked with Seth, laughed with him so easily, touching him with a familiarity that made my stomach turn and my heart clench.

Bella looked up and met my gaze again for a brief moment before turning to speak to Rosalie. I shifted in my seat under the uncomfortable feeling of nausea at the crumbling of my hopes for making Bella believe in me again. I wasn't sure she would ever give me the chance to prove to her I was making the changes within myself to be the man she needed. Remembering why I let her go all those years ago, my reasoning no longer carried the same weight it did when I was eighteen. And the decision to stay away from her, to cut her out of my life altogether, was even less convincing in hindsight of the actions of a man who loved a woman. Knowing what I knew now, they seemed even more selfish than before.

The band began the selection for the father daughter dance, _My Little Girl_ by Tim McGraw. Jasper handed his bride off to Carlisle and I watched as my father spun Alice around the dance floor. She was the picture of happiness and perfection, the way a bride should look on her wedding day.

"She really is a beautiful bride, isn't she?" Esme whispered in my ear as we watched my father and sister twirl on the dance floor. The errant thought of Bella dancing at her wedding with Charlie flitted through my mind, and the melancholy deepened with the images. I looked out, taking in the scene of my father and sister in rapt happiness. As the song ended, Carlisle placed a gentle kiss on Alice's forehead and smiled at her. I could see the emotion on his face; he was doing his best to rein it in. Carlisle and Alice turned, making their way back to join us at our table.

"Yes, she really is. She's happy," I agreed. "Would you like to dance?" I stood and offered my hand for Esme.

"Oh darling, I thought you'd never ask," Esme giggled, taking my hand. I led her onto the floor and we began a slow waltz. Esme had made sure that Alice and I took dance lessons when we were kids. This had been something that her sister, my real mother, had begun before her death and Esme had continued when I came to live with them permanently.

From the corner of my eye, I watched as Seth led Bella onto the floor as well. Everyone, including Emmett, had assured me that she and Seth were nothing more than friends. I wanted that to be true, but there was no way I could fight the jealousy choking me. It overtook every fiber of my body.

"Edward, child, if you don't stop glaring at that boy like that, you're never going to get on Bella's good side," Esme scolded.

I looked at my mother, a sly smile playing at her lips. Esme and I continued to dance as I was lost in my thoughts of Bella and how I would get her to listen to me, to at least tell her the truth before she decided to walk out of my life forever. I bent and kissed Esme on the cheek when the song ended, leading her back to our table. I made a split second decision and, most likely, if I had thought about my next actions I would have stopped myself.

"Dance with me?" I whispered.

Bella looked at me, her eyes wide as fear, sadness, and quite possibly anger crossed her face before she nodded slightly. Placing my hand on the small of her back, I led her to the dance floor.

"You look amazing tonight, Bella," I whispered in her ear as we stepped onto the floor and I wrapped my arms around her. I pulled her body tightly into mine, relishing in the feeling of her this close, in my arms where she belonged.

There were so many things we needed to say to one another, and all of the things I wanted to tell her were running through my head. But… in this moment it was enough just to hold her. The familiarity of her in my arms made my heart ache for what we once had, for what _I_ had thrown away. I burned for what we could rebuild, if she would only let me. I ached for the chance to be the one she gave her love to, _again_.

I would get down on my hands and knees and fucking beg this woman to give me another chance if that's what it took to gain her forgiveness, to gain a second chance. Though I knew this wasn't the time, I could not stop the words from tumbling forth.

"Bella….please, I know that I don't deserve a second chance. But can you-"

"Don't, please," she whispered in a barely audible voice. "I can't Edward, not now." I looked into her chocolate eyes, the tears brimming. I knew I was pushing the issue; I just could not stop myself. I had wasted so much time. The time away from her had been for naught and I did not want to spend any more not being with this woman, not worshipping her for the wonderful person that she was.

"I can't do this now, Edward…..I don't understand you. I don't…..just please don't ask me now to forgive you. I can't, not now. I lo -"She stopped herself. Whatever she was about to say had frightened her and she looked at me, her eyes wild. The hand resting on my shoulder tightened into a fist and she shook her head, closing her eyes and cutting me off from the emotions I could read there.

"Bella, I just need to explain. Just let me do that and then you can decide where we go from there?" I whispered as I tightened my arm around her waist, pulling her into me more closely.

"God, Edward, I am so angry with you. Please, don't ask this of me …….please don't ask. I know we need to talk, you have things you want to say and I have things I need answers to. But I can't…..I can't do it right now, okay? I can't say to you what I want, not right now. It hurts too much and I just can't…..I won't survive it when you change your mind again. I can't, I _won't_ be a _mistake_ that you're trying to rectify. I don't know what you expect but I...Just, not now Edward." Her body was trembling with the emotions. I was not sure if it was anger or fear or sadness, all of those had passed over her features before she closed her eyes.

My heart sank at the words she spoke. She truly thought I would walk away from her again, that I _could _walk away again. Without opening her eyes she shook her head again and pulled out of my arms just as the song came to an end, walking away without a backward glance. I stood in the middle of the dance floor, watching her as she made her way back to Seth's side. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and as I met his eyes I saw the look of sadness on his face as well. I could not stop the fear that gripped me as I watched her walk away with him this time.

* * *

**Soooo there it is....let me know what you think. Reviewers get a teaser for the next chapter.**

**So hit that little green button and show me some love. **

**And again thank you to all the ladies who have supported this story and me from the get go....**

**I am an author in the auction for the Support Stacie Auction. The bidding begins this weekend so head on over there and bid for your favorite authors. There are some amazing authors offering themselves up and it couldn't be for a better cause. Help us kick cancer's ass. The link for the Support Stacie Auction is on my profile. **

**Visit the thread over at Twilighted for discussions, and I post teasers for the next chapter every Monday and Wednesday, as well as answer questions. You can also follow me on Twitter at /bellasundrstudy**


	11. Chapter 11

**As many of you already know Jessica1971 has graciously accepted the job of taking on beta solely. And I just want to thank her again for giving me her time and taking on this job. Really can't thank you enough, for your awesome beta skills and just for the fact that I'm lucky enough to call you my friend. Have a safe trip next week. MWAH!!! **

**To Stavanger1 if you're reading this. I love you and my thoughts are with you bb!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the great Mrs. Meyer is that lucky woman. I just get to play with them.**

* * *

Chapter 11.

BPOV

I made my way off the dance floor, smiling and greeting random guests and friends. I looked straight into the face of my friend and felt his strong arm wrap around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. I felt his body tense and then relax, he nodded at something or someone but at the moment I couldn't find it in me to care who or what he was silently acknowledging. Seth had agreed to attend the wedding with me, but only after Alice had insisted that he was very much invited and she would be hurt if he was not at her wedding. He folded to the persuasions of the fairy princess. Really it was futile to resist, she always got her way.

"Hey beautiful," he whispered, "you alright?" Concern creasing his brow, he reached up and cupped my cheek in his large hand, wiping the single tear which had escaped against my will with the pad of his thumb and kissing my forehead. He led me away from the dance floor, where he had stood on its edges waiting to see what the consequences would be for agreeing to dance with Edward. Seth was such a good friend to me, always there to catch me when I stumbled and fell. It still amazed me that such a wonderful man had entered my life. And it worried me slightly that this man was in my life and I truly had no romantic feelings toward him at all, regardless of my indiscretion a few days ago. Thank god Seth was a gentleman and stopped that craziness before it got out of hand. My mind was in a bad place and I made a mistake in trying to take advantage of him. I said a prayer of thanks that he was such a good man.

"Oh…..yeah, I'm fine." I quickly slapped a smile on my face but I was pretty sure that he saw right through me. Seth knew me as well as anyone, probably _better_ than most. He gave me a pointed look, effectively letting me know that he didn't believe me for a second. He knew how I was struggling with my emotions over the situation with Edward. And although I wanted resolution, I was afraid of what that resolution would be, what it would mean for me and Edward.

I wanted with every fiber of my being to believe that Edward loved me, that he would always be here, but his actions of the past told me otherwise. I wanted his words to be enough but they just weren't. My heart ached with the knowledge that although he professed his love to me I could not take his words at face value. He also said he didn't love me any longer. He said that we were a mistake. So which words should I believe?

I wanted to believe the ones he spoke last night. I wanted to believe that his love for me was still alive, but…. Truth be told, the trust was gone. Replaced by the bitterness left by a husband who turned everything I had convinced myself to be true into a blatant lie, and by the pain of loving a man who with _his words_ proved that he did not love me.

"Seth…..I need a drink. Alice will be leaving shortly and I just…."

My body was shaking from the anger, hurt, and confusion. Where do we go from here? I truly wanted to clear the air between us. I wanted the entire situation over and done with, but I did not want to do it at Alice's wedding. This was not the appropriate place for the discussion he and I needed to have. I knew I would not be able to withhold my temper. There was sure to be yelling, and this was not the place to do that.

~*~

We all watched as the horse drawn carriage left with Jasper and Alice waving to their guests, laughing and kissing as they made their way down the long driveway of the Cullen's ranch. The love between them, palpable on a normal day, seemed to permeate every surface within a five mile radius today. Even as children the connection between them rivaled that funky twin thing that he and Rosalie had going on. Jasper and Rosalie could answer each other's questions before the other even finished speaking and they always seemed to know when the other needed something, even if it was as simple as a soft drink. It was just weird. He and Alice communicated with one another on a completely different plane of consciousness.

As I entered the kitchen the server's were packing the last of the dishes in boxes for transport. I heard giggling from behind me, and turned to find Renee and Esme, arms linked with one another. They were 'supervising' the clean-up efforts or at least I believe that had been the intention. Seemed to me the only thing they had been supervising was the emptying of few bottles of wine. I laughed and shook my head.

"What are you two up to in here?"

"Oh! Bella, darling wasn't the wedding just perfect?" Esme gushed.

Even after this incredibly long day, Esme was the picture of perfection. It was painfully obvious were Alice's energy and beauty came from.

"Yes it was, Esme. Alice was beautiful and I don't think Jazz took his eyes off her from the time she walked down the aisle until they left a bit ago." I sighed, though I held the smile on my face.

"Well honey, you certainly had a busy night tonight," Renee stepped away from Esme and wrapped her arms around me. I caught the sob before it escaped my throat, but Renee saw it in my face. She shook my shoulders ever so gently, _"_I love you, Bella Swan_,"_ she whispered in my ear and placed a kiss upon my forehead.

"I believe your friend, Seth, was quite taken with you tonight." Esme teased.

"And I noticed he wasn't the only one," my mother added with a wink.

"Oh yes, there were several that took notice of you tonight, my son being one," Esme continued the same train of thought my mother was traveling with a smirk upon her face.

I shook my head and laughed at these two. Individually they were formidable in their own right, but together they were a piece of work no one wanted to challenge.

"Okay you two, that's enough of that. I came in here because we're leaving soon so I wanted to tell you good night," I hugged them both and advised them to maybe put the wine away for the night. They just giggled like little girls. I smiled at the image of those two in their younger years.

"Bella…." My mother called to me before I could make my escape. "Bella, honey, can I talk to you for just a moment?" Although it was formed as a question I knew there was no arguing with Renee. I had no choice but to comply.

My mother took me by the arm and led me over to the breakfast area away from all the commotion in the kitchen.

"Momma....listen, before-"I started but she cut me off before I could say anything more.

"Nope, stop right there baby girl. You listen to your momma for a minute." She smirked at me and I crossed my arms, huffing.

"Bella, now child, I know you have been through more than any woman should have to endure. And I'll just tell you, I'm proud of you baby for not completely losing your mind. Nobody, and I mean nobody, should suffer losing a child." I sucked in a breath at the mention of my baby, it cut through my heart at every turn. "Baby girl, I'm sorry. I know it still hurts so much what you've lost. And I know that you're still dealing with all of that, it's going to always be with you, there's no way around that." I was starting to get annoyed because I was literally holding on by a thread and bringing up my baby _n_owwas not in any way helping that situation.

"Momma, why are we talking about this tonight?" The hold I had on my sanity was sitting on the edge of the blade. As if the decisions I needed to make regarding Edward were not enough to push me over the edge, my mother chooses tonight to bestow her motherly wisdom upon me.

_You should listen to her more, ya know. She tried to-_

Shut up already! I know I should listen to her. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath and blowing it out slowly to calm my tattered nerves.

"Baby, I'm not bringing this up to get you thinking of all that pain. I see what's going on between you and Edward. Honey, I saw you two up there today and then out on the dance floor. Bella…… that boy still loves you. He always has. Deep in your heart you know that. He made a terrible mistake and it has cost both of you so much." I opened my mouth to begin my protest of this subject matter, but my mother held up a finger to stop me. "Now just hold on there. I can see the storm a brewin' and you need to just keep your mouth closed and hear what I'm saying to you." My mother wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly to her. She looked me directly in the eye when she continued.

"Bella, I didn't say you should make it easy on him, but let him make amends. Listen to what he has to say, and then make your decision. He loves you, Bella. _Let_ him. Let him love you like he should have years ago. I truly believe he's realized what a mess he made of things. Bella, you still love him too, you know that in your heart. I know you're scared baby, with good reason. But don't walk away from what you feel for him. From what he wants to give you because you're scared. If you do, _that_ will be the biggest regret of your life." With that she kissed my forehead, looked deep in my eyes and hugged me to her once more before releasing me to return to Esme.

I stood there watching them and thinking about what my mother said before walking out to find Seth. I was worn out, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I hadn't really been getting much more than a couple hours sleep a night. Between caring for Maverick, generally worrying that he was going to continue to thrive, the training schedule I was keeping up to prepare for the event next month, and all the wedding preparations, sleep had become non-existent. And I didn't want to think about the other reasons for my lack of sleep. The memories which were buzzing around in my head and behind my eyelids every time I closed them was enough to drive a person to insanity.

I felt so…. _lost_. There really was no other word I could use to describe the emptiness that ate away at my soul. I took a deep breath; the loneliness had crept up my spine throughout the day and spiraled out of control as the day progressed. Now my mother lays that speech on me. What was I supposed to do with all of that?

My body felt heavily weighted down with the emotions of the day. My legs were leaden as I made my way down the hallway. The words from my mother had my mind in a fog as they swirled in my brain.

"_Let__ him. Let him love you like he should have years ago." _

I found the men in the study. Seth stood alongside my dad and Carlisle. Emmett sat in one of the leather chairs near the fire place. All engrossed in an intense conversation about the upcoming football season and the Cowboys chances this year. I was a little concerned when I noticed that they had pulled out the cigars and the scotch. Dad and Carlisle could go on for days discussing the ills of the world as long as there was plenty of scotch and the cigar supply held out. Seth really had no idea what he was in for with those two. And adding Emmett to the pot was just a recipe for trouble. My bear of a brother was stretched out in one of the leather chairs, legs thrown out in front of him crossed at the ankles. He puffed on the nasty cigar as though it was the greatest thing he had ever tasted.

"So, have you allowed these boys to corrupt you with their wicked ways?" I teased and winked at my dad as I wrapped an arm around Seth's waist giving him a little squeeze before walking over to sit on the arm of Emmett's chair.

"Nah…..though I'm pretty sure they've taught me a trick or two while we've been in here. I had no idea that cigars were so good." Seth flashed his most mischievous smile, winking at me. It was strange how affectionate we were. That's just how we were with one another, it was comfortable and it felt natural.

Carlisle inquired about the foal and how his progress was going. I filled them in on how much stronger he had become just in the short time he had been back on the ranch. His growth was not up to what I had hoped for him at this point, but he seemed to be thriving, and James had informed me that he would probably be a bit on the smaller side because he was orphaned at such a young age. Though the supplements and feeding schedule we were following gave him the best opportunity possible to reach his potential, I still worried that maybe we could do more. He was actually moving on to more of a regular feeding type regimen, from mostly formula to grain and hay.

Charlie had several questions for Emmett and me about Las Vegas. The two of us met just last week on that very subject, making decisions on which two year olds we would be transporting to the event and which were just not quite ready to be showcased. We really had an impressive group, Raven alone would bring upwards of fifty thousand and if I were able to push him a little more in his training we could get even more. I had high hopes that once we showcased what I had accomplished in my training we might be able to secure some placements with a few big players to get yearlings for training. I really wanted to expand this part of the ranch's business. I loved running the ranch, but training, riding, and being able to get one of these beautiful creatures to understand and follow my instruction…. There just was no other feeling in the world like when I finally got through to them and they submitted to my requests. I had just began explaining my plans for expanding the training program to outside ranch owners and about a new training technique I was working on when I felt a familiar chill run up my spine. My body shivered before I could get control over it.

"You cold, baby girl?" Em questioned and I nodded because I did not want to explain that it had nothing to do with being cold.

"Yeah…..I guess I am a little bit." I couldn't tell him what actually caused my body to tremble.

I turned my eyes on Edward and caught the almost pained look that washed across his face as he looked back at me. I dropped my gaze from his, turning to Emmett who was carrying on a vivid conversation with Seth about god knows what.

The look on Edward's face did strange things to my heart; I didn't enjoy seeing Edward in pain. Regardless of how angry I was with him, I never wanted to hurt him. He looked like he was being burned at the stake and I had the urge to wrap him in my arms. But I couldn't do that, not right now. I needed to sort through all these emotions, and he owed me some explanations. We would talk and it needed to be sooner than later.

"Well there he is," Carlisle called out to Edward, gesturing for him to come further into the room with a wave of his hand. "Come on in and join us, son. It's been quite a while since we've all been in this room together."

Carlisle poured Edward a glass as Charlie handed him one of the cigars the men were enjoying. He refused saying, "No thanks, dad. I quit smoking some time back and even those things are just too much of a temptation."

"Ah, that's right. Sorry son. No need to pick that habit up again, right?" Carlisle smiled.

"Yes sir. I'd rather not," he cast a look in my direction again and our eyes met for the briefest of moments before Carlisle began talking animatedly about the Las Vegas event and the things he and Jasper had planned for purchases they wanted to make.

"So Edward, have you gotten any word on the reports about Bella's mare?" he questioned Edward as he took another long drag off his stogy.

Edward had just raised his glass to his lips and I noticed him pause, looking straight at me before nodding his head. He took a short sip of the amber liquid before he began his theories of what had happened to Lacy.

"Uh……yeah, actually I did. I don't really know how to go about telling you what I found out." Edward paused, looking from me to Emmett, and finally to Charlie.

"Well, I would suggest just telling it like it is, son. I don't like beatin' around the bush. So just spit it out and we'll deal with whatever you got for us." Charlie was always the no nonsense kind of guy, he wanted to know the facts and not all the fluff. Tell him what he needed to know to fix a situation, but he did not want all the superfluous information.

"Yes sir," Edward answered but paused again before continuing. "I believe, and the reports I've received so far as well as the research that I have done confirm my thoughts, that the mare was poisoned."

What the hell?

"What?" I could not help the volume of my voice. It had risen to an octave I didn't realize I could hit with my shock .

"The fuck….." Emmett was on his feet, his face enraged.

"What do you mean she was poisoned, Edward?" Charlie said, trying to be the calm Swan in the room but I could tell his hold was tenuous at best.

"Well Charlie, the reports that Emmett and Bella provided me with, the ones they were given by Dr. Anderson…..they weren't complete. Those copies were only a part of the actual report on Lacy's tests. I have a colleague at Texas A&M, where Lacy's remains were shipped. When I contacted him and gave him the circumstances he faxed me a copy of the full report. That report was much more extensive than the one that you gave me, Bella." He turned his eyes to meet my wide, shocked gaze. "Bella, how long has Dr. Anderson worked for you on the ranch?" Edward inquired.

"Em?" I turned to Emmett looking at his confused expression. "Its been what, like two or three years right?"

"Yeah, something like that. Why are you asking? I mean what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, maybe nothing, but when did you start having difficulty with losing mares and foals?" I wasn't sure where Edward's questioning was leading ,but surely he was not insinuating that James was poisoning our mares. Why would he do that? What would motivate James to do that?

"Uh…..last year was the first year that we had any, well that much difficulty. There's always one that gives you some problems during the foaling season. But yeah, last year I guess was the first year that we had so much trouble with our mares and foals." Emmett supplied the answer to Edward's question as my mind reeled at the possibility that someone we had trusted so implicitly had betrayed our family in this way.

"Bella," Edward's voice came to me through the fog that was clouding my mind at the thoughts that Lacy was….. _murdered_. "Were there any changes in Lacy's feeding schedule or anything out of the ordinary that you remember which might help us to have an idea about where the poison came from?"

"No. None that I can remember, well other than this supplement that Victoria brought out to the farm a day or two after Maverick was born, she said that James wanted Lacy to have it added to her feeding."

Edward quirked an eyebrow at that, I could see the wheels turning as his brow furrowed in concentration.

"Do you still have that supplement?" he asked, running his hand through his hair. I watched him continuously pulling and releasing his hair, thinking about how many times I had witnessed that nervous habit over the years. Even as a kid he would do that when he was frustrated or concentrating intensely.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that it's still in the feed room at the barn. Lacy had some difficulty with milk production so Victoria said it was supposed to help build up her milk supply." The memory of the conversation I had with Victoria that day flashed through my mind. I couldn't remember anything out of the ordinary, nothing that stood out as a red flag. Everything about Victoria made my skin crawl and my blood boil, so there was nothing out of the norm for that particular visit.

"I'll need to get that so it can be sent out for some testing. I'm sorry to tell you this; I wish I could have given you better results. And that supplement very well may be where we find the poison."

"Why the hell would James be poisoning our animals?" Emmett stormed. "I mean, I've never really been a big fan of the ass, but what the hell? Why would he fucking poison our horses?" Emmett was livid. I knew he was feeling pretty much the same way I was. Betrayed. He paced around the room, looking as much like a bear as I had ever seen him.

"Emmett. Son, you need to calm down. Let's just figure out if the supplement really is where the poison came from before we go jumping to conclusions. If that's where it is, then James has got some explaining to do. Edward, why would he give only partial reports to Bella? You thinking that was his way of covering his ass?" Charlie was trying very hard to be the calm in the shit storm that was swarming around him, but I could tell from the tight set of his jaw and the tension in his shoulders he was beyond furious at the thought of someone doing something such as this.

Carlisle had remained eerily silent throughout the entire exchange. It was out of character for him to refrain from any comments.

"Carlisle, do you have any ideas?" I questioned.

When he turned his steely blue eyes on me I saw my fears confirmed. He knew something more about this than what we were aware of.

"Unfortunately, I'm afraid that I've had some suspicions about James, or more specifically Victoria, for some time. You remember the day Edward came home? Jasper was supposed to pick him up at the airport." I nodded as he had paused, wanting to ensure that we were following him. "There was an emergency here. One of our mares had gone down and we called out a different vet. The mare wound up at the university clinic. She was poisoned, Bella. They were able to save her. She's still there as a matter of fact." I gasped because I remembered that day. Emmett had to pick Edward up because Jasper was tied up at the ranch. I knew that the mare they were having trouble with had been taken to the university, I just had no idea what the circumstances were.

"Edward was here by then, he talked with the Doctor at the university. He assured us that we had caught it early enough that the mare should recover fully. It would just take some time. It wasn't until after that when Emmett asked him to look at the reports from your mare, Bella. That's when we became suspicious of what was happening. Edward had asked that we not say anything about this situation until he had more information and that he could be sure of what might be happening."

I could not believe what they were saying. How had this happened? I looked up at Seth, trying to make sense of everything we had found out tonight. He gave me a sympathetic look and rubbed my back soothingly.

"What do we do now? Do you really think that James is poisoning our livestock?" My mind was running a mile a minute; I had so many thoughts going through it at one time. "Oh God, Em! How the hell are we going to bring other peoples livestock onto the ranch if this gets out that our vet is poisoning our own horses?" The realization of what we were hoping to accomplish at the event next month was slipping away before we even had a chance.

"Bella, listen, don't start freakin' out yet. Okay?" Emmett crossed the room, placing his large hands on my shoulders, grounding me for the moment to that spot. I looked into his eyes hoping to find the reassurance that our dreams of putting our ranch on the map weren't going up in smoke.

"Em…." I whispered, unsure of what to say, what to do.

It was Edward who spoke up at that moment, stepping around Emmett to gain my attention.

"Bella, listen, we don't know what's going on for sure. We still need to get the tests on that supplement. It really could all be coincidental but….the most important thing is that we know something happened, and now that we know we can work to figure it all out. We'll figure it out, I promise." Edward looked deep into my eyes trying to reassure me. As much as I hated to admit it, his words, his presence in this situation, helped to soothe my fears.

I nodded my head, hoping that he was right, that somehow we would figure it out.

At that moment Seth's cell began buzzing.

"Bella, I'm sorry I need to take this," he apologized and excused himself from the room.

I sat reeling, trying to comprehend all that Edward had revealed. Lacy had died because someone had poisoned her. I couldn't wrap my head around the words that he had spoken. How could James do something like that?

"Baby girl? You alright?" Emmett's voice brought me back to reality.

"Huh? Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just……" waving a hand in the air, unable to form a coherent thought. He bent placing a kiss to the top of my head before leaving the room along with Carlisle and Charlie.

I looked up and met Edward's steady gaze. He stood just across the room leaning on the desk, arms stretched tight at his sides supporting his weight, ankles crossed.

"Bella, I'm really sorry that I couldn't have better news to give you. I didn't want it to be something like this." I could see the sincerity on his face and nodded my head, dropping my gaze to my hands in my lap.

"I know Edward and I appreciate it. Really, I do," I said, lifting my eyes to meet his once again. I smiled a half hearted smile.

"I do need to get the supplement you were talking about, so I'll talk with Em and arrange something with him to get that so we can have it tested. At least then we'll know for sure if that's where the poison originated." Edward ran a hand through his thick hair, looking at his feet and blowing out a long breath. He looked exhausted, exactly the way I felt.

"Okay, well I'm gonna go find my mother and tell her good night before I turn in. Bella, I'm sorry about this, really," his eyes were sympathetic, kind. He moved to leave the room and I stood from the chair I had fallen into with the weight of what lay ahead in dealing with Lacy's death.

"Edward, wait!" I placed a hand on his forearm to stop him from leaving the room.

The surprise was apparent on his face before he composed himself and looked at me.

"I….Do you think you could come over tomorrow morning? So we can talk…." my voice trailed off as I was suddenly unsure if this was the right course of action to take. But I needed to know, I needed to clear the air between us and allow him to turn loose his guilt over what had happened in my life. I knew both Alice and Rose had filled him in on all the ugly details. So we needed to have our talk. To get the answers I needed, and so he could expel whatever guilt he held. I felt sure his feelings were more than likely tied to some unfounded guilt he felt over the events in my life over the last year. He held no responsibility, but Edward being Edward always felt responsible, for everything and everybody.

"Are you sure, Bella?" he questioned as he laid his large hand over my small one, which was still on his forearm. I felt the warmth from his touch and it comforted me.

"Yeah, Edward, I'm sure. I think it's time we actually talk." I tried to smile, but it probably came across as more of a grimace.

Edward nodded his head, "Okay, Bella. If you're sure, I'll be there bright and early." A genuine smile spread across his handsome face and I couldn't help but return it with a real smile of my own.

~*~

The short car ride to my house was quiet with only the sounds from the radio breaking the silence.

It wasn't uncomfortable, the silence. We had decided to leave the top down; Seth's car was amazing and I always loved the feeling of the night air blowing my hair. It was warm and the sky was clear, the stars were incredible in the huge Texas sky. The quiet was actually soothing to me. Seth was great at letting me just be me, without asking questions to fill in the holes in conversation. Tyler had never understood that. He could never get the fact that sometimes I just needed to get lost in my thoughts. After I lost the baby and had the surgery, there were days I needed so desperately to just be alone. Tyler could never just let me be. He constantly wanted to talk and I just couldn't. I think he thought that if he talked to me about all the things that happened he could alleviate some of his guilt. He tried to play off the fact he was otherwise occupied when the girls tried to locate him while on the way to the hospital and then for hours afterward. We had gotten into some really heated arguments about my need for therapy in his opinion; grief counseling was what he said I needed. I snorted at the ridiculousness of his argument in the wake of knowing what an unbelievable hypocrite he actually was.

Seth's silky voice brought me back to the fact that I was still in his car, sitting in front of my house, and I had made no move to get out of the car.

"Bella, are you alright?" He reached over taking one of my clenched hands in his own, bringing it to his lips and placing a kiss to my knuckles.

"Yeah, I'm fine really. Just…..it's a lot to take in. I mean everything. The stuff with Lacy? It's just so unbelievable. I've never been like a huge fan of James but for us to possibly accuse him of doing something like this? Seth…..I just don't know." I took a deep breath, trying to gain some composure. "And the stuff with Edward…..God, Seth… what the hell am I going to do with that? And before you say anything," I pointed a finger in his direction without opening my eyes. "Do not say a word. I know exactly what I need to do, that was a rhetorical question, so just shut it. I actually talked with Edward when you stepped out of the room earlier. He's coming over tomorrow morning." I was not in the mood for his usual bullshit. He called me out on everything and though I loved him for it, it pissed me off none the less. And I wanted to put a hiatus on that right now. I needed him to just let it be for a little while.

Seth just chuckled at my surly mood, dropping my hand back in my lap. In all honesty, how much could one person truly take? I was surely at the end of my run of horrible luck, wasn't I? I prayed to God that my life had finally hit the bottom and was on its way in the other direction, and that my talk with Edward in the morning would be the catalyst for the upswing.

"Seth, you want to come in for a little bit?" I still hadn't opened my eyes and sat with my head against the back of the seat. Taking in the sounds of nature and trying to absorb some of the peacefulness of the night.

"Um….sure beautiful, for a little bit. I have a nine am flight in the morning for Nashville. So I can't really stay long. But yeah, I'll come in for a little bit."

I opened my eyes, lolling my head to look at my friend. I smiled and thanked him for staying with me for a while. For some reason I suddenly didn't want to be alone.

"You want something to drink, Seth? I'm gonna grab some water," I asked as I opened the fridge and removed the bottled water, turning to offer him one of them.

"Thanks," he said as he opened the bottle, turning it up and draining half in one pull.

Seth had taken a seat on a stool at the counter as I leaned a hip into the counter, lost in my thoughts.

"Seth…..do you think that James could really have poisoned Lacy?" I couldn't wrap my head around all the information that Edward and Carlisle had laid on us. It was unthinkable that someone who was entrusted to care for animals would do something like that.

"I don't know Bella. I don't know enough about all of this to have a comment, really. But if you're asking my opinion strictly based on what I heard everyone talking about tonight…..I think it looks really bad."

I sighed a heavy breath.

"I know it really does. And I don't know what we're going to do about it all. I don't even want to think about what this will do to our chances of continuing with the training program if word gets out that losing these mares was intentional. That it was our vet no less?" I said, shaking my head at the desperation of this situation.

We talked for a while longer about his trip to Nashville. Seth was so excited that the band was finally going to be cutting their record. I was so happy for him and the others. They had worked so hard and were signed with a huge record company. They were really on their way to breaking into the big time; they deserved it.

"Well, I really need to get going beautiful. I haven't finished packing, and if I'm not at the airport by eight Leah's going to kill me." He laughed as he stood, throwing his empty bottle in the trash.

I walked him to the door. He wrapped me in his arms, placing a kiss on the top of my head.

"It's all going to be okay, Bella. Everything." I understood that his words had more meaning than just the situation with James. He wanted me to feel that my issues with Edward would work out as well. I wished that I could have that much faith.

I buried my head in his chest and took as much of his comfort as I could glean from him, knowing that he would not be back for several weeks. I was really going to miss him. He gave me shit about everything, but I couldn't have made it through the last couple of weeks without him. I could not fight the tears that began to burn behind my eyes at the thought of him not being here for me to call on.

"Hey, what's with the water works here?" He chuckled as he tilted my face up so I had to look at him.

"I'm sorry….I just realized you're going to be gone…..oh hell, I don't know, it's been the longest damn day in history. I'm going to miss you, okay?" I was mad at myself for being such a mess. I couldn't even hold it together to say goodbye to my friend. And I knew my reaction to the fact that Seth was leaving for several weeks was really only a cover for my nerves over meeting with Edward tomorrow.

_Jesus Bella, get it together. _

I chastised myself for being such a sap. This day had been too long with too many emotions. I was completely overwhelmed by it all.

"Aw, honey, I'm going to miss you too. But hey, listen I have my cell. If you need me Bella, you know you can always get in touch with me." He kissed my forehead and hugged me to him once more.

"I know…I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I…..it's just been a really long day. I'm sorry. You just be careful and let me know when your flight lands, okay? And then you just go play your ass off and make that record. Go kick some ass!" He snorted a laugh.

"Okay I've gotta get going, but…." He wrapped me in a huge bear hug. "You take care of yourself and you call me anytime, night or day. Okay?"

I nodded; my voice would not come to me at that moment, the emotions of the day seeming to take over me completely, stealing my ability to speak.

I watched from the door of my house as Seth got in his car, waving one last time before backing out of the drive. I waved in return, but did not turn away until his car was out of sight.

Making my way into my room to finally change out of the god forsaken dress, I slipped on a pair of yoga pants and a T-shirt.

I slipped my T-shirt over my head and padded down the hallway to the kitchen. Filling the coffee pot with water and coffee, I set the timer for the following morning. I really could not get through a morning without my cup of coffee.

As I went through my usual bed time routine I thought back on the day and all the things that had occurred. I tried to get myself ready for the next day and my talk with Edward. Honestly, there just really was no way to know how things would go tomorrow. My last thoughts just before I drifted off into sleep were of Edward's laughing green eyes, the ones I once knew and hoped might still be there somewhere.

* * *

**Just a little thank you to all of you who reviewed the last two chapters. THANK YOU!!! The last two chapters have had the highest number of reviews so far and I thank each and everyone of you. I try very hard to respond to each and everyone of you quickly. Truly Thank you so very much. As always teaser for Ch 12 will be sent for all those who review.**

**I need to say a special thank you to GreenEyedGirl00 for rec'ing MMB in her last chapter of Illegal Contact. Thank you so much! Anyone who isn't reading Illegal contact really? You need to go read. It's awesome! Edward=ex NFL player= HOT!**

**Anyone who is interested I have a one shot in the Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy contest over on the Fornication Station's page. Go take a look. There are some great stories over there, go check them out! Leave me some love there as well if you want. **

**www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/Fornication_Station_Contests/70372/14/0/1/**

**Rec's for what I'm reading:**

**Green Eyes and Lullabies by dandyvamp.**

**Embodiment by Cullen321**

**3,2,1 by Heatherdawnc**

**I've rec'd Embodiment and 3,2,1 previously but really if you haven't read them, seriously go read them now. All three of these stories are amazing in their own right!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters. They all belong to Mrs. Meyers. I just play with them. Though the characters are not mine the ideas and plot of this story is....**

**So a big huge thank you to my beta and friend Jessica1971, she's awesomesauce and she worked her magic on this chapter even though she was going on vacation. Thank you my darling! Your the bestest! Mood music: What about now by Daughtry, Never gonna be alone by Nickelback, Fall for you by Secondhand Serenade, Lost together by Blue Rodeo,**

**Since I know you guys have been chomping at the bit for this I won't keep ya....here it is my dear hearts....the TALK!**

* * *

Ch. 12 What about now….

**EPOV**

I watched Seth's car pull away from Bella's house. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves I parked the car, trying desperately to calm the pounding of my heart.

I wasn't sure exactly how serious her relationship with Seth truly was, but I had seen them at the wedding. My heart ached at the thought that maybe their feelings for one another were more than a_ friend's only_ thing.

My heart sank as Bella left my arms, walking off the dance floor and into his. I knew I had pushed too hard again. I couldn't explain why I continued to push her, but I couldn't let go of the nagging insecurity that she may actually belong to another man. And that I let too much time pass, _again._ Their embrace seemed much more intimate than that of a friend. It killed me slowly, the thoughts of Bella seeking Seth's comfort when she avoided me at all costs. I had to swallow the bile as it threatened to choke me, watching the way she turned to him for reassurance. He readily offered his touch and she accepted.

Shaking my head thinking of the jealousy I felt as I got out of the car, an emotion I truly had no right to feel. My heart was sick with the realization that I may have just waited too long, and even though I had told her how I felt she would not accept my apologies.

And then she caught me completely off guard. Surprised, elated, scared shitless were not even close to all the emotions running through me when Bella asked that I come over to talk. She was going to give me a chance to explain myself at the very least. With a heavy heart I tried to accept the fact that she could still refuse to accept my reasons for leaving. If she made the decision to not forgive me, to not love me, then I would do what I had to do to deal with that. I would continue my plans to move home because I had no desire to return to Georgia permanently. My place was here with my family, and I prayed to God that it would be with Bella as well.

I gathered the dishes that Esme had prepared. She was overjoyed when I spoke with her and my father after the wedding guests were all gone. Volunteering to make breakfast for Bella and me, laughing to myself as I remembered the way Esme's eyes lit up when I told her about the short discussion Bella and I had in the study.

_Walking into the kitchen where my mother and father were sharing a bottle of wine, I found them with their heads close together as Esme giggled like a school girl at whatever my father whispered in her ear. _

_I cleared my throat to gain their attention, smirking when they both jumped and put space between themselves._

"_Oh! Edward, dear, you scared me." Esme giggled as she covered her heart with her hand._

"_I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you but you two looked like you were in another world," I said, winking at her and placing a kiss to her cheek._

"_So son, Bella took your revelations about Lacy pretty hard?" Carlisle took another sip of his wine._

"_Yeah she did. I really wish that I had waited to drop that bomb on her, but when Charlie asked and we were all together it just seemed like that would be the best chance to have everyone in the same place at the same time," I said as I ran a hand through my hair and sighed at the turmoil I felt at having to inform Bella that her horse had been poisoned. _

"_Oh honey, I'm sorry about that, I'm sure she was really upset. I didn't see her before she left but Charlie was… I don't know….angry, I guess you could say when he and Renee left. She'll be okay Edward. Is there any way to prove that James had anything to do with it?" Esme patted my arm, looking between me and Carlisle for the answer._

"_Well, I'm really not sure , but Bella mentioned a supplement that Victoria had brought out to the ranch. I'm thinking that may be where we find the poison. It's possible we could tie it to one of them, I'm just not sure yet. I have to get a sample and send it for some testing. I was going to call Em about going out to the farm tomorrow." I wasn't sure why I suddenly felt so nervous, but my stomach was churning at the thoughts of what the next day would bring._

"_Uh…..Bella asked that I come to her house in the morning so we could talk." I looked up sheepishly from the hole I was staring in the counter. The squeal that my mother released at that moment should have shattered the windows._

"_Oh honey, that's wonderful!" Esme jumped up from her perch on the barstool and wrapped me in a tight hug. _

"_Honey it's just wonderful that Bella is ready to talk, now you two can get back on the right track with one another. She needs that," my mother paused and looked me straight in the eye. "And so do you, Edward. You need to let go of the guilt. Just lay it out on the line for her, tell her everything and you'll see that it'll all work out. I just know it. Both of you deserve to have some happiness in your lives," she placed a kiss on my cheek, patting the other cheek with her small hand. I couldn't help but smile at my mother's optimism about this situation. I just wish I had the same outlook._

"_Now let's see, what can I make for you to take over? Hm….," tapping her chin as she contemplated what concoction she could whip up that would be suitable for the type of breakfast conversation I would be having with Bella._

"_Oh, I've got it!" She quickly made her way to the refrigerator, mumbling to herself about the ingredients she needed for whatever dish she had decided upon. It was so easy to see where my sister got her energy; my mother was much like the Energizer bunny. I coughed to cover the laugh that was trying to escape me as I caught my father's eye roll at her exuberance. _

"_Son, are you going to tell Bella that you're moving home?"Carlisle asked as he lifted his wine glass to his lips, staring intently at me over the rim._

_I took a deep breath, running a hand through my hair. Then scrubbing my face with both hands, I blew out the breath I was holding._

"_I want to but…" I paused looking back at Carlisle. "I'm not sure what to do, she may not be very receptive to the fact that I'm going to be here regardless of whether she wants me to be or not. I guess I'll just play it by ear." _

I was taking my mother's advice and I was not letting my head guide me; I had to take the chance. If I didn't she would slip through my fingers again and I wasn't willing to let that happen again. I was not going to be afraid of telling her exactly how I feel. Consequences be damned, they couldn't be worse than what I was living now. I watched as the life I desired passed me by while I sat back, bitching and moaning and not doing a damn thing to make a change. I was making those changes now. I wanted to become the man Bella deserved. I wanted to make her understand I knew how selfish and unreasonable I had been with my decisions, the one to leave her in the first place as well as all the idiotic ones that followed. If she shot me down, well then I would pick up the pieces of my heart and move on, I would have no other choice. Not being a part of Bella's life was just no longer an option, the need to make things right between us even if she couldn't forgive me was too strong. I would not walk away from her and not be some part of her life. I was tired of hiding, of sticking my head in the sand and ignoring my true feelings about Bella until I had convinced myself I could live without her. It just wasn't true and now that I had allowed myself the luxury of remembering the love that I held for her, for my family, I couldn't hide it any longer. Remembering how much I needed them both in my life, I couldn't turn my back and return to the life I led before. I would let my heart lead me and let the cards fall where they may. Releasing that control scared the shit out of me, but the things I had done to this point only served to make a bigger mess. And I was thankful that Bella had made the step towards me this time. I knew I had pushed her, that I had been an ass for not stepping back. So when she stepped up and acknowledged that she wanted to have this talk I felt hopeful and thankful that I had not pushed her away. I'm sure I pissed her off but at least she wasn't running any longer. I was unsure if the fact that she wasn't running made me feel better about this talk or scared me more.

_Here goes nothing, _I thought to myself as I rang the bell and waited.

I could hear Bella inside the house, shuffling around and then laughing.

"Hold on, I'll be right there." She called from the other side of the door.

Her footsteps became more distinct and less muffled as she made her way to the door. I heard her laughing as she turned the locks in the door.

"Good morning," she smiled at me.

"Good morning, Bella," I returned her smile.

"Wow….you're here early?" she stood before me in a pair of navy yoga pants and a white camisole. Her hair was a tangle of curls draping down her back.

I cleared my throat, "Uh…yeah, Esme made breakfast. So I thought I would come over early and we could eat together?" I asked, hopeful that I had not overstepped yet again. Maybe I should have called before I showed up so early in the morning. "May I come in?" I asked as she stood blocking my entrance to her home.

"Uh….sure…yeah, come on in," she stammered with a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth, stepping back and opening the door wider allowing me to brush past her through the door. I stood facing her in the foyer.

"Um….you can take that in the kitchen if you don't mind. I was just about to change." She started down the hallway pointing the way to the kitchen. "I'll be out in just a minute. "

Making my way into the kitchen I began to unload the contents of the cooler Esme packed with the breakfast foods she prepared for Bella and me. The overwhelming aromas coming from the containers had my mouth watering already. I was just removing the lid on the french toast as Bella entered the room.

She took my breath away. Her chestnut locks were in a long single braid draping down her back. The tight _Cruel Girl_ jeans were ripped at the knees, the bottom of one leg caught on the top of her boot. My eyes raked over her delicious body and lingered when they reached the grey tank top she was wearing. I felt my body respond to her and my jeans tightened.

"I made some coffee, would you like a cup?" Bella reached into the cabinet placing two mugs on the counter.

"Yeah, that would be great, thank you," I replied as I leaned a hip onto the counter, watching Bella take plates from the cabinet.

"Would you mind grabbing a couple of forks out of that drawer?" she pointed a finger in the direction of where I stood.

"Oh sure," straightening and grabbing the utensils as she requested, I placed them on the counter near the plates.

"Thanks. I don't usually eat breakfast and since I'm the only one ever here I don't have any breakfast foods. Here ya go," she handed me the steaming cup of coffee.

"Thank you," I said as she continued.

"Oh, you're welcome. Like I was saying I don't have any kind of breakfast type stuff in the house because honestly coffee is the only breakfast I usually have, so this was really nice of you and Esme," she grinned up at me, "To send all this food over. I swear I think I have a few pieces of bread and maybe some cheese. So I could have made you a mean grilled cheese, but that's about it," she laughed, turning to the refrigerator and removing a bottle of creamer. "You still take your coffee black, right? I hope so, coz I think this is the last of the creamer," she held up the bottle and shook it lightly. "And uh… I can't do coffee black," she shivered dramatically to prove her point, laughing. I shook my head and laughed with her. It was nice to be able to speak with one another without the tension that seemed to hang between us this last week. I wasn't sure what changed the atmosphere, but I hoped that we could continue when we talked about more serious issues.

"Oh my god! Esme made the banana and peanut butter French toast? God I love that, I haven't had this in forever."

Bella began plating the french toast, eggs, and bacon, handing the first to me.

"Yeah, she said she thought it was one of your favorites so she wanted to make something she knew you would enjoy." I took my plate from her and made my way to the breakfast area.

"Here, you forgot your coffee." Bella sat my cup down next to my plate as she took a seat at the table as well.

"Thank you," I smiled and looked into her eyes. I loved that there was openness there; it was much different than what I saw last night or even over the last two weeks. She was so guarded when around me; it gave me some hope that we would at least have a chance to talk without her shutting down.

"You're welcome, must be a man thing. Seth is always doing that."

I almost choked on the sip of coffee I had just taken and tried to cover it without Bella knowing how shocked I was that she just pretty much admitted that Seth spent the night with her often. I continued coughing and clearing my throat.

"So, um…..Seth, he stays over often? He stayed last night?" I knew I shouldn't be asking, that it wasn't my business, and as soon as the words left my mouth I wanted to grab them and shove them back down to where they came from.

Bella's eyes narrowed as she looked at me before answering my question.

"Not that it's any of your business Edward, but Seth is just a friend. No, he doesn't ever stay over but sometimes he comes by really early in the morning to have breakfast. Kind of like you're doing now," she stabbed a bite of her french toast.

Shit! I really could not keep my foot out of my mouth and I needed to say something to get the lightness back in the room before the whole morning was lost.

"Bella, I'm sorry. That was out of line. I know I have no right to ask you what you do or don't do with your friend. I'm sorry." I looked into her eyes hoping she would see how serious I was. That statement had been totally out of line, no matter how much I really needed to know if she was sleeping with Seth. Bottom line - it was none of my business, for now. But if things worked in my favor today …..

"Listen Edward, I understand, okay? But Seth and I are really just friends. And it really is none of your business, it's okay."

We continued eating our breakfast, although Bella was a bit more reserved than she was before. I wasn't sure if it was what I said or the creeping sensation that was settling over us both for the impending conversation.

"Bella," I called her name in an attempt to get her to look at me. She didn't acknowledge my call to her but continued looking down at her plate.

"Edward, I don't know how to have this conversation. There are so many unanswered questions……" her voice trailed off, still looking at her plate.

"I lied to you. " I blurted out. Her head snapped up, meeting my gaze with her wide brown eyes.

"When I broke up with you, I told the worst lie ever uttered by any man in all of history. I…..I thought that what I was doing was best," I ran both my hands through my hair, looking toward Bella who seemed frozen in her seat. The look on her face was unreadable, but I could see the rise and fall of her chest was much faster, shallower.

"I know what I did was wrong. I made a decision and I followed through on that decision without ever considering what it would do to you. I was selfish and young and just fucking stupid. But Bella….." I was so frustrated. As the memories of that day flashed behind my eyes, I could see the stupidity of my actions.

What's that saying about hind sight? Well my hind sight was blinding me with the clarity of my mistakes. I looked to Bella, begging her to understand my regrets. The enormity of my mistakes had slapped me in the face and I was reeling from the thoughts of never being able to make her mine again. The ball was completely in her court, she could make my heart soar or she could shatter my life just as thoroughly as I had done to hers. I continued trying to make sure I said my peace before she kicked me out of her life forever.

"You….you were on your way to getting everything you wanted, it was right at your fingertips." I could not sit still, the anxiety over explaining myself and the fear that she would stop me at any second had me jumpy. "You were ready to take on the world; you were in line to be number one nationally with the high school team. There were colleges chomping at the bit to get you on board with their teams. I…..I just thought that if you were waiting every weekend, waiting and wondering if I was going to be able to come home, then you wouldn't be concentrating on what _you _needed. I knew I had a long grueling program ahead of me and it would take so much of my time." Running my hands through my hair, I turned to look at Bella. She looked so small sitting there, so different from the way she had looked only moments ago. With her head bowed looking at the table, her hair creating a curtain of chestnut, hiding her expression from me. Taking a deep breath I prepared myself for what I was about to say next. I was surely putting the nails in my coffin.

"I made a choice, Bella. At the time I thought that I needed to let you go to get through the program. I _thought_ that by doing so, you could follow your dreams without me slowing you down. I knew for me to focus on school the way I needed would mean that I wouldn't be home very often, if at all." I hesitated, looking across the table at Bella, running both hands through my hair and scrubbing my face trying to calm down so I could explain where my head was at that time. I stood and began pacing around the kitchen.

"I just didn't think it was right. It wasn't right to expect you to put your life on hold that long, to ask you to wait. It felt…..wrong. I-I thought I knew better what you really needed. What was best for you? But Bella….. I was _so_ wrong. God…..I was so, so wrong. The things I said to you that day, that day…." I turned to look at her. She had not moved from her position at the table, she stared at the opposite wall. "I broke every promise I ever made to you….I am so …."

"Stop," she whispered.

"…sorry," I finished, she dropped her head in her hands, her fingers fisted in her long hair.

"Bella, I…."

"STOP!" she screamed and jumped to her feet, crossing the room to stand a few feet from me. I could see her whole body trembling with anger and pain.

"So….so you….you want me to believe that you broke up with me.....that you broke your promise to me….you asked for the ring back for God's sake! And you want me to believe that you did all of that because you _loved me_?" She was enraged, her eyes narrowed as she glared at me, her voice rising with each word she uttered. I could see tears threatening to fall from those beautiful brown eyes, eyes that were darker than I had ever seen them with the pain held there. I wanted so much to ease the pain she was feeling but I had no right to comfort her.

I was pretty sure that at this moment in time I would probably get a swift kick to the balls if I tried to touch her. So I remained frozen in my spot, as she seethed in all her fury inches from me. She took a step closer, standing toe to toe with me looking up into my eyes with more fury etched on her face than I had ever seen on another person. I would have rather faced down Emmett on his worst day than be standing here in front of this tiny woman. Bella was much more frightening. Emmett would most likely kick my ass, but Bella could refuse me and break my heart completely. She held the power to end me and everything that I hoped for, my life and where it would go was in her hands.

"I'm supposed to stand here and believe that you took everything! Everything I ever thought we were to one another, you took that and you threw it in my face because _you LOVED ME_?" The tears had begun to fall down her cheeks in a torrent. My hands twitched to reach out, to cup her face and to dry her tears.

"I…I" I stuttered. I really had no words to help her understand how stupid I had been, how much I regretted every decision I made that day as well as the ones since.

"SHUT UP! NO! You don't get to say those things. You don't get to tell me that everything I've gone through …..Everything that I…" she took a deep breath as she tried to regain her composure. "You have no idea what I went through after you left," a sob escaped her then. "You….." her voice trailed off as the tears coursed down her cheeks.

I wanted to take her in my arms. I knew what she had been through, and it was burning straight through my soul. I reached my arms out to wrap around her but she slapped them away, taking a step back and creating some space between us.

"NO! Don't you dare touch me…you have no right! You gave up your right to hold me because you _loved _me too much," she practically growled at me.

My arms dropped limply to my sides. I hung my head, the despair of my mistakes weighing heavily on my heart. The trembling of my body was uncontrollable as I worked to rein in the misery threatening to overtake me.

"I can't…..I can't do this Edward. Not again. How can you say those things and expect me to just do what? What is it that you thought you would accomplish by telling me you _love_ me? That I would just forget about everything and just come running into your arms?" She started to turn from me.

A cold chill ran down my spine as her words were like a slap in the face, a knife to my heart. As if her words were not enough to shatter my heart, the dead look in her eyes terrified me and chilled my bones.

_You're too late_.

NO!

_She will never believe how much you loved her, how much you love her still. You can't make her understand how much you truly need her in your life._

No, I refuse to let that happen.

_You have no choice, Cullen. Accept it. She's already gone._

No! I will not accept that. I would not allow her to walk away, not this time.

She was my life. Without her the other parts meant nothing. There is no light in my life without her. She brought the joy in my life, she gave me purpose. I had not followed my heart when I watched her walk away from me before. I let my head guide my actions up to this point, just as Esme had told me, and I was not willing to allow that to happen any longer. I let my decisions and my pigheadedness allow her to walk out of my life. I could not do that again. I _would not_ let that happen again.

I closed the space between us and wrapped her in my arms, not allowing her to move away from me any further. I held her as if she were a life line for a drowning man, because she truly was a life line for me. I had been drowning without her in my life.

"Edward, don't," she pleaded with her body stiff and her arms held rigidly at her sides.

She had to know somewhere in her heart that I spoke the truth, that I had _always_ loved her, even though I had been a rat bastard for lying to her and making her believe differently. I leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"Bella….we were so young. I was stupid, so fucking stupid. I made a mistake, Bella. I thought I knew what I was doing. I had no idea…. no idea what I was saying, telling you to move on, that we could only be friends. No idea how much it would hurt when I saw another man's ring on your finger. It hit me so hard when I realized that you had done exactly what I told you to do. You found another….someone that wouldn't throw your love away. God Bella…..it hurt so much. I got angry….it wasn't fair, I know that. But Bella I knew it was what you deserved. You should be cherished by someone, I wanted that for you….I really did. I still do. It's taken me so many years to realize what I knew then. The night of that Christmas, I had planned on talking to you. I wanted to beg your forgiveness, to see if there was a way that we could try again. But then you were there with Tyler and you looked so happy, Bella. I couldn't bring myself to let you know how I felt, but I knew there was no way I could stand by and watch while you loved another man. So I cut all ties that night, I've hardly had any contact with my family over the last two years, you know that….I just couldn't take it, Bella. I made a mistake and I knew it in my heart but my pride wouldn't let me admit it, even to myself." I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself. The lump in my throat was beginning to choke me. I had so much to atone for and I had no idea if she was really hearing what I was telling her.

"Bella, turn around and look at me," I whispered into her ear, placing my hands on her shoulders and gently spinning her body around. She allowed me to turn her until she faced me but she kept her eyes down cast and her head bowed slightly.

"Please, love. Please look at me," I pleaded. I realized that the term of endearment had slipped from my lips, completely unconsciously, but I wasn't about to take it back. She _was_ the love of my life and I planned on making her believe that with everything I had in me.

I could see the desperation, the confusion, and her desire to believe me. I could see she wanted so badly to know that I was speaking the truth. But…..she didn't believe me that was evident within her eyes and the set of her shoulders. Her body spoke to me with as much clarity as her words ever could.

She stood stiffly in my arms for what seemed like an eternity, looking into my eyes. My heart was breaking, I couldn't breathe, and then it happened. I felt her shift slightly, and then her arms snaked slowly around my waist. Her body began to relax and she leaned into my embrace. Fisting the back of my shirt, she buried her head in my chest and finally allowed the tears to take over. I rested my chin on top of her head and tightened my embrace, holding her to me. I basked in the feeling of _my Bella_ in my arms, exactly where she belonged. She cried for so many things; I knew it was not just about _us_, about what I had done to her. I realized how much Bella had tried to make everyone think she was healed. Bella wanted everyone to think she had dealt with the loss of her baby, and she was okay with the fact she would never bear another child. I knew that she cried for her failed marriage, which from the plethora of knowledge I gained, was a complete failure before it began. But I knew Bella would feel like she had failed somehow, that it was her burden to bear for not making her marriage work. For whatever reason that was just how Bella's brain worked; she took on the responsibilities of the world as if they were her own. Cupping her face with my hand I caressed her cheek, my heart stuttering at the possibility that she would never forgive me.

I reached down, placed one arm behind her knees and the other around her shoulders, then scooped her up and made my way to her leather couch. Sitting down and settling her in my lap I just held her. I held her until the sobs quieted. When she had finally calmed, I began to speak again.

"Bella, I can understand if you blame me for everything that's happened, for putting you on a path to Tyler. I-I'm sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you so deeply. I was such a stupid, naïve kid, Bella. God, I can't even-" Bella placed a finger to my lips, stopping my rambling. I pursed my lips and kissed her finger.

"Shhh….I don't blame you, Edward. What happened with my baby….the surgery," she took a deep breath. "All that was _not_ your fault…I never blamed you for any of that."

"I know it's not directly my fault but Bella had I not-"

"No Edward. Let me finish," she shook her head, giving me a pointed look that said 'shut the hell up and let me speak' and continued. "When you broke up with me? Yes, I was devastated. I'm not going to lie to you about that. I was a mess. My heart was broken. And yes I believed you when you said you didn't want me in any way other than a friend anymore. I couldn't understand how after everything you had said to me before, everything I thought we had been to one another……how could your feelings just change? And you told me I was a mistake, Edward. I really don't understand that," she shook her head, she continued. "I still don't understand that," she looked up with an angry set to her jaw, lips pulled into a tight line. She wore her emotions in her eyes, though she had become so practiced at hiding her pain from her family that I was afraid she would not open herself up to me this morning. As these revelations began to clear the fog in my mind over the complete clusterfuck of emotions that I had been in over the last week, I looked into the beautiful doe eyes of my Bella. I released her as she crawled out of my lap and positioned herself on the couch next to me; I stretched one arm along the back of the couch. She intertwined her fingers with my free hand.

"Bella, I- I really don't know what-"

"No Edward. I told you to listen to me. I'm not asking for your excuses. I don't really want to hear them because it doesn't matter why anymore. I thought it did but it…..it really doesn't." Taking a deep breath and blowing it out slowly, she shook her head and twirled a strand of hair around her index finger.

"I don't know what to say, Bella. All I have are excuses and I know they're not enough. Nothing will ever be enough to make up to you for all that you've been through." I was at a complete fucking loss for what to say to her. I knew in my heart there were no words I could ever say that would make this right, not anymore. I had been hopeful that we could start anew after I was able to explain but….

I scrubbed one hand over my face, running it into my hair as I leaned forward, bracing myself on my knee. Shifting my body toward Bella I tightened my grip on her hand and looked up as she spoke.

"Edward, you have nothing to make up to me. I made the decision to marry Tyler knowing what I knew about him and Tanya. I let him convince me it was a one-time thing, and you were pretty convincing as well, Edward. I thought you didn't want me. Tyler wanted me, it's pretty simple. It's embarrassing really to admit that now. To admit that I let myself settle for a man I only _thought_ I loved. In many ways I did love him. In my head he was perfect for me, at least in the beginning." I almost growled at the thought of Tyler being anything close to 'perfect' for Bella. "He was a great manipulator, Edward. I didn't understand that for a long time. But still, I talked myself into believing that I felt for him as much as I had for you…… that he could replace you in my heart. I talked myself into believing that son of bitch was a good man. And that was wrong, Edward. I settled. I accepted something that was less than what I knew was possible. I knew in my heart there was never going to be another man I loved as much I had once loved you."

I felt my heart sink at her words, _'had once loved'_, past tense. Bella didn't still love me as Alice had said. Bella's feelings were no longer in the present scheme of things. With that thought I felt my body shrink, my shoulders slump and the lump in my throat became increasingly larger, making it hard to swallow. My eyes slid closed, I couldn't look at her when she delivered the final blow to my heart. I knew it was a cowardly way of dealing with this. I should be able to man up and look at her when she annihilated my world. She had done it the day I tore our dreams to shreds, she stood strong and allowed me to walk on her heart.

"Did you lie to me? Yes. And the way I see it Edward, I either have to believe that you were lying when you left me…. I have to believe that, though you loved me, you chose to stay away from me even before I married Tyler. Edward, you pretty much avoided me from the time you broke up with me until three weeks ago. And you've been a complete bastard in the last three weeks. You know that, right?" Bella was so different this morning. She wasn't hesitant, not the way she was over the last week. She wasn't backing down, she wasn't running anymore. I felt a cold shiver that run down my spine at what that could mean. Was she ready to say goodbye to me, forever?

"Edward…..Edward, please look at me," Bella placed her hands on either side of my face and stroked my cheek with her thumbs.

"I have to believe that either you were lying to me then or that you're lying now." She met my gaze with sorrow and the conflict of her emotions written all over her face.

"Either way, Edward…. You've lied to me. Regardless of what my heart wants, how can I ever trust you? I've lived with lies for far too long. Lies, and the fact that I believed those lies, have consumed most of my adult life. They have cost me too much. Lies have caused me more pain than I thought humanly possible," she brushed angrily at her face as the tears fell to her cheeks. "So whether I believe you or not isn't the issue, you see. Whether I want to love you or not isn't the issue either, because the fact is I never stopped loving you, Edward. But ….." Bella dropped her gaze from mine. "That doesn't change the fact that I can't look past the lies, not this time. And maybe that's not fair that in some reality you're paying a price for Tyler's jackass ways. And I realize that when you lied you thought you were doing the right thing, you were a kid. We both were, Edward, and I understand that. But I'm not a kid anymore and regardless of the timing of the lie, you did still lie to me. Whether it was then or now, do you see that it really doesn't matter?" she looked into my eyes again, silently begging for me to understand. "Edward, I don't know that I can take the chance with my heart again. As much as it hurts to say that, as much as I want so damn much to believe you, I can't." Bella surprised me then when she leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. I froze, unsure of what she wanted me to do, my eyes sliding closed as her lips brushed mine. But when I opened my eyes, seeing the tears brimming in hers made the breath catch in my throat and I felt the burn of unshed tears behind my own. The fissure which had begun ripping a slow path through my heart finally broke and I was left raw and bleeding.

_So beautiful, so strong, why did I ever let her go?_

"I don't know why, Edward," Bella whispered to me.

"What?" _OH Shit!_ "Did I say that out loud?" I grimaced at the realization that yes, I had actually spoke those words. My mental filter was shot and it just slipped out with no conscious thought.

A low raspy whispering laugh escaped Bella's lips.

"Yes, yes you did," she shook her head and looked up at me through her thick lashes. "I know what you said about your reasons. I get it, Edward. I just don't understand it."

Bella cupped my face with her tiny hand, rubbing a thumb along my jaw. I leaned in, captivated by the feeling of her hand on my skin I turned my head to place a kiss to her palm as I covered her hand with my own. I then wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into me.

"I'm sorry, Bella." I whispered into her neck as she placed her arms around my waist, holding me just as tightly. "I know I keep saying that, but I don't know what else to say. I can't say it enough." We sat for a long moment just staring into each other's eyes. I placed Bella's hand over my heart and held it there. I knew she could feel the pounding beneath her fingers as the rhythm almost took my breath from me.

"Edward, you don't have to tell me you're sorry. I know, and I understand, I really do. But I don't want….I don't need your regrets, Edward. I need you to understand me. I need you to know where I stand on this and why I feel the way I do. Can you understand? Can you see that I can't trust you?" Bella whispered, removing her hand from mine and scooting to the opposite end of the couch. My body ached at the loss of contact, my hands twitching to run through her thick mane of hair. She leaned against the arm of the couch, folding her arms around her abdomen. Chewing on her bottom lip she seemed to consider her next words carefully.

I took a deep breath, running a hand through my hair, so ashamed of what I had done. There was nothing I could say, she was exactly right. My actions had been atrocious. How could I have treated her this way? What the hell was wrong with me?

"Bella…." I choked on her name. "Please Bella," turning to look her in the eye. "Let me prove to you that I realized my mistakes. Give me the chance to prove I will never again be that stupid, that reckless with your heart. I understand that my actions have spoken volumes to the contrary, hurting you much more than my words. And again there is nothing more I have to offer than the lame ass excuses that I have given you already. Or say I'm sorry again." I reached out to her hoping that she wouldn't push me away, but if she did I would not be surprised. She was hesitant but she allowed me to pull her into my arms, resting her cheek on my chest, her arms folded between our bodies. I let out a deep sigh at how right it felt to hold her, to have her in my arms even if it was for only a moment. "In my idiotic attempt to let you have your own life I gave you nothing but fodder for the fire that has burned both of us. Of course you have every right to feel that I'm not trustworthy. I've done nothing but prove that that I'm not…..But God Bella…" I kissed the top of her head and then buried my face in the crook of her neck, willing her to give me a second chance. "I swear to God, Bella, if you can….if you can just give me this chance…. A chance, that's all I'm asking. If you can find it in you to let me earn your trust again, I swear to you I have meant everything I've said. I have meant every single word. Bella, I have never loved another the way I love you,"leaning down and placing a soft kiss on the side of her head. "If you can find it in your heart to let me try, I swear to you I will spend the rest of forever proving to you how much I love you with every fiber in my being, Bella." I tightened my arms around her small body, reveling in the feel of her pressed against every possible place it touched me, and knowing that this may very well be the last time I would hold her in this or any way. "Please Bella…..just a chance." I whispered against her cheek.

Bella pulled back, searching my face, her hands resting on my chest. She could say no. She had every right to refuse me. I held my breath, waiting for her decision. She had to feel my heart pounding a rapid rhythm in my chest. She seemed to find whatever she was looking for, and a small smile began to break across her face. I could hear the emotion in her voice when she finally spoke the words that brought my world into the light.

"I think……maybe I can do that, Edward," she whispered. "I don't want you to stay away any longer," her voice barely audible. "But I can't …..I can't just fall into where we were before. Can you understand that? I'm not that person anymore Edward. I can't be her anymore. Honestly, I don't want to be her anymore. Being that person is what hurt me. That Bella is the one that ignored all the red flags with Tyler. She's the one who let you walk out of her life without a fight. I gave up on us too, Edward. I let you walk away and took whatever you dished out, and I won't do that again. I need to know right now if you can handle that. I won't be a doormat for you or anyone else anymore. And I need to take this slow, whatever this is. _Can_ you do that? Can you take it slowly? Just…… let's see where things go from here." I could see the doubt building in her eyes as she tried to explain how she felt. I couldn't have been more elated. The mere idea that she wanted to be with me, and she didn't want to be away from me either, had me on cloud nine. Regardless of the fact that she needed to move slowly, the fact she wanted to move at all _with _me was more than I ever dreamed possible. I needed only her in my life. My head spun with the emotions that ran through my body while we were talking. I had gone from the very pits of hell to the highest high.

Bella wanted to try; she wanted to give _us_ a second chance. I just had to make sure not to fuck it up.

"Oh, darlin', you have no idea…..I would wait forever for you." I looked into her eyes, thanking the heavens above for whatever miracle was performed to allow me this chance.

I pressed my forehead to hers, wrapping my arms tighter around her body and pulling her closer to me, whispering, "Thank you. You won't regret this, I swear to you. I will make it right again.

"I will make you believe in me again, Bella. If it's the last thing I ever do, I will make you believe how much I love you, always have and always will," I said, placing a kiss to her forehead.

"Thank you, Bella…" I whispered against her skin as we both fought the emotions running between us. I knew she was frightened by it all, I couldn't blame her. The overwhelming sensations scared the hell out of me, too. But I would not allow another moment to be wasted. This was where I belonged.

I knew Bella must have felt that same tingle because a small whimper escaped her lips and she leaned into my body, placing her cheek against my chest, her arms snaked around my waist, fisting the back of my shirt in her hands. I tightened my arms around her body, rested my chin on her head, and hummed a contented sigh.

"Bella," I whispered into her hair as I placed a kiss there. "I'm moving back home."

Bella pulled back to look at me, eyes wide staring into mine a small smile began to play at the corners of her mouth.

"Really?" she asked hesitantly.

I smiled and nodded my head slowly.

"Yes, really, are you okay with that?" I wasn't sure if she would be happy about my change of address. I had a moment of panic as the thought occurred to me that maybe she was only agreeing to give _us_ another try because she thought I would be returning to Georgia and she would have that distance to be able to take things slower.

"I decided last week that I needed to come home. I didn't want to be away from my family anymore and I just knew that I belonged at home. I know you want to take things slow Bella and I understand that you need space. My being here won't change that; I'll give you all the space you need. We can take things as slo-"my words were cut off as Bella's tiny hand covered my mouth.

I looked down into her eyes and her body was shaking with the effort to hold in her laughter.

"Edward, shut up. Did you always talk this much? Cause I really don't remember you talking this much?" she teased. I smirked under her hand and placed a kiss to her palm before she removed it, placing it on my chest.

"No Bella, I didn't always ramble like a bumbling idiot, but thanks for the reminder," I teased back.

She laughed shaking her head before looking at me as a more serious expression overtook her face.

"Edward," she whispered. "I'm glad you're coming home. " Her arms came up to wrap around my neck and she buried her face in my chest. I tightened my arms around her pulling her into my body more fully.

"I've missed you, Edward," her voice was muffled but my heart soared at the sound of those words.

My breath caught in my throat, but I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face as the full force of her words hit me.

"Oh God Bella…..I've missed you so much."

* * *

**So there it is....**

**Leave me some love. Let me know what you thaught. And I want to tell you all how much I love all of you who are reading and reviewing. Thank you so so much! Truly you are the most awesome readers and I love you all for your feedback. The last couple of chapters have had the highest number of reviews so far and I thank you so much for that. I want to also thank all of those who even though haven't reviewed have put MMB on alert or favorited thank you so much.**

**If you haven't visited the Fornication Stations website the Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy contest is in the voting stages now. So run on over and read all the cowboy stories, there are some really good stories over there. And ya know if ya feel like it throw some love my way and vote for my one-shot One Last Ride. For those of ya who have read, reviewed and voted for One Last Ride, Edward sends a long wet kiss. If you have read and reviewed OLR you know that it will be my next story when Make Me Believe completes. So if you've read it and are interested put me on author alert or story alert so you will get it when it begins posting.  
Thanks again to all of you! Teaser for Ch 13 for those who review.....**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, it's all owned by SM. **

**As always I have to thank Jessica1971 cause she really works her magic on these chapters. She's awesome in her beta skills. (really you guys have no idea) **

**Okay so mood music:' I want to know what love is' by Mariah Carey. ****Their conversation continues but there's fluff afloat in this chapter....**

** I want to thank all of you who have reviewed, fav'd or alerted the story or put me on author alert. I can't tell you how much that means to me. Last chapter had the highest reviews so far so a huge thank you for that!! So without further delay......  
**

* * *

Ch 13

BPOV

"_Oh God Bella…..I've missed you so much."_

His words reverberated in my heart and in my head. I buried my head in his chest, trying to quell the rising panic in my body. I had wanted for so long to hear those words. For so long after he left I wanted to hear him tell me he was coming home, that he had missed me as much as I did him, to know that he ached for me the same way my body ached for his. And now that he said those words, my mind wanted to reject them on the general principle that if they were true how could he, why would he, stay away for so long?

His reasons made no sense to me, well that's not entirely true; they made perfect sense for Edward. He always had a tendency to have a very black and white view of the world. That idea concerned me on many levels, but I had told him it didn't matter anymore and, in all honesty, it didn't. I was tired of living in my past, in his past. I wanted to move forward. I needed to stop hiding from all the things in my life that had caused me pain, to stop burying my feelings and start living again. The events that brought me to where I am now were in my past. And though I would never fully recover from losing my daughter, I had to move forward and I wanted, no I _needed_, to see where Edward and I could carry this. I wanted to learn from the mistakes that we both made.

Mine with Tyler.

Edward's with us and his family.

But I wasn't going to continue paying for the mistakes that Edward and I both made. I didn't want to continue living my life closed off from everyone. Of course I was close with my family, but I had pushed all of the real emotions away, slapped a smile on my face and pushed on through. Really, what else could I do? It was the only way I could survive. And now Edward had come back in my life. He wanted to make amends, he wanted to make things right.

I wasn't sure how long it would take or if I would ever be able to fully trust him again but I wanted to try. I needed to have this man in my life again. I knew that in the very recesses of my heart. I would always need this man and I wanted nothing more than to be wrapped in his arms for the rest of my life. I just hoped that letting go and allowing Edward back in my life would not bite me on the ass.

Edward stretched his long legs, propping his feet on the coffee table. Settling deeper into the cushions, he laid his head on the back of the couch. I curled into his side, resting my head in the crook of his arm, my body relaxing, soft curves against hard planes of muscle. I felt his arms tighten around my body as he held me to him, pulling me closer to him. I relaxed into his body, allowing his warmth to envelope me, lulling me into an almost sleep like state. His rhythmic breathing and the steady beat of his heart below my ear was the sweetest music. I felt like I could breathe for the first time in a really long time and the panic I felt only moments ago began to leave my body. He absently ran his fingers through my hair and played with the fingers of my hand resting on his chest, his eyes closed.

I felt myself drifting off to sleep, but an incessant thought kept running through my head. The Edward here with me now was more like the boy I remembered, but the one that came home a few weeks ago….

"Edward?"

"Hmm?" he hummed in acknowledgement, still running his hand through my hair.

"Can I ask you something?" I whispered into his chest.

"Yes, love. You can ask me anything you want." I shifted my position so I could sit up and look at him. I needed to see his face; I wanted to look into his eyes. It was the only way I felt I could know if he was lying to me or not.

"Would you….would you have wanted this," I gestured to indicate the two of us, "If you hadn't come home now? I mean, I don't….. if you hadn't found out about everything, would you still have wanted this?" I searched his face and saw the tenderness in his eyes. I saw what I hoped were his true feelings for me shining back, but I wasn't sure. How could he want this now after only a few weeks of being home if he hadn't wanted it for nine years? I just couldn't make sense of it all.

"I don't know what I'm really asking, Edward. I just don't understand I guess, and I don't want you to want this now just because….I need to know why you decided _now_ that you were willing to try, to fight for us. Why now? What changed? If you didn't think that I, that we, were worth it for the last nine years…. Why now?"

My voice was little more than a whisper by the time I finished. I needed to know what had changed, other than his full knowledge of things I never had any intention of him finding out about. I needed to know that was not the reason for his change of heart. I needed to know that his desire for us was more than guilt, that he truly felt for me the things that he had professed. And though I was terrified of the answer, I had to know, now, before we could move on from here.

He didn't answer for what felt like forever, but in actuality was only a few seconds.

Edward sat up, placing his feet on the floor, leaning his forearms on his knees. He ran a hand through his thick hair before turning to look at me. The pure fear and agony that I saw reflected back on his face took my breath away.

"Like I said earlier, when I came home that last Christmas I was ready to finally tell you basically everything I told you today. I knew I had made a huge mistake, Bella. I had dated a girl just before coming home and …..she helped me figure out a lot of things. One being that my heart was really with you and that all the things I had done up to that point, she helped me see that they were really stupid. But then I came home and you and Tyler….."

"So, you knew then? Why…..why did you walk away from your family, though?"

I couldn't understand why he would walk away from his family. They had always meant everything to Edward. It didn't make sense.

"Yeah I knew then, but Bella when I saw how happy you were, I couldn't say what I knew to be true. I wanted nothing more than to be with you but you were with Tyler. You had started a new life and I couldn't take that away if you were really happy. But it didn't help the hurt, and I got angry. I was angry at myself because I had waited so long and you had really moved on. Then I was angry with you because," he paused taking in another deep breath, "well, because you were able to do something that I wasn't. My parents tried to talk to me about it that night after everyone had gone home and of course I blew up at them. I left the next morning and well…..like I said, I cut pretty much all ties that night," he rolled his hand in a gesture as to say 'you know the rest'.

I sat stunned for a long moment, trying to digest what he was telling me. How different our lives could have been had either one of us just said the things that we were feeling - had he not lied, had I known that his words that day were a lie, had I truly listened to my heart and not married Tyler.

We both made so many mistakes and those mistakes ripped us to shreds.

I looked down to where our hands were joined and traced the lines on the back of his hand. My eyes burned with the tears I worked to hold back, my voice breaking as I tried to speak.

"Wow," I said, pausing again to gather my thoughts. "So now you what? You know what happened between Tyler and me, and now it's okay for you to step in? You can step in because he's gone. You don't have someone standing in the way now, so it's okay to step back into my life, now that you don't really have to fight for us?" As hard as those words were to say I knew I needed to know if his desire to be with me now was because it was easy to step in and out of my life this way. I needed to know why he wanted this now, why he was willing to work so hard now to have something with me when he couldn't do it before.

"No. No Bella, it has nothing to do with that. Well, that's not totally true; it does have to do with you and Tyler. You're no longer together. I couldn't let my feelings be known when you were married, Bella. But this, my desire to be with you has nothing to do with my not wanting to fight for us or out of some guilt I may hold for what happened after I left you. I'm sorry for what happened to you and I would do anything I could to take that pain away. But Bella, you have to know that my feelings are true; I have only always loved you. That first night I was home," he reached up with his free hand to cup my cheek, caressing it with the pad of his thumb. The remorse for his words, his actions were clear on his face. My eyes closed of their own accord as I leaned into his touch.

"Yeah…" I whispered. "You really hurt me that night, Edward. I couldn't understand why you were so angry with me. We hadn't seen each other in years and you were so…..cruel. I didn't understand why it would matter to you if I was having an affair. You didn't have any feelings for me so why would it matter?" I held up a finger to stop him as he opened his mouth.

"I know what you've said, Edward, but at the time I didn't know that, and I couldn't understand why you were so angry at me." I watched as the emotions swept over him. Edward released my hand and scrubbed his face running both hands through his hair, pulling the ends.

"God Bella, I have hurt you in so many different ways. I'm sorry, there's just nothing else for me to tell you. No way for me to explain how much I wish I acted differently. How sorry I am for ever making you feel the way I have, but I can promise you this," he turned toward me, running a hand up and down my arm soothingly. "I will do everything I can to make sure you know how precious you are to me. I promise to spend the rest of our lives making sure that you know how much you mean to me, how much you have always meant to me. You are the most important person in my life and I'm so sorry I was such an ass to you that night and all the years before that. Carlisle told me about your divorce that night, after you left and Emmett threatened to kick my ass." Edward snorted a laugh at the look on my face. "I deserved it; he should have kicked my ass all the way back to Georgia." His lips curled up into that one sided smirk and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face, as well.

"Alice wouldn't speak to me for days after that, either. But the thing that sealed the deal and I knew I had to make you understand how much I needed you in my life was that night at Shenanigan's. Do you remember that? You were out with Seth. And Bella," pausing, he slipped off the couch to kneel in front of me, positioning himself between my knees, his hands on my thighs. His voice was soft when he began speaking again. "Bella, you were so beautiful that night. I saw you out on the dance floor, you took my breath away. I had a long talk with Esme and she set me straight on a lot of things." Edward's hands ran up and down the outside of my thighs. My heart was slamming against my ribs; I wouldn't be surprised if Edward could hear the rapid thrumming. "But above all, I knew I needed to come home. I needed to be here even if you couldn't ever forgive me. I knew I had to make things right between us. Even if you were with Seth, I had to figure out some way to at least let you know I still cared, that I still loved you. I couldn't do what I did when you were with Tyler. I had to let you know this time, even if you didn't feel the same anymore." Edward paused, looking into my eyes, pleading with his for me to understand. I wrapped my hands around his biceps as he inched closer to me, so close that his breath washed over my face.

"After I talked with Esme I knew I had a phone call to make. I called my boss and told him I quit. I made arrangements to go back in a few weeks to tie up the loose ends there and with the lease on my apartment." Edward cupped my face between his large palms, my arms slipped around his neck. His eyes never left mine, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm tired of hiding from my feelings, Bella. I'm not running or denying my love for you anymore. You've given me the chance to prove to you how deep those feelings are." Edward leaned toward me, placing a gentle kiss to my forehead, then the tip of my nose. He pulled back, looking deep into my eyes.

"May I kiss you, Bella?" he whispered, his face only inches from mine.

A slight whimper escaped me as I stared back at him. I licked my lips unconsciously and saw his eyes darken. His lips parted as he waited for my answer. I could hardly breathe with the intensity of the emotions running through my body at that moment. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted it so much my body ached, but it terrified me at the same time. I couldn't deny the fire that was burning in the pit of my stomach and I knew that no one had ever ignited that fire like Edward. Did I really want to continue to refuse my body, refuse my heart?

I wasn't even sure when I started nodding my head until I saw the light in Edward's eyes as he slowly leaned in to me, bringing his lips closer to mine. My fingers found their way into the hair at the nape of his neck and I heard his sharp intake of breath just as his lips met mine. They were soft and warm. He tasted just like I remembered as our lips slid against one another. I couldn't stop the whimper that escaped me as I felt his tongue brush along my bottom lip.

I opened my mouth to him as his hands slid into my hair, holding me to him as he deepened the kiss. I sucked his upper lip into my mouth and he moaned a low, sexy sound. I slid my body to the edge of the couch and intertwined my legs with his, pressing my body more fully against his. With the new position I put myself in, I came into contact with his very noticeable erection and another moan escaped his lips as I gasped, breaking the kiss. I stared at him wide eyed and we were both panting and trying to catch our breath.

"Sorry," I whispered, ducking my head under his chin. Untangling my legs from his, I scooted back to put some space between our bodies but kept my head pressed against his chest.

I felt his chest expand as he took a deep breath. Blowing it out, he said, "No Bella, please don't apologize. I should be the one apologizing, yet again. I told you we could take things slowly and I pushed again at the first opportunity." I felt him press his lips to my hair, lingering there as if he were memorizing the scent of my hair.

"So, what are your plans for today?" He asked as he stood and slid back onto the couch next to me, but keeping a little distance between us. I wasn't sure if he was upset or just trying to give me some space.

"Um…..well, the only thing that I had planned for sure is running a routine with Raven and Tig, otherwise nothing really out of the norm. Why?" I played with the hem of my shirt distractedly. My mind running a million miles a minute, I wondered if he would want to come watch me ride today.

"No reason really, just wondering. Would you mind if I tagged along and hung out with you?" Edward looked almost shy and I realized he was probably thinking that asking to hang out was pushing and not taking things _slow _again. He must have taken my delay in answering as confirmation that I didn't want him to spend the day with me because he immediately began back peddling.

"Uh…never mind, it's okay Bella, forget I asked. I'll….I'll just go home and you call me whenever you're finished and we'll talk. Maybe we can go out to dinner this week?" he stammered.

I giggled despite my best efforts not to. It was a completely inappropriate reaction to the tension that seemed to have built between us again, but it was kind of funny to see Edward so flustered. He always seemed so put together and so in control. The control over his mouth had certainly flown out the window.

"What?" he asked with a completely confused look on his face.

"You're kind of funny when you're flustered." I said with the corners of my mouth twitching under the effort to hold in my laughter.

"Huh?"

I giggled again, shaking my head at the look on his face. He was smiling but still looked totally confused about why I would be laughing or trying not to laugh right now. I scooted closer to him and he threw an arm across my shoulders.

"Edward," shaking my head again, dropping it to his chest, I giggled like a little girl. "I wasn't going to tell you not to come with me. I'd…" I felt apprehensive suddenly. "I would like it if you were there today. You need to get the supplement for testing anyway, but if you don't want to do that today it's okay…." My voice trailed off and I closed my eyes. I felt the fear begin to creep up in my chest.

The memories of Tyler and me arguing over the amount of time I spent at the barn began flashing through my mind. Tyler had grown up on a ranch; he should have understood the blood, sweat and tears it took to keep a ranch this size running. But it was always a point of contention between the two of us. Maybe Edward would feel the same way. He might not understand either, or he would need more than I was able to give. Maybe this wasn't a good idea….

A finger curled under my chin, tilting my face upward.

"Bella," his voice fell over me like a velvet blanket. "Open your eyes, love. Look at me."

I slowly opened my eyes, looking into his beautiful face. My heart fluttered at the intensity of his gaze.

He bent down, placing a gentle kiss to my cheek as his hand slid around my neck, cupping the back of my head. I couldn't stop my eyes drifting closed or the sigh that escaped me as his lips touched my skin. I had been fighting these emotions for so long and even more so since he came home, and they were beginning to overwhelm me as I was finally able to experience a little piece of what I missed so much, of what my body craved.

I missed his touch, his skin against mine. I missed his smell. It was solely Edward, sandalwood and fresh and man. I inhaled deeply, allowing it to wash over me and prove to me that he really was here, that today had really happened. I had missed him so much, and not just the relationship. Edward had also been my friend, and I missed that as much as the other parts of what we once shared. I needed him in my life, I knew this with all my heart. And in that moment, I knew I would do what it took to work through the trust issues. Edward was committed to proving I could trust him and I would have to believe he would do that.

My emotions were still so all over the place, I felt a little crazy.

I wanted him close, I wanted to feel his body pressed against mine, his lips on my skin; yet my heart almost stopped at the possibility he would be gone when I opened my eyes. That I would wake up to find all of Edward's declarations, all his promises, were nothing but a beautifully vivid dream and I was still alone; that Edward wasn't here with me now. My hands balled into fists where they rested on his chest and I felt the fabric of his shirt wrinkle.

_Edward._

His name echoed through my mind and my heart. His voice softly sliding over my body as he spoke, bringing me back to what I prayed was my reality.

"I want to be wherever you are, love. I only wanted to make sure you understood that I wasn't trying to push for more than you're ready to give. I'm following your lead, Bella."

I only nodded my head, my voice had left me and I wasn't sure what, if anything, would come out of my mouth at that moment.

A half hour later Raven was saddled up and ready for a work out session. Edward perched himself on the top rail of the ring. He smiled at me as I lifted myself into the saddle and gathered up the reins.

I blushed and shook my head as he winked at me with a cocky smirk plastered on his face. Pressing a heel into each of Raven's sides, I eased him into a walk along the perimeter of the arena. I gradually had him increasing his speed to a trot then a slow lope. We did figure eights through the center of the ring before slowing to a walk. I ran through a few simple cues for several minutes, just letting him get comfortable and remember the simple stuff before moving on to more challenging maneuvers.

When I felt he was limber enough and ready for a real session, I signaled Laurent to release the steers into the arena. Raven's ears immediately perked at the sight of the fifteen or so young cattle that entered at the far end of the arena. When we go to Las Vegas in a few weeks there would be thirty or more head of cattle he would have to weave his way through and work the right animal for the highest amount of points possible. I knew he had the potential to do really well, and therefore that meant the ranch would do well. But he had the potential to blow up, that was the one thing that concerned me most about his performance and whether we were really ready for Las Vegas. He was a nervy thing and sometimes his apprehension got the best of him; when it did he just lost all concentration.

I could only hope the change in surroundings didn't throw him too much, and was glad that we were going in a day early. That would give him time to get used to the new arena and I could do a short work out so he could be more familiar before the main event. Our ranch had a lot riding on this event and I hoped that the two of us lived up to the expectations. If we could keep the possibility that our own vet had poisoned one of our best brood mares from getting out, and if Raven performed as well as I knew he could, then we could put the ranch on the map.

I still couldn't wrap my head around the possibility that James had poisoned Lacy. As the thought swept through my mind, I looked up to find Edward's eyes locked on me. His gaze was so intense, it took my breath away and I made a miscue that had Raven spinning away from the cow that he was currently working. The sudden movement caught me completely off guard and I lost my seat for a moment. I scrambled to right myself from a position around Raven's neck instead of in the saddle. I looked up, mortified that I had almost fallen off in front of Edward, to find him sprinting toward me. He was already half way across the arena, a look of terror on his face.

I watched his body relax as he saw that I was still in the saddle, he smirked as he took in my confused expression.

"Are you okay?" he asked as I walked Raven closer to him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just made a miscue, he spun and I wasn't ready for it. It was my fault." I looked down at him as he placed a hand just above my knee.

"You scared the crap out of me. I thought you were going to fall off," he smiled up at me, squeezing my leg.

I snorted, "Well Edward, it wouldn't be the first time that happened, ya know? I fall off a lot. It's all part of the game."

"I know, but still," his face was serious.

"Edward?"

"I'm sorry, Bella. I just…..I don't want you to get hurt," he all but whispered, dropping his gaze to the ground.

"Hey?" I waited for him to look up at me again. "It happens, Edward. You know that. You've seen me get thrown more times than you can probably count; it's not a big deal."

I really couldn't understand why he seemed so freaked out about my _almost_ accident.

"I know, you're right…..I just……just be careful Bella, okay?" He squeezed my leg one more time before releasing it, patting Raven on the shoulder and stepping back.

I smiled at him and turned Raven to continue where we left off.

~*~

Having completed Raven's work out without any further incidents, I was really pleased with the progress we had made. He was ready for Las Vegas; I had to be confidant in that. And I really couldn't be more excited to show him off. I was just finishing up the session with Tig when I noticed Emmett and Charlie talking with Edward. I urged Tig into a slow lope across the arena toward them.

"So how long will it take to get the results on the supplement back from the lab?" Emmett asked as I stopped Tig just in front of where they stood.

"Well, once I get it shipped off to the lab it'll probably take a week or so to run the tests and then we should know something." Edward answered with a serious look on his face. He moved, opening the gate so I could maneuver Tig outside of the arena.

"You don't think that's going to help much, huh? Knowing whether the supplement was poisoned or not?" Charlie had seen the same look of concern I noticed on Edward's face.

"Well, honestly Charlie, no I don't. I think that maybe once we know whether that's the source of the poison or not we can go to the SPCA and place a complaint, but I'm just not sure how they will be able to prove that James or Victoria are the ones responsible. I mean, right now it's circumstantial. They supplied the supplement but it could be argued that one of your ranch hands, or anybody for that matter, put the poison into the supplement if the tests come back that it's there. I'm just concerned that it's not going to be so easily solved and that we may never be able to prove who really did it, even after we know for sure that's where it came from." Edward's eyes met mine and I felt my stomach churn at the realization we may not be able to bring anyone to justice for Lacy's murder.

"Edward?" I whispered as my heart pounded in my chest. The anger I felt at the fact someone had done this to any animal, but especially an animal I held precious, was infuriating and I felt tears welling in my eyes. I was mad and frustrated because I knew he was right. How would we ever know who actually did this to Lacy?

"I'm sorry, Bella." Edward's voice was soft and I knew that he truly meant that; he knew how true his words were and how much that hurt.

"Hey, baby girl listen, we'll figure it out ya know. There has to be some way to figure out who did this. We have to be able to tie somebody to it, let's not go givin' up before we even get started, okay?" Emmett grinned up at me. He always was a silver lining kind of guy.

"That's right, Bella, we just gotta take one step at a time." Charlie patted me on the calf of my leg as I stopped near him and Emmett on my way to the barn.

"I know, dad. I just….UGH! It really pisses me off that somebody would do this in the first place and then…just…." I was so mad and frustrated I couldn't even form a coherent thought.

"I know, baby girl, but we'll figure it out. I know some folks at the SPCA and you know I got an old friend that's a Ranger, so we'll talk with some folks. We'll figure it out or at least we'll damn sure do everything we can to. Alright?" Charlie rubbed a hand over his mustache to smooth it down and looked up at me, trying to convey that he wouldn't let this go any more than the rest of us would.

"I know, dad."

He patted my leg once more before he and Emmett went to check with Laurent on arrangements for while we were in Las Vegas. Laurent would be making the trip with us so Emmett wanted to make sure the other hands were aware of the business that had to be handled while we were gone.

I made my way into the barn and led Tig into the crossties. I removed his bridle, replacing it with a halter, and attached the ties to the metal brackets on either side. I looped the bridle over the horn of my saddle and saw movement out of the corner of my eye as I loosened the cinch. Turning, I saw Edward leaning against the wall nearest where I stood. He made a move as if he was going to help me unsaddle Tig.

"I got it, Edward. I can do it, but thank you." I said, returning to the task at hand.

When I looked over my shoulder at him he held such a troubled look on his face. I knew immediately that he felt he should have been able to give me more hope of a resolution on the whole Lacy issue, but I knew he was only being honest when Charlie asked. He gave an honest opinion; I wasn't upset about that, I was glad he was honest about what he thought the chances were. I was mad because I knew he was right and it would be a battle to prove who really did it unless there was some hard evidence to prove their guilt.

"Edward, really you can't feel responsible for this. It's not your fault. I'm mad as hell about it, but it's not your fault that we don't know for sure who did it. Okay?"

He just nodded his head but continued to stare a hole in the ground with a deep frown on his face, arms crossed over his chest.

"Edward?" He didn't respond just kept looking down.

I sighed. Removing the saddle and pad from Tigs back, I looked at him again. He didn't look up. I carried them into the tack room placing them in their places on the racks and hanging the bridle up. When I stepped back out into the hall of the barn, I noticed Edward hadn't moved from his place against the wall.

_Really_? I shook my head as I walked over to where he stood.

He couldn't take the blame for everything like this. That attitude, that feeling of being responsible for everything, is one of the things that caused a problem for us in the past. And I'd be damned if I was going to let it start wedging its way into whatever we might be able to build now.

Hands on hips, I huffed when he didn't acknowledge my presence. Crossing my arms over my chest and mimicking his stance, I leaned against the wall just in front of him.

"Edward, look at me."

He didn't look up so I tried again and enunciated every word.

"Edward. Look. At. Me."

Finally, he raised his eyes to me and the sadness I saw there broke my heart. It instantly melted away the annoyance I felt at his emo tendencies. I closed the distance between us and placed my hands on either side of his neck, my thumbs stroking his strong jaw.

"Edward," I whispered. "You can not do this…..this, what you're doing right now. Taking responsibility for things that are out of your control is what got in our way a long time ago and I refuse to let you do this now. If we're really going to do this," I looked at him pointedly so he understood I meant us, "then you have to stop taking responsibility for the bad stuff that you have no control over."

He released a long shuddering breath and looked into my eyes before his arms wrapped around my waist and he kissed the tip of my nose.

"I know, I'm sorry, I can't help it. I want to be able to fix this and I just don't know if it can be fixed. Not the way it should be. I mean, the laws are there but we have to know for sure who did it." Leaning his forehead against mine, one hand wrapped around my neck while the other rested at the small of my back, holding me to him.

"Well, let's just get the test results and then go from there, 'k?"

I was overwhelmed with the sensations that were running through my body with Edward holding me this close to him. My heart beat faster and my breathing sped up with his proximity and the intimacy of our embrace. We had talked this morning about taking things slow and I knew that I wasn't ready to rush into anything, but standing here now in his arms, my body wanted anything but to take things slowly. I leaned further into him, tucking my head under his chin and sighing contentedly as I felt his strong arms envelope me in a tight hug.

"Okay, Bella. I promise to try my best not to get so upset about things that are out of my control. I don't mean to be so controlling, you know that, right?" Edward pulled back to look at me, trying to read my face.

I smiled and kissed his chin.

"Yes Edward, I know you don't mean to be that way. But….well we both have things like that we need to work on." I patted his chest and pulled out of his arms. I smirked at him when he groaned in protest.

"You know, it's getting late and we haven't even had lunch. How 'bout we grab a burger at the diner, like a late lunch-early dinner kind of thing?" I asked as I snapped a lead to Tig's halter and released him from the crossties.

Edward fell in step beside me as I led Tig to the wash-rack where I could rinse the sweat and grime off before returning him to his stall.

"Yeah, that sounds good. Where is that supplement? I'll get it while you're finishing up with Tig and then we can head out to get something to eat."

I attached the crossties to Tig's halter as Edward turned to walk back the way we came, heading in the direction he needed to go to retrieve the supplement.

"Oh yeah, it's in the feed room." I pointed to the correct door. "There's a shelf in there with a whole bunch of bottles and what not. It's a big white bottle. I think it even has Lacy's name written on it," I called to him, turning on the water. I was testing the temperature when a wicked smile began to play across my face and an even more wicked thought crossed my mind. Edward's back was to me as he walked down the hall on his way to the feed room. It would be the perfect opportunity and really it was just too good to refuse.

In the sweetest voice I could muster, I called to Edward. As he turned around, I opened up the hose full blast, hitting him square in the face with a huge stream of water, soaking him and taking his breath away for a moment.

He stood stunned, dripping wet and glaring at me as I doubled over, clutching my stomach at the look on his face.

I couldn't even catch my breath as the waves of laughter overtook me. When I looked up Edward was stalking toward me with the most mischievous crooked grin on his face. I squealed, dropping the water hose and taking off running down the hall of the barn. I could hear his footsteps close behind and I knew he was gaining on me.

If I could get out of the barn I might have a chance of out maneuvering him, but damn he was fast. I had forgotten how fast he could run and he closed in on me, sweeping me off my feet and over his shoulder as I continued to laugh so hard I could hardly breathe.

"Edward, put me down!" I squeaked as I kicked my feet, but he only growled at me, continuing out the end of the barn toward the paddock.

"Edward, what are you doing? Where….where are you carrying me?" I was still laughing so hard I could hardly speak and I was gasping for breath.

Just then I realized what he was planning to do and I began squirming and fighting to get down before he was able to accomplish his mission.

"OH MY GOD! Edward, don't you dare. You better not du-" my words were cut off as Edward released me in to the large watering tub. I came up spitting and coughing as I had sucked in a mouthful of water when I was unceremoniously dropped into the tub.

Edward was literally rolling on the ground with his laughter.

"That was not funny!" I glared at him as I pushed at the hair that had fallen out of my braid and was now stuck to my face, covering my eyes.

"Oh, yes it was," he gasped. "That may have just been the funniest thing I've seen in a long time."

I splashed water at him and he only laughed harder.

"Well if you were any kind of gentlemen, you'd get your ass up off the ground and help me out of this damn thing," I grumbled, trying to hold back my own laughter and glared at him.

"Oh well, now when you put it like that," he tried to quell his giggles as he stood and dusted himself off and walked over to where I sat, legs dangling out of the tub, arms crossed in annoyance.

That cocky, crooked grin was plastered on his face again and I wanted to punch him and lick his face at the same time. He offered his hand to help me out of the tub and I reached up to take it, but just as his fingers closed around mine, I grabbed his wrist with my other hand and jerked him into the tub.

Edward squeaked like a little girl and tried to catch himself as he tumbled into the water on top of me.

I couldn't hold the laughter in any longer as he spluttered and splashed, trying to right himself with the position he was in now. He wrapped his arms around my waist before I had any idea what was going on and flipped me over. I was now lying on top of him and he was pressed against the back of the tub.

"So….who's laughing now Isabella?" He growled in my ear. I shivered as an electric current ran down my spine.

* * *

**Okay...so I know a bit on the fluffy side. They're trying, they have to be with one another to try but they're not 'together' at this point. **

** Reviewers will get a teaser for the next chapter. Again really thank you to all of you who have reviewed, fav'd or alerted this story.**


	14. Chapter 14

* * *

**A/N I want to say Thank You to all of you who have reviewed, fav'd or alerted this story. It's unbelievable to me the response and I truly thank you all. **

**Thanks to my twin, Jessica1971, seriously if you knew you how much we're alike it's frightening at times. Still trying to figure out how I can get her a gold medal because she really needs one for the magic that she works on these chapters. **

**Music for the chapter: Want to make a memory by Bon Jovi. **

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. No copyright infringement intended. **

**

* * *

  
**

CH 14. Wanna make a memory

EPOV

I stood in front of my bathroom mirror trying unsuccessfully to tame the mop of hair that adorned my head. I growled, finally giving up, there's just really no hope. I scrubbed over my chin debating on the necessity of shaving, feeling the day's growth I decided to break down and just do it.

Tonight needed to be perfect. And on the off chance that Bella let me get close enough again I didn't want to have stubble making it uncomfortable for her.

I ran my razor under the warm water. Shaking my head, I snorted a laugh as I remembered dumping Bella in the watering trough a few days ago. I haven't laughed that hard in longer than I can remember. Seeing her shocked face and her arms flailing around trying to right herself in the water was just……hilarious.

And then she pulled me into the tub with her. I was shocked to say the least, but I'm not sure who wound up being the most surprised when I flipped her on top of me, holding her body to mine.  
I smiled at my reflection, remembering the blush that colored her cheeks.

That brought on the memory of the discussion I had with Emmett and Charlie that day.

They were both curious when they saw me watching Bella run through her training routines. I remembered the look on Emmett's face as he asked what happened. I guess he was trying to reconcile the way Bella and I had interacted at the wedding versus the fact I was here today obviously for her.

_Emmett folded his large arms on the railing of the fence, resting his chin in the crook of his elbow as he watched Bella just as intently as I had for the past hour._

"_So?" he muttered not taking his eyes away from his sister in the middle of the arena._

"_So?" I repeated._

"_So….how is it that you're here today when she's done everything she can to stay away from you for the past week?" Emmett lifted his head and looked me in the eye. He was my friend, I knew that he would do anything to help me without question, but right now he was Bella's overprotective big brother._

"_We talked, Em. She asked me last night to come over this morning so we could talk. So, we talked." I didn't break eye contact and answered as honestly as I could. I wouldn't give him the details of that talk or tell him about the kiss, but I could be honest with how things had led to me being here now._

_He stared at me for several minutes before a smile spread across his face and he slapped me on the back._

"_Damn that's good, man. I'm glad for it. About time you two actually talked with one another instead of this dancin' around one another shit you've been playin' with." He continued to smile as he turned back to watch Bella making a long pass to the outside of the small herd of cows she was working._

"_Don't hurt her Edward. She's had enough hurt….just don't hurt her," his voice was quiet but I could hear the strain in it. The things that had occurred in Bella's life had affected her family heavily as well._

_It was then that Charlie joined us. Leaning against the fence railing much the same way as Emmett had, flanking me on either side._

"_How are ya, Edward?" Charlie greeted._

"_I'm fine sir, you?" I answered, shifting a bit uncomfortably. I had grown up in Charlie Swan's presence but he could be an intimidating man in his own right. He was a man of few words, but when he spoke they carried a great deal of wisdom and I knew he cared deeply for his daughter. I wasn't sure where I stood with him on the subject of trying to rebuild something with Bella. He could be totally opposed to the idea and I wasn't sure how much weight his opinion carried with Bella. Would she decide that she couldn't take a chance if her father didn't approve? I was pretty sure he never approved of Tyler and she had married him. But maybe she would feel she needed to listen more to her parents, and if they weren't for us being together again….._

_Charlie's voice brought me back from my mini panic attack._

"_So Edward, what do you think the chances are for us finding out who and why on this poisoning thing?" Charlie was speaking to me but his eyes never left Bella at the far end of the arena._

"_I'm just not sure, Charlie." I answered honestly, noticing that Bella was headed towards where we were standing. _

I remembered the look of pure rage and frustration that Bella wore on her face when she joined our conversation and realized that neither of us felt the odds were good that we would be able to prove who the true culprit was. I couldn't even begin to explain how pissed off that made me. I had promised Bella that I would stop being so controlling, that I would not take responsibility for everything. She had a point; that was one of the major factors that got in our way so many years ago. It frightened me to a degree that I had not learned to deal with it better in the years since I had left. If anything, that tendency seemed to intensify. That was definitely something to put further thought into.

Finishing my shave and the rest of my routine in the bathroom, I stepped out into my room. Rummaging through my dresser, I grabbed some boxer's and a pair of socks. I dropped the towel I had wrapped around my waist and slipped on the boxer's, throwing my socks on the bed. I grabbed my pants and pulled them on, fastening the belt. I found the button down Esme had pressed for me hanging on my closet door.

I smiled to myself, thinking how much I had missed those small gestures of how much she really cared about me. Having my mother around to do things like ironing my shirt, though I hadn't asked her to do it. She knew I would need a nicely pressed shirt for tonight and made sure I had one.

My chest tightened at the thought of how I had hurt her with my distance from the family over the last several years. I slipped the shirt on, while buttoning it up I made a mental note to thank her for her thoughtfulness. Maybe I would take her out to lunch before I had to go back to Georgia.

As I rolled my sleeves up to my elbows, I froze, thinking about the time when I would have to leave Bella. We were just beginning to make progress. I was following Bella's lead and I was happy to keep pace with her as long as we kept moving in that direction, but I realized that in just a couple weeks I would have to leave to tie up the loose ends with my job, ending my life in Georgia. I had to admit I wasn't the least bit sentimental about leaving Georgia. I would go back because I had given my word that I would complete the transition of my projects to the veterinarian who would be taking my place, and I had to sign the paperwork ending the lease on my apartment. I lived close to the campus so the building manager had no problems leasing it out almost immediately, but since it was summer semester the new tenant wasn't ready to move in yet, so I had some time to finalize things and get my stuff packed and shipped back here.

Bella and I had not seen each other since Sunday, but we spoke on the phone almost every night. We made plans to go to The Grey Moss Inn for dinner and I was looking forward to spending some time with her and getting to know one another again. Bella had been really busy preparing for Las Vegas and there were several calls that I had to field from my office. Though I understood the importance of handling my responsibilities and tying up the loose ends, some of the phone calls were just ridiculous. My staff could have handled most of the things they were questioning themselves.

I made contact with the lab regarding the samples of the supplement. I was positive it held the poison responsible for Lacy's death. Even though I had put in a stat request, it would still be another week before the lab completed all the tests. If the test results were positive, the lab would send them directly to the SPCA. I was being impatient, but I wanted to move forward with this and get to the truth of what actually happened. After speaking with Charlie the day before and finding out what information he was able to gather from his friends within the SPCA as well as the Rangers, they assured him that they would move quickly once they recieved the information needed to start an investigation.

I knew even though she tried not to let it affect her, Bella was just as frustrated by the waiting process. She was ready to get this over with and try to put it behind her so she could concentrate on her training program and expanding the ranch's endeavors. Bella and Emmett laid out an unbelievably aggressive business plan for expanding the ranch, and her fears were well warranted regarding the ways in which even a rumor of a purposeful poisoning could hurt their reputation and the future of the ranch.

Sitting on my bed to slip my shoes on, I grabbed my wallet and keys from the nightstand and made my way down the hall while fastening my watch to my wrist. Not paying attention to where I was going, I ran right into my father as I rushed down the stairs.

"Where's the fire, son?" he laughed, placing a hand on the railing to steady himself.

"I'm sorry, dad. I didn't see you."

"Well that was pretty obvious. Off to pick up Bella?" Carlisle quirked an eyebrow with a smile, his eyes dancing with the effort he exerted trying not to laugh out loud.

I ducked my head and looked up at him sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Hm….that obvious, is it?" I knew there was no hiding my excitement about the night that lay ahead.

I wanted tonight to be special for Bella. I hoped that we could reconnect more. I wanted to keep the conversation open. If I was going to earn her trust fully, we had to talk openly and honestly, the way we had done on Sunday. I tried my best to keep those lines open during our phone conversations the last couple of days, but there were times when I was concerned she was closing herself off to me.

Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder and shook his head, smiling, "Have a good time, Edward."

"I'm planning on doing just that." I returned his smile.

Saying my goodbyes to my parents, I made my way out to the garage and my father's car. Sliding into the seat, I thought about the trip I had to make to settle my old life. One thing I was looking forward to about going back to Georgia was getting my car and not being required to depend on my parents for transportation. This borrowing my father's car business made me feel like a teenager, and I'm not really fond of the feeling.

I would be flying back to Atlanta in two weeks and would be driving my car home once I had everything settled there. Bella, as well as my parents, was less than ecstatic I would be driving half way across the country alone. But I didn't want to pay to have my car shipped home and there really was no reason I couldn't drive back to Texas.

The next thing on my to-do list as soon as I was here permanently was finding a house. My parents made it abundantly clear over the last few days that they wanted me to stay with them on the ranch. Although I wanted to be close to them, I lived on my own for too long to be back in the same house as my parents for an extended period of time.

The fact that Alice and Jasper would be returning from their honeymoon before I left for Georgia complicated the matter as well. That many people in one house, even if it was the size of my parents, was just too much. Jasper and Alice had an in-law suite connected to the main house, so technically they had separate quarters, but it still felt claustrophobic with everyone home at the same time. I needed a space of my own. I couldn't even entertain the thought that Bella and I might make a move in that direction at this point. I wanted to have that hope but I would only be setting myself up for trouble if I let my mind wander down that path just yet. She needed to proceed slowly and I understood that; I had to prove myself to her. In all honesty, I needed to prove to myself that I could be the man she needed me to be, the man I wanted to be. With all of my heart I wanted to be what she needed. Bella was not the same girl she had once been, she was much stronger. She had always been stubborn, that wasn't the change. It was the maturity of someone who had suffered through more pain than a woman should ever endure. I could not wrap my head around all that she had suffered or the fact that, though my mistakes had hurt her, Tyler had kicked her at her lowest and abandoned her when she needed him most. It made my blood boil, and the guilt of knowing that I had abandoned her just as effectively had the bitterness of my mistakes choking me. Bella assured me she held me in no way responsible for what occurred in her life and I knew she was right, that I was not directly responsible, but I continued to struggle with letting go of that feeling.

I sighed heavily, the butterflies making my stomach churn as I turned the car into Bella's drive. I wasn't sure why I was so nervous tonight. It's not like we were complete strangers, we did know one another. I don't think I was this nervous on our very first 'first date'. Putting the car in park and taking deep breaths trying to calm down, I ran a shaking hand through my hair. I couldn't make it look any wilder, but I checked the mirror just to see how much of a mess it was.

Groaning in defeat as I looked at my reflection, "Well she always said she liked it natural, I hope that's still true."

I flipped the visor back into position and got out of the car. Music was wafting out of the open windows of the house as I stepped onto the front porch and rang the door bell.

My breath caught when Bella opened the door. She was simply stunning. She was wearing a flowing black dress with tiny straps. Her hair was swept away from her face in soft curls on top of her head. Her long, graceful neck was touched by small tendrils that fell around her face.

"Holy God…" I murmured under my breath as my eyes drank her in greedily.

Clearing my throat, I smiled at her as she looked down, smoothing the front of her dress. She looked up at me with a shy smile on her face.

"Hi," she breathed.

"Hi," my voice hardly more than a whisper, matching her tone.

"Bella, you look amazing." I reached out, taking her hand in mine; I brought it to my lips and brushed a kiss across her delicate knuckles.

I heard Bella's breath hitch as my lips made contact with her hand. The current that ran down my spine had me working to suppress the shudder it created. My body was instantly awake at the very sight of this woman standing before me.

I smiled at the tiny whimpered sigh that left her pouty lips. It had my heart racing and my body flaming with desire. I looked up to see the most beautiful smile break across her face and her eyes shine. I thought my heart would burst; I had not seen that look in her eyes since I came home. I prayed that I had something to do with putting that happiness there.

"Edward…" she whispered.

I wrapped my hand more firmly around her tiny one, entwining our fingers, and pulled her into my body. Cupping her face with my free hand, I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and tucked her head under my chin. I felt her lean into me, her arm wrapping around my waist, pulling me even closer to her. She had to feel the rapid beat of my heart against her cheek as she rested against my chest.

"Are you ready, love?" I asked barely louder than a whisper and felt her nod against my chest.

The ride to the restaurant was comfortable. We made small talk about nothing in general, just enjoying each other's company and the fact that we didn't always have to fill the silence. Bella sat with her hands in her lap, picking absently at her nails as she looked out the window. I had a difficult time keeping my eyes on the road as I continually turned to appreciate the beautiful woman sitting next to me. The graceful slope of her neck, her long slender legs,my hand twitched with a need to caress her collarbone and allow my fingers to peel away the silky fabric of her dress…

I cleared my throat and had to shift my position in the seat.

Bella looked at me with a slight smirk on her face.

_Did she realize how she was affecting me?_

"Um….so have you been to The Grey Moss before, Bella?" Maybe if I kept the conversation going I could keep my mind off the images flicking through my mind of Bella naked and moving under me.

She snorted and I looked over at her in confusion, which only deepened when I saw the look on her face.

She met my gaze and smiled.

"Sorry. Yeah, I've been there before. Let's just say that it was a less than pleasant experience." The look on her face had me rethinking the decision to have dinner there.

"Bella, if you didn't like the place you could have told me. We can go anywhere you want. I'm sure there's another place that we can get a table." I started racking my brain for another restaurant in the area where we could possibly get a table this late in the evening, and thinking I should just call Esme and ask for a suggestion. "I'll make a call and se-" As I reached for my phone, Bella placed a hand on my arm and cut off my rambling about finding another place to eat.

"Edward," she looked into my eyes. "I didn't mean that there's a problem with the restaurant. I actually love The Grey Moss."

"I….I, why'd you say it was a 'less than pleasant experience' then?" I questioned, confusion coloring my tone. It didn't escape me that she had left her hand wrapped around my forearm.

"Well," she paused, seeming to gather her thoughts before she continued. "Okay, Edward, the thing is…." she squeezed my arm a little tighter, turning her head to look out the window. "Tyler took me there on our last anniversary. He made a complete ass of himself. He was drunk before we got there, he was rude to the waiter from the get go. Then he proceeded to knock over the entire dessert cart, so the owners asked us to leave. It was awful. I was mortified, to say the least."

I groaned to myself. Why didn't she tell me this beforehand? I would never have taken her to dinner in a place that she had associated with that type of memory.

"Bella……why didn't you tell me this before? We could have gone anywhere." I took her hand in mine and lightly squeezed her fingers.

"Because, Edward, for one thing I really don't want to talk about Tyler. And besides that, I love that restaurant. The food is amazing and it's beautiful. And to be honest, I wanted to make a better memory than the one I have of the last time I was there." She smiled at me. I felt my body begin to relax from the imminent panic attack that had threatened only a few seconds before.

I couldn't stop the grin that spread across my face at the thought that she wanted to make a better memory with _me_. Bella squeezed my hand and returned the smile. I brought her hand to my lips, placing a kiss to her soft skin.

There was nothing but the music from the radio to fill the car for the remainder of the trip. We were comfortable just being together, and it was good to know that we could be that way with one another again. I hoped that it would be an indicator of how we were able to continue moving forward.

I released her hand as I pulled the car in front of the restaurant and climbed out. I opened Bella's door and offered my hand to assist her out of the car. She looked up at me and gave me a small, hesitant smile as she slipped her hand into mine. Giving the key to the valet and taking my ticket, we walked into the restaurant hand in hand.

BPOV

We hadn't seen each other since Sunday though we had talked several times over the phone. When I opened the door and saw him standing there it took my breath away. He was always a handsome boy, but the man that stood before me now was otherworldly.

His name had slipped from me in a whispered sigh as I took in his long, lean frame. He looked so nervous,but then he kissed my hand as he did so many times in our past and a shock ran through my body as his lips touched my skin. I couldn't refuse him as he pulled me into his arms for a brief hug. It felt so right to be there.

Yet it terrified me at the same time. Was I letting my guard down too quickly?

I knew I needed to brace those walls or I would be lost to the emotions that coursed through me every time we touched. My body ached for the contact but I had to protect my heart. I wanted to fall into him and never leave, but I needed to know that he was here for the long haul. I needed to know for sure that I could trust him again. And my own past decisions were haunting me. There was a little part of me that knew deep down it wasn't so much Edward I didn't trust as it was me and my ability to make a decision that didn't end with my heart broken.

How could I really trust my own judgment? I made some of the worst decisions in my life by trusting Tyler, choosing to ignore what I knew as the truth. How could I know that I wouldn't do that again with Edward? Did I really learn from the mistakes I made?

As the thoughts of Tyler ran through my head, Edward mentioned the restaurant where we were having dinner and I couldn't stop the disparaging snort at the memory of the last time I had been there.

I really did not want to talk to Edward about Tyler but he pressed the issue. He literally was going to cancel our reservation and try to get a table somewhere else before I stopped him. I went through telling him what a jackass Tyler was the night of our anniversary dinner. I was never as embarrassed as when the owner asked us to leave because of Tyler's drunken ass. I don't think I had ever turned that shade of red before. I was honest when I said I wanted a new memory of the restaurant and I could tell by the smile on his face he liked the fact that _we_ were making that happen tonight.

All too soon, we were arriving at the restaurant and Edward was opening my door, offering his hand to help me out of the car. I had forgotten how much of a gentleman he really could be. I looked up at his handsome face as I took his hand and got out of the car. That sexy smirk creased his face and I felt my heart flutter, shaking my head at myself for reacting in such a way. Edward never let go of my hand as we made our way into the restaurant. Walking to the hostess desk, Edward provided her with his name and our reservation time. The hostess smiled and checked her book before leading us to the outdoor dining area.

The restaurant was more beautiful than I remembered. The twinkle lights that adorned every available surface were the only lighting, save for candles on the table which set a mood that was more romantic than I remembered.

I hoped that this night would be about working on getting to know one another again. It wasn't as if we weren't familiar with one another, but I felt like we didn't truly _know_ one another anymore. I was still struggling with the idea that he left when he professed how much he cared for me. If he cared so much, how could he leave? Or, more importantly, would he make that decision again if the opportunity presented itself? And that thought had my mind reeling with the possibilities. If I really let him back into my life, I don't know how my heart would survive if he left again.

I was snapped out of my rambling self-doubt by Edward's voice.

"Bella, are you alright?" I heard him ask and looked up from the table to see the concerned look upon his face.

"Hm," I hummed in response as my thoughts cleared and I realized that he had been talking to me. "I'm sorry, Edward. I was just….." I trailed off because I couldn't think of a good explanation as to where my thoughts had run off to.

He smiled at me but I could see there was doubt playing behind his eyes and creasing his brow. Although he had relaxed considerably in the car, it seemed he was still nervous. It was kind of cute that he could still be that unnerved by going to dinner with me. Maybe I really had more of an effect on him than I was aware of. A smile pulled at the corner of my lips with that thought.

"What are you smiling about?" he quirked an eyebrow, his smile grew wider on his handsome face.

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking." I dropped my gaze to my menu and changed the subject quickly, still smiling to myself with the thoughts of the possibilities of how much I really did affect him.  
Our dinner was amazing and the conversation flowed easily between us. It was nice to talk with one another again about nothing in particular and everything at the same time.

Edward and I didn't see eye to eye on every issue, but it was great to have the ability to discuss a topic and voice my opinion without the thought of being told how wrong I was for my belief. Before I knew it we had sailed through our dinner and I didn't even notice the time passing. Our waiter came by with the dessert menu, leaving us to retrieve the coffee we both ordered.

"What would you like for dessert, Bella?" Edward asked as the waiter stepped away from the table.

"Oh god, I don't know, it's all amazing." I perused the decadent list of desserts and could not make up my mind about what I wanted.

"Well, why don't we both order something and we can share. How's that sound?" He winked at me, trying to control his smirk.

I smiled at him, "I think that sounds awesome."

Our waiter, Andrew, came back to the table with our coffee. "Ya'll decided on your dessert for this evening?" he questioned, smiling at us both.

"Yes, I think I'm going to have the cheesecake, thank you." I smiled back, handing him my menu.

"And I'll have the pecan pie, thank you," Edward spoke but never looked away from my face as a smile spread across his face.

"Both of those are excellent choices. You'll enjoy them. I'll have that out for you shortly," Andrew assured and left us alone once again.

Edward slid his hand across the table, taking my hand in his own and rubbing his thumb across my knuckles.

"I've had a really nice time tonight, Bella."

I could feel the heat of my blush washing over my face and I smiled at him.

"I've had a nice time, too, Edward. Thank you for dinner."

"Well, thank you for coming out with me."

We sat like that for a long moment, just looking into each other's eyes, not saying anything.  
I never wanted to leave this place.

A loud crash in the background snapped us both back to reality and we laughed a bit at the amount of time we sat there just staring at one another.

"I need to go to the restroom, I'll be right back," I excused myself from the table. As I began to push my chair away from the table, Edward stood and pulled my chair out for me. I smiled up at him, shocked again that I had forgotten how gentlemanly Edward really was.

"What?" he questioned with a crooked grin on his face.

Shaking my head, I thanked him and made my way back inside the restaurant.

The Grey Moss was one of my favorite restaurants. The casual setting was perfect for a romantic dinner without feeling overdone. There was a huge rock fireplace in one corner of the dining room which went from floor to ceiling. During the winter it was nice to sit by the fireplace, enjoy a glass of wine, and just talk.

I walked into the restroom smiling to myself as I thought about the night so far. The evening had been perfect. At least I felt like it was and I thought Edward did as well. It was evident our comfort level was still there under the surface and we could slip into some of that again. I liked that I _knew_ Edward, yet we were still unfamiliar to one another in many ways and were able to relearn things as well as discover the new.

I stepped out of the stall and walked over to wash my hands and check my makeup. I really wasn't one to wear a lot of makeup, but over the years I had learned to use a few things to accentuate my features. I rearranged a few curls on the top of my head and reapplied my lipstick. Dropping it back in my purse, I checked my appearance one last time, straightening my dress before walking out the door.

I felt large, muscular arms wrap around me as I crashed into someone just outside the bathroom door.

"Oh! I'm so sorry. I didn't s-" my breath caught and I couldn't speak as I looked up into the face of my ex-husband.

"Hello, Bella." Tyler smiled and tightened his arms around me.

"Let go of me, Tyler," I spoke through gritted teeth. "What are you-"

He cut me off before I could finish my sentence.

"Now, honey, is that any way to greet your husband?" he leered at me.

He was drunk. I could smell the alcohol on his breath. Tyler always liked to have a few drinks, but in the months before our marriage ended it became more and more of an issue. I was told that his drinking only increased after we split.

I felt his hands slip down my back, inching lower.

"Get your hands off me, Tyler! You know damn good and well that you are _not _my husband." I pushed myself away from him but stumbled into the wall behind me.

Tyler stepped into me, placing his hands on either side of my head and cutting off any way I had of escaping at that moment. He ran the tips of his fingers down the side of my face, leaning even closer to me. I could smell the whiskey on his breath.

"You're drunk, Tyler. Why don't you call a cab and go home?" I cringed remembering that I once thought I loved this man. My stomach turned at the fact that I once desired his touch. It made my skin crawl now to have his fingers stroking my hair and touching my face.

"Don't fucking touch me, Tyler!" I slapped his hand away, trying to move under the one arm he used to prop himself against the wall while the other ran over my shoulder and down my arm.

It took everything in me to keep my voice quiet; I really didn't want a repeat performance of the last time we were here. I glared at him, doing my best to calm my pounding heart and slow my breathing. Besides the anger that was coursing through my body, I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the way Tyler was touching me. It was as though he felt he still had some claim on me. As I tried to duck under his arm, he grabbed me around the waist, pulling me flush with his body.

"Aw now, come on Bella, don't act like that," he whispered in my ear. "What's the problem, baby? You hooked back up with the Vet and now you don't want to play anymore?" he slurred as he cupped my ass.

I pushed as hard as I could against his chest and was able to extract myself from his arms. I braced myself and brought my hand back, his head jerked to the side as my hand made contact with his face.

It was as if everything was in slow motion for a moment. Tyler reached up to rub where my hand was clearly imprinted across his face.

"Don't you ever put your hands on me again, do you understand me? You have no right to touch me, ever! You disgust me,Tyler Crowley, and how I ever thought you were a good man is beyond me."

I turned on my heel and almost ran back through the dining room. I couldn't go back to the table like this; I needed to calm down. I could feel my body almost vibrating and the tears of anger burned behind my eyes. I knew that there was no way I could explain to Edward what had just happened. There may be things we didn't know about each other now, but one thing I was sure about was that Edward's reaction to this situation would not be a good one.

I took a deep breath as I finally stepped through the doors onto the patio, trying to calm myself and my racing heart. I looked over to our table and met Edward's emerald green eyes. The look on his face told me immediately that he knew something was wrong. His eyes never left mine as I walked toward him, and he stood just as I got to our table. Edward pulled out my chair and I sat down trying to slow my breathing.

"Bella, are you okay? What happened?" his voice was full of concern and confusion about what could have me so spooked from just going to the bathroom, as he took his seat again.

"Uh…I…nothing, Edward." I stammered trying to cover the tremors in my body. I'm sure I was several shades of green as the nausea threatened to overtake me. "I'm fine. I just don't feel well all of a sudden, my stomach's a little bit queasy." And that was not a lie, I felt sick to my stomach knowing that Tyler was just inside those doors; most likely with Tanya and that we would have to walk right through the dining area to leave.

How the hell was I going to get out of here without Tyler and Edward running into one another?

I felt sure that if Tyler was as drunk as I thought, he would never let us leave without a confrontation. I couldn't even wrap my head around how awful that scene would play out. I could see scenes of Tyler and Edward beating the shit out of one another and both winding up arrested for fighting. That's not exactly how I envisioned our night going earlier today. All I wanted was a nice quiet dinner, a time for the two of us to reconnect.

_Dammit!_

Why could nothing seem to go right for me?

I took a long sip of the wine left in my glass from dinner and tried slightly more successfully to stamp down the bile rising in my throat at the memory of Tyler's hands on my body. A shiver ran through me, which did not escape Edward's attention.

"Bella, what the hell happened? You're shaking like a leaf and you were white as a sheet when you walked out that door." I could hear the growing concern in his voice, and a little agitation because I was sure he realized I was hiding something from him.

How was I going to get out of here without letting him know what happened?

"Edward….it's nothing, okay?" I reached across the table to take his hands in mine. "I don't want to talk about it right now. Can we just finish our dessert and go home? Please?"

Edward stared back at me for a long moment, searching my face and trying to decipher what occurred that had shaken me to my very core. He finally nodded, deciding to let the issue drop for now. I knew I wouldn't get out of telling him forever, but hopefully I could stall long enough to get us out of the close proximity to Tyler.

"Thank you…" I whispered, still feeling the tears burning in my eyes. I was so angry and, if I was truthful wit myself, a bit frightened. I wasn't really sure how far Tyler was willing to take that little scene and I didn't want to find out.

We were able to go back to dessert, which was brought to the table while I was in the restroom. Though there was tension in the air for a bit afterwards, eventually I started to relax and I noticed the set of Edward's shoulders become less tight as well. The conversation flowed well between us and I laughed as Edward told some of the crazy stories of things he did in college. We talked about my time on the circuit my senior year of high school and in college. He knew about my championship and that I graduated early with honors. I guess it came up in conversation at some point with Esme around the time of Alice's graduation the next year. It still surprised me that he was gone for so long and how many things in our everyday lives changed over that time. We finished our dessert much too soon. Andrew was at our table shortly after we took our last bite asking if there was anything else he could get us.

"No, thank you. If you'll just take care of the bill with this I think we're good," Edward replied as he removed his credit card from his wallet and handed it to Andrew.

Edward signed the receipt and we were on our way out of the restaurant before I had the time to remember Tyler was possibly still inside.

I felt my stomach twist at the thought of encountering him again. I wasn't sure what would happen if he confronted me again or what Edward would do if he figured out why I was so upset when I returned from the restroom.

Edward placed his hand at the small of my back, leading me through the crowded dining room. I felt my body begin to relax as I didn't see Tanya or Tyler when I scanned the tables. I hoped that meant they had already left.

It was then that I heard her voice. It was a voice like nails on a chalk board. The high nasally pitch made my skin crawl, even when we were kids.

"OH. MY. GOD!" the voice said. I flinched as I realized that Tanya was sitting just to my left. "Edward Cullen, I can not believe the prodigal son has returned."

Edward stopped in mid-stride, realizing that if Tanya was here, it was a pretty safe bet that Tyler was here,as well. He looked down at me as it dawned on him what must have occurred earlier and his eyes narrowed.

"Hello, Tanya," he greeted, continuing to look into my eyes.

I pleaded with him silently to let me explain later and not to go off the deep end here.

"So I assume you came back into town for Alice's wedding?" Tanya continued as though I wasn't even in the room, refusing to acknowledge my presence at all.

In all honesty, I was relieved that she didn't try some falsetto concern about my well being or act as though I existed at all. It was easier for me to ignore her presence that way.

"Yes Tanya, I came home before the wedding." Edward finally broke his gaze with me and looked over to where they sat with their meal.

Tyler had yet to speak, but as I looked up I saw the sneer on his face as he took in the protective way Edward stood over me. Edward moved his hand to my hip, pulling me closer into his side when he heard Tanya's voice. I wasn't sure if it was an intentional act or instinctive that he felt a need to protect me from these two.

"Well, I can see that Georgia has been good to you all these years," Tanya purred in what I suppose was to be a sexy voice. I swallowed hard, trying to not choke on the acid in the back of my throat, and I felt my body tense at her obviousness. She really was a bitch.

"Thank you, Tanya." Edward replied without returning the compliment, which did not escape my notice and I dipped my head to cover my smile at the look on her face. It was then that I felt Edward's body go completely rigid. I looked up to see his jaw clenching and releasing and felt his hand ball at my side.

Following his gaze, I saw that the mark from my hand was still clearly visible on Tyler's face. True realization that there was some type of altercation between Tyler and I came over Edward's entire being as his eyes darkened to almost black. I looked back into Edward's eyes as he said my name.

"Bella?" He looked at me for only a moment, but it must have been evident on my face because he was immediately coiled to spring.

"You son of a bitch, what did you do?" Edward ground out through his teeth as he took a step toward Tyler, who was so far gone he didn't even move.

"Edward, please…." I begged as I stepped in front of him, placing my hand on his chest to gain his attention.

He wrapped his large hand around mine to pull me out of his path, but when he looked into my eyes he stopped.

"Bella, what did he do?" he questioned in almost a whisper.

"Edward, please, I'll tell you, but please just take me home first, okay?" I pleaded, praying that he would not follow through with his intention to beat the shit out of Tyler.

Edward looked at me for only a few seconds before he nodded. Wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me into his side again, he turned us both and headed toward the door without another word to either Tanya or Tyler.

I heard Tanya's indignant huff just as we were stepping out of the dining room.

"Bye Bella, we'll be seeing you in Vegas," Tanya called and my body stiffened.

The thought that she and Tyler would be at the event next month had completely slipped my mind and I looked up to see Edward's gaze boring down on me. It seemed it had escaped him as well, and he was realizing he wouldn't be there with me.

I didn't acknowledge her taunt, continuing out the door wrapped in Edward's embrace. I slipped my arm around his waist as we made our way to the valet and he handed the attendant his ticket.

I could feel the anger rolling off Edward in waves. It was all I could do to stop him from decking Tyler; I understood his desire but it wouldn't have gotten either of us anywhere. It really wouldn't have made any difference and probably would have resulted in Edward getting arrested. Which is exactly the reason I did not want to tell him when I returned to the table, I knew if he was aware of what happened he would've gone looking for Tyler right that moment.

What a great night this turned out to be. Somehow it always seemed that Tanya showed up at the worst possible time just to make my life miserable. It just wasn't in the cards to have one evening for Edward and I to actually have conversation where we could get back to _us_.

All I wanted tonight was to have a nice dinner and get to know Edward again. Our conversation during dinner was great and it would be hard to deny the fact that the attraction was still there. There was a comfort level that seemed to reemerge after we talked on Sunday and it had continued through tonight. That was until we passed right by Tanya and Tyler.

Edward was muttering under his breath and I could feel how tense his body was as we waited for the car. His arm was wrapped around my shoulders and he absently rubbed a hand up and down my arm.

"Edward, are you okay?" I questioned. He looked at me with a confused look on his face but didn't respond. The attendant pulled up at that moment with the car and Edward took the keys from him without ever looking away from me.

He thanked the valet absently, continuing to look at me as though he were trying to solve some impossible crossword clue.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as he opened my door.

I saw his jaw clinch and felt his hand wrap around my arm as he turned me to face him, immediately wrapping his arms around me, pulling me into a tight embrace. I buried my head in his chest as a tiny sob caught in my throat.

"Bella," my name fell from his lips as I felt him press a kiss to my hair. "Don't do that. Don't you dare apologize for that son of bitch."

He pulled back to look me in the eye.

"Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head and buried my head in his chest once again, feeling his arms tighten around me once again. I felt completely enveloped by his body and I never wanted to leave.

I felt the rumble in his chest as I'm sure thoughts of what might have happened between Tyler and I raced through his head.

"I swear to God Bella, if he…" his voice trailed off as his body stiffened at the idea that Tyler had hurt me.

"No, Edward, he didn't….he just," I stopped myself from explaining any further the events of my interaction with Tyler.

I wanted nothing more than to get out of there before Tyler and Tanya came out of the restaurant and the situation escalated.

"Edward, please can we talk about this at home? I just want to go home. I'll tell you, but can we just wait."

I turned my head to rest my cheek against his chest, my arms folded between us as I leaned into his embrace. I felt his chest rise and fall with the deep breath he took, his heart beating wildly. I knew he wanted to walk back inside that restaurant and beat the hell out of Tyler. But I realized that his concern at that moment was making sure I was okay, that I had not been hurt physically, and that his desire to take care of Tyler was overshadowed by his need to protect me.

He pulled back a little and I looked up into his beautiful green eyes that still blazed with anger, but there was another emotion there as well. I recognized that look and smiled up at him. Edward pressed his lips to my forehead and I couldn't stop my eyes from closing at the sensation from his soft skin against my own.

"Come on, darlin', let's go home," he whispered as he placed a kiss to that sensitive spot just behind my ear and released me from his embrace. I turned toward the car and he placed a hand at the small of my back and led me forward. I slid into the seat and looked up at him with a smile; he winked at me as he closed the door.

We were both silent on the way back to my house. Edward took my hand as soon as he had the car on the highway and had not let go. He rubbed slow circles on the palm of my hand with his thumb, humming along with the radio. I could still see the tension in his body, he was shifting in his seat nervously and casting side long glances in my direction. I sat looking out the window, my shoulders tight as I thought about the way our evening had begun and how it ended. A heavy sigh left my body as the weight of it all came down on me, and I caught Edward's quick glance in my direction.

He opened his mouth to say something but stopped himself as I noticed we were pulling into my drive.

Edward dropped my hand so he could cut the car's engine but made no move to get out of the car.

We sat there for a long moment in silence, not even looking at one another. I felt his hand wrap around mine again as he brought it to his mouth and pressed his lips to my palm before releasing it and stepping out of the car.

He opened the car door for me and we walked to the door. Stepping inside, Edward walked over and sat down on the sofa as I made my way toward my bedroom.

"Edward, do you mind if I change? I'll only be a minute. "

"Of course not, love. Take your time." He looked over his shoulder at me with a smile and winked.

I flushed, smiling back at him before making my way down the hall to my bedroom.

Walking back into the living room, I stopped short. Edward was sitting with his head in his hands, his fingers twisted in his wild hair. I crossed over to the couch, sitting down next to him and placing a hand on his back. His head snapped up to look at me.

I knew there was no backing out of giving him a full run down of how Tyler had accosted me in the hallway outside the restroom. And I knew I needed to tell him everything, I just didn't want to relive the way it made me feel. The thought that I was once married to that man made my stomach churn. I took a deep breath and started recounting all the sordid details.

When I was finished, I looked at Edward, who had sat silently listening to every single thing that happened. His only movement was to hold my hand and trace the lines on the back of it as I talked.

"Bella, why didn't you tell me what happened when you came back to the table?"

I looked deep into his eyes, trying to read his expression. All I found there was concern. He wasn't angry with me for not telling him and asking him to wait until we were home before I gave him the details.

I sighed, dropping my eyes to my lap. I could feel the tears of frustration burning behind my lids as I closed them to hold them back.

"Edward," I whispered, "there are so many things that we don't know about each other anymore. There's a lot that we have to relearn, but...... What would you have done if I told you what happened tonight as soon as I got back to the table?"

I looked up into his eyes and watched the dawning of his own realization of my reasoning for not telling him immediately.

He snorted, "Yeah, I guess I can see your reasoning behind that. You know, though…. Bella, you handled that really well. I wish I had been the one to get to knock the hell out of the bastard, but I'm proud of you for not letting him get away with that shit." Edward smiled at me. "I know you can take care of yourself, Bella. You don't need me to protect you all the time, but…..I want to. "

"I just wanted to get out of there without running into him again. I thought we were home free until I heard Tanya's voice. You know she has a voice like nails on a chalkboard. Have you ever noticed that?" I laughed.

Edward chuckled, "Yeah I've noticed that. Tanya is a vapid bitch, Bella. She always has been."

He looked at me with a serious expression on his face, reaching up to cup my face between his hands.

"Bella, you never have to worry about me looking twice at Tanya or any other woman, okay? My heart only belongs to you," he whispered as he leaned in closer to me.

I nodded my head, stunned silent at his acknowledgement of one of my darkest fears. Though our marriage was a sham, Tyler's betrayal still did a number on my self esteem.

A sigh escaped me as Edward's lips lightly brushed across my own. Again and again he brought his lips to mine gently. I wrapped my arms around his neck, twining my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, feeling the silkiness between my fingers. He kissed me once more chastely, then pressed his forehead to mine. His eyes closed, he released a contented sigh and I watched that crooked grin spread across his face.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered.

My heart clenched. I wanted to say those three little words back to him, but…. I couldn't. Not now.

Hearing him say the words, along with his actions tonight, I could see how much he was trying to prove his love. In the deep recess of my heart, I knew it to be true; however, I was terrified of not knowing if that was enough to stop him from leaving again, when it wasn't before.

* * *

**So there it is their first date. Tyler and Tanya are back...dun dun dun. We all knew Tyler was an ass, he really showed it here, huh? **

**So again thank you all for the fav's, alerts and the reviews. Teaser for ch 15 to those who review. I'm also now submitting a teaser to Teaser Monday on the Fictionators. The link is in my profile. **

**I also want to send out a thank you to all of you who voted for my o/s in the Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy contest, One Last Ride. For those who aren't following me on twitter or haven't visited the thread for MMB, my story was awarded 2nd place. It was a tie for second and I couldn't be more happy. There aren't words for how excited and honored I am. Thank you to all who have fav'd or alerted that o/s as well. If you reviewed the o/s you know that OLR will be my next fic. It won't begin until after MMB completes but I will be continuing that story. **

**MMB has been nominated for Best Angst in the Silent Tears Awards. **http://silent(-)tear(-)awards(dot)webs(dot)com/ **Nominations are on going through October 31st. Thank you so much to CullenLuva88 for the nom!!  
**

**So hit that little green button and leave me some lovin'.  
**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, no copyright infringement intended. I'm just playing with them.**

**Thanks of course to my beta, Jessica1971 (look I spelled it right this time, LOL). She is my twin and helps me more than I can tell any of you. She makes this craziness bearable to read, still trying to figure out how to get her a gold medal for beta skills. **

**To my sister in law, there aren't words to thank you properly.**

**Mood Music for this chapter: Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson, Fall Into Me by Sugarland, Don't Shut Me Out by Keith Urban, Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman by Daughtry. **

**There's an important note at the bottom please read. **

**

* * *

  
**

Chapter 15 Fall into me…

**BPOV**

I was running late getting to the barn the morning after our first date. I overslept and ran out of the house with coffee mug in hand, stopping dead in my tracks as I caught a glimpse of something lying on the hood of my car.

Stepping over to the car cautiously, I could see it was a single yellow tulip, no note, nothing but the flower. Picking it up, I brought it to my nose, looking around to see if I could catch sight of anyone in the area. There was no one around but me and the chirping birds in the tree. I climbed in my car, placing the flower in the passenger seat and smiling to myself at the thought of who left that for me to find.

It was the same thing every morning for the next several days. Every morning I would head to my car and there would be a different flower, always just a single stem lying on my car. So far I was given a red tulip, a white Calla Lily, a white primrose, and a pink rose.

Renee held a degree in horticulture and she made a point of instilling a love of plants and flowers in Emmett and me. Renee was known for her flower garden and was a founding member of the garden club. She had done many lectures over the years on the joys of gardening and the therapeutic benefits of planting and watching something grow from nothing.

So because of Renee, I knew the meaning behind the flowers he was leaving. I realized Edward must have remembered this and he was telling me without words how much he cared. He knew his words were not what I needed but his actions were what I craved to make me believe he wasn't going to leave again.

I asked Edward about the gifts and he only smiled before kissing me gently. I felt the crack in my heart beginning to seal little by little as he again used actions and not his words to love me.

Almost a week after the first flower was left, I stepped out of my house to find Edward leaning against the hood of my car holding a small bouquet of Lilly of the Valley.

_You make my life complete._

One of the many meanings for this flower ran through my head and I smiled.

I closed the distance between us as he pushed off the car, meeting me half way. Taking the flowers from him, I wrapped my arms around his waist and murmured a thank you into his chest. Languishing in the feeling of his arms wrapped around me, I took in a deep breath, overwhelmed with the feelings rushing through my body.

It was the next morning he began bringing coffee and a different treat from my favorite bakery along with the flower of the day. We would hang out, talking over the breakfast he brought, asking questions about our individual lives over the years, slowly reacquainting ourselves with one another.

I made plans to have lunch with Alice, Rose, Esme, and my mom at the club on Thursday to finalize everything for Edward's birthday party that was coming up this weekend. His birthday was the next week, only a couple of days before he's leaving for Georgia, so we were planning to throw him a surprise party. It was important to Carlisle and Esme to make this birthday special; the two of them were beside themselves that Edward was moving back to Texas. Since this was essentially the first birthday in a very long time he was actually home, they wanted to make it special.

I awoke to the sound of the doorbell ringing through the house.

"Holy hell," I grumbled as I threw the covers off my body. "Who in god's name is waking me up on the one morning I was planning on sleeping in?"

I opened the door and the sight that greeted me took my breath away. Edward smiled, stepping forward and placing a kiss on my cheek.

"Good morning, love," he whispered in my ear, squeezing my hip with the hand he rested there.

I smiled up at him and took the extra large cup of coffee he offered.

"You know, you don't have to do this every morning," I teased as I took a sip of the steaming liquid. "Mmm, but I'm glad that you do."

"It's my pleasure, mi lady," he bowed dramatically, speaking with his best British accent.

I giggled at his silliness and closed the door, following him into the kitchen. As I entered the room he was taking a cheese Danish out of the bag and placing it on a plate before handing it to me.

He smiled at me as I leaned a hip on the counter and took a bite of the gooey goodness.

"So what time are you meeting the girls?" he asked as he removed his own pastry from the bag.

"Eleven thirty," I mumbled with my mouth full, humming as the delicious pastry melted in my mouth.

He chuckled, plating his pastry.

"I take it that's good," he questioned, taking a sip from his coffee before looking at me.

"Mhmm, it's very good, thank you," I giggled, licking the icing from my bottom lip.

I looked over at him and the smile on my face slowly slipped away as I took in his expression. His eyes darkened, his lips parted, and I swear he moaned as he stared at my mouth.

My breathing hitched from the intensity of his gaze, my heart slamming against my chest and the pounding in my ears the only thing I could hear. He took a step closer to me, placing his hands on my hips and pulling me to him.

I placed my hands on his strong arms and wrapped my fingers around his biceps. He dipped his head bringing his face only millimeters from my own, whispering "beautiful" against my lips just before pressing his to mine.

I sighed as I felt his warm tongue brush along my lower lip, opening to him as his hand ran up my back. He cupped the fingers of one hand around the back of my neck, the other he fisted in my hair and gently pulled to tilt my head and deepen the kiss.

He moaned my name as I sucked his top lip into my mouth, grazing it with my teeth. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled his mouth closer into mine.

I felt his hand slide down my back, ghosting over my ribs, grazing the side of my breast. I gasped at the contact as the fire in my body ignited, blazing out of control.

He moved his lips down my jaw, nipping at the skin as he made his way to my neck. I moaned and my knees buckled as he sucked on the skin just behind my ear.

"Edward…" I sighed as my body was screaming for more, but we needed to slow this down. "We need to stop…" my voice barely more than a whispered moan as his lips grazed my collarbone.

"Bella," he groaned and rested his forehead on my shoulder, "I know, I just can't help myself. You just…I don't have the words."

Taking a step back, I looked into his eyes. I had to calm down or I would jump him right here and now.

_This_ was the polar opposite of taking things slow and, as much as my body was protesting, I had to step away. I couldn't let my physical need for Edward cloud my mind.

Things were better, we were trying to mend the broken parts but they were far from fixed.

The physical contact between us had slowly been escalating. It seemed that our bodies were touching in some way when we were anywhere near one another. He would reach out and touch my hand or place his hand on the small of my back to lead me through a door. They were all very small things, but they made my body crave him and ache for his touch all the same. But we, or more accurately _I_, needed to make sure he was really here and was going to _stay here_ before we took that step.

We talked about the investigation into Lacy's poisoning, my mind flashing back to the day Edward received the lab results. He wasted no time calling me and came straight to the ranch. Emmett rounded up Charlie so we could hear the report at the same time. Edward explained that the substance found in the supplement was a slow acting poison and that was why Lacy had gone downhill so gradually. The poison acted in such a way that it wasn't obvious until the end as she slowly slipped into liver failure.

Charlie placed a call to his friend at the SPCA and, to his surprise, the Texas A&M lab already contacted him to report the livestock poisoning. A file was started immediately. The investigator made it clear that he would be speaking with James as soon as possible and would be contacting us when he had more information to report. There was no way that substance was in the supplement accidentally. Now even though we knew what the poison was and that it came from the supplement, nothing could be done to further the case until the investigator met with James.

It had been days since all of that happened.

"This hurry up and wait stuff is driving me insane. I can't concentrate. I need to be preparing for Las Vegas and I can't seem to keep my mind on task because I keep running over possibilities to explain what happened," I said with exasperation.

He took my hand in his and nodded.

"I know, sweetheart, I wish there were something more that I could do. I feel kind of useless," he said with a grimace of frustration on his face.

"Edward, you remember that thing about you trying to fix things you have no control over?" I dipped my head to catch his eye and continued when he was looking at me again. "This would be one of those times. There is nothing besides what you have already done that can be done right now. I'm frustrated as hell, but what choice do we have really?"

"You're right," he smiled at me, leaning in and kissing me quickly before pulling back, he winked and I giggled.

The conversation remained light after that as we finished our breakfast. Edward hung around, lying across my bed and tossing a crystal paperweight up in the air and catching it as I got ready to meet with who he thought was only Alice and Rosalie.

He had no idea that I was also meeting with Esme and my mom along with Alice and Rosalie to plan his birthday party.

I smiled to myself as I thought about how surprised he would be when we showed up at his parent's house and there was a party being held in his honor.

My breath caught and I choked on the lump in my throat, blinking back the tears as I thought of him leaving a few days after his birthday. What if he changed his mind and decided to stay in Georgia?

I gripped the counter, taking deep breaths to calm my racing heart.

I couldn't seem to kick the feeling of panic anytime the thoughts of him leaving ran through my mind.

Edward's actions were more than clear this past week as to what his feelings for me were; there was little room for doubting that any longer. The problem remained that my heart couldn't forget about his claims of how much he loved me just as intensely when he left before. I had no guarantee that he wouldn't do that again.

I walked out of the bathroom and Edward sat up on my bed. I know I heard him moan this time as his eyes raked over my body from head to toe.

"Do I have something on me?" I looked down, feeling self conscious suddenly, running my hands over my blouse and trying to make sure I hadn't dropped something on myself.

He stood from the bed and walked slowly over to where I stood just outside the bathroom door.

"No, love, you're stunning and you're taking my breath away," he whispered as he wrapped his arms loosely around my waist, linking his fingers behind my back. He kissed me softly.

I sighed at the gentleness of his kiss, placing my hands on his chest where I could feel the rapid beat of his heart.

Edward walked me to my car, opening my door and kissing my cheek before I slipped in the seat.

"You'll call me when you're done?" He leaned down into the window, propping an arm on the top of the door with a cocky grin on his handsome face.

I smiled back at him before answering.

"Yep, I'll give you a call as soon as I'm in the car."

He reached into the car to caress my check before tapping the top and stepping away so I could back out of the drive.

~*~

I entered the dining area of the club house and scanned the tables. Just as I turned to ask the hostess if they were seated already, I caught sight of Rose at an out of the way table at the back of the room near a wall of windows. She smiled and waved me over.

"Hey baby girl." Rose stood and kissed my cheek as we briefly hugged. "I feel like I haven't seen you at all recently."

"I know, I'm sorry, I've been so wrapped up in preparing for Las Vegas that I haven't really been anywhere but home or the barn." I explained, feeling guilty for not trying to spend more time with her. I missed my nephew too, things just seemed to be so complicated and busy right now. With the event coming up and the meetings we had with the SPCA over that last several days, there just weren't enough hours in the day.

"Or with Edward," Rose teased.

I looked up at her to see her smiling at me and I had to laugh as well.

"Yeah," I smirked at her as I thought of the kiss that Edward and I shared earlier.

"How are things going between you two, Bella?" Rose had a knowing smile on her face and I returned her smile.

"Good, I think…." I answered honestly my voice trailing off.

Things were good, but I was having some apprehension about the few weeks when Edward returned to Georgia. Even though I _knew_ he was coming back, I couldn't help the ache in my chest at the mention of it.

Rose picked up on my mood shift and reached over, tapping me on the arm with a finger to gain my attention as I stared a hole in the table, my breathing quick and shallow.

"Bella," I looked up to meet her crystal blue eyes that were full of concern. "He's coming home. You know that, don't do this to yourself," she said with conviction, willing me to believe it.

"I know, Rose," I whispered, unable to find my full volume. "Really, I do, but…..what if he decides this isn't what he wants to do? What if I've let him back in and he just walks again?"

The tears sprang to my eyes as I admitted my most basic fear.

I wanted so much to believe that he would come back to me. Though Edward was doing everything he could to prove his desire to be here, to be with me, the doubt lingered that he would stay in Georgia and had me locked in fear. Regardless of _knowing_ that he was only going to be gone for a few weeks, part of which I would be in Las Vegas, until he returned to me, I just couldn't believe it. My heart wouldn't accept it until he actually returned.

"He's not going to do that, Bella. Edward may have been a complete dumbass in the past, but he knows what he did. He can't stay away from you and its obvious how much he cares for you every time he's anywhere near you." Rose winked at me.

I smiled as I thought about Edward and our morning together. This morning was a perfect example of how Edward allowed me to set how the pace of things moving forward. Though I needed to slow down, I knew he wanted to go further but he stopped when it was too much for me.

"Where's everyone else?" I asked, wondering why the others had not arrived yet. Alice was never late for anything, ever. She was actually annoyingly on time and made it a point to always remind me of how I couldn't get to an appointment on time if my life depended on it.

"They'll be here soon. I actually needed to talk to you about something. I know you've been so busy lately preparing for Vegas, I thought maybe…" she paused, looking down at the table in front of her.

If I didn't know better I would think she was…..nervous? Why would Rose be nervous?

Rosalie did not get nervous. I began to get a bit uncomfortable with the change in the atmosphere around us.

"I don't know how to…." she started. "Em and I have been going back and forth for a while now trying to figure out the best course," she tried again but stopped looking at me, a look on her face I couldn't read.

"God, Rose, what the hell?" I was becoming increasingly uneasy about whatever it was that she needed to say. "What are you trying to say to me? Oh my god, please tell me you two are not splitting up?" I gasped as the realization hit me that it was a possibility. I didn't see how, but stranger things have happened. "Oh, Rose. I don't know what to say. Are you guys splitting up?" I grabbed her hand and pulled it to me, holding it with both hands.

"God! No, Bella, Emmett and I are not splitting up," Rose said and took a deep breath.

"Well then would you please tell me what the hell is going on with you? I've never seen you look so nervous about something, and why do you look like you're going to throw up?"

She opened her mouth to speak just as Alice bounced up to our table and wrapped her arms around my neck. I laughed as she almost knocked me out of my chair before I caught myself, wrapping my arms around her waist and hugging her tightly.

I shot a look at Rose who still sat in her chair looking a bit dazed.

What could she need to tell me that would upset her like that?

I didn't have any more time to dwell on it as Alice's tinkling laugh interrupted further thought or discussion outside of what was on the agenda for the day.

"God, Bella, I feel like I haven't seen you in a month. I know it's only been like two weeks but still, ya know?" Alice was her usual boisterous self.

It was easy to forget how much energy she really exuded when you were away from her for a period of time.

I stood to hug my mom and Esme.

Esme and my mom took their seats around the table. We fell into an easy conversation about the plans for the party. Alice had handled so many of the details while still on her honeymoon. The woman was a machine, literally. She had us all on Skype talking things over while she and Jasper lounged around the pool. All I can say is it made me realize just how good a man Jasper really is. I mean honestly, how many men would indulge their new bride in carrying on conversations to plan a party while on their honeymoon? Not many, I felt pretty safe in making that bet.

We ordered our meals and Alice ran through a play by play of her honeymoon in the Caribbean. As our salads were delivered to the table, Esme spoke and a horrified look washed over Rosalie's face as she met my eyes.

"Oh, Rosalie, child! Congratulations! Renee was just telling me your wonderful news. I'm so happy for you and Emmett," she stood and hugged Rosalie.

My heart slammed in my chest as a cold realization dawned on me as to what Rosalie was trying to talk to me about before. I felt my body go limp as I sank into my chair.

_Rose is pregnant._

Rose looked at me with a wide eyed stare, mouth slightly agape.

I looked at Renee and saw the tears in her eyes.

I forced a smile on my face and looked into Rosalie's eyes. Seeing the concern there, knowing that I was causing her to feel anxious when this should be nothing but a joyous occasion for her and Emmett. I knew how hard this must have been for her to tell me and that only made my guilt worsen.

"I'm so happy for you, Rose." I felt the lump in my throat and swallowed, trying to push it back down, I stood to wrap my arms around her in a hug.

The void I felt every time I thought of my baby and the babies I would never carry burned like an open wound that seemed to never heal. They wanted to have several children and had feared they wouldn't be able to after the problems Rose had getting pregnant with Garrett.

"Oh, Bella, I know you are," Rose held me tight, not allowing me to pull away when I tried. "I know how hard this is for you and I want you to know how much we love you. I wanted to be the one to tell you, but not like this. I wanted to share this with you, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before now," she whispered in my ear.

When she finally let me pull away from her, there were tears brimming in both our eyes and she smiled at me sadly.

I couldn't let her or Emmett know how much their happiness twisted in my gut. I truly was happy for them; it just made my ache more pronounced.

"Did you have to do the same procedures you did with Garrett?" Alice asked in her chipper voice, but she shot me a look that told me she knew what was going through my mind.

I sat back in my chair and tried to breathe through the panic I could feel creeping up on me, my shoulders tightening and my stomach churning, the bile at the back of my throat threatening to choke me.

"No, I didn't have to do any of the treatments or the in-vitro this time. It seems that my body was ready and we got lucky. We've only been trying a few months." The smile on her face made her glow.

I was filled with guilt for feeling jealous.

The conversation swirled around me as I tried to regain my focus and put up the front that was my go to over the last year. I prayed I was able to hold it together in front of them until lunch was over. I didn't want any of them, especially Rose, to know how much my heart was breaking. I had to keep myself together until I could make it back home. Rose should only be happy right now, she deserved it and I did not want anything that I did to take the attention away from her and the baby. That's where it needed to be and I would do my best to make sure it stayed there.

My stomach felt queasy. I knew I was tumbling back into the black hole I had worked so hard to dig myself out of. I had tried so hard to deal with the grief and loss of my baby, the loss of all the babies that I could have ever borne.

Finishing our lunch, Renee and Esme argued over who would pick up the tab. Esme finally won out with a sneaky slip of her card to the waitress as my mom glared at her when she realized what happened.

We said our goodbyes and went our separate ways.

I made it inside my car before I lost my hold on the façade of happiness that I had held in place during lunch.

All that I felt this morning being with Edward was seeping out of my body. The excitement over the rebuilding of something between us was now going up in flames.

My fear that Edward would finally realize just what he would give up if he chose to come back to me hit me square in the chest. I leaned my head on the steering wheel, trying to catch my breath.

I felt the ache in my chest as my heart broke again.

I heard the passenger door open and close quietly, turning my head and finding my mother sitting in the seat next to me.

"Oh, momma…." I cried as she reached out, running a hand through my hair just like she did when I was a little girl.

"Shhh, baby girl, I know this hit you hard," she cooed softly.

Once I regained my composure and the tears had quieted, I looked into her eyes.

"Momma, you know I'm happy for them. I really am. Emmett is beside himself, I'm sure. And I," I tried to take in a deep breath to calm myself further. "I feel so guilty for crying like this. Like I'm not happy for them or that I won't love that baby with all my heart." Another sob escaped me as I tried to put what I was feeling into words; there just weren't words to describe how my heart ached.

I closed my eyes and leaned back in the seat, bouncing my head on the headrest.

"Isabella Marie, you look at me," Renee took my face in her hands. "Your brother and Rose love you very, very much. They knew it would be difficult for you when you first found out they were having another baby, if it happened at all. You know there was a possibility that it wouldn't. They both know how much you love them. They also know how much you love Garrett," she pulled me into her arms and held me as tightly as she could considering the awkward position I was in leaning across the console. "Don't you feel guilty for your feelings, baby girl, you are more than entitled to the way you're feeling. Just don't let it take you away from us again, don't let it take you over. Esme didn't realize that Rose or Emmett hadn't talked with you yet, and she feels just awful that she said anything."

"But Momma, that's just it, she shouldn't have to feel bad. This shouldn't be like this," I said, wiping my eyes, trying my best to get the tears under control. "I don't want to feel like this."

"Honey, you may not want to feel like this but don't feel guilty because you do. It's understandable. You're going to have to get it out and let it go," she pulled back, looking me in the eye. "Bella, are you sure that all this is just finding out about the baby? Have you and Edward talked about this? Does he know about…" she trailed off, seeming unsure of how to finish that question.

The thoughts of what I couldn't provide Edward flashed through my mind; the sobs ripping through me were almost uncontrollable. She pulled me back into her arms, speaking soft incoherent murmurings trying to soothe me.

When I had a margin of control, I tried to explain to my mother that Edward knew about my baby, about the hysterectomy, but we hadn't had a conversation about what that meant for us.

"He knows about the surgery and the….. I don't know how to talk to him about…... I mean, we aren't really…."my voice trailed off.

Finding out this news shed a whole new light on just how much was stacked against Edward and me for making it work.

"You need to talk to him about this, Bella," she looked at me pointedly. "He's not walking away again but the two of you need to discuss this. It's important, Bella. You can't move forward if you're not able to talk about this."

I knew she was right. Edward and I needed to talk. I released a heavy breath thinking about the conversation that I needed to have with him.

Renee patted me on the cheek as she opened her door and stepped out of the car.

She wiped at her own eyes, looking back at me with a determined look on her face. "You go home and you talk to that boy. I held my tongue once before and I'm not going to do that again. You talk to him, Bella. It's the only way you're ever going to get past this."

I nodded my head and smiled at her as she closed the door, walking toward her own car.

The 'what if's' were running rampant through my mind. I was already terrified that he wouldn't come back from Georgia. Would talking with him about this make him realize he was making a mistake? What if he decided he couldn't give up having children?

I felt the tears burning in my eyes and wiped at them angrily.

My cell rang just as I was unlocking my front door and I answered it without checking the ID.

"Hello?"

"Hey, darlin'."

_Edward. _

His voice washed over me even coming through the phone, smooth as silk. I smiled and then my face fell just as quickly with the thoughts of the events of the day and the conversation I needed to have with him.

I couldn't say a word; I was frozen, the silent tears rolling down my face.

"Bella?" I heard him call to me but again I couldn't respond. It seemed my voice had left me completely.

A small sob escaped me before I could stop it.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

Again, I couldn't speak. How was I going to do this? How could I let him go if he decided this was all too much?

"Bella, please say something. Are you hurt?"

Another sob ripped through me knowing that he was worried and that he meant physically. Unfortunately my pain wasn't physical and it wasn't as easy to heal.

"I can't do this…" I murmured before coming apart at the seams.

**EPOV**

I checked my watch for at least the fortieth time in the last half hour.

Bella promised she would call as soon as she was in the car. Alice had already returned home and I had not gotten a call. I checked my phone for the twentieth time making sure that I hadn't missed a call.

Finally breaking down, I dialed her cell phone and listened while it rang.

I felt the smile spread across my face as I heard her voice come over the line, the worry immediately leaving my body.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, darlin'," I said. Silence, crickets, no sound except for what sounded like…. _Was she crying?_

"Bella?" more silence, but for the muffled sounds of crying. Not just crying, but sobbing.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I felt the cold fear coil in my stomach.

What happened? I instantly thought about her encounter with Tyler just the week before.

"Bella, please say something. Are you hurt?"

Nothing, still complete silence on the other end of the line, I pulled the phone away from my ear to ensure that I hadn't lost the call.

My heart was ripped from my chest at the words she finally spoke.

"I can't do this…" she whispered. I could hear the tremble as she destroyed my sanity, what the hell was she talking about. She can't do what?

"You can't do what, Bella? Did something happen? I don't understand…" my brain was slow in deciphering the meaning of her words, but my heart was quick to discern what she was saying and it was slamming against my chest so hard I could hardly breathe.

"Bella-" I didn't get the opportunity to say anything more before hearing her sobbing and the line went dead.

At that exact moment, my heart felt as though it exploded in my chest.

There was silence all around me. Void, complete fucking void of any thought what so ever, my mind was a complete blank as I stared at the phone in my hand like it was suddenly going to start talking and tell me what the hell just happened.

I couldn't understand.

Something must have happened at lunch.

What. The. Hell.

I hit the speed dial for Bella's cell as I made my way down the stairs and grabbed the keys to one of the trucks, in a dead run by the time I reached the garage. Her cell went straight to voice mail. I called again and again, getting the voice mail every single time.

Where was she?

Why the hell was she crying like that?

Her words _"I can't do this…"_ bounced around in my head.

What did that even mean? What could she not do?

I didn't know where she was and the only coherent thought in my mind revolved around finding her right the fuck now. I climbed in the cab, jamming the keys in the ignition. The engine roared to life as I threw it into reverse.

It didn't make sense, she seemed so happy when she pulled out of the drive this morning. I thought she was happy over the last several days, like we were finally moving forward.

What in God's name had happened in the few hours we were separated?

I dialed Emmett's cell as I pulled onto the road heading toward Bella's house.

Maybe he knew what happened.

Bella was meeting Rose for lunch, right?

So surely they would have some idea of what was going on.

He would help me figure this out? Wouldn't he?

I was shaking as the phone continued to ring.

_Where the hell is he? _

_Answer the goddamn phone already!_

The more the phone rang the more agitated I was getting.

"Talk to me." Emmett's booming voice came over the line.

"Emmett, it's Edward. Has Rose gotten home yet?" I spat out as soon as I heard his voice.

"No. Why?" Emmett's voice became instantly concerned. "Edward, man, what's going on? Why are you looking for Rose?" Emmett was on full alert at this point.

I proceeded to fill him in on what happened when I called Bella, informing him that I had tried to call her back several times, but her phone was going straight to voice mail.

"I was afraid she might do something like this," he murmured under his breath.

What the hell did that mean?

"Ed, man, she….shit, hang on Rose is just walking in. Let me see if she knows anything."

I heard him talking to Rosalie, but couldn't make out their words.

Emmett's words were replaying in my head as I listened to their muffled conversation.

Rose came on the line just then and everything that she told me broke my heart just a little more. She explained about lunch and that she suspected Bella was holding it together for her benefit. Rosalie wasn't sure where Bella was because she left the restaurant before her. I could hear Emmett in the background, ready to head out on a search mission.

"God, you big oaf! She doesn't need anyone right now except Edward. Just let her be and let him do this," Rosalie spat.

I hoped she was right about that and my heart ached at the possibility that Bella would push me away now. Praying the progress we made over the last couple of weeks would not be lost and we wouldn't be back at the starting point or worse.

I sucked in a breath at the thought that she might close off completely to me now.

"Edward," Emmett's voice brought me back to the conversation at hand. "I'm sure she went to her house. There's a place down by the river behind her house she goes when she needs to think. She doesn't know I know about it, but…..well, just, I know she spent a lot of time there after everything went down last year."

I thanked him for the information and ended the call, hoping like hell he was right and that's where I would find her.

Relief washed over me when Bella's house came into view and her car was parked in the drive.

I pulled in the drive, parking in the spot next to Bella's mustang. Taking a deep breath to calm myself before climbing out of the truck and taking the few steps onto the porch, the kangaroo that was jumping around in my stomach was beginning to make me sick. I had no idea what I was walking into or if Bella would even let me be here for her. I palmed my chest to try to ease the ache before ringing the bell.

I waited just a moment with no response; no noise whatsoever inside the house, then I tried the door to see if it was locked.

It opened easily.

"Bella," I called as I stepped inside the door.

I noticed her cell phone on the floor, in a few pieces, along with her keys. It looked as though she just dropped them where she stood.

_That explains why the line went dead._

As I walked into the kitchen, I looked out the window and caught sight of Bella sitting on the ground under an oak tree near the bank of the river.

Emmett had been right. She was exactly where he said she would be, by the river.

I grabbed the blanket off the back of the sofa before stepping out the back door and making my way down to where she sat on the grass.

Knowing the ground was damp as the storm the night before dumped a boat load of rain on us, I wanted to make her more comfortable.

Praying the whole walk down that she wouldn't push me away, that this hadn't caused her to take too many steps backward.

She didn't move as I approached, never taking her eyes off the river as she ran her fingers through the blades of grass at her sides.

I spread the blanket out before sitting down behind her. I placed my legs alongside hers and wrapped my arms around her waist. My heart pounded in my chest, knowing that she could push me away at any moment and it would break my heart if she did. Yet I expected it at the same time.

So when she leaned back into me, and placed her arms on top of mine, lacing her fingers with mine, I let out the breath I had been holding. I felt a lump rise in my throat. I swallowed it and tried to regain my composure.

"Bella," I said softly to gain her attention

She nodded her head but didn't turn to look at me. We sat in silence for what felt like forever before she began to speak.

"I came out here a lot after I lost…" her voice broke, her breathing hitching as she tried to hold back the sob threatening to escape.

I tightened my arms around her waist, pulling her fully on the blanket and into me. I tried to think of something I could say to help ease her pain, but there was nothing. I realized that this was another time when she didn't need my words, she just needed me to show her I was here and I wasn't going anywhere.

"I came out here a lot," she started again, "after I lost the baby, after I found out about Tyler's affair. It's peaceful here. I felt like I could breathe a little when I was here. It reminded me of the times we all spent at the river."

I sucked in a breath at the reminder of those times. They truly were the best times of my life. We were happy together then, before I blew it all to hell with my insanity.

"Bella, I'm…" I whispered as I placed a kiss to her temple, but she cut me off before I could finish.

"Don't," she said a little too loudly.

Surprising me as she pulled away and stood with her back to me, I realized she hadn't yet looked at me. I watched her walk away, her arms wrapped around her waist.

_Dammit!_ I knew that position and I didn't want to see it now. I needed, _we needed_, her to stay open to me and not close herself off.

I jumped to my feet and followed her to where she stood at the bank of the river. I waited for her to say whatever it was she felt she needed to say; I felt sick with anxiety as to what that would be.

"Did you know Rosalie is pregnant?" she questioned, her voice low and rough.

"Not until a little bit ago." I took a deep breath feeling as though I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"I'm happy for them, ya know? They deserve that…" her voice cracked on the last words as she trailed off.

"Bella," I took her in my arms again as I saw her head drop and her shoulders begin to shake with her tears. "Oh, baby, please don't," I tried to find words to soothe her pain.

My heart sank at the words that began spilling from her at that moment.

"You're going to want a child of your own, Edward," she pulled away from me, finally looking me in the eye. What I saw staring back at me scared me more than anything else in my life. She had that same look I had seen the day at the river on our camping trip. It was that dead emptiness that had slowly begun to fade over the last two weeks.

"I mean, really, why wouldn't you? If I could, I would want my own child." Bella threw her arms up in the air as though frustrated and her words came faster until I was having difficulty following what she was actually saying.

"I do want my own child, but that's no longer an option for me," she was pacing back and forth between me and the blanket lying on the ground. "But it is an option for you and I can't take that away from you. No matter how much you tell me that you only want to be with me…." I couldn't think, couldn't understand for a moment what the hell she was actually saying. "I'm broken, Edward. My body is broken and it will never be fixed. I'm not whole anymore," she choked out with stuttered breaths.

"Bella," I tried to get her to slow down as my mind caught up with the meaning of what she was saying, but she cut me off again, continuing on her tirade.

"No Edward, I have to do this now. I can't let you give up your chance of having your own child, but mostly I can't….I won't survive you walking away from me again. Not this time. I won't be able to survive this time when you decide that this isn't what you want, because I know eventually that's what will happen, Edward, and I can't…" her voice was a low whisper again as she stopped in front of me but wouldn't look me in the eye.

I was stunned, completely fucking stunned.

And my silence seemed to be all she needed as confirmation of my agreement to all the garbage she had just spewed.

"I can't…I can't do it, Edward. You don't know what you're giving up, you can't know and you can't tell me that at some point you won't decide that this isn't the right thing again. You can't promise that you won't walk away from me again."

What the hell was she talking about?

I wasn't throwing away anything; if she was in my life, that's all I needed. I wasn't going anywhere, could she not see that?

"Goddamn it Bella, stop!" I closed the distance between us and placed my hands on her shoulders.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself before I completely lost all control. She needed to hear what I had to say. I had tried to show her how much I wanted to be nowhere but here and she wasn't going to push that away out of some idea that I was throwing away my opportunity to have children. I cupped her face between my palms, tilting her head up to me so she had no choice but to look me in the eye.

"Baby, you can not do this. I'm not throwing anything away. You, just you, that's the only thing I can not live my life without. And I'm not letting this happen, do you understand me?" I dipped my head to look in her eyes as she dropped her gaze, trying to break our eye contact.

"Isabella, I love you more than life itself and the only thing I need as a part of my life is you, you have to know that, to accept that. I'm not going anywhere and you can't make me leave you again. Do you hear me?" Wiping the tears that slipped from the corners of her eyes with my thumb, I kissed her cheeks, each eye lid, grazing my lips lightly over hers.

"Bella, we are not doing this, not again. I won't live without you," I whispered against her lips before covering her mouth with my own.

She sobbed into my mouth as she leaned into the kiss and opened to me, meeting my tongue with as much fervor as I was giving her. I slid my hands to her neck, over her shoulders and down her back, pulling her more into my body. Holding her to me as tightly as I could, I worshiped her mouth, trying to convey how much I truly needed only her.

Everything else in this world was unimportant and meant nothing to me without her. I tried to bite back the moan that escaped when her hands finally ran over my chest and wrapped around my neck, her fingers running through my hair and massaging my scalp.

Damn that felt so good.

I ran my hands over her ass and down to the back of her thighs. I picked her up and wrapped her legs around my waist, not breaking the kiss. Walking over to the blanket, I fell to my knees and slowly laid her down, covering her with my body. Her legs slowly fell away from my waist as I settled between them, supporting most of my weight on my forearms.

I ran my hand down the curve of her waist, gently applying pressure as I moved down her thigh. I wrapped my fingers around the back of her knee and hitched it over my hip.

She sighed a throaty sound. I broke our connection and moved to ghost my lips over the delicate curve of her jaw, down to her ear.

"I love you, Bella," I placed a kiss to the area between her jaw and her ear.

"I need you," I whispered against her skin, kissing her neck just below her ear.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm here, whether you want me here or not." I placed open mouth kisses down the column of her neck, sucking gently on her pulse point, causing her to moan my name.

"I'm not walking away from you again and you're not going to push me away now," I whispered against her skin as I kissed the hollow of her throat.

"God, Edward…" she sighed. "I need you, too," a whimpering cry falling from her lips, "I need you so much. Please, please mean what you're saying to me," she whispered.

I don't think she meant for me to hear that last part as her body stiffened when I answered her plea.

"I do," I brushed my lips along the line of her collarbone. "I have never meant anything more in my life." I raised my head to look into her eyes, willing her to believe my words.

She opened and closed her mouth a few times before she looked away. She was chewing on her lip furiously. I ran my thumb over her lip, gently pulling it from her teeth before placing a gentle kiss to it. Her eyes locked with mine. I watched as the sadness began to ebb and some of the light I needed to see returned.

"I'm sorry," she choked on a sob, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me down to her.

"Oh, baby, it's okay, just don't do that to me again, okay?" I murmured against her shoulder as I rested my head there, breathing her in.

Pulling back, I looked into her deep brown eyes and tried with all I had to make her understand that I had no intentions of going anywhere for the rest of our lives.

"I'm not playing with this, Bella. I'm here. For the rest of my days, whether you like it or not," I smiled at her and kissed her gently.

"You have to start believing that. This other stuff, the children? We can adopt, or look into other options, whatever we need to do to make that happen. We'll figure it out when the time comes. But for now, it's you and me, okay?"

She searched my face for the answers to questions I could still see running through her mind.

Finally, she nodded her head and a small smile began to spread across her beautiful face and she brought her lips up to mine.

Her hands ran down my back. I felt her fingertips dip under the hem of my shirt, her nails scraping the skin just above the waist of my jeans. I hissed at the overwhelming sensation of her hands on my bare skin.

My heart stopped for a split second as the emotions of the moment overtook me before it began slamming against my ribs. I was positive there was no way that Bella couldn't feel the pounding rhythm and I groaned as her tongue slipped into my mouth, meeting mine.

A current ran through my body, all the blood running out of my brain and straight to my groin.

A low moan escaped her as I rocked my hips into her most sensitive area and I grew even harder as she dug the heel of her foot into my thigh, pressing me tighter to her body.

Her arms came up to wrap around my neck, her hands running through my hair. Breaking the kiss, I ran my lips down the column of her neck, placing open mouth kisses there and tasting the sweetness of her skin.

"You taste so sweet, darlin'," I whispered, trailing my way to her pulse point with my tongue. I could hardly control the need to consume her.

"Edward," she whispered my name.

God I loved that sound.

"God, Bella, I've missed this," I murmured as I nipped at her collarbone. "I dreamed about this spot right here for so long."

"Oh, God," she breathed. "Edward, I…" she moaned a low guttural sound as my hand ghosted over her abdomen; I felt the muscles quiver under my fingertips as I slowly slid between her breasts to the buttons on her blouse. Slowly releasing them one by one and following my hand with my mouth, I nudged the fabric away with my nose. I took a deep breath of her sweet scent and placed a kiss to the swell of her right breast. As I brought my hand back up, I ran my thumb over the silk of her bra and could feel the pebbling of her nipple.

"Bella," her name fell from my lips like a prayer.

I wanted nothing more than to worship her body in this moment the way she deserved to be made love to, but I knew she wasn't ready to take that step. I had to slow this down before I couldn't stop and I was walking the line of no return. Knowing that when we took that step she needed to want to be with me like that again because she was sure of where we stood, not because she was overcome with the emotions of the day.

"Baby, we have to stop this," I whispered against her skin.

She groaned in frustration. Her hands were still running through my hair, making it next to impossible to have a coherent thought, but I had to do this…..I think.

"Bella, I don't want you to regret it when I make love to you again. And believe me," I raised my head to look her in the eye, "that's gonna happen, without doubt." I smirked at her and she snorted, her body beginning to relax ever so slightly. "But I want you to be sure of where _we_ are when we do that. I don't want it to be a reason for you to have more doubt about _why_ we had sex, okay?" I kissed her lips chastely, smiling at her. "I don't want anything but how I feel about you to be any part of that. And I want you to know that everything it means for us to take that step together is real."

She looked at me a long time before speaking and her words made my heart swell with their sincerity.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I know you mean what you're saying and I'm sorry I continue to doubt that it's real," she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them to me again.

I caressed her face with the tips of my fingers, brushing the hair away from her face as she tried to put her words together.

"I don't _want _to feel the doubt, I don't _want_ to be afraid to love you again, and I'm sorry that I freaked out today. I'm trying, I really am. Please…" I stopped her words with another kiss.

I knew she was trying and I knew that today, finding out about Rosalie's pregnancy, had sent her over the edge. I understood that and I was glad that she was honest with me and herself.

"Bella, it's okay. We just have to talk about this stuff, okay? Together. It's only going to work if we're honest with one another and we talk. I understand your freak out, just don't shut me out, okay? I can't do anything if you close yourself off to me."

I stood, taking her hands and pulling her up as well. I held one hand, entwining our fingers, and with the other I cupped her face as I leaned my forehead against hers. I gently slid my hand down to finally rest on her shoulder. I ran my thumb slowly up and down the curve of her neck.

She sighed and with a small nod said, "I know, Edward. I do, and I promise to talk to you before I go off the deep end again, okay? I just….I need you to understand, that….GAH!" she fisted a hand in the fabric of my shirt and buried her head in my chest.

I wrapped her in my arms and kissed the top of her head before turning my head to rest my cheek on her hair.

"It's barely been more than a year, Edward, since I lost the baby and all the stuff that happened with losing her." Her breath caught for a moment before she continued. "And I….I guess I'm still trying to deal with what that means for me, and now it effect's you, too. I know I reacted really, really badly today, I completely freaked out. But there are so many things I don't know the answers to and I'm scared and it hurts so damn bad, Edward. I can't explain to you how much it hurts." A sob escaped her and I tightened my arms around her, trying my best to let her know how much I loved her and that I was still here.

"I can't even comprehend how bad that must hurt, Bella. And if I could make it go away for you, I would. But I can't. It doesn't change anything, though. Do you see that? Please believe that. It doesn't change how I feel about you. And….can I ask you something?" I paused but didn't move to look at her. My heart rate sped up with the thought of what I was about to ask her.

She nodded into my chest but didn't move otherwise, her hand still fisted in my shirt.

"Does it change your feelings for me?" I held my breath and waited for her to answer that loaded question.

Finally after what felt like an eternity she shook her head and whispered, "No."

I tightened my arms around her. It was then that I felt it, a shift in her body, and she began to slowly snake her arms around my waist until she pressed her body tighter to mine.

We stood like that, just being in the moment, allowing the emotions to wash over us and knowing we had made it over this hurdle - together.

* * *

**A/N: **

**So this chapter was another monster. The honest truth is that this chapter really could have been broken into two chapters and ended with BPOV. But since I felt that would have been evil to leave it there knowing it would be a week before the next chapter comes out, as well as the twitterpoll consensus was that a longer chapter with some resolution instead of two shorter ones without resolution until the second chapter, I thought this was a better way to go. So here's the deal on that as well. My RL has gotten pretty out of hand. For those who know me, you know I'm in the home stretch of finishing my degree and, to say the least, its killing me. I will try my best to continue to keep the once a week posting schedule but the next few weeks are going to be killer for me. So I'm just putting it out there in case something happens that I am unable to post weekly you will know why. **

**I know some may be thinking Bella is a bit all over the place and you would be right. For any of you who have children you can imagine how hard it would be to lose one. And to lose the ability to ever bear another would be devastating, so the emotions running through her and the reactions she has in this chapter are very much all over the place. But she's trying and I hope that comes through.**

**Meanings for each of the flowers that Edward gave Bella as his little token:**

**Yellow Tulip: There's sunshine in your smile.**

**Red Tulip: Believe me  
**

**White Calla Lily: Beauty  
**

**Pink Primrose: I can't live without you  
**

**Pink Rose: Please Believe Me  
**

**Lily of the valley: Sweetness, Humility, You've made my life complete, Return to Happiness (there are several for this one listed on the site that I researched but these are the ones that fit his meaning, it's also the flower for my birth month so it's special to me personally.)**

**I have a o/s which is my Support Stacie Auction piece. It will be posting soon as the winner was gracious enough to allow me to post the story. So if you have me on author alert you should get the notification when it's posted. **

**Okay sorry for the freakishly long a/n, I apologize for that but needed to let you guys know what was going on and at least I did it at the bottom? =)  
**

**To all of you who have fav'd and alerted this story thank you so very much. I can't tell you how much that means to me. And those of you who have reviewed, I don't have words for saying thank you enough!! So now all of you hit that little green button and leave me some love.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: **

**As always I can't thank Jessica1971, super beta extraordinaire, for her is beyond words awesome. **

**Music for the chapter: Making Memories of Us by Keith Urban, Used To by Daughtry, Never Gonna be Alone by Nickelback.  
**

**A little more at the bottom.  
**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.  
**

* * *

Chapter 16

Making memories of us

EPOV

I wasn't sure how long we actually stood there by the river just breathing each other in. We were both reeling a bit from the emotions which had encompassed the last few hours.  
I had been at the highest of highs earlier this morning. Bella and I spending the morning together talking and laughing through the breakfast I had brought over was more than I could even dream of only a few weeks ago. Then while she was getting dressed for her lunch date with the girls, which I now knew included Esme as well as Renee. I wondered what had prompted all the women of our families to have a pow-wow such as that one.

Bella was breathtaking when she walked out of her bathroom in that silky fitted green blouse and the tailored black pants that hugged all the right places. The logical part of my brain was arguing with the very basal parts of my body that it was not the right thing to do too take her right there on the spot and my body almost won out in that ever increasing desire to have her in every way again. The need I felt for her was growing by the hour and I constantly fought to let her set the pace of how quickly we moved the physical parts of our relationship forward.

Watching her pull out of the drive this morning was one of the more difficult things I had to do, that was until a few short hours ago. When Bella answered her phone and I listened to her coming apart over the phone. I truly thought my heart would burst.

I wasn't sure where she was or what had happened to cause her to have such a break down. I felt sick with the thought that she intended to end what we had started because she couldn't provide me with a child of our own? I reached an even deeper level of low.

She was completely blinded by the fact she didn't believe there were options for her to have a child and while it was understandable I wasn't about to let her throw all of this away.

Not now, not after I was just beginning to fix the wrongs of our past. At least the ones that I could fix, while knowing the circumstances which sent Bella into this tailspin were not something I could just make disappear I'd be damned if I was going to let them continue to keep her away from me.

I felt Bella shiver as a breeze blew past us. Though it was late June it was cool by the river. I wrapped an arm around Bella's shoulders and turned to lead her back toward the house.

"Come on, sweetheart, let's go inside," I whispered in her ear as I leaned into her placing a kiss on her temple.

She released a long sigh leaning into my side and wrapped her arms around my waist.

God, it felt so good to have her arms around me.

The sun was just dipping below the horizon as we made it to her back door. I removed my arm from her shoulders but took Bella's hand and as I reached for the door I felt her stop, pulling on my hand.

"Edward," she whispered my name.

I turned to look at her. She had her bottom lip between her teeth, chewing it furiously and I could see the tears brimming in her eyes.

"What is it, Bella?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow trying to figure out what had her on the verge of tears again.

"Edward, why did you ask me…"Bella looked at me with a confused expression on her face as her voice trailed off.

"Ask you what, sweetheart?" I questioned innocently knowing full well what she was asking.

I was stalling. Though I knew we needed to stay open and honest with one another. I was struggling with holding it together myself and I just wasn't sure I would get through having this discussion in one piece.

"Why would you ask if this changed how I feel about you?" She dropped her gaze to our still entwined hands.

"Honestly?"

She nodded but continued to look down between our hands and the porch.

I took a deep breath and ran my free hand through my hair.

"Well….honestly, Bella, you seemed hell-bent on putting an end to this," I crooked a finger under her chin and raised her face so she was looking into my eyes once again. I caressed her delicate skin with my thumb, and then gestured between the two of us. "For some reason you were under the impression that all of this would make me want to leave again or that I wouldn't want you because of it. So it just seemed logical that if you thought it would change my feelings for you that maybe it was because you felt differently for me."

"I'm," she stopped taking in a breath and looking down at the ground. "I'm really sorry. What we're doing, Edward, I want this," she held up our entwined hands and looked back into my eyes. "I don't want to be away from you anymore. I want you to be here, Edward, and I'm just…..I'm scared Edward. I'm so afraid of waking up and this, the last couple of weeks, being nothing more than a dream. I feel like I'm going to wake up tomorrow and you're going to be gone; that I'm going to open my eyes and discover you really weren't here in the first place," her voice cracked on a sob that racked her body once again.

"Oh, baby," I whispered as I pulled her into my arms and held her as tightly as I could, tucking her head under my chin. She buried her face in my chest and fisted the front of my shirt in her tiny hands.

"Sweetheart, don't," I stroked over her hair with one hand. "Please, Bella, enough tears, no more crying tonight." I held her face between my palms and looked deep into her eyes. "You're an amazing woman, Bella. You are the strongest women I have ever known. And I'm not going anywhere okay? I'm going to be here, always. Even when I go back to Georgia, my heart will be right here with you, exactly where it belongs. And before we know it, I'll be back, okay?"

I kissed her softly and wiped away the tears falling down her cheeks with the pad of my thumb.

She closed her eyes before she nodded and placed her cheek against my chest.

"How 'bout we order some pizza and veg out with a movie? How's that sound?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around her once again, before burying my face in her hair and taking a deep breath. I would never get used to her scent, it completely intoxicated my senses.

~*~

As soon as I walked in the door of my parent's house, after reluctantly leaving Bella tonight I climbed the stairs making a bee line for the bathroom and the shower that awaited me there. I turned the nozzle to the coldest setting possible, stripped off my clothes and stepped inside.

"Shit!" I flinched as the cold water hit my body. "These damn cold showers are gettin' out of hand," I grumbled as my body adjusted to the temperature of the water.

Taking cold showers had become a regular occurrence in my daily routine since Bella and I began _trying_. Today proved that although we were making strides in repairing our relationship, or more rebuilding something much better than what we had before, we were far from the finish line.

I knew in my heart that much of the reasons behind her freak out today boiled down to her fear that I would walk away again. Though she was beginning to drop her defenses she held on to that fear and it wasn't completely unwarranted. The fact remained I couldn't just promise her I wouldn't walk away again. There was no way for me to prove I was here except to continue to show her by doing what I had done over the last couple weeks, and I knew that the hardest time for both of us was quickly coming upon us.

The time when I returned to Georgia would be agonizing for Bella and complete torture for me.

I turned the nozzle and grabbed a towel off the shelf as I stepped out of the shower.

Drying off I dropped the towel to the floor.

A high pitched screech met me as soon as I stepped out of the bathroom.

"HOLY SHIT," I yelled and grabbed the towel from the floor.

I covered up as quickly as possible before I provided my sister with more of a show than I had just given her. Which honestly was way more than either of us was comfortable with.

"You scared the hell outta me, Alice. What are you doing in here?" I asked as I took deep breaths trying to calm down. I wrapped the towel around my waist and braced myself with one hand against the door jamb.

Alice giggled from where she sat with her legs folded under her in the middle of my bed, covering her eyes with her hand.

"Sorry Edward, I didn't mean to scare you," she peeked through her fingers. "I haven't really got to talk to you since Jas and I got back, so I thought maybe we could catch up a little. But um….yeah, you need to put some clothes on cause I do not need to see my brother like that," she pointed at my still practically naked body and scrunched up her nose in disgust.

"Just…UGH! Alice, just close your eyes and let me grab some stuff, okay?" I said exasperated and ran a hand through my damp hair.

She closed her fingers and covered her eyes once again, "Okay, all covered up, which is more than I can say for you, Ick!" she laughed.

"Very funny, Alice," I muttered under my breath.

I slipped a pair of black boxer briefs on, then my cotton sleep pants before I removed the towel.

I had finally unpacked most of the things in my bag and placed them either in the closet or dresser. Since I would only be in Georgia for a few weeks and most of my clothes were there anyway, I decided that I didn't need to take more than a carry-on bag with a few essentials and my lap top on the flight back.

So the things I brought with me on this trip found a new home in my old one.

"Alright, Alice you can uncover your eyes now," I said, bending to pick the towel up from the floor and throw it in the hamper.

"Edward, seriously why would you take a shower and not have your clothes in there with you?" Alice questioned quirking an eyebrow.

"Not that it's any of your business Alice but…..I, didn't think about it until I was already in the shower. And really I wasn't expecting to walk out in my birthday suit and find my sister sitting in the middle of my bed." I rolled my eyes as she looked at me with that knowing smirk.

"And just _why_ is it that you wouldn't remember to take clothing into the bathroom with you, Edward? What exactly would have you so distracted that it would completely slip your mind that you had no clothing to put on after said shower? Hmmm?"

I really wanted to throw something at her in that moment but there was nothing within my reach that wouldn't cause permanent and possible serious injury. For which I was sure Jasper would kick my ass, not to mention what Esme would do to me.

"Alice, seriously, I love you and I'm glad that you and Jasper are home but I'm not having this conversation with you. I'm beat and it's," I looked at the clock beside my bed. "Twelve-thirty and I really just need to go to bed. I've got plans for tomorrow and I need to get some shut eye. So if you don't mind." I gestured toward my door trying to get the devilish little imp out of my room.

"Oh? What plans do you have for tomorrow exactly?" Alice questioned with that smirk on her face again as though she already knew what Bella and I had planned for the following day.

"Alice," I groaned knowing I was not getting out of talking with my sister so easily.

"Seriously, Edward, I just wanted to make sure Bella is okay. Renee called earlier and I overheard her and mom talking. So I know that she didn't react to the news as well as she made out during lunch," Alice's eyes were sad and I knew that she was really concerned about how Bella really took the news of Rosalie's pregnancy.

I sighed, defeated and just too tired to argue with her. Lying down on my bed I filled Alice in on the parts of the conversation Bella and I had. I made sure to only give Alice the details I felt Bella would be comfortable with me discussing, which in all honesty wasn't much.

I left out the part about Bella trying to break things off between us and glazed over the fears that Bella revealed to me tonight. Hopefully giving Alice enough information but not telling her things Bella wouldn't want anyone to know.

"Oh, Edward," Alice whispered and wiped a tear away from her eye. "I'm glad you talked. That's a good thing. Bella always closed herself off before; I can't tell you how big a step it is for her to open up to anybody. Edward, for her to be opening up to you," Alice shook her head as she stared at me. "It's just really good to know that she's doing that."

Alice finally walked out of my room an hour later. I slid between the sheets, settling my head on the pillow and as I drifted off to sleep I had a smile on my face that Bella had opened up to me today. We had finally taken some true steps forward and my heart swelled with the thoughts of Bella being happy with me once again.

~*~

Bella and I spent the day riding around the Swan property. We checked some of the fence line and generally did some of the things Bella confessed she didn't take time to do anymore since she was so consumed with the training schedule and preparing for Las Vegas.

We both needed showers by the time we got back to Bella's before we could grab an early dinner.

Once Bella was finished, I jumped in to wash away the grime from our day on horseback.

Bella had acted weird all day and it made me nervous as to what was going on with her. She was…..jumpy, I guess would be a good way to describe it.

I knew she was hiding something I just couldn't quite put my finger on what it was. After the drama of yesterday I was a little jumpy myself when she seemed to be hiding something from me and there were a few times through the day that my irritation almost got the better of me.

Once finished with my shower I slipped on a pair of worn jeans and headed out of the bedroom to see if Bella was ready to go. I carried my T-shirt in hand, not bothering to slip it on just yet.

I heard a small gasp as I walked into Bella's living room. I looked up to see Bella open mouthed and I smirked as her eyes raked over my bare torso before she raised them to meet mine. I chuckled quietly, running a hand through my damp hair as I saw the light blush color her cheeks and she turned her back to me quickly.

"What are you doing, Bella?" I questioned as I noticed her stuffing something in the duffle bag she was holding.

_Why is she packing a gym bag? What the hell is she up to? _I wondered to myself.

"Huh?" she squeaked and jumped a foot dropping the bag on the floor.

She turned toward me with the most adorable look on her face. She looked like a little kid who just got caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

I tossed my T-shirt on the sofa on my way over to where Bella stood.

"I said, what are you doing, Bella?" I whispered the last words as I stood inches from her and reached out to stroke her cheek with the back of my fingers.

She whimpered a little and leaned her face into my touch.

"I…I," she stammered as her eyes closed only to snap back open almost instantly. "I'm not doing anything, what are you talking about?"

But again she had that really guilty look on her face. I knew she was up to something for sure now.

"Bella," I warned.

"What? Do you know you are the absolutely most suspicious person I have ever known, Edward Cullen?" she huffed and placed her hands on her hips doing her best to scowl at me.

I swear she was the cutest thing I have ever seen and I couldn't help but laugh at her indignant attitude.

"Whatever you say, baby, but I know you and I know you're up to something." I bent and kissed her lips quickly before I turned back toward the sofa, picked up my shirt and walked back down the hall to her bedroom.

I couldn't help but laugh at her in the other room fussing and cussing me under her breath obviously thinking that I couldn't hear what she was saying as I slipped my T-shirt on and cleaned up the mess I made in her bathroom.

I heard her cell ringing as I grabbed my bag and headed back down the hall.

"Yeah, he's in my bedroom."

I heard her whispering into the phone oblivious to the fact that I had reentered the room.

"No! Oh my god! What...I…" I heard her sputter to the person on the other end of the line. Whatever they said had her completely flustered and I stifled a laugh so as not to alert her to my presence just yet.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she hissed into the phone.

"You know what I'm not even going…"

"Fine, no he doesn't have a clue," I heard her whisper.

I walked up behind her, leaned in close to her ear without actually touching her and whispered, "What do I not have a clue about, Bella?"

I laughed loudly when she cussed and jumped away from me.

"Holy shit, Edward! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" She placed a hand over her heart and breathed heavily.

She shot me a 'go to hell' look as I doubled over with laughter.

"You're such an ass. Have I told you that lately?" she grumbled and slapped me on the shoulder playfully.

"Not in the last few hours, baby," I laughed again and slapped her bottom as I passed her on my way to the kitchen to find my shoes.

I had no idea who she was on the phone with but I now knew for a fact she was up to something and she had help with whatever it was.

Bella finished up her phone call in hushed whispers and finally met me in the kitchen.

"So, what's the plan my dear?"

"Um…" she stalled. "Uh…well that was Alice and I…..I need to drop something off to her before we grab some dinner. Is that okay?" she asked cautiously.

"Sure, darlin', whatever you need to do is fine. I'm starving though so are you ready to go?" I asked as I stood and kissed her cheek.

"Yep, let me just grab my bag and I'll meet you in the car," she headed back into the other room.

As I watched her walk away I couldn't help but admire how her ass looked in the simple white shorts she was wearing. The sway of her hips as she walked away was doing really naughty things to me.

I groaned and turned to head out the door to her car.

Bella had insisted on picking me up this morning which was only the first in all the little weird things she had done today that had my suspicions raised trying to decipher what she had up her tiny sleeve.

As we pulled up to my parents house I only became more suspicious as I caught a glimpse of what I thought looked like Emmett's truck parked at the barn.

_Why would Emmett be over here at this time of the day? _I wondered.

"You coming in?" Bella asked as she released her seatbelt and opened her car door before I could even make a move.

"Uh, well aren't you just dropping something off?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, uh, yeah but I thought you might want to…I don't know Edward, I just thought you'd come in with me for a minute," she gave me an exasperated look.

"Okay, it's not a big deal Bella. I just didn't think you would be that long, I'll come in." I released my seatbelt and shook my head.

Yep, she's definitely up to something. And obviously my sister is in on whatever this is.

Bella kept glancing at me with a nervous expression every few seconds as we made our way up the front steps. I opened the door and waved her in ahead of me. She gave me a small smile as she stepped in the door just before me.

As soon as I was through the door I was greeted with a chorus of "Surprise!" from both our families and I blinked a few times trying to take it all in.

There were streamers from the vaulted ceiling of the family room and a huge banner hanging from the banister on the second floor exclaiming 'Happy Birthday Edward'. There were balloons everywhere and I saw Garrett chasing one across the floor crawling after it as fast as he possibly could and I chuckled at the sight.

"What the hell is all this?" I laughed as my sister bounded over to wrap her arms around my neck and kiss my cheek.

"It's a birthday party, silly!" Alice laughed and hugged me tightly.

I looked to where Bella stood near Charlie and smiled at her knowing the little sneak had tricked me into getting out of the house so they could prepare the house for all of this.

My mother crossed to wrap me in her arms and whisper, "Happy Birthday, Edward, I've missed being able to do this. Celebrate your birthday with you here. I'm so glad you've come back to us."

I choked up a little at my mother's admission of how much she had missed me over the past few years and had to clear my throat before I could speak.

"Thank you, for everything," I said in a voice thick with emotion.

I thanked everyone. Shaking hands with Jasper, Emmett and Charlie before looking at Carlisle, though he seemed much more in control of his emotions than my mother.

"Happy Birthday, son," he said as he shook my hand before pulling me into a brief hug.

"Thank you."

He slapped my back one last time before he released me, and smiled. It was evident how happy both he and my mother were that I had returned to the family. They took me back in as though I had never been gone. It wasn't easy for them, I know, but they did it and I really couldn't love them more for not kicking my ass to the curb for the way I had acted.

I only hoped to make up for lost time when I was back permanently.

Everyone filed out of the family room onto the veranda where tables where set up, along with the biggest array of food I had seen in quite some time.

I caught Bella's arm before she stepped through the door and pulled her down the hallway.

"Edward, what are you doing?" she stage whispered and tried to pull her arm from my grasp.

"Shhh," I admonished, tightening my grip slightly, and stepped into Carlisle's study where we could have a little privacy.

I turned on her and wrapped my arms around her crashing my lips to hers pushing her back against the door, her hands resting between us on my chest. Bella leaned into the kiss and ran her hands up over my chest and wove them into my hair. She scraped across my scalp with her nails. I moaned into her mouth at the sensation and ran my hands down her tiny body, pressing her more tightly into me.

"Wow," she sighed breathlessly when I finally pulled away from the kiss.

"Yeah, my thoughts exactly," I whispered against her lips as I rested my forehead against hers.

She still had her hands buried deep in my hair and I couldn't think straight with the sensations coursing through my body at the moment.

Bella, here in my arms, in my parent's house and she, along with our family, had went to so much effort to celebrate my birthday. I felt overwhelmed by the emotions of how much they all cared for me. I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself.

"Come on cowboy, we need to get out there before someone comes looking for the man of honor." Bella quipped as she pushed against my chest and took my hand leading me out to the veranda where everyone was already seated with plates overflowing with food.

The food selection was amazing. So many of my favorites to choose from, there were ribs and chicken. Grilled corn on the cob, the list went on and on and I wasn't sure where to start.

The conversation around the table was lively and we laughed at stories from our childhood. Esme and Carlisle pulled out their arsenal of stories from when I was a small boy, before my parent's accident. I felt a pang of sadness at the thoughts of my life before coming to live with Carlisle and Esme. Though I couldn't have asked for a better life than the one Carlisle and Esme had provided I longed for my parents on this day more than any other.

I noticed Bella staring at me with a knowing look in her eyes.

I leaned in close to her ear whispering, "I love you, have I told you that lately?"

I smiled as I watched the pink tinge her cheeks. I loved that I could get that response from her. She always hated the fact that she blushed at some of the things I said to her but to me it let me know that I had some affect on her.

"Gift time!" Alice squealed and jumped up from the table to grab the first of the gifts lying near the cake that sat in the corner on its very own table.

Alice plopped the first small box in my lap and grinned widely.

"This one's from mom, dad, Jasper and I," she chirped excitedly.

I tore off the silver paper and opened the box to find an itinerary for a trip to Tuscany, and two plane tickets.

I looked up to meet the sparkling eyes of my sister.

"My God, this is…" I turned to look at my family unable to come up with the right words to convey how much this meant to me.

I cleared my throat of the lump that had formed there looking over to Bella who took my hand and squeezed it gently. I had wanted to take a trip to the Mediterranean since I was a boy and they all remembered. I was overcome with their love for me.

"Thank you, it's not enough to say that but….thank you."

Emmett and Rosalie gave me a leather bound journal and from little Garrett a coffee mug with _Uncle Eddie_ on it. A book Charlie and I had discussed only a few days ago which I made mention of being in search of was now in my hand as a gift from Bella's parents.

As I finished opening the last of the gifts Bella leaned in to whisper in my ear, "I wanted to wait and give you my gift later."

I looked into her eyes and nodded before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

I thanked everyone for their thoughtfulness and helped Bella to clean away the remnants of the wrapping from the gifts.

I relaxed in one of the lounge chairs next to Jasper and Emmett.

Alice and Esme began cutting the cake while Renee and Rosalie passed it out to everyone.

Emmett teased Bella endlessly about one thing or the other as they carried on their usual banter. But Bella she gave as good as she got when it came to teasing her big brother.

We all laughed when she caught Emmett unaware as he held his plate close to his face taking a bite of cake and she slapped his hand causing him to smash the cake into his face.

Garrett especially thought this was funny and squealed, "Da!" as he giggled.

I caught the wistful look that passed over Bella's face when she looked at Garrett but she quickly composed herself and went on to help Renee and Rosalie pass out more cake to the others before finally taking a seat on the end of my lounge chair.

"Hi," she said with a shy smile on her beautiful face.

"Hi," I repeated as I sat my plate on the ground next to my chair and sat up to kiss her cheek softly.

"Thank you," I murmured.

"For what?" she asked but her smile had grown into a full out grin.

"For being such a wonderful person and because you helped to do this for me. And because I know I was sort of a pain in the ass today, trying to figure out what you were up to. But I'm glad I didn't figure it out, 'cause this," I gestured to our family sitting in different areas around the Veranda. "Is exactly what I wanted for my birthday. Being surrounded by my family and you, Bella, there's nothing else I could want."

I kissed her soft lips, slowly, gently, wanting to show her how much just being here with her was more than I could have ever asked for.

She giggled pulling away and patted my chest where her hand rested over my heart.

"You really know how to sweet talk a girl don't you?" she teased.

"I'm not just sweet talkin' you Bella. I mean it, there's nowhere else I want to be."

She cupped my cheek in her small hand and I leaned my face into her touch before turning to place a kiss to her palm.

Our moment was broken by the insanity that is my sister.

"Alright you two, break it up. We have a football game in which we are going to kick you boy's asses!" Alice challenged with her hands on her hips.

"Aw now darlin' that's a mighty tall order for such a small package to be takin' on don't ya think," Jasper quipped as he stood and placed a kiss on top of his wife's head.

Alice huffed at him with a scowl on her face.

"No I do not think it's too tall an order for us, thank you very much!"

"Alice seeing as Rosalie is out of commission, it's going to be a lot harder for you girls to get anywhere near beating us," Emmett chimed in jumping up to flex his muscles like Arnold Swarzenegar in the Mr. Olympia contest.

"Ew, Emmett, that's just nasty." Bella full out guffawed at her brother's antics.

"And for your information Incredible Hulk, one of you boys has to play on our team because Rosalie is out, "Alice informed.

Jasper and Emmett who were fussing about the inequity of having a man play on the girl's team.

"I'll do it," I volunteered smiling down at Bella who had scooted up to sit between my legs with her back pressed to my chest in the lounge chair.

"Oh yeah that's just perfect, Edward, who the hell is going to be quarterback for our team. Jasper can't throw for shit and I need to be tackle." Emmett was completely incensed at the idea that I would play on the opposing team.

"Emmett, holy hell its flag football there is no tackle in flag football. So suck it up and deal with it. Edward is playing on our team," Bella shot back at her grumbling brother before she turned her head and kissed my cheek.

"Okay, that's all settled. Let's turn this puppy out! Come on Bella we have to prepare," Alice chirped as she bounced excitedly clapping her hands.

Before I could even comprehend what was happening Alice grabbed Bella by the hand, pulled her out of my lap and was leading her up the steps and into the house.

"What the hell was that?" I asked Jasper as he took a seat in the lounge chair next to me.

"I believe, my friend, that was your sister commandeering your girlfriend to get _prepared_ for football," he laughed as he took a long pull of his beer.

I was struck for a moment at the realization that Jasper had just referred to Bella as my girlfriend. I couldn't wipe the stupid grin off my face at the thought. I wasn't sure we were really there yet but I liked the sound of it none the less.

I looked over at Emmett and he didn't seem to have caught on to what Jasper said as he continued with the conversation about the ladies 'preparing' for the football game.

"Good lord, how much preparation does it take, we're playing flag football for Christ's sake?" Emmett groaned as he sat down on the other side of me. I looked back to Jasper and saw the knowing look on his face.

Had he said that on purpose just to see my reaction? That little shit.

I was sure of it when he nodded to me with an evil smirk on his face before answering Emmett's question and taking another pull off his beer.

"Well, with Alice and Rosalie, my friend it could take hours."

We all laughed at the truth in that statement as we waited for our women to join us once again. Even though Rosalie wasn't able to play she was preparing with Bella and Alice all the same. I guess she would be their cheerleader for the game.

Emmett, Jasper and I had already changed into shorts while the ladies cleaned up the tables earlier. Though we each had volunteered to help they waved us off and instructed us to just stay out of the way.

Carlisle and Charlie had gone inside I'm sure to the study where they were probably breaking out the scotch and cigars before kicking back to catch the latest ballgame on ESPN.

Renee and Esme had taken Garrett back to the house to put him down for a nap. I guess that was one of the great things about having Renee around since her and Charlie weren't here that often anymore, she took over the kid and let Emmett and Rose have some free time.

I'm sure they would all be joining us shortly to watch the throw down that would be the football game between this motley crew.

It seemed like an eternity but was more like thirty minutes when the girls came back out of the house.

The girls had dressed out in full football attire sans the pads. They had even gone as far as applying huge black lines under their eyes.

My breath caught as I took in Bella's outfit. She had on a tight pair of silver football pants with a blue and silver Cowboys jersey tied with a knot at her back to make it fit more snugly.

I groaned as I watched her make her way to where we now stood in the back yard. The shirt rode up just enough to give me a glimpse of her tone abdomen and I was nearly undone by the images flashing in my mind at the sight.

"Let's get this game started," Emmett exclaimed excitedly slapping his hands together and rubbing them vigorously as he scowled trying to intimidate Bella.

I saw our parents exit the house and take ring side seats for the bedlam that was about to be unleashed.

Bella and Emmett were both exceptionally competitive so I knew that those two would go at one another whether this was flag football or not. I pulled Bella and Alice to the side to have a little team meeting so we were all on the same page as to how we could win this game.

"Aye-aye, Captain!" Alice saluted and Bella just winked at me with a sexy smirk on her face.

Emmett of course started talking trash as soon as Bella took her position squaring off against him.

I could see her temper rising but Emmett kept pushing.

"Emmett, why don't you shut the hell up and play," she snapped at him before she took her position again.

I laughed at Emmett's shocked face.

Jasper slapped him on the back saying, "Em, you might want to put a lid on that before your baby sister hands your ass too ya."

Rosalie was standing on the sidelines shaking her head and laughing loudly.

Alice took her position to my left and I groaned as I turned my attention to the vision in front of me.

Bella, bent over the ball, her delectable little ass right there…..

I really should have thought this through more before assigning Bella as center. I truly was a masochist. I had to be because there was absolutely no other explanation as to why I thought that this would be a good idea.

_Oh this was not a good idea at all, Einstein. _

Bella straightened and looked over her shoulder with a confused look on her face until she took in my expression. The deceptively innocent look on her face was betrayed by the smirk that pulled at her pouty lips.

"What's the matter, Edward? You okay?" she asked in a voice that had a hint of seduction to it.

"You…you," I sputtered. "Oh, you are an evil, evil woman." I finally spat through clenched teeth.

She giggled and bent over again readying herself to play but not before she wiggled her ass ever so slightly.

I heard the quite snickers of the others.

The thought crossed my mind that two could play this game if that was the path she wanted to travel and an evil grin slid across my lips. I placed my hands on her waist and squeezed gently before running them over the curve of her hips, down the top of her thigh then back up to her waist.

"You ready, love," I purred into her ear.

She stood up straight and glared at me as I chuckled. This woman would most certainly be the death of me, but oh I would die a happy, happy man.

An hour later we were ahead by three but Jasper and Emmett had the ball.

Our plan was to have Alice and Bella double team Emmett while I covered Jasper. We were pretty evenly matched speed wise so I was confident that if Emmett were able to get away from both Bella and Alice I could stop Jasper before he scored the winning touchdown.

Jasper took off down the field as soon as he hiked the ball to Emmett. I was close on his heels as I heard I high pitched squeal and was instantly afraid Bella had been injured. I turned immediately ready to help her but the sight I was confronted with had me doubled over in laughter as I realized the scream had come from Emmett.

He was lying, ball in hand with both Alice and Bella pinning his massive frame to the ground.

"Get off of me you two," he was yelling at the top of his lungs. "Bella you said this was supposed to be flag football, why the hell did you tackle me!"

Bella and Alice were laughing so hard they could hardly move. Rosalie had fallen to her knees completely overcome with hysterics at watching her massive husband being taken to the ground by two women who together didn't weigh what he did. I could hear the laughter from our parents behind me.

"Aw, you're just," Bella gasped as she rolled to her back and off her brother's chest trying to catch her breath between fits of giggles. "You're just mad that we won."

Emmett shot her a look and flipped himself to a standing position with way more grace than you would expect from someone his size.

"Whatever baby girl, you cheat," he grumbled but extended both girls a hand to help them off the ground before slumping over to where Rosalie was doing her best to get her giggles under control.

A short time later everyone was saying their goodbyes as Emmett buckled a sleeping Garrett into his car seat. Charlie and Renee piled in on either side of the baby and waved one last time before closing the door as Emmett pulled away from the house.

My parents as well as Jasper and Alice had gone their separate ways to their respective quarters leaving Bella and I alone in the family room.

Bella had a shy smile on her face as I wrapped my arms around her tiny frame pulling her to me for a hug. She leaned into me, folding her arms between us and placed her cheek against my chest. I released a contented sigh at the feel of her in my arms. This was home.

"Edward," she whispered.

"Hmm," I hummed in answer.

"I have your gift in my bag."

Her voice was so quiet and shy I couldn't really figure out what had her so hesitant suddenly.

She had been so confident and flirty just a short time ago. I pulled back to look at her.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I…" she paused as she looked up at me from under her lashes. "I'm just not really sure that it was such a good idea now."

"Baby, whatever it is I'll love it because it's from you. I don't really need anything except what's right here in my arms," I assured as I kissed her soft lips, chastely.

She released a breath and pulled away from me, crossing the room to retrieve the gift from the duffel bag I saw her carrying earlier. I guess this is what she was hiding in there along with that football uniform.

She looked so unsure as she handed me a rectangular box wrapped in blue paper. I took it from her and then led her over to the sofa before turning back to the gift, opening it gingerly.

It was heavy but I couldn't discern what was inside the box.

When I lifted the lid and removed the tissue inside my eyes widened at what I saw.

I looked up to see Bella chewing on her bottom lip and wringing her hands nervously.

"Bella…" I breathed.  
Her eyes snapped to mine and I saw tears spring to hers.

"I…you…if you don't like it it's okay. I…thought maybe that… oh never mind I'll, we can get you a real gift…" she stammered and tried to grab the box.

"Stop it." I grabbed her hand before she was able to remove the box from my lap. "Bella, why would I not love this?"

The look on her face was heartbreaking. She truly believed that I wouldn't want something like this from her.

"Who took this?"

"Renee," she replied shyly. "She saw us that day and snapped the picture. I….I thought you could take it with you when you leave next week. Maybe," she stopped to take a deep breath. "You wouldn't forget that I'm here waiting for you if you had this to look at."

A tear streaked down her cheek and I pulled her onto my lap.

"God Bella, I could never forget that, with or without this. Thank you, I love it," I assured her as she buried her face in the crook of my neck and I held her tightly to me.

* * *

**A/N: I wanted to just shout out a huge thank you to all of you who are reading and reviewing. The response to the last chapter was truly overwhelming. Thank your to those of you who shared your personal stories, the strength you exhibit is outstanding. Thank you and I'm humbled by it, truly.**

**I hope you enjoyed the little bit lighter chapter. These two needed to have a bit of fun with one another and their families. There may be some questions as to what is in the picture and it will be described in the next chapter. Also the next chapter will bring Edward leaving for Georgia. **

**Let me know what you thought!  
**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: **

**Disclaimer: Sm owns all things Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.**

**So a big huge thank you to Jessica1971 for her super beta skills. **

**Mood music for the chapter: Your arms feel like home by 3 doors down, Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton, I need you by Tim McGraw/Faith Hill, **

**Okay so to clarify time line a little bit Edward's Birthday party in the last chapter was on the Saturday before his actual birthday. I just wanted to put that out there and when you get into the chapter you'll understand why I'm making that clear. And yes Edward will be leaving in this chapter. Sorry I know this is not an event anyone has been looking forward to, but it has to be done. So without any more delay, hope you enjoy! **

* * *

Chapter 17

Your arms feel like home

BPOV

I took Edward's hand and led him out onto the Veranda where everyone was already seated. I felt my stomach knot in anxiety as I looked at the gifts set aside for Edward. I brought his gift but wanted to wait until we were alone to give it to him. It was really simple but I wanted it to be private, something just between the two of us. I didn't want to share that little bit of us with anyone else. The memory of the day Renee first showed me the photo of Edward and I flashed through my mind.

_Renee had come by the barn, just as I was finishing up a session with Raven. It was one of the rare occasions recently that Edward wasn't with me. He was attending to some business with Carlisle and we made plans to meet at my house when we were both finished._

"_Hey, baby girl," Renee called to me from the fence._

"_Hey, momma, what are you doing down here?" I questioned as I dismounted and led Raven through the gate, stopping just in front of where she stood._

_She looked a little nervous and I noticed that she was holding a large envelope in her hand._

"_I," she started and stopped, and started again. "I hope you don't get upset with me but I did something and I wanted to give it to you," she looked up at me sheepishly._

"_What'd you do, momma?" I groaned knowing how much she loved to meddle and I was really afraid to even know what might be in that envelope she held in her hands._

"_Well, really Bella, don't get mad at me, okay? I wasn't really spying on you two, I just…"_

"_Oh my God! Momma, what did you do?" I was on the verge of panic at the thoughts her words were evoking._

"_Shhh, good lord child, it's not all that bad. Just… here," she said, shoving the large thick, heavy weighted envelope into my hands._

_I cautiously opened it and reached in._

"_When….how…" I couldn't string a complete thought, much less a sentence, together. I pulled out a photograph of Edward and me standing just outside the barn. I instantly recognized the moment this had been taken. I looked up at my mother with my mouth agape._

_Somehow my mother had snapped a picture of Edward and me the day we began 'trying'. _

_The picture was black and white, our foreheads pressed against one another, his hand resting cupped around my neck, mine resting on his chest, our eyes closed._

"_This was…" I looked between my mother and the photo as she just nodded her head with a knowing smile on her face. "After we got out of the water trough I was walking to the house to get some towels and Edward stopped me. I was…. and he…"_

_I remembered Edward taking me in his arms and holding me just the way we were in the picture and felt tears burning in my eyes. _

"_How did you…how did you get this without either of us knowing?" I asked in a quiet voice thick with emotion._

_I couldn't believe someone had not only seen us like this, but had actually taken a picture and we had no idea._

"_Well, I came out the front door, heading down to the barn to find your daddy and Em, and I saw you two standing there like that," she tapped the picture lightly with one finger. "So I stepped back in the house and grabbed Rosalie's camera. I would have gotten her to do it, but I was afraid I would miss it if I tried to track her down instead of just taking it myself." _

Edward's party flew by and before I knew it he and I were alone in his parent's family room. I resigned myself to the fact that I would have to give him the gift, but I couldn't help feeling this gift would seem silly to Edward as it was beginning to seem silly to me at that moment. It was purely a sentimental thing and the reasoning that went into the gift made me feel extremely vulnerable. I was putting my concerns that he would forget _us_ again when I wasn't around to be a constant reminder of his promises on open display. I tried to explain to Edward, but I had no words to describe what the picture meant for me.

When he opened it and I took in the shocked look on his face, I thought my heart would beat out of my chest. I immediately wanted to take it back. I knew it was a stupid sentimental thing for me to do and I tried to hold in the tears as I explained why I wanted him to have the picture.

My fear that he would go back to Georgia, realize that this wasn't what he wanted and stay there, overtook me and I thought the tears would choke me as I held them back with everything in me. I wiped angrily at the lone tear that escaped.

When Edward pulled me into his lap and said, "God Bella, I could never forget that, with or without this. Thank you, I love it…" I couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

He held me, whispering his love for me and rubbing my back soothingly.

"Bella, do you really think I could ever forget that you're here?" Edward asked after my tears had slowed and I was breathing more easily.

I nodded my head slightly but didn't move from where my face was buried in the crook of his neck. Being here in his arms, breathing him in and knowing that for right now he was here with me, I felt silly. But I knew when he got on that plane and the reality of him leaving again hit me, this wouldn't feel so real anymore and I clung to him as if I were drowning.

"Baby, I'm so sorry," he murmured as he turned to kiss my hair. "I realize that a few weeks of being with one another and trying to work through all this isn't enough to make your fears go away, but I swear to you there is no way I could ever forget where my heart is. This, right here is my home, Bella. I don't mean this house, or Texas. I mean right here," he tightened his arms around me, "with you, this is where I need to be and where I will always come back to."

~*~

The next few days continued in much the same way as before Edward's party. We were spending as much time together as possible before he left the following day. Edward was stressed making preparations to go back to Georgia and trying to settle a few things here, as well. And I had worked a few extra sessions in with Raven and Tig the last two days, as well as beginning some ground work with Maverick. He was doing exceptionally well recently health wise and I was really excited to start some early work with him.

I took a deep breath as thoughts of the night of Edward's party flashed through my mind. Edward tried so hard to reassure and quell my fears of what would happen between us while he was away. To a great degree it worked, but in the back of my mind and my heart the ember of fear was still burning.

Today was Edward's actual birthday and we were having dinner here, just the two of us. The butterflies in my stomach were making me nauseous.

I looked at the clock and realized that Edward would be here in less than an hour. The food was pretty much finished but I still needed to shower and dress before he got here. I hurriedly removed the roast from the oven and placed the yeast rolls in so they could cook while I got ready.

The twice baked potatoes were warming on the cook top and the appetizers were already on a plate. The tomato and mozzarella tarts turned out much better than I thought they would. I only made them once or twice before so I was pleased when they came out just as I had hoped. I wanted everything to be perfect for tonight.

I grabbed the wine bottle from the fridge and stepped into the dining room to place it on the table. Scanning the room to make sure everything was in place, double and triple checking all the preparations, I felt a little OCD but I needed to release some of the nervous energy flowing through my body.

Satisfied that everything was as close to perfection as possible, I ran down the hall and into my bathroom to take a quick shower.

I ran through my routine at warp speed and hopped out of the shower. I slipped on my robe before running back to the kitchen to check on the rolls.

I was surprised when I looked in on them that they were golden brown and ready to come out of the oven. I grabbed the pot holder and, just as I took hold of the pan, I hit the oven door with my leg and it flew up, hitting my arm. I dropped the pan as I jerked my arm away from the hot surface but it was too late. I had a huge angry burn across the tender skin on the underside of my forearm.

"Shit! Ow, ow ow!" I tried to blink away the tears as I ran my arm under the cold water.

I was so distracted by the pain that I didn't hear Edward enter the house and almost jumped out of my skin as his silky voice wafted across the room.

"Bella," he called with concern in his voice. "What happened? Are you alright?"

He crossed the room quickly taking my hand in his and pulling my arm from the running water to inspect the burn.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just burned my arm with the oven door," I sniffed.

"Shit! Baby, this is pretty bad. Maybe you should go get it checked out." Edward ran a finger gently around the skin that was already beginning to blister.

"No," I said quickly. "No, I'm fine. I've done it before. You know me, I'm about as accident prone as they come. There's some burn cream in the cabinet," I pointed to the cabinet just behind his head. "Just get that for me please and some gauze, it'll be fine."

"Bella, really, that doesn't look like a burn that you can just put some cream on, cover it up, and leave it be. That's pretty significant," Edward fussed as he took the items I requested from the cabinet.

"Edward, honest, I've done this so many times it's not that big of a deal. It just hurts like hell but that cream is some stuff I got for a burn like this before. I swear it's not that bad."

Edward gave me a look that said he didn't completely believe me but he wasn't going to argue the point anymore. He took my arm in his hand again and gently applied the cream to my skin.

His hand stilled and he looked at me with concern in his eyes when he touched one particularly tender spot and I hissed.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"It's okay, that spot is a little more tender than the others," I replied in a hushed tone and smiled at him.

The fact my whole body felt as if it were on fire from his touch wasn't helping the burn in my arm at all.

As he was bent over my arm gently applying the bandage, my eyes roamed over his broad shoulders and down his back. The dark gray shirt he was wearing stretched across the muscles of his back and his trim waist. I licked my lips involuntarily as I took in the way his dark jeans sat low on his hips and the denim was snug on his long muscular thighs….

I saw the smirk on his face as he caught me checking him out and I blushed.

"Like what you see, darlin'?" he teased and winked at me.

Not to let him get any satisfaction from teasing me, I replied, "Why yes, yes I do, Mr. Cullen."

I giggled when his mouth dropped open at my boldness and I went on as if nothing had occurred.

"Thank you for bandaging me up here, Doc."

I stood on tip-toe to kiss his cheek before I turned and headed down the hall toward my room to finish getting dressed.

It dawned on me that I had been standing in the room with Edward in nothing more than my bathrobe and a towel around my hair. I felt the flush run through my body at the thought of being practically naked in the same room with Edward while he was touching me….

I shuddered at the images running through my mind with that realization.

"I'll be right out," I called over my shoulder as I entered my bedroom. "Why don't you pour us some wine while I finish getting dressed?"

I could swear I heard him utter a few expletive's under his breath as I closed the door. I snickered at the thought that he might have just had the same realization I did and I was affecting him in the same way he was affecting me.

Tearing the towel off my damp hair, I ran my fingers through the tangled mess and then worked the leave in conditioner through the knots hoping that it would do it's magic before I tried to get a brush through the rat's nest.

I grabbed the cotton dress I laid out earlier and slipped it over my head. Rummaging through my closet I found the strappy sandals Alice and Rosalie insisted I buy to go with the dress on one of the shopping trips we had gone on a few months ago. I wasn't into shopping as much as they were, but I enjoyed it occasionally and I had to admit these shoes were amazing. They made my legs look fantastic and I was glad I had taken the time to get a pedicure earlier in the week.

Once I had my hair blown dry, I ran my hands through it once again trying to tame it as much as possible, but it was really a futile effort. I applied some light makeup and checked myself in the mirror one last time before heading back out to Edward.

Edward was in the dining room leaning over the table lighting the candles I had arranged earlier in the day. Edward poured the wine into our glasses and I watched as he picked up his glass, bringing it to his full lips and taking a sip.

I never thought watching a man taking a drink could be so erotic, but seeing Edward do just that was truly an out of body experience. I had to internally shake myself to stop the thoughts that were running through my mind.

I cleared my throat to gain his attention. When he turned and our eyes met he took my breath away yet again. I watched his green eyes darken as they swept over my body and his breathing picked up ever so slightly.

"Bella," he breathed and crossed the room, taking my hand in his.

Edward brought my hand to his lips, looking at me from under his lashes and smiling as he placed a feather light kiss to each of my knuckles.

My knees were weak from the softness of his lips on my skin and I sucked in a breath at his touch.

"My God, Bella, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

I looked away as I felt the heat in my cheeks. I don't know how he did it, but he absolutely turned me into the blushing teenager I had once been. I wasn't sure that I really liked that feeling, but it was undeniable that I loved the sensations he ignited in my body.

"Thank you," I whispered.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm the pounding of my heart. I pulled my hand out of his and smiled at the slight pout on his face.

"Come on, Casanova, have a seat. It's your birthday and you're going to sit and let me serve you." I patted his chest on my way to the table.

"Bella, you don't have to do-" he began to protest, but I held up a hand to stop him before he got started.

"Yes, I do. You're my guest tonight; it's your birthday and I want to do this. So sit," I pointed a finger at his chair and glared at him.

I wasn't taking any of his arguments tonight. This was one way I could show him how much I cared, it was a little thing but I wanted to take care of him. The least I could do was serve him dinner.

"Yes, ma'am," he winked as he sat in the chair.

We slipped into easy conversation once I finished serving the food and took my seat next to Edward. We talked about what his plans were when he came home and I was surprised that he wanted to go into private practice and hang up the research aspects of his career. I was ecstatic when I found out Edward talked with a few of the large animal veterinarians in the area, setting up some interviews for when he returned.

I took a long sip of wine to calm the nerves that continued to make my stomach turn unpleasantly. I felt like my body was humming with an electric current.

If I were honest, the nerves were probably as much about tomorrow as they were about tonight, but I didn't want to think about that right now. I knew if my mind went down the path toward thinking of Edward getting on a plane to leave again I would never hold it together, and I didn't want to ruin what time we had left together.

"Bella, that was amazing. Thank you."

Edward reached across the table to take my hand in his and looked into my eyes with a smile on his perfect face.

"You don't have to thank me, Edward. I wanted to do something special for you, so I'm just glad you enjoyed it."

I wanted him to know that cooking dinner on his birthday was the least I could do for him. Edward needed to know that I cared for him; even though I couldn't tell him how much right now, I wanted him to know all the same.

"I have enjoyed every minute of it, love."

I smiled at his sweetness and lifted a hand to cup his cheek, running my thumb over the softness of his bottom lip and hard line of his jaw. Edward leaned into my hand, clasped his much larger hand over mine, pressing it more firmly into his face, and closed his eyes.

"I'm gonna miss this," I heard him murmur.

I don't really think he meant for me to hear his words because his eyes shot open when I sucked in a breath at the reminder that he was leaving in the morning. I couldn't hide the tears that sprang to my eyes immediately and I pulled my hand away, embarrassed that I was suddenly so emotional over something I knew was coming. I stood and began picking up our plates to take them into the kitchen. Edward grabbed my wrist before I could remove his plate and looked up at me with eyes that held so much emotion I was taken aback by the intensity of it.

"Baby, please," he whispered as he stood and pulled me into his arms.

"I'm sorry," the only response I could choke out and still hold onto my composure.

I tightened my arms around his waist once more before pulling away and taking the plates into the kitchen. I kept my head down and my back to him until I was out of the room. I didn't want to make him feel guilty for leaving. I knew he was going to be gone for a few weeks and that he had to go back to wrap up all the things that were a part of his life in Georgia. But it didn't make it any easier to know that he was going to be gone _again._ With the things we had shared over the last few weeks and all that we talked about, I couldn't help the fear that threatened to have me in a puddle on the floor at any second. I wanted to be strong, to believe in what we had started again. I needed, more than air, to believe that when he climbed on that plane in the morning he would be coming back just like he promised.

Though I felt more confident in the relationship we were building, there was an irrational feeling that he would finally see this as way more effort than he was willing to give.

I feared that the nightmare that had been plaguing me would become my reality and Edward would see that he was right before, that my hold on him wasn't strong enough to withstand all the things in our way. There was a part of me that was afraid, even if he did return, the weeks away would give him time to rethink his assurances of only needing me in his life. And then he would finally see he would be giving up more than he was willing to live without by being with me.

So lost in my thoughts, I didn't hear Edward enter the room and I started when I felt his arms around my waist.

"Bella, I need to get going. I have to be at the airport by nine," Edward whispered as he turned his head and placed a kiss on my hair, tightening his arms around me.

I hadn't realized how late it was until he said those dreaded words. I turned to wrap my arms around him, burying my head in his chest, wanting, needing, to commit every part of him to my memory.

I fisted my hands in the back of his shirt and held on with everything in me. I wasn't ready to let him go. The fear he would disappear was overwhelming me and I could feel it creeping up through my chest, squeezing the air out of my lungs.

"Please, Edward, just stay…..stay with me tonight."

I shocked myself at the level of desperation even I could hear in my voice. I didn't want to beg like that and I wasn't asking him to have sex, I just needed to be with him tonight. I needed to know that he was real and feel his arms around me while we slept just this one time before he was gone again.

He pulled back from me slightly with a tortured look on his face, "Bella?"

I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to see his face when he refused me.

"Please….I'm not ready to let you go just yet."

"Bella, I don't want to leave either,but, baby…I….I don't think we're rea-"

"No," I cut him off before he could go any further and looked into those piercing green eyes. I needed him to understand that wasn't what I was asking for, not tonight. "I know that, Edward. I'm not ready to take that step. I just…I need you to hold me tonight. I need to know this is real and that you're here with me, right now. I need to hold onto this just a little longer," I paused, trying to catch my breath as I buried my head in his chest, doing everything in my power to hold off the tears.

"I need to feel you next to me tonight, Edward, so I can hold onto the dream just a little bit longer. I don't know what I'm going to do while you're gone," my voice broke on the last words.

"God, Bella," he practically sobbed into my neck where he had buried his head, taking deep breaths as if he were breathing in my scent, committing it to memory just as I was doing to him.

"Edward, I just want to lie in your arms, to sleep next to you just tonight, before…." Suddenly the desperation that I was feeling began to turn into embarrassment as I realized how pathetic I sounded begging this man to just hold me, to sleep next to me.

_Oh My God, Bella! What the hell are you doing?_

I chastised myself for being so unbelievably ridiculous.

_You're a grown woman, for Pete's sake!_ _What the hell are you thinking? _

I couldn't believe I had just done that, begging him like some simpleton with absolutely no self respect what so ever.

"Never…..nevermind, Edward. I- I'm sorry," I stammered as I pulled out of his arms and tried to put some distance between us. I was mortified that I had behaved in such a way.

_Why would you do something like that? _

Edward surely must be questioning my mental faculties after having the equivalent of three breakdowns in less than a week.

"God, Bella, how pathetic can you possibly be?" I berated myself under my breath as I fisted both hands in my hair and turned my back to Edward.

I had just completely made a fool out of myself.

_Oh My God! How ridiculously stupid he must think you are? _

I couldn't stand it another second. The weight of my embarrassment and the realization that Edward had been almost completely silent throughout the last few minutes of my self mutilation was all the proof I needed that he thought I was truly insane and most definitely did not want to spend the night with me.

"Edward, I'm sorry. That was really silly of me. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that of you," I tried to keep my voice as even as possible, but I could hear the quiver in it as I spoke. "I- I know you have an early flight in the morning and I'm sure you want to spend some time with Esme and Carlisle before you go back."

The death grip on my composure was slipping and I had to stop to catch my breath. I could feel the sob building and I couldn't break down like that again, not while Edward was here. I kept my back to him and tried to give him an easy out without needing to find an excuse himself for leaving now.

I braced myself for what I knew was coming. I tried to take a few steps further away from him, but before I could take two steps I felt his arms wrap around my waist and suddenly I was pressed into the hard lines of his chest. My knees buckled at the current that shot through me at the feel of his body against mine.

"Isabella," he growled in my ear and I felt the fire rush through my veins at the sound of his voice so rough with emotion. "Don't run from me again, please."

His normally smooth as silk cadence was low and thick as he continued to whisper to me and I nodded my understanding.

"Woman, there is nowhere I would rather be, do you not realize that?" He kissed the area behind my ear. "I would love nothing more than to spend tonight, as well as every other night for the rest of my life, nowhere but right here with you wrapped in my arms. Bella, do not doubt me on that, please. Right here," he tightened his arms around my waist and I felt the feather light kiss as he ghosted his lips down my neck across my shoulder then followed the same trail back to my neck with his tongue. He tasted my skin and the fire in my body became almost unbearable as I melted into his touch.

"I only want to be here, Bella, with you, holding you." Edward bit down lightly at the nape of my neck and I could not stop the low moan that escaped my lips. "I have to go back tomorrow. I don't want to, but I have to go so I can close that chapter of my life," he murmured into my skin. "I need to do that so I can come back here, to you. Then we can move on with our future, together. I wish you could see that, baby. This is all I want; just you, me, and whatever that brings for us."

He grazed his lips back up the curve of my neck to the shell of my ear where he took it between his teeth, nipping and teasing the flesh there.

I felt dizzy at the sensations he was eliciting with his touch and the words he whispered to my heart.

"God, Edward," I moaned as I leaned back further into him, bringing one arm up behind my head to wrap around his neck while the other hand was on top of his where they rested on my abdomen.

"Baby, I'm staying here tonight. I'm going to hold you in my arms all night long, because I need that as much as you do. I need to know how that feels again and I want to take that feeling with me. I need that, Bella; I need to hold onto it until I have you in my arms again. So, if you don't mind, I'd really like to go to bed now."

He kissed down my neck once again, nipping lightly as he made his way back to my shoulder and collarbone skimming back up my shoulder with his nose and inhaling deeply. Edward began slowly sliding his hands down my abdomen until he curled his long fingers over my hips and pulled my body more fully into his own. I whimpered as I felt his arousal press against my back, completely lost in the feelings of this moment. I took a deep breath as I felt one of Edward's hands begin its ascent up my ribs as the other slid low across my abdomen. His thumb brushed along the underside of my breast as he ran his hand over my torso. I bit my lower lip, trying to hold back the moan of pleasure bubbling in my chest.

"Edward," I breathed, fighting with myself to gain control over this situation.

"Mhm…." was his response as he nuzzled my hair with his nose and kissed along the side of my jaw.

"Oh….God, Edward, we….we need to stop," the words were stilted and breathy as I tried to gain some semblance of composure.

I wanted him. God, I wanted him, but if we did this tonight it really would only make things harder tomorrow. And watching him walk away was going to be hard enough. I pulled away from his embrace and heard him groan in protest.

"I'm sorry, I just…"

"No, baby, it's okay. I know and you're right," Edward leaned in to place a gentle kiss against my forehead and took a deep breath as I placed my hands upon his chest. We stood just like that for a long moment as we both tried to calm down.

I pulled back and smiled at him then took his hand to lead him down the hall toward my bedroom. I turned and looked into his beautiful green eyes as we stepped inside my bedroom.

I could see into his very soul. As I stared at this man who had captured my heart and broke it just as completely so many years ago, I realized he felt the same fears and pain I did about where we were going with this. It was at that moment I saw that this separation was going to be hell for him as well; it wasn't just my pain this was creating, I saw it there in Edward's eyes, too. For the first time, he was hurting as much as I was. The knowledge he would be leaving tomorrow and it would be weeks before we were back here together was killing him.

"Edward," his name escaped my lips on a sob as I saw my own fears and pain reflected back to me in his eyes.

"Shhh," Edward cooed as he wrapped me in his arms again.

Edward tried to soothe me, but it only made me cry harder, knowing that he wanted to alleviate my fears, my pain. He saw it. He recognized the moment I realized how much leaving was causing him pain. Though he was hurting as much as I, he was comforting me yet again.

As we stood there wrapped in each other's arms I began to feel something I had not felt before. I felt a glimmer of hope. It was a feeling of hope that we really could make things work this time. That he would come back to me and we could build something together, something more, something bigger than what we ever experienced before. I kissed the center of his chest and tightened my arms around his waist.

I pulled back slightly from him and smiled with watery eyes. He smiled back at me and I saw that his eyes seemed to shine with what could only be unshed tears. I stood on tip toe to kiss his lips quickly, chastely, before I removed myself completely from his arms and turned to rummage through my dresser.

"I know I put those things in here……shit….where are those……AH!"

I heard Edward walking further into my room and the bed creaked as he sat down on the mattress. I turned back to him with a smile on my face as I crossed the room to hand him a pair of navy sleep pants.

My smile faded as I took in the look on his face and noticed he didn't take them from me.

His eyes flashed as he glanced from the pants to my eyes several times. I was confused about what could have him on edge, almost angry, so suddenly.

"Bella, whose pants are those?" Edward's voice was sharp.

I was taken aback for a moment and my mouth dropped open at his change in demeanor, until it dawned on me that he thought the pants were Tyler's, or possibly Seth's.

"Oh my God, Edward, these are Charlie's. You really didn't think I would give you something of Tyler's to wear, did you?" I could tell from the look on his face that was exactly what he thought. He dropped his head in his hands as he leaned forward to prop his arms on his knees. He was embarrassed by making a totally understandable assumption.

"Honey, I don't even have any of his things in this house anymore. I wore these home a couple of weeks ago, right after momma and daddy came back in town, because she forced me to spend the night at the house with them and I didn't have any clothes over there. And before you go getting it in your head, I don't have anything like that of Seth's in here, either."

I wanted to put that fire out before it even had the chance to get started. That was one thing we surely did not need to deal with tonight.

Edward's jealousy over the friendship I had with Seth was something we would have to work on, but not now. Tonight was only about us and our last night together for quite some time.

He didn't say anything but looked up at me with a look I couldn't quite understand and I placed the pants on the bed beside him before grabbing my own pajamas. Edward, always the gentlemen, let me have the bathroom first to change and run through my nightly before bed routine.

He caught me in a hug as I stepped out of the bathroom, whispering, "I'm sorry about before. I made an assumption. I shouldn't have done that."

"Edward, it's okay. It would be only natural to think that I would still have some of Tyler's things here, but I don't. Honestly, even if I did I wouldn't have offered them to you. That's just….wrong."

He laughed lightly and hugged me tighter to him, kissing the top of my head before he released me and walked into the bathroom to change.

"Hey, Edward, I put a new toothbrush out on the counter for you," I called to him as I placed my hand on the door and leaned my cheek against the smooth wood.

"Got it, thanks," his muffled voice came to me through the closed door.

I walked over to the bed and removed the mountain of decorative pillows that covered it. I stifled a groan as I thought of all the times Tyler fussed about the amount of decoration I put on our bed.

Thank God I had done away with the bed we shared, the one he desecrated with that she devil.

I slept on the floor for a week after I found them wrapped up in one another in _our _bed. Jasper was the only one that knew how crazy I went with destroying that reminder of my stupidity. He had been kind enough to keep the fact he came over and helped me break it down, carry it out to the back yard, and set the damn thing on fire, sheets and all, a secret between the two of us. I never wanted to see that bed again, much less sleep in it.

I knew at the time I couldn't tell Emmett because he would have hunted Tyler down and beat the shit out of him. Though I wanted nothing more than to see Tyler a bloody mess on the floor, he really wasn't worth my brother winding up in jail over it, just as I didn't want Edward to get his hands on him at the Grey Moss. A shiver ran through me at the thought of Tyler groping me that night. The things he said to me made me sick.

My stomach tightened at the thoughts of running into him and Tanya again in Las Vegas. Emmett and Jasper were both going to be there. I wasn't worried so much about Tyler attacking me again, but there was something in Tanya's voice that had me suspicious.

The way she reminded me they would be in Vegas as well had the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end. I didn't have any more time to think about why that would be as I heard the bathroom door open and I looked up to see Edward standing in the doorway.

How was it possible for this man to be real? For him to be real and standing there, looking like _that,_ in my bedroom?

Even in the dimmed light, Edward's beauty was obvious. He truly was too pretty to be a man, but oh he was certainly a man.

My eyes hungrily drank in the broad expanse of his shoulders then down over his sculpted chest. The tattoo there caught my attention briefly and, though I hadn't ever felt they were all that appealing, somehow the one he sported made my mouth water.

The cotton pants I gave him were slung low on his hips and the band of his boxers peeked out ever so slightly. The muscles of his abdomen clenched as I watched him run a hand through his messy hair in a gesture that was so familiar, and I had to smile at the nervous expression that flitted across his face.

"You ready for bed," I asked in a trembling voice, barely above a whisper.

"Um….yeah," he answered as he ran his hand through his hair again but smiled that sexy little crooked smile I loved so much.

I climbed into bed as Edward turned off the light in the bathroom and crossed to the empty side of the bed. There was a small lamp on my dresser providing minimal light in the room. I kept it on for a myriad of reasons, mainly because I really hated the dark. Tyler always hated sleeping with a light on in the room and wouldn't let me keep it on.

"Does the lamp bother you?" I asked as Edward slid under the sheets.

"No, its fine," he answered in a low voice and turned to face me on the pillow next to mine with one arm folded under his head.

Edward reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and lightly stroked my cheek with his fingertips before running his hand down my neck and pulling my face toward him, pressing his lips to mine in a slow, tender kiss.

"God, Bella," his groaned breaking the kiss. "How am I going to get on that plane tomorrow?" Edward asked in a voice that held so much emotion it broke my heart, his desperation matched my own for what tomorrow would bring. It took everything in me to hold back the sob that threatened to burst out of me at the sadness in his voice. He pressed his forehead to mine with his eyes closed, not releasing his hold on me. It was tearing him up that he couldn't stay, not right now. The realization that he needed me to be strong for him now washed over me.

My heart was breaking for both of us. Edward wanted to stay with me. It was plainly etched on his face and I heard it in his voice.

The last couple of weeks Edward tried his best to show me how strong he could be for me, how much he wanted me, wanted _us_. He held me together and wouldn't let me throw away our chance at having a future together again when I freaked out over Rosalie's pregnancy.

Edward had done so many small things to prove to me he meant what he said, and tonight I needed to show him that I was here for him too. I knew I needed to suck it up and not let my own fears and pain overshadow everything we had began to build together.

Right now I needed to trust that Edward loved me and he wasn't leaving forever this time. He was coming home; he was coming back to me.

"Edward," I spoke in a hushed tone against his lips. "It's going to be torture for both of us while you're gone, but it's only for a few weeks, right?"

Edward's eyes shot open and they flashed so many emotions that it almost took my breath away with the intensity.

He slowly nodded his head but didn't speak.

"Well, as hard as those weeks are going to be, it's not as if we won't talk to one another," I took a deep breath, trying to garner all my strength and keep my voice from cracking. I needed to say these things as much as he needed to hear them. "We have cell phones and email, and I've figured out that Skype thing so we can even see each other. I mean, it's not the same as having you here with me," I couldn't help myself and I leaned in to kiss his lips gently before finishing, "but it's better than nothing, right?"  
Edward didn't respond, he just continued to stare at me with a look on his face that was unreadable.

The longer he stared without saying anything the more uncomfortable I became and the confidence I felt only a moment ago began to slip away. I felt the tears begin to burn in my eyes as I thought maybe I had misread his intentions after all and I dropped my gaze from his.

"No," he growled as I tried to slip out of his hand.

I snapped my eyes back to his and I saw so much there it was searing my heart with all that he was showing me.

"What?" I asked weakly.

"No, don't……. don't pull away from me, Bella. I…..oh God, please don't pull away from me," he paused to take a shuddering breath. "I need you. I need you to want this as much as I do. Baby, I needed so much to hear you say that you wanted to do whatever we could to keep in touch, to keep a connection between us while I'm gone. It's not the same as this, as having you in my arms, but if it's the only way I can hear your voice and see your face, then I'll take it. Whatever I have to do, I need you so much, Bella." Edward's voice was thick and rough when he finished.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and drew him into my body, pressing his head to my chest. I don't remember ever hearing him sound or look so vulnerable. Even the night before Alice's wedding when he confessed his love he didn't look like this.

I knew I had done the right thing in taking this path and making the first move to be strong for him. Though I was scared of what the next few weeks would bring, for the first time I felt sure that Edward was committed to us and that we were both willing to do whatever it took to keep our communication open.

I drifted off to sleep with Edward's head pressed to my chest, my arms around his shoulders and his wrapped tightly around my waist.

~*~

I awoke from the most delicious dream that Edward had spent the night with me, that I had spent the entire night wrapped in the warmth of his arms, fresh in my mind. I smiled to myself at the wonderful feeling that maybe someday before long it wouldn't be a dream and snuggled back into the warm bed.

My eyes snapped open when I heard a groan and I realized that I wasn't alone in my bed.

"Oh My God," I whispered, looking up from where I lay with my head on his bare chest at Edward's beautiful face relaxed in sleep.

Last night hadn't been a dream.

Edward really was here, in my bed, next to me.

"Oh My God," I repeated and my hand shot up to cover my mouth as I took in the way we were holding one another.

Edward lay on his back with one arm behind his head, my arm around his waist and right leg tangled in both of his. Edward's right arm was wrapped tightly around my waist and held me to his side.

"What's wrong, darlin'?" Edward questioned in a voice rough with sleep and pulled me tighter to him as he rolled onto his side facing me and wrapped both arms around my body.

"Oh My God," I said again, still unable to believe that Edward had actually spent the night with me and that I hadn't dreamt it.

We had slept next to one another, all night, holding one another.

I also obviously hadn't dreamt the conversation we had before going to sleep.

"Oh," I gasped.

"Baby, I don't know what you're trying to do, but honestly we could sleep for just a little longer, ya know. It's not even daylight yet. Now unless you have ideas of taking things a little further in other areas, I'd really like to get some more sleep," he teased as he nuzzled his head into me further and I couldn't contain the moan that rolled out of me with the feel of his stubbly face on the skin of my chest exposed by the tank top I was wearing.

"Bella, you really do not need to be making noises like that if you don't want me to have my way with you this morning," he said in a much more serious voice.

I opened my eyes to see him wide awake and staring at me with a very obvious look of desire on his face.

"I….I'm sorry, I didn't mean…..I," I stammered, completely overwhelmed with need for him but knowing that this wasn't the time we needed to take that step.

Though my body was screaming for his, I didn't really think that having sex in a desperate need to feel more connected before he left for weeks would solve any of our issues, and, if anything, as Edward had said only days ago it would complicate things, adding a reason for doubt.

And I didn't want to give either of us any reason to doubt what we were feeling for one another. I knew it was more than a physical need, but we were at a pivotal moment in whatever this was that we were doing. Taking things further and then watching him walk away from me just might crack the newly discovered confidence I felt.

"I-I'm going to get a shower, Edward. And then we can get some breakfast on the way to the airport, okay?"

"What?" he questioned and quirked an eyebrow.

"I'm taking you to the airport, I want to take you and well, I think I should be the one to take you. If you don't mind that is …… or you think your parents won't mind terribly."

I wasn't sure if he wanted me to take him to the airport. He had planned for Carlisle and Esme to drop him off but that was before…..

"Why would you even ask that? Of course I would like you to take me to the airport." Edward gave me a look as though I had lost my mind with that line of questioning.

"Well I…..I know you planned for your parents to take you, so I didn't-." Edward cut me off before I could finish my sentence.

"Bella, seriously? Do you think that when they find out you _want _to take me to the airport that Esme is going to pitch a fit and say you can't?" he looked at me incredulously. "Do you know my mother at all?"

I snickered because Edward was right, Esme was as bad as Renee about wanting the two of us back together, even if they tried not to interfere _too much_.

I kissed him quickly and hopped out of the bed. I giggled and dodged Edward's attempt to pull me back to bed.

"You better cut that out, mister, unless you plan on missing your flight, not that I'm objecting to that but still," I warned as I grabbed a pair of jeans, underwear and a T-shirt from my dresser before I crossed to the bathroom.

"Mmm," Edward hummed as he snuggled his head into my pillow. "I wish I could, darlin'."

"I know you do," was my whispered response as I closed the door and flipped the nozzle to the hottest setting possible.

Half an hour later I was dressed, dried and pouring a second cup of coffee as Edward came down the hallway fresh from the shower.

"How's your arm?" Edward asked as he kissed my cheek and took the coffee cup I offered. "Mmmm, thank you."

"It's fine, still stings a little, but it's okay. And you're welcome. Have you got everything?"

"Yep, think so. I'll change into fresh clothes when I get to the house. I'm not really taking anything on the plane with me outside of my laptop and a few small things. All my stuff is in my apartment anyway and I'll be packing it all up so there's no reason to pack up the stuff that's already here just to send back again." Edward hummed again as he took another sip of his coffee.

I could get used to this sight in the mornings - Edward here in my house, fresh from a shower and drinking coffee with me. I smiled up at him at how right that image felt flooded my body.

"What are you smiling about?" he questioned as he looked at me with a smile mirroring my own.

"I'm just looking forward to when you get back and trying really hard not to think about the time between right now and when that happens," I replied.

Edward smiled at me, set his mug down on the counter and pulled me into his embrace. He bent, slowly bringing his lips down to meet mine. My arms were instantly around his neck, running my hands into his thick hair.

I smiled against his lips as I heard the groan escape him as I closed my fingers around his silky strands. I parted my lips, opening to him, and my knees buckled when I felt the warm satin of his tongue begin to explore my mouth as Edward deepened the kiss. His strong arms around me tightened and crushed me to his body as his hands began to roam over my back and down, running into the back pocket of my jeans where he pressed me even closer to his very obvious arousal.

I moaned knowing what this kiss was doing to him and the thought that it was something similar to how crazy it was driving me at the moment.

"Oh wow," I breathed, breaking the kiss.

Edward smirked and kissed me chastely once more before taking a deep breath.

"We really need to get going."

I followed Edward to his parent's house so he could leave Carlisle's car there and say his goodbyes since I would be taking him to the airport instead.

An hour later we were pulling into San Antonio International Airport.

We made it to the line for security about a half hour before Edward's flight was scheduled to leave. I wouldn't be allowed any further so this is where we had to say……

I couldn't even think the word. It wasn't really goodbye, right? It was more like….. 'I'll see you later.' Wasn't it? I felt so much more confident at home this morning, but now that the moment was upon us my body was vibrating with the anxiety of letting Edward go and watching him walk away, _again._

Edward turned toward me, dropping his bag on the floor and wrapping me in a tight embrace. My arms instinctively were around his waist and my hands clenched in the back of his shirt. I buried my face in his chest and sucked in deep breaths, doing my best to hold back the tears. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to make this more difficult for Edward than it was but I was barely holding on. And when I felt him press his lips in a kiss to the top of my head, I felt the tears slip from the corner of my eyes. Edward realized I was crying because my tears immediately soaked through the thin fabric of his T-shirt.

"Bella," he whispered in a broken voice.

"Please, don't say it," I choked out.

I couldn't hear that word and I knew that I would never hold it together.

"Bella, love, I…" his words trailed off as he became overwhelmed with the emotions of our last moments together. And even though we both knew that it was only for a short time, the pain was no less intense.

"Edward, I wanted to be strong," I sniffed and tried my best to regain my composure. "I didn't want to make it harder on you to get on that plane and I'm sorry. But please don't say goodbye, okay. I know that if we say that it doesn't mean forever, but I just…..I just can't hear you say that to me." My voice was shaking and thick with the tears I swallowed.

Edward pulled back just enough to look into my eyes and I watched a single tear slide down his cheek before he pressed his lips to mine.

"I'm not going to say goodbye, because that's not what this is," he kissed both of my cheeks.

"I'll call you as soon as I'm in Atlanta, and then when I get to my apartment I can log into Skype. Will that be okay? Can you do that?"

I nodded my head because I didn't think my voice would cooperate at the moment.

Edward hugged me to him one more time and kissed me with everything he was feeling radiating through me in his touch before he took a step back. I wrapped my arms around my abdomen and tried to hold myself together as I watched him bend to pick up his bag. He looked into my eyes for a long moment before he turned and made his way through the security check.

* * *

**A/N: So I hope you enjoyed!! Hit the little button below and leave me some love.**

**So for those who haven't heard about the Fandom Gives Back check out the announcement below:**

**The Twilight Fandom Gives Back**

**Did you know that every year over 200,000 children worldwide are diagnosed with a form of childhood cancer? We cannot ignore this shocking statistic impacting the youth of the world, and we certainly hope that you won't either. We need your help.**

**Starting Nov. 15th, through Nov. 20th, you will have the opportunity to help in the fight against childhood cancer. We haven't set a monetary goal because we're firm in the belief that no matter what we set, you will surpass it.**

**Please check out this blog for more information: www(dot)thefandomgivesback(dot)blogspot(dot)com or go to www(dot)alexslemonade(dot)org/stands/19842 to donate. **

**And a very special thanks to lolashoes, ninapolitan and tby789 for putting this together.**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: **

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

**First thanks to my awesomesauce beta Jessica1971. She worked her magic and makes me look like I know what I'm doing (which I don't, lol) **

**Thanks to all of you who have PM'd me with words of love and encouragement while I've been dealing with RL. Thank you all so much for your thoughts, prayers and patience in waiting for this chapter. **

**Music for the chapter: Here without you by 3 doors down,**

* * *

Chapter 18

Here without you….

EPOV

Walking away from Bella today was quite possibly the hardest thing I have done in my life. My heart broke as I stepped back and released my hold on Bella.

There was no way the horrible pressure in my chest was at all a normal feeling and it threatened to crush me. I ran a hand through my hair, squeezing my eyes closed as I tried to get a grip on the emotions coursing through my body.

I took my place in the security line without looking back at Bella.

If I saw her face, if I looked into those brown eyes and saw the tears I knew would be there, I wouldn't be able to leave; and as much as I wanted to stay, I couldn't.

I have to go back. I have to close the part of my life that awaits me in Georgia before I can come home and continue what Bella and I have started.

Slumping in my first class seat, I dug the heels of both hands into my eyes and fought with the burning behind my lids.

_Dammit! Get a hold of yourself! _I chastised myself.

_Fuck! _

I felt as though there was a huge hole in the center of my chest where my heart was supposed to reside.

I grabbed my blackberry just before the flight attendants began their routine on what to do in case the plane crashes and we miraculously survive. I didn't need to hear that shit at any time, and today the PSA movie along with the hand gestures of the tiny little woman who was way too fucking friendly was just pissing me off.

With the state of my present mood, it was only aggravating me to wait another second to get in the air and to Atlanta. The longer we sat here the more likely it became that I was going to walk my ass off the plane and straight into a cab heading back home.

I scrolled to Bella's number and quickly typed out a message to her.

I left her not an hour before, but I wanted her to know I was thinking about her.

_I miss you already – E_

My phone buzzed almost immediately.

_I miss you, too – B_

I smiled like a fool as I read her message and typed out a response.

_Why are you texting when I know you're driving? –E_

I stifled a laugh when her response came only seconds later.

_Why r u texting me when u know I'm driving? – B_

And that was one of the reason's I loved this woman. She didn't take any shit from me - at all.

_Stop texting & driving. – E_

_Stop texting me while I'm driving-B_

_I love you – E_

Her answer came a little slower this time, and just as I was becoming concerned that she hadn't replied, my phone buzzed.

_I know, call me when u land. 3 – B_

I smiled and slipped the phone back in my bag just as the little blonde attendant headed my way.

I turned to look out the window and closed my eyes as the plane began to accelerate for takeoff.

Once we were in the air I tried to relax into my seat and allow the images from the past couple of weeks to flash through my mind.

I remembered the way Bella looked the first time I kissed her; the raw fear I saw flashing through her eyes still made me catch my breath at its' intensity, even in the memory.

The memory of Bella finding out about Rosalie's pregnancy, yhinking about how she tried to end things between us before we even had a chance to really get started, had my heart rate accelerating. My lungs constricted, making it difficult to breathe, at the very real possibility of what could have happened that day - knowing that she could have pushed me away, that Bella could have refused my attempts to be there for her as she fell apart.

It physically hurt to think of what I could have lost, _again._

I felt a current run through me as the memory of how Bella responded to my touch overtook me. Stopping before things moved beyond a point where I was unable to do so was near impossible. It took everything in me to pull back and think straight, knowing that it would be a mistake to have sex with her at that point. God, I wanted her so much.

But I knew if we took that step it would only give her more reason to doubt me and what we were doing. So I stopped.

I stifled a groan and readjusted myself as my body responded to the memory of Bella's soft skin under my fingertips. The little sounds she made as she moved under me when we were lying on that blanket by the river had me breathing hard and my heart racing.

The thoughts of lying in Bella's bed, holding her in my arms, of waking next to her this morning began flooding my mind. I hadn't meant for Bella to hear me sound so desperate. I didn't want to sound so vulnerable, but the reality that I would be leaving her in a few short hours overwhelmed me at that moment. The war I had to wage against the emotions of knowing I had to leave and wanting to do nothing but stay exactly where I was wrapped in her arms was tearing me up inside.

Something changed in Bella when she heard what I said, when she heard the fear and pain that I knew was dripping from the words I murmured. She began comforting me; she seemed to have some type of epiphany. I could almost feel her tiny arms wrapped around my body, the feel of her breast pressed against my face, and hear the soft rhythm of her heart as we slept. I knew that right there in her arms is where I needed to be, and falling asleep with her holding me was truly my home.

I started as I felt an unfamiliar touch on my shoulder and opened one eye to see not the brown eyes I was dreaming of but blue ones looking back at me. The hand touching me did not belong to the woman I needed and the smile she was wearing was not the one that lit up my world.

"Sorry," the soft voice of the overly friendly flight attendant whispered. "I hated to wake you, but we're going to be landing soon." She smiled again.

I saw her trying to discreetly check my left hand. I'm sure she was looking for a wedding band and her smile widened when she found nothing.

I rolled my eyes at the fact she thought she was being covert when it was completely the opposite.

"Thanks," I muttered without returning her smile.

I wasn't about to encourage her in any way, but I didn't want to be rude either.

I clicked the seat belt, shaking my head to clear it of the remnants of my dream.

As the plane touched down and taxied to the terminal, the longing to just stay right where I was and return to Texas and my Bella was quite nearly more than I could control.

Reluctantly, I stood and stepped into the aisle as the plane my bag, I made my way off the plane behind the other passengers.

Luckily I had nothing more than my carry-on laptop bag and I didn't need to go to baggage claim.

I dialed Bella's number as I walked through the sliding doors of Hartsfield-Jackson airport and headed for the long term parking deck.

I needed to hear her voice and I didn't care if that confirmed that I was completely whipped. I really couldn't find it anywhere in me to give a damn.

"Edward," Bella sighed.

"Hey, darlin'," I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

"So you're in Atlanta? Your flight was okay?" she questioned, trying to sound cheerful.

"Yeah, baby, I'm just walking to my car. What are you doing?" I pulled my keys out of my pocket, pressing the button to release the trunk hatch and placing my bag in the back.

Sliding into the seat, I started the engine with a smile as I thought about Bella in my dream and the images flashed through my mind.

"I'm looking over some papers at the moment. Lining up some things for next spring's breeding season. Oh, I got a call from Investigator Brooks on the way home earlier."

"Really? Uh, was that a good call? Did he have some good news?" I couldn't tell from her tone what the tenor of that conversation had been.

"Well, yes and no, I guess," the frustration was evident in her voice now.

I groaned as I made my way onto the I-85 connector and into downtown Atlanta traffic and came to a complete standstill.

"Shit!" I growled. "I will be so glad not to have to drive in Goddamn Atlanta traffic anymore," I grumbled under my breath.

I heard Bella giggle.

"Um…has anyone ever brought to your attention that you might have an issue with road rage, Mr. Cullen?"

"Very funny, Miss Swan," I laughed. "Yes, it might have been brought up once or twice."

Bella laughed again. I loved the sound of her laugh. The sound of my Bella happy was like sweet music that soothed my soul.

It was a shock to me how much letting her know how hard this was going to be for me and that I needed her as much or more than she needed me changed things between us.

"So, darlin', you gonna tell me what Brooks had to say, or are you just gonna keep giving me shit about my less than stellar attitude with driving in traffic," I teased, finally catching a break in the traffic and accelerating to a decent speed.

I still couldn't remove the shit eating grin from my face at being able to be like this with Bella.

"Oh," she gasped. "Yeah, he said that the meeting with James went well. They questioned him about the discrepancies between the reports he gave us and the ones that you got from the clinic. And he said that James was completely shocked to hear that Lacy's death was related to a poisoning. He said James was questioned about the supplement."

I could almost hear Bella rolling her eyes. The level of frustration and stress she had dealt with over the last several weeks had distracted her from concentrating on her training schedule like she wanted. I knew that Bella just wanted to put all this behind her.

"So what did James have to say?" I questioned, knowing that he would deny everything.

Bella snorted and I swallowed the laugh that almost escaped as I imagined the way she would purse her lips and roll her eyes as she made that noise when she was angry or aggravated.

"Yeah, did you really expect anything different than 'I have no idea how that could have happened'." Bella mocked James' voice. "Of course he had no idea what was going on or what they were talking about. James' only explanation on the reports was that what he gave us was the only copy he was provided. And the poison in the supplement……UGH! I swear, Edward, all this just pisses me off to no end."

"I'm going to hazard a guess that James had no idea how that could have happened either."

It wasn't hard to figure that out by her tone and the fact that she was becoming angrier the longer we discussed James' claim of ignorance. Unless he was just a complete incompetent, he had to have some knowledge of the circumstances that led to Lacy's death.

"You know it," Bella grumbled. "He said he had no idea how that substance would get into the supplement he sent out to us," she snorted again in disbelief.

Obviously Bella was beginning to see some of the holes in what James' story was on this situation.

"So, what's their next step if he's claiming complete ignorance on the whole thing?" I had a gut feeling this was a much deeper issue than even James' possible involvement.

I didn't know why, but something just told me there was much more to this than what it seemed to be on the surface. I just hoped that the investigator was tenacious enough to continue digging deeper.

Bella continued to explain that James had assured the authorities he would cooperate fully in their investigation. Investigator Brooks had informed Bella he would be interviewing anyone who had any type of contact with the ranch or Lacy in the time frame from when she foaled until the time that she died. That meant all of James' employees at the clinic as well as those working on the ranch.

This had Bella almost beside herself with concern for her men. Many of the guys working on her ranch were there from the time that Charlie was in charge. Bella had grown up with those men and played with their children. They were family.

"Edward, you don't think…..you don't think that one of my guys had anything to do with Lacy's death…" I could hear the trepidation laced through her voice. She didn't want to believe that any of the men she held so dear could do something such as this.

"No, Bella, I don't," I assured her and heard an audible sigh of relief.

I really couldn't see any of the ranch employees harming one of the animals or betraying Emmett or Bella in that way.

Our conversation switched to talk of Vegas. The event was quickly coming up and Bella was becoming more nervous about competing. I knew Bella was ready and she had worked so hard to get Raven and Tig exactly where she wanted them.

"Baby, you're going to do great. You'll have those people eating outta the palm of your hand," I chuckled and tried to encourage her.

Bella snorted, "Yeah, whatever. You're just trying to make me feel better so that doesn't count, but thank you."

I could hear the smile in her voice and it brought a smile to my face. I felt a tug in the pit of my stomach at the longing to be near her, my fingers itched to touch her and to wrap my arms around her. The need to just bury myself in her body and never come up for air was overwhelming.

"What's the matter, darlin'?" I asked, instantly concerned as I heard Bella's soft whimper.

"I…I just miss you, Edward," her voice was quiet and I could hear the strain to keep it even.

"God, Bella, I miss you, too."

With the longing so evident in her voice matching my own, the tentative hold I had on my composure slipped just a little more and I had to clear my throat before I spoke again.

"Uh…..baby, it's just a few weeks. I'll be home before you get back from Vegas, so it's not that long, right?"

I'm not sure which of us I was trying to comfort more, Bella or me; regardless, it didn't help the ache.

"I know," she whispered.

"And as soon as I get to my apartment and I get set up, we can do Skype. I need to see those beautiful eyes of yours, darlin."

Bella giggled, "Yep, see there you go trying to sweet talk me again. Really, Edward, you pour it on pretty thick sometimes, don't you?" Our conversation was instantly a little lighter as she teased me.

"There's my girl," I laughed.

Bella sighed before saying, "I have to go, Edward. I need to get started on a session with Raven and I think I'm gonna work with Maverick a little today, too. He's doing really well with what I've started so far, just ground work, ya know."

I groaned at the thought that we would have to hang up and it would be a few hours before I could talk with her again.

"Okay, baby. I'll call you later when I have everything set up, is that okay?" I questioned.

"You better," she demanded with a laugh and I chuckled in response.

"Yes, ma'am…..I love you, darlin."

There was a pause and I could hear Bella's breathing had picked up.

"I know you do, Edward. I……" my heart slammed against my ribs at the thoughts of what her next words could be. "I'll talk to you later tonight."

I understood Bella was more confident with what was going on between us. I also knew she couldn't say the words just yet.

Though I understood it, I couldn't help feel a little disappointment when she didn't return my declaration. It was only a matter of time, I knew that and I could be patient.

Ending the call, I tossed my blackberry in the passenger seat. I let the images of the past couple of weeks with my Bella flood my mind and an easy smile spread across my face.

~*~

BPOV

"Ugh…." Sighing, I ended the call and held the phone to my chest as I closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and felt a tear leak out of the corner of my eye.

_How am I going to make it through the next couple of weeks? _

My heart was breaking and I knew that Edward felt the same way. In some ways that made it even harder, the knowledge that Edward was struggling with this as well caused me physical pain.

I started when I felt a hand touch my arm and a quiet voice calling to me.

"Hey baby girl."

I opened my eyes to see Rosalie staring back at me with concern all over her face.

I smiled up at Rosalie and wiped the corners of my eyes, slightly embarrassed to be crying over a phone call. I knew this was going to be hard but this was torture and Edward only left this morning.

"I'm guessing that was Edward on the phone?" Rose questioned with a hesitant smile and leaned against the corner of my desk.

"Yes," I sniffed but my smile widened. "He's on his way to his apartment."

"You okay?" Rosalie asked with concern evident in her voice.

I felt a few more tears roll down my cheeks as I tried to control my emotions. These emotions were different. This was not the paralyzing fear I felt before, it was purely an ache for Edward. I wanted him here; I needed him by my side.

Rosalie patted my hand and handed me a tissue. She didn't say anything, just patiently waited for me to get control of my emotions after Edward's phone call.

"It's just really hard, Rose," I looked up at her with tears brimming in my eyes. "I mean, we had a talk, he stayed with me last night."

Rosalie sucked in a breath and her eyes went wide.

"Did you…..did…" Rosalie was never one to be at a loss for words, but the fact that Edward and I spent the night together seemed to throw her for a loop.

I shook my head and blew my nose.

"No, Rose. We didn't 'sleep' together. He just stayed with me and we slept," I emphasized the last word so she would know what I meant by Edward spending the night.

"Oh," was her whispered response. "And that was…."

I snorted a laugh at the look on her face.

"Yeah, Rose, it was…...the right thing. Edward and I felt that sleeping together now wouldn't be a good idea. It just felt like if we took that step now….. Edward felt I would just doubt him more if he slept with me and then left the very next day."

"And how do you feel about that?" Rose asked quietly, shifting her position to sit fully on the desk, swinging her legs like a school girl.

I closed my eyes and tried to gather my thoughts on how I really felt now that Edward was so far away.

"I don't know, Rose. I mean….. yeah, at the time it felt like the right thing to do, ya know? As hard as it was to resist him," Rose snorted and I smiled. "It was _really_ hard to resist him."

"Yeah, I can imagine. After watching you two at his party this past weekend I really can't believe you were able to do that," Rose shook her head teasingly. "I'm surprised you didn't jump one another during the football game. So uh….yeah, I gotta tell ya, you're a better woman than me."

I laughed and Rosalie smirked.

"Well, restraint in that department hasn't ever been a strong point for you or Em, so that's not really saying a whole lot," I teased and Rosalie laughed. "But as much as I would like to say different, Edward was right. Even though I know he's coming back." Rose quirked an eyebrow at me with a slightly disbelieving look on her face at my new outlook on Edward and the fact I was accepting his word.

I smiled and I realized that I truly knew in my heart that Edward and I were going to do everything we could to make it work this time. He knew what he wanted and he knew where he needed to be now.

The mistakes we had made in our pasts taught us lessons that neither of us could forget, we both carried the scars to prove what we had been through. Some of mine were visible to the naked eye, while there were others we shared that were hidden in the recesses of our hearts.

"Things are different now, Rose." I struggled with the right words to explain how I felt, to describe what happened last night as I held Edward in my bed. "I…I don't know how to……something changed between us last night. I saw how hard this was for Edward, how much he was struggling with leaving and how much it hurt him to do it."

When I looked at Rosalie, there was a smile pulling at her lips and her eyes sparkled with tears.

"I don't know….things just sort of….clicked?" it came out more as a question than I meant. "I….well there's a lot that we still need to talk about and work through, but things are different. I'm more… sure of him, of _us, _of what we're doing. I can't explain it, really. I just know that it's different this time. We're older. We've been through things that have changed us, both of us. Edward being gone for the next few weeks is going to be hard, but I know he's coming home this time, Rose. He's coming home to me."

I smiled as the words rolled around in my head and I knew in my heart they were true.

"Oh, Bella," Rose jumped off the desk and pulled me into a fierce hug. "I just…God Bella, that is so….I knew you two would figure it out."

Rosalie pulled back to look me in the eye before saying, "And if you didn't, I was planning on kicking some sense into both of you."

We both laughed at the very real possibility that Rosalie would carry out her threat.

Rosalie and I talked for a while longer, making arrangements to do some of the photos for the ads we would be running soon. Rosalie did all the photography for the ranch. She was incredibly talented and had begun doing shots for many of the ranches in the area.

We discussed the Fourth of July party at the ranch. Even though it was almost two weeks away, Emmett, Laurent and I would be leaving out the day after for Vegas, so we were making plans for the food, as well as the time and place we would meet the Cullens before the parade. Rosalie felt that the party might also be a good opportunity for some photos for the new advertisements.

It was a long standing tradition between our family and the Cullens that we go to the parade and fair together before coming back here for a barbecue which would also include the employees from both of our ranch's, along with their families.

The Fourth of July was a big deal around town. The town square would be shut down and vendors lined up along all the side streets selling everything from funnel cakes and corndogs to homemade arts and crafts.

After visiting all the booths, everyone makes their way to the fairgrounds where a huge carnival with every possible ride for kids big and small was available. This is where my giant bear of a brother usually embarrassed all of us with his antics. This year with Garrett old enough to enjoy some of the festivities, I could only imagine what a fool he would make of himself. Seriously, I love my brother, but he is more of a child than his son.

Laughing as Rose and I stepped out of the office into the hallway of the barn, I asked, "So, how embarrassing do you think Emmett will be this year?"

Rose snorted and shook her head.

"Good lord, Bella, I don't even want to know. I think I'll just keep a safe distance and watch the train wreck that is your brother."

I laughed knowing that she was exactly right. Emmett at the fair with Garrett would be exactly like a train wreck - horrifying to watch, yet unable to turn away. You just watch in astonished silence.

Rose and I said our goodbyes and she headed back toward the house.

The rest of the day passed slowly as I ran through my routines with Raven and Tig.

Tig had made great improvements over the last couple of weeks and I was pretty confident in how he would perform once we got to Vegas. It was Raven who I was pinning my hopes to, and the opportunity I had to break into the world of training cutting horse stock. If I was going to be able to begin advertising myself and the ranch as a top notch training facility, then I had to make good on the promise that Raven presented me. Raven had unparalleled ability and I wanted to make sure that was what came through.

My nerves were frayed around the edges even though I was confident that we had a great chance of doing exactly what he needed to do.

I finished up with Tig's routine, washed him down, and put him in the turn out paddock for the afternoon. Laurent or one of the others would put him in his stall later for feeding time. Making my way back through the barn and debating on whether I really felt up to working with Maverick today or not, my cell phone began vibrating in my pocket.

I smiled hoping that it was Edward calling to tell me that he had arrived at his apartment and was somewhat settled in.

My face fell slightly when I saw the ID wasn't his number.

"Hello?"

"Ms. Swan?" The voice was not one I recognized and my brow furrowed.

"Yes," I answered hesitantly.

"Hello, ma'am, I'm Ranger John Michaels. I received a call from Investigator Brooks earlier today about your case."

"Oh, yes sir, how can I help you?" I quickly answered.

"I'll be working with the prosecutor, ma'am. I just wanted to introduce myself and let you know that we'll do everything we can to prosecute this case to its fullest." The deep voice of the officer was reassuring.

"Thank you, Ranger, I truly appreciate that. It means a lot that this isn't just going to be swept under the rug."

"Oh no, ma'am, this type of abuse isn't taken lightly." Ranger Michaels was firm in the fact that this case would go to trial and would be taken as far as possible. Ranger Michaels filled me in on what would happen from this point on in the investigation and prosecution, if and when the case was brought to trial. He seemed so sure that they would find the person responsible and just knowing that they were taking this seriously made the frustration over the whole situation a little more bearable.

After that conversation, I just wasn't up to starting a whole new session of ground work with Maverick.

It had been an incredibly long day and I was literally mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted.

I hadn't received a call from Edward yet and was beginning to get a little worried that he was okay. He promised to call as soon as he got in and was settled. I knew he was just leaving the airport when I spoke with him earlier, but I had hoped to hear from him because he should have been to his apartment by now.

I walked out of the barn, checking my phone for at least the hundredth time to make sure I hadn't missed Edward's call. I made my way over to the equipment shed to let Laurent know I was heading home. I always liked to check in with him before I left just to make sure there wasn't anything that needed my attention.

A half hour later, I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket as I slipped the key in my door and turned the knob.

I didn't even check the ID as I was distracted, flipping through the mail in my hand.

"Hello," I said, not really paying attention.

"Hello, love." Edward's velvet voice floated over the line.

"Edward," I sighed as a smile spread across my face and I dropped the mail on the counter, completely forgotten.

"I'm sorry I didn't call before, baby. I started getting calls from the clinic as soon as I hung up with you earlier and they literally haven't stopped. I finally told them that they could wait 'til morning. There was nothing they needed that required my attention right now. They're driving me nuts, Bella." I could hear the aggravation in his voice.

"It's okay, Edward. I was starting to get a little worried that everything was okay, but it's fine. I'm just glad you're okay." I wanted him to know that I wasn't upset that he hadn't called me before now and that I knew he had a job that required a lot of his time. The reason he was there was to turn everything over to a new veterinarian so he could come back home to me, so I really couldn't, or shouldn't, complain.

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't call you like I told you I would. Really, I should have called you before-"

"Edward, really it's fine. I've been busy, too, so it's not a big deal, okay?" I cut off his rambling apology and laughed at the flustered state he had worked himself into.

I heard his soft chuckle and he released a heavy breath.

"I miss you, baby."

My heart rate was doing double time at the longing in his voice.

"I miss you, too. Today was a really long day. And knowing that you weren't going to be meeting me here this afternoon made it even longer." I felt horrible as soon as the words left my mouth. I didn't want to make him feel guilty for doing his job and for closing that part of his life.

"Edward, I'm sorry, that came out not at all the way I meant it. I don't want to make you feel bad for doing what you have to do to come home, okay?"

"I know, darlin'. I wish I could have been there just like last night. I would love nothing better than to wrap you in my arms and hold you again all night and wake with you lying next to me like this morning. Bella, that was the best birthday I have ever had. I never thanked you properly for such a nice dinner. And baby.....I can't really even explain how wonderful that was to feel you next to me this morning." I heard his gentle laugh before he continued. "Even if you did think you were dreaming when you woke up."

"Har har, very funny, Mr. Cullen," I teased and Edward only laughed harder. A slow smile spread across my face as I remembered what it was like to wake up wrapped in Edward's arms this morning. A low moan escaped my lips. The hard planes of his body pressed against the softer contours of mine was more than I could stand and my body ached for his touch.

I heard his sharp intake of breath and a low groan as my name escaped his lips.

"God, Bella...." There was no mistaking the desire in just those two words. "I can't wait to be back home with you, baby." The deep tenor of his voice made my heart slam against my chest and my breathing became shallow.

_God, how can he do that with just his voice?_

"Edward," I breathed.

"I plan on starting out many more days the way this one began, and I have no intentions of letting you get very far from me when I return. I want to wake with you pressed against me, Bella. I want to wake with you draped across me just as you were this morning so I can touch your beautiful body." Edward's voice had dropped with a sexy, husky roughness.

"Ungh....Edward....I...oh my God," I moaned as my knees gave and I fell backwards on the sofa.

Edward chuckled, a low deep rumble.

I knew how that sound felt when I was lying on his chest. I knew if he was here I would be able to feel the vibrations as they traveled through his chest and into my body, causing me to moan softly again.

My need for this man was quickly careening out of control. I knew, though we decided to not take this step fully before he left, there was something about Edward being half way across the country that had me rethinking my earlier assurances that we made the right decision.

We talked for a long while that night and that began our nightly ritual. He would call just as I was walking in the door at the end of the day. We would start out telling the other about our day. I kept him updated on the investigation and how the training was coming, as well as Maverick's progress.

Edward would fill me in on the vet taking over his research assignments. He was extremely impressed with the new doctor's abilities and knowledge of the things Edward and his team were working on. I hadn't realized just what Edward was giving up in his decision to move home but he was in charge of a really large reproductive research program, and turning that over to someone else was no small feat.

We would talk on the phone while I whipped up some dinner, but Edward was always picking up take out. I don't think the man ever cooked a meal.

Once he was back in his own apartment, our conversation would transfer to Skype. I could at least see his face then and look into his beautiful green eyes.

I loved the way they would sparkle when he teased me and then darken when something sexy would roll off his tongue.

It truly was torture. A delicious, sweet, sinful torture to be able to see him but not be able to touch him.

The next two weeks progressed pretty much the same every day. I would wake up at the crack of dawn, head out to the ranch and run my routines, then work with Maverick.

Edward would call as soon as he reached the clinic, we would talk for a bit, and then throughout the day we would send text messages back and forth.

They were usually only a few words but it was just a reminder that we were thinking about one another even though we couldn't be physically together right now. Sometimes the messages were hot and sexy, other times they were just sweet little words of love.

Edward always did have a way with words and that little talent only seemed to have improved with age.

Emmett and I met with the ranch hands the day after my phone call from Ranger Michaels and explained what was going to happen over the next several weeks. Emmett felt we needed to ensure they all understood it was a formality that the authorities had to go through and that neither of us in any way felt they had anything to do with what had happened.

I had a couple more conversations with Investigator Brooks about the progress of the investigation. He informed me that he interviewed all the employees at James' clinic except for Victoria. She was on vacation for the next week and he would be speaking with her as soon as she returned.

Even though the time away from Edward was hard, it passed as everything does and there was a rhythm to that time that was comforting. A few days prior to the Fourth of July, Edward began a count down in his texts on the number of days before he would be home again. He started sending pictures along with his texts of his apartment in different stages of disarray. I was never sure if he was doing that as a joke, just to be funny, or if he was trying to reassure me that he truly was packing up his life and moving back home.

I woke on the morning of the Fourth to the sound of my cell phone vibrating on the bedside table. Blindly reaching for the phone and hitting the button, I answered with sleep heavy in my voice, "Mm…hello."

"Good morning, darlin'." A smile immediately on my lips as Edward's voice washed over me.

"Good morning," I sighed, sleepily stretching my arms above my head as I cradled the phone on my shoulder.

"I just wanted to call to wish you a happy Fourth and tell you I love you." I could hear the smile in his voice and knew he would have that unbelievably sexy crooked grin upon his face.

"Mmm...that's a nice way to start the day." I smiled, rolling onto my side as I snuggled into my pillow, wishing it was Edward's chest.

"I'm glad I could start your day out on such a good note, darlin'. So what time are you meeting the clan?" Edward chuckled.

I snorted, "I have to be at Rose and Em's at nine to make sure everything is set up for the party later this afternoon. And," I stiffled a yawn. "Oh my goodness, sorry, then I think we're going to meet your bunch at about eleven. Are you still going to the Dean's house?"

Edward was invited by the Dean of the Veterinary school at UGA to attend a party being held at his house. There were a lot of important people who would be there, but Edward was really reluctant to go.

"Ah...I don't know, Bella. I just really don't want to spend my day with a bunch of stiff's who only talk about research and the latest advances in yada yada yada. I'm just so over all of this, Bella," Edward sounded so tired and....lonely.

"Edward? Are you okay?" I was concerned about the tone of his voice. Edward sounded distracted.....distant. A little trickle of uncertainty ran through me, but I pushed it away. I was not going down that path.

"Yeah, baby, I'm just.....frustrated......I'm ready to come home. I'm just......never mind. I'm sorry, I'm being a whiney ass. You don't need to hear all that this morning. I'm sorry."

"Don't you dare, Edward Cullen." I was instantly wide awake and I felt my temper flare at the thought he would apologize for wanting to come home to me. "Don't you dare apologize for wanting to come home. God, Edward.....I can't wait until you're back here. Do not apologize for that!"

"I'm sor-"

"Stop it!" I cut him off before he could apologize yet again. "Stop apologizing for letting me know how you feel, Edward. Is that not what you want me to do? To let you know how I feel?" I wanted to be supportive. I wanted to let him know that it was okay, but it really pissed me off that he was apologizing for telling me how he felt, especially when he had begged me to be open with him about my feelings. "So what? It's okay that I open up and I spill my guts to you ,but because you're half way across the country and you want to come home.....to come back to me....it's not okay for you..." I wiped at the angry tears rolling down my face. "I thought that's what we were doing, Edward. I thought that was what you wanted...for us to be honest with one another, to be open about how we feel, and yet you can't even be okay with telling me that you miss me? I...I want to know what you're thinking, Edward. I want to know when something is bothering you, just like you've asked me to do with you. Why is it not okay for you to do the same?" I wasn't even trying to hide the tears that were thickening my voice.

"Bella, baby, please don't cry. I know....I....I wasn't apologizing for wanting to come home. That wasn't what I meant at all...."

"Well, what exactly did you mean, Edward? Because it sounded to me like you were sorry you missed being here." A small sob escaped my lips as I thought about some of our conversations over the last couple of days. There were times when Edward was a little distracted, but I had attributed it to the stress of trying to close up everything there. I knew from what he said that the switch over wasn't going as smoothly as he thought it would originally. The new veterinarian was causing more issues than were necessary according to Edward, so I understood he was under a lot of pressure.

But if we were going to make this work between us, he had to be okay with talking to me and telling me how he felt. I wanted to be the way we were on Edward's birthday, when he spent the night with me, to be able to tell each other how we felt and not be ashamed of what we said.

"You're right, Bella. I didn't mean for it to come across that I was apologizing for wanting to come home. Baby, I want nothing more than to come home and wake you up properly, not with a phone call. And I'm sorry that I made you feel like I haven't been honest with you or that I didn't want to tell you what's going on here. That's not what I meant at all. I know that it sounded that way, but that's not the case, okay? I can't wait to get there and hold you again, to see those beautiful brown eyes in person, not over some damn computer screen. I just didn't want to ruin your holiday with my depressing ass, but I did that anyway and for that I'm sorry. I'm not sorry for wanting to come home. I'm not sorry for missing you, because......God, Bella....I miss you so much and I just want to be there. I wish I was there going to the parade and fair with you and our family. I would much rather be there, even with Emmett's goofy ass embarrassing everyone, than here going to this stupid stuffy thing at the Dean's house. I'm an ass, Bella. Please don't think I'm not all in with this.....I....I love you, Bella." Edward's voice broke with the last of his words.

"I know, Edward, I do. I....you've just been different the last couple of days, and then you started apologizing for not really telling me anything. It's just seemed like you were keeping something from me the last couple of times we talked and......Edward that scares me, okay? Do you understand that? Why that scares me?"

"Yes baby, I do. And again, I'm sorry for making you feel that way. I promise I'm not keeping anything from you, I just haven't wanted to bore you with all the specifics of what a fucking mess this switch over is becoming." I could hear the frustration creeping back into his voice, but this time I understood a little better that his work was truly the cause.

"That's what I mean though, Edward, you need to tell me that stuff. Even if it is boring as hell and I don't understand a thing you're telling me, you need to be okay with giving me the boring details. Or just the stuff that pisses you off. If we're going to be together, Edward, you can't keep that stuff from me, okay?" I was determined to get him to understand that he had to be just as open with me about the mundane everyday annoyances as he wanted me to be about the things in my life. Otherwise we wouldn't ever make it, and at this point in the game that was just not acceptable any longer.

"I know, darlin', I know, and I promise I will do my best to bore the hell out of you with the fullest of details about how much of an ass Dr. Roberts is on a daily basis."

I snorted, "That's more like it."

"Bella, I really am sorry for making you feel like I was hiding something and for not talking to you about this stuff. I'm learning here and, at the moment, failing miserably." Edward's voice was sincere.

"I know. I forgive you this time," I teased, "but don't let it happen again."

Edward chuckled. "Yes, ma'am."

"I do know that you're learning, so am I, but we need to do that together, okay?"

"Together....I like the sound of that, baby," Edward whispered.

"Me, too," my voice was soft and I smiled. My aggravation at Edward's attitude and reluctance to talk to me about these kinds of things had abated. Now I only felt an overwhelming longing for him to be here with me, to wrap me in his arms and make it all feel real again.

"I gotta go, Edward. I have to get in the shower if I'm going to make it to Em's on time and you know they give me shit for being late to family functions anyway," I sighed. I really wasn't ready to get off the phone, especially after this conversation.  
Edward groaned; obviously he wasn't ready, either.

"Okay, love, if you must," he teased.

~*~

Several hours later, the parade was over and we had all made our way to the fairgrounds to enjoy the festivities before going back to the ranch for the party.

Watching Garrett's reaction to the floats and steam engines during the parade made something which had become somewhat a mundane experience new and exciting. Best of all was watching my brother's reaction to his son. Even though Emmett and I teased one another mercilessly, I couldn't deny that he was a great dad. I loved him even more because of the way he was with his son. The sadness that lingered in my heart when I watched Em or Rosalie interact with Garrett was still there, but I understood it more. I could deal with it better since Edward and I had talked. It seemed just sharing my fears and my heartache with someone, with Edward, made it more bearable.

I stepped away to go to the restroom. As I stepped back out of the building on my way to find which activity Emmett had dragged the rest of the family to, I stopped dead in my tracks as I heard my name sing song in the most annoying pitch known to mankind.

"Bella," I turned to see Tanya walking toward me from the corner of the building. "Oh, Bella, I'm really surprised to see you out and about. I didn't expect to see you around so soon."

I looked at her completely confused as to what she could possibly be talking about.

_So soon after what? _I thought.

"So soon after? What are you talking about, Tanya?" I really did not want to be carrying on anything even remotely looking like a conversation with this woman.

Yet here I was, again, caught by surprise and in a situation I really did not want to be in.

The smirk that sat on her way too full for her face lips had my skin crawling. I knew for a fact they had not looked like that a few weeks ago when Edward and I saw her and Tyler at The Grey Moss.

"Well," she drawled, "I just figured you would still be holed up, pining away for Edward, since he's gone, _again,_" she emphasized the last word to get her point across that she was aware Edward was gone.

As much as I hated the fact that my body reacted as it did, that one word twisted in my gut and my heart rate sped up.

Edward was gone, again, and nothing I could do would change that. Regardless of the fact that Edward would be back in a little over a week. No matter that I spoke with him just this morning and had done so daily since he returned to Georgia. I couldn't deny that he was there and I was here, _again_.

And it seemed Tanya was hell bent on reminding me of that fact.

I took a deep breath and tried to get some semblance of composure, but before I could muster up a response, Tanya continued.

"I really thought you wouldn't be out of the house at this point since you weren't able to hold onto another man. And really, Bella, this one was the second time you let him get away. That has to be some kind of record, don't you think?"

My entire body was tense with the restraint I was exerting not to break her pretty little manufactured nose. I clenched and unclenched my fists, trying so hard not to put those nasty comments right back where they came from. Edward was right, Tanya truly was nothing but a vapid bitch. And that thought helped to bring the calm I was searching for - Edward's words to me after our first date and him telling me he was proud of how I handled myself with the Tyler situation.

I took another deep breath and realized I didn't want to stoop to Tanya's standards and show just how redneck I could truly be by beating the shit out of her.

So I smiled, refusing to acknowledge her attempt to goad me into something where I would ultimately look like the scorned ex-wife who had attacked the mistress and present girlfriend for no reason.

I brushed past her with little more than a glance and a shake of my head at the level of pathetic that she truly exhibited. Tanya was just nasty and I didn't understand why. Her family was always good friends with my parents. Though after Tyler and I split and their affair came out, our families had not had very much contact. The relationship between my parents and hers had cooled considerably. Tanya had the man she wanted, good riddance and more power to her on that one. She owned one of the most well known farms in the area; she really was only rivaled by The Cullens and Emmett and I. She had everything she could want, so I never understood why she was still such an unhappy bitch.

Before I was ten feet away, I heard her call to me and for some reason I couldn't explain, I stopped wondering what venom she was going to spew my way now.

"Has that bubble-headed brother of yours reconsidered my offer yet?"

For some unknown reason, her question had the hair on the back of my neck standing on end and I turned to look at her. The satisfied smile on her face told me she was well aware that I had no idea what she meant and she was more than happy to give me the full details.

"What offer?" I said with more confidence than I was feeling at the moment.

Emmett had not mentioned anything about an offer of any type, much less anything from Tanya.

"Oh, you didn't know?" she questioned with mock surprise. "Emmett didn't tell you? Hmm…." she mused. "And here I thought you two were so close." Tanya shook her head, trying to look as though she was disappointed in the relationship between my brother and me.

"Cut the bullshit, Tanya. What kind of offer did you make Emmett?" My voice was steady but my stomach was turning in very unpleasant ways.

I was quickly losing the calm that I had gained only a few moments ago and rethinking my earlier position on not dirtying my hands with giving her a need for visiting the plastic surgeon yet again.

"Well, there's certainly no reason to get nasty, Bella. I simply wondered if Emmett had reconsidered my offer to take the ranch off your hands. I mean surely you aren't still considering that pipe dream you have of training anything other than your own stock." she laughed condescendingly. "Come on Bella, really? And honestly, once the word gets out that you're losing horses to purposeful poisonings, do you still think anyone is going to trust their animals with you?"

There was something in what she was saying that had my suspicions immediately on edge, but my temper over her insinuation that there was a problem between Emmett and I overshadowed that at the moment.

"Why in God's name would you want to buy our ranch, Tanya?" my voice dripped with disdain.

"Oh, Bella, you silly girl. Why would I not want the Swan ranch? Daddy made an offer years ago to take it off your family's hands, but Charlie refused. So I just simply tried to reopen the lines of negotiation. I had really hoped that Emmett would be more receptive to my ideas than Charlie had been to Daddy's, since he's a little more like Renee, but he refused all the same. I had only hoped that he would be more reasonable, especially in light of the problems ya'll have been experiencing this year."

I was floored. I had no idea and I was reeling from this revelation.

Tanya continued on as though she really hadn't expected a response from me. She knew she had caught me completely off guard and she was reveling in the glory of my ignorance of the situation.

"I really should be going, Bella. I'm glad that I ran into you again. I'm sure we'll be seeing you in Vegas. You talk to Emmett now and tell him I'm serious about the offer. Surely after the event next week you'll be ready to reconsider," she smiled at me, and to anyone on the outside who had no idea of our history or what this conversation was comprised of, it would appear that we were two friends having a nice chat.

Not only had Eleazer Denali offered to buy the ranch from Charlie, but Tanya had approached Emmett?

Why would either one of them not tell me this?

I'm as much an owner as either of them. I couldn't wrap my head around the reasoning for the secrets. I had worked my ass off trying to keep the ranch going.

My life had been nothing but the ranch for the last several years. It had been a haven for me. When nothing else in my life had been normal, the ranch and the horses were a constant. I didn't really know what to make of not only the fact that Tanya wanted our ranch, but that Emmett and Charlie had kept it from me.

Why would they do that?

Did they really think I was incapable of handling Tanya?

The more I thought about the two of them keeping this from me, the more I began to wonder what else I might not know.

Maybe there were more things that the two of them were keeping from me. I felt sick at the thought that the two men I had always trusted implicitly, having never questioned their honesty with me, had lied to me.

They had kept a pretty fucking important piece of information from me and the reasons they would do such a thing completely escaped me.

I walked back toward where I thought the others might be. I felt numb. A feeling of betrayal coursed through me.

And knowing that this time it was Emmett and my father who had lied to me was like being kicked in the gut.

I wasn't sure what to do with the information Tanya had given me.

Do I confront them and find out if what she said was true?

Did I really want to know?

I wasn't sure that I wanted to find out.

The feeling I got when Tanya first mentioned the poisonings and what it would mean for our ranch if word got out before the person was caught was still tickling some region of my mind as a piece of information that I needed to hold onto.

"You alright, baby girl?" I heard Emmett's voice just before I felt his big hand on my upper arm.

I looked up at him and couldn't stop the tears that sprang to my eyes.

"Hey, what's that all about?" he murmured as he pulled me into a hug.

I couldn't tell him that it was him that was making me cry. The fear that he and my father really had been keeping secrets from me, essentially lying to me, and I knew if it were true, that they really had kept this from me it would be another 'we were only doing it to protect you, Bella' speech.

I was really becoming sick of everyone feeling as though I had to be protected all the time.

I am not a china doll.

And dammit, I can take care of myself. I don't need everyone tip toeing around me and thinking I am so fragile that I couldn't handle my business.

Edward had done it when he left all those years ago.

Rosalie and Emmett had done it with their news of the baby.

They all were guilty of it after I lost my baby and when they found out about Tyler's affair.

And now my father and brother were most likely doing it again in some attempt to keep me safe.

"Nothing Em, it's nothing." But I knew that he didn't believe me as he pulled back to look into my eyes.

"You sure, baby girl? 'Cause you don't look like it's nothing. Did Edward call or something?"

"No," I said a bit too sharply and took a deep breath to try again. "No," I said more softly and stepped away from him. "Edward didn't call and nothing is wrong, okay?"

I tried to smile at him so he wouldn't ask anymore questions. I really needed to get my thoughts together on this before I said anything to anyone.

* * *

**A/N**

**So I hope you liked it...let me know what you think...**

**I have an offer up on the Fandom Gives Back blog. Take a look, if there's an outtake of MMB you would like to see then here's your chance to help a child and get a outtake at the same time. If you've read one of the other o/s that I've written and there's something you'd like to know then I'm offering up that as well...buyers choice.**

**Thanks again to all of you who have sent your thoughts and prayers to me the last couple weeks. *smooches***


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: **

**I have to send out a huge thank you to my beta Jessica1971. As I say with every chapter but it's the God honest truth she makes MMB readable with her magic. **

**I have a few important announcements to make to you so please read the A/N note at the end.  
**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 19

Suspicious Minds…

BPOV

I knew I needed to talk to Emmett and Charlie. I wanted to, but I was so stunned and hurt by the things that Tanya said I couldn't form a coherent thought or put the words to the feelings or questions I had at the time. Then when Emmett automatically assumed that Edward was what caused me to be upset, granted it might have been a warranted assumption on his part but still, I was so angry I could have punched him in the mouth. I wanted to scream at him and, regardless of any of that, I couldn't hide the hurt or stop the tears that burned my eyes.

As soon as I was in my car I picked up my phone to text Edward. I didn't know if he would be home by now. I actually figured he was still at the Dean's home but I needed to talk to him.

With everything going on recently, I pretty much had reached the end of my rope.  
I felt a pang of guilty about the argument Edward and I had early this morning.  
I didn't mean to go off on him and what he said wasn't really all that bad, but I couldn't understand what was going on with him the last few days. I knew he was having a difficult time with the vet taking over, but his actions, or non-actions as it were, just hit too close to the memories of how he was before and I couldn't fight off the fear any longer.

We talked once I left Emmett and Rosalie's this morning after preparing for the party we were all heading to now.

Edward finally explained the problems he was having with the transition, saying that everything started out smoothly and he thought this Dr. Roberts was going be a great asset. Edward was impressed that Dr. Roberts was so knowledgeable coming in with the research that he and the team had done already. And that made Edward feel the transition would go easily; if the new doctor was up to speed and they could hit the ground running, things would be done quickly. That was not the case. It seemed because Dr. Roberts had read up on the published documents of Edward's research, he felt it gave him the authority or knowledge base to second guess everything being done and questioned every single step.

Edward really doesn't take being second guessed very well, especially on something he had put so much of himself into. So many hours of his life were spent in the clinic and with his research team, and when someone walks in off the street and began tearing down the work they had done, Edward reacted less than amicably.

Needless to say, he was upset. Add to that packing up the apartment which was really stressing him out. I tried to talk him into just hiring a company to come in and pack everything for him, but of course that went over like a lead balloon with Edward being the anal obsessively compulsive person that he is.

I laughed as I thought about that part of our conversation because honestly there were times when Edward could be completely unreasonable about things and the thought of someone else touching _his things_ was totally repulsive to him. He was literally stunned silent for a minute after I made the suggestion before sputtering through all the reasons it was a horrible idea.

I snickered at how completely flustered he could become over something so simple.

_Are you home yet_? I typed out and hit send.

My phone buzzed a few minutes later.

_Hell no! I hate this!_ Was Edward's reply and I snorted shaking my head.

_I need to talk to you._ I sent back hoping that he could get away for at least a moment.

_You okay?_ Edward replied almost immediately.

I snorted again, knowing that I really wasn't okay and that his response would most likely be quite colorful when he found out about my run in with Tanya.

_Yes & no. _I knew as soon as I sent that message Edward would be on full out over reaction worry mode and sure enough my phone rang before I had even set it down from sending the text.

"Hey," I answered. I didn't need to look at the ID to know who was calling, I knew it would be Edward.

"Bella? Baby, what's wrong?" Edward's voice was concerned.

"I....God, Edward..." I couldn't put the words together and I fought to hold back the tears.

"Baby, what is it?" he asked. I hesitated, opening and closing my mouth several times without uttering a word. "Please, Bella, you're kinda scaring the shit out of me at the moment. I can't read your mind darlin', so you're gonna have to tell me what's wrong." Edward was concerned and I could hear the hint of panic in his voice.

I took a deep breath and began spilling all the sordid details of what Tanya had revealed.

"God....okay, Edward, I....UGH! Tanya confronted me at the fair, today, and....." my breath caught in my chest.

"What?!" Edward's voice was sharp and I knew immediately he was furious. I knew I needed to tell him that Tyler was nowhere around because I was almost positive that was running through his mind.

"Tyler wasn't with her when I ran into her, Edward. I know that's what you were thinking.....and he wasn't anywhere around, I didn't see him at all," I assured and heard Edward exhale a long breath I'm sure he had been holding trying to not lose it.

"Bella, what the hell happened?" Edward's voice was low but the strain was evident.  
I knew if I could see him he would be running a hand through his hair, pulling the ends over and over. If I had to guess he was probably pacing at the same time.  
"What did she say to you?"  
"She said that she made an offer to Emmett to buy the ranch and he had refused but, she felt sure once word got out about the poisoning and that I fell on my face in Vegas he would have to reconsider."

"Well, that's just bullshit!" Edward exploded. "Bella, seriously I can't....I can't imagine what would possess her to make up such a.....wait a minute." Edward stopped and concern replaced the anger in his voice from only a moment ago. "Bella, you don't ....do you really think she tried to buy the ranch?"

"I don't know, Edward," I whispered, losing the battle against the tears as they slid down my cheeks and I wiped at them angrily.

"Oh, baby, really? You have to know she was just trying to throw you for a loop before you go to Vegas. Surely you see that, don't you?" Edward tried to reassure me.

I wanted so much to believe that, but there was just something in the words that rang true. Maybe it was a sixth sense, a premonition, whatever you called it I felt it in my heart that what Tanya said was true. There was just something that I was missing and it was more than the fact that I had obviously been kept in the dark about Tanya's intentions to purchase the ranch.

"I....she said that Eleazar had tried to get Charlie to sell out years ago, Edward. You think that was just to throw me off?" I tried to concentrate on the road, but I pulled off on the shoulder to collect myself. I couldn't pull up to the party with tears running down my face.

"Ah....this is more about Emmett and Charlie isn't it?" Edward asked.

I nodded my head even though I knew he couldn't see me and wiped at my eyes.  
"Yeah....I mean really, Edward....why would they keep something like that from me? And to have Tanya of all the fucking people in the world tell me about it! UGH! I think she got more satisfaction out of the fact that I obviously had no idea what the hell she was talking about. She even had the nerve to say that she thought Em and I were closer than that! Can you believe that?" I was so pissed off that not only had Tanya confronted me and made me feel this way, but that she would actually then question my relationship with my family.

I might be really upset with Emmett and Charlie, but my relationship with them was rock solid.  
"It just really hurt me, Edward." I finally admitted. "I don't really care so much if she or Eleazar made a play for the ranch, but the fact that if that's the case, and honestly it probably is, why would Em or Charlie not tell me?"

"I don't know, baby. I'm sorry about all this. I wish I could make this better. I should be there for you....God, I'm so sorry. You have to talk to them, Bella. You can't go to Vegas and compete without talking to them. You have to know that, baby."

"Yeah, I know....but," I paused taking a deep breath.

"But what, darlin'?" Edward prompted.

"I'm just so mad; I don't think it would be very productive if I tried to talk to them right now and...there are about forty people coming to the ranch for the party. How the hell am I supposed to have this type of conversation with that going on? And we're leaving at five AM tomorrow, Edward? It's not like there's a lot of time to have this conversation.....and I just...I need to get my thoughts together and cool off before I talk to them."

I calmed somewhat and pulled back out on the road toward the ranch as Edward and I continued talking.

As the big house came into view, Edward and I ended our call and he promised to call later tonight to make sure I was okay.

I knew he felt even more guilty that he was in Georgia and really couldn't do anything but talk me through all of this, though he didn't realize how much it meant to me knowing that he _was_ simply there when I needed him.

I knew that Edward was right, I needed to talk to Emmett and Charlie. I knew that I wouldn't be able to concentrate on the competition, but I also knew there was no way I could hold it together well enough to have a real conversation right now. Technically I could talk to Emmett on the way to Vegas, but I didn't feel it was a conversation that needed to be done individually, and Charlie wasn't coming to Vegas until the day of my first event. He and Renee were flying in the morning of and would stay until the last day of competition.

As if I didn't have enough distraction with Edward being gone and the investigation, I now had this elephant in the room between me and my family.

I climbed out of the car and took a deep breath as I made my way to the house.

Four hours later, the party was still going strong. I was completely exhausted, emotionally and physically. It had been a really long day and I know I hadn't hid my emotions very well as Rosalie and Alice both approached me during the party to ask if I was okay.

And as much as I wanted to play it off and tell them I was, I just couldn't. I wasn't okay and I wouldn't be okay until I talked with Emmett and Charlie. I made my excuses of needing to finish packing and headed back to my house.

I don't know how long I sat on my couch with a glass of wine trying to collect my thoughts and control the seething anger I felt toward Tanya Denali. She had caused me more grief over the course of my life than I cared to even think about.

Tanya had always been a thorn in my side even when we were kids. For whatever reason, she and I never got along.

In all honesty, the animosity between Tanya and I had very little to do with Tyler.  
I simply just didn't like the woman....at all.

Finally standing and walking to my bedroom, I began pulling out the bag I had begun packing a few days ago. I absently finished collecting the last of my essentials and walked out of the bathroom back to the bed where my bag lay open.

I checked the clock and realized it was now one-thirty. I still hadn't finished with my packing even after leaving the party.

_Obviously I'm not getting any sleep tonight. _I thought to myself as I stuffed a few more pairs of socks in my bag.

The same questions ran through my head over and over again as if they were on a loop.

I shook my head as I stuffed my toiletry bag in my large duffel, completely and utterly frustrated with myself for not talking to Charlie and Emmett earlier today.

I walked to my closet and grabbed the garment bag that held my outfit for the competition along with the hat box and my boots, taking it all back and placing the items next to my duffel.

I was startled when Skype began ringing and I checked the clock.

"Two-thirty? Who the hell..." I mumbled to myself as I made my way around the bed and over to where my laptop sat on my dresser.

I knew it was around three-thirty in Georgia and we had only talked a short time ago, so I couldn't imagine that it was Edward, but who else would be ringing me on Skype at this time of the morning?

"Oh my God!" I squealed when I saw who the caller was and hit the receive button.

"Holy God!! Seth! Where the hell have you been? Huh? I called you like three days ago and you wait to Skype me at two-thirty in the morning?" I tried to make my face look stern but it was useless as I took in the smiling face of my friend.

"Hey, beautiful, how's my girl doing?" Seth laughed.

"I'm fine, but you didn't answer my question big boy, so stop stalling and spill. Where you been?" I crossed my arms and glared at the screen once again. Seth threw his head back and laughed, loudly.

"I know, I know....I'm sorry about that. I've just been in the studio until all hours of the night, which by the way is why I'm calling you at two-thirty in the morning. I figured that if I didn't call you now I wouldn't get another chance. Aren't you guys leaving for Vegas in the morning? What are you doin' still up anyway?" Seth's gray eyes sparkled with mirth.

"UGH! Just couldn't shut down....and of course I haven't finished packing yet. You know me, wait to the last minute to do everything."

Seth snorted and shook his head before saying, "Yeah, some things never change do they?"

"Hardy har har, smartass," I snapped, but it had no bite to it because I couldn't keep the grin off my face.

"So, how is recording going?" I tried to make serious conversation but couldn't resist teasing him. "Ya know, since you've forgotten that your best friend is all the way out here all alone, and she's been feeling completely ignored because _somebody_ doesn't remember how to pick up the phone and return a call."

"Oh yeah, poor baby, you've been _so_ ignored. And you can just cut the shit right there because you've been so wrapped up in your Edward bliss you've hardly noticed I've been gone. Which, by the way, it's about damn time you two got your shit together. Really....I'm happy for you, Bella." Seth's expression was sincere and I knew that his words were as well.

"Thank you, Seth. Edward and I are trying to make things work this time. I think maybe being older and with the stuff we've dealt with.....well, I think it's just making us appreciate each other more, ya know?" I looked up to smile at the screen and saw Seth smiling back at me.

He really was happy for me and it felt good to know Seth understood.

Edward and I, although getting it right wasn't easy and we weren't there yet but we were both trying to make a go of our relationship, we were building something much better than anything either of us had ever experienced, even with each other. This separation was extremely difficult, but with my epiphany before Edward left I found myself trusting Edward so much more. Even our little misunderstanding was different than what would have happened years ago. Before I would have kept my fears to myself and not called Edward out on his emo shit.

But now…..though I knew we had a long way to go, just being comfortable enough with one another to call bullshit was a huge step for both of us.

Seth and I talked the whole time I was finishing my packing. He told me about the recording sessions and how things were going with the producers. There were a few tense moments when Jake and the producers didn't see eye to eye on one point or another, but things had settled down now and they were able to get several tracks down to the satisfaction of both the band and the producers. I could tell he was extremely excited for the way things were going with the recording. We talked about the poisoning investigation, but I decided not to mention the whole thing with Emmett and Charlie.

I don't know why, but after talking with Edward about it I just didn't feel right bringing Seth into the mix as well. Seth is my friend and I love him like a brother, but this was a family matter....it struck me then that I considered Edward as family and didn't have a second thought about it until just that moment. A smile spread across my face with that realization.

I looked at the clock as I said my goodbyes to Seth and groaned. "Three forty-five....UGH! There really isn't any point in even trying to go to bed now," I grumbled to myself as I stood from the bed and made my way to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. It was going to be one of those days where I needed lots of caffeine.

Twenty minutes later I was stepping out of the shower. As I toweled dry and dressed my mind kept playing the questions I needed to ask my father and brother over and over. Edward had told me I needed to talk to them before the event and I knew he was right. I didn't feel calm enough to do it earlier, but now.....

I walked into the bedroom and grabbed my cell. Quickly scrolling through my numbers I found the one I was looking for and waited.

As soon as his groggy voice came on the line, I began. "We need to talk. Meet me at the barn in fifteen minutes.....No, just do it. I'll explain when you get there, and bring Charlie with you." I hung up without giving him time to actually respond and nodded my head.

I had spent the whole day stewing over this and if I didn't get this off my chest now....if I didn't get the answers I needed, I would never be able to compete. Well, I'd be able to compete, but I wouldn't have my mind where it needed to be and this was too big an opportunity to allow that to happen. The longer I thought on it, I realized I completely agreed with Edward. Tanya wanted me distracted. She knew if I was questioning Emmett and Charlie I wouldn't be concentrating on the competition.

That was exactly what she was looking for, my distraction and subsequent screw-up, so I would nip that in the bud and do this now.

I filled my mug with coffee and grabbed my bags throwing them in the bag seat before I headed out to meet Emmett and Charlie. Truly all I wanted to know was why I wasn't told about Tanya's desire to take over the ranch.  
I took a deep breath as I pulled up in front of the barn and saw the lights were already on, "Well, you asked for this."

Opening my door and stepping into the night air, I shivered. I knew it was nerves and tried to calm myself before going any further.

I made my way down the hall of the barn to the office. I placed my hand on the knob and fell through the door. My bear of a brother caught me before I fell flat on my face.

"Holy God, baby girl, are you trying to kill yourself before we get to Vegas?" Emmett stood me on my feet while still holding my upper arms as he laughed.

"No, you ass. You opened the door at the same time I was coming in and pulled me off my feet." I scowled at him and slapped his arm.

I heard Charlie's low chuckle behind me and turned to scowl at him as well. He tried to cover his laughter with a cough and shifted in his seat on the sofa.

"So uh...Bella, exactly why did you need to talk to both of us at this god awful time of the morning?" Charlie never was one to beat around the bush and got right down to business.

"Well..." I walked around the desk and sat in my chair. Actually I was stalling, I still wasn't sure how to broach this subject. "I..."

"Yeah, woman, I'm losing beauty rest here."

And there it is, my brother's always the one least likely to be serious in any situation. But that's also one of the reasons I love him so much.

"Okay, okay..." I paused, looking from Charlie to Emmett, my heart slamming against my ribs. Gathering all the courage I could muster, I continued. "Look, I need to ask you both something about the ranch and I really don't know which answer you could possibly give me that will be okay. So I just need to ask this and then we'll go from there." I watched a look pass between Charlie and Emmett as they tried to figure out what I was talking about. I tried to figure out how to say what I needed to say. Taking a deep breath, I figured the direct route was the best.

"Yesterday at the fair, I ran into Tanya Denali." I looked directly at my brother and saw the anger pass over his features. "And she relayed a tidbit of information to me that I'm just not sure why the two of you would keep from me." I held up a hand as Charlie began to speak. "Just let me finish, daddy. Did she and her family offer to buy this ranch from both of you in the past?"

Emmett's mouth dropped open and Charlie ran a hand over his mustache, smoothing it repeatedly. I waited, looking between the two of them until Charlie cleared his throat and shifted his position on the sofa before he began.

"Okay, Bella....yes. Eleazar approached me probably...... hell, its been ten years ago, wanting to take the ranch off my hands. He said he knew your mom and I were getting ready to retire in the next few years and that he could make it well worth my time to consider it. And I did consider it," I sucked in a breath and Charlie held up a hand. "Now hold on there, I considered it for all of about twenty seconds before I told him not a chance in hell would I sell this ranch out from under my kids. And that was the end of it, or so I thought until last year when Tanya came to Em and offered him basically the same thing, just more money." Charlie looked over at Emmett, who had not uttered a word since I asked about the offer.

"Emmett?" Charlie questioned with a raised eyebrow.

I looked over to where he still stood near the door. His head was bowed and his hands were clenched into fists.

"Emmett...." my voice was pleading. I wanted to hear from him what happened and why he felt it necessary to keep it from me.

I now understood why Charlie had never mentioned the offer from Eleazar, it had been so long ago, before Em and I took over, so that wasn't necessarily relevant.  
But the situation with Tanya was, and my brother was the only one who could answer the questions I held.

He looked up when I softly called his name and met my eyes. "Why?"

"Bella...." he began, taking the few steps to lean on the desk until he was standing beside me with his arms folded across his chest."Yeah....Tanya approached me a little over a year ago with an offer to buy the ranch. She said our ranch was a good investment and she wanted to buy it for the land use and they had plans for a big expansion of their ranch. Tanya made the offer once. She wanted to know how much it would take to change my mind.....Bella, I never considered it an option. And I should have told you about it....the decision should have been from both of us, not just me.....but," he paused for a moment and took a deep breath before continuing.

"Baby girl, you were going through a lot of shit at the time. You had just lost the baby and I made the decision that it wasn't all that important, considering the train wreck of fucked up you were dealing with at the time. When things got back to normal or some semblance there of, I just really never thought about it again. After the shit hit the fan with what was going on between Tyler and Tanya...well damn Bella, the offer she had made just seemed irrelevant. I'm sorry that I didn't say anything to you before now.....but mostly I'm sorry that you found out from that bitch and it hurt you. I didn't keep it from you on purpose, Bella....it was all about the timing, nothing more. Okay?" Emmett looked at me pleadingly, willing me to understand his reasoning.

I stared at him for a long moment. I knew that what Emmett was telling me was true. And as I thought it over, a piece of the puzzle began to form and move into place with something Tanya had said to me earlier....

I gasped as a realization hit me, "Em! Oh my god....why did I....I knew there was something that kept kicking around in my head...."

"Bella, what the hell are you talking about?" Emmett stared at me with a confused look on his face.

"You wanna clue us in on what's ticking off in that head of yours, kiddo?" Charlie questioned, sitting up a little straighter on the sofa.

I looked between my brother and Charlie as the pieces actually clicked into place.

"I....okay, just hear me out on this," I raised a hand, shaking my head trying to understand why I didn't see this earlier. "Em, I believe you...I understand that neither one of you kept this stuff from me on purpose, and I'm sorry that I thought that you did. But with what you just told me, Em....okay, there was something that Tanya said yesterday that didn't really mean anything then, but now....with what you just told me.....she knew about the poisoning. Tanya knew that someone had poisoned Lacy....doesn't that seem sort of strange?" I met my brother's dark blue eyes as the meaning of what I was saying began to dawn on him.

I heard Charlie utter a curse under his breath, obviously he'd figured out what I was saying as well.

"Holy hell, Bella, you don't really think that Tanya had something to do with that, do you? Seriously? That's....that's just...shit." Emmett was very rarely speechless, but as he thought over what I just told him in conjunction with Tanya's attempt to purchase the ranch, he struggled with finding words.

"We need to make a call to Investigator Brooks. He needs to know about this..." Charlie's said. His face was flushed red, obviously angry.

The investigator needed to know about my conversation with Tanya. There was no one outside of the family that knew about the results from Lacy's testing other than James and his employees. So Tanya had no reason to be aware of the actual circumstances surrounding Lacy's death.

~*~

I called Edward as soon as we were on the road. I knew he would be up getting ready for work. I relaxed a little once I heard his voice come on the line.  
Edward's reaction was pretty much what I expected once I filled him in on our suspicions regarding Tanya. He was pissed, beyond pissed and he agreed that we most definitely had to put a call in to the investigation team.

I was on pins and needles as I tried to wait until I knew Investigator Brooks would be in the office. I had his cell number and already left three messages on his voice mail without a call back yet. So I thought maybe I would have better luck catching him as he arrived at the ASPCA office.

"Finally," I muttered under my breath as I checked the clock on the dash of the truck for at least the millionth time.

Picking up my phone and dialing the number, I rolled my eyes as I looked over the seat and took in the snoring form of my brother who was currently sprawled out across the back seat. I grinned at Laurent as I heard him snort a laugh and saw him shaking his head with an amused grin on his face.

"He really can sleep anywhere, can't he?" Laurent snickered.

"Yep, looks like it," I laughed as I listened to the continued ringing of the phone.

"Good Morning, ASPCA. This is Lauren. How may I help you?" The receptionist's voice was friendly and way too cheerful for this early in the morning.

"Oh, good morning, Investigator Brooks, please," I replied.

"Yes, ma'am. May I tell him who's calling?" Lauren asked.

"Just tell him it's Bella Swan, thank you."

"One moment, please." The line clicked as I was put on hold and the absolutely worst muzak known to man played in my ear.

"I'm on hold," I mouthed to Laurent who was giving me a questioning look and he nodded his understanding then returned his attention to the road.

We had been on the road for several hours and hadn't made it out of Texas yet. I looked out the window as the scenery flashed by, waiting for the investigator.  
Finally I heard the voice of the receptionist come back on the line.

"Ms. Swan? I'm very sorry, Investigator Brooks is in a meeting right now and can't be disturbed. Would you like to leave a message for him?" Lauren's voice dripped professional sincerity.

"Yes, please. Tell him I called and that I've left a couple of messages on his cell. I need to speak with him as soon as possible. I'm on the road right now so tell him to call me on my cell, he should have the number but I'll give it to you just to be safe." I rattled off my cell number and said a quick goodbye before ending the call.

"UGH!" I threw my phone on the dash and fisted my hands in my hair. "Seriously! I mean, how many freakin' times am I going to have to call the guy?! This is so damn frustrating."

"Yes, ma'am, it is, but I'm sure he'll be callin' back any minute."

Laurent was quite possibly the most optimistic person I had ever been around in my life. I turned to look at him, wanting to come back with a snide comment, but I stopped myself because it wasn't his fault I was so frustrated.

We were pulling into one of the many stops along I-10 to take a break and get fuel when my cell phone rang.

I lunged for it, hoping that it was finally Investigator Brooks returning my call. It was going on three hours since I left the message with Lauren for him to call, not counting the numerous voice mail messages before that, and I was beginning to get a little pissed.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Ms. Swan, I'm sorry for not calling you back sooner. I did get your message," the investigator apologized.

"No, it's okay, I understand you have other cases besides ours, it's fine." Even though I was less than happy about him not calling me back sooner, I could understand that ours was not his only case. "I have some information that I think you might need to hear in regards to our case, so that's the reason I was so insistent on talking to you as soon as possible."

"Oh, yes ma'am, I understand completely and I would have been calling you today regardless, so please don't worry about being insistent," he assured. "So what information do you have for me, ma'am?"

I took a deep breath and launched into explaining the conversation I had with Tanya and the things she said about the poisonings. I filled him in on my suspicions that there was a reason she knew more about the circumstances of what happened to Lacy than she should have. When he wasn't surprised by my information, I was slightly taken aback.

"Yes ma'am, we're aware that Ms. Denali has a more than passing knowledge of those circumstances. Ms. Swan, I can assure you that what I was working on earlier today, the reasons behind why I could not take your call earlier, were related to that very subject. I don't want to get into the minute details at this point because honestly they are just being worked out, but rest assured we are aware of Ms. Denali and are looking into some leads. That's really all I can say as the investigation on this is in a preliminary stage and I can't release any further details at the present time. But I swear to you, Ms. Swan, when I have the information that we need, you will be the first to know," Investigator Brooks' voice rang with authority.

I felt he was convinced they were finally making headway on finding the person responsible.

My stomach twisted sickeningly at the thought I had been right. Tanya had too much information for her to have caught wind of some gossip, and the investigator already knew about it....

I filled Emmett, who was now wide awake and driving, and Laurent in on the conversation with Investigator Brooks. Emmett was pissed that we couldn't get more information on what was going on, but there was really little we could do about it at this point.

The fact that they were aware of the situation and were already working on it gave me some consolation. But like Emmett, I wanted to know more about how they planned on finding out what Tanya's connection might be.

~*~

The drive in had been so unbelievably long even though we made really good time with me, Laurent, and Emmett taking shifts driving and only stopping when we absolutely had no choice to fuel up or give the horses a break from standing on the trailer. We made the trip in under fifteen hours but I was still exhausted.

I was completely shocked when we checked in at the South Point Hotel and Casino.  
My accommodations had been upgraded to a suite. I had a sneaking suspicion as to how my room got changed.

I slung my duffel over my shoulder before the bell hop, Alec....I think, took the rest of my things on the little gold trolley and I followed him onto the elevator. I looked over my shoulder and rolled my eyes at Emmett and Laurent as they both shook their heads and laughed at my flustered state.

I followed Alec down the hall toward what was obviously my room. I gasped as Alec swung the French doors to my suite open.

The white marble foyer was breathtaking. I looked at Alec with wide eyes and shook my head completely overwhelmed with the beauty, and I had only seen the foyer.

"Is there a problem, ma'am?" Alec asked in a worried tone.

"Huh?" was my intelligent response.

Alec chuckled lightly and repeated, "Is there a problem with your room, Ms. Swan?"

"Oh...oh god no, thank you." I shook my head and he gestured for me to step inside. "Holy god, it's beautiful," I whispered to myself as I took in the soft cream walls and the deep blue and dark reds of the accent colors. There was a calming feel to the entire room. Passing a small powder room and coat closet off the foyer, I stepped into the main area of the suite. The back wall was almost completely consumed with two large rounded windows.

The main area of the room held a large sofa and several overstuffed plush chairs, all surrounding a very large entertainment area complete with a flat screen TV and every piece of technology known to man available there. I walked through the entire suite, marveling at the beauty of it all. Alec pushed the trolley with my belongings into what was to be my bedroom. I made note of the formal sitting room off the main area where another flat screen TV and several plush chairs were arranged.

I was shocked as I entered the bedroom and took in the sight of what had to be the absolutely biggest bed I had ever seen. Another huge arched window encompassed the majority of the outside wall of the bedroom, matching that which were in the main area. The rich blue of the duvet and the deep cherry wood of the scrolling headboard was mind-boggling in its beauty. Alec made quick work of unloading my small amount of bags and hanging the garment bag in what he showed me was the closet.

I swear my living room back in Texas would fit inside what was the closet of this room.

On the other side of the closet/sitting room lay the ungodly large bathroom with the most deliciously inviting looking bathtub. I would most definitely be soaking in that in a very short period of time.

Alec made his way pushing the little gold luggage trolley back through the suite toward the door. I followed and rummaged through my purse which I had thrown on the sofa on my first pass through the room. Pulling out some money for a tip, I called to Alec just as he reached the door.

"Thank you for all your help, Alec," I handed him the folded money but he raised his hands in a palms out gesture and shook his head.

"Oh, no ma'am, that isn't necessary."

Was he nuts? When had a bell hop ever refused a tip?

"The gratuity has already been handled, ma'am. I can't accept that." He smiled at me as he tipped his hat and made his way back out the door.

"You have got to be kidding me...." I mumbled to myself.

If I had any doubts about who was responsible for this before, I surely didn't now, and I shook my head and laughed at the ridiculousness of the things that man did sometimes.

I picked up my cell, hitting the speed dial for the scoundrel's number.

"Hello love," his silky and sexy voice crooned into the phone.

"Thank you, Edward," I said as soon as his deep voice came over the line.

"For what, baby?" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"You know good and well for what, so don't even try to pull the innocent act with me, mister," I laughed.

"Okay, okay..." he laughed before continuing in a more sincere voice. "I just wanted you to be comfortable while you're out there, baby. Even though I can't be with you....you deserve it, Bella."

And just how do you argue with that? Even if I wanted to fuss at him for spending the unnecessary money on this suite, I couldn't; my heart melted with those few words.

"Edward....how do you always do that?" I asked, placing a hand over my heart.

"Do what, baby?" Even though I couldn't see him at the moment, I knew that he would have that sexy smirk on his face and my body reacted to the images flashing through my head at those thoughts.

"That...you.....you always know how to say just the right thing to shut me up and make my heart melt."

Edward chuckled before saying, "I don't do anything but speak the truth, darlin'. I always want to give you the best. It wasn't a line, you do deserve it. And I plan on making sure to provide you with only that for a very long time."

I sucked in a shuddering breath at his words. I knew he meant it when he said those things and my heart so wanted to accept them. The more I heard them, the more we shared even over the distance between us right now, the easier it became to let the walls collapse. I knew what I wanted and I knew that it was there for the taking. I had made up my mind over the last weeks that when Edward got back into town, I would make sure he knew how I felt about him....how I had always felt. There would be no more holding back, no more second guessing him or what we could have with one another....

~*~

We had been in Vegas for two days and I was thoroughly enjoying the suite. I definitely would have to thank Edward properly when he finally got home. I smiled to myself at the possibilities of how I would accomplish that little task.

I poured my third cup of coffee in the travel mug I had brought with me, it just was not possible for me to function without coffee and I had a long day ahead of me.

I was meeting Laurent at the arena to prep the horse for the event today. I had to admit that this year's colts were some of the best, seeing that I was unable to begin their training as early as I would have liked. Raven alone was going to blow the competition away. His cow-sense and willingness to respond to cues was amazing.

Well, his willingness to respond to my requests _now_ were automatic.

But that was only after he and I came to an understanding about who was in charge. He didn't relinquish control easily. I had finally broken through and he had the potential to become one of the best cutting horses in the country.

I was sporting a pair of my favorite ripped Cinch jeans and a tank top at the moment, but that was only so I could prep the colts. I would change into more suitable "show" attire before entering the arena later this afternoon.

I grabbed the garment bag which held my outfit.

My attire for the competition was simple - a new pair of black Cinch jeans and a black silk button down shirt with small sequins on the tips of the collar and at the sleeves. I had a black cowboy hat and black suede show chaps that I would also be wearing, and a large belt buckle that my dad had won during his days on the circuit, but all that would wait until after I completed the morning warm up sessions.

Although I had a pair of work chaps I wore most days when training, the show chaps were much longer and covered my boots almost entirely when I was in the saddle. They were made this way so the cues given to the horse were hidden from judges when actually competing in an event.

Truly, the horse would move in the direction it needed to block the cow's path back to the heard when working all on its own, but occasionally needed a reminder of where to go next. I would gently press the blunt tine of my spur into its flank cueing his response of moving away from the pressure, successfully cutting into the path of the cow trying to return to its herd.

Picking up my hat box, room key, and cell phone, I walked out the door and headed to Emmett's room. We were heading to the arena together. The hotel and the arena were on the same campus so we could walk from one to the other without any difficulty.

I wondered if Emmett was even up yet as I waited for the elevator. I swear that man would sleep 'til noon if it wasn't for Rosalie making sure his ass was out of bed on time every day. She had stayed home on this trip, leaving the responsibility of getting his grumpy ass up mine.

I knocked on his door and waited for him to finally answer.

"What?!" he said grumpily as he opened the door. Emmett is not a morning person, actually neither one of us were very happy in the early morning. Emmett lived up to the 'bear' part of my pet name for him at this time of the morning.

"Don't 'What' me, brother bear. Are you ready to go? We're burning daylight you know," I quipped as I pushed past him to enter his room. I took in the fact that he was still shirtless and in his pajama bottoms.

"Holy hell, Em, you're not even dressed yet! We're supposed to meet Laurent in like fifteen minutes. Get your ass in gear, man!" I huffed.

How on God's green Earth this man ever functioned before Rosalie whipped his ass into shape, I have no idea. I mean I know momma always babied him, but good lord, how hard was it to get up on time and get dressed? I mean, really? He's twenty seven years old for Pete's sake.

"Shut the fuck up, I'm getting ready, baby girl. You know how hard it is for me to sleep when Rosie isn't with me and I slept like hell last night," he fussed as he made his way to the bedroom to get dressed.

I heard him cussing as he must have stubbed his toe on the dresser.

He emerged from the room ten minutes later, hat in hand, fully dressed in his finest western cut sport jacket and white button down, and 20X jeans.

I let out a long, low whistle. "Well brother bear don't you look all spiffy," I giggled as he gave me the evil eye then grinned, showcasing those winning dimples, and winked.

"Don't you know it, baby girl," he teased and lightly punched my shoulder as he passed the couch where I had perched myself on the arm.

Have I mentioned that I love my big brother? He's a goof, but I love him even more for it; he always makes me laugh.

My heart ached a little with that thought as I also remembered how I was questioning not only him but my father as well after my run in with Tanya only a short time ago.

Emmett was meeting with prospective buyers for breakfast in the banquet room at the arena while Laurent and I worked with the colts getting them ready for later. Emmett was going to be negotiating a few contracts with some farms who had shown interest in having me begin training their colts. I would meet with them as well, but Emmett was taking the preliminary bullet and hopefully would schmooze them into sending their business our way.

"So tell me again who we've got coming to take a look at our progenies today," I questioned as he poured himself a cup of coffee and headed toward the door.

"Well, there are some folks from a farm out in South Dakota that are really interested in Raven. They found his pedigree on our website and said that they were curious about him. They liked his bloodlines and are thinking he's a possibility for their breeding program. So hopefully the fact that he's performing at the level you already have him at will close the deal." Emmett took a sip of his coffee as we waited for the elevator doors to open.

"Holy shit! That's hot!" he sputtered as the steaming liquid scalded his lips. I laughed out loud at his display, shaking my head and entering the elevator car.

"You know, for such a big guy, you really are a wuss," I teased as I took a long draw from my travel mug, smirking at him over the top.

He gave me a stern look and then continued in his explanation of what he knew about other prospective clients, what their intentions were and which colts they had shown interest in.

We actually trailered in seven colts for this event. Raven and Tig were the stars, but we had others that were in different stages of training. I was nervous about how things would go with a couple of them. I was confidant with their ability to work the cow, just not so much in their ability to hold it together once we were in the arena.

Charlie and Renee had flown in late last night and were supposed to be meeting us at the arena later in the afternoon just before my first event. This show was actually a week long event, but the actual sections we were entered in were not until the last few days. That's why we had planned on coming in as we did, to give the horses a little bit of time to adjust to their surroundings before they actually had to perform.

Before I knew what was happening, it was time for my first event and I could feel the sweat rolling down my back.

The nerves twisted my stomach until I thought I would throw up.

It wasn't like this was my first event ever but this would be the first time I was entered in the open classes and would officially become classified as a professional. I...we… had a lot riding on this and I was starting to really feel the pressure.

I walked out of the dressing room and over to where Laurent stood holding Blue. He was one of the younger colts that we brought and one of those that I was concerned wouldn't hold it together once we were in the arena.

"You ready, ma'am?" Laurent questioned with a raised eyebrow as he took in my pasty complexion and the sweat rolling off of me.

"As ready as I'm gonna be I guess," I answered honestly as I took the reins from his hand and climbed up in the saddle.

~*~

"Bella, you were amazing. Aro Volturi was so impressed with Raven. He is definitely going to be giving us an offer on him, and I have a good feeling that it's going to be a lot higher than what we were really expecting," Emmett went on to explain that it seemed the Volturi ranch would be commissioning me to work with some of their yearlings.

Emmett had negotiated with Aro a sweet deal to send three new fillies to start training on the ranch in a couple of months.

The contract was set-up that I would train them put them in competition on the circuit. Build their name for the ability to perform. The Volturi would bring them back to their ranch to be put into a breeding program after the fillies were successful. And then by having the show credits along with the bloodlines they already carried the worth of their offspring would increase exponentially.

For us, the opportunity to train for a ranch as large as the one that Aro Volturi and his brothers owned in South Dakota would put our name on the map.

It would mean a lot for me personally to have that type of exposure as a trainer. It's hard for a woman to get recognition in the horse world, and, as a trainer, to garner any real respect was nearly impossible.

So this opportunity was one that I had been hoping to gain for longer than I could remember. This could really open up a whole new world to me and the ranch.

I couldn't wait to get back to call Edward and let him know how things had gone today.

"Oh my God! Em, this is amazing! I can't believe that they are seriously going to let me…" my words trailed off as the most frightening expression I had ever seen came upon my brother's face. I had seen him angry, but I had never seen him look quite like this as his jaw tightened, lips drew in a tight line, and his fists balled.

"Em?" I questioned as I turned, following his gaze to see what had caused such a reaction in my usually fun loving, easy going, and mountain of a brother.

"You have got to be kidding me." I felt a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and an overwhelming anger as I saw Tanya Denali engrossed in what seemed to be a very intense conversation with none other than Aro Volturi.

* * *

**A/N**

**I need to apologize to all those who reviewed the last chapter and I haven't replied to you, I'm really really sorry. As most of you know my RL has been nuts lately and isn't going to be getting a lot better for a little while longer. So I apologize for not replying to your reviews. I appreciate each and everyone of them and read them all. I hope you will forgive me that the reason I didn't reply is that when I have had free time I've been concentrating on writing the chapter and my free time is few and far between. So I hope you understand....but I am sorry for not replying but please know that I so want to hear your thoughts and feedback. So I'm sending out a Thank you to all of you.**

**As many of you know The Fandom Gives Back auction is going on right now. Please visit the site. There are so many wonderful things being offered there and it all benefits Alex's Lemonade Stand for Childhood Cancer Research. The link is on my profile if you haven't visited already. I have an offer up for auction for the o/s of your choice. If you have a scene you would like to see that is not part of MMB then head over to the blog and bid for what you want to see. **

**So Vegas was a success for Bella....what does Tanya have up her sleeve? Is she really going to cause problems with Em and Bella's contract?**

**Okay last announcement for this epic A/N.**

** I will be adjusting the posting schedule for MMB. My wonderful beta and I are working to get the story back on a weekly posting schedule which we hope to do soon. But the chapter updates will be changing from Friday to Monday. I will continue to post a teaser on Teaser Monday on The Fictionators blog for the chapter that will post the following week...I hope that wasn't confusing cause now that I'm writing it out it sounded more confusing that it should have...**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Well of course first I always have to thank my twin, Jessica1971, for her amazing beta skills. She's awesomesauce and I'm proud to say she's my friend. **

**To all of you who have reviewed I send out huge hugs and kisses because MMB has broken the 1,000 review mark after the last chapter. Thank you so much for all your words of encouragement and support from the beginning as well as recently when my RL has spun out of control. **

**Music for the chapter: 'Til we aren't strangers anymore by Jon Bon Jovi & Leann Rhimes, I need you now by Lady Antebellum, Addicted by Saving Abel, Crash into me by Dave Mathews Band, Things that matter by Rascal Flats,  
**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. The plot and this story are all mine. Thank you SM for creating such amazing characters. **

**I've kept you all guessing as to when these two would be back together so without further a do, enjoy......**

***Lemon warning, if you don't want to read the lemon you've been warned, skip it, there's plenty of chapter otherwise*  
**

* * *

Chapter 20

'Til we aren't strangers anymore....

**BPOV**

I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face as I thought back on the whole competition.

The feeling of finally making it, finally making my mark on the male dominated training world, was something that I couldn't quite form words to describe.

I was overjoyed at how successful the event had been.

Although there were a few bobbles with Blue and a couple of the other younger colts, overall they had performed much better than I had expected.

Raven and Tig had performed better than I could have ever hoped. I knew they had it in them, and Raven of course was phenomenal, but Tig had really surprised me by holding it together so much better than I had hoped he would. His tendency to become distracted had concerned me, but at the end of the day we walked away with a first place spot for Raven and third for Tig.

Both would be competing in the finals later this year and I had moved myself into the rank of professional. I was over the moon happy with the results and Emmett was beside himself. Em, Laurent, and I were meeting Charlie, Renee, Carlisle, and Jasper at Baja Miguel's to celebrate.

The restaurant was on site within the hotel and had some of the best Margarita's and fajita's known to man. I hadn't eaten anything all day. My stomach was in such a knot before the final competition that I really couldn't eat. Then Emmett and I came out of the barn area on our way to meet up with Laurent and saw Tanya sidled up to Aro Volturi.

I felt my stomach sink at the possibility of all the things she could be saying to him.

The insanity that is Tanya was utterly draining and I was tiring of her games.

Granted, Tanya was a ranch owner and had as much right to be talking with The Volturi brothers as Emmett or I. My suspicions that she had some hand in poisoning Lacy as well as trying to ruin our ranch before we even had the chance to get our name on the map were almost surely confirmed and my mind couldn't help but make the leap, quickly coming to the conclusion she was working some angle to undermine the deal we had worked out with The Volturi ranch.

The amount of money the brothers put on the table for Raven alone was overwhelming.

And not only would they be purchasing Raven, but they also signed on to send their two year old's to me in the spring.

I couldn't hide the smug smile that lit up my face when Aro noticed Emmett and I and removed himself from Tanya's talon's, approaching us to congratulate me on the success of the competition for our ranch. Aro went on to tell us how very happy he and his brother's were with the prospect of working with us, saying he knew the arrangement was going to be most beneficial for us all.

I caught a glimpse of Tanya's furious face over Aro's shoulder and she was positively purple with her rage as Aro's daughter, Heidi, joined us and kissed my cheek in congratulations on our success. I watched with a sick satisfaction as Tanya turned and stomped away.

I recounted the ways the look on Tanya's face as she fumed satisfied a part of me.  
I realized that a very large part of me was quite vindictive.

It was more than satisfying, it was rapturous. As awful a person as that made me, knowing that I even in small part had won this battle with Tanya satisfied me.

Lying across the bed in my room, completely exhausted from the days of competition, I felt an immense relief that it was over. And knowing that Edward would be home by the time I got there made leaving in the morning all the better.  
The days since we arrived in Las Vegas had been long and tedious, but with the success of the event I really had nothing to complain about.

The only thing that would have made this event better would have been if Edward were here with me.

_Soon_, I thought.

I spoke to Edward after the final event. He was so excited for our success and told me how much he wished he could have been with me.

Edward had nothing but words of encouragement and support, telling me he never doubted that I would blow the judges away, and that made the smile on my face grow even wider.

I rolled over onto my stomach and pulled the pillow under my chin, folding my arms across the top and propping myself up as I stared at the opposite wall.

When I spoke to Edward a few hours ago he was still on the road somewhere in Mississippi and I picked up my phone to call him just to hear his voice once more tonight.

He didn't answer so I left a message and placed the phone back on the nightstand.

Edward would be home soon and this time it was for good.

He would have no reason to leave for any period of time again and I felt my heart beat faster at that reality. He would finally be home and we would begin our life together. We still had a lot of things to work through, but I knew his heart belonged to me just as surely as mine belonged to him.

I heard a knock at the door as I thought about Edward's homecoming and just how much I had missed him over these few weeks while he was gone. I growled at the probability that the person on the other side of that door was probably my brother, who literally had annoyed the hell out of me in his excitement over closing the deal with Aro Volturi.

I absently reached for the door as images of Edward's face flashed through my mind as I thought about what it would be like to have him home again, in my arms again...

"Emmett, I swear to G-" my breath caught as I took in the form before me.

My hand shot up to cover my mouth as I gasped and felt tears prick in my eyes.

A crooked grin spread across his face and his eyes sparkled as he took in my shocked expression.

I couldn't believe he was actually here… standing in front of me.

I shook my head because I must be dreaming, he wasn't supposed to be here. He was somewhere in Mississippi on his way home....

"Edward," I breathed, unable to put any force behind the words as my hands fell limply to my sides and I felt my knees buckle slightly.

"Hello, love," he whispered as he stepped just inside the door.

He barely had time to drop his bag as I launched myself at him, wrapping around his body.

Edward caught me, his arms immediately around my body, holding me to him as he stumbled back slightly and laughed.

He pressed his lips to mine hungrily.

My hands shot into his hair, pulling his face closer to mine, and my legs tightened around his waist.

I tilted my head, desperate for more as I pressed my body tighter to him, and felt his laughter rumble in his chest.

The satin of his warm tongue brushed along my bottom lip.

I heard Edward's soft moan as I opened to him and his tongue slid in my mouth, exploring, tasting, caressing.

It was as though my body burst into flames when our tongues met.

The kiss was fierce with want, our need for one another building over the weeks while he was gone. I felt it rolling off Edward and was matched by my own complete and overpowering desire to have this man.

I tightened my legs around his waist, my heels digging into the back of his thighs.

Edward stepped further into the room, kicking the door closed, never breaking the kiss.

I heard the click of the lock and felt him readjust his hold around my body.

I whimpered into his mouth as his hands slid under my ass, so close to where I truly needed to feel them.

_He's here, my Edward is here. _

Edward spun and I could feel the smooth surface of the door as he pressed me against it.

"Oh God," I sighed when Edward broke our kiss to graze his soft lips down my chin, placing hot open mouthed kisses along my jaw, nipping and licking the skin up to my ear.

I frantically fought with fumbling fingers to open the buttons of his shirt and pull it out of his jeans.

I ran my hands back up his now bare abdomen and chest, up his neck, then under the collar of his shirt pushing, the fabric down his defined arms.

I languished in the feel of his hard lean muscles as they trembled under my fingertips.

"Bedroom," he growled and slipped one arm at a time out of his shirt while keeping me pressed against the door with his body.

Edward crashed his lips back to mine, his tongue pressing against my lips requesting entry, moaning as I opened to him and sucked his tongue into my mouth.

"Down the hall," I whispered against his lips, pointing a hand in the right direction.

The muscles bunched in Edward's arms as he carried me down the hall, one hand under my ass while the other pushed at my T-shirt, trying to rid me of it quickly and expose my body to him.

Crossing my arms, I grabbed the hem of my shirt, breaking our kiss only long enough to wrench the offending article of clothing from my body, tossing it on the floor before burying my hands in his hair once again, his stubble rough against my skin as I ghosted my lips over his sharp jawline.

I flicked his lobe with the tip of my tongue and Edward moaned as he ran his lips along the line of my collarbone. His teeth grazed my skin, teasing, nipping, and then licking until I thought I would lose my mind.

My body was completely consumed by his touch.

The coolness of the sheets met my over heated skin and the mattress gave as Edward lay me down, my legs falling away from his waist.

Covering my body with his, he settled between my legs before his lips were again meeting mine.

Edward shifted his weight to one arm, sliding his free hand over my ass and down my thigh to wrap his long fingers around my knee and hitch my leg over his hip.

I moaned softly as his arousal pressed into my center.

"Edward," his name fell from my lips as I sighed with the delicious feel of his body against my own.

"I missed you so much, baby. I...." he kissed the hollow of my throat, murmuring against my skin, "want you.....so bad, Bella," Edward growled as he kissed his way down the center of my chest and over the swell of one breast.

Pushing the lacy fabric of my bra away with his nose to expose the puckered skin of my nipple, a low sexy sound rolled from his chest as he looked down at the reaction my body was having to his touch before his tongue slowly circled the taut skin.

His hand ran back up my thigh and over my ribs before cupping the other breast, his thumb grazing the fabric covered nipple.

My fingers tightened in his hair holding him closer as my back arched into him.

"This thing needs to go, baby," Edward ground out against my breast as he reached around my back to flick the clasp open with ease.

Running a single finger over my shoulder as he pushed first one, and then the other, strap off before removing it completely and throwing it over his shoulder to the floor.

"Mmm....much better." He grinned devilishly before dipping his head and taking a pebbled nipple in his mouth once again.

"Oh...God...Edward," I cried out in pleasure as he sucked it into his mouth fully, flicking the skin with his tongue as he suckled me while he palmed the other before rolling my nipple between his thumb and finger.

I rocked my hips against his in search of the much needed friction between our bodies and was met with an answering shift of his own.

My hands ran over his shoulders and down his back, feeling the muscles twitch as I scraped my nails over his skin and gaining a moan of pleasure from Edward as he continued to tease my breasts with his hand and mouth.

Finally reaching the waistband of his jeans, I danced the fingers of one hand around the edge until it was between our bodies and worked the buckle of his belt free.

I could feel his erection pressing against the fabric as I released the first button and he shifted into my touch.

"God, Bella, I..." his words were lost as he kissed across my chest and took my other nipple in his mouth and I arched my body into him more, whimpering at the feeling of his warm tongue on my skin.

I grabbed the fabric of his fly, pulling firmly, the remaining buttons gave easily in the soft denim.

I slid my hand down wrapping my fingers around his cotton covered erection.

Edward released my nipple and sucked in a sharp breath as I stroked him through the fabric of his boxers.

"Ahh....God, Bella." Edwards voice, usually so smooth, was rough with his desire. "Bella....ahhh... I....I can't...." He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, it took my breath away and I gasped at the intensity of the lust as I watched them darkening from emerald green to almost black.

_"_Bella," Edward sighed my name as if he were saying it in a prayer. Edward shifted his weight off me and slightly onto his side.

I groaned at the loss of his weight and having to release my hold on him even for a moment.

He ran one hand lightly down my abdomen, his index finger circling and teasing my navel.

He pressed his wide palm to the area between my belly button and the top of my pants before dipping his fingers just below the waistband.

His wicked grin let me know as soon as he realized I wasn't wearing any panties.

I smirked, leaning up to press my lips to his before he could make any comment.

I was close and I knew if I heard his voice at that moment, I would fall over the edge completely.

Our lips slid against one another.

Edward pushed his tongue in my mouth, deepening our kiss quickly and sending my mind reeling at the sheer pleasure of his talented mouth.

I needed that mouth all over my body.

I needed to feel that tongue tasting my skin.

I felt his fingertips travel lower at a tantalizingly slow pace and heard the low growl rolling from his chest as he felt the wetness between my legs.

Edward slipped a long finger inside me, causing me to break our kiss and gasp.

"Edward.....Oh God," I panted as he added a second finger.

"Does that feel good, baby," he purred in my ear. "I want to make you feel so good."

"Ungh....yes...Oh God, yes, Edward," I murmured incoherently as I threw my head back, drowning in the ecstasy.

I didn't think my heart could beat any faster, but I was wrong because it kicked into overdrive and I felt the tightening of my muscles as the pleasure rushed through my body.

He moved his fingers slowly inside me, curling them in the most delicious way on their way out.

"Edward, oh...oh..god," I panted as I felt my body close around his fingers.

"God, Bella...." he moaned against my neck as he kissed my pulse point, sucking the skin gently and slowing the pace of his fingers even more.

"I can't wait any longer, baby...I... I need to be inside you."

"Edward," I whimpered. "I need you, too_...._please." I was beyond coherent thought as the fire in my body blazed into an inferno centering between my legs.

I needed this man more than I ever thought humanly possible, and I needed him _now._

I pushed my hands into the waistband of his boxers and pushed at them frantically.

Edward shifted away, removing his fingers from me and sliding his hand from my pants.

I whimpered with the loss as he stood from the bed, toeing off his shoes and removing his socks before kicking his jeans and boxers off completely.

I took in his beautiful body as he straightened before climbing back on the bed and kneeling beside me, curling his fingers around the waistband of my pants.

I lifted myself up as he slid them over my hips and down my thighs achingly slow, teasing me until he finally removed them and tossed them to the floor.

Edward inhaled deeply. His eyes raked over my body as I lay before him naked.

I knew he could see my scar, and for the first time since the hysterectomy I was okay with someone seeing it and I smiled at him.

The crooked grin that pulled at his lips had me instantly wanton again.

"Please, Edward," I begged and watched the grin on his face fade as he covered my body with his once again.

I felt his tip press against me and I whimpered.

He growled as I wrapped my legs around his waist, digging my heels into his ass, pressing him closer to my entrance.

I ground my hips against his and couldn't stop the moan that escaped me at the friction as he slid across my sex.

"Fuck," he ground out as his head dropped to my shoulder and he inhaled deeply.

I ran my fingers through his hair as he raised his head again and looked deep into my eyes.

I knew he wanted to know if I was sure.

As much as he wanted this, _wanted me_, Edward's first thought was to ensure I was okay with taking this step.

I had never been more ready for anything in my life.

I nodded with a slow smile breaking on my face as I looked back at him.

This moment.....what we were about to do, was the one thing, the only thing, in a very long time where I knew exactly what I wanted.

I knew that I, that _we_, were making the right decision.

Edward's smile lit up his face.

He kissed me softly, tenderly, pushing inside me at the same time.

I gasped and my eyes widened as he filled me completely. The pleasure was immediately overwhelming.

My mind had forgotten how right he felt, but my body.....my body remembered this, remembered the completeness I felt when with Edward this way.

"Oh God, Bella....oh god..." Edward whispered against my lips as he entered me, pushing all the way in and freezing for only a moment in the pure euphoria as our bodies connected before he pulled out and pushed back in slowly.

Edward stroked my face with his fingertips, brushing the hair away and staring into my eyes as he set an agonizingly slow rhythm.

I raised my hips to meet each of his thrusts and I felt the tightening in the pit of my stomach.

My body burned with the intensity of my building orgasm.

"So good, Bella....god, you feel so good," Edward murmured as he bent his head, kissing down the column of my neck.

I rolled my head to the side to grant him better access.

"More, Edward....please," I begged and tightened my legs around his waist, pressing my body more firmly against his and opening myself so he could thrust deeper.

Edward buried his face into the crook of my neck as I ran my arms under his and my hands curled up his back, digging my fingers into the hard muscles of his shoulders.

I couldn't get enough of him.

I needed more as I met each movement of his hips with my own and he groaned into my neck.

Edward's rhythm quickened as I felt the white hot burn of my orgasm begin to grip my body.

"Oh God....Edward...oh..I..I...Edward," I cried out as the explosion of ecstasy overtook me.

I couldn't catch my breath with the intensity of it as my body quivered and tightened around him.

"Bella, oh....Bella....shit...ahhhh...ungh," I heard Edward's incoherent cries of pleasure as he pumped into me a few more times before his body went rigid and he exploded as he reached his release. He grunted my name as his orgasm overtook him and he collapsed on top of me, completely spent.

We lay for a long moment lost in the rapture of what had just happened.

I ran the fingers of one hand through his hair and absently stroked his back with the other.

Relishing the feeling of his body fully pressing mine into the mattress, I sighed.

Edward's head continued to lay in the crook of my neck as his hot breath blew across my chest, causing me to shiver and he chuckled.

He placed a gentle kiss at the hollow of my throat before slipping out of me and rolling onto his side.

Edward wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me flush with his body.

Entwining my legs with his, I snaked one arm around his middle.

Rubbing my nose back and forth in the coarse hair of his chest, I snuggled in close.

I sighed again with complete contentment.

"I missed you so much, Bella," he whispered as he tightened his arm around me, placing a kiss on the top of my head.

"I missed you, too," I whispered in response.

I turned to kiss his chest and settled against him once more, the rhythm of his heart completely relaxing my body with its sound.

"I thought you were in Mississippi," I questioned, but smiled as I hugged him even tighter to me and felt the shaking of his body with his laughter.

"Yeah, about that.....surprise," he said with a snicker.

I giggled and shook my head.

If I could crawl inside him right now, I would and never come out again.

A sense of rightness washed over me as I lay wrapped in Edward's embrace. I knew in my heart that this was exactly where I had always belonged. Here in Edward's arms I found my missing pieces, this was my home, and it was with this man.

Edward was here and I knew he always would be. My Edward had come back to me and beside me was where he would stay.

I wasn't sure how long we laid there wrapped in each others bodies, but I knew by his even breathing that he was very near sleep

"Edward..." I whispered into the darkness.

"Hmm," he hummed sleepily.

"Edward, I..." the words caught in my throat.

"What is it, darlin'?" Edward asked as he rolled onto his back and I scooted over to lay my head on his chest. He wrapped an arm around me pulling me tighter into his body.

I draped a leg across his thighs as I absently ran my hand through the light sprinkling of hair on his chest.

"I...I love you, Edward," I whispered so softly I wasn't sure if he heard me, but I felt his body stiffen and knew he had.

"Bella," he choked out as he shot up, reaching for the bedside lamp.

I sat up, holding the sheet to cover my naked chest as the light of the lamp flooded the room.

The emotion was clear on his face and in his eyes when he turned back to me.

Edward's hands were instantly cupping my face between his palms. I lifted a hand to wrap my fingers around his wrist, while the other held the sheet tightly to cover my body and closed my eyes.

Edward leaned his forehead against mine and I could hear his ragged breathing.

"Oh, Bella....you can't imagine how long I've wanted to hear you say those words....baby, I don't-"

I cut him off, opening my eyes and looking directly in his.

"I didn't say it because of what just happened, Edward. I...." I bit my lip nervously. "I've always loved you." I caressed his cheek and he leaned his face into my touch. "I just needed to learn to trust you again, to believe in us again....to believe in you.....and I do, Edward," I smiled. "I believe in you. I trust you. I know you love me and this," I gestured between the two of us, "_us, _this is right and I don't want to hold back anymore. I want it all.... I want it all with you, Edward."

The smile that spread across his face was more beautiful than anything I had ever seen.

"Oh, baby," he leaned in, kissing me softly before whispering against my lips, "thank you.....I love you so much, Bella."

Edward wrapped his arms around me, pulling me on top of him until I straddled his lap as he leaned against the headboard. I dropped the sheet and wrapped my arms around his neck and groaned as I came in contact with his once again very aroused member. He grinned up at me with that devilish twinkle in his eye and shrugged.

Pressing my lips to his, he gasped when I lifted myself and sheathed him inside my body once again.

~*~

My eyes fluttered open as I felt the most delicate caress of soft lips on my shoulder and neck. I couldn't stop the shudder than ran through my body at the rush of his warm breath as it washed over my skin.

"Good morning, my love," Edward whispered as he nipped at the shell of my ear.

"Mmmm...." I hummed with a smile breaking across my face. "It is a good morning," I whispered as I turned to face him and placed a kiss on the center of his chest before snuggling in closer to him and snaking one arm around his waist.

I giggled as the hair of Edward's chest tickled my nose. His arms tightened around me and I felt his contented sigh rumble in his chest.

"As bad as I hated to wake you, baby, we gotta get up." I felt his lips press into the top of my head.

"Can't we just stay right here?" I pouted. "I really don't want to get up just yet..." I felt the vibration of Edward's chuckle against my cheek.

"Hmm...I would love to stay in bed with you for the rest of....well, all the time really," he chuckled again, kissing my head and tightening his arms around me, hugging me tighter to him.

I reciprocated with snuggling further into his chest and pushing my knee between his legs.

He groaned as my thigh brushed against his growing erection.

I tried to bite back the groan of pleasure that threatened to escape as he ghosted his fingers over my flesh, slowly moving down to cup my ass and pull my hips fully into his own.

Gasping as he rocked his hips into mine, I looked up at him from under my lashes and he bent his head to bring our lips together in a slow, tender kiss.

I ran my hand back around his side to slide over his chest before lightly raking my nails back down, reveling in the feeling as his muscles contracted and trembled under my touch.

Edward rolled us until I lay on my back as he covered me with his body.

He moaned when I opened to him as he deepened the kiss, exploring my mouth with his tongue.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed them flat across his back to hold him as tightly as possible to me.

Groaning, Edward pulled back slightly, breaking our kiss and gently laying his forehead against mine.

"We really have to get up, baby..." his voice was deep and rough with his desire.

"Hmmm....I think," I paused, tilted my head to the side, and rocked my hips ever so slightly against his, gaining a very satisfying hiss from him. I cut my eyes down to the area where he lay between my thighs before looking back into his eyes with a smirk and continued, "somebody is already very much....up."

Edward's eyes widened before narrowing at me in a scowl.

"You....oh, you are an evil, evil woman," he growled.

"Well, maybe," I smiled coyly at him before running a single finger across his bottom lip, over his chin, and down the center of his chest, "you should....punish me for being bad."

I watched his eyes darken and knew I had won this battle as he crashed his lips to mine.

I groaned from the pleasure as he pushed inside of me and I once again felt the completeness that I couldn't find anywhere but here with him like this.

Two hours later, Edward was asleep as I slipped out of his arms to shower and get dressed.

I thought this day could not get any better as I stepped out of the shower with a triumphant grin on my face.

I dressed quickly and towel dried my hair before running a brush through the unruly mess.

I looked down on the beautiful man lying in my bed when I re-entered the bedroom.  
Edward had rolled onto his stomach, one arm was wrapped around my pillow and he had the most peaceful expression on his face.

The sheet just covered his ass and my eyes hungrily raked over the long muscular lines of his back. I shook my head at his perfection and the memory of those broad shoulders moving over me.

I turned and made my way out of the bedroom to order room service for us before returning to wake Edward. He hadn't moved from the position he was in on my way out of the room.

I knelt on the bed between his legs and pressed a kiss to the base of his spine, just above where the sheet covered his lower body, slowly making my way up his back with gentle kisses, I crawled over his body until I could lie fully atop him.

"Wake up, lover boy," I whispered into his ear as I slid my hands over his arms.

"Mmmm...I'm awake, baby. I was just enjoying you trying to wake me up," his voice was thick with sleep and I could see the corner of his mouth pull up in a smile, but he kept his eyes closed.

I giggled, moving back to sit on my heels and smacking his butt, "Well, then you need to get your lazy ass out of bed. We have to check out by eleven."

I turned to slip off the bed and squealed as Edwards arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me back on the bed to lie beside him.

"And just where do you think you're going, missy?" he laughed and kissed the tip of my nose.

"I'm going to pack my stuff up before room service gets here. You, mister, need to get up and take a shower so we can get on the road. Em and Laurent will be ready to go in a couple hours."

I saw a sheepish grin pass over his features and furrowed my brow in question.  
"What?" I asked when he didn't say anything.

"Well....what do you think about staying a few more days here...well not here," he gestured to the room, "but in Vegas."

"What?" I dumbly asked again.

He chuckled. "I said, would you like to stay a few more days here in Vegas with me, Bella?" He looked into my eyes with a hopeful expression and waited for my answer.

I was floored. I didn't expect him to be home for another week and so I still was reeling somewhat from his unexpected appearance last night. Now to know that he was not only here but wanted to spend a few days, just the two of us, here in Vegas was almost too much to even comprehend.

"I...wow...." I stammered. I couldn't want anything more at this moment than to spend some time with just the two of us. It had been a long three weeks and so much had happened over that time. I was overwhelmed at the prospect of a few days to just relax and enjoy each other. Edward mistook my inability to form the words to tell him how much I would love to spend some time with him alone and began letting me off the hook.

"Baby, we don't have to, I jus-" I pressed a finger to his lips to stop his retraction of the invitation.

"Edward, stop. I would love to spend some time here with you. There is nothing I would love more than to have time just you and I." I removed my finger and replaced it with my lips. Before our kiss could become anymore heated, there was a knock at the door and I giggled at his frustrated groan.

"Let me up. That's our breakfast, I'm sure."

I pushed on his shoulder, trying to get him to release his death grip around my waist, and laughed outright at the murderous scowl he threw at the door when the knock became a bit more insistent.

**  
EPOV**

I reluctantly released Bella so she could answer the door. Flopping back down on the bed, I enjoyed the view as I watched her walk out of the bedroom.

"ARGH!" I muffled the groan with her pillow as I felt myself growing hard again at the sight of her swaying hips. I could have sworn I heard her giggle from the hall as she made her way to get our breakfast.

There was absolutely no better feeling in the world than waking next to that woman this morning.

Last night had been the best of my life, bar none, and to wake with Bella, my Bella, naked and lying next to me....it was the most exquisite, exhilarating feeling I had ever experienced. Coupled with the fact that Bella had practically tackled me once she was over her initial shock of me standing in the door of her hotel room, it was the beginning of a night that was seared into my memory and my heart.

I was elated that she was surprised and obviously happy that I had just showed up at her door.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little apprehensive when she brought up the little white lie I told her about being in Mississippi earlier in the day when we spoke on the phone. I didn't think she would be upset that I was here, of course, but she might be a little miffed that I lied to her....

My heart skipped a beat waiting on her response to my excuse and I couldn't help the slightly nervous laugh that escaped me as she stared me down before laughing as well.

The last few days of the transition had gone better than the first weeks so I was able to finish up a couple days early.

As much as I was going to hate admitting it to Bella, I broke down and hired a company to come in and finish packing up my apartment. Of course she was totally right. They were very efficient and overly cautious with my belongings. I already had the more personal of my things in boxes before the company arrived to complete the packing. They were quick and had everything packed up on the moving truck within a day and a half.

The idea came to me to surprise Bella by coming here about the time I hit the Georgia/Alabama state line. I knew I would be arriving a few days ahead of schedule, so there was really no reason that I couldn't fly up and spend some time with her.

I started making phone calls to arrange a flight and then accommodations as soon as the idea occurred to me. Once I got home, Alice and Esme were over the moon that I was going to surprise Bella with flying into Vegas.

I was disappointed that I wasn't able to get here before the competition was over; I wanted to see Bella competing. I was so proud of her for doing exactly what she had been working so hard to accomplish. I watched her in her training sessions and knew how good she really was, so it wasn't a surprise to me when she called just before I was getting on the plane for Vegas to tell me she had won.

That's when I told her I was in Mississippi, even though I was actually standing in the airport in San Antonio waiting to board my flight to her. Bella was surprised at that point to find out that I was on my way home, but the look on her face when she opened the door to see me standing on the other side was indescribable. The emotions that played across her face and in her eyes were exactly what my heart had prayed would be there when we were together again.

Even though the more baser part of my brain and body had some really intense fantasies about how we would reunite, the reality was so much better.

I rolled out of bed and grabbed my bag on the way to the bathroom. A shower was most definitely in order after the night, and morning, Bella and I had shared. I couldn't have wiped the stupid grin off my face even if I had wanted to, which I didn't.

I grinned like a fool as I stood under the hot water, letting it relax the tight muscles of my back and shoulders as I thought about Bella saying the three little words I wanted to hear above all others coming from her lips.

When she told me she loved me, that she had always loved me, I thought my heart would surely burst from the emotions that were swelling in it at that moment. I waited so many years to have her tell me that again. Even though I had been a total dick for more of that time than I really cared to remember, even though I had lost sight of myself and pushed the feelings I held for her to the recesses of my heart, we found our way back to one another. Even when I hurt her more than she should be capable of forgiving me for, she loved me. When I lied to her in a way that wasn't even feasible in my current state of understanding, she loved me. And that.....that was more important to me than anything else in this world ever had been or ever would be. I couldn't wipe the stupid grin off my face as I stepped out of the shower and dressed quickly. As long as I had that woman by my side and she loved me.....everything else was superfluous.

I stopped dead in my tracks as I caught sight of Bella standing over the food cart that was obviously our breakfast. There was a song I didn't instantly recognize playing from the surround sound throughout the room.

I was mesmerized by the way Bella's body moved unconsciously to the music as she popped a piece of fruit into her mouth and perused the rest of the food on display.  
Her tight little ass was swaying back and forth. The low slung jeans were moving dangerously lower as she moved around as she bent her knees and rolled her hips in a sensual movement that took my breath away for a moment. She hummed softly along with the music and was completely unaware of my presence.

I loved seeing her uninhibited in this way and wanted her to never be any different than the beautiful creature that stood before me. I made a vow to myself to do everything in my power to ensure I made her that happy for the rest of our lives.  
I couldn't stand it another moment and crossed the room quickly before she could be alerted to the fact that I had been watching her little show. I wrapped my arms around her waist and began to sway along with her. She gasped and stiffened for a moment before melting into my body. I pushed the hair off her shoulder and bent to press an open mouthed kiss to the juncture of her shoulder and neck.

"How long have you been watching me?" Bella asked and I could hear the laughter in her voice.

"Long enough, my love," I murmured against her ear as I nuzzled her hair and ran one hand down the front of her thigh and back up to wrap around her waist, pulling her tighter into me. She hummed a low moan as she pressed her ass back into my groin.

"Mmm, that is going to get you into trouble, Ms. Swan," I warned.

"Oh is that so, Mr. Cullen," she teased. "I do believe you might be the one in trouble, more so than me."

And with that she pulled out of my arms, leaving me standing all alone with a problem indeed.

She turned and flashed her eyes from my very evident erection to meet my own narrowed gaze.

"You are a tease," I accused.

"Nope, I'm not," she giggled. "You started it and I told you that you were going to be in more trouble than me.....so that," she pointed at my groin, "is completely your own fault."

She smirked at me as my jaw came unhinged and my mouth popped open. This woman was a complete vixen and I couldn't be more happy.

"So, Mr. Cullen, do you think you can eat some breakfast? Or do you need to take care of....." she trailed off suggestively.

Yep, this woman is going to be the death of me, there is no doubt about it.

I glared at her in mock annoyance and she just giggled as she popped another piece of fruit in her mouth and chewed it slowly. I was completely hypnotized by the way her lips pursed as she chewed, tapping her chin trying to decide what item she wanted next. The way her throat bobbed as she swallowed....

_Okay, Cullen, seriously! You need to get a fucking grip, this is just ridiculous. You're fantasizing about her eating and swallowing, now? Really? _

I shook my head and ran a hand through my hair to try to clear the fog of lust that was completely overtaking any rational thought processes.

Once I got some semblance of control over myself, we had a really nice breakfast together. Bella was interested in knowing how it was that I was able to come home so much earlier than originally planned so I filled her in on how that came about. Of course she gloated a little, although she controlled it pretty well, only giving me one 'I told you so' on the hiring of the moving company. She gave me the details of the investigation into the poisoning up to what she had been told the last time she spoke with Investigator Brooks. It seemed that they were in the process of setting up a meeting between an informant and the person that they suspected to be the one responsible for the poisonings. The investigator wouldn't go into detail more than to say that they were close to getting the information they needed to make an arrest. For now Bella seemed satisfied that at least there was a true suspect and the authorities were close to apprehending someone, even though I could tell she was intensely frustrated with not having all the details.

Since Bella still had a few things to pack I told her to finish up and I would go get us checked out.

I had a few more surprises for Bella that she wasn't aware of yet. She knew that we wouldn't be staying at the South Point, but she had no idea I had made reservations for one of the Villa's at the Bellagio for the next four days. Today we were going to relax once we got checked and maybe do a little shopping later this afternoon.

I wanted to surprise her with seeing a play our last night here, and I knew she hadn't brought any dresses or anything more formal with her for the event. So I would get to take her shopping to purchase a few things. I figured she'd be pissed that I was kind of tricking her into a shopping trip and that I was planning on paying for everything. If I knew her, and I felt assured that I did, Bella would be more upset that I was insisting on paying for everything than anything else. I knew she had the money to pay her own way, but I wanted to do it. Maybe that was old fashioned, but it made me feel as if I was taking care of her, at least monetarily. I was working on the rest.

Making my way across the lobby toward the front desk to check out, I ran into Emmett, Charlie, Carlisle, and Jasper.

"Holly Hell, what are you doing here?" Emmett bellowed as I looked up to see all of their smiling, if not somewhat shocked, faces.

My father and brother in law had flown in for the auction. They didn't have anything ready for competition this go round as the one colt Jasper had been working pulled up lame a few days prior to when they were scheduled to leave. I had taken time to do a quick exam before heading out for the airport and it wasn't anything serious, just over worked muscles which would heal with some stall rest and soakings, along with some selenium and vitamin E supplements to help the muscles repair quicker. It wasn't uncommon for the more muscular Quarter horses who performed at this level to have something like this type injury and basically it just took time to recoup.

I laughed and rubbed the back of my neck, looking up at them sheepishly. "I sort of flew in last night and surprised Bella."

Jasper slapped me on the back, laughing. "Damn son, I didn't think you had it in you to do something so smart."

The others uproarious laughter in the past might have pissed me off, but today I just laughed along with them. I was far too happy at the moment to let a little ribbing from my brother in law get under my skin.

They were actually all doing the same thing I was, each checking out of their rooms. We all walked over to the front desk together, carrying on small talk about the event and the deal that was made with the Volturi brothers. Emmett was beside himself with what he and Bella had worked out for training and the purchase of Raven. The purchase alone was undeniably a huge accomplishment. And the recognition that would come to Bella and the ranch with the training contract was immeasurable. She really had put them on the map and I couldn't be happier for all of them.

Jasper and Carlisle had purchased a few new additions for the ranch which would be trailered in by the company that my father always used for long haul shipping of our livestock. Emmett and Laurent were leaving shortly to make the long ass trip back home while the rest of the clan flew out together. Although it wasn't planned, Carlisle, Jasper, Charlie, and Renee wound up on the same return flight to San Antonio. I explained to them that Bella and I were planning on spending a few more days in Vegas. They were all a little surprised, but I could also tell they were really happy that Bella and I seemed to be working our issues out.

Renee joined us in the lobby shortly after we all finished checking out and was just as surprised as the others to see me. But Renee being Renee, she also had that knowing mother's smile as if she had expected that I might do something like this. She hugged me and whispered her encouragement before she followed Charlie out of the hotel.

As the others left to go their separate ways, Emmett called to me just before I stepped on the elevator to return to Bella.

"Hey, Edward."

I stopped and turned to look at Emmett, he wore a serious look on his face and for a moment I was concerned he was upset about me being here with Bella. Maybe he really did feel we had moved too quickly.

"Yeah, Em, what's up?" I tried to keep my voice even, but inside I was nervous as hell as I walked back to where he stood near a grouping of overstuffed chairs.

He ran his hands over his face before looking me square in the eye. "I....we need to talk."

"Oh-kay," I was really becoming concerned now about the tenor of this conversation.

"Can we sit down just a minute?" Emmett gestured to the grouping of chairs just behind him and moved around the one closest to sit down. He was running a hand through his hair.

"Sure, Em....is there something wrong?" I asked as I took a seat in the chair opposite the one he sat in.

"Huh? Oh..uh, no, not really. Look, I'm not going to beat around the bush here, there's two things I want to talk to you about. The first really isn't any of my business but....."

"Look, Emmett, you know how I feel about Bella, so if that's where this conversation is headed you can save the time. I love her, you know that and I-"

He cut me off before I could continue. "No...well yeah, that's part of it and like I said it's not any of my business. Bella's a grown woman and she's going to kick my ass if she finds out I talked to you about anything between the two of you. But Edward, man, she's my sister and I can't see her go through the shit that she's been through over the last few years. This investigation thing and then Rosie getting pregnant has about done her in...which I know you are more than aware of," he held up his hand and shook his head to stave off my rebuttal. "I know, okay. I know how you feel about her and I know how she feels about you so that's not the issue, just.....God, Edward, are you sure this time? Are you sure that you're not going to freak out over something and decide that she's better off without you again? Because I....she can't take that again, Edward. And as much as I want to see you two together....honest to God I want the best for her, and she seems to think that's with you, but if you're going to... if you can't be what she needs…"

Emmett was sincere. He truly just wanted Bella to be okay, and as much as I wanted to be angry that he was questioning my intentions, I couldn't. At the end of the day, everything he asked was a valid concern. I had always loved Bella and yet I made the stupid mistake of walking away from her anyway, and I realized yet again that Bella's trust was not the only one that I had to work for....her family, my family were still uncertain of what I would do if things became difficult.

I took a deep breath before I addressed his concerns.

"Emmett, you are my very best friend and I can understand why you're concerned about Bella and I being together again....but I can assure you that I will never walk away from your sister again. I learned my lesson. I can't live in a world where she is not a part of my life, not anymore. There is nothing that will take her away from me again, not even myself. I understand why you can't really trust that I'm telling the truth, but I swear to you, Em, I am not going to hurt her like that again. I'm here for the long haul. I'm not walking again."

I looked him in the eye the entire time I was speaking, hoping that he could see the truth of my words. I could only pray that he did and would in time trust me where Bella was concerned, but I knew that was something that I had to earn.  
Emmett stared me down for an uncomfortably long moment before a smile spread across his face and he nodded his head.

"Okay, I'm gonna pray to God that you're telling me the truth and I really think you are....but as her brother, I'm gonna warn you, best friend or not, if you hurt her again I will personally hunt you down this time and beat your ass. Do I make myself clear?" Even though the smile was still on his face, I knew he was completely serious.

"Crystal, Emmett, and you would be welcome to kick my ass if I am ever that stupid again, which I won't be." I returned his smile, hoping to get my point across as well that I would never be able to do anything that would hurt Bella in that way again.  
Emmett slapped his big hands together, rubbing them vigorously against one another before he moved on to the second item of business he mentioned.

"Well, since we have that ugliness out of the way, I wanted to ask you what your intentions for employment were now that you'll be sticking around for the duration."

"Uh...well, I sent out a few résumé's to some of the local large animal vets in the area. I had an interview before I left and I've got a few set up when I get back. I just want to go into private practice now. I'm done with the research aspect. I want to actually use my skills, not sit behind a microscope all day."

Though I really enjoyed the years I spent in research, I had become restless with the monotony of it and was ready to be out in the field using the knowledge that I had actually gone to school to do.

"Good, that's what I wanted to hear. So here's what I've been thinking, and I haven't mentioned this to Bella so she'll be pissed about that, but whatever...if you say yes she'll get over it. But okay.... so here's the deal, I wanted to see how interested you would be in taking over as the on staff vet for the ranch. You would take over the breeding program with Bella and then of course all the other stuff that goes along with working a ranch like ours. Interested?"

I was speechless. Interested? Was he serious?

Of course I would want to take that opportunity. I had already spoken with Carlisle about the possibility of taking over on our ranch and between the two that would keep me busy for a long time to come. I wouldn't need to go through the interviews I had set up if I was taking care of both ranches.

I smiled at Emmett and nodded my head.

"Hell yeah I'm interested, Emmett. But I think I need to talk to Bella about this first. I mean, of course I want to take the position, but I want to make sure she's comfortable with me doing that before I say yes."

"Well, yeah, I can understand that....shit, she's going to kill me for not talking to her about this..... but I can't imagine that she would be opposed to it, especially now." Emmett smirked at me before standing and clapping a big hand on my shoulder. "I really am happy for you both, Edward."

I stood as well before saying, "I know, Emmett, and I appreciate your position about all this. And thank you for the offer. I'll talk with Bella over the next couple of days and we'll let you know when we get back home. How's that sound?"

"That sounds like a good plan, man." Emmett extended his hand and I took it before he pulled me into a one armed hug. "Tell Bella I'll talk to her later, okay?"

"Sure thing, Em. You guys be careful."

We separated then as Emmett made his way out of the hotel to meet with Laurent and pick up the horses at the arena.

An hour and a half later, Bella and I were finally alone in our Villa at the Bellagio.

As I expected, Bella was pissed that I already paid for the room and refused to let her reimburse me for any of her stay at the South Point. I tried to explain to her it was my idea to upgrade her room and therefore it was my place to pay for it, just as it was my duty to pay for our accommodations for the next few days since I had invited her to stay with me.

"Are you going to stay mad at me the whole time we're here, baby? 'Cause it's really going to cut into the plans I had for the next couple days if you're not speaking to me." I teased as I walked into the bedroom where she sat in the middle of our bed, her long legs folded under her.

She glared at me, "Yep, I was planning on it."

"Aw, Bella, come on. You can't stay mad at me just because I paid for our room," I whined as I crawled up the bed towards her.

Bella snorted in annoyance as I laid my head in her lap and wrapped one arm behind her back. She was soon running her fingers through my hair and my eyes involuntarily closed.

"Yes, I can," she snapped, but her voice was soft so I knew she wasn't as mad as she wanted me to believe.

The feel of her fingers in my hair was like heaven and she didn't stop scratching lightly over my scalp, though she was trying to continue with the annoyed act.

"No, you can't," I half moaned as she increased the pressure of her fingertips.

"Well, how about we make a deal then?" she asked and my eyes snapped open, but then narrowed as I took in the evil grin on her face.

"What kind of deal? And before you even get started, you are not paying for dinner tonight and I am buying you an outfit for our plans later this week."

Bella's mouth fell open. She huffed loudly before shoving my head out of her lap and jumping off the bed. I couldn't help but chuckle at her and that didn't help my case at all as she shot me a death glare.

"You, Edward Anthony, are impossible," she seethed over her shoulder as she crossed to the dresser.

"Where are you going, my love?" I called as I rolled on my stomach and propped my chin on my folded arms.

Bella grabbed a few things from the dresser and made her way toward the bathroom.

"I'm going to take a bath. That tub in there," she pointed to the bathroom door, "is amazing and I am going to take full advantage of it while I'm here."

"Hmm...." I smirked. "I think I could stand a hot bath myself, care if I join?"

She stopped dead in her tracks with her back to me.

I could see that her breathing had sped up and was a bit more shallow than it had been a second ago.

She turned to face me and completely took my breath away.

Bella's eyes were bright and her face was flushed, I don't know if I have ever seen her look more beautiful than at that moment.

* * *

**A/N: Again to all you who have reviewed thank you from the bottom of my heart. I can't tell you what it means to me to receive your love and thoughts for this story. Thank you isn't really enough. To those who have favorited, rec'd or alerted MMB thank you. **

**So our couple is back together and hmmm a few ILY were thrown around in there as well...you all knew she loved him, she always has. ;)**

** I hope you enjoyed the movement of their relationship forward. I hope you all know that Bella isn't _really_ upset with Edward....remember MMB Bella isn't unable to pay her own way.**

** Next chapter will be their time together in Vegas. Jessica and I have a few really fun things worked out for these two to do.....**

**I'm working on getting back to a once a week posting schedule and as I said with the last chapter the posting day will be moving to Monday. There is a teaser for Ch 21 on The Fictionators, go check it out. **

**I also want to thank heatherdawnc for bidding and winning an MMB outtake in the Fandom Gives Back auction. There will be some Highschool antics from our favorite couple coming from her winning bid. If you've alerted the MMB outtakes then you will be able to see that once it is available. **

**Thanks again to all of you for reading my musings. ILY all.....xoxoxoxoxo**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:  
**

**Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving Holiday and for those nutty enough (like myself) that brave Black Friday I hope you all came out of that craziness in one piece. **

**Huge thanks to my wonderful, amazing, awesomesauce beta Jessica1971. She's worked her magic once again. **

**One more PSA and then we're on to the chapter. MMB is nominated for an award at The Silent Tears Awards for best enduring love. Voting is now open. Please go vote at **http://silent-tear-awards(dot)webs(dot)com/

**I have no allusions of grandeur because my little story is up against some big time names over there but I would appreciate your votes all the same. So thank you ahead of time. **

**Music for this chapter: To love somebody by Blue Rodeo. Your Everything by Keith Urban. No one by Alicia Keys. Lost by Micheal Buble.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns...I do not. No copyright infringement intended.**

* * *

Chapter 21

EPOV

The smirk I wore only a moment ago fell from my face as I sat straight up on the bed, swinging my legs over the edge and taking in the look Bella was giving me.  
My heart rate picked up significantly in anticipation of what I hoped she was promising by looking at me like that.

If it meant what I hoped it did......

Our eyes locked as I slowly stood from the bed.

Bella continued to stare into my eyes, only watching as I made my way across the room to her. When I was merely inches from her, I wrapped my arms around her small waist, pulling her into me, and bent to press my lips to hers gently. Dropping the items she held and placing her hands on my chest, she whimpered softly and leaned into me. Running her hands over my chest and into my hair, she sucked my bottom lip into her mouth. I couldn't quiet the moan that escaped me at the feeling of her teeth grazing my lip, nipping, teasing as our kiss deepened.

I carefully began walking her backwards through the bathroom door and toward the gigantic garden tub. Breaking the kiss as we entered the room, Bella opened her eyes and smiled a sweet innocent smile.

When Bella looked up at me with those big doe eyes and that smile on her perfect lips, I was completely entranced. I couldn't stop myself as I cupped her face between my palms and leaned in for one more kiss.

Pulling away from her, I kept my eyes closed trying to find some semblance of composure.

"Don't move," I instructed, opening my eyes and looking into the deep brown that continued to captivate me. I ran my hands down her neck, over her shoulders and down both arms, entwining our fingers and pressing a kiss to her forehead. I took a deep breath of her intoxicating scent before turning to begin filling the tub.

I noticed there were several bath oil choices. I quickly chose one and poured a generous amount in the water. The scent of vanilla filled the air as the hot water and oils mixed.

I returned to Bella where I left her standing against the vanity. I smiled when she had not moved a muscle just as I had asked she still wore that same sweet smile upon her face.

As I lifted the T shirt over her head, my breath caught when her beautiful body was revealed to me once again. Although it had only been a few hours since we were wrapped around one another, my body was calling for hers in completely unholy ways.

Bella giggled as I danced my fingers down her ribs. I smirked because I had forgotten that little bit of information about my Bella. The look she shot me was more than enough warning that I would be sorry if I decided to pursue reminding myself how ticklish she really was.

I continued my path around to unclasp her bra and she shrugged out of it, letting it fall to the floor. The sight that I beheld at that moment surely would open the gates of heaven from the beauty of Bella's breasts when they were revealed to me. I took a deep breath as I fought with the urge to feel their weight, running my hands over her soft skin, only grazing the outside of both breasts then down to the small of her back. I flattened my palms to slide around her tiny waist; my fingers worked the button of her jeans open.

Slowly, I lowered the zipper.

My heart was pounding in my chest and I could see Bella's chest rising and falling rapidly, her breaths coming in short gasps. Bella moaned as I ran my hands along the top of her hips and dipped my fingers into the waistband slowly pushing the denim, along with her panties, over her hips. I knelt before her as I pushed them down her legs. She placed her hands on my shoulders to balance as she stepped out.  
Once all her clothing was discarded, I wrapped my fingers around the back of her calves and caressed the muscles there.

Long hours in the saddle had toned her stunningly beautiful legs. They were strong, muscular, shapely, and completely bewitching.

I watched my hands as they ascended to her thighs.

It had not escaped my notice that Bella was comfortable allowing me to see her completely naked.

I was well aware that she was self conscious about her body after everything she had been through. Last night as she lay before me on the bed, she lost that inhibition with me and that made my heart stutter and swell with love for this woman. Bella was truly letting go and trusting me, she was accepting my love and returning it to me. I was overcome for a moment in that realization and worked to hold back the emotions that evoked in me for several moments.

_My Bella._ She was truly becoming mine again. Taking a deep breath through my nose, I whispered, "so beautiful." I leaned in, kissing her abdomen as finally my palms reached her hips, and I caressed the soft skin just above her hip bone with my thumbs.

I stood and Bella's hands slid from my shoulders to my chest. She began working a button on my shirt. Covering her hand with my own, I shook my head. She quirked an eyebrow and looked at me questioningly, I just smirked. Stepping behind her and grabbing one of her hair clips off the counter I ran my hands over her soft chestnut tresses before twisting it into a knot on top her head and clipping it in place. Bella smiled at me as I laced her fingers with mine, and led her to the tub.

I turned the steaming water off and turned to Bella, motioning for her to enter the tub.

She stepped into the tub, continuing to look at me but never speaking the question I could see in her eyes.

I stepped back from the tub and began removing my clothes. Bella smiled as I slid into the water behind her.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her back to settle into my chest. She sighed contentedly, placing her hands on my upper leg which lay beside hers in the water.

Moving my hands to her tiny shoulders, I began massaging the tight muscles there. The stress of the competition and all that she was dealing with had her body tense.  
"So....." I murmured against her hair and kissed the area just below her ear. "Does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

She scoffed then sighed, leaning further back into my chest. "Edward....I wasn't mad at you." Her voice trailed off as I drifted my hands down over her upper arms and back to her shoulders and neck, applying just enough pressure to work out the tight knots of her muscles.

"Mmm....that feels so good," she breathed.

Bella lolled her head back against my shoulder and her eyes fluttered open to look up at me. I smiled down at her before kissing her perfect pouty lips, wrapping my arms around her middle and pulling her tightly to me before breaking our kiss. We sat relaxing in the vanilla scented bubbles for a long moment, just enjoying the intimacy of this setting. I still felt a bit overwhelmed with everything that had transpired over the last twenty-four hours. From surprising Bella and the amazing night we spent together, having Bella finally tell me that she loved me, and agreeing to stay with me a few more days for some one on one time, to Emmett's offer of working for him and Bella. I was reeling slightly from all of it.

Bella's hands were absently running up and down the muscle of my thighs and the sensation quickly had my attention in more ways than one. I flattened a palm over the supple skin of her abdomen and slowly slid it up until I cupped one breast. Nuzzling her hair, I smiled when her breath hitched as I caught her taut nipple, rolling it between my finger and thumb.

"Mmmm.....I can't think straight when you do that," she breathed and her fingers bit into my skin as she gripped my legs. I chuckled, kissing down her neck.

"When I do what, darlin?" I whispered as I dragged my lips down her shoulder, my tongue darting out to lick and taste her sweet skin. Continuing to tease her breast, my other hand slowly made its way south.

"Ah....th-that..." she stammered.

"Well, maybe if you're not thinking straight you'll forget about being upset with me," I teased.

"I'm not upset with you, Edward..." she paused as my fingers grazed the outside of her sex to run down the inside of her thigh as far as I could reach. She opened her legs to me and rocked her hips, pressing her back even tighter into my chest, the movement creating a most enjoyable friction and causing me to groan at the feeling.

Bella's voice was little more than a whisper as she spoke, "I Just don't want you to think that you have to do those types of things or that......unh......that I expect you to....I can pay my own way, Edward....I....oh my God...." Her breathing picked up and I could feel her heart pounding as I brought my hand back up the inside of her thigh until I reached the very edge of the apex of her leg.

"I love you, Bella," I whispered as I slid a finger over her clit, gaining another breathy moan.

"I know, Edward.....oh...I love you...too," she sighed.

I bent my head down for a kiss before murmuring against her lips, "I only want to make you happy, baby." I kissed her again, slowly deepening the kiss as I moved my hand lower to tease her entrance with the tip of one finger.

"Ah...." she broke our kiss, her eyes heavy lidded as she looked at me through her lashes. "God, Edward....you do....you make me happy...you...you don't have to spend money like that to make me happy." A whimper escaped her beautiful lips as my finger slid further into her and I rubbed her clit with the palm of my hand, slowly pulling my finger back out. Her fingers tightened around my thighs as she rocked her hips along with the rhythm I set with my hand.

"I know that, baby, but I want to. I like being able to give you things. I know I don't have to," I kissed her shoulder as I continued to tease her breast at the same time I added another finger inside her, "but I want to. You deserve to be treated with gifts and I can....so let me, please...." I whispered as my lips found her pulse point, sucking the skin for only a moment, not wanting to leave a mark just yet. "It makes me happy, Bella, to do those things."

"Ungh, Edward...." Bella moaned and I felt her body begin to tremble under my ministrations.

I smirked and couldn't help but have a feeling of accomplishment knowing that I could bring her pleasure, that she was not only opening her body but also her heart to me again.

I wrapped one arm around her, holding her tightly to me as she cried out and came undone.

"Bella, you're the most beautiful creature.....that was the single most amazing thing I have ever witnessed," I murmured placing open mouthed kisses along her neck, as she came down from her orgasm.

Bella's eyes fluttered open and she looked at me with such deep emotion that I was stunned silent. A slow smile spread across her face before she turned in my arms and kissed me with more passion than I knew was possible.

She began to slide her hands down my chest and over my abdomen. My breath caught and a very audible groan escaped me as I realized where she was going with those hands. Bella smirked as she sat back a little further, her thighs on either side of mine. I moaned as her tiny hands wrapped around my aching erection. This was quickly becoming much more than I had anticipated....well that's not entirely true, I had very much hoped that we would reach this point, but....

"Oh God, Bella." My head fell back against the tub with a thud and my eyes closed as she set a slow tantalizing rhythm with her hand. I felt her lean forward in my lap and her warm breath on my cheek.

"I want to make you feel good, too, baby." Her voice was low and unbelievably sexy as she whispered in my ear.

"Uhnnnn.....you...I." I couldn't form a coherent thought, much less a sentence, as she stroked me.

"Not so easy to concentrate, is it, love?" Bella spoke against my skin as she nipped and licked her way down my neck.

I couldn't speak, I just shook my head. My hands which had been caressing the supple skin from her knees to her thighs shot to her hips as I got closer to my release.

"I need you, Edward...." she breathed against my chest, continuing to drive me insane with her hands and her mouth.  
"Oh....God, Bella, I..." another guttural moan left me as she ran her thumb over the head of my dick.

I felt her body shift away. My eyes were still closed and before I could even wrap my brain around what was she was doing, I felt her warm body engulf me. My eyes flew open to find the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.

Bella's eyes were hooded with lust and she had the most incredibly innocent look upon her face.

_How the hell can she look that innocent when she's...._

"Bella," I whispered her name reverently as my fingers bit into her hips, guiding her movements up and down my shaft. "God, baby, that feels so...ungh, so good...." I could feel the tightening in my abdomen and knew my release was close. I was trying to hold on....but Oh My God, she felt so good.

Bella leaned her body back just slightly and the new angle created a delicious new feeling. I could feel her walls begin to tighten and her movements became more frantic. I couldn't take my eyes away from her beautiful face. Watching her get closer and closer to her end was the most erotic thing I ever witnessed. Running my hands gently up her sides, I cupped her breasts and slid my thumbs over her tight nipples.

"Oh, God, Edward......yes....oh....I," her hands were buried in her own hair, her head falling back on her shoulders as she moved on top of me. I captured her nipples between my forefinger and thumb, eliciting a sexy moan from my Bella.

I couldn't resist....they were right fucking there. Dropping one hand back to her hip, I leaned forward and sucked the pert pink nipple into my mouth. Bella cried out and her hands were in my hair, holding me to her as she arched her back, pushing her chest toward me. Bella's body went rigid as her orgasm overtook her and I pulled my mouth from her nipple. Her strangled cry of my name was my complete undoing as I thrust into her and came harder than ever before in my life.

"Wow," she giggled as she fell against my chest and I wrapped my arms around her.

"Baby, that was.....holy god, I can't even describe what that was," I chuckled and kissed the top of her head. We sat there wrapped in each others embrace for a long moment before I realized the water had cooled considerably and that I still wanted to take Bella out shopping. "Darlin', as much as I really don't want to move from this spot, I want to take you out, and if we don't go now we're never going to get out of this tub, much less the room."

Bella sat up and looked into my eyes, her hands framed my face as she smiled and nodded before leaning in for a kiss.

She took a deep breath and with a smirk on those perfect lips, she said, "So....where are you taking me shopping?"

I chuckled and pulled her in to hug her as she laughed.

~*~

BPOV

I sat up a little so Edward could slip out of my body and slid backwards off his lap so he could step out of the tub. I realized the water had cooled off considerably and he was right, if we didn't go now we would never make it out of the room. Not that I would complain if we were locked up here just the two of us for the next fours days. No, I certainly would _not_ be complaining about being cooped up with Edward for four fabulous days, especially if we could do what we had just done again and again. I smiled at the thought of spending that kind of time, just Edward and I, the images running through my mind were....

"Oh my God, Edward," I cried as I heard a god awful commotion. I had been so lost in my daydreams that I didn't see him fall but obviously we had splashed quite a bit of water out of the tub. When Edward stepped out he slipped and was now lying on his back on the tile floor with one arm thrown over his eyes, the other resting on his chest. "Edward! Are you okay?"

I scrambled up on my knees and started trying to get out of the tub, "Edward! Oh God, please say something."

Edward raised a hand to stop me before I got out of the tub, "Don't move, Bella. I'm fine. Nothing hurt here but my ego......just don't get out yet, you'll break your neck."  
I snorted a laugh and he moved his arm from his eyes as they flashed open to look at me.

"Don't look at me like that." I stifled the urge to giggle at his obvious annoyance. "You're the one laying on your back on the floor." I couldn't hold it in and a little giggle bubbled out and he glared at me. He was not amused and that only made me giggle more. As long as he wasn't really hurt, it was absolutely the funniest thing I had ever seen.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I questioned, still trying to hold back the laughter.

"I'm fine." He sat up and took a deep breath. "Just.....just let me put some towels down so you don't bust your ass, too." He stood and grabbed a towel from the shelf, wrapping it around his waist while throwing a couple more on the floor. I folded my forearms on the side of the tub, resting my chin on my arms and watching silently as he made sure all the water was soaked up before offering me his hand. Edward held a fluffy white towel in his other hand which he wrapped around my body once I was standing on the towel covered floor before him.

My eyes hungrily raked over his toned chest and abdomen. The towel may have been covering his lower regions, but I knew what was under the little bit of cotton and that had my body humming with need.

I reached out and placed my hands on his hips. "Hey," I said, looking up at him through my lashes, "I didn't mean to laugh. Are you okay, really?"

Edward smoothed a hand over my crazy mess of hair that he had piled on top of my head, curling his fingers around my neck as he leaned in to place a kiss on my forehead.

"I'm fine, I swear. A little bruised ass and ego, but otherwise I'm fine." Edward smiled at me but I could tell he was still a little miffed.

"Edward, I'm sorry I laughed. I...." I didn't mean to upset him. I've fallen so many times in my life that it's just natural to laugh about it, because really what else could you do?

Edward laughed lightly and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest.  
"I'm not mad, Bella. I'm embarrassed, but I'm not mad." I felt him press a kiss to the top of my head and breathed a sigh of relief. I hadn't meant to embarrass him more by laughing.

I watched as Edward walked out of the bathroom to dress. It still felt like a dream that he was really here and that we were doing _this_....that we were together and he was _mine_. He truly was a beautiful man, and his beauty was much more than just his physical being. I shook my head, trying to clear the fog, and prayed that I really wasn't dreaming, and if I were.....well I would pray that I never woke up. I knew he understood that I wasn't mad earlier, not really anyway, about the room and all the wonderful things he was giving me. He didn't have to give me gifts or pay for things to win my heart. He held my heart in the palm of his hand so there was really no reason for all the grand gestures. I wasn't trying to be ungrateful; I just didn't want him to think he _had_ to do those things. And now I hoped that he was being truthful and wasn't really mad at me, either.

I sighed as I let my hair down, tossed the clip onto the counter and picked up my brush, trying to run through the ungodly mop that was supposed to be hair on some level. Once I had it under some mockery of control and pulled into a neat bun at the nape of my neck, I walked into the bedroom hoping Edward would be there waiting for me. My brow furrowed a bit when he wasn't anywhere in our room. I dressed in a pair of faded dark wash jeans, a tank and my favorite brown boots. I grabbed my sunglasses and a large bangle bracelet from the dresser on my way out to find Edward.

"Edward?" I called when I didn't find him in the main area or the kitchen as I suspected.

I didn't get a response and I began to become a little concerned until I caught a flash from the corner of my eye. The french door to the patio and pool area was ajar and a slight breeze was blowing the gauzy curtains. The warm mid-afternoon air blowing off the desert was dry as I opened the door completely and called his name again, seeing him sitting in a shaded area in the corner of the patio. I paused for a moment to take him in. Edward sat in one of the cushioned patio chairs with his long legs stretched out in front of him crossed at the ankle, his head resting against the back of the chair, eyes closed, his hair an amazing mess, hands lying on his abdomen with his long graceful fingers linked. The sleeves of his black button down were rolled up, exposing his sinewy forearms. The worn denim of his jeans made my fingers itch in anticipation of touching the buttery softness in contrast to the hard lean muscle underneath. To the casual bystander, Edward would appear as though he was the picture of relaxation, but to me.....there was a slight tension to his face that I was unsure what caused it to be there. I just wanted to be close to him, to touch him. I crossed the patio and called his name gently, touching his arm with my fingertips.

"Edward?" He looked up at me and smiled before offering a hand.

I took his outstretched hand and allowed him to pull me down to straddle his lap, wrapping his arms around me in a hug and burying his face in the crook of my neck. Snaking my arms under his, around his back, and leaning into him I asked, "Edward, please tell me you're not mad at me?"

He shook his head with his eyes closed but didn't answer.

"Edward, baby, what's wrong?"

I sat up and cupped his face between my palms, running my thumbs over his cheekbones. Leaning in, I kissed his full lips, soft and chaste, before sitting back to look into his face, willing him to open his eyes and look at me. My heart was pounding in my chest at the thought that he was really upset with me.

After what felt like forever, slowly his eyes opened to me and I felt as if I were looking at Edward's soul.

"I love you so much," he whispered.

"I love you, too, Edward." I quirked an eyebrow, questioning him about what was going on without actually speaking the words.

"Baby, I could not be mad at you.....I'm so happy right now, I couldn't be mad at _you_ if I tried. I-I just can't wrap my head around the fact that you're here in my arms. That I can touch you," Edward reached up to caress my cheek, "that you love me. Bella, I've missed you so much," his voice, though it was little more than a whisper, caught with emotion and I could feel the stinging of tears in my eyes. I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my face into his neck.

"I've missed you, too, Edward. I do love you....so much, and I'm here. I don't ever want to be anywhere else." I sighed heavily and shook my head minutely.

"What?" Edward questioned, his forehead resting on my shoulder.

"Well, I was just thinking...." I took a breath, trying to quell the overwhelming emotions that were coursing through my body and sat up to look into his eyes. "Before I came out here, about how I felt this," I gestured between the two of us and then waving my arm to indicate where we were sitting. "Must all be a dream and I was praying that if it was that I didn't wake up. So I guess we're both on the same page there, huh?" I quirked an eyebrow and smiled.

Edward let out a low chuckle, kissing my neck before pulling back and smiling with my favorite lopsided grin.

"Yeah, I guess we are, baby." His hands framed my face and I leaned into his warm lips for a passionate kiss.

When we broke apart I leaned my forehead against his, with eyes closed I smiled at the pure joy that washed over me. How could I not be completely overjoyed with where we were? I would be certifiably insane not to realize what a gift I, _we_, had been given. After so many years of heartache and misunderstanding between us we were finally in a good place. There were many things that we needed to work through, but right now.....I only wanted to enjoy being in the here and now.

"So...what did you have planned first, Mr. Cullen?" I asked as I sat back a bit further in Edward's lap, putting some distance between our bodies.

"Hmmm....." Edward leaned up for a quick kiss. "I thought that we could go over to The Grand Canal Shoppes and then have a late lunch at one of the restaurants there. Then just see what happens from there, how's that sound?"

I smiled, "That sounds absolutely....perfect." I chastely kissed his lips once more before hopping off his lap and taking both his hands, pulling him to stand before me. Edward wrapped me in a hug and pressed a kiss on the top of my head.

"Mmmm......alright, sweetheart....lets get going before I haul you back into the room and have my wicked way with you," he chuckled.

I pulled back slightly and smirked at him with a raised eyebrow, "You think I would complain about that?"

Edward laughed outright before saying, "No, probably not.....come on."

He turned and took my hand leading us out of our villa.

~*~

"Oh my God, Edward...this is beautiful." I gasped as I took in the overwhelming sight of the 'village' that comprised the Grand Canal Shoppes inside The Venetian resort. As we walked through the lobby of the resort, I held Edward's hand more tightly as I couldn't take my eyes off the paintings on the ceiling and the gracefulness of the arched windows and doorways.

The unbelievably beautiful buildings and cobblestone walkway representative of what you would find if you truly were in Venice took my breath away as we made our way into the pathway of the shopping area. The ceiling was painted to look as though you were under the bluest of blue skies, giving the feeling of being outside.

I looked at Edward as I heard his deep chuckle.

"What?" I asked.

He shook his head and smirked, "Nothing."

"Don't say 'nothing', you're laughing at me. What?" I pulled on his hand to stop him, smiling up at him as he turned toward me and I placed my free hand on his chest.

"It's just.....you're just so damned cute. Have you not been here before? I mean, I guess......I thought with all the times you've been to Las Vegas for horse shows you would have been in here."

I shook my head and my smile fell just a little.

"No, Edward. I haven't been here. When....Tyler really wasn't into the whole 'Vegas' thing. So when we came for shows he didn't want to do any sight seeing and I really never wanted to go by myself, so...."

I dropped my eyes to Edward's chest and played with a button on his shirt. My mind went back to the many times I asked Tyler to explore all the attractions available here. I had tried to get him to agree to come to Vegas with me just for a weekend getaway, just the two of us. He always had one excuse or another about why we just didn't have the time to get away. It was strange to me how I never realized at the time we just never did anything.....fun. Even though there were trips to Vegas that Rose had been along on, Tyler wasn't big on me going out with just Rose...so I didn't.

"Baby, I'm sorry...I didn't mean to-" my eyes snapped to Edward's and I pressed a finger to his lips.

"No. Do not apologize. It isn't your fault that Tyler is an ass, and you had no reason to know that I hadn't been here before. It's an easy assumption with as many times as I've been to Vegas, so just....don't, okay?" I smiled at him and he pursed his lips, kissing my finger before his lips curled into a wicked smile.

"Well, that makes this all the better then.....I get to have this first with you and for that," Edward smiled that damned crooked smile that made my knees weak, "I believe we have some shopping to do."

Edward led me into BCBG Maxazria where a pretty brunette introduced herself as Amanda. Edward was insistent on getting an outfit for whatever it was he had planned for our last night in Vegas. Though I had packed a few nice things for some of the meetings Em and I had with potential clients, I had not brought anything formal. According to Edward I would need to dress for more of an occasion than what my current wardrobe would apparently accommodate. Edward explained to Amanda what we were looking for without giving too much away as to what his plans were and then turned to walk away, leaving me in the capable hands of the pretty sales person.

"Wait," I said grabbing his hand. "Where are you going?"

"I'm just going to wait right here, baby." Edward smirked and leaned down for a quick kiss before he made his way to a large white sofa near the front of the store. I was still standing and staring at him when he sat and looked up at me with a wink. I giggled like a little girl and followed Amanda into the dressing area

Almost an hour and I can't count how many dresses later, Amanda had helped me put together the perfect ensemble. At least I hoped it would be perfect. It was somewhat difficult to know exactly what to choose since I wasn't really sure what we were going to be doing, but Edward seemed sure that I would pick the appropriate attire.

As I made my way out of the dressing area, I could see Amanda laying the garment bag with the amazing red dress on the counter. It truly was gorgeous. I didn't usually wear red, but it just seemed right and Amanda assured me the color was perfect with my skin tone and dark hair. She also helped me find the perfect pair of shoes. I smiled because I knew what Alice would call the shoes; I just hoped that Edward would like them as much as I did. Again I stepped a bit outside of my comfort zone with the black patent leather stilettos. I had one other pair similar to them, but had to admit these shoes were amazing. I just hoped I wouldn't make a complete fool out of myself and fall or something equally embarrassing.

Edward caught my eye then as he stood to meet me at the counter.

"So?" he questioned as he placed one of his large, warm hands on the small of my back.

I smiled up at him and nodded my head in answer to his question. Edward and I had finally come to an agreement; he would allow me to buy the shoes but he wouldn't budge on paying for the dress.

We made our way out of the store with purchases in hand.

"Are you hungry?" Edward questioned as we walked through the crowd in the piazza.  
"I'm starving, what'd you have in mind? 'Cause I'm sure you have something planned, so..." I teased and he snorted.

"Well, Ms. Swan, as a matter of fact I thought you might enjoy the Enoteca San Marco. We can eat 'outside' and the food is awesome." Edward placed his hand at the small of my back again and led me over the canal bridge toward the restaurant. I could see the outside seating area as we made our way through the throngs of people. The whole experience was completely entrancing and the fact that I was able to do this with Edward was just.....indescribable.

Edward approached the hostess and requested a table in perfect, or so I assumed, Italian. My mouth dropped open.

"What?" he grinned.

"What? I had no idea you spoke Italian," my voice full of awe. There were so many things we didn't know about one another.

We were seated quickly at one of the 'outside' dining tables. Edward ordered a bottle of wine that was beyond words. The atmosphere was comfortable and our conversation flowed. We talked about so many things but mostly we just enjoyed being together. I was unaware of how much time had passed and before I realized it our food was at our table. The food was amazing, of course, just as Edward had promised. I began to notice that Edward and I seemed to always be touching in some way or another. The table was small so we were seated relatively close to one another, and even though there were hundreds of people surrounding us, it felt as though we were completely alone, lost in our own world.

I'm not really sure how long we sat just talking but it seemed like no time at all when Edward smiled at me and asked if I was ready to go. He paid the check quickly, then stood and pulled my chair out for me before offering his hand. My heart was in my throat as I looked into his eyes and slipped my hand in his. The raw emotion that I saw staring back at me took my breath away and I sucked in a breath. Edward held my hand, picked up our bags and led me out toward the waterway.

"Where are we going now?" I questioned, too overwhelmed to speak above a whisper.

Edward turned toward me, pulling me into his arms and hugging me close, he nuzzled my hair and inhaled deeply.

"Well, since you haven't been here before, there's one more thing I think you would enjoy," Edward looked back over his shoulder. "Come on...."

I laughed as Edward turned, taking my hand and pulling me along toward the waterway. My breath caught in my throat as I saw where he was going.

"Edward? Seriously? We're going on a Gondola ride?" I couldn't stop the really girly giggle that escaped me and Edward looked over his shoulder at me with a devastating smile and a nod of his head.

"Oh my God," I whispered as I covered my mouth with my free hand.

Like Edward, I had always wanted to travel but had just never had the opportunity. One of the places I wanted to visit was Venice, well any part of Italy really, but Venice was definitely high on the list. So this little trip there, even if it was in the middle of the desert in the states, was like a dream for me.

Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulders and we descended the stone steps toward an awaiting Gondola.

"Ciao! How can I help you today?" the Gondolier greeted in a very heavy authentic Italian accent. Edward dropped his arm from my shoulders only to take my hand in his once more.

"Ciao! Parla italiano?" Edward questioned and I looked up at him in confusion.

"Sì, signore," the Gondolier replied with a gentle smile on his face.

"Lei mi aiuta...." Edward paused and looked down at me, then back at the Gondolier who had a knowing look on his face. I was completely confused, obviously they were speaking Italian but I had no idea what they were saying.

"Gradirei prendere la mia bella signora su una cavalcata è disponibile per un giro privato? Io ho qualche cosa speciale che io voglio darla..." Edward turned and took in my confused expression and smiled at me before turning back as the Gondolier answered his question.

"AH! Ma chiaramente io amerei assistere Lei e la Sua bella signora. ."

"Okay....as much as I really like hearing you two speaking Italian, I have no idea what you're saying, so..." I looked up at Edward as he shook his head and smiled down at me, his green eyes sparkling.

"Sorry, my love," he kissed my temple. "I was just securing the fact that we could have a private tour with…" Edward turned back to look at the Gondolier in question as we had not gotten his name yet.

"I am Antonio, mia bella," he supplied with a sweeping bow, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Well, it's very nice to meet you Antonio." I smiled and wrapped my free hand around Edward's bicep as I tightened the fingers of my hand that he held.

Edward and Antonio settled up for our private Gondola ride. I was beyond excited and I felt like my body was vibrating. Edward stepped into the gondola and turned back to me to help me inside, a smile on his perfect face. He took a seat on the small bench and pulled me down to sit beside him, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as Antonio set us on our way through the canal.

The view from the waterway was utterly breathtaking.

I settled into Edward's side and let the feeling of contentment engulf me. It had been so long since I had felt this good, this safe, this.......happy.

I felt Edward nuzzle the side of my head and press his lips to my hair. I turned to press my back against his side and curled one leg under, the other stretched out in front of me. Edward's arm lay across my chest, his fingers wrapped around my upper arm holding me close to him, I closed my fingers over his forearm and sighed when I felt his cheek press against the top of my head.

It was so intimate and romantic floating through the waterway, lifetimes away from all the chaos we were actually living recently. Just as I thought that there was no way this could get any better I heard a voice ring out from behind me. Antonio began singing his voice low and beautiful. The song was in Italian, though I didn't understand the words I knew it was a love song and I smiled over my shoulder catching the eye of our amazing Gondolier. Antonio smiled back at me as he continued in his mesmerizing song his voice growing louder as he reached the chorus of the song.

I felt Edward's body shift and his arm slid away from my body, but before I could turn to see what he was doing I felt something cool and smooth slip around my neck. My hand shot to my throat as I looked down at the most incredible diamond I had ever seen lying at the end of a delicate platinum chain. It wasn't huge, it was just......stunning.

I gasped, "Oh my God. Edward?" I felt the weight of the necklace as Edward released the chain and his hands were on my shoulders as he kissed the back of my head.

I turned to look up into his sparkling green eyes. "I....good lord, Edward....I," I stammered completely in shock.

"Shhh....I told you earlier," he wrapped his arms around my waist. "I want to give you things." Edward ran a finger along the chain from just below my collarbone to the hollow of my throat, I shivered. "You deserve to have beautiful things, Bella. You deserve to be taken to beautiful places. I plan on doing that for you," Edward whispered before he bent to place a searing kiss to my lips as Antonio continued singing the lovely song.

My body flushed with desire for this wonderful man and I wrapped my arms around his neck, my hands fisting in his hair. Edward moaned softly as I swept the tip of my tongue over his upper lip and nipped it with my teeth. Edward's arms tightened around me as he pressed my body as fully to him as possible and I felt his fingers slip under the hem of my shirt, brushing gently against the sensitive skin at the small of my back. We slowly broke apart and my eyes fluttered open to find Edward staring at me with the most devastatingly beautiful smile upon his face.

"Wow....if that's how you're going to thank me for gifts I'm most definitely giving you many, many more." I giggled and swatted his chest.

"You think you're so funny......Edward," I looked down again at the pendant dangling from my neck, gingerly running a finger over the chain. "This is....beautiful. Thank you."

I wasn't going to bring up the complete ridiculousness of the diamond necklace because I couldn't argue that it was incredibly beautiful and Edward had already made it clear that he was going to do this type of thing regardless of how much I protested. So I might as well be gracious and accept the gifts, he said it made him happy so....

I turned and settled into the comfort of Edward's arms as he kept them wrapped around my body.

Before I realized it the magic of the ride was over, Antonio had finished his song and Edward was offering me his hand to assist me in stepping out of the Gondola. We said our goodbyes and thanks to Antonio before making our way up the steps and on to the next adventure of the day.

* * *

**So there it is. Yet another day in Vegas for our favorite couple. One more chapter of their Vegas adventure and they'll be heading back to the real world and all that entails.... **

**I hope you all are enjoying their rediscovery of one another. Bella is accepting his love and his gifts. I hope that her explanation of why she seemed as though she were upset at the end of the last chapter made it more clear as to her feelings on the issue. It's not that she doesn't appreciate or think what Edward has done is beyond wonderful she truly doesn't want him to think that it's necessary for her to care for him.**

**Love to you all. Thank you for all the reviews!! MMB has topped 1100 reviews! You are awesome!!**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N:Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, no copyright infringement is intended. Thank God she created such wonderful characters that we get to play with. The plot and story here belong to me.**

**Okay, so this is the last chapter of Vegas and before our favorite couple returns home to the real world. **

**To my aswesomesauce beta Jessica1971 as always all my thanks and love for everything you do. **

**Music for the chapter: Can't take my eyes off you by Lady Antebellum, No one by Alicia Keys, Only you can love me this way by Keith Urban.**

**Bella's outfits for the last two chapters are on my profile so check those out if you want...**

**More at the bottom.**

**

* * *

  
**

Chapter 22

BPOV

We made our way through the throngs of people to the casino area. I looked over at Edward questioningly, tightening my grip on his hand as he led me through the slot machines, past the blackjack and roulette tables, toward a separate room altogether.

I was completely confused as to what was going on in his head until I saw the sign above the entrance of the room Edward was leading me to.

"What in the.....Edward, what are you thinking?" I questioned in a low voice.

Edward looked down and smirked, "I'm thinking," he said slowly. "We're gonna play a little poker." Edward's eyes were dancing with mirth.

My eyes widened and the look on my face must have been pretty comical because Edward laughed a full out belly laugh and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, continuing to guide me toward the Venetian's Poker Room.

"You have truly lost your mind, Edward Cullen. I can't.....Seriously! I have no idea how to play this kind of poker," I hissed, causing Edward to only laugh louder as he led me to the cashier's window. I had played poker in college with friends when we were having a slow night. I mean, really, who hasn't played a round of strip poker when you're in college? But this? No, this was a horse of a different color entirely.

"Oh come on, it'll be fun." I felt him press his lips to my temple as I rolled my eyes.  
The room was about half full with players of all possible creations.

"Good evening, ma'am, sir," we were greeted as Edward pulled me into the ungodly large area on the main floor of the casino.

I listened as Edward spoke with the young man about the high limit room and we were promptly led to an elevator to which took us to a completely different area of similar looking tables. This area, though similar to what was seen on the main floor, was much more opulent. The chairs were supple leather and overstuffed, the tables a dark mahogany wood. The lighting was soft yet bright and the walls were painted a muted yellow, creating a warm and inviting ambiance. There were huge beautiful curved iron and crystal chandeliers hanging from the paneled ceiling. The crystals caught the light throwing rainbows of color around the room.

Edward pulled out a chair for me and I sat still, giving him a pointed look which he just returned with that damn know it all smirk on his face before taking his own seat to my right.

Edward and the dealer, who's name was Jason, spoke and we would be allowed to join on the next hand as the three other people at the table were on the final bet of the current game.

"Edward, seriously, I have no idea what I'm doing and I really don't feel comfortable just throwing money away like that. I'm not a gambler." I spoke in a hushed whisper as the smile was still on his face.

"Bella, come on, just play one hand with me and then I won't make you play anymore if you don't like it. Okay?" Edward turned the full force of those sparkling green eyes on me and at that point any form of trying to resist his charms was truly an act in futility. There was _no_ resisting Edward Cullen when he wanted something.

I huffed my acquiescence and Edward winked before leaning over to place a chaste kiss on my lips. Edward was an amazing teacher. I knew the basic hands but the whole way Texas Hold 'em is played was foreign to me; however, it was easy to understand once Edward explained to me how the game was played. He helped me understand some of the lingo. On the first few hands Edward would sneak a peek at the cards dealt to me so he could help me figure out how to proceed.

As much as I didn't want to admit it to Edward, he was totally right and I was having a ball. It was amazing, though I was a nervous wreck. Being frugal was just ingrained in me and the whole idea of losing any amount of money was really difficult. But I actually won a hand as surprising as that was to everyone involved, myself most of all. It was so nice to just cut loose. This was......fun and I hadn't had this much fun in a really long time. Three hours later we were still sitting at the table and Edward was locked in a battle with what I was sure could only be described as a professional poker player. You know the ones you see on ESPN playing for millions of dollars?

At that point in the evening I was resigned to just enjoying watching Edward as he played. The intensity that is typical of Edward's character was never more evident than as he sat at the table in complete concentration on the hand being dealt. I still sat just to Edward's left with my back to the wall. Watching as Edward sized up his opponent sitting directly across the table.

Edward's long fingers wrapped around a few chips from his rather large stack, absently picking them up and letting them fall back in place as he made a decision on his next move. Complete calm and control had fallen over his countenance while he waited for the other player to place his bet. Edward was completely stoic, even as he lifted his snifter of Scotch to his lips. I watched as his Adam's apple bobbed with the swallow of the smooth amber liquid.

_Perfect poker face...._ I thought as I took in the mask of blankness that Edward wore on his face.

A chill ran down my spine as that look spurred a memory locked deep in my heart. It was eerily similar to the look Edward wore the day so many years ago when he broke both our hearts. Shaking my head, I worked to clear the images that flashed through my mind.

_That was a different time, stop it. _I chastised myself for allowing even a moment of the doubt that memory evoked.

I sighed quietly but not quietly enough. Edward turned toward me and when our eyes locked I saw the mask melt from his face. My heart slammed in my chest and when Edward winked at me with that sexy smirk on his face, I couldn't help but smile. Placing a hand on my knee and giving it a gentle squeeze, he turned back to the table and the mask was back.

Once the other man had placed his bet, Edward chose his chips and with a flick of his wrist threw them lightly on the pile in the center of the table. My eyes widened as I mentally calculated what Edward had just thrown on the table and the amount of money already there was just....... unimaginable.

"Holy shit," I muttered under my breath and I reached for my Martini, bringing the glass to my lips and taking a long drink before darting my eyes away from the table. This whole endeavor was making me a nervous wreck.

Edward checked his cards with little more than a glance and the game continued. As the fifth and final card was laid face up on the table I saw a momentary crack in Edward's mask and my heart sank.

_Shit, he just lost...._ Thinking about the amount of money Edward had just lost on this hand made my stomach turn.

Edward swirled his snifter before he took a long drink, the ice clinking in the glass.  
My eyes snapped to the burly man who sat on the other side of the table and saw a gleam in his eye. Obviously the slip in Edward's facade had not escaped tall, dark and scary's notice either. I fidgeted in my seat as the other man made his bet and it was again Edward's turn. I assumed he would fold at that moment and not throw away more money, but I was sorely mistaken.

My breath caught as I saw Edward slide a stack of chips to the center of the table, my jaw fell open and I snapped it shut just as quickly, not wanting to break Edward's concentration at that moment.

The dealer called for their cards to be shown and I almost passed out as the man at the other end of the table cursed loudly but held a genuine smile on his face. I looked up from the table to see the smile on Edward's face and his shining green eyes staring directly into mine.

"You won?" I whispered.

Edward just nodded his head. The sneak had faked out not only me but also the man I was positive at this point was a professional.

When his hand was revealed, Edward had been dealt the King and Ace of spades. As the rest of the community cards were dealt, he effectively was handed a royal flush. Or so Edward explained on our way out of the casino once he cashed in his winnings from the night.

"So, Ms. Swan, what do you say to a little celebration?" Edward asked, snaking an arm around my waist and pulling me close to him as we reached the strip just outside the Venetian's doors. The day had flown by and as we made our way up the crowded sidewalk, the lights of the city illuminated every nook and crevice. Edward and I effectively had spent the entire afternoon and a good portion of the night at the Venetian.

I turned and smiled up at him, "I'm not sure, what did you have in mind, Mr. Cullen?"

"Hmmm....." Edward breathed deeply through his nose as he contemplated all the options available. "What about we head back to the Bellagio, we can drop off your bags." Edward smiled as he held up the bags which held my new dress and shoes. "Are you hungry?"

I nodded as I realized it had been several hours since Edward and I had eaten. "Well the Café Bellagio serves whatever you want twenty-four hours so we can grab something there and then maybe the Fontana Bar?" Edward questioned.

I smiled and wrapped an arm around his waist as we continued walking down the street. "Yeah, that sounds good. The Fontana? Isn't that the one you can watch the fountains from?" I asked, remembering that I had seen something about that particular bar being a great place to watch the water show.

"Yeah, that's it, maybe we can still catch a show?" Edward checked his watch and nodded his head. "We can check with the front desk about the time for the next show if you want?"

"Yeah? I would love to see it. I've heard it's really amazing."

Edward and I continued talking about the fountain show. Edward explained that he had seen it only once before. He had come out to Vegas with a few friends while in college as a birthday trip for one of his frat brothers. Once we reached the hotel, Edward and I made our way over to the desk to check on the timing of the fountain show. We were told there was a show every fifteen minutes until midnight, so we had plenty of time to grab a bite to eat and then get to the Fontana before the last show.

Edward seemed deep in thought as we made our way to Café Bellagio after dropping off the bags in our villa.

"What'cha thinkin' about?" I questioned and tugged on Edward's hand as we walked.

"Hm?" Edward looked at me and I quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, um...well I was thinking about something Emmett mentioned earlier today."

I groaned because there were so many roads that something my brother had talked with Edward about could go and very few of them seemed pleasant in my imagination.

"Oh God, what did he say? When did you even see Emmett?" Suddenly it struck me that Edward must have run into my brother when he went to check us out of my hotel room. "Oh no, are you serious? What did he say? I mean I called Emmett and let him know I was staying here with you for a few days and he didn't say anything about talking to you." My brow furrowed in confusion about what Emmett would have talked to Edward about that he didn't mention, but now Edward wanted to talk to me about.

"Um....well, have you thought about what you guys are going to do about a vet? I mean, are you planning on continuing with James?" Edward questioned with a concerned look on his face. I was completely confused now. What did that....It suddenly dawned on me what Emmett had talked with Edward about and why he seemed nervous now.

"Holy.....Emmett asked you to come work for us, didn't he?" My words were clipped and I noticed Edward flinch at my tone.

"Yeah.....but I didn't accept yet. I have other things lined up, so you know it's not a big deal if you're not okay with that. Emmett said you would probably kill him for making the offer without talking to you first and-"

I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my lips to his to shut him up. Edward's body went completely rigid for a split second before I felt him relax and he began kissing me back, his arms encircling my body. I pulled away to smile up at him before stating exactly what I thought about him coming to work for us.

"Edward, there is no one that I would trust more than you to take on that task. I am pissed that Emmett, once again, made a decision without talking to me first, but as usual, he made a great decision in making the offer to you," I said as I watched Edward's face. His eyes widened and then the biggest smile I have ever seen broke over his handsome face.

"Are you sure, Bella? I mean really, if you're not comfortable with this, especially right now when we're still kind of working on things between us.......it's okay if you don't want that or think that it will just add another stumbling block." I could only shake my head as he was speaking.

"Edward, really I'm sure. Don't get me wrong, I don't for a second think it'll be roses and rainbows all the time. You're incredibly overbearing at times," I winked at him as his jaw came unhinged. "But I also know that you take your job very seriously. As long as we remember what happens at the barn stays there, then I think it'll be great."

Edward chuckled and pressed a kiss to my forehead before hugging me tightly.

"Come on, let's go get something to eat. I'm starved." With that Edward released me only to take my hand and lead me to the restaurant.

Dinner was great and, after much discussion, Edward relented and let me pay the check. He wasn't happy about it, but he finally realized I was much more stubborn than he remembered.

"You're so incredibly stubborn," Edward whispered in my ear as we walked out of the restaurant. I shivered at the feeling of his warm breath on my skin.

I narrowed my eyes as I looked up at him and then smiled a sickly sweet smile.  
"You have no idea, Edward."

Edward scoffed, "Oh, I think I'm beginning to have a very good idea, my love." He chuckled, pressing a kiss to my temple as he placed a hand at the small of my back.

"Yeah, well just remember that when I'm your boss, big boy." I smacked him lightly on the chest.

"Ow," Edward rubbed the spot with mock pain on his face before laughing.

The Fontana hosts live entertainment every night and the music is supposed to be amazing. We found a table near the French doors leading to the patio and I sat back to enjoy the music while Edward made his way to the bar to grab us a couple of drinks. I smiled as I saw Edward making his way back to me and a dazzling smile spread across his face as our eyes met.

Edward placed my drink in front of me as he slid his chair closer before he sat down, draping his arm across the back of mine. I leaned into him and thanked him for the drink with a quick kiss.

I'm not sure how long we sat just enjoying the relaxing sounds of the music. The woman's voice was hauntingly beautiful and I was truly enjoying the entire experience. I took a sip from my drink as I turned to look out over Lake Bellagio and the lights of the city. It was a breathtaking sight to behold. Edward leaned his body closer to mine, pulling me tighter against him with the arm he had wrapped around my shoulders. The heat from his body caused me to squirm in my seat as I felt my body responding, the desire rushing through me becoming almost unbearable as Edward's fingers danced over the exposed skin of my shoulder and upper arm. His fingertips grazed over my sensitive skin, leaving a trail of fire in their wake as he curled his large hand around the back of my neck, his thumb continuing to rub from my ear down as he leaned in to nuzzle the side of my head with his nose. He took a deep breath and when he released the heated air from his lungs I sucked my lower lip between my teeth to hold in the whimper threatening to escape. I could feel the air crackle with electricity around us.

"Dance with me?" Edward whispered as he continued to nuzzle my head, placing a kiss just below my ear. I couldn't stop the shiver than ran through my body or the low moan that escaped me. My head lolled to the side to provide him better access and Edward wasted no time in dragging his lips over my flesh, biting down gently when he reached the junction of my neck and shoulder. I bit back the moan that was trying to escape me at the flames of desire that shot through my body when Edward's teeth sank into my body.

I could hardly resist his plea at that point, as if I ever could, and I nodded my head in agreement.

Edward took my hand and led me to the dance floor. The woman who was singing earlier had taken a break and a DJ was now filling the bar with music. The song was slow and sensual, it had my body humming with anticipation. Once we reached a slightly secluded area of the dance floor, Edward turned toward me and pulled me into his body. Edward took both my hands, placing them around his neck, and his hands went to my hips, holding me to him as we began to sway together to the music. As the rhythm began to take over our bodies we moved fluidly and Edward's knee slipped between my legs. The friction on my overheated core had me biting my lower lip to keep the sounds that threatened to bubble out of me quiet.

I could feel how much Edward wanted me as our bodies moved together and I looked up to meet Edward's gaze. Edward's eyes were dark and heavy lidded with his desire as he looked at me from under his long lashes.

"Mmm...God, Bella.....you take my breath away," he murmured as his lips brushed along my cheek on their way to my ear. "You're so beautiful," Edward whispered as he caressed my face with the back of one hand.

My eyes drifted closed as we continued to move with one another, lost in our own world of each other. The slow burn that Edward ignited as we sat at our table was building into a full blown forest fire as his hands drifted over my body.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" Edward's voice was low and rough and I pressed my body further into him as my desire kicked into overdrive.

"I can't wait to get you back to our bed," Edward murmured as his tongue darted out to lap at the lobe of my ear, his hot breath blew across the moist skin causing me to shiver and whimper. Edward's arms encircled me, pressing our bodies tighter together. Our hips moved against each other in ways that painfully reminded me of what I could have if we were back in our villa instead of fully clothed in the middle of a dance floor surrounded by several dozen strangers.

I ran one hand over his shoulder to rest in the center of his chest and felt the rumble of a growl as I leaned in to place an open mouthed kiss at the hollow of his throat. I trailed my tongue up his neck and smiled to myself in satisfaction that I had a similar effect on him as he had on me as his body shivered when I nipped at his ear.

Fisting his shirt in my hand, I whispered, "Then what's stopping you, cowboy."

If I hadn't been so aroused I would have laughed out loud as Edward's body stiffened and he stopped dead in his tracks. When he pulled back to look at me, I'm sure to judge whether I was serious or just teasing him, all urges to laugh quickly left me as the intensity of my desire was mirrored in Edward's eyes.

Before I could catch my breath, Edward had me by the hand and was leading me out of the bar quickly. I had to almost run to keep up with Edward's long strides as he made his way toward our villa. When Edward looked over his shoulder at me, my breath hitched at the pure look of lust that he shot me.

Just as we reached the door to our villa, Edward turned and pulled me into him, crashing his lips to mine as his fingers wrapped themselves around my neck, holding my face to his as he parted my lips with his tongue. I moaned into his mouth as I opened to him. My hands were immediately un-tucking his shirt and fumbling with the buttons. I didn't care that we were still standing outside the door, I needed Edward naked, _now. _Edward's nimble fingers unclasped the clip in my hair, allowing it to fall over my shoulders before his hands were buried in my long tresses.

Somehow Edward was able to get our door opened without breaking our embrace and we stumbled into the foyer.

Edward's hands slid over my back and down to cup my ass as he pulled my hips into his roughly. I moaned again as I felt his erection, rock hard under his jeans and pressing into my abdomen.

Finally with the last of the blasted buttons open, I could feel the wonders of Edward's chest as I ran my hands up to push the fabric down his arms. The coarse hair of his chest that enticed me to run my fingers through it, the hard muscles underneath, to the broad shoulders I gripped slightly as I toed off my boots.

I felt his hands kneading the muscles of my thighs before breaking our kiss momentarily to pull my shirt over my head, tossing it into the room. His hands were immediately back framing my face and his lips were melding with mine as we stumbled and tripped further into the foyer of our villa. I heard the door slam as I'm sure that Edward kicked it closed, but I couldn't really find the time to care as his lips trailed over my jaw and down my neck, nipping and suckling as they went. Edward's nimble fingers worked the buttons of my jeans and slid them down my legs. I kicked them away from my body.

"Oh God..." I sighed as Edward found my pulse point and sucked a bit roughly on the tender skin of my neck. My hands threaded through his silken hair, holding him closer to me. I thought I heard a tearing of fabric and realized Edward had torn the lacy black boy shorts from my body. I would have to remember to bring to his attention that those were expensive, but at the moment I really didn't care.

Edward cupped my ass and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he lifted me. I felt the roughness of the textured wall as Edward slammed my body against it and covered my mouth with his again.

Edward's fingers dug into my skin as he held me and pushed his tongue past my lips, growling as his hips pressed into my core.

"Please, Edward, I....Oh, god..." I was past the point of needing any foreplay and had become completely incoherent with my need for him. The whole damn day had been foreplay and I couldn't wait another second to feel him moving inside me. I felt one of Edward's hands move from my behind and his body press me further into the wall as he opened the button fly of his jeans. Moaning loudly, I ground my hips against him. I gasped as I felt his tip press against my more than ready sex and I began squirming in his arms, not being able to wait any longer to have him.

"Edward, please," I begged as I tightened my arms and legs around his body. I felt the vibration of Edward's growl run through my body and settle between my legs.  
_How can he do that with just a sound?_

"Fuck," Edward groaned into the skin of my chest, nipping at my flesh as he entered me in one quick thrust of his hips. I cried out at the sensation of him burying himself completely inside me all at once. I was overwhelmed and couldn't catch my breath. Edward must have realized it because he went completely still, panting and shaking in his effort to give me a moment. I moaned with the pure unadulterated pleasure of finally having him exactly where I had needed him to be for hours. That seemed to be all the permission Edward needed as his own desire for this connection overtook him and he pulled out slightly only to quickly push back into me, gaining more moans and mewls of pleasure from my body. When Edward took one of my nipples into his mouth, sucking it roughly, it was as if my entire body exploded, the white hot bliss took over my vision as I fell over the edge and screamed his name. Edward's pace quickened, as my body quivered and quaked in the aftershock of my orgasm. Edward's breathing becoming haggard and his sounds were completely feral until suddenly his body stiffened and I felt him release inside me as he called my name, his own orgasm overtaking him.

Edward held me against the wall, his head buried in my chest as our breathing tried to regulate and we came down from our mutual high.

I giggled and kissed the top of his head. "Wow....that...."

"Holy shit, Bella, I have never....." Edward mumbled then pressed a kiss to my right breast before looking into my eyes with a dazed smile on his face.

"Me, either. Edward, I....I don't even know how to....just wow." I tightened my arms around his neck as we both laughed in the giddy after effects of the most intense experience hands down I have ever had.

Edward slid his hands up my back and set me on my feet.

"Come on, baby, lets go to bed."

I couldn't wipe the giddy grin off my face as I took Edward's hand and followed him into our bedroom.

~*~

I woke up with a smile on my face. The images from our time here at the Bellagio over the last two days flashed through my mind before I opened my eyes. Stretching my arms over my head, I rolled onto my back and brought my arms back down toward where I expected to find Edward lying next to me, but was met with nothing but cold sheets. My eyes snapped open and I looked around the room. I didn't hear water running and there was no light streaming under the closed bathroom door, so obviously he wasn't in the shower.

I scanned the rest of the room and listened for any noise in the rest of the villa but heard nothing. Picking up my phone, I checked the time.

_Six thirty? _I groaned. _Where in the world would he be at this time of the morning?_

I swung my legs off the bed, pulling the sheet with me to wrap around my body as I made my way out of our room and down the hall. My brow furrowed in confusion when I didn't find him, but I could smell the scent of fresh made coffee wafting from the kitchen. Stepping around the corner to poke my head in the kitchen, I found nothing but an empty room and a full pot of coffee.

"Hmm…" I hummed to myself. Turning just as I heard a noise from the patio area, I could see Edward's form as it dipped below the edge and out of my field of vision. My stomach did a back flip as I watched his graceful form glide through the water, his strong arms cutting the water as he sped along the length of the pool.

_God, can the man get any sexier? Really?_ I shook my head at the effect he had on my body. Just watching him do laps in a pool had me aching for him.

I smiled to myself and walked back to our room to slip on a pair of Edward's boxers and a tank top before going back to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. Slipping quietly through the french doors, I took a seat in one of the cushioned lounge chairs, settling in to enjoy the show.

Edward had not noticed me as he swam to the far end of the pool, ducked under water to make his turn and was mid-pool before he resurfaced to resume his freestyle stroke. His body was truly a work of art. I wondered if this was how he kept in such great shape. His long lean frame was made for swimming. Though he was muscular, he wasn't bulky like Emmett. Edward's body was slim and toned and incredibly sexy. The rising sun glistened against the skin of his back which was exposed just above the water. As Edward reached the end of the pool nearest me his fingers wrapped around the rock that lined the pools edge.  
I sighed heavily as I lifted my coffee cup to my lips and took a sip of the steaming happiness. I truly love my coffee.

I smiled behind my cup as Edward's head popped up over the edge of the pool and he smiled his lopsided grin.

"Hey, darlin. I didn't wake you, did I?" He questioned as he folded his arms over the edge of the pool and rested his chin on them, winking at me as he continued to smile.

I shook my head and smiled, "No, you didn't wake me up, but it was kind of lonely waking up all alone." I stuck my bottom lip out in a pout.

"Aw, I'm sorry about that, baby. I guess I'll have to make that up to ya, huh?"

Edward wore a devilish smirk upon his face as he pulled himself out of the pool. My breath caught as I was able to take in his entire form as he slowly crossed to where I reclined in my chair. His low slung board shorts allowed me to see the beautiful V formed just above his hipbones and the little trail of hair that disappeared in the waistband; the sight caused me to involuntarily lick my lips. I placed my coffee cup on the table next to me as Edward crawled over me and covered my body with his. I squeaked as the water dripped from his body onto mine.

"Shall I make it up to you now?" Edward growled as he dipped his head to press his lips to mine. I moaned into his mouth as my arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him down fully on top of me. Edward bent his arms at the elbow and settled between my legs. Edward broke our kiss only to trail hot open mouth kisses down my jaw to my ear and then my neck. The cold water from his board shorts was seeping quickly through the thin material of his boxers that I wore. The contrasting temperature of the heat of my core and cold water caused me to shiver, a tiny whimper escaping my lips.

"God, Bella, do you have any idea what it does to me when you make those noises?" Edward murmured as he nipped at the skin of my neck.

"Unnhh....I know what it does to me when you do that...." I whispered as he ran his tongue over my collarbone, pushing the strap of my top with his nose until it fell from my shoulder.

He ground his hips against mine and I moaned at the feel of his arousal pressing against my abdomen. My hips bucked against him of their own accord and he hissed. Running my hands over his back, I enjoyed the feeling of the taut muscles under my fingertips.

"I love you," I whispered in his ear and he moaned before pulling back from where he was lavishing loving kisses to my chest.

The emotions flashing in his eyes took my breath away for a moment and I knew that he was still overwhelmed at the fact that I was professing my feelings for him. Edward smiled before he pressed his lips to mine in a slow gentle kiss.

"I love you, too, so much," he whispered against my lips and pressed his forehead to mine, looking deep into my eyes. Before I knew what he was doing, Edward stood, swept me into his arms, and made his way through the villa.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and licked a trail from his pulse point to his ear where I bit down on his lobe, gaining a growl from Edward.

The cool sheets of our rumpled bed greeted me as Edward laid me down before covering my body with his. As our clothes flew from our bodies, I gasped at the overwhelming feeling of being complete as Edward entered me. Our bodies connected in a way that grounded me and sent me to the highest of highs at the same time. As Edward moved inside me, I quickly tumbled over the edge as the white hot electricity traveled from somewhere deep in my abdomen through my limbs. Edward followed close behind, calling my name as he found his release.

We lay there lost in each other for a long moment after our love making, trying to catch our breath.

"How 'bout I fix you some breakfast while you take a shower?" I said as my hands ran over his beautiful chest, up to his shoulders and back down before wrapping my arms around him and curling my fingers over his shoulders. I leaned up and kissed his lips quickly, smiling.

Edward chuckled and kissed my forehead before releasing me from his grasp. Propping on his elbow, Edward watched me with a wicked smirk on his face as I rolled out of bed to get dressed and made my way out of the bedroom.

Half an hour later, Edward entered the kitchen in a pair of dark wash jeans, shirtless and bare foot. His hair was still damp and much darker than usual. I took a deep breath, shaking my head and turning back to plating the eggs I was just finishing up for our breakfast. I had changed into a pair of my trusty yoga pants and a t-shirt, throwing my hair up into a messy bun.

Edward leaned in to kiss my cheek before pouring a cup of coffee and humming when he took his first sip.

"God, that's good..." he smiled over the rim of his cup.

I smiled over my shoulder as I picked up our plates and walked into the dining room.  
"Do you mind grabbing the juice please?" I called.

"Sure." Edward took his seat, placing the juice on the table and smiling at me.

We picked up a few things from a local grocery mart our first full day at the villa. I smiled at the memory of our first night in this place. I looked over my shoulder toward the foyer, the memory of Edward taking me against the wall flashed through my mind and my smile growing wider. I wasn't going to order room service every day, much to Edward's protest about my stubbornness, but he was just as pigheaded as I when it came to certain things. I eventually convinced Edward to give in to my request with the promise that we could stay in bed longer and wouldn't be interrupted by someone coming to the door. He agreed pretty quickly after I pointed that out.

We ate in comfortable silence, occasionally catching each others eye and smiling before I finally spoke.

"So, what's on the agenda for today, oh guru of all things Las Vegas?" I teased as I took the last sip of my juice.

Edward and I had done more and seen more in the time we had been here than all of the previous times I was here combined.

We made a trip to the MGM Grand's Lion exhibit. That was completely exhilarating walking under the glass and having this huge predator perched just above you. We walked through the Botanical garden here on the grounds of the Bellagio. I was completely speechless at the skill and love that the staff put into creating such a beautiful place. And since we missed the fountain show we made it a point to see it the next night. The coordination of music and water were mesmerizing. I tried my hand at blackjack and roulette, but I found that I enjoyed watching Edward play much more than playing myself. He fascinated me in so many ways.

We even caught the Chris Angel show at the Luxor. That was truly indescribable. Chris Angel's magic in and of itself is unbelievable, but combined with a Cirque de Soleil show, there are just no words to describe how amazing it was.

Edward's voice brought me back to our conversation.

"Well..." Edward looked up at me sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"What?" I smiled unsure of why he seemed apprehensive suddenly.

"I....well, have you ever been to the Hoover Dam?"

I shook my head and quirked an eyebrow.

"I know it's kind of corny, but it's really interesting and.....I…I thought it would be kind of fun to tour the dam, then maybe have a picnic and just hang out. And we really have the entire day before we have to get ready for tonight." Edward slid his hand across the table and took mine, bringing it to his lips, he kissed my fingers before tugging on it to pull me out of my chair. I threw my leg across his lap and settled down facing him, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my forehead to his.

"That," I kissed his lips chastely, "is not corny at all. It sounds perfect."

He smiled with his eyes closed and pressed a sweet kiss to my lips.

"Wait! How are we going to get to the dam? We don't have a car....oh God, please tell me you didn't buy a car while we've been here?" I looked at him with abject horror at the very real possibility that Edward had indeed bought a car. Edward threw his head back and laughed.

"God no, Bella, I didn't buy a car. I rented a Jeep. I thought it would be cool to take the top off and just get some sun. Geez." Edward ran a hand through his hair as he looked at me with a boyish grin. "I'm not that bad, am I? With the grand gestures?"  
I laughed and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"No, you're not, but I wouldn't have put it past you to do something like that." We both laughed and I climbed off his lap to clean up the dishes before getting dressed.

~*~

I pressed my head against the headrest, placing my feet on the dashboard and smiling as the wind whipped through my hair. This may very well have been Edward's best idea yet. Visiting the Dam, getting out in the warm Nevada sun and speeding down the highway on our way back from Lake Mead where we had picnicked. The park surrounding the lake was breathtaking and we found a place near the lake's edge under the shade of a gigantic tree so that we could eat and have some privacy from the people filling up the beach.

I looked over at Edward and took his hand that was resting on the gear shift. Edward smirked as he squeezed my fingers before raising our joined hands to his lips to press a gentle kiss to the inside of my wrist. He placed our hands in his lap.

"I had a great time today, Edward. Thank you."

Edward turned his head toward me for only a second, smiling before returning his attention to the road.

"I'm glad that you did, baby. I had fun, too. Anytime I get to spend the day with you is a good day."

I snorted and Edward quirked an eyebrow at me, "What?"

I shook my head and laughed again. He really could be kind of corny at times, but I loved him and all his flattering ways.

"Nothing. So are you going to tell me what we're doing tonight? Or is it still a surprise? 'Cause really, what the heck else is there left to do? We've done everything in the few days we've been here."

Really, I couldn't think of anything that we hadn't done and couldn't imagine in any recess of my mind what he had planned for our last night in Las Vegas.

"Nope, not gonna tell ya." Edward laughed, raising our hands and kissing the back of mine before releasing it so he could down shift as we entered the city limits. The rental company had delivered the Jeep Rubicon to our hotel and would be picking it up later today. It was a good thing because we were pushing it to get back in time to get dressed for the dinner reservations Edward had made for tonight. So I had at least gotten that much out of him about his plans for tonight; Edward had made reservations at Aquanox but that's as much as he would relent in telling me of his plans.

I had to keep reminding myself that this was all real. The way things had changed over the last few weeks since Edward and I had began trying to make this thing between us work, and now that we were on this road to something more entirely, still had my head spinning. But I meant what I told Edward the night he showed up at my door - I was tired of holding back, of living my life afraid, and I was turning loose of the strangle hold I had on my pain. There was no other way to get what I wanted. I wanted Edward and all the things that entailed.

I jumped in the shower first as we both knew it would take me much longer to get ready than Edward. I was a little disappointed that he didn't join me, but if he had we would most definitely be late for our dinner reservation. I smiled to myself as I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair at the thoughts of the day before when we showered together.

Stepping out of the shower, I dried myself off before slipping into the plush white robe courtesy of the Bellagio. I wrapped my damp hair in a towel and made my way into the dressing area of the huge closet so Edward could shower while I got ready.

I was just slipping my dress on and cursing under my breath because I couldn't get the zipper up all the way as I heard Edward calling to me from the bedroom.

"Baby, I hate to bug you about this but....um, we're going to miss our dinner reservations if we don't get going."

"I know, I know. I'm hurrying, I just....ugh...have to slip my shoes on.....hey come here, please. Can you help me zip this dress?" I stumbled out of the dressing room on one foot, placing a hand on the door frame as I slipped my shoe on.

I watched as Edward finished tucking his shirt. His back to me as he stood in front of the dresser, he wore black dress pants and a white button down which looked as though it were tailored to fit his broad shoulders and tapered waist. I noticed the black sports jacket thrown over the back of the arm chair in the corner.

_He really did have this planned out before hand...._I thought to myself

"Yeah, baby, hang on." Edward called without turning toward me as he buckled his watch around his wrist.

When Edward turned I heard him suck in a breath and his gaze raked over my body from my shoes all the way up to lock with my eyes. I smiled at him as my body heat rose considerably from the way his eyes burned with desire.

"Holy God, Bella. I changed my mind, we're not going anywhere." Edward's usually smooth as silk voice was rough as he stalked across the room and took me in his arms to press a searing kiss to my lips. I whimpered at the intensity of his passionate kiss and my body melted into his. I was totally fine staying here for the rest of the night if that's what he wanted. I couldn't say that I wasn't a bit concerned that our bubble of happiness wouldn't burst when we returned to the real world and our real lives. Regardless of the bliss that we were living out being here, together, I couldn't deny that the reality of our lives at home would hit us head on in a little less than twenty-four hours from now. I wanted to hold on to this feeling just a little longer, so if Edward was willing to give up his surprise, who was I to argue?

I wrapped my arms around Edward's neck and buried my hands in his hair. Edward hummed in pleasure against my lips before he tore himself away, leaning our foreheads together as we both tried to catch our breath.

"Bella," he whispered softly. "You look absolutely amazing in this dress. And those shoes.....I....can you wear those to bed tonight?" I laughed until I looked into his eyes.

"Are you kidding me?" My eyes widened as I realized Edward was completely serious.

"Oh my God." I laughed nervously and then smirked at the idea that Edward thought of these shoes in exactly the way I had hoped he would when I bought them. Exactly what I knew Alice would have called them....

I nodded my head and Edward groaned deep in his throat, closing his eyes tightly.

"How am I going to sit through the next few hours and not be imagining that...." Edward murmured more to himself than to me, and I giggled again, out of nervousness from Edward's fantasy with the shoes and anticipation of what the night would bring.

Edward took a deep breath through his nose and pulled back to look at me, "Okay, my love, turn around and let me zip you up because if we don't do that right now I am never going to let you walk out of here looking like that with the fact you just promised me not to take those shoes off tonight fresh on my brain. And I really want to give you this surprise." Edward smirked at me as I turned and held my hair off my neck so he could finish zipping the dress.

Aquanox was unbelievable and I was almost sick to my stomach from the sheer amount of food and the two bottles of wine we had consumed.

"Edward, do you have some fascination with this hotel or something?" I questioned as it occurred to me that we had visited the Venetian several times during our stay and we were now having dinner at one of the restaurants inside the Venetian.

"No, why?" Edward replied with a confused look on his face as he took the last sip from his wine glass after placing a large amount of cash along with the check inside the leather binder.

"I don't know, no reason really, it just dawned on me that we've spent almost as much time here as we have at our own hotel....so I was just wondering." I didn't want to seem ungrateful for the amazing dinner or the other times we had spent here, I was just curious.

"Oh, well...." Edward smiled and reached for my hand as he stood, helping me from my chair. "The other times were just for the fun of it. Tonight I have a purpose," he explained as we made our way out of the restaurant and across the lobby, but not out the doors as I expected. I looked up to see Edward had that all knowing smirk on his face again and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You see, my surprise is just through here." Edward gestured with one hand toward the entrance to the theater. My breath caught and tears burned in my eyes as I saw the playbill for what we would be seeing.

"Edward," I whispered as I covered my mouth with a trembling hand. "You.....how did..." I stammered, completely taken off guard that somehow he had remembered that I loved _Phantom of the Opera_.

Edward wrapped an arm around my waist and continued leading me toward the theater. As we approached the doors, Edward removed the tickets from the inside pocket of his coat, passing them to the usher who escorted us to our seats. Not only had Edward gotten us tickets to see one of my all time favorite plays, but we were sitting front row center stage. We would be able to feel like we were part of the play sitting in this area, and when the Phantom drops the chandelier it would feel as though it were falling upon us.

I was speechless; there were absolutely no words to describe how much this touched my heart. Just the fact that Edward remembered how much I loved this play was enough to make the tears brimming in my eyes finally spill onto my cheeks. I sniffled quietly and tried to wipe the tears discreetly. It was slightly embarrassing how much this had affected me.

"Hey," I heard his voice and felt his gentle hand cup my cheek as he turned my face to look up into his jewel colored eyes. "Why the tears, baby? I thought you would enjoy this surprise." Edward's face held concern, his eyes burning into mine as he tried to discern the reason behind my tears.

"Oh God, Edward, I do...I am happy about this....I can't even tell you how much this means to me. They're very much happy tears. No one....I just can't believe you did this for me." I sniffled again, trying to get control of my emotions. It had been so long since I felt so cared for and cherished that it stunned me how much I wanted to feel this with someone, and I hadn't in a very long time. The reasons I had settled for anything less weighed on my heart, knowing that those reasons sat holding my face and my heart in his palms once again.

Edward wiped away a final tear that fell from the corner of my eye with his thumb and kissed my forehead, my eyelids, and both of my cheeks before pulling back and smiling at me.

"Well, baby, I told you, and maybe if I tell you enough, do these things enough, you'll finally begin to believe me when I tell you that I plan on spoiling you every day for the rest of forever."

I breathed in a deep calming breath and wrapped my fingers around Edward's wrists, closing my eyes for a second before I opened them to look into his shining green orbs once again.

"I do believe you, Edward. And I love you, very much. Thank you for this, for everything," I whispered.

~*~

"Edward, what time did you say our flight was?" I called from the closet as I removed the last of my clothes from the rack to fold and place in my duffel.

"One-thirty, baby, we've got plenty of time," Edward replied from one of the other rooms. I had no idea what he was doing. He had already finished packing his things earlier this morning.

_Ex__cept for his shaving kit, shampoo, and any of the other things in here....._ I huffed as I noticed those items still spread all over the bathroom counter.

"Did you say Jasper was picking us up at the airport?" I asked as I made my way out of the bathroom with my small bag stuffed to overflowing with both our bathroom essentials.

"Yep," he said and I screamed as Edward's voice was much closer than it had been. He wrapped an arm around my waist and chuckled as I noticed him stuffing the remnants of a sandwich into his mouth.

"Is that what you've been doing while I'm in here packing everything, huh? You've been stuffing your face?" I tried to sound stern but it was impossible to do when he gave me that sad face and looked at me from under his sinfully long lashes.

He nodded his head, poking out his bottom lip in an adorable pout and I couldn't hold in the laughter any longer.

"You know, you are completely ridiculous sometimes," I laughed and wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest as he hugged me to him.

We finished up the packing together and made our way out of the villa. I took one last look around to sear in my memory the way it all looked, the way things had changed for us so much for the better and I felt a little flutter in my stomach as I hoped that we didn't lose what we found here once we were back in the real world.

Five hours later, Edward and I made our way toward the luggage carousel to retrieve our bags.

"Holy God, I am so glad to be off that plane," I commented as Edward pulled the first of our bags off the conveyor and placed it at my feet. "I mean really? Four and a half hours of the couple next to us making out and the kid sitting behind me who's parents wouldn't make him stop kicking the back of my seat....I just..." I shook my head and continued to grumble to myself as Edward gave me an understanding yet apologetic look. I don't know why he was looking like it was his fault, it wasn't our child who was doing that. I felt my heart squeeze as the thought of _our _child raced through my mind. I shook myself internally, trying to calm my racing heart. I had been cranky the whole flight and I felt really bad for being so. I just had this feeling.....something was off. I couldn't explain it really but it was making me punchy.

Once Edward had retrieved our bags, he shouldered them both before taking my hand and leading me toward where we were to meet Jasper. Edward talked with Alice just before we left the villa and she confirmed that Jasper would be there to meet us.

"Edward, didn't you say Alice told you Jaz was picking us up?" I asked in confusion.

"Yeah, why?" Edward answered as he readjusted the bags on his shoulder and looked down at me.

"Because that's Emmett waiting for us."

* * *

**A/N: **

**I hope you all enjoyed their last few days in Vegas. So Bella reacted pretty well to Emmett's offer, right? Ideas on why Em is there to pick them up and not Jasper? **

**Thanks to all of you who have reviewed, read, alerted or fav'd MMB. Seriously, I am overwhelmed everyday that so many people are reading my story and I thank you each and everyone. I hope to begin being able to respond to your reviews soon but please know that I read all of them and truly appreciate them so very much. MMB topped 1200 reviews with the last chapter!!!**

**Thank you to those of you who voted for MMB at the Silent Tears Awards. The voting is open until December 17th.**

**Next up EPOV....**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended. This storyline however is all mine. =)**

**As always I have to send out a huge thank you to my awesome beta Jessica1971. She's amazing and I don't have words to thank her enough! **

**I worked to try and respond to those of you who reviewed the last chapter. I hope I didn't miss anyone, if so I'm sorry. If you got a reply I warned you that there were some bumps in the road for these two. So here it is and now I'm off to my hidey hole....  
**

* * *

Chapter 23

Home Sweet Home

EPOV

"Did you say Jasper was picking us up at the airport?" Bella called from the bedroom.

I was working my way through cleaning out the refrigerator. There were a few things we hadn't used that needed throwing out before we left, so I made a sandwich, thinking there was no sense in throwing out perfectly good food.

When I entered our bedroom, Bella was just coming out of the bathroom with her carry-on bag and she looked upset. Had I done something? I wasn't sure, but when I answered her question about who was picking us up at the airport, closer to her than she thought and scaring her, I couldn't help but laugh. I wrapped my arms around her and teased her a little as she fussed at me for making myself a sandwich. I carried our bags out to the foyer and made sure to double check throughout the villa that everything was in order.

Bella didn't think I noticed the look of sadness, or maybe apprehension, that crossed her face when we walked out of the villa. I wasn't sure what that was all about but I didn't press her to explain. Instead I quietly led her to the awaiting cab and we sat in comfortable silence with my arm draped over her shoulders on our way to the airport and back to reality. I hoped we would be able to hold onto the happiness we had found while here in Vegas together. I felt we were on good ground now and I wanted that to continue when we got home, but I would be lying if I didn't admit that I was nervous about all the things waiting for us at home to work out.

Bella was quiet the entire plane ride home. She was restless, fidgeting and readjusting her position in her seat the whole time we were in the air. Bella tried to read, she pulled out her iPod and listened to music, but nothing seemed to soothe whatever it was that had her so on edge. I know that the kid sitting directly behind her kicked her seat throughout the flight and it drove her nuts that his parents seemed oblivious or just didn't give a shit as long as he wasn't bothering them. But I didn't really think that was the problem; she was.....off, even before we left the hotel. I asked Bella several times over the duration of our flight if everything was okay and she replied the same way every time, she was _fine_ and then would apologize for being a grouch.

When we got off the plane and she finally let it out how aggravated she was with the people on our flight, I was relieved that she was at least putting words to what was going on with her. I smiled apologetically at her as she went on about the couple making out next to us and the kid who kept kicking her seat. I knew it wasn't my fault, but if there was one thing Carlisle had taught me growing up it was that there were just times when it was better to keep your mouth shut and let your woman just vent whatever it was she needed to get off her chest. Luckily, that was a lesson I had heeded at this point and did just that, not saying a word until she was finished with her tirade.

I took Bella's hand and readjusted the straps of our duffel bags on my shoulder as we began walking to the designated place we were to meet Jasper. I felt Bella's body stiffen and she tightened her hand around mine before asking me about who was picking us up again. I adjusted the straps once more and answered her absently. I wasn't expecting to hear panic in her voice and I looked at her, concerned about her reaction.

"What?" I asked, confused not only by her statement but why she was suddenly afraid.

"Why would Emmett be here instead of Jasper?" Bella turned her wide doe eyes to lock with mine. When she turned away again, I followed her gaze and found Bella's hulking mass of a brother standing in the very place that Jasper should have been waiting for us.

Releasing Bella's hand to wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her into my side, I pressed a kiss to her temple.

"Baby, I'm sure everything is just fine. No need in getting all worked up. You worry too much," I laughed and kissed her cheek. But I couldn't deny that a cold chill ran down my spine at the reasons Emmett would be here and not Jasper.

Bella snorted at my assurances, mumbling something under her breath, but leaned into me resting her head against my shoulder. I smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. My heart swelled with the love I felt for this woman. By some miracle, Bella finally seemed to believe in me again, to believe in us, and the fact she wasn't holding back anymore was like a healing balm to my soul.

"Hey baby girl," Emmett greeted as soon as we were within earshot. "Edward," he nodded in my direction with a wary smile on his face.

"What's wrong, Em?" Bella cut right to the issue. I nodded in greeting to Emmett as his eyes shot to mine. There was definitely something going on. Emmett turned his attention back to Bella and plastered a grin on his face.

"Now, baby girl, why is it that your big brother can't just come pick you and your man up at the air-" Bella cut him off.

"Cut the shit, Emmett, I know good and well something's up. So, are you going to keep giving me a line or are you going to tell me what's wrong?" I guess her mood really hadn't improved as much as I had hoped with her little venting session.

Emmett's fake smile melted from his face and he looked between Bella and me, taking a deep breath before launching into what was going on.

"Jeez, snippy much? Everyone's fine, okay?" Emmett raised his hands in submission and gave a genuine smile.

Bella released a heavy sigh and I squeezed her shoulders reassuringly. I dropped our bags at my feet, this seemed like it might be a long conversation.

"I'm sorry, Em.....I just...I've had this weird feeling all day and..." Bella looked up at me with a grimace. So that's why she'd been in such a bad mood earlier today, why the plane ride had been almost unbearable. But why didn't she say something?

"I can't explain it really, I just felt like something bad was going to happen and then you're here instead of Jasper so I'm just freaked a little, okay? I'm sorry." I ran my hand up and down from her shoulder to her elbow as I held her to me, trying to reassure her that I was there.

"It's nothing bad, really.....have you turned your phone on since you got off the plane?" Bella shook her head, knowing that neither one of us had actually done that, which was not really smart since we were dependent on someone to get us home today.

"Investigator Brooks called me because he wasn't able to get a hold of you. I told him you were on your way back from Vegas and, well, anyway he wanted to let us know that they made an arrest, or a couple of arrests. He said he wants us at the police station as soon as your plane got in. We have to make our statements, again, which is why Jasper isn't here to pick you up. He and Carlisle are at the police station now. Since one of their animals was poisoned as well," Emmett looked between Bella and I. "They needed to make their statements. That way the ties to what happened to Lacy and their mare can be linked, if possible." Emmett paused, looking into my eyes before continuing. "They want you to make a statement now too, Edward. Since you consulted on both cases, even if Lacy's was post-mortem, they want your official statement."

I nodded my head in acknowledgment, "Yeah, that's fine. Are we heading there now?" I looked over at Bella and her face had paled considerably, her eyes wide.

"You....they've really got someone for killing Lacy?" her hand shot to her mouth and she looked up to lock eyes with me before a slow smile began to spread across her face.

"Yeah, baby girl, they've got a couple of somebody's." Emmett laughed lightly. "Edward, Investigator Brooks, wanted us there as soon as possible."

"What? A couple....who?" Bella asked.

"Come on, lets get to the truck and I'll explain it all to ya on the way to the police station." Emmett caught my eye and I could tell he was really upset by whatever he needed to explain.

Once we were in the truck and on the road, Emmett began to recall the details of what was discovered and how it all blew up the day before. It seemed that Tanya was so desperate to make a bigger name for herself than her father ever had that she hired Victoria as well as another employee within James' clinic with the intention to ruin not only Emmett and Bella's ranch, but my families as well.

The plan was for Victoria to obtain the poison used on Lacy and the other mares. The office manager of James' clinic, Bree, would help cover up the paper trail, for a hefty fee, by making the transaction for the poison look as though it were another item instead. So as far as James knew, nothing out of the ordinary had been purchased.

Victoria, with Bree's help, had also tampered with the reports James was provided after Lacy's death. So, in essence, James was not to blame, but he was a complete idiot for not paying more attention and realizing that there were things that didn't add up. The investigation had been made more difficult by his incompetence and that fact made my decision to accept the offer to take over his position at the Swan ranch a no brainer.

As Emmett was parking his truck in the only available space left, he caught my eye as we took in the numerous local reporters already surrounding the police station. Tanya's family, as well as both of ours, were well known in the area. If for nothing else, their charitable donations made a huge impact on the community. Eleazar and Carmen Denali had recently donated a large amount of money for a library to be built at the children's hospital. The social status of our families was something that would draw in the vultures, looking for a juicy story, and Tanya had more than provided it with her attempt to sabotage the competition. Not to mention the personal connections that would be drawn soon enough between Bella, Tanya, and Tyler. Add to that the success Bella and Emmett had in Las Vegas, and the draw for the sports news to cover a scandal such as the one building here would be overwhelming. This type of publicity could be very bad for Bella and Emmett as well as my family.

Bella followed me out of the truck and I wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her into my side as we walked through the pushy reporters. Emmett moved to Bella's other side, bending to whisper something into her ear as we made our way toward the police station. And then it began, the reporters descended, recognizing us immediately.

"Ms. Swan, what do you think about Ms. Denali's arrest?"

"Isn't Ms. Denali living with your ex-husband?"

"How do you feel about your husband's mistress being the person poisoning your horses?"

"Mr. Cullen, what are your thoughts on this whole ordeal?"

"How are you connected to Ms. Swan, Mr. Cullen?"

"Do you think it's jealousy that drove Ms. Denali to it?"

The reporters threw out question after question, each one more asinine and designed to get a response out of one of us. This was going to be a nightmare. I could feel Bella flinch and press herself further into my side with each question.

Once inside the police station, Emmett stepped to the desk to ask for the Investigator. Bella began to relax a little and pulled away from me when we saw Charlie step out of an office, followed by Investigator Brooks. Bella crossed to where they stood and extended a hand to shake the investigators hand.

"Hello, Ms. Swan, it's good to see you again. I'm glad to be able to see you now that we've made the breaks to put this case to rest, and you can all put it behind you soon." The investigator smiled at Bella before releasing her hand. Bella turned and hugged Charlie, whispering something to him before returning her attention to the investigator.

"So, where do we go from here? What do you need us to do?" Bella turned to wave me over to where she stood.

Shaking hands, we exchanged greetings before the investigator led us all into a larger conference room. I was surprised to see Carlisle and Jasper already seated in the room along with three other people. With the introductions made, the man who I now knew was the district attorney got to the point rather quickly. The DA's paralegal and Ranger Michaels were the other two people in attendance. Bella had mentioned speaking with the Ranger a few times over the last few weeks and I knew he was working somewhat as a liaison between Investigator Brooks and the DA. It was unusual for all of us to be speaking at one time and the DA explained that our official statements would be done individually, but he wanted to go over a few details first.

DA Roberts made his apologies for the leak of the arrests to the newspapers and that an internal investigation was being launched into how that information was given out so early. We were all advised to not make any statements publicly except through our lawyers and this would ensure that there were no slips in anything that would allow for an issue to arise with the prosecutions case against Tanya. He made reference to more charges pending against Tanya, but didn't go into any further detail.

Several hours later Bella, Emmett, and I were making our way back out of the police station. I was completely exhausted and I knew Bella was, as well. It had been the longest freakin' day in the history of time.

"You alright, baby?" I whispered as we got settled in Emmett's truck, once again having to deal with the reporters, but at least the numbers had dwindled.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Bella smiled a weary smile, placing her hand on my thigh and leaning her head on my shoulder. "It's been a really long day."

I pressed a kiss into her hair. "Yeah, it has."

"So, I guess I'll drop you off at your parent's house, Edward? Or...." Emmett asked without taking his eyes from the road as he pulled onto the highway.

The fact I had not thought about where I would be staying now that we were home had completely escaped me until that moment. Bella and I had not discussed living arrangements and things were different than they were when I left a few weeks ago. I knew I would need to find a place of my own when I left, but now.....Bella had her own home, one in which I did not live.

Bella sat up straight and looked at me with a mixture of emotions on her face. "You're staying with me, right?" Bella whispered.

"Is that what you want?" I asked, unsure what was the right move.

"Why would I not want you...I...if you don't want to it's okay. I just thought....never mind, I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I just assumed, I wasn't thinking. I'm sure you'd probably like to go home. It's fine," Bella's eyes dropped to her hands which she was wringing in her lap.

"Bella," I hooked a finger under her chin to lift her face so she had to look at me. "Baby, there is nowhere I want to be more. I just didn't want to assume anything. We haven't discussed what we would do once we were back home. So I wasn't sure, but of course I want to stay with you tonight. I want to wake up tomorrow with you in my arms, darlin. I've gotten used to you laying beside me and I don't want to go to bed without you there." Leaning in, I kissed her perfect lips, but before we could deepen our embrace Emmett cleared his throat.

He shot me a look but then smirked, "Uh...could you two put a hold on that shit. She's my sister, man, and I _really _do not need to see or hear that."

Bella and I both laughed before she punched him in the chest.

Waking the next morning with my arms wrapped around Bella's sleeping form was absolutely the best feeling. There were simply no words to describe how happy I was at that moment. After the stress of our homecoming, I couldn't think of any better way to start a new day. But I also knew that Bella and I needed to have a talk about where we go from here with living arrangements and what would happen regarding the case over the next few weeks. Judging by the amount of coverage the case was already receiving, it was pretty obvious things were going to get interesting quickly.  
I had hoped we would have some time to ease our way into my new job working at the Swan ranch, and how that would effect our relationship. Though I had not given a great deal of thought to what the changes in our relationship over the days we were in Vegas would mean when we returned home, it was obvious that things were going to start changing fast and Bella and I needed to make sure we were on the same page. Though Bella made it clear she wanted me here last night, I wasn't sure if that was her way of taking the next step in a round about way of having me move in with her. I wanted nothing more than to be here in her home, in her bed, for the rest of my days, but we needed to do this right and if that's what she wanted then fine. I just needed to know where we stood on the issue.

As all these thoughts were running through my head, Bella rolled over, snuggling deeper into my side, and hummed a contented sigh as she wrapped an arm around my waist, her small fingers lazily running up and down my chest, causing me to shiver. I felt Bella's lips turn up in a smile.

"Good morning," she mumbled sleepily.

"Good morning, darlin," I kissed the top of her head. "Did you sleep well?"

"Umhmm," she hummed and pressed a kiss to the center of my chest before turning her head and resting her cheek there.

I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as I tried to garner my courage to broach this subject with her. As badly as I wanted to stay right where we were and as much as I feared where this discussion would lead, I knew we needed to have it.

"Baby, we need to talk," I whispered against her forehead as I pressed another kiss to her skin.

"'Bout what," Bella responded through a yawn and rubbed her nose in my chest, giggling.

I cleared my throat, "About this, baby," I gestured between us with my free hand. "About what this means, honey, I don't know what you want me to do. I want to be here but I don't want to push you into something that you're not ready for. I just need to know what you're thinking about what this means."

"Edward, what are you talking about?" Bella turned her head, resting her chin on my chest so she could look in my eyes.

I sighed heavily as I ran my hands over the supple skin of her back.

"Bella, are we moving in together or do I need to start looking for a place to live? I just need to know what you want to do. I know you wanted me to stay last night and, like I told you, there is nowhere I want to be more. But I don't want to do this if you feel we're moving too quickly and you're not ready to take that step." Bella's eyes locked with mine. I couldn't read the look on her face and my heart stuttered in my chest as the silence hung in the air like a heavy cloud.

"I....it's okay, Bella. You're not ready for that step and I understand," I tried to swallow the hurt, not letting it seep into my voice or show on my face.

"Edward, no, that's....give me a minute here. I'm just a little startled that you're asking if I want you to move in here. I guess I felt it made sense that you would move in here, not thinking that we needed to really talk about it. I'm sorry that I didn't make it more clear, but yes, I want you here. You haven't unpacked your things at your parent's house, right?"

I shook my head, not trusting my voice as my breathing had picked up considerably with Bella's words, and she smiled.

"Well, then that's all the better. We can just go through your things and decide what we need and what we don't. The rest we can just put in storage for now. Is that okay? I mean is that what you want to do?"

I wrapped my arms around Bella's body and pulled her on top of me, hugging her tightly.

"Darlin', there is nothing that would make be happier."

"Well, Mr. Cullen, although the thought of moving in together makes me very, very happy, I can think of one other thing that would make me much happier this morning...." Bella's voice trailed off suggestively as she looked up at me through her thick lashes.

"Hmmm....and just what might that be, my love?" I whispered before pressing my lips to hers. Bella yelped when I flipped us to cover her body with mine. We both moaned in pleasure as I entered her body with a shift of my hips.

_Home._

I was truly home for the first time in many years. Bella and I would make this our home and I couldn't have been happier.

~*~

The following days were.... well, stressful wasn't a significant enough word to describe the shit storm that ensued after the case broke and the news began reporting every last detail about Tanya and her connection to Bella and both our families. Bella and I began moving my things in the day of our talk and though it felt good to be taking that step in our relationship, at the same time it was another area of tension in an already high stress time for both of us. The tension of making room in Bella's home and unpacking my things there along with trying to find my groove in the new position at the ranch had both of us on edge.

Bella and I were discussing the upcoming breeding season when her cell rang.

"Hello.....Yes, this is Bella Swan.....no....how did you get this number?" I could see Bella's temper rising as her cheeks flushed.

"Listen, I do not have a comment and I would appreciate you not calling this number again. If you do, I can promise you will be hearing from my lawyer about the harassment suit I'll be filing. Do I make myself clear?"

"Who was that, baby?" I asked as I looked up from the computer spreadsheet containing the breeding schedule I was currently going over.

"GAH! That was a reporter from The Horse Gazette trying to get a statement about the case."

And that was the beginning of the phone calls and unexpected visits from reporters trying to get an exclusive on the story that was being played out in the papers. The plan Tanya had to ruin the Swans as well as my family's reputation and their businesses was splayed all over the social pages and the sports pages alike. It seems that she had not only orchestrated the poisonings, but also had started working her way through the social connections to plant rumors and innuendos that would hurt the social standing of each family. The latest of that plan was still in play with the sob story she was telling anyone who would listen. Once Eleazar posted Tanya's bail, she began playing up to the media that she had been under such stress that she finally snapped. She began spinning a story of problems Bella had caused between her and Tyler. It was all bullshit, but it made for great tabloid news. Bella's marriage to Tyler and subsequent divorce due to his infidelity with Tanya made great fodder for the hounds that liked to twist those sort of stories into something that they're not.

Between the calls from reporters and the calls from clients concerned about the publicity the case was getting, Bella was beside herself with the potential loss from this mess.

I began answering all of the calls coming into the ranch and asked her to allow her calls to go to voice mail unless it was one of us calling, hoping to deflect some of the stress away from her shoulders. I placed a call to my lawyer, Jason Scott, to set up a meeting to take care of any harassment issues that might arise from this point on. Luckily, he was also Bella and Emmett's lawyer so he was already familiar with the state of things.

Bella and Emmett had a meeting with their employees the day after we returned from Vegas. They wanted to give them the latest news and inform them to not make any statements to the press regardless of what was said or asked. They also made it clear that if any of them were approached by a reporter or anyone outside of the authorities to let one of us know immediately. It was at this meeting that it was announced I would be taking over as the resident veterinarian, so any issues that arose with the health of the animals would now be going through me, and that James was no longer affiliated with the Swan ranch.

The meeting with James a few days later did not go as well as Bella hoped. James was beyond upset that he was being fired. Though he, at this point, had been cleared of any wrong doing, the implications of continuing a business relationship with him were something the ranch could not afford. Bella wanted me to go with her and Emmett to meet with James. Although I wanted to be there for her, I felt that in many ways it made the situation more uncomfortable because James viewed me simply as the veterinarian taking his place. And I have to admit I would have most likely reacted in the same manner.

Needless to say, his back was up as soon as I walked in the room and it only went downhill from there. After an hour of back and forth discussions about all the reasons the decision to sever their working relationship was made, everyone concerned was frustrated and angry.

"Listen James, I'm sorry. I really don't know how else to explain it. But we feel that it's in our best interests to cut ties with anyone linked to this mess. I'm sorry, but we can't have anymore bad publicity. This is a nightmare for us and I've already been fielding calls from current clients as well as ones we have scheduled for future business and I can't risk losing any of them because of this. You have to understand that." Bella tried to no avail.

James just didn't understand their position and why they made the decision to terminate their business agreement with him.

"Bella, come on, I did nothing to cause this. My reputation has been ruined by all this, as well. Do you understand what's going to happen to my practice if you two pull your business from me, too? I'm going to lose everything!" James was furiously pacing around his office.

"James, I'm very sorry that it worked out this way, but you must understand this is a business decision. Bella and Emmett are only doing what is in the best interest of their ranch. You have to see that," I tried to reason, hoping that on some level he would see that this was not a personal decision and that it had everything to do with the facts surrounding his involvement, regardless of his guilt in the matter. The ranch couldn't afford to be tied to him any longer.

"Don't you tell me how sorry you are in the way this worked out! You're benefiting from this in more ways than one. So I don't need to hear how sorry you are for this situation." James glared at me with unbridled fury in his eyes.

Emmett shot me a look before he spoke up, "James, look, we understand how this must look to you, but rest assured the personal side of Bella and Edward's relationship has nothing to do with this decision. Again, we're sorry, but this is a decision that has already been made. There is nothing else to say on the matter. Bella and I are both in agreement about this. We can't risk the implications that continuing our business relationship with you carry. I'm sorry. Tanya and Victoria have hurt a lot of people with this, but it's just how it has to be. I'm sorry."

And with Emmett's last words, we left an infuriated James to pick up the pieces of his career and begin rebuilding from what was left. Bella was quiet as we made our way out of James' office, but by the time we were back at the barn she seemed to be over whatever was bothering her and was back to herself.

As more and more information was released in the press in the days following our meeting with James, it came out that he had an intimate relationship with Victoria as well as the professional one everyone was aware of, so he lost much more than his reputation with the scandal. Tanya had paid Victoria well for her part in the plan, but in the end it was Victoria who turned on her and broke the case wide open. In return for a lighter sentence, Victoria had spilled her guts about Tanya approaching her with a plan already laid out and a large amount of money. Victoria had allowed the authorities to tap her phone and then got Tanya to start talking.

It wasn't genius on Tanya's part or spy worthy investigation work that broke the case. It simply boiled down to Tanya not covering her ass and trusting the wrong people with information. The phone records proved that Tanya and Victoria had been in contact with one another on numerous occasions before and after the poisonings.

Tyler subsequently came out with a public statement through his lawyer, once Tanya began her public sympathy campaign, stating he had no prior knowledge of Tanya's plans and expressed his sympathies to both 'the family of his ex-wife and that of the Cullens'. It was bullshit and I knew it, but Bella seemed to just let it roll off with no real response one way or the other. I, on the other hand, felt there was no doubt that he didn't have some knowledge, at the very least he was aware of Tanya's attempt to ruin the social reputation of our families, and he did nothing to stop it.

Anytime I tried to talk about that fact, Bella would shut down the discussion before it even got started. That, in and of itself, frustrated me to no end.

I was both physically and emotionally drained from the stress of trying to settle the nerves of clients and learning the ropes of the ranch breeding program at the same time as moving into Bella's house.

It was a huge adjustment for both Bella and I to work together, and then whatever this was we were doing with our relationship. It was all very stressful and it had my fuse shorter than usual. And if that wasn't enough, Bella had gotten a call last night from Seth. Although I understood their relationship was platonic, with the stress of everything going on right now, it just set wrong with me.

Bella was like a different person when she was talking to Seth. I knew I was being a jealous prick, but I couldn't help it. I didn't really get to know Seth, but he seemed like an alright guy. And even though I knew it was completely irrational and what Bella would tell me if I mentioned it, I didn't like it.

But then she came to bed after getting off the phone to only kiss me quickly, yawning loudly, "God, I'm so tired. Night, baby." And with that she turned over and fell asleep immediately.

_What. The. Hell? _

I was completely beside myself with jealousy and pissed off beyond all reason.

Needless to say there was little sleeping after that and it wasn't surprising that I was in a bad mood to start my morning off the next day. As I parked my car next to Bella's Mustang, I noticed a truck I didn't recognize in front of the barn. Bella and I usually drove in together, but today she left early to get in an early work out session. We were scheduled to meet with the lawyer later in the afternoon to talk about a civil suit against Tanya and Victoria.

I waved in greeting to Laurent who was just coming out of the hay shed as I stepped out of my car and made my way into the barn. Calling out Bella's name when I didn't see anyone in the aisle way, it looked as though most the horses were either in their stall or in the turn out paddock, so she had finished her work outs. Maverick stuck his head over his half door.

"Hey, little guy," I cooed and patted his muzzle as I passed him on my way to the office.

"Bella? Baby, are you-" my words cut off as I stepped into the office.

_Tyler!_

A veil of red fell over my eyes as I saw the way Tyler stood over Bella. His voice was low and pleading, but his body language clearly stated he was trying to intimidate her with his closeness. I wondered if this was how he treated her when they were married.

"Look Tyler, I have nothing more I want or need to say to you. You've said your peace and I've said mine. Now I really just need you to leave."

"Bella, just give me a minute, okay? I'm sorry. I just....I can't even tell you how sorry I am. Please, Bella, I need you to believe me when I say I didn't know anything about what Tanya was capable of," Tyler pleaded.

"Look, Tyler, I know, alright? I believe you, but really I don't want to talk with you about this anymore. There's no reason for you to be a part of my life anymore. So just leave, okay?" Bella moved to push past him, but Tyler stepped in front of her, blocking her and not allowing her to move away from him.

"Bella, please." Tyler placed his hands on Bella's shoulders and ran his hands down over her upper arm and back. "I really am sor-."

I closed the distance between us. His words cut off as he looked up and released his hold on Bella. He stumbled back and there was a satisfying crunching noise as my fist connected. His hand was instantly over his face as the blood poured from his obviously broken nose. I reached a hand out to push Bella behind me. I was ready when he came running at me and side stepped him easily, but Tyler righted himself and spun quickly, landing a fist to my left cheek.

I buried my shoulder in his stomach as we both tumbled out of the open office door and into the aisle way of the barn. He landed a couple of fists to my side, knocking the wind out of me momentarily.

Another fist to his nose and Tyler stumbled back once more before I tackled him, pinning his body to the ground with my knees on either side of him, my fist connecting again and again with his face and head. I could vaguely hear Bella's voice yelling at us to stop, but I was too overwhelmed with the fury to heed her pleas.

The next thing I knew, a pair of huge arms were pulling me backwards.

"I'm gonna kick your ass. I swear to God. Don't you ever put your fucking hands on her again, you son of a bitch!" I yelled as I struggled against the vice like grip.

"Edward, dude, calm the fuck down," Emmett spoke into my ear as he drug me away from Tyler.

I could see Laurent helping Tyler off the ground and him refusing any assistance, jerking his arm away from Laurent's grasp.

"Let me go! I'm not finished with him yet!" I tried to pull my arms away from Emmett's grip, but he only held on tighter.

"Goddammit, Edward, shut up! Stop fighting me!" Emmett's voice boomed from behind me.

It was just then that Bella stepped in front of me. When I saw the look on her face, I stopped fighting against Emmett's hold and he released me.

Bella reached out, gently gripping my chin to turn my head so she could get a better look at my face. The metallic taste of blood filled my mouth as the adrenaline shooting through my body began to dissipate. The blinding rage I felt a few minutes ago was starting to abate as I looked into Bella's eyes. Taking my hand, she pulled me back toward the office door.

Once we were inside the office, I crossed to lean against Bella's desk and folded my arms over my chest. I wiped at the corner of my mouth with one hand, noticing the blood that was on my fingers and grimacing. Bella took a deep breath, leaned back against the door, and our eyes locked. Her dark brown eyes were almost black with the emotion I could see in them. I could feel the tension rolling off her body, but at that moment I wasn't sure who she was upset with, me or Tyler.

_  
_"Edward," Bella sighed, her eyes never left mine as she took another deep breath.  
I watched as she turned and made her way toward the bathroom.

"We need to clean up that lip and you probably need some ice for your eye," her tone was even, though I could see by the set of her shoulders how upset she was. I heard the water running in the bathroom and a few moments later she was back with a wet facecloth in hand. The anger and adrenaline finally started to seep from my body as Bella gently cleaned my face.

"That looks pretty rough," she came to stand in front of me and reached up to begin cleaning the blood from my split lip. I hissed as she touched the soft cloth to my swollen bleeding lip. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, baby, I'm fine." Reaching out, I tucked a stray lock of hair behind Bella's ear and her eyes shot to mine, staring at me for a long moment.

"Edward," she whispered closing her eyes. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"Yes, baby, I know. I love you, too. Bella-" At that moment a loud knock interrupted our conversation.

"Yes?" Bella called to whoever was on the other side of the door.

Laurent stuck his head inside the door, he wore a slight smirk which turned to a grimace when Bella caught his expression.

"Uh...sorry Bella, it's just that there's a reporter out here and....well, Emmett wanted me to come get you," Laurent said sheepishly.

"Holy shit," Bella's eyes shot to mine. "Oh God, Laurent, please tell me that Tyler was already gone before they got here. Even if he wasn't, lie to me...Jesus. This could not have happened on a worse....I swear to God...." Bella's eyes flashed with anger as she stepped away from me toward where Laurent stood in the doorway.

"Shit, Bella, I'm sorry....I," I began stammering and stood up straight from where I still leaned on Bella's desk.

"No....just...Laurent, was Tyler gone before they got here?" Bella asked turning to shoot me a look, stopping me in my tracks as I stood to follow her out.

"Yes ma'am, he was in his truck and on the way down the driveway before they drove up," Laurent replied, still looking as though he wanted to give me a plaque or something for finally beating the shit out of Tyler.

Bella sighed heavily, handing me the face cloth she still held in her hand before making her way toward the door. She turned to look at me, "We'll talk about this later, okay? I'll....just get cleaned up, please. We have to meet Mr. Scott at one o'clock. I think there's an extra shirt in the closet in the bathroom." Bella threw me a weary smile before closing the office door.

Crossing the room to enter the bathroom, I turned on the cold water to wet the face cloth once again. Looking up to take in my reflection in the mirror, I groaned, "Shit." I turned my head from side to side, getting my first look at the split lip and the bruise already forming on my left cheek. I gingerly began trying to clean the blood from my face. I hissed as the cloth came into contact with my swollen lip. I caught a glimpse of my knuckles in the mirror and groaned again as the angry cuts and bruises were clear to see, obvious of what I had just done.

"That's gonna hurt like a bitch," I laughed humorlessly.

I'm twenty-eight years old. I haven't been in an actual fist fight since I was a freshman in college, but I couldn't say I was sorry for finally beating the shit out of Tyler. Removing the ripped and bloodied shirt, I slipped on one of the shirts from the small closet in the office bathroom.

I walked back into the office. I groaned as I threw myself on the sofa. I closed my eyes and wondered how upset Bella would be when she came back. I'm not sure how long I laid on the couch going over the events leading up to the fight and the ways that I could have handled it differently and all the reasons that would explain Tyler being here. Why was he here? The more I thought about why he would be here and a reporter showing up, too….something just didn't sit right with me about that. It just seemed too coincidental to me.

I took a deep breath but kept my eyes closed when I heard the click of the door opening and then closing. The soft thud of Bella's boots on the wood floor alerted me to the fact that she was walking toward me. I felt the tips of her fingers lightly brush over my left cheek, which I'm sure had a really nice sized bruise on it by this point. Slowly I opened my eyes to see Bella kneeling by the sofa.

"Hi," she breathed with a small smile on her face as she shook her head. I could see the anger still brewing behind her eyes like storm clouds on the horizon.

"Hi." I whispered. Sitting up, I pulled her onto the couch next to me, taking her hands in mine before I spoke. "Bella...." my voice trailing off as I tried to decide the best way to proceed with what I thought about Tyler's little visit today.

"Edward, do you have any...I mean do you... do you know what it could have meant for this ranch if that reporter had shown up when all that was going on? Can you just imagine?" Bella stood from the sofa and crossed to her desk. "God, Edward! I just...I mean I get it. I understand that you were trying to protect me. Tyler is an ass but..." she waved a hand dismissively as she sat in her chair.

"Bella, I...." Leaning forward I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to calm the rising of my temper. "Baby, have you thought about why Tyler would show up today? Do you really think it was coincidence that he shows up? And that a reporter shows up just a short time later? Why was he even here, Bella?" I knew my words came out sharp and by the look on Bella's face she caught on to my rising ire.

"He....he came to apologize, Edward. Why would you-"

"Apologize? What do you mean apologize?" I asked incredulously, cutting her off before she could continue.

Bella blanched at the tone of my voice. "I.....He was apologizing for everything, Edward. For being a complete ass for the majority of our marriage. For not realizing what Tanya was doing and stopping it before it got so out of hand. Tyler just wanted me to know that he didn't have any idea what was going on....I mean, Edward…..do you really think he came here just to cause more problems?" Bella looked me in the eye and shook her head. "Really, Edward?"

Her flippant and dismissive attitude toward Tyler and the reasons for his coming here today had my blood boiling again. Surely Bella did not believe for one second that bastard was here only to apologize. And even though in that moment I should have realized I was making a bad situation worse, I didn't. Therefore, I couldn't stop myself from making an even bigger mistake and really pissing Bella off. I stood from the sofa and crossed the room to where Bella sat behind her desk. My palms slamming flat on the wood as I loomed over her. Bella's eyes went wide with shock and then narrowed as she met my furious gaze.

"Are you fucking kidding me?! Seriously, Bella? How the hell can you be so fucking naïve? After everything he has put you through, you're willing to just overlook all of that because he came in and apologized? Really? Honest to God, Bella, and you thought he was sincere? You cannot be serious!"

Bella's eyes flashed with every emotion possible in rapid fire succession, anger, pain, shock, hurt. Slowly standing from her chair, she placed her hands flat on the desk, matching my stance, and leaned toward me so close our noses were almost touching.

"Get out," she spat, her voice low and deadly.

"What?!" My breath caught in my throat and I stood up from my position of leaning on the desk.

Bella stared me down as I felt my heart constrict.

"I....Bella.....I," I began to stammer trying to backtrack as the piss and vinegar I had just been spewing was quickly replaced by the realization that I had gone way too fucking far. I tried to round the desk, but Bella pushed me out of her way as she made her way toward the door.

"No, who the hell do you think you are to call me naïve?" Bella turned, punching my chest furiously with her finger as I tried to follow her. "You know you should be thanking your stars that I'm so fucking naïve to believe someone when they ask it of me, for being an asshole at one time or another in their life." Bella laughed almost maniacally with tears brimming in her eyes. "Because...had it not been for my lack in judgment, apparent naivety, and complete willingness to at least listen to someone when they want to apologize, whether I really believed them or not... If it weren't for that, we wouldn't be standing here having this discussion, now would we?"

I watched as a tear slid down her cheek, my hand twitched in its need to reach out to wipe it away. Bella shook her head sadly, taking a deep breath before turning on her heel and without so much as another glance in my direction she was gone.

I flinched from the sound as the door slammed behind her.

"Argh!" I groaned, burying my hands in my hair and dropping my head on my shoulders.

_What the hell is wrong with you?_

Instead of thinking, I had created a much bigger problem by yelling at her and accusing her of being naïve. I made my way out of the office to find Bella and beg her not to put my stupid ass on the road.

My heart slammed against my chest with the thoughts that Bella might just have finally had enough of my drama and would decide it just wasn't worth it.  
I didn't have to go far to find Bella. She stood with her back to me just inside Maverick's stall. I watched her for a long moment as she stroked his muzzle and neck. Bella was completely in love with that colt. And as much as I knew she wouldn't admit to it, I think his being orphaned so young fulfilled something in her.

"What do you want, Edward?" Bella's voice was thick with the tears I knew I would see rolling down her face. The lump in my throat grew ten fold and I felt as though it would choke me.

"Bella, please," I whispered, my hands closing into fists as I felt them begin to shake.

"Please what, Edward?" Bella looked at me then and what I saw in her face was like a knife to my heart. "You want me to what? Accept your apology?" she sneered. "Is that what you expect from me? To be naïve, isn't that what you said? To take the fact that you tell me you're sorry as what? To accept that you're sincere, that you really mean it. To listen to what you have to say, to understand that you were angry? You didn't mean to be an ass, right? Is that what you want?" Bella's body shook as a sob ripped through her body.

Closing the distance between us, I wrapped my arms around her and prayed that she wouldn't push me away, though she had every right to. I wanted her to let me hold her and try to take away the hurt I had caused.

Bella's body stiffened before she buried her face in my chest, her fingers fisted my shirt and I felt her tears begin to soak through as she let them fall.

"Baby, I know I have no right to say I'm sorry and expect you to accept that. But...God, Bella, please don't....I can't live without you. I don't know why I spoke to you like that, there is absolutely no excuse. This whole day has been one fuck up after another on my part and there is nothing else I can say except I'm sorry. I am so sorry for hurting you, for speaking to you out of anger over a situation.....please tell me that I haven't messed this all up yet again." I couldn't look at Bella as I finished spilling my heart and buried my head in her hair as I tightened my arms around her body.

"I am _not_ naïve, Edward," Bella murmured against my chest, her hands twisting in my shirt, "and I'm not stupid. I might have been blind for quite a long time, in regards to Tyler, but I'm not an idiot. I know that he isn't sincere with what he said. I also know that for the most part he doesn't know how to be truly remorseful. But I didn't listen to his apology, I didn't accept it and forgive him...." Bella's voice trailed off as she lifted her head to look me in the eye. She brought her hands up to frame my face, softly caressing my cheeks with her thumbs. The tenderness and love I saw in her eyes broke my heart for the way I had spoken to her just a short time ago. "I didn't forgive him when he asked for him, just as I didn't forgive you for you. I did that for myself, Edward. I can't live my life with all the hurt and pain and.....I can't hold onto all that anger anymore. I've thought about this so much and I realized that I have to forgive all those things and let them go. Otherwise, I'm never going to be happy again. I'm never going to be able to enjoy what we have between us. If I held onto the hurt and the pain in my heart for all the bad things that have happened, how can I really have everything with you? I meant what I said, I want it all, with you. And I won't give Tyler the power to hold me back from all of that. Not anymore. By not forgiving him for the hurtful things he did during our marriage, I let him matter too much. If I hold onto that, then it lets him have a part of me still. I'm not being blind to him, I'm choosing to let it go. If you see that as being naïve.....well, I'm sorry about that, but it's the only way I can be happy again." Bella looked at me with those huge brown eyes that I absolutely lose myself in every single time.

I was stunned completely silent by Bella's admission and utterly ashamed of the way I spoke to her, of the things I said. This woman was far from naïve and I was sorely mistaken in ever thinking she was.

"You are an amazing woman, do you know that? I'm in complete awe of you and only wish there was some way, some words that I could say that would make up for the way I....Bella, I'm so sorry." I lowered my lips to her forehead, pressing a gentle kiss there before showing the same attention to her eyelids and both cheeks, ghosting my lips over her flawless skin to cover her mouth with mine in a slow, tender kiss of apology.

"Is there anything I can do to make this up to you?" I whispered against her lips when we finally broke apart.

Pressing our foreheads together, my hands lazily ran over her back, holding her body closer to mine.

"Yes....you can start trusting me and stop apologizing. Edward, just fix it. Stop treating me as if I were going to break at any moment. I'm not. Yes, all of this has been incredibly stressful, but I'm not falling apart because of it. I need you to hold me, not hold me together. I want you to stand beside me, not in front of me trying to fight off the world. I just need you to trust me, otherwise none of this is going to work - not you working here on the ranch, or _us_. Okay?"

I smiled at her and quickly pressed my lips to hers. Tightening my arms around her tiny waist, I picked her up off the ground and held her to me as she giggled against my mouth, and I knew all was right with my world once again.

* * *

**A/N: So? **

**Thanks again to all of you who have reviewed, fav'd, or alerted MMB. There are a few more days left to vote on The Silent Tears awards. MMB as you know is nom'd for Best Surviving Love. Go vote: **http://silent-tear-awards(dot)webs(dot)com/vote(dot)htm

**I'm currently working on the o/s for the Fandom Gives Back and it should be to the winner in the next several days. After she has seen it and is happy with the story it will post. So be looking for it in the next couple weeks. =)**

**I want to give a shout out to lyricalkris if you guys haven't read any of her stories you have no idea what you're missing. Go give her a looksee. There's a link to her profile in my fav authors.  
**

**She popped my Jasper/Bella cherry. And she and I know how difficult that was for both of us but her o/s Alice's Jasper/Edward's Bella is amazing!  
**


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, no copyright infringement is intended. **

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in the chapter. Between the holidays, finishing the Fandom Gives Back piece, a little bit of writers block and basically life in general this chapter was a monster to get finished.  
**

**I have to send out a huge thank you to Jessica1971, cause she's the bestest beta evah! She worked her magic on this monster and made it readable. **

**Bella gets to tell her side of the events leading up to the fight and argument with Edward in this chapter. I hope it sheds a little more light on things happening with our favorite couple. ****Overwhelmingly you all got it with the last chapter that not everything is always smooth sailing when two people, regardless of how much they love one another, move in together and begin trying to blend two very strong personalities under one roof. Sometimes there are fireworks. I have to say that you guys are all amazing and I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate your support of this story!!  
**

* * *

Chapter 24

BPOV

My mind was in a tailspin from all the events that occurred since Edward and I had returned from Vegas. Honestly, the events while still _in_ Vegas were enough to have me more jumbled up than I can even explain. A smile spread across my face as I thought about our time in Las Vegas and opening my hotel door to find Edward's beautiful green eyes staring back at me. I felt my body heat at the images of what happened after that little surprise and I snickered to myself at the look on Edward's face when I leapt into his arms. The period while Edward was gone gave me a lot of time to think about what I wanted with my life, what I wanted with Edward. I knew there was no turning back once I told him what my feelings were. I never lost the love I felt for him, I had held it in the recesses of my heart all these years. Finally telling him was the first step in making sure that he understood I was _all in_. I wasn't walking away from _us_. And I wasn't running away from him, not this time. I wasn't letting him go again. But all hell broke loose once we got home from our little reconnecting vacation.

I knew we hadn't talked about what we would do in regards to our living arrangements. I wanted Edward with me, in my home. I wanted to make it _our_ home. So when he questioned whether I was sure I wanted him to go home with me after we left the police station the afternoon we got home, I was shocked. I stumbled over my words because I was suddenly struck with the idea that maybe Edward wasn't as _all in _as I thought. His assurances that he wanted to be nowhere else pulled my heart out of my stomach where it suddenly had taken up residence. The next morning when Edward said we needed to talk, I tried to keep my composure as my heart skidded to a thudding stop. Edward asking what we were doing knocked me off guard for a moment, and he misunderstood my lack of response to mean I wasn't ready to take the step that I thought we had already taken when I asked him to stay with me.

I quickly made sure to explain to him I wanted nothing more than him with me every night, for the rest of forever. There was no reason for him to look for another place when I had a perfectly good home. When Edward said he hadn't unpacked any of his things from his apartment in Georgia, I was beside myself with happiness. It made Edward moving into my house all the more easy. And really the only bright spot in all that was going on had been Edward moving in with me.

I wasn't necessarily surprised it was Tanya behind Lacy's horrible death, as well as the loss of the foals over the past year. She and her jealousy cost my family and this ranch more than I could put a price tag. She and I never got along growing up and I knew she was a vindictive bitch with a penchant for grandiose ideas about her abilities to run Eleazar's ranch. But the level at which she was willing to go to make a name for her ranch was beyond any comprehension. Dealing with the backlash of bad publicity from this whole mess was utterly exhausting. Most in the family felt it wasn't personal against me. The animosity between the two of us just heightened her desire to go after me and my family first. I wasn't sure what her reasoning was, but at the end of the day it really didn't matter so much why, I just wanted it done and over with. I wanted nothing more than to get this whole thing taken care of and behind us so we could all move on.  
Edward and what we were doing to build our relationship was much more important to me than the reasons why Tanya did what she did. She had been caught and she would be spending the next few years in prison if everything went as it should during next week's trial.

The reporters were relentless. Edward was livid when the first phone call came to my cell phone. Emmett and I had cell numbers that were private. The fact that a reporter was able to get the number and contact me personally when we wouldn't make any statements outside of the one that had been released by our lawyer was a little unnerving.

And true to form, Edward went into overdrive, making phone calls to our lawyer and demanding things be taken care of immediately. Jason went to work quickly, informing us how to handle the situation and advising us to not make any statements without speaking with him first.

The public war that Tanya began as soon as she was out on bail was utterly ridiculous. The personal links between she and I were the perfect little tidbit that newspapers just love to get their hands on. It was like a gossip mongers wet dream, and having the opportunity to get a love triangle angle going as soon as it was discovered Tanya was living with my ex-husband was more than they could have hoped for.

Many of the facts of why my marriage to Tyler had dissolved were splayed over the daily social pages. Some things that I kept quiet from anyone, including a few that even my family were not aware of, were retold for all our friends and business associates to see. Jasper was the only one privy to a few of those facts, but he always kept my secret even when some of those things came out. He never let on he knew a thing; Jasper is a saint.  
The day that Tyler released his public statement regarding the matter, I felt as though the wind was knocked out of me. Really? He expressed his apologies? What the hell was that all about? He would have come out of this much better publicly had he just kept his head down and his mouth shut. But of course that wasn't a strong suit of his, and I thanked God that I no longer had to deal with him or his idiocy. That was yet another reason I wanted all of this to be done. I wanted no reason to have any further contact with Tyler. I knew Edward wanted to talk about the things being said in the papers. Honestly, I just didn't want Tyler or Tanya or James or even Victoria to be a part of my life anymore. I couldn't find reason to talk about what Tyler had to say in his public apology; it didn't change anything, the facts were the facts. It really mattered not one bit to me whether Tyler knew what Tanya was up to or not, and it felt like beating a dead horse to continue to rehash the past in that way. It was pointless and I just wanted to get back to normal, to start building my life with Edward.

And to make matters worse, the fact that James Anderson DVM was, at the time of the poisonings, the ranch vet, and that his own employees had pulled this off right under his nose was played out in the papers as well, and it wasn't pretty for us or for James. Although the decision to sever our ties with James had been made and sealed before the case broke, the timing and the fact that he was being replaced by Edward made things harder for James to accept. I understood his position but there was no other option for us.

Explaining the changes we made to ensure the safety of our animals, calming the nerves of clients who had mares scheduled for breeding this season, as well as those we were beginning to set up contracts with for training, was exhausting - emotionally and physically. Add to that explaining to Edward all the inner workings of how our ranch ran and generally adjusting to each others working style. Edward and I definitely had different work habits. While Emmett and I have worked hard making this ranch work like a well oiled machine, Edward brings a whole new definition to intensity. All the while dealing with adjusting to the new work schedule, we moved Edward into my house.

It had been one of the longest, most taxing days to date when Edward decided we needed to unpack some of his smaller boxes from the move. I wasn't really feeling the need to do the sort and shelve thing, but Edward was insistent that we needed to get them out of the way. Evidently they were driving him nuts sitting in the corner of the office. Edward is incredibly persnickety about his things, bordering on anal retentive, which is one of the traits he has that I was very much aware of. It didn't usually bother me, because that's just Edward; most of the time I find it funny and kind of endearing. But it wasn't endearing or funny when we began sorting through Edward's CD and book collection. I knew Edward liked to read, but.... lets just say I thought I had an extensive book collection. The number of books that were packed in those boxes was overwhelming.

After an hour of unpacking and placing the books on the shelf, only to have him leave his box of CD's to rearrange the order in which the books were aligned, all the while listening to all the reasons we needed to update our computer program for tracking the brood mares and their productivity, I gave up.

Deciding that cleaning up the dinner dishes was much more interesting and important at the moment. I excused myself and made my way out of the room to the kitchen. Needless to say, I was at the end of my rope; I just needed a break from talking about work or the trial the following week.

So when Seth called, it was the perfect opportunity to get my mind off the current state of aggravation I found myself in. The fact that I could talk to him about something _other _than what a mess things were right now was more than appealing.

"Seth!" I squealed into the phone as I answered. His deep chuckle came over the line and I couldn't stop the smile that broke out on my face.

The scowl on Edward's face when I noticed him standing in the doorway of the kitchen took me by surprise, though, and I quirked an eyebrow at him questioningly while giggling at Seth being, well.....Seth. He just waved me off, grabbed a bottle of water, and made his way back down the hall to the bedroom. I heard the door shut and the water from the shower turn on so I figured he was coming in to tell me he was going to take a shower and go to bed.

Edward had a nightly routine of showering, then reading for an hour or so. I figured I had a while before he would be truly ready for bed. Lately his reading material consisted of nothing but things pertaining to the case or the ranch. And though I appreciated his dedication, I just wanted to be _us_ when we were at home. I needed.....I don't know what I needed, but I wanted for a few moments to think about something besides what our next step was going to be in the case, or how we could streamline the breeding process next season. I didn't want to talk about which horse needed an extra light session or what was said in the papers that particular day. I wanted to come home with my boyfriend and just......talk. Not about work, not about the case, just.....talk or not talk. It didn't matter which we did, I just needed a break from everything else.

I wanted to be Bella and Edward, the couple who had just taken a huge step by moving in with one another. I did not want to be Bella, the trainer/ranch owner, and Dr. Edward Cullen, DVM.

It was exhausting and incredibly frustrating. I was well aware we needed to have a talk about how I felt, but I was having a really hard time verbalizing what I needed to say. Honestly I was a little pissed because the one thing I told Edward when he took the job was to leave work at work. This was my sanctuary, my escape if you will, from the stresses of running and growing our business. Though I realized Edward had valid points he wanted to discuss and they needed to be taken care of, the ten plus hours we spent at the barn everyday provided more than enough time for those things.

"Hey, Bella, you still there?" I realized that I had drifted out of the conversation with Seth when I heard him calling to me.

"Huh...Oh, God, Seth, I'm so sorry. I kinda zoned out there for a minute. What were you saying?" I felt really bad I hadn't been listening to much of what he had to say after Edward walked out of the room. I couldn't help but let it bother me a little that Edward was obviously upset when he realized it was Seth on the phone.

"Ah, it's alright, beautiful. I was just trying to tell you about this girl I met. But ya know, if my best friend doesn't want to hear about it, that's alright. No, no, don't mind me. It's perfectly alright." Seth really could be a smartass at times, but that was one of the things I loved about him. He really was a lot of fun to be around, even when he was giving me a hard time.

"Oh My God! Seth, are you serious?! What's her name? Where'd you meet her? Holy....When are you bringing her home?" I was so excited that I couldn't stop the questions as I battered him with one after the other about his new love and he just laughed, telling me to slow down so he could answer all of them.

The next thirty minutes were filled with Seth's description of his girl, explaining they met during one of the studio sessions. Her name was Angela and she was a back up singer that the producers brought in for one of their newer songs. He sounded so happy when he talked about her and I couldn't be happier for him. Angela lived in Nashville and he had been staying with her the last few weeks, which surprised me. Seth wasn't the type to just jump in with both feet like that, so this must be some special girl.

"So.....are you coming home? When do I get to meet her?" I asked, a bit apprehensive as the realization hit that Seth might be telling me he wasn't coming home at all. I mean, it would make sense if he had technically moved in with this Angela and she lived in Nashville. I couldn't blame him if he stayed there.

"Well...." Seth paused.

"You're not coming home, are you?" Even though I was happy for him, I couldn't help that my heart broke a little with the thought he wasn't going to come home.

"No, no, we're coming home; it just won't be for a while yet. We're wrapping the recordings this week, but there's so much other stuff that still has to be done.....so probably sometime mid-September?"

"Oh, well that's not that bad. I was afraid you were about to tell me you were moving to Nashville permanently." I laughed a little nervously and there was a pregnant pause that stopped me mid giggle. "Seth?"

"Um.....I am coming home in September, beautiful, but...."

"I....oh, you're coming back before moving out there, huh?" I couldn't help the sadness that crept into my voice.

I was being selfish and I knew it, but I couldn't help it either. I was happy for Seth, he obviously cared a great deal for this girl, but at the same time everything had changed so much recently. I wanted to cling to my friend, to the distraction he brought from all the crazy floating around me, the way he made me laugh at Tyler's stupidity and the sheer idiocy of Tanya's plan to ruin us. It helped to laugh about the circumstances, although they were far from funny, but the intensity surrounding us lately was beginning to choke me. Seth gave me a break from all that. The one I needed Edward to understand I wanted to find with him, but didn't know how to go about telling him.

"Yeah, but hey, you know that doesn't mean anything for us, right? You're still my girl, beautiful. Because, Oh My Gawd, you know you're like my best friend, ever," the silliness of Seth's deep voice as he mimicked a valley girl made me laugh until tears were in my eyes.

"You are nuts. Have I told you that lately?" I was gasping between giggles.

"There's my girl. Okay, much as I hate to, I gotta go. But I'll talk to you in a few days, k?"

"Ok, talk to ya then. And Seth...congratulations. I'm really, really happy for you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know, Bella. And you know I'm happy things are working out for you and Edward, too. Things will get better. Keep your chin up. Love you."

We said our goodbyes and I smiled when I hung up the phone. Seth was happy and he was absolutely right. Things would get better. We just had to get through the trial and things would get back to normal. Straightening the living room and turning out the lights, I walked down the hall toward the bedroom.

I knew Edward would probably be in bed reading by now as I had heard the shower turn off a while ago. Opening the bedroom door to find Edward exactly where I expected him to be brought a smile to my face as I raked my eyes over his naked torso and the still damp hair that fell over his forehead. I stood for a moment in the doorway, letting the images of what was just under that sheet tucked around his waist run through my mind. My heart stuttered at the sight of Edward in _our_ bed, and I thought about how happy I was we had made the decision to move in together. Even with everything else that was out of control right now, his moving in was one of the right things in my life.

As I entered the room, I opened my mouth to tell Edward about Seth's big news, until I saw the scowl that still sat upon his face. He didn't look up from the papers on his lap, or acknowledge my presence at all for that matter. Taking a deep breath, I stood for another moment waiting. Edward's eyes darted in my direction but he didn't look _at me_. I sighed, shaking my head before making my way to the bathroom to run through my nightly routine. I stood in the bathroom chastising myself for not saying something. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes as I tried to get some control over my emotions. The tension in my body made me feel heavy and completely fatigued. Slipping into a pair of cotton sleep pants and a tank top, I brushed through my hair which was little more than a tangle of curls before I pulled it all into a low ponytail and headed back out to the bedroom to an obviously pissed off Edward. I really didn't want to get in an argument tonight, and discussing whatever he was upset about now, which I felt more than sure was Seth, would most certainly lead to an argument.

So I crawled into bed, trying my best to not let the emotions overtake me. Edward still hadn't spoken to me or acknowledged me in any way other than his eyes flicking in my direction again as I came out of the bathroom. I yawned loudly, hoping to get some response, before saying in my most cheerful voice, "God, I'm so tired. Night baby."

When I leaned over to kiss him, he stiffened under my touch. The tears stung behind my lids as I closed my eyes before they could fall and alert him to how much I was hurt by his actions.

Was he really that insecure in our relationship? I mean, for God's sake the man was sleeping in _my_ bed. _We _had moved in together. Not Seth and I. There was nothing to be jealous about. I rolled over to face the wall and prayed that sleep would come quickly.

I woke early the next morning to the buzzing of my alarm, after a fitful night of half sleep. I planned to get to the ranch and run through a short session with Raven and Tig before our meeting with the lawyer. I had been so tied up with this whole Tanya fiasco that I wasn't doing as many training sessions as the boys needed and I had to make sure that I kept them in performance condition. The Volturi were paying big bucks for Raven as well as for the continuation of his training, so I couldn't let one of the things bringing positive notoriety to the ranch fall to the wayside.

I slipped out of bed to get dressed, trying not to wake Edward. Dressing quickly, I grabbed my bag with a change of clothes for our meeting before walking out to the kitchen. I poured my standard cup of coffee and dropped my bag by the door. I walked back to the bedroom to tell Edward goodbye before leaving. He was still sleeping soundly, splayed across the bed on his stomach with his arm curled around my pillow. Crossing the room, I lightly ran my fingers through his messy hair and smiled when he sighed and snuggled deeper into my pillow. The stress lines that etched his face much of the time lately were gone. In sleep he looked so peaceful, and my heart clenched at the memory of how I left things unsaid the night before.

We needed to talk, but it could wait until after our meeting today. No need in waking him now when he could sleep a couple more hours. Bending to place a gentle kiss to his temple, I whispered 'I love you' in his ear, and even in his sleep the corner of his mouth turned up in a grin.

~*~

I was scanning the spreadsheet containing this quarter's financial statement making sure everything was in order before emailing a copy to the CPA and Jason Scott. Even though the quarter wasn't up for several weeks, with the trial looming we had to make sure that everything was completely up to date. The civil suit that the lawyer's team was working on needed those copies before our meeting today, which was another reason I came in early. Emmett already approved them but wanted me to double check everything before we sent in the final copy. I sat back in my chair, rubbing the fatigue from my eyes before releasing a deep sigh of exhaustion as I heard a knock before the office door opened and I heard footsteps bringing the person closer to my desk. Assuming it was Laurent, I didn't open my eyes until I heard the voice. I froze in place. Slowly lowering my hands from my face, I opened my eyes to see the tall form of my ex-husband standing in front of my desk.

"Hey, Bella." Tyler's voice was soft, but the strain was evident.

"Tyler? What.....what are you doing here?" I leaned forward, folding my arms on top of my desk with what I'm sure was a completely confused look on my face. Tyler removed his hat, holding it in front of him with both hands, his eyes downcast. I knew that face and at one time it would have melted my heart, but now....I felt nothing at all.

"I....I, Bella, I just wanted to talk to you, face to face," he stammered.

"Why, Tyler? There's really nothing for us to say to one another. It's all been said and you've made your statement in the press. I can't really see what you could possibly need to say to me face to face." He met my eyes with a pleading expression.

"I needed to tell you how sorry I am for....shit, well for everything. I....I meant what was said in that statement, Bella. And I.....I really am sorry for what Tanya's done. I didn't know that she was up to all that. Bella, you.....I'm sorry for what happened between us, for what I did. You didn't deserve all of that, and I was a complete fool. I just needed you to know that."

In my heart of hearts, I knew that Tyler was not a bad person, and on some level I believed him. Yes, he was an ass. Yes, he had carried on an affair for the whole of our marriage and left me to sort through all my issues alone when I lost _our _baby. Tyler made some really horrible decisions and pulled away emotionally when I needed him most, but there were good moments in our time together as well. And I knew that the only way to ever completely have him out of my life was to let go of all the hurt. To forgive him for being an idiot. I held onto the anger for what happened between us, but a lot of the blame for the things wrong in our marriage rested in my lap. Tyler never had a chance, really. I realized it when Edward and I began 'trying'. There was no way Tyler could have ever been what I needed, no matter what he did. He wasn't Edward and that was all there was to it. The fact that I agreed to marry Tyler in the first place, knowing in my heart that I would only ever truly love Edward, was all on me. I owned that mistake and it was time to let go of the others, starting with forgiving Tyler.

"I appreciate that, Tyler. Really, I do. Thank you for wanting to tell me that in person. I just want to put all this behind me. Once Tanya's trial is over, I hope you can move on, too. I'm happy now and I don't want to have all the things that happened between you and I hanging over my head anymore, okay? I've let it go, Tyler; it's time for you to let it all go, too." I stood from my chair and circled around the desk. Tyler turned toward me and I looked up into his eyes. I thought I heard someone call to me and looked toward the door as I made it clear to Tyler there was nothing more we needed to say to one another before asking him to leave.

Tyler stepped forward, closing the space between us, invading my space and towering over me. He always thought that the difference in our height intimidated me...it didn't. Tyler continued his pleas. I reiterated what I already told him, but started to become aggravated with him. I could swear I heard Edward's voice and made to move around Tyler. He leaned his body in front of me, stopping me from walking away, and placed his hands on my shoulders. I recoiled from his touch and heard a wild growl coming from the doorway. The next several minutes were nothing more than a blur. I realized the growl I heard came from Edward, and the next thing I knew he and Tyler were falling out the office door into the barn. By the time I ran out the door behind them, screaming for them to stop and for Emmett and Laurent to come break them up, Edward was on top of Tyler. I honestly thought he was going to kill him. I had never seen Edward like this; he was completely out of control. Emmett finally got his arms around him and pulled him backward down the aisle way as Laurent bent to help Tyler off the ground. Tyler's nose was most definitely broken, his lip was split, and he spit blood on the ground. Tyler's shirt was untucked and one sleeve was torn at the shoulder. His eyes flashed to mine and he shook his head, I could already see a bruise forming over his jaw as well as an obvious black eye.

Edward was still screaming at Tyler and fighting against Emmett's hold.

Tyler snorted, "I hope you're happy with him, Bella. He's fucking nuts."

"Laurent, can you make sure Tyler gets in his truck? He was just leaving." I narrowed my eyes, choosing to ignore Tyler's jab. It wasn't worth the effort.

"Yes, ma'am," Laurent called as I turned my attention to the still enraged Edward.

The fact that Edward had a temper was no secret, but watching him completely flip his fucking lid had me shaking from head to toe. In all the years we had known one another, I had never witnessed him lose it like that. When our eyes met, Edward stopped fighting and looked at me as I watched the cloud of fury begin to clear. I couldn't find any words to describe the emotions running through me as I led Edward to the office. I was angry, scared, shocked. You name it, I was feeling it at that moment. Trying to get my thoughts together as I cleaned Edward's face, I was slightly disoriented from it all. I asked if he was okay and told him I loved him. We needed to talk about his reaction and everything that was left unsaid between us from the night before, but of course our conversation was cut short by an unexpected and very much unwelcome visitor.

A reporter, Travis Erwin, from the San Antonio Gazette decided to pay a visit for yet another attempt at getting an exclusive interview. This guy was one of the more persistent in his pursuit of getting any tidbit of information that had not already been reported. He was one of the main reasons Edward spoke with our lawyer about the harassment suit. Following Laurent out of the barn, I felt the knot in my stomach twist. This day was just getting better and better.

"Come on, Mr. Swan, I just want one interview with you guys. Don't you want your side of the story told?" Mr. Erwin's voice wafted to us from where I could see he and Emmett standing just outside the barn.

"Look, we've had this discussion with you several times. Everything that we need to say has been said by our lawyer. Now, I would appreciate it if you would get back in your car and leave my property." Emmett was all business, but I could see how hard it was for my easy going brother to rein himself in. The tension was getting to him, too. It was painfully obvious he hadn't calmed down anymore than I had from earlier. This guy could not have picked a worse day to come by; well, I guess for him had he shown up a little earlier, it would have been the perfect day. He could have gotten an exclusive on my ex-husband and current boyfriend, who also happens to be the veterinarian for the ranch, beating each other to a pulp. Those pictures would have made a lovely spread, I'm sure. I felt my stomach twist again at the very likelihood of that having happened and how bad the repercussions of that would have been. Just the thought of dealing with that had my blood boiling at the stupidity of the whole situation.

Erwin caught sight of me at that moment and his eyes lit up with excitement.

"Ms. Swan, what a pleasant surprise. I was just speaking with your brother and hoping to get a few minutes of your time. I would really like to get your take on the trial coming up next week. I'm sure there are things that you would like to say to my readers. You know, telling your side of how Ms. Denali tried to ruin you, stealing your husband, among other things." He smiled and the look in his eyes made my stomach flip as I saw his wheels turning, reasoning out how he could get me to make an inadvertent statement.

"I'm sorry you made the trip out here for nothing, Mr. Erwin. I believe my brother has already asked you to leave, so unless you would like for the police to be involved, I would suggest you follow his instructions." I smiled my most genuine smile at the skeevy reporter.

"Oh come now, Ms. Swan, surely you have something to say. Wasn't that Mr. Crowley I saw leaving here as I pulled up? Why was he here, Ms. Swan? Are you two reconciling now that Ms. Denali is going to be out of the way?"

I was taken aback by that question and was speechless as he continued to throw ridiculous accusations and questions at me.

"What about Dr. Anderson? I understand he's no longer the veterinarian on the payroll, so if you and Mr. Crowley are reconciling, where does that leave Dr. Cullen in the whole of things? Will he continue to be employed here if you're no longer romantically involved?"

"Okay buddy, that's more than enough! I told you to leave and that's exactly what I suggest you do while you can still get in your car. Don't make me ask you again." Emmett was seething as he advanced on the reporter.

"Ms. Swan, what do you have to say to the fact that Ms. Denali insists that you and Mr. Crowley have carried on a relationship even after your divorce and while he was clearly in a relationship with Ms. Denali?" The reporter continued while backing toward his car and away from an advancing Emmett, but he wasn't moving fast enough for my brother as Emmett grabbed him by the arm and not so gently escorted him the rest of the way to his car.

"I told you that was enough! Now I'm gonna tell you this in no uncertain terms. If you ever, and I mean ever, step so much as a toe on my property again, I will have you arrested. And so help me God, I will bury you under the law suit that follows for harassment. Do I make myself clear?" The wide eyed Mr. Erwin finally seemed to get the picture as my bear of a brother opened the door to his car and shoved him toward it.

I knew Tanya was claiming some crazy shit, but I had stopped reading any of the articles about the case. I was floored that she would make such a claim as I was having an affair with _my_ ex-husband. Seriously? I couldn't even wrap my head around the crazy that is Tanya at that moment.

"Em, I.....holy....I don't even know what to say about..." My mind was a complete jumble of thoughts as I looked up at Emmett as he walked back to where I stood with Laurent, watching the reporter's car speed down the driveway.

Emmett didn't say a word, he just reached out to pull me into him, wrapping his arms around me in a bear hug. There were times my brother just knew exactly what I needed and at that very moment I needed him to do just what he did.

"Emmett, what if that guy had come up a few minutes sooner? Could you imagine what that would have been like? Oh my God, Em....this is such a mess." I buried my head in his mammoth chest and sighed.

"I know, baby girl, but he didn't so....you need to go back in there and check on Edward. I don't really think I've ever seen him that mad. What the hell did Tyler say that set him off like that?" Emmett pulled back, holding me at arms length and running one of his big hands over my hair soothingly.

"He....he didn't say anything to Edward. Tyler was talking to me about.....Ugh! Em, he wanted to apologize to my face. For not knowing what Tanya was up to....for the...just everything. He wasn't here that long before....." I waved my hand above my head, still having difficulty forming words for the events of the day so far.

"Yeah, I know Tyler wasn't here long because Rose saw his truck parked out in front of the barn, so I was already on my way down to check things out when I saw Edward come in and I got delayed with a phone call." Emmett took my arm, leading me back toward the barn.

"I just want all of this to be over," I sighed in defeat. "I forgave him, Em." I looked up into his blue eyes and he quirked an eyebrow.

"I know, I know, but really I'm just done. I'm done with Tyler and Tanya and the whole damn thing. I just want it to be over with, and the only way I can truly be done with it is to let it go, so I am."

Emmett smiled then and pressed a kiss to my forehead, "I know and it will be. It's good that you're letting go. I know it's been really hard on you reliving so much of what happened between you and Tyler. Ya know," he paused with an evil glint in his eye, "you're pretty smart for a girl."

He laughed and jumped away from me as I punched him in the chest.

"Go on, baby girl, you know your man in there is probably beating himself up for what happened, not that he should, but we all know how he is. And we still have the meeting with JJ, so ya'll need to be ready to leave in about an hour, alright?" Emmett smiled and winked before turning to walk back to the house.

When I entered the office, Edward was lying on the couch with his eyes closed. I quietly crossed the room; kneeling down beside the sofa, I lightly brushed my fingers over the bruise on his cheek. He slowly opened his eyes and I saw that Emmett was exactly right. Edward was beating himself up for what had happened. I also saw the anger still burning there in his eyes. I knew he felt he was protecting me, especially after what happened the last time Tyler and I encountered one another. I wanted him to understand I wasn't upset with him, I was just completely frustrated with the whole situation. I moved to sit at my desk, completely overwhelmed and unable to really verbalize how I felt at that moment. I wasn't sure if I could get the words out to explain how close we came to a real PR mess, or to try to explain that I understood his dislike of Tyler.

I was caught completely off guard when Edward's hands slammed on my desk and he began accusing me of being naïve about Tyler's intentions, claiming that I was being blind to the fact that the reporter showing up at the same time as Tyler's appearance was just too coincidental. My eyes widened at the anger, so very similar to what I saw earlier from Edward, and the fact that it was now directed at me, not Tyler. At first I was shocked and for a split second a little frightened. Then it just pissed me off.

How dare he accuse me of being naïve about something he had yet to even give me an opportunity to explain? He wasn't privy to my conversation with Tyler, nor did he have any idea what the reporter had said or even who it was. So how the hell could he automatically assume that I was being a stupid naïve girl in not realizing that it was, in his opinion, Tyler whom had set that up? Edward was assuming that I was completely ignoring the fact that both Tyler and the reporter showed up within a short period of time of one another were clear signs he had planned the whole interaction. In all honesty, it could very well have been Tyler who set that up, but there was really no way of knowing. And at the moment with Edward in my face, I really didn't give a damn. He had no right to speak to me that way.

I fought with the tears that threatened to fall and my breath caught with the realization that Edward was serious. He truly felt I was nothing more than a naïve little girl and honestly thought I had let Tyler pull the wool over my eyes yet again.

I had to get away from him. I couldn't look at him for another second because after everything we had been through, the fact that Edward could think so little of me tore a hole in my chest. I couldn't hold back the tears any longer as I slammed the door of the office and the tears fell down my cheeks. I made my way to Maverick's stall, hoping to find the peace I found there with him. I groaned as I thought about the fact we had to meet with JJ Scott in a little while and we would have to explain the bruises on Edward's face to our lawyer. JJ Scott was an old family friend and, if I was being honest, I doubted he would be surprised by the reasons behind the obvious evidence that Edward had been in a fight, but all the same it would have to be explained.

I knew without acknowledging him when Edward found me. There was no way around talking to him now, but I really didn't want to be anywhere near him at the moment. Ignoring the fact that the pull I felt toward Edward was there even when I was incredibly upset with him, I continued to run my hands over Maverick's neck. When it was obvious Edward wasn't going to speak, I asked him what he wanted without turning to look at him.

The sound of his voice broke my heart. I needed him to understand my realization that the only way I would ever heal completely was to let go of the anger toward Tyler, the pain of what the last year of my life had brought me, and in all honesty the hurt I still felt from the years he and I lost. Edward needed to understand that I wasn't being naïve, I was just letting go of the things that I couldn't control and accepting that there were some things that were not worth my time any longer, and Tyler was the biggest of those. Edward needed to trust me and I wanted to make it clear to him that I needed him to stand _with _me. Somehow I was able to voice all those thoughts to him.

When Edward picked me up and kissed me, the little giggle that escaped me was one of relief that he seemed to understand, of hope that we would be able to move past this and be stronger.

"Okay," he whispered against my lips. "I love you, Bella."

I pulled back, placing my hands on his chest and looked up into his eyes.

"I know you do, Edward. And I love you, more than I can explain, even when you're a crazy person." I winked at him and he snorted, shaking his head at my attempt to make light of the situation. "Don't you ever think anything different, you hear me? There's a lot we still need to talk about, but," I wrapped a hand around his wrist, lifting it to look at his watch, "right now we have an appointment to get to and I have no doubts Charlie and Em are pacing around the kitchen as we speak, and I need to change really quick." I smiled, standing on tiptoe to kiss his lips once more before removing myself from his arms to take his hand and make our way to the house. "Come on, my bag's in my car."

Forty-five minutes later, we were being led into a large conference room of the Jason Scott, Esq., law offices. Jason Scott was a few years older than Emmett and Edward. His father, Jason Scott, Sr., began this firm when Jason was just a kid. Jason, Sr. had met both Charlie and Carlisle soon after moving here from New York and quickly earned their trust as well as their business. Mr. and Mrs. Scott became very close family friends over the next several years, and so did their son. When the senior Jason Scott passed away a few years ago, Jason Scott, Jr., stepped up and took over. It was difficult at times to keep up the professional pretense when the guy had eaten at my family's dinner table more times than I could count, so I continually reminded myself to call him Mr. Scott and not JJ while in the presence of others from his office. Honestly, JJ really wouldn't care, but it's like calling a doctor by his first name while he's on duty in front of patients, it's just disrespectful of his professional position.

JJ practiced general law, so this allowed him to represent our families in the criminal part of the prosecution of Tanya and Victoria, but also handle the civil side of our case as well. JJ didn't do divorce law, so he wasn't personally involved with the handling of my divorce from Tyler, but as a friend he gave me a great deal of useful advice. Between him and his partner, Carter , Tyler was unable to get any part of the home we had shared. I never knew how they did it, but Tyler walked away with basically little more than what he came into the marriage with. I didn't want anything from him, at the time I was so angry that I would have paid him to get out and sign the papers as soon as possible.

"You can all just make yourselves comfortable. Mr. Scott should be with you in just a moment. Can I get any of you some coffee or maybe bottled water?" Dianna, JJ's receptionist, was a nice girl. She had only been at the firm for a few months so she tried extra hard to make an impression. We all thanked her and declined as we took our seats around the large mahogany table. Charlie and Emmett sat across from Edward and I; we talked amongst ourselves about nothing in particular while we waited for JJ to join us. Suddenly I felt Edward's hand on my knee and saw him from the corner of my eye leaning toward me. Covering his hand with my own, I laced our fingers together. I looked up to meet his eyes; he wore a very serious expression and his brow was furrowed as if he was concentrating on something very hard.

"What's wrong?" I whispered, leaning toward him. Edward placed an arm on the table and turned his body toward me, tilting his head where he could speak into my ear.

"I just want you to know how sorry I am for speaking to you the way I did this morning. I'm so very sorry."

I released a small sigh, "Edward, don't, I told you to please stop apologizing. I accepted your apology earlier. We'll talk about that when we get home, okay?" I cupped his face with my free hand, rubbing my thumb over the slight roughness of his cheek from the beginnings of his five o'clock shadow.

Edward pressed his forehead to mine and nodded slightly just as JJ entered the room, followed by his paralegal, Sarah. She and I had graduated high school together. Although we didn't really run in the same circles, we knew each other and she was a nice girl.

"Good afternoon, everyone," Jason's deep timbre filled the room. He had a very commanding voice; even in a friendly greeting he got your attention immediately, and it made it easy to understand why he was a very successful lawyer. I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of his cross examination.

JJ made his way around the room, shaking everyone's hand. When he reached Edward, he quirked an eyebrow and smirked but for the moment he left it alone. Moving on to me, he gently took my hand and kissed my cheek. He was in many ways like another big brother and he understood how difficult losing Lacy had been on me.

Sarah took her seat and JJ began explaining exactly how the trial would proceed the following week, what we were to say to the press, and briefing Edward on the finer points of his testimony. Edward was subpoenaed as a witness and would be giving his professional opinion on what effects the particular kind of poison used would have on an unborn foal and how this was the cause of the stillborn and aborted foals we had the past season.

In effect, the prosecution was trying to show that not only had Tanya caused Lacy's death, and the near death of the Cullen's mare, but also the deaths of the foals we lost. The mares who survived had some liver damage, but luckily they would eventually be healthy and hopefully have no lasting effects. Edward would be meeting with the prosecution, but JJ wanted to make sure he was ready and if there were any questions that any of us needed answered he did that before we got to trial next week.

JJ explained that all in all, the proceedings should go off without a hitch and the case was pretty air tight, especially with Edward's testimony. Even though Edward had a personal investment in the outcome of the trial, the fact that he had been a part of both cases from the get go was more than enough reason for the prosecution to use his expertise. Edward's research had been in reproduction and genetics at UGA, so he was exactly what they needed for following through with the charges on the foals we lost along with the other charges.

JJ took a deep breath before looking Edward square in the eye.

"So, Edward, you want to explain what happened to your face, or am I going to be getting a call from Tyler's lawyer about charges against you?" Again, JJ smirked but held Edward's eyes.

Edward stiffened, "How the hell do you know that anything happened with Tyler?"

JJ snorted, which after the professional persona he had been carrying off for the last hour and a half, was quite funny. He leaned back in his chair and laced his hands behind his head. He never broke his eye contact with Edward.

"Because A). I can only imagine how much you've wanted to get your hands on that son of a bitch, and B). I guessed." JJ's smirk grew and Emmett's laugh filled the room as I slapped a hand over my mouth, trying to cover my own snickering. Charlie dropped his head, shaking it, but I could see the smile that was on his face as well.

Edward was slackjawed for a moment before he started smiling himself.

"Very funny, JJ." Edward replied dryly.

"Well hell, Edward, am I right then? And if I am, I hope he looks worse than you do. But that's off the record, of course." JJ smirked and winked at me. "So? Somebody want to explain the details? That way I can be prepared if something comes of it. Which, in all honesty, unless he's in the hospital I doubt it will. Tyler isn't the type to broadcast getting his ass handed to him, which I'm assuming, again, that you did."

"Yeah, JJ, don't think I've ever seen Edward that wound up." Emmett piped up as he continued to laugh, shaking his head. Edward glared at Emmett before I placed a hand on his thigh to get his attention and smiled at him. I wasn't happy about the events of the morning, but I wanted to reassure Edward I was on his side regardless.

"So, Edward, what happened?" JJ sat up in his chair, folding his hands on the table and leaning forward, waiting for Edward to explain the events of what happened between him and Tyler.

Edward shifted in his seat uncomfortably and took a deep breath, blowing it out completely before launching into the quick version of how he had walked in the office looking for me, saw Tyler put his hands on me and just reacted.

When he finished, he dropped his eyes to the table before mumbling, "I....ah, hell, JJ, I wasn't really thinking, there's really nothing else to say about it. Do you think he'll press charges? That's all we need right now, that publicity would be..." Edward's voice trailed off as he turned to look at me with an apology in his eyes and I reached for his hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Well, I can't really say, Edward. We'll just have to wait and see, but I'll go ahead and have a statement prepared just in case. I wouldn't worry about it too much, let's just let it lie and see what happens."

Emmett cleared his throat then and looked from Charlie to me and then met Edward's eyes before telling JJ about the visit we had from the San Antonio Gazette reporter. I saw Edward stiffen, his hands balling into fists as he listened to Emmett describe the questions that were thrown at me by Mr. Erwin. I knew on one hand he felt bad that we had fought just after my interaction with the reporter, and on the other he was pissed that Mr. Erwin made the ludicrous accusations in the first place. JJ explained that he would have some of the junior associates do some research to find out if anything further could be done, but it would be difficult to not overstep into infringement upon first amendment rights by the newspapers and reporters.

We said our goodbyes and JJ escorted us out to the lobby before we parted ways. JJ clapped Edward on the shoulder as he turned to leave and assured him of his confidence nothing would come from his altercation with Tyler. I could see Edward's shoulders relax a bit more at this and I took his hand, lacing our fingers together and smiling up at him as we made our way out to Em's truck.

~*~

"Hey, Edward, would you mind setting the table?" I called as I removed the chicken from the pan.

Edward was catching up on the sports report on ESPN in the family room as I prepared dinner. Seriously, what is it with men and their sports?

"Sure, baby," Edward answered as I heard him come into the room. "Mmmm, something smells really good. What is that?"

I looked up to see him crossing the room toward where I stood at the stove. He wrapped his arms around my middle, kissing my cheek before he placed his chin on my shoulder.

"It's a new recipe I found in a Paula Deen cookbook. It's kind of like chicken cordon bleu, but easier." I smiled, turning my head to kiss his cheek, and he tightened his arms around me then released me to grab a couple of plates and glasses from the cupboard.

I finished up the rest of our dinner while Edward set the breakfast table, which we used much more often that the dining room. Really the whole dining room thing was a waste of space most of the time, but the furniture had been my great grandmother Swan's. And since I was the only girl to have been born in the family for the last couple generations, I was designated to receive it when I had my own place.

We ate in a relatively comfortable silence outside of Edward's moans whenever he took a bite of the chicken.

"That was really good, baby. Thank you." Edward reached across the table to take my hand in his before bringing it to his lips to place a kiss to my wrist.

"You're welcome, Edward. I really enjoy cooking even though I haven't really done a lot of it since Ty-" I stopped myself and my eyes shot to Edward's.

We had tiptoed around discussing the argument ever since we got home from our meeting earlier, and it looked like I had just inadvertently opened the door.

"Bella, I-"

"Edward,"

We laughed as we both started at the same time.

"You go first," Edward offered.

"You sure?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, darlin', I'm sure, but can we take this in the other room?" Edward stood and pulled me from my chair, leading me into the family room. He grabbed the remote and turned off the TV before we both settled on the sofa. I leaned back against the arm with one leg folded under me while the other was stretched out hanging off the couch. Edward mimicked my position at the other end; I ran my foot up the side of Edward's calf under his pant leg and he smirked at me.

"Now, Bella, while I'm not opposed at all, if you continue that it's going to lead to nothing except me throwing you over my shoulder and carrying you into the bedroom. So if we're going to talk you might want to keep your cute little feet to yourself. Otherwise..." his voice trailed off suggestively.

I giggled at how very serious I could tell he was and pulled my foot back toward my side of the sofa.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment, trying to prepare myself to have the discussion about not only what happened today, but all the things that I had left unsaid over the last couple weeks. Most of all I wanted to make sure I made it very clear that I was happy we had made the decision to move in together, but there were just things that we needed to work out. I realized that it was an adjustment for both of us and in many ways much more so for Edward. At least I had some experience with living with someone other than my parents or brother. Edward had always lived on his own. So he had nothing to draw from except having a roommate the first year of college and that had been Demetri. They became best friends, but couldn't stand living with one another.

Opening my eyes, I smiled at Edward. He of course broke out that damned crooked grin that seriously scrambles my brain.

"Okay, first, don't do that," I pointed at him with a scowl on my face. .

"What?" he laughed, feigning innocence.

"You know damned well, 'what'. That..." I waved my hand at his face, "that grin. You can not use that during this discussion because I can't think straight when you do that." I continued to stare at him. "I'm serious!"

"Duly noted, no grinning. Carry on," he made a gesture, rolling his hand for me to go on while continuing to grin, and then he winked.

UGH! He really was infuriating at times, but too damned cute for his own good.

"First, I want to tell you how happy I am that we made this decision. I'm really glad that you're living here." I paused, trying to put the right words together.

"I hear a 'but' in there…"

"It's just that....well, okay, remember when you told me about Emmett offering you the job?" I looked up from my lap to meet his eyes and he nodded.

"Well, do you remember what I said would be our only problem I could foresee?"

Edward shifted his position and cleared his throat, "Uh...yeah, you said something about leaving the ranch at the ranch. That otherwise everything would be alright."

"Right. Edward, there hasn't been one night since we got back from Vegas that you haven't been elbow deep in something regarding the ranch or the trial. And please don't get me wrong, I'm so happy that you take the job so seriously, but I can't do that. I feel like I'm suffocating under it, Edward. I need a break when I get home. When we come home, I just want to be us. Just you and me, Edward and Bella, nothing else. Does that make sense?" I asked, my voice little more than a whisper. I dropped my eyes back to my lap where I nervously picked at my nails.

I felt the sofa cushions shift and looked up to see Edward had moved to sit right next to me. He reached out, pulling me to straddle his lap, before threading his long fingers into my hair, tilting my face so I had to meet his eyes. I wrapped my arms loosely around his neck and played with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Bella," he whispered. "That makes perfect sense. I get really wrapped up in my work and I don't think about the fact that not everyone eats, sleeps, and breathes it like I do. Immersing myself in all of that stuff is just a habit I got into when I was at UGA. There wasn't really anything else that occupied my time, for the most part, so it was easy to just spend hours on end at night reading anything I could get my hands on regarding our research. Baby, I'm sorry if I've made you feel like you couldn't breathe. This is all a new experience and I'm just feeling my way as I go. You have to tell me this stuff; we can't fix it if we don't talk about it, right?" I leaned my forehead against his before pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

"Right." I took a deep breath, closing my eyes before I tackled the next item on the agenda. "Okay, well on that note, can we talk about one more thing?" I opened my eyes to meet Edward's gaze evenly.

"Of course, baby." Edward pressed a kiss to my forehead before I sat back slightly, keeping my hands threaded through the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Can you tell me why you reacted the way you did last night when I got the phone call from Seth?" My voice was barely a whisper by the time I reached the end of the question. "Have I made you feel that you care more for me than I do for you? I'm sorry. I just don't understand why it seems that you're threatened by Seth." My heart was pounding in my chest with the anticipation of what his reaction would be to this subject.

Edward sucked in a breath through his nose and released it slowly. I met his gaze and saw his eyes darken with something very similar to the anger I saw earlier today before it was gone.

"Bella, I….I don't really know how to explain except by telling you it's an insane, irrational, and unjustified jealousy I feel toward Seth," Edward held up a hand to stop me as I began to protest. "I know what you're going to tell me, baby, I know you are just friends but I also know that at one time he did pursue you in romantically. I know it's just a testosterone filled reaction and I'm sorry. I'm very protective of you, Bella, and I can't explain it in any other way." Edward reached up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear, before curling his fingers around my neck, he caressed my jaw with his thumb. "The only way I know to explain it is by telling you that I know every day I am not worthy of you. At some point you're going to wake up, realize that, and you'll be gone again from my life. I'm sorry if I hurt you acting like such an ass recently. I can't tell you anything more than I'm sorry and I love you more than my own life." Edward slid his hands over my shoulders and down my back to rest them on my thighs as we both tried to absorb all that had been said.

"Thank you, Edward, for explaining." I leaned in to kiss each of his cheeks.

Edward apologized once again for raising his voice to me in the way he did, and not letting me explain fully what had occurred with the reporter. I reiterated my point from earlier that though I accepted the apology, that's not what I was looking for, we both needed to remember to talk about this stuff before it got to this point again.

We sat for a long moment just looking into each others eyes before I broke the silence.

"I love you, Edward, and I know I said this earlier but I am so happy that you are here. That we made this decision to move in together, that this is _our _house now, I hope you know that."

"Mmmm....that sounds so nice, baby, _our house,_" Edward whispered as he pressed his lips to mine in what started out as a slow gentle kiss, but quickly became something much more as his hands were sliding around my back to press me further into his body.

"Make love to me, Edward."

* * *

**Okay, so I want to say again how much you guys blow me away with your support of this story. All of you who have reviewed are just incredible and I appreciate each and every one of you, thank you for the comments and questions. I apologize for not getting out replies to all of you, I have no more excuse than the ones I've already given in previous chapters. But I want you to know I read them and appreciate them immensely. **

**Just FYI Chapter 25 is pretty much done and will be going to Jessica1971 shortly. MMB is winding down as many of you have mentioned in your reviews. There are about six more chapters plus the epilogue left of the story.**

**If you did not read it there is another outtake on the MMB outtakes. It is a piece that was done for the Fandom Gives Back auction winner Heatherdawn. The outtake gives a little insight into HS Edward and Bella, just before he leaves for college. So if you haven't checked it out, don't have me on author alert or the outtakes on alert it's there if you're interested. **


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing with the characters. **

**A/N: Serious bizness for just a minute....I have to thank Jessica1971 cause she's the bestest, really! I'm not kidding. She worked her magic on this chapter and here it is in all it's wordiness.... =)**

**I have to say you guys are more than awesome. Truly, the best readers ever. ****I have to tell you I was nervous about doing a he said/she said on the last two chapters and I'm glad that you seemed to enjoy getting the other side of the coin. One thing I feel I need to make clear is that Bella wasn't mad at Edward for kicking Tyler's ass because lets face it, Tyler deserved getting his ass handed to him. Bella was frustrated with the entire situation leading up to the point that Edward yelled at her not because Edward kicked Tyler's ass. Communication between these two is something that they are working on, any of you who are in long term committed relationship understand that we all make mistakes and have misunderstandings, it's just what happens. I guess my point is that neither Bella nor Edward is necessarily wrong or right in this they're just working through the mistakes they've made both past and present.**

**One more thing....if you don't want to read lemon's you might want to skip a large part of the following chapter...just sayin *ahem* cause there's a couple of scenes of the citrus variety coming up... So without further delay....  
**

* * *

Chapter 25

Things that matter....

EPOV

"Make love to me, Edward," Bella's breathy voice whispered and my mind went completely blank. My body, on the other hand, was very much alert and standing at attention. Obviously the blood flow needed for normal mental capacities had suddenly rushed to my nether regions and completely away from all functioning areas of my brain.

"Uh…" I stammered, looking up into her heavily hooded deep brown eyes.

_What the hell are you doing?! Bella is asking you to make love to her, stupid! Get moving._

I wrapped my arms around her body and stood straight off the sofa, taking her with me. Bella released a little yelp and giggled as she wove her arms tighter around my neck and locked her ankles behind my back before attaching her lips to my neck.

I made my way toward the hallway as quickly as possible, holding Bella's tiny body with one arm under her behind and the other around her waist.

"Ungh…God baby, I'm going to wind up taking you right here if you keep doing that," I ground out as I stumbled down the hall. It's really fucking difficult to walk when you're hard as a rock.

"And you think I would complain about that?" Bella purred and continued her assault as she drug her lips down to the curve of my shoulder and sucked on the skin there. My hand tightened on her ass and she ground herself into me. I could feel the heat radiating from her core, causing me to have an even more difficult time getting down the hall as my body responded to what it knew was just under her clothing.

I pushed Bella against the wall just outside our bedroom and she released a breathy moan. I couldn't wait another second to taste her skin, to feel her naked body against mine. I needed to be inside her, _now_.

Bella's hands slid down my chest and began unbuttoning my shirt. She nipped along my collarbone and then licked over the same area back to my neck. My cock twitched as she blew a breath of air over the now damp section of skin. I hissed as she scraped her nails lightly over my chest.

"Oh God, Bella……" I murmured against her lips and covered her mouth with my own. Sucking her bottom lip into my mouth, I grazed my teeth lightly over the luscious flesh and ran a hand under the hem of her shirt.

"Off," I grunted, pushing it up to her chest. Bella giggled as she crossed her arms, gathering the fabric and slipping it over her head, allowing her long chestnut tresses to fall slowly down her back.

My breath caught as I took in the sight of Bella's delectable breasts. She was wearing the same green satin and lace bra she wore our first night in Las Vegas.

"Mmmm….." Bella moaned as I began placing open mouth kisses down the column of her neck.

Darting my tongue out to taste the sweetness of her skin, I placed a kiss to the hollow of her throat before slowly moving down her chest. Pressing her body more fully into the wall, I ran a hand to her hip and brushed the back of my hand across her abdomen just above the waist of her jeans as I ghosted my lips over the swell of her breast.

My heart slammed against my ribs and my breathing picked up as I curled my fingers under the edge of her jeans, working them to release the button and then slide the zipper down. Bella wiggled her hips, making it easier to slide her jeans over them and off her body.

I wrapped my arms around her once again and pulled her into me as she curled her long legs around my waist. Her hands were in my hair once again and she pulled my face to hers to press our lips together in a fervent kiss. The feel of her breasts pressed against the exposed skin of my chest had me panting for air.

"Unnnn….God, Bella, you are so beautiful," I whispered as I broke our kiss and moved my lips back to her graceful neck.

I smirked at Bella's breathy whimper as I took her satin covered nipple between my teeth. Readjusting her weight in my arms, I pulled her away from the wall and kicked our bedroom door open.

I crossed the room as quickly as humanly possible. I needed to get her into bed before I spontaneously combusted and totally embarrassed myself by blowing my load right there in the hall. The images of taking Bella against the wall at our villa in Las Vegas were flashing through my mind, making it increasingly difficult to concentrate on the moment at hand.

Laying her on the bed, I knelt between her legs as she dropped them from my waist. I sat back on my heels to shrug out of my shirt before throwing it over my shoulder. The soft light from Bella's lamp illuminated the room, throwing soft shadows along the walls. I didn't understand Bella's fear of the dark, but right now I was thanking God for it because the faint bit of light in the room allowed me to take in the gorgeous woman lying beneath me. Her hair was fanned out over the pillow, her skin all roses and cream. Bella's chest moved up and down with the shallow panting of her breath. I don't believe she ever looked more beautiful than at this moment.

As my eyes hungrily roamed over her enticing body, I could plainly see her nipples pebbled and straining against the fabric of her bra, the dark circle of the satin evident where I took one in my mouth. My cock twitched in anticipation as Bella arched her back off the bed to unclasp her bra, slowly slipping the straps down her arms until she slid it from her body and tossing it onto the floor by the bed.

"Bella…." my voice was rough with the intensity of my desire. "God, baby, you are an incredible woman. Do you know that?"

I reached out to touch the delicate slope of her ankle with my fingertips. The soft smoothness of her skin took my breath away and sent a shock through my body as I wrapped my fingers around her calf to caress the taut muscle of her beautiful leg. Gently running my hand up to the backside of her knee, I pushed her leg up so as to spread her legs apart a bit more and leaned in to kiss the inside of her thigh.

I sat back to admire her once again. I began rubbing small circles with the pad of my middle finger on the soft skin just behind her knee. I knew this was an area that drove Bella insane and I wasn't disappointed when she looked at me. I watched as her eyes darkened beyond the liquid chocolate they normally were and she released a breathy moan.

I wanted to make this moment last, to take my time. Tonight I wanted to worship her body. Tonight I wanted to make it very clear how much I cherished her.

_My Bella._

I wanted to make her understand how much I loved her; how very much I meant it when I said I loved her more than my own life. And I wanted her to know that I respected her above all else.

The fight with Tyler was something of a different problem, and if anything came of it, it would fall on my shoulders to make it right.

But tonight.....tonight was about Bella and me. The only thing important right now was showing her how much she meant to me.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" I whispered as I ran my other hand over her opposite leg. I slowly began caressing the underside of both her thighs with my fingers while making circular motions with my thumbs on the inside of each thigh.

Bella's legs completely entranced me, almost as much as her eyes. They were long and feminine, but the strength of the muscle under the butter soft skin made my body hum with need. Bella met my gaze and I saw all the love and devotion I knew was in my eyes reflected in hers.

This woman completely took my breath away. Not just because she was the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on, but because of her ability to love, her ability to forgive those who hurt her and to simply survive the things life has thrown at her. All these things put me in awe of her strength on a daily basis.

"I know how much I love you, Edward, and it's more than I can ever explain to you."

I bent to place a kiss on the inside of her knee, grazing my nose over the exquisite skin of her inner thigh, over the top of her sex, and making my way to the other thigh. I placed an open mouthed kiss at the crease where her leg joined her body, gaining a moan from Bella, and her hips shifted against me.

I slid my hands up, relishing the feel of the skin of her legs, and wrapped my fingers around her tapered waist. I began rubbing small circles with my thumbs just above her hip bones. Bella twisted the sheet in her small hands as she squirmed under my ministrations.

"Ungh, Edward," Bella moaned and her hips bucked slightly into me as I nuzzled her still cotton covered sex, placing a kiss right over her clit. I smirked when I heard her sharp intake of breath.

I placed kisses over her lower abdomen and dipped my tongue into her belly button, eliciting another sexy moan. Bella ran a hand through my hair and my eyes closed of their own accord as the pleasure from her fingers massaging my scalp caused a shiver to flow through my body.

Hooking my thumbs behind the elastic of her panties, I worked them over her hips and off her body, throwing them into the abyss of our room. I pressed a kiss against her hip then nipped the bone only to drag my lips lightly, only barely touching the skin, across her abdomen, paying special attention to the area where her body was scarred.

Though Bella was comfortable being naked in front of me, I knew the scar on her belly was still an area of insecurity for her. To me it was a sign of her strength. To me it was a part of her body that deserved to be cherished.

"Edward," Bella sighed as my lips brushed over the white scar that stretched just above the hair line at her pubic bone.

"Baby, do you know what this scar means to me?" I looked up to see her staring at me, wide eyed and apprehensive, but curious.

"To me this scar," I bent to kiss the scar at its center, "tells me that you survived. That you lived through more than any woman should," a kiss to the left side of the scar. "It reminds me of just how strong you truly are and how lucky I am to have you still here with me," a kiss to the right side. "I love this scar because it's a reminder for me to cherish you and not take for granted what I have right here in front of me."

"Oh God, Edward.....that..." Bella's eye's filled with tears and she reached for me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and pulling me up to her.

"I love you, so much," she choked out.

"And I love you, Bella," I whispered against her lips before covering her mouth with mine. Brushing my tongue along her bottom lip, Bella opened to me and met my tongue with her own in a passionate kiss.

A low moan rumbled in my chest as I felt Bella's legs snake around my still jean clad thighs. Bella broke our kiss abruptly and looked at me with a quirked eyebrow.

"What?" I asked, suddenly nervous I had done something wrong.

"Why are you still dressed, man? Get naked!" Bella looked at me with a straight face, the tears still shining in her eyes before she started giggling. "Seriously!"

"Yes, ma'am," I laughed as I moved, flipping on my back to strip off my jeans and boxers.

I rolled to again cover her body with mine, settling between her legs and placing most of my weight on my forearms. I caressed her face with my fingertips and kissed her gently. There was nowhere on Earth I wanted to be more than in this woman's arms for the rest of my life. I knew I would make her my wife sometime in the near future. I only hoped that Bella's first experience did not have her set against trying marriage again with me.

Shifting my weight, I reached between our bodies to line myself up with her entrance and a guttural groan left me as my tip entered her.

"Ungh, Edward, please…..don't tease me," Bella whimpered as she raised her hips, trying to take me in.

I clicked my tongue and teasingly murmured, "So impatient," before thrusting my hips to fully sheath myself inside her.

_Oh God damn! She's so tight...._

"Bella, oh God...." I grunted and dropped my head to her shoulder as her warmth enveloped me and my mind was scrambled from being buried inside her.

I heard Bella moan and felt her hips move against me as my brain began to clear itself and come back to the incredible feeling of Bella's body moving beneath me.

"Unnn...Bella.....so good," I moaned into her neck as I swept my lips over her collarbone, pulling out almost completely, then slowly pushing back in all the way.

I couldn't get deep enough as I pumped in and out of her body. No matter how long we were together, I knew I would never quench the need that burned inside me for this woman. Bella consumed me, body and soul. I would die a happy man if I left this world at this moment buried in the only woman to bewitch me so completely.

Shifting my position and raising one knee slightly to change the angle of my thrust, I moved my hands up Bella's back to curl my fingers over her shoulders, pushing her body down into each thrust and allowing me to get deeper inside her. When Bella threw her head back with a loud moan, her nails digging into the skin of my back, I knew I found the spot I was searching for.

"Oh, God.....Edward.....yes, right there....oh...shit, yes!"

I smirked as I continued to pump in and out of my girl, knowing she was getting close to her release. I began kissing down Bella's chest until I reached her breasts. The little pink nipples I loved so much were taut and just waiting on me to lavish them with some attention, which I was more than happy to oblige.

"Hello, my lovelies," I whispered against the pebbled flesh and smiled before taking it in my mouth. I circled the nipple with my tongue as I closed my lips around the delectable peak.

Bella's hands were instantly in my hair and she was arching her back to push her chest into me further. Running a hand down over her ribs, I caressed the underside of the lonely breast with the tip of my index finger and rolled the nipple between my thumb and forefinger before I palmed the delicate flesh as I continued to move inside her.

"Ahhh....Edward.....oh....yes....ungh."

As I licked around her puckered flesh, Bella raked her short nails down my back once again, evoking a growl from deep in my chest as the pleasure rocked through my body.

I blew a light breath of hot air across the damp skin of her breast and Bella's hips bucked against me more forcefully.

"Bella....my beautiful, Bella," I hummed across her sternum on my way to suck her other nipple into my mouth. The contrast of the soft flesh of her breast and the diamond hard nipple was like heaven on my tongue.

I slid my hand behind her to find my way to her delectable ass. Grasping her and angling her hips up to meet my own more fully, I pulled out and slammed my body back inside her. My pace began to quicken as the coil in my abdomen contracted and I felt the tightening in my balls.

"Edward," Bella breathed. "God, yes….oh…yes."

Truly, there was no better sound in the world than Bella calling my name in that way. I planned on eliciting many more of those before this night was over, but I wasn't going to last much longer if she continued making those little mewling noises she was breathing in my ear.

I grazed my lips lightly over the side of her neck to her jaw before pressing my lips to hers. Nipping at her bottom lip, then the top, only to return to suck her full bottom lip into my mouth, she opened to me and I plunged my tongue deep inside, exploring, tasting the sweet nectar of her mouth.

Breaking the kiss, I pulled back to lay my forehead against hers. Bella's eyes fluttered open and she met my gaze as I moved deeper inside her with each thrust of my hips, my hands pressing into the flesh of her behind, holding her to me.

"I love you, Bella," I murmured, my lips brushed hers as I spoke the words.

"Oh….Edward......I love you, too."

The thrust of my hips became longer, stronger, driving deeper as I looked into her eyes. Bella met each movement of my body with a matching movement of her own. Sliding one hand up over Bella's thigh I hitched her leg over my hip, allowing me to find another degree of unholy pleasure in her body. I knew I would bow down on my knees and worship at this woman's altar, willingly sacrificing myself the rest of my days for the ecstasy I was now receiving. There was nothing more right in my life than this moment.

Moving my hand between us, I found her clit and began circling it with my middle finger. Bella bucked her hips against me, moaning as she wrapped her legs tightly around me and dug her nails into my sides. I dipped my head to find the area behind her ear that I knew would send her over the edge and bit down.

"Oh....oh, God....Ed....Edw-.......Ahhh, oh, God....I'm....Edward!"

As Bella called my name, I felt her body clamp down around me and her legs tremble around my waist. I began pumping faster in and out as Bella's body contracted, triggering a mind blowing orgasm to overtake my body.

"Ungh, Bella......oh....fuck, baby," I grunted as my body went rigid and I released inside her with one last thrust.

My breathing was ragged and I shivered as the aftershock from the strength of my orgasm racked my body. I could feel Bella's body continuing to tremble beneath me. I rolled to my side, pulling out of her as I did. I wrapped my arms around Bella to pull her into my side.

I felt Bella's shoulders shake and realized she was crying.

"Bella? Baby, what's wrong? Did....did I hurt you?" I was immediately concerned and propped myself on my elbow, rolling her over onto her back so I could see her face. Bella shook her head, but the tears were leaking out of her closed lids.

"Bella, talk to me. What's wrong?" I begged as I wiped away the tears rolling into her hairline with my thumb. "Baby, I'm sort of starting to freak out a little bit here. So could you please tell me why you're crying?"

"I....I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.....I just...I love you, so much. And.....I think it's just the......and then today.....then you go and say what you did about my..." Bella's breath was coming in short little hiccupping gasps between her words as she stammered, trying to explain why she was crying.

"I'm sorry.....I," Bella shook her head and snuggled deeper into my chest, wrapping an arm around my waist. "I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel that there's reason to be jealous of Seth. I know you said you understand we're just friends and we are, but still….I'm sorry."

I enveloped her in my arms and held her, trying to soothe her until she calmed. I buried my nose in the soft curls of her hair and took a deep breath. I waited for her to calm enough to hear what I wanted to say.

"Bella.....baby, I meant every word of what I said to you. These last couple of weeks have been really hard on both of us, and I know you don't want me apologizing anymore so I'm just going to tell you how much I love you and cherish every minute we have together. I promise to try and not be such an insufferable ass from here on out." Bella snorted a small laugh. "I'm glad that we talked tonight and that you told me how you felt about everything. I love you, Bella, and I swear to you that everything is going to be okay. Once this trial is over, everything will settle down and get better, I promise."

I tightened my arms around her and kissed the top of her head. I felt her press a kiss just over my heart before turning to place her cheek against my chest.

Her breathing soon evened out and I knew she had drifted off to sleep.

I lay there holding her for a long time, thinking about how my life had changed over the last several months. The turn of events that brought Bella and I back together would forever be a cherished part of my life. And although things had not been easy, we were finding our way together. That fact alone made me the happiest man alive and I sent out a little prayer of thanks for the woman in my arms and all that she brought with her into my life. Even the rough spots were well worth the return.

~*~

Over the next few days, Bella and I settled into a much more comfortable rhythm between our home and our work life. I realized that Bella was right about keeping work issues out of our home life and I began to feel more relaxed than I could remember feeling in a very long time. Coming home after a long day and leaving all of the stress at the door as I walked in was a welcome reprieve from the way I had lived my life the last few years.

Since it was Saturday, I felt no need to get dressed so I had been padding around the house in nothing but my pajama pants all morning. I had no intention of doing anything but relaxing, watching ESPN, and possibly unpacking a few more boxes at some point today.

"Edward?" Bella called as she came down the hall from the bedroom, crossing the room to where I sat on the sofa tuning my guitar.

"Yeah, baby," I answered, turning a key as I strummed over the strings listening for just the right tone.

'Um.....I..." she paused. I could hear a slight strain in her voice and looked up to see Bella chewing on the corner of her lip with a worried look on her face. I propped my guitar against the sofa cushions and took Bella's hand, pulling her into my lap.

"What's got you chewing on my favorite lip there, darlin'?" I teased and placed my thumb on her chin pulling down slightly to make her release her lip.

"Well, I....I wanted to talk to you about something I want to do and...." Bella looked down at her hands and her voice was quiet, almost......sad.

"What is it, baby?" I tightened my arm around her waist and crooked a finger under her chin to tilt her face up to mine, kissing the tip of her nose and getting a smile from her.

"I wanted to.....I want to make the....the empty bedroom into a music room for you." My eyes widened at her quiet admission.

Bella's, _our, _house had a master suite and two smaller bedrooms along with an office where we made room to share the space and not use one of the smaller rooms.

One of the bedrooms Bella had furnished as a guest room. Bella and I talked about the empty bedroom a few days after I moved in and she explained that is was completely emptied and redecorated in preparation for her baby over a year and a half ago. The walls were painted a soft pink for the little girl Bella carried. She and Rose picked out the pale color and the white furniture which would have completed the look Bella wanted. She had placed the order with the furniture company the day she and Rose found it, but the pieces were on back-order at the time. It couldn't be delivered for several weeks but would have arrived in time to be ready for the baby.

Rosalie canceled the order while Bella was still in the hospital, only barely catching them as the order was being filled for shipment the next day. It would have been more than Bella could have taken to come home to the furniture being delivered for a baby who was not to be.

She told me how when she came home from the hospital and as things fell apart in her marriage, she would lock herself inside that room and cry for hours. Bella mourned the loss of her baby and any babies in her future, along with the ending of her marriage. Bella mourned the loss of the life she wanted, splitting her time between sitting in that room and under the big oak tree behind the house. Bella had explained to me she finally just kept the room closed off because she hadn't found the strength to change anything inside.

It had not escaped my notice that she was going in there a great deal the last few days. I didn't want to press her on the issue in hopes she would talk to me when she felt ready. I guess she was ready to do that now and my heart broke at the sadness in her eyes.

Had she been saying goodbye to her dream of being a mother during the time she spent behind that door?

"Bella, I....we don't have to do that. The room doesn't have to be used. It's okay to leave it as is," I really didn't know what to say. I wanted to comfort her and tell her not to change the room. While I also felt that we would eventually need to do something with the room, otherwise Bella would always have a reminder of her loss locked in that room, I didn't want her to do this if she wasn't truly ready.

"No, Edward, I really do. I want to." Bella paused again and took a deep breath before meeting my gaze. "I need to do this because I'm holding on to Carlie's ghost in that room, and it's not good for me. She was never even really.....I just feel that by keeping it closed off like that, it's like an unfinished shrine to something I will never have." Bella's voice cracked and her shoulders shook with a sob. I wrapped her in my arms, pulling her to my chest and running my hand over her hair in an effort to soothe her pain.

"Bella....baby, are you sure you want to do this?" I asked as I cupped her cheek in my palm and held her head to me.

"Yeah, I am. It's time to put that room to some use for something that brings happiness into this house. And, Edward, your music brings happiness to both of us. So, yes, I want to do this, if you want to," Bella spoke into my chest and pressed a kiss just over my heart.

Wrapping my arms around her in a tight embrace, I kissed her forehead and whispered, "If that's what you want to do, baby, then I'm all for it." Bella nodded her head as she snuggled against my chest.  
"Well, where would you like to start?"

"Um....I thought we could pick out a paint color and start with that?" She sat up with a smile on her face, but I could see the shining in her eyes from the tears she was trying to hold back.

I knew from what both Rosalie and Alice told me about what happened when Bella lost Carlie, the doctors had mentioned options available to her. But Bella was in no condition to comprehend what those options were. With the due date for Rosalie and Emmett's baby approaching, I feared Bella would struggle with her loss again. I needed to know more about what Bella's doctor advised her after the surgery, but Bella didn't remember a lot of the details and had not pressed her doctor about those alternatives. Maybe if I had more information before we broached the subject it would make the discussion easier. Bella would have her dream of being a mother. I would make sure of it. Whatever it took, we would have a child.

But for now, if Bella felt this was what she needed to do to ease some of her hurt, I would do this for her.

I nodded my head and leaned up to press my lips to hers, "I think that sounds like a really good idea. I would love to have a music room here."

Several hours later, she and I both were covered in the ashen blue color of paint Bella decided on, and by decided I mean stood staring at the same two paint samples, which were almost identical in shade, for an hour. Finally I was so frustrated that I had her close her eyes and just pick a color, and before she could even see which one she chose I asked the paint clerk to mix it up for us. Bella was aggravated and fussed about my not letting her see the sample for all of about ten minutes until she saw the actual color in the can once it was finished.

Most of the afternoon was spent taping out the baseboards, windows, doors and then removing all the receptacle and light switch covers. It was a hell of a lot of work to just paint a simple wall. And though we accomplished only painting two full walls, we had primed all of them to cover the pink so it would not bleed through. The two walls we managed to complete looked damn good. I stepped back to inspect our work with a satisfied smile on my face.

"What's that look for, mister? You're awfully smug for somebody covered in paint." Bella wrapped her arms around my waist and smiled up at me. Linking my fingers together behind her back, I smirked.

"Do you know that this is the first room I have ever painted?" I asked and kissed her nose.

Bella snickered with an incredulous look on her face. "Are you serious? You've never painted a room before?"

"Nope, never. Why would I really? My apartment in Georgia had this off white color on the walls and I just never took the interest to change it while I lived there. Before that I was in the dorms my first year at Auburn and then the off campus apartment I had was nothing special really. I'm a guy, Bella, the color of the walls isn't something that a guy living on his own really contemplates that much."

Bella just shook her head and laughed, "Well, I have to say I'm impressed."

She turned her head to look at what we had gotten done for the day and smiled.

"It looks really good, if I do say so myself. Think we can finish it up tomorrow? I'm kind of tired and I'd like to see how long it's going to take to get this paint out of your hair," Bella chortled as she flicked the paint specks stuck throughout my hair.

"Hmmm.....are you offering to take on that task, darlin'?" I asked as I bent to nip at her ear lobe before placing a kiss behind her ear.

Bella threaded her fingers in my hair and held my face to her neck as I ghosted my lips down to her collarbone.

"Oh...um..." Bella lolled her head to the side to allow me better access to my favorite spot at the delicate curve of her neck and shoulder as I lightly grazed my teeth over her skin and she pressed her body fully into mine. Bella released a moan, gaining a hiss from me as she brushed her leg over my obvious erection as my cock strained against my jeans.

Biting her lip and pulling back, looking up at me with that damn innocent look on her face that she knew drove me to complete distraction, Bella ran a single finger over my bottom lip and down my chin to the center of my chest, slowly making her way to curl it just behind my belt buckle. She tugged lightly, stepping further away from me and pulling me after her out into the hall and to our room.

As we entered the bathroom, Bella released me and turned to find the faucet, twisting it to the hottest setting before coming back to stand before me. Reaching out to grab the hem of my t-shirt, she began gathering the fabric in her tiny hands as she bent to place kisses to my abdomen and chest as she gradually lifted the shirt from my body.

A growl rolled from my chest as she bit down on my nipple before licking it to soothe the sting from her teeth, and I heard her snicker under her breath.

"Bella," I warned, and she only giggled again before moving to the other side to nip much more lightly as she worked my belt free. I reached for the hem of her shirt and she stepped out of my reach.

"Uh uh....you first. I'll join you in the shower, but you've worked really hard today and I want to take care of you first." The look on Bella's face short-circuited my brain and I felt my erection get harder as she pulled on the button fly of my jeans, freeing my cock from the constraints of the denim. Bella slowly lowered herself to her knees as she slid my jeans down my legs.

I didn't know if what I was thinking was what she was actually about to do, but if it wasn't, she really needed to get off her knees, _now_.

"Uh...Bella....wh-what...what are you doing?" My eyes widened as I watched her line herself up with my raging hard on as it was tenting my boxers, begging for what she was promising kneeling in front of me this way.

"Shhhh....I'm taking your clothes off, silly. I told you I wanted to take care of you. You've been so good to me. I want to be good to you. Now stop talking and let me...." her voice trailed off suggestively as she darted her eyes to my groin.

I bit back a moan and had to close my eyes as she licked her lips and began removing my boxers, because that visual image was more than I could take at the moment and not lose my shit before she even touched me.

My eyes snapped open and I looked down at her as I felt her hand wrap around the base of my shaft and place a kiss to the tip. A deep moan rumbled in my chest at the feel of her lips as she slid them over my aching member. The warmth of her mouth was almost more than I could take and my head fell back on my shoulders as she began sucking gently, building more and more force as she moved me in and out of her mouth. My hand shot out to grab the countertop and the other balled into a fist as I fought the urge to grasp her head so I could ram my cock down her throat and fuck her heavenly mouth.

I was sure I must have entered the gates of heaven when she began twirling her tongue around my head before taking me fully in her mouth once again as deep as she could. Her hand worked what wouldn't fit in her mouth with the same rhythm. She was bringing me so close to exploding before slowing her pace; keeping me right on the edge and making my eyes cross with the euphoria ripping through my body.

"Fuck, Bella," I breathed out in a ragged pant as the release I could feel building got closer and closer. The feel of the nails of Bella's free hand scraping over my thigh as she moved up and down my shaft was almost more than I could take.

I looked down to watch what she was doing to me just as she reached out to take my balled up fist and place it on the crown of her head as she continued to work me with her mouth expertly. I wove my fingers through the silky locks of her hair and couldn't stop the movement of my hips against her mouth.

"Oh, God, baby....I'm....I'm so close...you...you need to," I wanted to tell her she needed to move if she wasn't planning on swallowing, because there was no way I could hold it back any longer, but Bella only hummed around my cock and sucked me deeper into her throat.

The whole world disappeared as I felt her free hand ghost over the inside of my thigh to cup my balls and squeeze gently.

"Ahhhh.....fuck!" My grip tightened in her hair as my body went rigid and white lights exploded in front of my eyes as my orgasm rocked through me.

Breathing was optional at the moment as I felt my knees buckle slightly from the intensity of Bella sucking me off like this.

"Holy hell, Bella. That..." I panted, trying to regain some semblance of composure but finding none in my blissed out state of mind.

Bella giggled as she stood and pressed her lips to the center of my chest.

"I told you I wanted to take care of you tonight," her words were muffled as she murmured them against my chest and I wrapped my arms around her in a tight hug.

"Well, darlin', you more than accomplished that goal," I whispered into her hair as my breathing returned to somewhat normal and my heart rate began to slow minimally.

Bella pulled back and stood on tip toe to press her lips to mine with a very satisfied smile upon her face.

"Why don't you hop in the shower and I'll be in there in just a sec to see if we can't get the paint washed out of your hair. That would be interesting for you to sit on the witness stand on Tuesday and have flecks of blue paint throughout your hair. The judge is liable to think you're off your rocker," Bella giggled. She walked toward the linen closet to grab some towels as I stepped out of my jeans and into the steaming water. I smiled to myself, waiting for Bella to join me as I placed an arm on the tiled wall and leaned my forehead against my arm, letting the hot water roll down my back and relax my muscles.

Bella joined me shortly after. I knew my life could not get better than this as her fingers ran through my hair, massaging my scalp. She worked to get the paint spatters out and giggled each time she found more paint.

"Seriously, Edward, between the blue paint and the black eye, the judge is going to think you're some kind of nut job." Bella laughed as she tapped my shoulder and told me to rinse the shampoo out of my hair.

"Well, hopefully they'll just chalk up the black eye to a hazard of the job of working with crazy two year old colts and not ask too many questions. The paint? Eh, not a whole lot I can do about that."

We both laughed as we finished showering. Bella stepped out as I turned the water off and she handed me a soft white towel while she finished drying off and slipped on her pajamas.

"I'll go warm up some leftovers, k?" Bella called over her shoulder as she walked out of the room.

I dried off and slid on my boxers and the pajama bottoms Bella left for me on the counter and walked out to make my way to the kitchen. I quirked an eyebrow as I entered the room and saw the microwave still warming the leftovers but found no Bella anywhere.

"Bella?" I called.

Turning to walk back toward the bedroom, I caught site of her curled up on her side with her back facing me, fast asleep on the couch. As much of a brave face as she put on, I knew today had been hard for her and it made my heart swell with the love I felt for her that she was doing this for me. I bent down to scoop her up in my arms and carry her to our bed.

Laying her down, I crawled into bed and curled up behind her, pulling her into me as I covered us both with the blanket and wrapped my arms around her body. Smiling like an idiot at how our bodies fit so perfectly together, all thoughts of dinner were completely forgotten as I held her in my arms.

Pressing a kiss into her hair, I whispered, "Sleep well, my love," before letting sleep take me.

Bella and I spent the whole of Sunday finishing the painting and found the perfect piano for the space available. The room wasn't big enough to accommodate a baby grand, so after looking at some of my favorite sites, we came across the perfect upright and placed the order. Bella seemed to really embrace the idea of changing the room and I wanted her to find the peace she needed in making these changes.

~*~

"Baby, you ready to go yet?" I called to Bella who was still in the bathroom.

We were supposed to join the rest of the family in less than half an hour at the courthouse for a pre-trial meeting with JJ and District Attorney Roberts. Basically, the DA wanted to go over with us as a group how things would proceed once the trial began one last time. I would be the only one from the family testifying, but DA Roberts wanted to ensure everyone was familiar with what to expect and there were no surprises once we got into the trial.

"Yeah, give me like....two minutes. I'm just about ready."

Trying unsuccessfully to straighten the damn tie I was wearing, I walked into the bathroom and stopped dead in my tracks at the sight of Bella leaning over the counter to get closer to the mirror as she applied the last of her makeup.

I bit the inside of my jaw to keep from releasing the embarrassing whimper that tried to escape and readjusted myself before crossing the room and wrapping my arms around Bella's waist.

"Do you know what you are doing to me right now, Isabella?" I growled in her ear, sliding my hands over her ribs and gripping her hips before pulling her into me.

Bella giggled and pushed her ass into my groin, "I think I have some idea, but we really don't have the time for that this morning." Bella smiled, dropping her tube of whatever it was in her makeup bag before she pulled out of my grasp and walked away, chuckling the whole way.

"Oh.....you are an evil, evil tease, woman. I have said this before, but it is so very true," I groaned and Bella laughed even louder as I followed her into the bedroom.

"Not my fault," I heard her snicker from the closet as she dug around for her shoes.

"It is your fault. If you weren't so enticing, this," I pointed to the very obvious strain in my pants and she laughed again as she reemerged from our closet, "would not be a problem."

Bella reached up to straighten my tie, smoothed her hands over the lapel of my suit coat, and snaked her arms around my middle. I loosely linked my hands behind her back and smiled down at her.

"Well, cowboy, I really can't help that, now can I?" Bella pressed a kiss to my chin, snickering as she pulled away from me. She bent to pick up her shoes before crossing to sit in the chair so she could put them on, smiling at me like the cat who ate the canary the whole time.

I watched with hungry eyes as she came back to where I leaned against our dresser to whisper in my ear, "It's not as though you don't make me wet with just that look on your face, ya know?" I sucked in a sharp intake of air and again she walked away laughing.

"This is going to be a very, very long day," I grumbled to myself as I walked down the hall and followed Bella out to the garage.

As we pulled up and I found a space as close to the courthouse as possible, I noticed Carlisle's car and Emmett's truck parked next to one another just on the other side of the lot.

There was a swarm of reporters and camera crew camped outside the front doors of the courthouse, along with the animal rights activists lined up across the street waving signs and making their presence known.

Bella had been much more subdued and quiet on the drive over and I saw her body visibly tense as she took in the three ring circus this had become, culminating with what was awaiting us once we left the confines of my car.

"This is the end of all this, you know that. Right, baby?" I took her hand once I cut the engine, lacing my fingers with hers, and brought her hand to my lips.

"Yeah, I know. I'm just ready for all this to be over. And I'm really not looking forward to seeing either Tanya or Tyler today, ya know?" Bella smiled and closed her eyes as I pressed a kiss to the side of her hand.

"I know, honey. I'm not looking so forward to seeing either one of them myself. But it's a means to an end, and we'll be done with all this before long. Then we can get on with living our lives without either of them in it, right?"

"Right." Bella nodded and leaned over to kiss me before she opened her door and climbed out of the car. "Let's get this over with."

As soon as the reporters saw us approaching the courthouse steps, they descended like the vultures they are. The questions just as inane and asinine as ever, I placed my hand at the small of Bella's back and led her through the throng as we tried to push through without comment to any of them.

We could hear the activists calling out their support and their prayers that Tanya got what was coming to her for what had happened to our animals. While we appreciated the sentiment, the fact that more than one nationally recognized animal rights organization became involved with the outcome of the case brought with it more media attention, which was not something that any of us were actively searching for. If anything, we were working to avoid as much attention as possible. The bright spot of having the animal rights groups become involved was that their support helped cast a positive light on the ranch and what was happening.

Once inside the courthouse, we made our way to the room where we were informed the others would be waiting. JJ and DA Roberts felt that it would make a good impression on the judge if the everyone in both families were in attendance, as well as the publicity of showing a united front against the injustice of what happened, which in turn would hopefully solidify with our clients we were not allowing this to go unpunished.

So as requested, the Swans and Cullen's were out in full force and planned on being here throughout the entire trial.

Charlie and Renee went back to Corpus Christi right after our last meeting with JJ to check on their house there. They had not been back since just before Alice's wedding because of the myriad of events which had occurred since that time. They flew back in last night and would be staying with Emmett and Rosalie for the duration of the trial.

DA Roberts joined us in the conference room, followed by JJ and Sarah, JJ's paralegal, along with Investigator Brooks, Ranger Michaels, and DA Roberts' paralegal. The DA greeted everyone as a group while the rest of his entourage found seating. JJ made his way around to shake each of our hands before sitting in the empty seat next to Bella. Once everyone was settled, DA Roberts launched into explaining what today's proceedings would bring, restating that I would not be called to the stand until Tuesday and that today's session would be short in comparison to the rest of the week. He explained that today would consist mainly of a listing of the charges against Tanya, the opening statements of both the prosecution and the defense, along with reviewing a list of witnesses on both sides and instructing the members of the jury on their duties. The witnesses for the defense were mainly character witnesses, but they had hired a veterinarian who would try to dispute my testimony.

DA Roberts expressed his appreciation that we were all able to rearrange our schedules to accommodate being here. Once he answered any questions that we had, he excused himself along with his team and they made their way to the courtroom. JJ also asked if there was anything he could answer that the DA had not and everyone seemed as ready as Bella and I to just get started and be done with the whole mess.

JJ explained he would be sitting with us in the gallery, just behind the DA and the other members of the prosecution, as he was our representative and not officially a part of the state's law team. He was here as much for moral support as legal representation. Bella hugged him, acknowledging that fact and our appreciation of all his work to this point.

~*~

"All rise," the bailiff cried, calling the room to order. "The honorable Maria Juarez presiding."

A tiny Hispanic woman who looked to be about the same age as Esme and Renee entered the room, dressed in a long black judge's robe, her hair pulled back in a severe bun at the nape of her neck. It was immediately apparent that Judge Juarez commanded respect and was very much in control of her courtroom.

"Let's see," Judge Juarez spoke as she began scanning the file in front of her before speaking. "Looks as though we're gathering here today regarding case 10-339279, the state of Texas vs. Ms. Tanya Denali." Judge Juarez looked out over the entire courtroom. "There are six charges I see here of," she paused to check the file once again. "Animal cruelty in the form of the intentional poisoning of livestock. The livestock in this case is the property of The Swan Ranch, owners are Ms. Isabella Swan and Mr. Emmett Swan. And The Cullen Ranch, one Mr. Carlisle Cullen, is this correct?" Judge Juarez looked to District Attorney Roberts for confirmation.

"Yes, your honor, that's correct." DA Roberts stood buttoning his jacket as he addressed the court.

"And is the state ready to proceed with its case today?"

"Yes, your honor, the state is ready to proceed with opening statements and our witnesses are in attendance today." District Attorney Roberts affirmed.

"Very good. Mr. Romanov, are you and your client ready to proceed today, as well?" Judge Juarez turned to the defense table where Tanya and her attorney, Nickalaus Romanov, were seated.

Mr. Romanov stood, "Yes, your honor."

"Okay, Mr. Roberts, you may proceed with your opening argument." Judge Juarez sat back in her large black leather chair.

As the district attorney began his speech, I felt Bella's hand slip into mine and turned my head toward her.

"Are you okay?" I whispered in her ear and she looked up at me with a weary smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just nervous," she whispered, leaning into my shoulder.

Releasing her hand, I wrapped my arm around Bella's shoulder, pulling her into my side and pressing a kiss to her temple. I ran my hand up and down her arm, trying to soothe her the only way I could at the moment.

I knew this trial would be hard for Bella to get through. The weeks leading up to today were trying at best. But she and I were in a better place as a couple, and at the end of the day that was the most important thing to me.

I turned my attention back to the proceedings in the courtroom as the DA was wrapping up his opening statement.

"And, your honor and members of the jury, if all of this were not enough to prove the state's case against Ms. Denali for the poisoning of The Swan and Cullen livestock, the state has on voice recording Ms. Denali speaking to one Ms. Victoria Harris regarding the plans she and Ms. Harris had in place for a transfer of money in the amount of ten thousand dollars for Ms. Harris' continued silence in the events that led to the poisonings. As well as Ms. Denali on a separately taped recording of a conversation again between Ms. Harris and herself of the importance of not speaking with authorities. On this tape, Ms. Denali instructs Ms. Harris to plan vacation time around when they felt Investigator Brooks would be visiting Dr. Anderson's clinic in an attempt to prolong and interfere in the investigation. When the state rests, ladies and gentlemen, it will be proven beyond all doubt that Ms. Tanya Denali is guilty of the poisoning death of Chantilly Lace and four stillborn foals, owned by the Swan Ranch, as well as the poisoning of the mare, Ace in the hole, owned by The Cullen Ranch and Mr. Carlisle Cullen. This evidence will prove that Ms. Denali should be found guilty of the charges brought against her and the state is justified in requesting that Ms. Denali receive the maximum penalty allowable under Texas law."

Thanking the court, DA Johnson returned to the prosecution table with a quick glance toward Tanya's lawyer.

"Mr. Romanov, you may present your opening statements at this time." Judge Juarez looked out to scan over those of us in the gallery and then to where Tanya sat at the defense table.

I don't remember ever seeing Tanya look so demure. She was really playing up her attempt to be perceived as the injured party in all of this. Tanya sat with her head slightly bowed, not making true eye contact with anyone. On occasion she would pull out a handkerchief and wipe at her eyes as if she were crying.

How she could be so delusional as to try and twist all she had done so that somehow she was the one who had been wronged was completely beyond me.

Nickalaus Romanov was a hot shot New York lawyer who was still wet behind the ears, but true to Tanya's personality, she seemed convinced the fact Nickalaus was fresh from the New York City justice system would carry some leverage with the court for her defense. Nickaluas Romanov was also Eleazar's nephew and I was quite sure he was representing Tanya pro bono.

I snorted at the thought of Judge Juarez being impressed by Mr. Romanov's résumé, because after one look at this judge it was apparent that was not the case. She seemed wholly unaffected by all the pomp and circumstance being thrown out in her courtroom by Tanya's lawyer. Bella looked at me, quirking an eyebrow just as Mr. Romanov was making the point of how Tanya had been an unwilling party in the whole plot and that it was actually Victoria's plan all along.

I shook my head, trying to hide a smile at the ridiculous continuation of the public story Tanya had begun weeks ago.

"The defense will prove beyond reasonable doubt that Ms. Denali was an unknowing pawn in a plan devised by Ms. Harris in a plot to bring down The Swan and Cullen ranches as part of a personal vendetta on her part."

There was an obvious snort of disgust. Both Bella and I looked around to find Victoria sitting only a few rows behind us on the other side of the courtroom. She was shaking her head with a death glare on her face directed right at the back of Tanya's head.

If Victoria had any reservations about turning on Tanya, that one statement sealed her resolve to bury Tanya, and I couldn't have been happier with that turn of events.

Just as I was turning back to the front of the courtroom, I caught sight of Tyler sitting a few rows behind Victoria. His nose was splinted and both eyes were black. Even though I knew I shouldn't, my baser caveman instincts bubbled up and I couldn't help the satisfaction that ran through me at finally getting my hands on that bastard. Being the cocky son of bitch that he is, he looked me in eye and narrowed his eyes as if he were threatening me before he turned his attention back to the court proceedings.

I couldn't help but smirk as I turned around just as Mr. Romanov finished his opening statement and sat back down with Tanya. I noticed his furious scribbling on the legal pad in front of him and a dark look crossed Tanya's face before she cleared her expression.

Judge Juarez spoke to the jury, instructing them on their duties and their responsibility to not discuss the case or its proceedings with anyone outside of the courtroom. She cautioned them in regards to the media coverage that the case had garnered and warned that she would sequester them if necessary.

"Okay, I believe that sums up what we have on the docket for today. We will resume tomorrow morning at nine o'clock. Mr. Roberts, be ready to call your first witness at that time. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, please remember my instructions regarding discussing this case outside of the courtroom. You are dismissed." And with that she brought the gavel down, closing out today's proceedings, and promptly left the courtroom.

"Well, that was a lot of fun, huh?" Jasper smirked as Bella and I joined the rest of family and JJ outside the courtroom.

"Yeah, loads," I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Tomorrow should be interesting."

"Well, I guess we better get this over with, no sense in hiding out in here. The vultures are swarming out there and there doesn't seem to be any way around it, so..." Charlie's voice trailed off as he reminded all of us about what awaited us outside the courthouse.

The media storm that we all encountered on the way in was still in full force as they would want to record our reactions from the first day of the trial.

"Just remember what we discussed and respond with 'speak to my lawyer'. Otherwise ignore them and move as quickly as possible. I'll draw as much of the attention as I can by making your official statement regarding the beginning of the trial, but there will still be those that will try to get you to say something. Especially you two," JJ looked at both of us pointedly and Bella nodded her head. I placed my arm around her waist and pulled her into my side, rested my hand on her hip and leaned in to kiss her hair. Bella looked up at me with a smile and a very determined look on her face.

"No time like the present. Let's get this party started." Emmett smiled and clapped his hands together before taking Rosalie's hand and leading the way out.

Bella snorted and shook her head at Emmett's faux excitement.

"Gotta love him," I whispered in her ear and grinned, sliding my hand to the small of Bella's back as we stepped into the late afternoon sun and the flash of the cameras. Bella leaned into my side but kept her head up as we made our way through the reporters, throwing question after question at us as we followed the rest of our family.

There was a horde of reporters surrounding Tanya and her lawyer to the right of the steps. I could see Eleazar and Carmen standing just behind Tanya in all her indignant glory. Carmen's head was bowed and the pained expression on Eleazar's face was obvious.

In the end, Tanya's actions hurt her family as much as it hurt ours. Eleazar and Carmen Denali were good people and they were devastated by all the actions of their daughter.

I could hear JJ behind us as he called the attention of those reporters closest and began giving the statement his office had prepared.

Opening the passenger door as we finally reached my car; I helped Bella inside and closed the door. Sliding into the driver's seat, I looked over to see Bella with her head leaned back on the headrest and her eyes closed. Reaching over to lace my fingers with hers, I asked, "You okay?"

Bella's eyes snapped open and she met my gaze with a smile, "Yep, I'm fine. Really," Bella tightened her hand in mine. "That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and although the reporters piss me off, I'm not letting them get to me anymore."

I smiled and leaned in to place a kiss to her lips.

"Good girl. Let's go home."

* * *

**E/N: So....we got the trial started and we see that the the family is presenting the united front we knew they would. And let me just say that Edward and Bella will be discussing the issue touched on during the changing of the baby's room. They will not be pushing this subject to the back burner, trust that conversations will be coming up over the last few chapters....Only 5 more to go plus the epilogue (s) *sni****ff***

**I know that to a degree I'm taking some poetic license with the trial but that's just how it is, I'm trying to keep it as real as possible but....*shrugs***

**And please don't take the mention of the picketing Animal Rights activists as that I don't like or respect the work that is done in that arena, because I do....it's part of the story and the point is made that the characters appreciate the support they receive so please don't PM or flame me for being disrespectful to the animal rights organizations out there. This part of the story is a trial for an animal cruelty case, animal rights groups would be involved and interested in making sure the person responsible was prosecuted. Thanks. **

**One last thing....I want to thank all of you who voted for MMB on the Silent Tears awards. It didn't win but I thank you all just the same. My Yes, My No by the amazing Lolashoes took the prize. Congrats to her because she so very much deserves it for that unbelievable story! **

**smooches to you all!! **


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended. The plot and situations within this story are property of the author.**

**Huge thank you to Jessica1971 because ya'll just don't know how much magic she worked on this chapter...I would be embarrassed if you knew. Trust!**

**Honestly this chapter kicked my butt and it's a bit late posting which is totally my fault. But here it is the long awaited verdict. ^_~ So, I also need to send a thank you out to all of you who are reading and reviewing I so very much appreciate it. There are several new readers that reviewed and I so very much thank you for that. I hope you all enjoy the rest of the story as MMB winds it's way to the end. **

**Without further ado....**

* * *

Chapter 26 Consequences...

BPOV

"Good girl. Let's go home." Edward smiled at me as he started the engine and began to back out of the space.

What I said was true, the reporters weren't as bad as I thought they would be. I don't mean they weren't awful, but.....I guess I was getting used to the stupid things they said and asked in an attempt to get a response. It's understandable; they have a job to do. It just can't come quick enough to me for that job to carry them on to the next hot topic.

Having the spotlight on me in an arena while showing one of my horses is one thing, but to have the inquiring minds and eyes of those reporters watching every move made by not just myself or Edward but the entire family, that was another thing entirely.

Laying my hand on Edward's thigh, I felt myself relax further into the leather of the seat as he merged into traffic on the highway.

"Edward," I lolled my head lazily to face him, "thank you."

Edward snapped his head in my direction, a look of confusion on his face, and raised an eyebrow, "For what?"

"For today, being here and just being you. Because you're going to testify. You're making sure Tanya doesn't get away with what she did. But mostly.......for loving me." I whispered the last words, my heart beating a rapid staccato in my chest.

Edward's attention was focused on the road ahead but he turned to me with a tender expression on his face as those words left my lips.

"Bella...." Edward murmured as he reached up to cup my cheek with his large hand.  
I leaned into his soothing touch and covered his hand with my own before turning to place a kiss in the center of his palm.

I laced our fingers together and lay our hands in my lap. Turning to look out the window, I sank further into the seat.

My eyelids felt heavy watching the cityscape pass as we sped down the highway toward home and my mind drifted to the activities from the weekend.

I could see in Edward's eyes on Saturday that he wanted to talk about the decision I made to convert the room I planned on bringing Carlie home to into a music room, but he held back and let it be for now. For the moment I was relieved by his reluctance to broach that subject.

I was trying my best to take steps toward letting go of the pain. Like with Tyler, I needed to let go of the memory of what I lost, of what may never be. I couldn't live my life holding onto the heartache anymore. There was no way to completely recover from losing my baby, but continuing to have that room...... a room designated for the cooing of a baby, a baby that would never be, was more than I could hold onto any longer. I knew that what happened with my pregnancy was not _my fault_, but the guilt was overwhelming at times.

A placental detachment and the subsequent rupture of my uterus was the explanation given for losing Carlie, as well as the hysterectomy. It's not uncommon, but knowing in my head losing the baby was not in relation to a direct action of mine was one thing. In my heart......my body had betrayed me and my baby. The bottom line was all the same, I was unable to protect the one life which was more important to me than any other, and I would never have that opportunity again.

I spent some time in the room over the days before I mentioned my plan to Edward, saying goodbye to the memories there, finally embracing the fact I was okay with a future of just Edward and I. My heart was broken, but I knew if children were in our future we would figure it out when that time came. But when I spoke the words to Edward, it was as if saying it out loud made it more real. I couldn't stop the tears from falling as the scar in my heart was ripped wide open again.

Edward told me earlier this summer that we would figure out our options about children when the time came. I knew after my surgery the doctors discussed options which would be open to me in the future, but the drugs in my system and the complete shattering of my soul over losing my baby made it impossible to comprehend anything other than that my baby was gone and I had surgery which erased any future of ever having another child.

In the effort to let go, I needed to make changes and I wanted to create something to bring happiness into our home, something that was Edward's. And hopefully by doing this, it would make him feel more like this was his home, not just my home in which he now lived.

Honestly, if someone would have told me that by the end of summer Edward and I would be not only together but _living_ together, I would have called the men in little white coats for them. It was a ludicrous idea that we would be where we are now.

But Edward _was_ back in my life and he made his intentions for our future clear. And everything I thought I knew up to that point was turned on its axis, becoming something else entirely. Knowing that Edward would be my husband made the idea of trying marriage again something I wanted more than I could explain. My heart had secretly dreamed of that very thing for a very long time, and images of what it would be like to actually spend the rest of my life as Mrs. Edward Cullen ran through my mind.

"Bella...." I heard someone calling my name and smiled, because I would know that voice anywhere. _Edward._

"Hmmm," I hummed as my eyes fluttered open.

"Hey there, sleepyhead. We're home." Edward's crooked grin greeted me.

"Hmmm....did I fall asleep?" I mumbled as I stretched and shivered, the images of my dream flashing through my head.

Edward chuckled and nodded his head.

"Yeah, darlin', you did. You okay? You look a little startled." Edward asked with concern evident in his voice and his brow furrowed slightly.

"Huh? Oh...yeah, I'm....I'm fine." I smiled. "Just a little disoriented, I guess. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep."

Edward leaned across the console and pressed his lips to mine, weaving his fingers in my hair and holding my face to his as he deepened the kiss. He brushed his satin tongue over my bottom lip and slid it in my mouth. I opened to him and moaned into his mouth as our tongues met, caressing one another reverently.

"I love you, Bella," Edward whispered against my lips as he broke our kiss.

I pressed my forehead against his, framing his face with my hands as I whispered my love to him.

"Come on, we better get out of here before I drag you in the back seat and have my wicked way with you." Edward winked with that wicked grin on his face and opened his door.

"You keep saying these things as if I you think I'm going to complain about them. Quit it with all the idle threats."

I could hear Edward's musical laugh ring out as he closed his door and I stepped out of the car myself.

Edward wrapped his arm around my waist as he joined and we walked up the steps toward the front door.

"You are going to be the death of me, woman," he laughed as he pressed a kiss to the side of my head.

I giggled, leaning further into Edward's embrace and tightening my arm around his waist as we entered the house.

~*~

"Edward...." I murmured as I pressed a kiss right between his shoulder blades while running my hand up over his abdomen. Even in his sleep he reacted to my touch; the muscles of his stomach contracted as my fingertips curled in the spattering of hair that covered his chest.

"Edward," I whispered against his neck as I darted my tongue out to lick a trail from his shoulder to his ear. "Wake up, lover boy."

I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from giggling as he groaned and I felt the shift of his hips as more parts of his body reacted to my wake up call.

"Wake up," I whispered against the shell of his ear and smiled as I felt him shiver.

I let my hand begin to roam down his chest and over his abdomen - feather light touches to the indention of his abdominal muscles, circling his navel only to lightly run my fingers through the line of hair that trailed to my ultimate destination, and gaining yet another sexy moan from my sleepy man. Just as I was reaching the nirvana at the end of that little trail, Edward's hand shot out and stopped me, a deep growl in his throat.

"Unless we have time for me to thoroughly ravish you this morning, woman, you might not want to start that." Edward's sleepy voice was one of my favorite things to hear. It was all gravelly and rough, and did things to my body that were wholly inexplicable.

I giggled and kissed his shoulder, "Nope, sorry, it's a little after six now and we're supposed to meet JJ at eight thirty."

Edward huffed a frustrated sigh and rolled over onto his back, wrapping me in his arms and pulling me tightly into his side. I threw my leg over his thighs and bent my arm, placing my hand over his chest to rest my chin on it so I could admire his handsome face.

"Good morning, love," Edward murmured. "Do I at least get a good morning kiss?" Edward puckered his lips dramatically and waited with his eyes closed, head thrown back on his pillow.

I laughed at his silliness and crawled up his body to press our lips together in what I planned to be a quick peck, but Edward obviously had other ideas.

As soon as my lips touched his, he tightened his arms around my body and kissed me with a fervor that took my breath away. It was pointless to fight it and I wasn't about to stop him as he flipped us to cover my body with his. I released a deep sigh of contentment as he slipped gently inside me. We moved together in slow, languid shifts and soft touches, with quiet kisses and delicate whispered words of love as we each reached our release.

Afterward, we lay for a moment catching our breath while our bodies floated back to Earth.

Edward kissed my cheek gently and rolled to his side, "You want to shower first?"

I rolled to my side, tucking my hands under my pillow with a mock pout and looked at Edward from under my lashes.

"We can't shower together?"

"Mmmm, darlin', if we shower together, we will most definitely be late," Edward whispered as he ran his fingertips over my arm, brushing the outside of my breast and down the dip of my waist to finally rest on my hip. His fingers curled around the curve of my behind and I yelped as he squeezed my butt.

"You better get up, little girl, or I may just not make it to testify today because I'm not going to let you out of this bed," Edward growled, leaning down to place a kiss at the curve of my neck.

"Okay, okay.....mmmm....but you need to quit that....ahhh, Edward. Seriously, if you don't stop.....we're not...oh, what the hell...."

We might be on a time constraint this morning, but I'm not a total idiot.

~*~

"Ow." My hand shot to cover my eye as I poked myself with the mascara brush. "Shit."

"What did you do?" Edward laughed as he took his eyes off the road for a moment to look at me.

"Ugh....I poked myself with the mascara brush....." I scowled one-eyed at Edward and it only served to make him laugh harder. "Shut up, it's not funny. That hurt."

"Aw...honey, I'm sorry. Do you need the good doctor to take a look for you?" Edward mocked as he waggled his eyebrows, looking way more like Groucho Marx than I was entirely comfortable with.

"You're a smartass, do you know that? And you're not that kind of doctor," I shot back indignantly, but couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled out of my chest.

"Are you okay, really?" Edward may tease me incessantly, but under that he was always attentive and caring.

I smiled, "Yeah, baby. I'm fine, my eyes just burning a little bit. Accident prone, ya know?"

I fished a tissue out of my purse and looked up into the mirror.

"Ugh, now I have mascara all over my face because my eye's watering like a faucet. Funny thing, ya know? I wouldn't be having this problem if it weren't for this incredibly hot man in my bed this morning who is completely insatiable and wouldn't let me out of bed so I could get ready properly."

Edward chuckled, "Oh, is that so? Hmmm.....well I may just need to have a talk with this man. He seems to have missed the fact that you have a boyfriend."

"Oh, no, he's well aware of that fact," I continued in all seriousness as I wiped the mascara from under my eye. "But like I said, he's incredibly hot and well....I just can't seem to resist him. No offense, of course." I turned to look at Edward.

The corner of his mouth was pulled up in that damn crooked grin and my heart stuttered.  
"Hmmm....I have to say that I'm highly offended, my dear."

It was then that I realized we had made it to the courthouse and Edward was parking the car. He leaned toward me and my breath caught as he whispered, "If I have my say, the _only_ man to be in your bed from now on will be me, darlin'."

And with that he climbed out of the car, leaving me sitting in my seat trying to get control of my breathing and the racing of my heart.

_Damn him for having that effect on me_.

~*~

Edward and I made our way through the throng of reporters and inside the courthouse. We rushed through security, trying to get to the conference room where we were to meet with JJ. Both JJ and the DA had prepped Edward on what to expect from the cross examination and what questions the prosecution would be asking so that he was ready. Edward assured JJ that he was more than prepared for whatever Tanya's lawyer might throw at him.

It was evident from the antics leading up to the beginning of the trial that the level of moronic irrelevance Mr. Romanov was willing to go to make Tanya look as good as possible was epic. And he was tricky beyond belief in twisting witness's words, creating the illusion of something completely different than what was actually said.

My only concern was if, or more likely when, Mr. Romanov got personal or attacked me in particular that Edward would be able to hold his composure. I knew for sure that Edward could hold himself together if they went after him or his testimony, but his protectiveness of me would test his control in giving a level response without losing his temper. Mr. Romanov would try his best to make exactly that happen - Edward losing his temper would be like Christmas day for Tanya's lawyer.

I noticed Victoria sitting near the back of the courtroom as we passed on our way to where our family was already seated. She looked stiff and nervous; she was scheduled to testify today, as well, and she was sitting alone on the bench waiting for this to all be over, like the rest of us. Tanya and her lawyer were in a deep conversation with their heads close together and Mr. Romanov was scribbling on his note pad. Carmen and Eleazar were seated just behind her as they had been yesterday.

Judge Juarez entered just after the jury did, calling the room to order and the proceedings into session.

DA Roberts called his first witness and Investigator Brooks took the stand. The investigator basically laid out the prosecutions case and all the evidence that was collected during the investigation, detailing each item and how it all pointed directly at Tanya as the responsible party. The investigator explained how, while working with Ranger Michaels, they approached Victoria for questioning and became suspicious as some parts of her story were not matching with the previous statements collected from Bree and others within the clinic. He explained how Victoria cracked under the pressure and pointed the finger at Tanya as the person behind the whole scheme and then agreed to cooperate with the investigation.

Mr. Romanov began his cross examination and tried on every turn to twist Investigator Brooks' words. But Investigator Brooks was not someone who was intimidated easily, and he was pretty much flawless in his testimony and defense of the investigative practices used by himself and Ranger Michaels.

Victoria was next to testify. She didn't fare as well in her confrontation with Mr. Romanov. He was able to turn her testimony around and twist it to appear as though she was just a vindictive psycho that was hell bent on destroying Tanya because of an extortion attempt gone bad. Mr. Romanov was a smug bastard as he completed his cross examination, he literally ripped Victoria apart on the stand and she was a mess. DA Brooks did a bit of damage control in his rebuttal but Victoria had difficulty holding it together through his questioning.

Judge Juarez allowed Victoria to step down she was still in tears as she passed us on her way out of the courtroom. The judge decided to break for lunch and set the time to reconvene.

Outside the courtroom, JJ assured us all that Victoria's breakdown on the stand really wasn't as bad as it looked. He was confident that with the taped conversations between she and Tanya, Mr. Romanov would be hard pressed to dispute Tanya's own words.

DA Roberts stepped out of the courtroom at that time and confirmed JJ's assurances. He also reminded Edward that he would be calling him to the stand after the lunch break, so to be prepared.

"As you see, Mr. Romanov is a tricky bastard, so I'm sure he will go after your private life quickly. He's grasping for straws really, but he'll do it. Just be prepared." He clapped Edward on the back and left us to make his way toward the elevator.

We milled around with the rest of the family, discussing our options of lunch spots which we could reach quickly. Everyone was in agreement to just go to the deli just across the street from the courthouse. Though it meant we would possibly be followed by reporters, we figured it was the easiest option.

Of course, Jasper being the master of subterfuge that he is, he led us to a side entrance of the courthouse which allowed us to walk out without being seen by any reporters and get to the deli undetected.

When we were in high school, Jasper was constantly sneaking out of his house in the middle of the night. And though we were usually together as a group in those late night rendezvous', Jasper was the only one who never got caught, and by association Alice rarely was found out either. Even Rosalie would get busted but somehow Jasper would slip under the radar.

Jasper's skills weren't as stellar on our way back and we were spotted as soon as we crossed the street. The reporters descended, throwing out questions mostly directed at Edward, trying their best to get a preview of his testimony.

We made it back inside the courtroom and settled in just as Judge Juarez entered from her chambers to call court back into session.

"Mr. Roberts, are you ready to call your next witness?" Judge Juarez spoke with an authority that was in complete contradiction to the fact that she was about the size of Alice.

My heart slammed against my chest because I knew that Edward was the next to be called to the stand. The DA had already presented the autopsy reports as evidence, both the one that James had provided to us and the one that Edward had received from the lab who performed the actual post-mortem exam.

Edward held my hand in his and smiled as he was called to the stand. If he was nervous about what he was about to do, it wasn't evident in his devastatingly handsome features.  
I was mesmerized by the movement of his fingers as he buttoned his suit jacket and lithely crossed the courtroom to the bailiff to be sworn in. His quiet confidence took my breath away. And suddenly all the nervous energy I felt up to this point about the trial seemed to leave my body, as if Edward's confidence had become my own.

The DA stood as Edward took his seat on the witness stand and began his questioning. Edward was flawless in his presentation and explanation of how he became involved in the case on a professional basis. He explained how his research at the University of Georgia gave him an insight into the development of the Equine fetus and how this helped in linking the poison which caused Lacy's death to the still born foals from our previous foaling season. Edward detailed how the poison, which was found in the reports, changed the DNA of the developing foal and that of the placenta, which slowly caused the foal's death while the mare slipped into liver failure. His explanation was technical, but yet easy for those of us without an extensive degree in veterinary medicine to understand. DA Roberts touched on the subject of our private life and Edward was matter of fact in confirming that we were in a relationship, reiterating the fact that the statements made in a professional context could be corroborated and the validity of the evidence was in no way biased by any personal connection to either myself or his own family.

Edward's responsibility with his testimony was to explain the details of the reports in layman's terms, he was not responsible for pointing the finger at the guilty party. He did this with an ease and grace I knew he possessed, but witnessing it in this context was.....awe inspiring.

DA Roberts finished up his questioning and had a seat. Judge Juarez turned then to Mr. Romanov and instructed him that he could now cross examine Edward.

I watched as Edward shifted his position in the leather chair and his shoulders stiffened infinitesimally.

Mr. Romanov stood, thanking the court in a grand fashion as he made his way to where Edward sat. The wide smile on Mr. Romanov's face was hardly a good disguise for the shark hiding underneath.

"Dr. Cullen, thank you for such a fantastic display of your prowess in painting the picture of the way in which these poor, unfortunate animals met their demise. It's plain to see that your background and expertise have given you great insight into the case. And I can see why the DA and investigators were so willing to have you testify, even though your involvement could be construed as a conflict of interest."

"I'm not-" Edward was cut off before he could finish his sentence and I saw his eyes flash with anger.

Mr. Romanov obviously caught it as well, as he smirked and gesticulated grandly as he turned to pace back across the court room toward the defense table.

"Would you mind explaining more fully what exactly your relationship with Mrs. Swan-Crowley is, Dr. Cullen?"

"Swan." Edward replied through his teeth.

"Excuse me?" Mr. Romanov smiled.

"Swan. Bella's last name is Swan. She dropped the Crowley when she and Tyler divorced."

"Oh, yes, that's right. Please, forgive the slip. Now can you explain what your relationship is to Ms. _Swan_?"

_Oh Shit_.

This could not bode well for the path of this cross examination if Romanov was starting his line of questioning with the personal stuff.

"Ms. Swan and I have known each other since we were kids. And-"

"What is your current relationship with Ms. Swan, Dr. Cullen?" Mr. Romanov again cut Edward off as he tried to explain our relationship. I watched as Edward's entire body tensed in an effort to control himself. He took a deep breath, releasing it slowly.

"Yes, if you would have let me finish my statement, I would have explained that Ms. Swan and I currently live together and are in a personal relationship."

"So this relationship between you and Ms. Swan is of a sexual nature then, as well?"

"Yes. I don't really see-"

"And you were in this relationship at the time of your initial involvement in this case, Dr. Cullen?"

"No, we were not." Edward's voice was low but there was an edge that was unmistakable.

"So, this relationship began after you supposedly found discrepancies between the reports provided to Dr. Anderson and what is allegedly the 'full' report from Texas A&M. Is that correct?"

"Yes." Edward's eyes met mine. I wanted to reach out to him, to touch him to reassure him, to help calm him as I could see the tenuous hold on his control was beginning to slip.

"So, Dr. Cullen, is it also true that you and Ms. Swan have a previous history of a sexual relationship?"

"Yes."

"Dr. Cullen, would it be safe to say that Ms. Swan was _extremely_ grateful to you for the '_discovery_' made in regards to the circumstances which led to the death of Chantilly Lace? Would it be safe to say that your involvement and subsequent findings of alleged foul play softened Ms. Swan's feelings toward you? That these findings possibly rekindled some of the...._romantic feelings_ she held for you. Is it not possible that your findings of poisoning, which had not previously been noted, was much more about your attempts at a reconciliation between yourself and Ms. Swan? That it had little to do with truly finding out the causes of Chantilly Lace's death? And is it not also true that you are now the staff veterinarian at the Swan Ranch? It seems to me, Dr. Cullen, that you, as well as Ms. Swan, had a lot to gain from this simple _discovery_ of an alleged poisoning, and not the death by natural causes initially found by Dr. Anderson."

Edward's expression darkened as he scowled at Mr. Romanov.

I took in a deep breath and tried to calm my own temper at yet another ploy in the dwindling bag of tricks to turn the case around in Tanya's favor, but this was beyond all comprehension. It was evident that Mr. Romanov was trying to goad Edward into blowing up on the stand.

My heart was pounding in my ears as I watched Edward and squeezed Rosalie's hand which she had slipped into mine when Romanov started this tear on Edward's motives.

Edward took a deep breath and his eyes shot from Mr. Romanov's to mine. As he looked into my eyes, I watched him release the breath he was holding and the tension in his shoulders began to relax, a smirk broke out on his handsome face. I couldn't help but smile back at him. I knew that smirk, and Mr. Romanov had no idea what was about to hit him. Edward cleared his throat and turned his piercing gaze on Mr. Romanov.

"Mr. Romanov, surely you are not suggesting that I would, first, perjure myself by taking this stand and giving testimony regarding the post-mortem reports submitted into evidence by DA Roberts as anything other than absolute truth. The same testimony in which I have previously explained the method in which those discrepancies were discovered, which by your line of questioning would also mean I have perjured myself?

"Are you implying, sir, that I would jeopardize my professional standing, that I would risk at the very least sanctioning from the licensing board? That I would do these things all to get in the good graces of Ms. Swan?

"Surely, Mr. Romanov, you are not slandering Ms. Swan by insinuating that she would invite me into her bed as well as offer me a job on her payroll only to insure that I testified in her favor. That in effect Ms. Swan is manipulating my testimony with her feminine wiles and putting her professional reputation, as well as mine, in question just to insure that the person allegedly responsible for the poisoning death of her animals is prosecuted to the full extent available. I'm positive that this is not what you're asking me, so I will answer your question by saying this. Ms. Swan and I were not in a relationship at the time I was asked to review the reports provided to the Swan Ranch by Dr. James Anderson. We were also not in a relationship when I placed the call to Texas A&M to request a copy of the full report of the post-mortem exam on Chantilly Lace. We were not in a relationship when I spoke with the veterinarian in charge of the mare owned by my family's ranch and was informed that they suspected the symptoms the mare presented with were the result of a poisoning. The fact is that Ms. Swan and I were not in a relationship for a period of time after these events occurred. My private life and relationship with Ms. Swan had absolutely no bearing on my work on this case in a professional capacity. Do I have a personal stake in the matter? Absolutely. But one has nothing to do with the other in respect to the truth of what I have attested to today, or in my original statements to the DA and Investigator Brooks."

As Edward finished, he looked at me. The sound of his velvety voice hanging in the air caused a shiver to run down my spine and I smiled.

If it wouldn't totally blow the intensity of the moment, I would have squealed like a school girl, ran to him, and kissed him, _hard_. That was pure genius!

Emmett leaned across Rosalie to whisper, "Have I mentioned how much I've always loved that man?"

I couldn't hold back the giggle and tried to cover it with a cough. Even Rosalie had to hide her smile behind her hand as Emmett grinned at both of us.

Mr. Romanov stood there in the middle of the courtroom with a stunned look upon his face, silently glaring at Edward.

"Mr. Romanov, do you have any further questions for Dr. Cullen?" Judge Juarez asked after it seemed that Mr. Romanov was not going to continue.

"Uh...no, your honor. I believe I'm finished with the cross examination of Dr. Cullen," Mr. Romanov answered quietly and returned to the defense table to take his seat next to an irate Tanya. I could see she was laying into him in hushed whispers and had a furious expression on her face.

"Mr. Roberts, do you have any rebuttal you would like to offer?" Judge Juarez turned her intimidating gaze on DA. Roberts, who responded that he had nothing further to add or ask of Edward.

"Dr. Cullen, you may step down. Thank you for your testimony."

Edward nodded to the judge as he stood and stepped off the witness stand. He looked straight at me, buttoning his coat as he made his way to where I sat just behind the prosecution's table, never breaking eye contact until he was seated beside me. Edward slid his arm over the back of the bench and curled his fingers around the base of my neck before he placed a gentle kiss on my cheek.

I leaned into his side and tilted my head so I could whisper right into his ear, "That was amazing. And you are _so_ getting lucky tonight, Dr. Cullen."

Edward's fingers tightened around my neck as he hissed through his clenched teeth and I saw his eyes darken.

"Bella..." he warned.

I kissed his cheek and looked at him through my lashes with an innocent smile on my face.

"You're playing with fire, woman," Edward growled.

I couldn't contain the giggle that fell from me.

~*~

Though I promised myself to not let the reporters get to me, it was hard to ignore them day after day and we were all dealing with it the best way we could. Everyone seemed to have their own way of ignoring them and fending them off the way JJ had advised.

Jasper had a really quiet demeanor but he was pretty intimidating when need be, so the reporters gave him and Alice a wide berth most of the time. Emmett and Rosalie, well, they were a formidable obstacle just in their appearance alone. Even in her pregnant state it was obvious that you didn't mess with Rosalie. Carlisle and Esme, always quiet and dignified, kept their heads up and answered the questions thrown at them with the standard answer JJ gave to all of us. While Charlie was reserved and ignored the press completely and led Renee through, she was classically herself. Renee was one of a kind and though she followed, for the most part, JJ's instructions and ignored them, even Renee was caught off guard as we left the courthouse after Edward's testimony.

One reporter in particular hurled questions about my relationship with Edward, as well as some of the accusations that Mr. Romanov had made, the minute we stepped outside.

"Excuse me?" Renee's derisive laugh made it evident she knew exactly what the woman said even though the question had been generalized for the group.

The reporter looked as though she was going to pee her pants because she got a response from one of us and checked her digital recorder, making sure it was on so she didn't miss a thing before she repeated the question for my mother.

"What are your thoughts about Dr. Cullen and your daughter's relationship? How exactly did Dr. Cullen get the job with your ranch, Mrs. Swan?" The woman was practically salivating at the look on Renee's face.

Obviously she thought she was going to get a really juicy headline out of this one. Something along the lines of '_Matriarch of Swan clan is more an ugly duckling than a swan..."_

Renee laughed, but it was not a laugh of humor and she honed her gaze on the reporter who smiled, not realizing the Pandora's box she had just opened.

Our group as a whole stopped and gaped at the exchange between my mother and the poor unsuspecting reporter.

I felt Edward stiffen and his hand slipped from the small of my back to rest on my hip, pulling me into his side as if he was trying to protect me.

_Crazy man, she's saying that stuff about you, too...._ I smiled up at him because it was true, but I knew the context of the accusations upset Edward much more for what they said about me than the implications against his character.

"Oh honey, I would have thought you could come up with something better than that," Renee laughed, but there was an edge to the sound. "I'm going to guess that you were in the courtroom today since you're asking an asinine question like that." Renee smiled a condescending smile but spoke so motherly that it made it seem like she was being friendly with the unsuspecting reporter. "Which I'm sure Judge Juarez would really like to know, don't you think she would like to know that this young lady was in the courtroom today, Mr. Scott?" Renee turned to look at JJ, who stood just behind her.

"Yes, Mrs. Swan, I believe Judge Juarez would love to know that since she has a no media order on the courtroom. I'm sure she would find this information very interesting." JJ wore a serious look on his face, but I could see the mirth in his eyes because he knew as well as I did what a hellcat my mother could be.

"Well, since I'm sure this nice young lady wasn't really in there today, because she would be aware that the media were not allowed in the courtroom. But had she been in the courtroom, she would have heard the testimony given today and well...." Renee turned her head to look at Edward and smiled before turning back to the woman standing just to her left. "I believe you have all the answer you need in what was said on the witness stand, and you don't really need a comment from me now, do you?"

Renee patted the woman on the arm in the way you comfort a small child after they've been scolded and walked away without another word. The reporter was left stunned as we passed her and made our way down the steps of the courthouse.

Rosalie tapped my shoulder just as we reached the bottom step, whispering in my ear, "Have I told you lately how much I love your mother?"

I snorted and shook my head, smiling. There were many times over the years which proved it was true what they say about men marrying someone like their mother, and it was never more evident than with my brother, because Renee and Rosalie had _a lot _in common. Their loyalty and fierceness when it came to protecting their family was only one of their things in common, and I loved them both dearly for that.

The next few days of the trial were much the same. The prosecution rested its case on Wednesday afternoon and instead of the defense starting late in the day, they were held over to start the following morning. So we were back in the courtroom for day four, bright eyed and bushy-tailed, just waiting to see what would be brought out in Tanya's attempt to prove her innocence.

I was astounded, and somewhat awed, by Mr. Romanov's skill of twisting testimony. Granted, I was prejudiced toward the validity and truth of the evidence presented against Tanya. But the fact remained she was guilty, nothing would change that in my mind and we could only pray that the jury saw it that way, as well.

We spent the whole day Thursday listening to the witnesses called in Tanya's defense singing her praises. There were the deb's who we all grew up with and Tanya stayed close with long after high school and college, and then there were her sorority sisters who talked about what a tireless volunteer Tanya had been in working with animal shelters and how they were sure she would never harm an animal in the way she was accused. Honestly, it made me sick to my stomach. The closing arguments had gone as well as could be expected and the case was turned over to the jury.

I felt horrible for Eleazar and Carmen, they didn't deserve what was happening to their family anymore than we did. The ramifications of Tanya's actions were far reaching in their destruction. It hurt both my family and Edward's, our business as well as the Cullen's. James' career was completely annihilated; we heard he was closing his practice and planned to move out of the area once the trial was over. That is, if he still had a license after the board was finished reviewing his handling of our animal's care.

I knew I held some of the blame for that as well, because at the end of the day it was my responsibility to care for those mares. I was the one who worked closest with James, on a daily basis really, especially during the breeding and foaling seasons. So the fact that I didn't speak out before about my concerns that he was missing things with the mares allowed for the situation to escalate into what we were now dealing with.

Of course when I mentioned this to Edward, he was quick to let me know that it was James' duty as the veterinarian to make sure he did what was in the best interest of the animals in his care and that there was no reason that I should feel guilty because of James' incompetence. And to a degree I knew Edward was right, but still....

"Edward?" I called, walking down the hall. We had received the call a short time ago and were due at the courthouse in half an hour for the reading of the verdict.

"In here." Edward's voice rang out from behind the half closed office door. I pushed the door open further and smiled when he looked up.

"Hey. What'cha doin?" I crossed the room to stand behind the chair and leaned over the back to wrap my arms around his neck, kissing his cheek.

"Nothing, just paying some bills while you finished up," he smiled, wrapping his hand around my forearms, leaning his head back and giving me a quick kiss. "You ready to go?"

"Yep. Just about as ready as I could be for today. Edward, you don't-"

He cut me off before I could even finish the thought, swiveled the chair around to face me and pulled me into his lap.

"No, Bella. There is _no_ way the jury is going to find her not guilty. It's just not possible. I know you're nervous about this, but....." He looked into my eyes and cupped my face with one hand while the other was wrapped around my waist. I rested my hands on his chest and tried to soak up some of his confidence in the outcome of today's verdict.

"Sweetheart, those twelve people heard the testimony. The evidence is there and it tells the story in black and white much better than we can with words. They're going to find her guilty and she's going to pay for all that she brought down on everyone around her. Okay?"

Edward and I spent the last few days rehashing the trial, most of that time Edward spent reassuring me that it was an impossibility that the jury would come back with a verdict of anything other than guilty. And I believed that, I really did, but that didn't stop the doubt that would creep in every once in a while that this wasn't over. I couldn't shake the feeling that something would happen and it wouldn't all end today. I wasn't so much afraid the verdict would be not guilty as much as I was afraid they would come back with a hung jury and we would be going through this whole mess all over again.

I nodded my head, but Edward must have seen the doubt in my face because he quirked an eyebrow in question.

"Okay, okay, everything is going to be fine. They're going to find her guilty and she's going to go away for a really, really long time. And all of this is going to be over today. Happy?" I sighed in exasperation.

"Yep, exceptionally." Edward grinned and waggled his eyebrows.

"You're a goof sometimes, you know that?" I laughed and smacked his chest playfully. "Come on, we need to get going."

~*~

We all sat on the bench in the gallery in various states of unrest. I fidgeted nervously next to Edward with one hand gripping his thigh while he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, running a circuit from my upper arm, over my shoulder to my neck, and back with his hand. Alice was the standard live wire as Jasper relaxed next to her. His long legs were stretched out before him, arms thrown over the back of the bench seemingly completely unaffected by our surroundings, yet the tightness in his eyes and jaw, to those who knew him, were a give away to his uneasiness.

Even Emmett was more subdued today than he had been throughout the rest of the proceedings, and more than once while we were waiting for court to be called to order I noticed Rosalie lovingly rubbing his shoulder or placing her palm on his chest, leaning in to whisper something in his ear. For all the fussing and fighting that those two have done over the years, it was obvious how much they truly loved one another.

Carlisle, Esme, Renee, and Charlie occupied the bench just behind where we all sat. Like us, they were in their own varied states of apprehension. I glanced around the room, taking in the rest of those in attendance and caught sight of Tyler sitting in the back of the room. Though I had seen him at other times throughout the days of the trial, he pretty much steered clear of Edward and I, for which I was glad. Eleazar and Carmen sat just behind where Tanya was perched in all her glory beside her pitbull attorney.

"All rise," the bailiff called to the courtroom as Judge Juarez entered from her chambers.  
Judge Juarez called the court into session and my heart rate sped up as she instructed the bailiff to bring the jury in from the deliberation room. My heart slammed against my chest as the twelve people who held the answer to whether we could all finally put this behind us and move on filed into the jury box.

I felt Edward shift and his warm breath blow across my skin, causing me to shiver as he whispered in my ear.

"Bella, relax, take a deep breath," his deep dulcet tones calmed my ragged nerves and I did as he instructed. I took a deep breath, releasing it slowly before turning to look up at him.

Edward smiled, but so many emotions flashed behind his eyes as we stared at one another.

"It's okay. Even if this isn't the verdict we're looking for....we'll deal with it, whatever it is, we'll deal with it.....all of us. Okay?" Edward spoke where only I could hear him and pressed his forehead to mine.

"Okay," I murmured.

The shuffling sounds of the jury filled the courtroom as they each found the seat they had occupied for the duration of the proceedings. Edward pressed a kiss to my forehead before we each turned our attentions back to the courtroom and waited for the final verdict.

Judge Juarez addressed the courtroom, restating the case of The State of Texas versus Tanya Denali, naming the charges Tanya was charged with before turning to the jury.

"Madam Foreman, have you reached a verdict?"

"Yes, your honor, we have." She held out her hand which held the paper with their verdict written on it for the bailiff to collect and deliver to Judge Juarez.

"Bailiff?"

The burly man crossed the room from his post and took the verdict from the foreman to give to the judge.

"Bella, you're going to pass out if you don't quit holding your breath," Edward's velvet voice whispered. I could feel his smile against my ear and released the breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"Sorry," I breathed, and Edward kissed my temple with a low chuckle.

Judge Juarez took the small paper, scanned it quickly with no emotion or reaction whatsoever on her face, and passed it back to the bailiff to return to the foreman.

"If the defendant would please stand," Judge Juarez turned to Tanya and her attorney.

They both stood, and for the first time I saw a look of fear cross Tanya's face. Up to this point she was indignant, at best. So lost in the deluded world which she created in her own mind that it didn't seem she was even on the same planet as the rest of us, but now I saw the trembling in her body as she stood.

"Madam Foreman, if you would please read the verdict."

The woman saddled with the duty of being foreman cleared her throat and took a deep breath.

"In the case of The State of Texas versus Ms. Tanya Denali, on count one the jury finds the defendant," I felt my breath catch in my throat as the foreman paused and Rose grabbed my free hand as Edward held the other, "guilty." The courtroom erupted with applause and whistles from the people filling the gallery around us.

"Order! Order! Settle down or I'll clear this room." Judge Juarez rapped her gavel to get everyone's attention.

I had no doubt whatsoever that she would gladly clear us all out of here without a moments hesitation. The judge waited for everyone to quiet back down and take their seats before turning her attention back to the jury.

"Madam Foremen, please continue."

"On count two the jury finds the defendant guilty. On count three the jury finds the defendant guilty....." As each consecutive 'guilty' was read, Carmen's soft crying sounds increased and she leaned further into Eleazar's embrace. The relief that shot through me was tempered with a sadness for Tanya's parents.

I watched Tanya as she slowly took her seat as the jury foreman completed reading the verdict.

"Thank you, madam foreman. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. That completes your services for this case; you are free to go. The state of Texas thanks you for your time and service." Judge Juarez turned to look directly at Mr. Romanov and then Tanya before she dropped her gaze to look over what I assumed was a calendar on her desk.

"Sentencing will be set for two weeks from today. We will reconvene on that date at ten am." Judge Juarez raised her head to meet 's gaze.

"Bailiff, if you will take the prisoner into custody?"

Judge Juarez closed the proceedings with a final fall of her gavel and the bailiff made his way toward where Tanya sat behind the defense table.

I listened as Carmen's crying across the aisle became all out sobs when the bailiff reached Tanya and she stood. We watched as Tanya was handcuffed and led out of the courtroom. She never spoke a word or looked at her parents.

Regardless of what Tanya had done, her parents were hurting, they were essentially losing their child and for that I was sorry.

Our family as a group was overjoyed and more than anything it was a relief that it was finally over. Everyone was completely elated that we won, that what we all knew to be the truth was confirmed by the twelve people of the jury. Tanya was going away for a long time and we were free of all this craziness. It was exactly the outcome we all wanted.

I turned to hug Rosalie and Alice at the same time. I noticed Charlie and Carlisle make their way to shake the DA's hand, thanking him for a job well done. Renee and Esme embraced each other before they crossed to where Carmen and Eleazar sat. The three of them had been friends for many years and I knew it hurt Esme and Renee to see Carmen in pain like that.

I turned to look up at Edward and he smiled down at me as he pulled me into a tight hug.

"It's over. It's really over," I mumbled into his chest.

"Yeah, it is," Edward whispered into my hair as he kissed the top of my head.

I heard JJ as he called for our attention and began explaining what we would need to do regarding the media storm that surely awaited us outside the courthouse doors. JJ's office had prepared an official statement for the press, but he felt that as a group we should all be with him when he read it to the reporters.

"I don't want any of you to answer any questions. Everything they need to know is in this statement. I think it will look better if each of you are standing there as the official and _only_ statement is read. So...are you all ready to finish this puppy?" JJ smiled and turned to lead us out of the courtroom.

The reporters were ready and waiting as we exited. The flash from the cameras were blinding and the din of noise from all of them speaking at once was overwhelming to say the least. No matter how many times we had fought our way through them, or I promised myself that I wouldn't let them get to me, this was just indescribable. The reporters circled us as we took our places behind JJ and he tried his best to get their attention so he could read our statement.

"The Swans and the Cullens have a prepared statement regarding the ending of this long journey and the verdict today. I will be reading that to you now. The Swans nor Cullens will be answering any questions as any and all information relevant to today's verdict is contained in this statement." JJ cleared his throat before he began to read from the statement he held in his hands.

"Today's verdict is the ending of a long journey in trying to find the truth and bringing the person's responsible for the death of our animals to justice. While the monetary aspect of the loss we sustained was immense, far greater has been the emotional and personal loss of animals that were much more than a means to an end within our business. These animals were living, breathing creatures which deserved much better than they received at the hands of those who sought to harm them for their own personal gain.

"The verdict today is a vindication and a completion of the justice our families were confident we would find. The members of the jury took the evidence presented and found the only option which was satisfactory for our family as a whole in returning a guilty verdict for Ms. Denali. Given the circumstances of what transpired, the jury's finding Ms. Denali guilty is cause for our family's celebration. The elation of our families victory is tempered by that of Ms. Denali's family's suffering, and we wish to extend our thoughts to them in this time of sadness."

JJ completed reading the statement and the reporters immediately started in with one question after another. JJ reminded them that no member of the family would be answering questions and began to lead us through the horde.

I felt Edward's arm slip around my waist as we made our way down the steps just behind Rosalie and Emmett, while Alice and Jasper were just to our left, with Charlie, Renee, Carlisle, and Esme following just behind JJ as we reached the sidewalk.

Something caught the attention of the reporters then as they turned back to the courthouse, finally freeing us from their grasp. I looked over my shoulder just as Mr. Romanov stepped through the doors, followed closely by Carmen and Eleazar. Carmen looked as though she was still crying, but much calmer than she had been inside the courtroom.

"You alright?" Edward's voice was low as we all split up to make our way to our respective cars.

I looked up to see the concern on his face, evident in the furrow of his brow, and the little lines at the corners of his eyes deepened slightly as he stared at me, obviously trying to read my reactions to the events of today.

"I'm fine, Edward. Really, it's been rough on all of us, but I'm fine. I'm just glad this is all over. Are you okay?" I smiled, placing my hands on his chest and smoothing the lapels on his jacket.

I watched the lines of his forehead smooth as he obviously found the truth of what I said in my face.

Edward pressed his lips to my forehead and smiled against my skin.

"I'm perfect, darlin', absolutely perfect." Edward pulled back to look at me once again with a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. "You ready to blow this pop stand?"

I snorted a laugh, shaking my head as Edward opened my door.

"What?" Edward smiled as he slid into the driver's seat.

"Nothing," I said, returning his smile as I leaned across the console to bring my lips to his in a quick kiss. "I just love you and I'm happy. I don't think that I have been this happy in a really long time, and I'm just glad this is all over."

Edward reached up to brush a stray hair away from my face; the gentle brushing of his fingertips on my skin caused the butterflies in my stomach to flutter uncontrollably and my heart to race immediately. It was sometimes strange to me that Edward was still able to turn me into that same teenager who was completely infatuated with him so long ago with nothing more than a simple touch.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward smirked as he rested his hand at the base of my neck, his thumb softly moving over the skin below my ear.

I smiled and closed my eyes for just a moment.

"About you," I sighed as he continued to caress my neck and I leaned into his touch.

"Let's go home, sweet girl," Edward whispered against my lips as he kissed me slowly, gently, almost reverently.

* * *

**So there it is. Hope the verdict is what you were all looking for, cause surely no one thought Tanya would get away with what she did. Right? =) And again I have to say that I am taking poetic license with the court proceedings but trying to stay true to this version of reality. Mels78 thank you for your kind words about the legal stuff in your review for the last chapter. **

**Thank you to you all who are reading, whether you're reviewing or not, thank you for following along with me in this journey. Have a great day ya'll!! =)  
**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended. The plot and ideas in this fic are the property of the author. **

**First as always a great big thank you to my fantastic beta, Jessica1971, she's beyond awesome. **

**So this chapter is a bit late, RL has been a bit out of control for both Jessica and I. If you guys would keep Jessica's puppy in your thoughts he's having some pretty serious health issues right now and so just keep her and Smokey in your thoughts. =)**

**Sorry for this long A/N but I have one more matter of business to attend to....for any of you who haven't heard MsKathy has a drive going to raise money for helping Haitian relief after the horrible earthquakes that have rocked that country and its people. So if you have heard and already donated THANK YOU. If not you still have until January 24th to make your donation. Go to 's blog for further details at http://mskathyff(dot)blogspot(dot)com For a $5 donation you will receive a file that will contain one-shot stories from over 200 authors, including yours truly. I'm submitting a one-shot outtake from MMB that will not be available otherwise until much later. So if you'd like to help out head to 's blog, if you've already donated Thanks again!!**

**Now on to the reading....**

* * *

Chapter 27

Understandings....

BPOV

The last two weeks were a bit of a readjustment for all of us, to say the very least. We were hopeful that after such a long journey, with Tanya being found guilty and today's sentencing, we could get back to just living our lives without the craziness and stress which encompassed everything that surrounded us during the trial. The press had hounded us for the first week after the trial and then it tapered off somewhat, but had picked back up the last few days prior to the sentencing.

My heart broke for both Carmen and Eleazar when the sentence was handed down. Tanya would be spending the next three years in prison with the remainder of her eight year sentence to be served on probation. At the end of her prison term, during her probation, she would be doing volunteer work with the local Equine rescue association. The charges against Tanya carried up to a ten year sentence each, so all in all she got off with much less time in prison than it could have been. That didn't ease the pain for Carmen and Eleazar. I had no doubt that seeing Tanya in a prison uniform was more than a bit traumatizing for her mother.

Edward and I spoke with them both shortly after Tanya was led out of the courtroom and the proceedings were adjourned. We wanted to let them know face to face, not what they could read in the papers from our family statement, how sorry we were for what they were going through. We could only hope they understood our need to see this case brought to justice. The Denali's were a part of our family in many ways and, if anything, Tanya's actions hurt more because she had been a _friend_ to all of us at one time, though in my case that term was a loose interpretation.

Tanya was going to pay for her crime, but that didn't mean our families couldn't rebuild what had once been a good relationship. After Tyler and Tanya's affair was discovered, things just had not been the same. My family and the Denalis had been cordial, but things were strained. I knew much of that was due to Carmen and Elezar's embarrassment and their desire to support Tanya. I understood that and I knew my parents did as well, but now I could only hope that they would realize it was time to let that friendship heal.

JJ read our statement to the press, reiterating many of the points made at the end of the trial about how satisfied we were with the outcome as well as the sentence handed down. That while our hearts went out to Tanya's family, we felt the sentence was appropriate for the crime committed against us, our animals, and our respective businesses. Edward and I left the courthouse hand in hand, following the rest of our family as we had throughout the duration of the trial.

"I feel really bad for Carmen and Eleazar," I said as Edward slid behind the wheel.

"I know, baby. Me, too......Carmen was completely devastated. I think it must be really hard for both of them. How do you even wrap your head around your child going to prison?"

Edward shook his head with a somber expression.

"I'm just glad it's _really_ all over with now, and we can start concentrating on getting back on track with everything." Turning my head to look out the window, I smiled when I felt Edward's hand slide into mine.

I turned to look into his eyes as he brushed his lips over my knuckles. He looked up at me with a gentle smile on his face.

"I'm looking forward to concentrating on you," Edward's eyes flashed, instantly darkening, and I felt my body ignite like the spark from a live-wire at the suggestion in his words.

~*~

Edward and I decided on the way home from the sentencing that we really wanted nothing more than a quiet night at home, just the two of us. So while Edward took a shower, I changed into some yoga pants and a tank top before whipping up some tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches.

I was just pouring the soup into bowls when I felt Edward's arms wrap around my waist. A heavy sigh of contentment left me as I leaned back into his body; there truly was nowhere on Earth I wanted to be more than wrapped up in this man's arms.

"Hey, you," I turned my head to smile at him before placing a kiss on his cheek. "I was just about to call for you. Dinner's ready."

Edward dipped his head and brushed his lips along the exposed skin of my shoulder, tightening his arms around my waist and pulling me further into his hard body. I giggled as his still damp hair tickled my face and neck.

"Ya know, having a woman giggle when you're working on seducing her is really bad for the ego." Edward's voice had dropped an octave as he whispered into my ear.

"Is that so?"

"Mmhmm."

Edward nuzzled the side of my head as his hands began to slide over my abdomen and up my sides before making their way to rest on my hips. He pulled my body more fully into his. There was no denying what he had on his mind when I felt his erection pressed against my behind.

"Mm....well, ego has never been an issue for you, mister. Yours is more than fully intact."

I pressed back into his groin, receiving a very satisfying moan from Edward before I pulled out of his arms and grabbed both our plates.

"Do you mind grabbing those tray thingies so we can eat on the sofa?" I grinned knowingly over my shoulder as I made my way to the sofa.

"Evil. She's an evil woman," I heard Edward muttering as he followed me out of the kitchen.

I giggled at his dramatics, which gained a growl from Edward, and I full out laughed as I rounded the sofa.

Usually we only ate in the kitchen or dining room, but tonight we wanted to relax and watch a movie.

"What movies did you say were in the queue for tonight?" I asked, placing our food on the trays before settling myself in my favorite spot.

"Um..." Edward grabbed the remote and scrolled through the movie list from the on-demand pay per view channel, calling out the names of the ones that looked interesting.

"Hm...okay, well I won't make you sit through the chick flick...Oh! Wait, that one, the enemies something or other, isn't that the one with Johnny Depp and Christian Bale?"

Edward nodded his head and hummed around a bite of his grilled cheese sandwich.

"Ooo...let's watch that one."

I smiled as Edward scowled at me playfully.

"You don't even know what that one's about, do you?"

"Nope and I really don't care. It's got Johhny Depp _and _Christian Bale in it, what more do I need to know?"

I laughed when Edward huffed an annoyed breath as he ordered up the movie.

"Oh, come on, I said not one word when you made me sit through that robot, alien whatever movie the other night just so you could drool over that chick, what's her name?" I laughed, punching him in the shoulder.

"Ow! Hey, you said you liked that movie!" Edward defended as he rubbed his arm in mock injury.

"Yeah," I snorted. "I'll admit it was good, but don't even try to make out like you weren't much more about the chick in all her hotness than you were about the plot of the movie."

Edward smiled and leaned over to press a kiss to my cheek.

"You know you're the only woman that makes my mouth water, darlin'."

I felt my body flush as he succeeded in rendering me completely speechless yet again, and I could only stare at him dumbstruck for several seconds.

"Jerk," I said under my breath as he chuckled, pulling away and knowing full well what he did to me.

Finishing up our dinner just as the opening credits were done, I grabbed our plates and quickly put them in the sink before snuggling against Edward's side, preparing to watch hot and hotter on the TV screen.

~*~

"Okay, you have to admit that was a really good movie, Edward," I called as I ran a brush through the tangled mess of my hair before throwing it up in a messy bun and turning to walk out of the bathroom.

Edward was bent over turning the bed down and my breath caught at the sight of his strong back as I stepped into the bedroom, the muscles stretching and flexing under the lightly tanned skin. His black pajama pants were slung low on his narrow hips, allowing me to get a delicious view of the dimples on his lower back.

_God, he's a beautiful man. _

I crossed the room and snaked my arms around him, splaying my hands across his chest as I pressed a kiss between his shoulders. Our height difference made it nearly impossible for me to reach any higher when we were standing, even on tip toe.

Edward's arms dropped to his side and I felt more than heard the moan roll from his chest. I pressed myself fully into him. With one hand at the center of his chest, I allowed the other to begin roaming his body, slowly making my way down over his abdomen. I hummed in satisfaction as I felt his muscles contracting under my fingertips.

"I want you," I breathed against his skin as I ran a single finger along the waistband of his pajama pants.

"Oh, God, Bella....." Edward's head dropped back on his shoulders and he released a guttural groan as I palmed his erection through his pajama pants and ground my hips into him.

I hooked my thumbs in the waist of his pants and slowly began sliding them down over his hips and off his body. As Edward stepped out of them, he turned and grasped my hips, attempting to pull me into him, but I placed a hand on his chest to stop him.

"Uh uh," I shook my head, looking up into his eyes.

He looked at me with a confused expression on his face. I only smiled before instructing him to lie down on the bed, to which he immediately complied with a wicked grin on his face.

I crossed the room to the dresser and scrolled through the songs on my iPod, looking for the perfect song for what I was about to do. My heart was pounding out a rapid fire pace as I contemplated whether I could really pull this off or not, and thanking the stars that I had decided to change into the new set of pajamas I bought a few days ago. It was nothing more than a button up silk nightshirt with a pair of matching boy shorts, but it would at least allow for me to tease Edward a little before giving him the full show.

Once I found the song I was looking for, I waited with my back to Edward. As the music began to fill the room, I bent my knees slightly and started to sway my hips to the beat, struggling with myself to not turn toward where Edward lay on our bed.

Letting the music carry my movements, I slowly began unbuttoning the first few buttons of my top, rolling my shoulders seductively and allowing it to slide down my back, exposing the tops of my shoulders. I could hear the sheets of the bed rustle as Edward shifted where he lay. I could feel his gaze burning into my skin, and I knew if I turned to him I would see the fire blazing in his eyes.

I ran my hands slowly up my sides, grazing the outside of my breasts with the back of my fingers before raising my arms over my head. Slowly bringing my hands back down, I placed them on the dresser, sliding them over the smooth wood as I rolled my hips and dropped low to the floor. I slid my hands down my body until they came to rest on my knees with my legs spread wide. I slowly rose to a standing position, sticking my ass out on the way back up. I grinned to myself when I heard Edward's sharp intake of breath, as I'm sure he got a peek of the lacy boy shorts under my nightshirt.

"Bella..." Edward's voice was rough as he called my name, and his need for me was evident in that one word.

Thinking I had Edward right where I wanted him, I slowly turned. But what greeted me took my breath away and I froze where I stood.

Edward lay on the bed, his eyes hooded with desire, slowly stroking himself as he watched my little performance. I didn't know what I was expecting when I turned to him, but it certainly wasn't _that_.

I was suddenly overcome with a need to be the one doing that for him. I made my way to the bed and crawled up his body, all thoughts of the attempted striptease completely forgotten as my need to feel him, to touch him, to have him touch me, obliterated any thoughts of playing I might have entertained a few moments ago.

"You are so sexy," he said softly, releasing a groan as my hand took the place of his.

I tightened my grip around him and bent to place a kiss just below his navel.

"I want you, Edward."

The whispered words against his skin were hardly out of my mouth before I was on my back and Edward was hovering over me. His hands made quick work of the last few buttons of my nightshirt and his lips crashed into mine. I heard the ripping of fabric as my boyshorts fell from my body.

There was no reason for foreplay as I was more than ready for him, and the sensation of completeness I felt as Edward thrust into me was indescribable. It was exactly the same each time we were together, and I knew there was no way it would ever get old. I would always feel this way when he was loving me.

"Oh, God, Bella.....you feel so good......do you know how much I love you?" Edward's voice in my ear and hot breath on my skin sent a chill racing down my spine as he moved inside me.

"Unnn....oh.....I....I love you, so much....Edward."

Edward brushed his lips along the shell of my ear before raking his teeth over the lobe and down to that spot just below my jaw. I could feel my body coiling, racing toward the release it so very much needed.

Entwining my legs with Edward's and pulling him further into me, his rhythm sped and I drug my nails up his back until I could thread my fingers in his silky hair. Edward groaned into my neck and kissed his way to my collarbone, where he sucked at the flesh and pressed his teeth into the juncture of my shoulder and neck.

"Oh! Edward...oh, God."

Edward dipped his head lower to take one of my nipples between his lips, sucking it gently into his mouth. His movements with his mouth were in complete contrast to the way he was working the other parts of my body. Sliding a hand up my side, he palmed my breast before rolling the nipple between his finger and thumb. I arched my back into his touch as I tightened my grip in his hair, holding him to me as he continued to suckle one breast and tease the other with his nimble fingers.

Moving the hand he cupped my breast with, he slid it slowly, tantalizingly over my ribs to my hip as he continued to tease me with his mouth and move in and out of me with a force that took my breath away from the intensity of the pleasure building in my body. He squeezed my hip momentarily, his fingers biting into my flesh as he groaned around the nipple he held between his teeth.

His hand was once again on the move, skimming lightly down my thigh, inching his way to finally curl his long fingers under my knee, hitching my leg over his hip. His lips found mine once again in a searing kiss. I gasped into his mouth as the new position allowed him to reach that special place inside me. The coil in my abdomen sprung as he thrust into me and I was sent flying over the edge, crying out as the orgasm ripped through my body.

"Ahhh...Bella," Edward ground out as he pumped into me quicker, the intensity of his own building orgasm overtaking him.

Edward called my name over and over as his body went rigid and I felt him finally reach his release. Edward's ragged breath washed across my face and his eyes closed as he pressed his forehead to mine. Our lips barely touching, we lay wrapped in one another while our bodies tried to calm from the euphoria we found.

"I love you."

I watched the smile spread across his face as he took in my words.

"As I love you," he said as he kissed me tenderly before rolling to his side.

I tried unsuccessfully to choke back the whimper that escaped me as he pulled out of my body, and I felt the familiar emptiness of the loss return.

Edward wrapped his arms around me and pulled me flush with his body, staring into my eyes before he kissed my forehead. I snuggled into his chest as he rested his cheek against the top of my head. Edward trailed a finger lightly up and down my spine and I felt my body relaxing, the steady rhythm of his breathing was like a sweet lullaby as sleep claimed me.

_The bright fluorescent lighting made my eyes burn as they fluttered open. My vision was blurry and tight, almost like tunnel vision, as I tried to focus on my surroundings. I could tell the walls were covered in a soft green paint. There was soothing happy artwork hung throughout the room. Turning my head, I saw an empty leather chair in the corner near a large picture window. There was movement in the room and I could hear an unfamiliar voice, but it sounded far away, along with a faint beeping from somewhere within the room._

_  
The face of a woman with a shock of long black hair entered my field of vision and I blinked several times__, trying to focus on the details of her features._

_"Hey there, glad to see you finally coming around," she said, her voice friendly and matching the wide smile on her face, her expressive almond shaped eyes crinkling slightly._  
_  
I tried to speak, but my throat was incredibly dry and all that came out was a high pitched squeaking noise._

_"Oh, hold on there, honey. The intubation tube makes your throat scratchy." The face of the lovely woman was gone and back almost instantly._

_"Here, sweetie, drink a little bit of this. It'll help." I couldn't really place the woman's accent, but it sounded like maybe Brazilian._

_I tried to smile, but it came out much more a grimace as she held the end of a bendy straw to my lips and I took a small sip of water._

_"What...." I cleared my throat and winced. "What happened? Where am I?" I said in a voice I didn't recognize as my own._

_"You're in the hospital, honey. You're gonna be just fine." She smiled and patted my shoulder comfortingly, but there was a reservation in her eyes, almost a look of sadness or maybe.....pity._

_"You relax and I'll let your family know that you're awake, okay?" She squeezed my leg lightly as she moved around the end of the bed and made her way toward the door._

_My brain felt foggy and my body was heavy with fatigue as I lay my head back against the pillow. The last thing I remembered was being at the Cullen Ranch, talking with Jasper about some new fillies they just got in, and then...._

_"Oh God! Oh God! Where's my baby?! Where's my-"_

"Bella! Bella!" Edward's voice came to me as if it were far away, the alarm and concern straining his dulcet tone.

My own voice screaming was loudest in my ears as the fog cleared and awareness dawned that it was a dream - a dream that took me back to one of the darkest days of my life.

The pain I felt that day ripped through my heart anew as Edward's arms wrapped around me, crushing me to his body. The tears were flowing in an unheeded torrent and I could hardly catch my breath as I buried my face in Edward's chest. The sobs ripped from my throat and my entire body shook with the intensity of the emotions as if it were happening all over again.

"Oh, God," I said, whimpering as the images flashed behind my closed lids.

"Bella, shhh.....baby, it's okay......shhh. I'm right here."

Edward sat up, pulling me into his lap. I could feel his hands as they ran from the crown of my head to the base of my spine, completing an entire circuit before starting over again. He rocked back and forth, holding me as if I were a small child.

"It was just a dream, baby. Shhh...."

I sucked in great gulps of air, filled with the scent of soap and mixed with the faint scent Edward's cologne and just....._Edward_, as I tried to shake the images from my mind.

"I'm sorry," I said, choking on another sob.

"Honey, what are you apologizing for?" Edward pulled back to look at me, the confusion mixed with concern plain on his face. "Are you apologizing for having a nightmare? Really, Bella?"

"I...." I nodded my head and sniffled and I looked into his eyes.

I really wasn't sure if that was what I was apologizing for or if it was even actually Edward I was apologizing to. At that very moment, it felt like the apology was meant for Carlie, but I didn't know how to put that into words, so I said nothing, letting Edward believe it was for the nightmare.

"Bella......baby, you don't need to be apologizing for a nightmare; you scared the hell out of me, but you shouldn't be sorry." Edward shook his head as he hugged me to him once again. "Silly woman."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Edward asked, his voice soft as he stroked my cheeks with his thumb, gently wiping away my tears and holding my face to his chest as his other arm wrapped tightly around my waist.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes before nodding my head.

"I....I had nightmares for a long time after I lost..."

I sniffled and wiped at the corner of my eye with the side of my hand, my voice catching.

"I had nightmares for months after I lost Carlie. It was always the same one....always the moment I woke up after surgery and realized that...." my voice broke as I struggled with my tenuous hold on the tiny bit of composure I had gained. "That the baby was gone."

As soon as those words left my lips, my whole body shook with the images of that horrible day flashing through my mind. Edward held me and my heart broke all over again.

Edward leaned back against the headboard, pulling me tighter into his body as I curled into his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist. His warm skin against my body comforted me, grounding me and reminding me that _this_ moment was real, that the nightmare was a memory and not happening in the present.

The fact that no one _truly_ knew about my nightmares until this moment struck me as Edward held me in his arms. Tyler and I had been so estranged after what happened with his disappearing act the day everything happened, I just never told him what the dreams were about. He tried to comfort me when I would wake up screaming in the middle of the night and I eventually would drift back to sleep, but we never talked about it. I guess that pretty much summed up the whole of our marriage - we never talked to one another, about anything. If we had, we might have figured out a long time before everything went to hell in a hand basket that things weren't right between us.

"It's really the only thing I remember.....I know they had to sedate me at that point because I was screaming so much that they were afraid I was going to tear my incisions. I was pretty much in and out for several days. I guess that's why I don't have much of a memory of what they told me, except that Carlie was gone and they had to do surgery."

"And that's what your dream was just now?"

Edward's rubbed my back over and over, soothing and relaxing my tense muscles. I could feel his hot breath on the top of my head as he pressed a kiss to my hair. I sighed a heavy breath and nodded as I answered his question.

"Yeah.....I haven't had one of those dreams in a long time. I....I don't know why I had that one just now."

"Bella....I...." I felt Edward take a deep breath and he shifted my position on his body slightly, stalling as though he were trying to figure out what he wanted to say.

I pulled back enough to look up into his face. I could see the questions running through his mind and the concern in his eyes as he met my gaze.

"Whatever it is, Edward, just say it," I said as I reached up to cup his face with my hand.

He turned his head, kissing the palm of my hand, and released a heavy breath as he turned back to look at me.

"Bella, do you think that maybe Rose and Em finding out the baby is a girl has anything to do with triggering your nightmare?"

I stared at him wide eyed with my mouth agape for several seconds. I didn't know what to say. I didn't _want _to think that something our family was so excited about would have triggered the return of my nightmares. But could it.....

Rosalie and Emmett's new addition would be joining us just before Thanksgiving; they found out a couple days before the sentencing that the baby was a little girl. Garrett would be having a baby sister, and I had no doubts that he would be a whole lot like his daddy, completely over the top protective of her.

Edward and Jasper weren't helping matters with all the teasing they had heaped on Emmett the past few days about what would happen when his little girl was old enough to start dating. As overprotective as Emmett was of me, I could only imagine how it would be for his daughter one day; Rosalie would have her hands full keeping him and Garrett reined in.

"God, Edward, that sounds so......I'm having nightmares again about losing _my_ baby because my brother and his wife find out they're having a little girl?"

I shook my head in disbelief. I didn't want to think that it was possible, that something which brought such joy could be causing my subconscious to revert to those awful memories.

"Bella, you haven't slept well since they announced the news. Honestly, baby, you haven't slept well since we……redecorated. So maybe it's a combination of those things triggering the nightmares?"

I thought about what he was saying before forming any type of an answer, and sadly the answer I kept coming up with pointed to the fact he was right.

"Honestly.....I suppose you're right, and it has a lot to do with it. I hadn't really thought about it in that way."

"Bella, that time in your life was really traumatic....I just think it's not a huge leap to draw the connection of Rose having a little girl, the changes we've made to the house, and the return of your nightmares."

I didn't know how to respond to that. It made sense when Edward spelled it out like that; I just wasn't sure how to feel about the truth that rang through his words.

"I guess exorcising ghosts has a way of doing that to a person, huh?" I asked, my voice weak as I thought about all that he said.

Edward pressed his lips to my forehead and lingered there for a long moment. I scooted off his lap to lay tucked tightly under his arm, as close to him as I could possibly get. We lay wrapped in each others arms, lost in our own thoughts for a long time.

"Bella?" Edward asked, breaking the silence between us.

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something about....I want to ask you...." Edward shifted uncomfortably on the bed.

"What?" I asked, propping my chin on his chest so I could look into his emerald eyes.

Edward smiled as he stroked the sides of my face from my hair line to chin with the tips of his fingers.

"I know we haven't really talked about this, but I wanted to.......maybe now that the trial is over......do you think we could go talk with your doctor about what our options are in the future? And if there aren't any, then we'll look into adopting at some point. But I want _you_ to know what options are available when that time comes for us. I want you to have every opportunity, Bella."

Edward gently caressed my jaw with his thumb as he slid his hand into the hair just behind my ear. I felt a tear slip from the corner of my eye and tried unsuccessfully to gain some control before I became a blubbering mess again. My breath was coming in short pants and my heart slammed against my chest almost painfully as I tried to understand how I could have gotten so lucky to have this man in my life once again.

"I'm here, baby, whether we ever have a child or not." As I stared into Edward's eyes, I could see his own tears shining there, his voice thick with emotion. "But, Bella, I just feel that if we don't talk to those who have answers to our questions......well, we won't ever know what _is_ possible. And honestly, I couldn't live with myself if I let any opportunity slip through our fingers simply because we didn't look into every avenue, and because I didn't press the issue with you.

"If I let you miss the possibility of filling a little piece of that hole in your heart, I would never forgive myself, Bella. I can't fill that hole, baby, I can't ever fill that no matter how much I want to; I can't do it just by loving you. If that were all it took, well," Edward smiled, leaning down to brush his lips across mine in a tender kiss, "your heart would be overflowing. The only way I can fill it is by giving you every opportunity to have what you think you lost with Carlie."

I knew in that moment, in ways I had never known before, that there surely must be a God. There was no other explanation for why this man existed. No other reason made sense for why he was placed in my life.

"Edward," his name fell from my lips in a breath as the emotion coursing through my body threatened to completely overwhelm me.

There were just no words I could use to express how much his words meant to me, but also how much of my heart he truly healed with the mere thought that he wanted to find out more about what happened and that he wanted to have children with me one day.

"Shhhh.......just think about it, baby. We don't have to talk anymore about it tonight. I just needed to tell you what I've been thinking for a while. Sleep now, sweet girl, and we can talk more about this later."

Edward scooted further down into the bed, never releasing his hold on me as we snuggled under the blankets. I released a heavy breath I didn't realize I was holding as I thought about all the things said between us tonight. Drifting into the comforting release of sleep, I knew what I needed to do. I had a phone call to make.

~*~

EPOV

I lay awake after Bella drifted off to sleep, unable to shut my mind down after the things I found out tonight. I was still shaken from what Bella revealed to me. It wasn't as if I had been unaware that losing Carlie had traumatized Bella.

I knew it had been difficult for her to make the suggestion to change Carlie's room into a music room; it was more than obvious, but I had no idea of the true magnitude before tonight. Even when she tried to push me away earlier in the summer I didn't truly understand, though at the time I thought I did.

Even still, there was no way I could let the opportunity slip through my fingers to push her on talking with her doctor. I wanted to explore the possibilities of having children one day, that desire was more than I could control after watching her scream for her baby. Then listening to her retell what she remembered clearly from that day, I decided to bite the bullet and just do it.

I have to admit the conversation went a lot better than I expected....actually, I didn't know what to expect, so any reaction from her would have been different from what I thought would happen. Knowing that this conversation wasn't over and that it wasn't the only subject I wanted to discuss with her about our future made my stomach twist uncomfortably. I could only hope the fact that Bella was open to finding out what lay down the road for us as parents meant she would also be willing to consider becoming my wife first.

The thought that we hadn't been back together very long made me apprehensive about whether it would seem too soon to her for a proposal. The fact that we were discussing having children, even though obviously she wanted that with me but it was something in the distant future, didn't mean she would have the same mindset on the idea of getting married. I needed her to be my wife much more than I could even admit to myself. The only problem......I wasn't sure what her feelings were on that subject.

The words were on the tip of my tongue almost daily over the last few weeks; I wasn't sure of what her answer would be. Or more to the point, I was unsure that she would be ready for marriage again, now or ever, and that scared the hell out of me.

As I drifted into a fitful sleep holding her in my arms, I knew we would need to talk about where we were headed in our relationship. I prayed we were on the same page, because I didn't know what I would do if she told me she didn't want to get married again. I knew I would stay, there was no way I would walk away from her ever again, but I wanted more.

~*~

I woke the next morning to the smell of frying bacon and fresh coffee. I smiled knowing Bella was cooking and grabbed her pillow, taking a deep breath of her lingering scent before rolling over to check the time. I groaned realizing that she had probably been up for a while.

Even though Bella was _not_ a morning person, she was up and at the barn before the sun broke the horizon most days. So I knew that by this time of the morning she had probably already been out to the ranch to do her morning check in and was back without ever waking me.

Throwing the covers off, I sat up and scrubbed a hand over my face, trying to wake up more fully. I crossed the room to grab a pair of boxers and pajama bottoms before padding down the hall into the kitchen.

Bella was there standing over the stove, her back to me. I stopped in the doorway to take her in before closing the distance between us to wrap my arms around her and kiss her cheek.

"Good morning, my love."

"Mmmm, good morning, sleepy head," she said leaning into me laughing. "There's coffee and breakfast is just about ready."

"Why didn't you wake me up before you left?" I asked as I poured myself a cup of coffee. "I would have gone with you."

She plated the eggs before turning to look at me with a smile on her face.

"Because.......you looked so cute all curled up in the bed," her expression turned more serious before she continued. "I know you didn't sleep very much after...." she shrugged, turning as she placed the pan in the sink and trying to hide the emotion I saw flash across her face.

I sat my coffee cup down and crossed the small space, placing my hands on her shoulders and turning her to face me. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and pulled her into me. I felt her arms wrap around my waist as she leaned her forehead against my chest and she took a deep breath.

"I called the doctor this morning," she said, her words muffled.

I pulled back to find her eyes shining with unshed tears; I slid my hands up to frame her face and pressed my lips to hers in a chaste kiss.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said as she looked up at me with those big brown eyes, and my heart swelled with the love I felt for her. "I am actually more than okay. I'm glad we talked, that you _wanted_ to talk about it. I've......I never told anybody about the nightmares."

I was stunned by her admission. How could she have not told anyone about that? How could Tyler have not known? As much as it hurt me to think about him comforting her, or even being in the same room with her, he was her husband at one time, so he should have known what she went through. But knowing how very alone she felt in all of it broke my heart.

"What do you mean you never told anyone?" I asked.

"I.....I just never talked about it with anyone, I mean....Tyler was," she looked up at me with an apologetic look on her face and I nodded my head with a small smile on my face, trying to let her know it was okay to mention his name. "He was there, he knew I had nightmares. I just didn't talk to him about it, but he never asked or tried to talk about it, either. And I never mentioned it to anyone else. I just didn't want to deal with it....so I didn't, and then they finally stopped, until recently when they've started up again. Last night was the first full blown one I've had."

"Bella, did you ever think about going to counseling? I mean...when all that happened, did the doctor's not suggest it?"

I wasn't sure how she would take my asking about whether she ever saw a counselor. I didn't want her to think I thought she was crazy, but she had been through so much. I couldn't imagine that somewhere along the line someone had not suggested that it would be a good idea that she talk to someone.

"Yeah, I did for a little while," she shrugged as she pulled away, picking up our plates and placing them on the bar before perching herself on a stool. "The nightmares had stopped by that point, and then when everything fell apart with Tyler.....I just didn't want to talk about it, at all. So....I just stopped going."

I took the stool next to her, picking up my fork as I thought about her admission. Bella always was the queen of avoidance and it seemed that had not changed with age. But, in all honesty, was I any better?

I had spent the last several years completely avoiding everything and everybody that even reminded me of Bella, including my family. I shook my head and scoffed at the thought of how similar Bella and I truly were.

"What?" she asked with a timid smile.

"Nothing. I was just thinking that the two of us are more alike than is probably healthy for either one of us."

"How do you figure that?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow in question of my logic.

I reached over, taking her hand in mine and rubbing my thumb across her knuckles. I caught myself lingering over her ring finger a little longer than necessary before I looked into her eyes.

"Well, the way I see it, you've spent the last year plus some trying to avoid thinking about what happened between you and Tyler, or about losing Carlie. I spent the first few years of college burying myself in 'college life'," I winked at her as I dropped her hand and used air quotes to make my point, "so I didn't have to think about how much it hurt after we broke up. Then when I finally realized what the problem really was, that I needed you but I had waited too long....well, I spent the next couple of years avoiding everything and everybody that reminded me of you. So, I figure that if we are able to have a child.....the poor kid doesn't have a snowballs chance in hell of ever actually dealing with a situation."

Bella stared at me open mouthed for a moment before she burst into hysterical laughter. I couldn't help but join her, because even though I was serious, the sound of her laughing after the conversation we had made me happier than I can explain.

~*~

"Bella?" I called as I entered the house.

Bella had driven separately to the ranch this morning because she needed to leave early to meet up with Alice and Esme to finalize some plans for the baby shower they were having for Rosalie in a few weeks. I knew she was home because her car was parked in the drive.

I ran the things we talked about earlier in the day over and over in my mind all day, finally deciding that we needed to discuss where we were headed as a couple. I wanted to make it clear to her that I planned on making her my wife, and although the fact she obviously wanted to have children with me should have clued me into her feelings about our future together, it didn't.

Bella was unable to schedule an appointment with her doctor until the end of September so, we had a few weeks to get prepared for that visit and I felt in the mean time we could figure out our next steps together as a couple. I knew I was going to ask her to marry me in the very near future, but, honestly, I needed confirmation she was ready to take that leap.

"In here," she yelled, her disembodied voice came to me from the general area of our office and I followed it down the hall.

What greeted me when I entered the room stopped me in my tracks. There were swatches of fabric, boxes of plates and all kinds of baby themed decorations scattered from one side of the room to the other.

"What in the world happened in here?" I asked, laughing as she turned to look at me from where she sat cross legged on the floor.

"Ugh! Your sister is what happened in here," she said, throwing her hands in the air with an exasperated sigh.

"The little Texas Tornado strikes again, I see," I chuckled.

Bella scoffed as she stood and surveyed the destruction of the room.

"Yeah, it looks like the baby section of Party City threw up in here."

I smiled at her because she was right, but that was simply the by-product of planning any event with my sister. Even as a teenager she was hell on wheels when it came to putting together a party, and it only got worse when Esme made Alice her partner in the event planning business.

I crossed the room and placed my hands on Bella's shoulders, kneading the taut muscles and leaning in to bury my nose in her hair. I took a deep breath of her intoxicating scent and gathered up the courage to follow through on my plan before I lost what little nerve I had built up on the way home.

"Can we talk?" I murmured.

She turned to look at me with a concerned look on her face and nodded.

"Is.....is everything alright?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, baby, everything's fine. I....I just want to talk to you about something."

"Um...okay."

I took her hand and led her across the hall to our bedroom. Sitting down on the bed, I pulled her into my lap. She wrapped one arm across my shoulders and stared into my eyes, with more than a few questions flashing behind her own. She ran a hand through my hair. My eyes closed of their own accord, and if I could I would have purred at the sensation of her fingertips lightly scratching across my scalp.

"Are you sure everything is okay?" she asked.

I nodded my head and opened my eyes to look into hers. Reaching up to tuck a stray hair behind her ear, I smiled at her. There were no words to describe how truly beautiful she looked. I watched her eyes flutter closed as my fingers brushed over the delicate skin of her face. I cupped her cheek in my palm and she leaned into my touch, covering my hand with her own to hold it tighter to her face.

"Bella, I love you more than I even know how to put into words, and I hope I've made it pretty clear I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you, Bella, but-"

Her eyes flew open and her hand dropped to her side. She wore an unreadable look on her face and I began to panic slightly.

"But?" she asked cautiously.

"I'm not sure if that's what you want. I know we talked about having kids, but.....well, having a child together and being married aren't exactly mutually exclusive concepts. And I just-" my words were cut off when Bella jumped out of my lap and began pacing the room.

That wasn't exactly the reaction I was hoping for, and my chest tightened with anxiety as I watched her from where I sat.

"Are you asking me to marry you?" she asked.

"No!" I cringed as soon as the word left my mouth.

I could see the hurt on her face and her eyes fill with tears. I crossed the room to take her in my arms.

"I.....God, Bella, that's not what I meant. Just give me a second and let me explain what I was trying to say, okay?"

She didn't speak, only nodded her head. I felt her arms snake around my waist and her tiny fists twist in my shirt.

"What I was trying to say is that I know your first attempt at marriage didn't exactly turn out the way you planned, and though I want nothing more than to make you my wife one day, I need to know if that's what you truly want. I'll understand if its not, Bella, but I.....I need you to know that it _is_ what I want."

It seemed an eternity before I heard her sniffle and I felt the dampness from what I assumed were tears soak through my shirt. She pulled back to look up at me.

"Edward, when my marriage to Tyler ended, I honestly swore to myself that I would _never_ go down that road with anyone ever again."

I felt my heart fall into my stomach as her words hit me like a punch to the gut. It was no less than my worse nightmare, but also not less than what I expected after all that Tyler put her through. I had never hated Tyler more than that very moment.

I closed my eyes with a curt nod, knowing that I needed to compose myself before I could look at her again. Regardless of my assurance that I would understand, and although I truly did, it still hurt to hear her say she would never consider being my wife.

"Hey, look at me," I felt her hands frame my face and I took a deep breath before I opened my eyes. "I told myself I wouldn't ever try that again with anyone because I knew no one would ever be _you_, Edward. I knew that there would never be another marriage for me because I didn't think that _you_ would ever be in my life again. There was never anyone for me except you, Edward. And if you hadn't come back to me......well, I wouldn't have considered marrying again, ever." 

_Wait! She wants to marry me? She wants to be my wife?!_

I couldn't breathe for a moment as I soaked in the meaning of her words. But as they finally made sense to me and I realized what she was telling me, I lifted her into my arms and carried her to our bed. There were no more words spoken between us, they weren't needed as I made love to the woman that would become my wife.

~*~

The next couple of weeks were pretty much a blur as Bella and I settled into a routine of work, home, and spending time with our families. Bella was able to get back to a regular training schedule with Raven and Tig. She was more comfortable with where they would be physically going into the finals, which were coming up just before Halloween.

I was beginning to feel like I was finally finding my niche. It was an adjustment getting used to the differences between doing research in a lab for hours on end and actual practical hands on duties work. Working day in and day out with the mares that were either getting ready to foal or doing the collections for the specimens from the two stallions Bella and Em owned kept me more than busy. The collection and preparation of the semen to be frozen and shipped to clients all over the country who would be having the inseminations done by their own veterinarians was a job I did not relish.

In addition, there were ten mares which belonged to the ranch that would be foaling after the first of the year, along with a number of mares coming to the ranch from other farms for breeding beginning in February. The last few days had been filled with scheduling and deciding which mares needed to come when according to their cycle, along with keeping in mind the need to allow the stallions rest periods between breeding. We wouldn't be doing any collections for the inseminations during the time we were actually working with the traditional breeding. We needed to not lower the stallion's counts at all during that time, ensuring a better chance of impregnating the mares on site. As I looked over the final schedule to make sure we had all the bases covered, I checked my watch, making sure I wasn't running late for the appointment I made for today.

Bella's birthday was the following day and Charlie and Renee were supposed to be in later this afternoon for a family dinner to celebrate. I had made reservations at The Grey Moss Inn for the whole family. Of course Bella made me swear not to do anything outlandish and to keep Alice from going over the top with a party. She only wanted to have dinner with the family at her favorite restaurant and nothing more.

And even though she didn't want gifts, I had found the perfect silver charm bracelet. I knew she couldn't wear it every day, but I still thought it was something she would enjoy. It was simple yet elegant. The sales person at the jewelry store helped me pick out a couple of charms which reminded me of Bella; they were to be attached to the bracelet and I was to pick it up this afternoon. She assured me that Bella could bring it in at anytime and either exchange the ones we picked out or add others as she wanted.

I smiled to myself, knowing that Bella wanted to be my wife. I thought about the morning Bella and I discussed our mutual super powers at avoiding situations and I finally mustered up the courage to broach the subject of marriage with her. Though I hadn't asked Bella to marry me in so many words, I _had _talked with Esme about my plans to propose.

I closed up the computer and made my way out of the office to find Bella. When I found her in the arena working one of the younger colts, I made up an excuse that I needed to run some errands and would meet her at home later. I'm sure she figured I was picking up her birthday present and trying to be secretive about it. In all honesty, that was part of my plan, just not all of it.

~*~

I met Esme at the bank to take my mother's ring out of the safe deposit box. She and Carlisle had placed it there, along with several pieces belonging to my parents, after their bodies were recovered from the crash site.

It was hard looking over the small collection of things which once belonged to my mother and father. The people they were weren't held in those few pieces, but their ghost was firmly attached to them all the same. It struck me how very much I still missed them.

"Elizabeth would have been very proud for Bella to wear her ring, Edward." Esme smiled up at me as she touched my arm with a tender look in her eyes and a single tear slipped down her cheek. I knew how much Esme loved my mother and it was obvious that she missed her sister terribly, as well.

I nodded, too overcome with memories and a longing for my mother at the moment to speak as I looked back down at the ring I held in the palm of my hand.

I knew Esme was right; my mother would have loved Bella. She would have wanted me to give her the ring my father had given her. The one she wore every day of her life. I smiled at the memory of how my father had teased me as a boy after I would return from the summers spent with Esme and Carlisle at the ranch, saying all I could talk about for weeks was Bella.

I realized even then that I was head over heels for Bella. I said a silent prayer of thanks that I was given a second chance to keep her in my life forever.

I gave my thanks to Esme, kissing her cheek and hugging her outside the bank before we went out separate ways. Esme called out to remind me that she would see me later on for Bella's birthday dinner as I slid into my car and made my way to the jewelers. I planned to drop the ring off when I picked up Bella's birthday present.

The amount of damage done to the filigree from days in the water before my parents bodies were found, along with the years it sat in the safe deposit box, would require extensive repairs to bring it back to its original state. And after inspecting the ring, the jeweler informed me it would take much longer than I was expecting before the ring could be ready.

I didn't know when I would officially ask Bella to marry me; I only knew I wanted it to be perfect. I figured I could use the time between now and when the ring would be ready to come up with a plan and put it into action. With the time frame from the jeweler, I had at least until just before Christmas to figure out how and when I was going to propose.

I smiled as I slid behind the wheel, a plan beginning to formulate of the perfect setting for a proposal. Bella would be home by now and I decided I would put the first part of Operation Perfect Proposal into play as soon as I got there.

* * *

**Okay so there it is.....I hope you enjoyed. These two had some much needed discussions and a little lovin' too. ^_~ And we've got a proposal coming up, huh? **

**So I want to address something that many have asked me over the course of this story and I've mentioned it in replies to those questions but I'm going to answer it here so anyone who is asking the question but hasn't voiced it yet will know. I've been asked and informed several times as to what 'type' of hysterectomy Bella had and whether she had her ovaries removed. As you most all probably know IF Bella has her ovaries that would mean they would be able to have children. I can't answer that question without giving away the path the rest of the story will take. Thank you to all of you have asked and given me ideas on where to go in that direction. I greatly appreciate them, each one, and I have what will happen planned out. Trust me when I say that it will be answered and that loose end will be tied up. **

**Thank you all again so much for reading, reviewing, favorites and alerts on MMB. **

**xoxoxoxoxo**


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, no copyright infringement is intended. The plot and storyline of this story belongs to the author.**

**A/N: I know this chapter is a bit delayed and for that I apologize. I'm not going to bore you with the excuses, you all know how nuts RL can be. =) **

**Thanks as always for her magic, my beta is the bestest, Jessica1971. Seriously ya'll, I know I say this all the time but really she works hard making MMB a whole lot prettier and readable. ^_~**

**There's a little more at the bottom cause I know ya'll want to get to the reading....**

* * *

Chapter 28

Coming to terms....

EPOV

I felt my body tense and I gripped the wheel much tighter than necessary as I rounded the turn just before reaching our house. Recognizing Seth's car parked in _my _parking space, I tried to quell the rising anger boiling my blood.

Pulling into the drive behind Bella's Mustang, I put my car in park and took a deep breath as I cut the engine. Blowing it out slowly, I prepared myself for what awaited me inside our house.

The conversation Bella and I had about this very subject flashed through my mind; the words I spoke haunted me as I realized what would happen if I entered the house in my current state of mind.

I ran a hand through my hair, pulling at the ends in frustration. I promised Bella I would not be such an insufferable, jealous ass about their friendship and that I would try very hard to accept it. And at the very first chance to prove that to her, what do I do?

_You act like an insufferable, jealous ass! That's what._

I buried the heels of both hands in my eyes as it hit me like a Mack truck how completely ridiculous these feelings were. I was being _exactly_ what I had promised not to be, a controlling, jealous idiot, without a truly founded reason. Reacting to Bella and Seth's friendship with some testosterone filled territorial pissing match was just asking for Bella to kick my ass, seeing as she reacted so well to the last time I pulled that shit on her with the whole Tyler debacle.

No doubt, Tyler needed to have his ass kicked, if for nothing else but all the heartache he had heaped on Bella. But it satisfied me a little too much to see Tyler in the courtroom with a splinted nose and black eyes, for me to truly feel my actions that day were completely altruistic. I had to admit, if to no one other than myself, that it had as much to do with my desire to kick his ass on general principle as it did with protecting Bella's honor.

"Ahhh...." I groaned, running my hand through my hair yet again. I had to get control over myself before I went inside.

It didn't matter that Bella was unaware I was being a jealous ass, the fact remained that I was ready to storm in there and further prove that I not only could not keep a promise to her, but I also did not trust her to be alone with her friend. I really didn't know why I let Bella's relationship with Seth bother me, it just did.

Mustering up every ounce of self control I possessed, I stepped out of the car and made my way to the house.

As I stepped through the door, a scream, which I immediately recognized as Bella, made my heart stop. I rushed down the hall following the sound, skittering to a halt when I reached the entry of the kitchen and surveyed the scene.

Bella stood, hands frozen in mid-air, covered in a drink concoction. The blender sat open, the top lay several inches away, upside down. What wasn't covering Bella was splattered all over the counter. Bella's eyes were closed, her mouth agape in the silent remnants of her scream, as the semi-frozen drink mix dripped from her chin. Some of her hair which had fallen from her ponytail was matted and stuck to her face.

Seth and a very pretty brunette sat in seemingly stunned silence at the breakfast bar, staring open mouthed at Bella.

My brain registered the fact that I had forgotten Bella telling me about Seth meeting a girl and I suddenly felt worse for the jealousy that overtook me a few moments ago. I stood for a split second longer, soaking in the sight before me before the hilarity of the whole situation hit me and I burst out laughing. I braced myself on the door jamb as I doubled over with hysterical laughter; I laughed until tears were brimming in my eyes.

Seth and the girl, whose name I could not remember, turned on their stools to look directly at me, shocked I'm sure for a moment that I was even in the house. Then I could see them trying their best to cover their own laughter and avoid gaining Bella's wrath.

Had I been able to compose myself, I might have noticed Bella had begun stalking toward me with an evil glint in her eye and that sexy smirk. It always meant trouble for me, even when it was the enjoyable kind, but it was still trouble. As it was, she rounded the island and was half way across the room when I noticed her coming toward me.

"Bella…" I warned as I straightened, sobering instantly. "What are you doing, Bella?" I asked, my voice cracking more than it had since I was a teenager as I began backing away warily.

I made the mistake of looking away for a split second to see that Seth and his girl were now in complete hysterics. Before I could react, Bella took full advantage of my moment of distraction and launched herself at me, wrapping her legs around my waist. She buried her sticky fingers in my hair and rubbed her cheeks all over my face, covering me in almost as much of the goo as she was covered in.

The feel of her body pressed up against mine was not one I was going to waste, regardless of the circumstances, and I wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her to me.

"Argh! Bella, that shit's cold." I could hardly breathe from the laughter, even if she was making us both a sticky mess.

"Welcome home, lover boy," she whispered against the shell of my ear as she sucked the lobe between her lips, causing an electric shock to run down my spine and straight to my groin.

"You know you're playing with fire, baby," I said through gritted teeth and had to bite the inside of my cheek not to release an embarrassing moan, considering our present company.

Bella pulled back slightly, giggled, and looked into my eyes; hers were shining bright with mischief.

"I'm glad you're home, though." She smiled and kissed me quickly before dropping her legs from my waist.

I sucked in a sharp breath as she slid down my body. Her eyes shot to mine and we were instantly lost in one another once again, everyone else completely forgotten. I watched, mesmerized, as Bella leaned into my body. Unconsciously, I bent until her lips were mere millimeters from mine before a very loud, yet amused, throat was cleared.

Bella and I startled, pulling back from one another slightly before Bella giggled, burying her face in my chest and fisting her fingers in the front of my shirt, trying to cover the blush I knew was there.

"I forgot we had an audience," she whispered as she giggled again.

"Me, too," I said, pressing my nose into her hair and kissing the top of her head.

I hugged her tightly to me and felt a pang of guilt as I remembered my reactions before entering the house.

I looked up to meet Seth's eyes; he smiled knowingly and shook his head as he wrapped his arms around the pretty brunette who had stepped off her stool and was now standing between his legs, smiling.

"Sorry about that," I said, laughing lightly, as I released my hold on Bella and she turned to face our guests.

Bella grabbed my hand, pulling me back into the kitchen. I saw a moment of uncertainty flash behind Bella's eyes as she looked over her shoulder. That look confirmed what I already knew, she was worried about my reaction to Seth's unexpected visit and I felt my heart clench at the fact she had every reason to be concerned. I realized I had done nothing up to this point to prove to her I wouldn't be an ass, and in truth I had done everything to the contrary.

I smiled at Bella as she looked up to meet my gaze as we joined our guests. We had come a long way in our relationship, but there were areas I had not gained Bella's full trust, this being one of them, and I needed to begin earning that, starting right now.

"How's it going, Seth? Good to see you," I greeted and extended a hand to him.

"Good to see you, too, Edward." Seth stood and took my hand in a firm shake, smiling.

Bella beamed up at me as I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and she seemed to relax into my side with the realization that I wasn't going to go all caveman on her.

"Oh! Edward," Bella said, an embarrassed smile on her face, "I forgot to introduce you to Angela."

"Angela, this is my Edward," Bella placed a hand on my chest, smiling up at me, and my heart swelled at the tenderness in her eyes. I returned her smile before turning to shake hands with Angela . "Edward, this is Angela Webber. She and Seth came back home a little earlier than planned."

"It's very nice to meet you, Angela," I said and reached out to shake her hand.

"It's nice to meet you, too, Edward. Bella's told me a lot about you," Angela said with a shy smile and released my hand.

"Oh, really? Well, I hope it wasn't all bad," I said, winking at Bella.

"Well, I wouldn't say it was bad exactly….interesting might be a good way to describe it," Angela said with a wry smile, a teasing tone to her voice.

Bella's mouth fell open in shock as she looked from me to Angela, who now wore a definite mischievous grin on her face.

"I….Angela! Edward, I didn't…." Bella stammered.

Angela, Seth, and I burst out in another round of laughter at Bella's expense. I snaked my arms around Bella's waist, pulling her into me and laying my chin on her shoulder as I continued to chuckle. Bella's mouth snapped shut and she turned in my arms to glare at me.

"Just for that, mister," Bella poked a finger in my chest, "you can clean this mess up. I'm going to take a shower."

"Bella, I need a shower, too, thanks to you, ya know?" I said as she pulled out of my arms and made her way out of the room.

"Oh come on, beautiful, don't be like that. You know we're just kiddin'," Seth called just as Bella reached the door.

I noticed Angela stiffen infinitesimally; it seemed I wasn't the only one struggling a bit with Bella and Seth's friendship. I smiled in understanding at Angela as our eyes met, and she returned it with a small shoulder shrug.

Bella just threw a hand up, waving us off, never looking back as she made her way down the hall toward our bedroom.

Seth, Angela, and I looked at one another for a few moments before once again starting to laugh at the events of the last half hour.

"Here, Edward, show me where the cleaning supplies are and I'll clean this up while you go take a shower, too," Angela offered as she moved around the end of the island to grab the blender, filling it with water before dropping it in the sink.

"Angela, you really don't have to do that," I said as I went to retrieve the cleaning supplies from the laundry room.

"Oh, I don't mind at all, Bella was making the drinks for me when the blender decided to blow up, so it's just as much my responsibility to clean it up as anyone's."

"Well, I appreciate it all the same. Are you really sure?" I asked again, hesitant to leave Angela with the clean-up, though I really wanted to wash the sticky margarita mix out of my hair.

"Go on, Edward. I'll help Angela clean this up. Really, it's not a problem, man," Seth assured as he stood to round the island, grabbing the extra roll of paper towels and getting to work.

"Thanks guys. We'll be out in just a few," I said and clapped Seth on the shoulder as I passed.

I made my way down the hallway and could hear the shower running as I stepped into our room.

I stopped for only a second as I entered the steam filled bathroom, Bella's form was perfectly outlined and visible through the fog covered shower door. There were no words to describe how just the sight of her made my body ache in unholy ways, and I stripped down quickly.

I quietly slid the door open to step inside. Bella stood under the stream of water rinsing her hair. Her eyes were closed and she was softly humming a tune I had been playing around with on the piano the night before.

The piano I ordered when Bella and I first started the music room was finally delivered a couple days ago. Honestly, I believe Bella was as excited to have the piano here as I was. She had scheduled someone to come out the following day to tune the piano and begged me to play for her as soon as he left. The tune Bella hummed now was one of the melodies I was working on for a new song which had been bouncing around in my head. The urge to compose anything was not one I had felt for a very long time, so it surprised me to have that feeling again.

"OH!" Bella's eyes snapped open and she jumped in surprise when I slid my hands across her hips. "God, Edward, you scared the shit out of me," she scolded.

I dropped my head in mock reproach and looked at her through my lashes.

"I'm sorry, darlin'," I whispered as I pulled her to me.

Bella placed her hands flat on my chest as she leaned into my body and released a contented sigh, looking up to meet my eyes.

"I love you, Bella."

For whatever reason, in that moment, I felt compelled to tell her how I felt. I know I had said it countless times over the last few months, but with the events of today it seemed almost compulsory.

Bella smiled before saying, "I love you, too, Edward, more than I even know how to say."

I leaned down, brushing my lips across hers in a gentle kiss as Bella ran her hands up my chest to thread her fingers in my hair. Pressing my tongue against her lips, I deepened the kiss and wrapped my arms around her waist. My hands drifted down to cup her ass and pull her hips more fully into mine. My dick was pressed between us, and a moan rumbled deep in my chest as Bella rocked against me. I slid a hand down her thigh, hitching her leg over my hip, lifting her slightly and backing her into the tile wall of the shower. Bella tightened her grip on my hair and moaned into my mouth as she grazed her teeth over my bottom lip.

"Bella……baby, we need to stop," I pulled away, reluctantly. I couldn't take much more without burying myself inside her, and though I _really_ wanted to do nothing but that, I also felt it was just poor taste to have shower sex while Seth and Angela were in the kitchen cleaning up.

Bella's eyes opened slowly and for a split second I saw disappointment flash across her face before it was gone and that devilish smirk took its place.

"I know…..but I really don't want to," she pouted.

I pressed a chaste kiss to her lips and smiled.

"I don't either, baby, but we both know you're kind of…..loud," I teased, looking into her eyes before leaning down to whisper in her ear, "and I would rather have you screaming my name when there aren't two other people in the house."

I chuckled as Bella sucked in a sharp breath and pulled back to look at me, her eyes wide with excitement and shining with a promise of what I knew would come later tonight.

"Oh…..you…..you're gonna pay for that, mister," Bella warned.

"God, I hope so…." I trailed off, quirking an eyebrow at her in challenge.

Bella huffed indignantly, but she was smiling as I dropped her leg, and she pulled out of my arms to finish showering.

Half an hour later, I walked down the hall to find Seth and Angela sitting on the couch, whispering quietly to one another.

"Hey, guys," I said, announcing myself to them before I saw more than I wanted, which from the way they were leaning into one another was a huge possibility.

"Thanks again for cleaning up the kitchen. Bella should be out in a minute, she's just finishing up getting dressed. Um….would either of you like something to drink? Beer, wine, margarita?" I asked, earning a snort from Seth and a giggle from Angela as I opened the refrigerator to grab myself a beer.

"I'll take a beer, man, thanks," Seth called.

"Water? If you don't mind, thank you," Angela said.

I handed Seth the bottles before I took a seat across from where they sat, propping my feet on the ottoman and leaning back, relaxing into the leather of the overstuffed chair. It was one of the few pieces of furniture Bella agreed I could keep when we were sorting through my stuff.

We settled into an easy conversation as Seth filled me in on the completion of the band's album and how Angela actually contributed an original song of her own. She blushed slightly at Seth's praise for her musical talent.

Angela explained how she and Seth met. It was all because the backup singer who was supposed to be on the album got sick and they called her in at the last minute. That then led to her showing him some of her compilations on one of their first dates.

"What are you guys talking about?" Bella asked as she entered the room, dressed in a pair of low rise Cinch jeans, a simple green silk tank top, and her favorite brown boots.

She really had no idea how beautiful she truly was and I knew I would never get over that feeling. I was quite sure that she would still be taking my breath away when we were old and grey.

I smiled at her as she crossed the room and sat on the arm of my chair, leaning down to kiss my cheek.

"Angela was just telling me how she and Seth met. Did you know Angela wrote one of the songs on Seth's album?" I asked, filling her in on the highpoints of the conversation.

"Really?" Bella smiled at Angela. "That is so cool. Did Edward tell you he writes, as well?"

"Bella…." I groaned, not really wanting to divulge that little bit of information.

"What? You do, Edward." Bella turned to look at me questioningly.

"Yeah, well…..not like what these two do, so…." I trailed off, hoping she would get my message and let it go. I wasn't insecure about my musical abilities, but what I did was for my own enjoyment; they were professional musicians.

There had been a time, when I was a boy, my mother thought I would follow in her footsteps and have a career as a pianist, but that dream died with her. Regardless, I would never put myself in the same category as Seth or Angela. Bella furrowed her brow in confusion, but didn't ask any further questions.

"Hey," I said, changing the subject as I turned back to our guests. "Have you guys had dinner yet? I was thinking that maybe we could go over to Shenanigan's and grab a bite to eat, if that's alright with you, darlin'?" I looked up into Bella's eyes as she stared at me in disbelief for a moment before a grin broke across her face.

"No, man, we haven't eaten. Is that okay with you, honey?" Seth asked, turning to look at Angela.

"Yeah, that sounds great," she said.

~*~

Surprisingly dinner had been more fun than I expected, even though I extended the invitation. The conversation had flown around the table with little effort. I found it funny how as much of an ass as I had been about Seth all this time, I really liked him. He was a good guy and whether I liked it or not he cared deeply for Bella, but when I stopped and really looked at their interactions, though they were affectionate, it was much the same way Bella was with Jasper and Emmett.

The house band that replaced Seth's band when they left for Nashville was pretty good and it was nice after the drama that our lives had been recently to just unwind, listen to good music, and laugh with friends.

We were walking out of the restaurant to our cars when Seth called to me. We drove separately because Seth only lived a mile from the restaurant, so it was easier for them to drive and go home from there.

"Hey, Edward, can I talk to you for just a second?" Seth asked as Angela and Bella said their goodnights.

"Uh, yeah sure," I said, and followed him to his car.

When we were out of ear shot from the girls, he stopped and leaned against the hood of his car, folding his arms over his chest. I noticed he seemed uncomfortable for the first time tonight, looking at the ground, his brow furrowed as though he were contemplating what he wanted to say before speaking.

"Listen…um, I know I'm totally out of line here, and it's none of my business…..but I just want to tell you I'm glad you and Bella have fixed what happened between you two. She's had a lot of shit thrown at her and I know you know that. Bella deserves to be happy and, well……you make her happy. I'm glad that you two are trying to make it work."

"I appreciate that, Seth, but I feel I probably owe you an apology, though-"

"For what?" Seth asked, cutting me off.

"Well….one for being such a prick to you, or more _about_ you, I guess. I've not been the most understanding guy about your relationship with Bella."

"Dude, if Bella and I had been through what you two have, I'd be uncomfortable as hell with her having me as her best friend, too. Honestly, I doubt I would have been as civil as you've been about the whole thing. No harm, no foul," Seth laughed and clapped a hand on my shoulder.

I stared at him dumbfounded for a moment before I laughed and shook my head; I had spent months being jealous of this guy, only for him to say he didn't blame me at all for feeling that way.

"Besides, I've found what I was looking for in that little lady right over there," he said, gesturing over his shoulder to where Angela and Bella were standing, lost in their own conversation and oblivious to Seth and me.

I'm sure they were finalizing plans for Angela to join the girls on their excursion tomorrow morning. Though Bella made me promise no grand gestures for her birthday, she let her mom and Alice talk her into a little bit of girl time. So Rose, Alice, Bella, Esme, and Renee were all going to spend the early part of the day being pampered at the spa in preparation for Bella's birthday party. Bella had invited Angela to join them over dinner earlier.

"All the same, Seth, you've been a good friend to Bella. And you were there for her when I wasn't…."

I suddenly felt heavy from the loss of so many years when Bella and I should have been together. If it weren't for my stupidity…..

"Hey, you know what, Edward, none of that really matters now, does it?" Seth asked, a serious look on his face.

"What matters is the fact that you've both come a long way. That woman," he turned again to look at both Angela and Bella, "she's not the same woman I knew just a couple of months ago. The ink wasn't even dry on her divorce papers when we met, and I'll be honest with you….the changes in her are due to what the two of you share, nothing that anyone else has done. I appreciate the sentiment, but like I said, you're the one that makes her happy. I can't take any credit for that….but she is my friend, and I'm glad she's found what she needed in somebody. Even if it is you," Seth said with a completely straight face.

I couldn't tell if he was giving me shit or being serious until I saw the corners of his mouth pull up into a sly grin. I laughed, shaking my head.

"Yeah, thanks a lot, man, I really appreciate that," I said sarcastically as he punched my arm, laughing as he turned to call to Angela.

"Ang! You ready to go, babe?"

"Yep," she called over her shoulder as she hugged Bella one last time.

Seth and I shook hands and I reminded him of the time we were to meet for Bella's party. I had casually mentioned Bella's birthday dinner while we ate at Shenanigan's and invited Seth and Angela to join us the following night. They were reluctant at first, saying it was a family gathering, but I insisted and Bella joined in after she seemed to recover from her apparent shock at my sudden change in demeanor about the whole Seth thing.

I wrapped an arm around Bella's shoulders as we walked to her car. It was a nice night and Bella wanted to let the top down.

Bella wrapped her arms around my waist just as we reached the car and looked up at me, a smile upon her face. I linked my fingers behind her back, absently hooking one thumb through the belt loop of her jeans while caressing the exposed skin of her back with the other.

"What?" I asked as she continued to stare at me silently.

"Nothing, I was just trying to figure out what's come over you. You were so….nice to Seth. I just…." she shook her head and lifted up on her tip toes to press her lips to mine.

"I love you, _that_ is what's come over me. I promised you, Bella, that I would try to be better about you and Seth, so…." I trailed off, bending to kiss down the column of her neck.

"Mmm, well…." she moaned as I grazed my teeth over her collarbone. "Take me home, Edward. Take me home and make love to me."

"Gladly, darlin'," I opened her car door and helped her inside.

Luckily we didn't live that far from Shenanigan's, and even more so it was late enough that the numerous traffic laws I was breaking to get home went unnoticed.

As soon as I parked the car, I was out and rounding to open Bella's door. Lifting her into my arms, Bella immediately wrapped her legs around my waist, attaching her lips to my neck. I practically ran up the steps, readjusting Bella in my arms as I fumbled with the lock. Finally getting the door open, I stumbled inside the house as I found her lips once again.

Though our kisses in the car had been tender and sweet, this was something much more as I felt myself growing harder by the second. When she opened to allow my tongue into her mouth, I thought I would lose my mind with the desire coursing through my body.

"I want you, Edward," she purred against my lips as she pulled away slightly to trail kisses down my chin and neck.

Bella's nimble fingers began unbuttoning my shirt as I continued down the hall to our room. She slid her tiny hands between us, over the skin of my abdomen and chest. I couldn't hold back the groan that rumbled deep in my throat as she nipped at the skin of my neck and upper chest.

Finally making it to our bed, I laid her gently on the comforter, shrugging out of my shirt before covering her body with mine and kissing her with all the passion and need that had been building thorough out dinner.

"Oh God, Bella…..I need you….right now, baby."

"Please, Edward…..I need you, too…."

I didn't waste any time realizing Bella's need was a great as my own. I stood and stripped as quickly as possible, pushing my jeans and boxers off my body in one sweeping movement, letting them fall to the floor. Bella tore her top from her body and was wiggling her hips in an effort to remove her jeans before I covered her hands with my own, stopping her.

"Let me, baby," I said, my voice low and rough as I slowly began sliding her jeans over the curve of her hips and down her shapely thighs, trailing behind the denim with light kisses and soft nips of my teeth.

"Oh God, Edward……I can't….please don't tease me, I need you too much," Bella begged, her eyes wide and her breathing coming in short gasps.

She lifted slightly off the bed, unclasping her bra and sliding the straps over her shoulders, throwing it across the room as I crawled back up the bed. I stretched out next to her and held my weight on one bended arm.

I smirked at the throaty moan Bella let out as I flattened my palm over her thigh sliding it up over her hip, and across her abdomen just below her navel. Bella whimpered as I brushed the back of my fingers just a little lower across her tummy before sliding them down to the place she was wordlessly begging me to go.

"Oh God, Bella, you're so wet for me," I said as I bent to take one of her pert nipples into my mouth.

Bella's hands shot to my hair as she pressed herself into my touch. I circled her entrance with one finger, teasing her before dipping inside as I lavished her breast with my tongue.

"Do you like that, baby?" I asked against her skin before ghosting my lips back up her body to suckle that spot just below her ear that I knew drove her insane.

"Oh God, Edward…..yes," she breathed.

Adding another finger to the first, I worked her body until I could feel her walls begin to contract and I knew her release was close. I pulled my hand away just as she was reaching her climax and smiled when she glared at me. I rolled, settling between her legs and quickly pushing inside her.

"Ah….ah, Edward," she cried as I felt her body tighten around me and she found the release I had denied her a moment ago.

"That's it, baby…..oh, fuck, baby…..I love you so much, Bella," I grunted as I moved inside her.

"I love you, too….I love you so…much."

I knew I wouldn't last long. I needed her too much and had been waiting too long to have her wrapped around me, sheathing me in her warmth.

I felt the tightening in my abdomen as I pumped into her, and when Bella bit my shoulder that was all it took to throw me over the edge as the white light exploded behind my closed lids and I released, calling her name.

I fell to the side, pulling out at the same time but wrapping my arms around her. Bella snuggled into my chest as we lay wrapped in one another for a long moment.

"Shouldn't we actually get under the covers before we fall asleep?" Bella asked, her words were muffled as she spoke into my chest, not moving her face from where she buried it a few moments ago.

I chuckled and said, "Yeah, I guess we should. I think the comforter's going to have to go to the cleaner's now."

I rolled and stood by the bed to help turn the covers down. I laughed, shaking my head as Bella giggled, scooting up the bed and throwing the decorative pillows on the floor. There were times when she reminded me of the girl she had once been; I loved her all the more for it.

"I love you, Edward," Bella said before pressing a gentle kiss to the center of my chest once we were settled back in bed.

"I love you, too, baby." I threaded my fingers in the thick locks of her hair and kissed the top on her head.

I felt Bella's breathing even out as she drifted off, wrapped safely in my arms. I sighed in contentment, realizing this was just the beginning and there would be so many more nights like this one, and I couldn't be happier about that prospect.

~*~

"Thanks….yes, ma'am, I'd like to be able to make those arrangements for the day after Christmas."

I had been on the phone with the travel agent for over an hour. If I was going to execute the perfect proposal, I needed to make sure the first step was in place.

Step two would come after I knew our travel arrangements were set, and it consisted of talking with Emmett to make the necessary preparations for both Bella and I to be away from the ranch for an extended period without Bella finding out beforehand.

Bella had left earlier this morning to pick up Angela so they could meet the rest of the girls at the spa. Bella wasn't really the spa type, not that she didn't like the pampering. She just still had issues occasionally with her body and the thought of being naked in front of other people wasn't something she relished.

"Yes, ma'am, I'm still here," I paused, listening. "So….oh, great, and you'll be emailing that confirmation to me? Thank you…yes, ma'am, I very much appreciate it…..oh, yes, I plan on making it something she'll never forget. Thank you."

I hung up the phone with a smile on my face, thinking that I had one more step checked off the list towards making Bella my wife. Knowing that I had the ring and now the location for the proposal nailed down, I needed to make the arrangements to ensure the ranch was taken care of while we would be gone. Convincing Bella that someone else could actually run the ranch for ten days would be no small feat, so I wanted to make sure I had all of that settled before I even broached the subject of going away with Bella, knowing that if I had it all set up she couldn't argue.

The last couple of days I had been feeling more and more apprehensive about Bella's impending doctor's appointment. Maybe it was the knowledge we would actually find out exactly what our options were instead of taking what little Bella remembered as fact.

I had begun to feel an all encompassing fear for what the appointment and the information we would gain would do to Bella, regardless of what we found out. I needed to talk to someone, and there was only one person who came to mind that could help me sort these feelings out. I picked up my cell and dialed his number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, dad, um... are you busy?"

"Edward? Is everything alright?" he asked, concern lacing his words.

"Yeah, fine, dad….I need to talk……and thought maybe I could come over?" I asked.

"You know your mother's gone off with the other girls on their girl's day," Carlisle chuckled. "So I have absolutely nothing to do. Edward, you know I'm here whenever you need."

"I know….thanks, dad. I'll be over in about twenty minutes, okay?" I asked.

"Sure, son, I'll be waiting."

After so many years, it was strange to feel that desire for Carlisle's advice, especially seeing as I spent so much time avoiding nearly all contact with my family.

I grabbed my keys and slid behind the wheel. Fifteen minutes later, I was pulling up in front of my parents' home. Knowing Carlisle would most likely be in his study, I let myself in and made my way through the house.

I knocked lightly before opening the door and stuck my head inside to find him sitting behind his large mahogany desk, poring over a book.

Carlisle was constantly studying one thing or another, always looking for more information about whatever subject was of interest to him at the moment. He looked up as I stepped fully into the room, removing his reading glasses and placing them on the desk in front of him.

"Edward," Carlisle said, standing to round his desk and wrap me in a hug.

Even though I was a grown man, Carlisle still found it necessary to hug me like he did when I was a little boy. I guess in many ways I would always be a little boy to both he and Esme.

"Hey, dad," I said, returning his hug.

"So," he started, keeping an arm around my shoulders as he led me to one of the leather wing chairs which sat in front of his desk. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit? You sounded like you had something important on your mind when you called."

I took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly as I sat back in the chair, rubbing my palms over my thighs nervously. Carlisle had taken his seat behind his desk, twirling his glasses in one hand and patiently waiting.

"I….." I hesitated, not really knowing where to start. "I'm sure that you know I plan on asking Bella to marry me."

"Yes, your mother told me that the two of you made a trip to the bank," he said, nodding his head in affirmation, a smile on his face. "I'm assuming that you and Bella have talked about this. She's ready to do that again?"

"Yes, sir, we talked about it before I took the ring from the safe deposit box. She doesn't know about that yet. I wanted it to be a surprise, but that's not really what I needed to talk to you about."

"Okay….," Carlisle quirked an eyebrow at me. "What exactly did you want to talk about?" He sat up in his chair, placing his glasses to the side before folding his arms on top of the desk.

"Well, getting married isn't the only thing that we've been talking about, and….." I paused to take a breath, running a hand through my hair as I sat up, resting an elbow on my knee.

"God….I…..when Bella lost the baby….." I met his eyes as I paused, trying desperately to put my thoughts together.

"Yes…you've talked about that then?" he asked, slowly sitting back in his chair, never breaking eye contact with me, and I nodded.

"Bella made an appointment with her doctor to find out what, if any, options would be open to us for having a child in the future."

"Edward, that's wonderful. I would think you'd be happy about that, so why are you so upset, son?" Carlisle asked, confusion coloring his words.

"I'm scared, dad. I'm scared they're going to tell us we can have a child and I'm scared they're going to tell us we can't. And because……I don't know what either option is going to do to Bella." I stood and began pacing around the room, my anxiety building as the different scenarios ran through my mind.

"She's just now beginning to deal with all of the pain and let go of some of the guilt she's felt. You know we turned the room she started as a nursery into a music room, right?" I asked, continuing to pace back and forth in front of Carlisle's desk.

"Yes, Esme mentioned something about that. I think that's a great bit of progress, son. I still don't see-"

"That's exactly it, Carlisle." I turned to face him. "Bella _is _making progress, _we're_ making progress. Things are good right now. What am I going to do if we go in there, and even though she _thinks_ there is no possibility she will ever have a biological child…..I see it, I don't think she's aware of it, but I see it. It's like, now that she's made the decision to find out, there's this little bit of hope that we just might be able to have a child of our own. What happens when….." I had to pause to take a breath, I felt as though I were drowning in the fear. "What's going to happen when we go in there and they actually tell her, when she's completely coherent and not drugged out of her gourd, when she hears that she can't have children? What do I do when they tell her that? When that becomes a reality, how do I help her deal with that?"

I fell back into the chair I had abandoned a few moments earlier, dropping my head into my hands.

Carlisle was silent for what felt like an eternity. I knew I laid a lot in his lap, but I had to talk to somebody and I couldn't tell Bella those fears. I needed to be strong for her; there wasn't anyone else to turn to.

"Edward, I don't know what you want me to tell you that you don't already know. "

My head snapped up and I looked at him like he had lost his mind.

_What did he mean he couldn't tell me anything I didn't already know?_

Carlisle held his hands up, tilting his head to the side with a slight grin on his face, before continuing.

"Now, son, don't go off the deep end yet. Up to this point, Bella has, for the most part, accepted the fact that she doesn't have the ability to have a biological child, and the two of you have discussed this, yes?" He looked at me expectantly and I could only nod in affirmation.

"Then if that's what you find out by going to meet with her doctor, I can't see that her reaction will be much different than what it has been up to this point. Now, don't get me wrong, it's going to hurt, but I know Bella and she's a strong woman and it's what she's expecting, so it won't be a shock. But I also understand what you're saying about the hope, believe me. I've seen that little light in a woman's eye…..Esme held onto that hope for many years after we had Alice. We thought we would have more children, but it never happened. Truly, Alice was a miracle in the first place and then….well, Elizabeth and Edward…." Carlisle trailed off, not finishing the thought, though I was well aware he was referring to my parent's accident and how he and Esme took me in, raising me as their own. "When you came to live with us, Edward, it filled a hole in our family, and even though you were eleven it was like you had always been our son. So, I'm asking…..have you ever felt as though you were loved any differently than Alice?"

"What? No! Why would you even……you and Esme have always treated me like I was your son." I was dumbfounded. I knew I had hurt them in the last few years, but they had been nothing if not good parents to both Alice and I.

"I'm glad that you feel that way, Edward, and I ask that because…..well, you are _not_ my biological son, but that doesn't make me love you any less than if you were. So do you not think that you and Bella would be able to do the same? Do you feel that Bella would never be able to love a child that was hers in every way but biologically?"

"I….No, I……Bella will be a wonderful mother regardless, and we've talked about that. I told her we would do whatever we needed to do to have a child, whether that means adoption or some other means. I meant that."

"Then I don't see why you're so upset, son. Don't get me wrong, I understand your fears. I'm just trying to get you to see that you already know what you will do. You and Bella have come so far in talking to one another about these things; you'll get through it, regardless of what the doctor tells you. You'll get through it together and you'll make the decisions that are right for both of you."

I sat staring at him as the truth of his words sank in and I knew he was right. Bella and I would get through whatever lay before us, together.

"Now, not that I'm rushing you off, but the ladies should be returning pretty soon, and I'm sure your birthday girl is expecting you to be at home waiting on her." Carlisle stood and wrapped me in another hug as he walked me out.

"Thanks, dad, for more than just today," I said.

I truly was a lucky man to have these people as my family. They took me back into their hearts without so much as a blink of an eye; even after the deplorable way I had treated them.

~*~

I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge while I waited for Bella to finish getting dressed. I turned the bottle up to take a long drink, leaning back against the counter and thinking about my conversation earlier with Carlisle. I choked on the water as Bella entered the room in the sexiest baby doll pink dress I ever laid eyes on.

"Oh my God, Edward," Bella cried as she rushed to where I stood, sputtering and coughing on the water I sucked into my lungs. "Are you alright?"

I could only nod my head, waving my hand in the air and trying to let her know I was fine as I coughed a few more times and tried to catch my breath.

"I'm fine, Bella," I said when I finally found my voice again. "Dear lord, woman, where did you get that dress? I haven't seen this before," I smiled and grasped her hips, pulling her to me.

The sharp contrast of her dark hair falling down her back in subdued curls and the soft pink that brought out the roses and cream of Bella's skin was stunning. She truly looked like an angel who had fallen from Heaven. Bella smiled as she placed her hands on my chest, smoothing out the lines of my jacket before she looked up into my eyes.

"It was a gift from momma and daddy for my birthday," she said before she stepped back and did a little twirl, giggling. "You like?"

I quickly closed the space between us, pulling her flush against my body once more.

"I love it, darlin', but I believe I would like it even more off your body and lying on the floor," I growled into her ear and smiled when she whimpered, dropping her head to my shoulder.

"It's really not very nice to tease me like that on my birthday, ya know," Bella said into my chest.

"Who said I'm teasing, baby?" I asked.

Bella pulled back and looked into my eyes, hers wide in surprise and anticipation before her expression became a scowl as I couldn't hold back the smirk that pulled at my lips.

"Oh, you…." Bella slapped my chest playfully. "You are not nice, Mr. Cullen."

"Never claimed to be, darlin'," I quipped as I pecked her lips before pulling away and stepping into the dining room to retrieve her gift from the table. "But I do have a little something I wanted to give you," I smiled as I handed her the box containing her birthday gift.

"Did you wrap this? It's so pretty, I don't want to mess up the wrapping," Bella mused as she ran a finger lightly over the ribbon.

I just nodded my head, quirking an eyebrow expectantly, encouraging her to open the gift. The anticipation of her reaction to what I picked out was making me jumpy. She meticulously tore the paper and ribbon from the box, laying them both on the counter before slowly removing the top.

"Edward," she whispered as she turned to look into my eyes, her fingers covered her trembling lip and her eyes were shining with unshed tears.

"Do you like it?" I asked, removing the delicate piece of jewelry from the box and opening the clasp before wrapping it around her slender wrist.

Holding her hand, I traced a circle with a single finger around where the bracelet lay against her skin.

"Edward, I love it. It's beautiful." Bella placed her free hand on my cheek and I leaned into her tender touch, my eyes closing of their own accord.

Opening my eyes once again, I met her gaze. There was no denying her feelings for me at that moment; I turned my face to kiss her palm.

I had to clear my throat before speaking, "The saleslady said you could return the charms if you didn't like any of the ones I picked out, so it's okay if you want to change any of them. And you can add to the bracelet anytime you want."

"No, I love them….all of them. Tell me about them, I mean, I can guess why you picked some of them, like the horseshoe," she laughed lightly, "my birthstone, and the initial is kind of obvious, but the others…." she trailed off as she fingered the locket and then the heart shaped lock.

I held the egg shaped birthstone charm between my fingers, trying to put into words the reasons behind why I chose the other charms.

"Well, like you said the birthstone, the initial, and the horseshoe are obvious, of course," I said, smiling and sliding the bracelet around her wrist to hold the locket with my fingertips. "This locket," I gently opened it and Bella gasped as she looked at the tiny pictures inside. "Esme had this picture from when we were in high school," I pointed to the picture of a teenage Bella and me. "And then Alice snapped this picture at my birthday party."

When I mentioned to Alice that I was trying to figure out what pictures I could put in the locket for Bella, she immediately remembered these two pictures. Both pictures showed me looking over my shoulder at Bella who was perched on my back, smiles on our faces as we looked into each others eyes. Rosalie used her photography equipment to shrink them so they could be placed in the locket without losing the integrity of the pictures

Bella slowly shook her head, too overcome with her emotions to speak, but I could see the smile on her face as she looked at the pictures more closely. I moved on to the next charm to explain that the heart lock represented the fact that she was the only person who held the key to the lock on my heart. The snowman was just for fun because I knew how much she loved winter and snow.

"And this," I held the tiny silver circle on the tip of my finger, "this is an eternal circle. There is no beginning or end, just as there is no beginning or end to my love for you. I love you, Bella. I've always loved you, and this circle represents the fact that I will love you for eternity."

Bella threw her arms around my neck as a sob broke from her chest and I held her to me, silently thanking God I finally figured out enough to realize how precious this woman was and that by some miracle she had given me the chance to be in her life again.

"Come on, baby, we need to get to the restaurant," I murmured into her hair, pulling back and leading her out to the car.

~*~

Emmett was his usual boisterous self and had everyone in stitches the entire night. Seth and Angela fit right in with the craziness that always accompanied a Cullen-Swan affair. The entire dinner had been just what I would expect - loud, raucous, and every bit as much fun as I knew it would be.

"Holy God, Emmett, I swear you're a bigger kid than your son," Rosalie scolded as she cleaned the globs of cake from Garrett's hands, but I could see her fighting a smile.

Everyone at the table was laughing at Emmett and Garrett's latest escapade. The restaurant had provided everyone's choice of their favorite dessert in honor of Bella's birthday. Emmett had allowed Garrett to have full access to a piece of chocolate mousse cake, which was currently spread all over his face, hands, and clothing, as well as the table, Rosalie's arm, and the front of Emmett's shirt.

"I swear it's not always like this," Bella explained as she leaned toward Angela, laughing.

"Are you crazy?" Seth laughed. "It's exactly like this, _all_ the time."

"He's right, ya know," Alice chirped through her giggles. "We're a lively bunch, but I hope we haven't scared you off because I think you fit right in with this crazy crew. And that big lug," she pointed at Seth, "needs somebody to keep him in line."

"I've had a blast. Thank you, Edward, for inviting us," Angela said in complete sincerity, looking around Bella to where I sat before turning back to the table at large. "Really, I have three younger brothers, triplets no less. I swear this is nothing I'm not used to."

The conversation flowed around the table and as the wait staff cleared the dessert plates, Alice stood to grab the gifts which were stacked in the corner of the small private party room where we were seated.

"Here, Bella, I know that you didn't want a huge production so I tried to keep it reigned in, but I hope you've enjoyed tonight. I love you," Alice said, hugging Bella and kissing her cheek. "This is from me and Jasper," she handed Bella a small gift box before taking her seat again.

"Oh, Alice! I love it, thank you both," Bella gushed as she plucked the small boot shaped charm from the box, showing it to everyone.

"Well, when I found out about the bracelet Edward got you, I thought it would be a perfect addition to the others." Alice said, smiling.

Bella turned, handing me the charm so I could attach it to her bracelet. She turned back to the table and spent the next several minutes going through each of the gifts from the rest of our family. Bella received a scrapbook and supplies from Emmett, Rose and Garrett, and a set of books that she and Esme shared a passion for from my parents. Angela and Seth gave her two tickets to the opening night concert for Seth's band when they started their tour in January.

"Bella, honey, I think you have one more gift."

Bella looked confused as Charlie stood and placed a small box in front of her, bending to kiss her cheek before taking his seat once again.

"Daddy? You and momma already gave me this dress, I….."

"That's just from your daddy, hon, go on now and open it up." Renee smiled at Bella and patted Charlie's hand.

"Oh," Bella sighed as she opened the black velvet box to reveal a pair of sapphire earrings in a delicate platinum setting.

"They were your grandmother Swan's. Your momma took them and had them reset, but…." Charlie trailed off as he looked into Bella's eyes before dropping his head and rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Charlie Swan wasn't a man of many words and he wasn't one to express his emotions openly. There was never any doubt about how much he loved both of his kids, but there was a special bond between him and Bella.

"Daddy…." Bella choked out as she stood to make her way over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him to her. "I love them, thank you."

"You're welcome, baby girl," Charlie croaked, his voice breaking with his own emotion of the moment.

"Thank you, everyone, I can't really tell you how much you all mean to me and……well, just thank you for being here tonight. I love you all," Bella said, her voice thick with emotion once she was settled in her chair once again.

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently; she turned to me, her eyes shining with tears. Releasing her hand, I wrapped an arm around her shoulders; pulling her into my side, I kissed her cheek, nuzzling the side of her head gently.

"Happy birthday, baby," I whispered so only she would hear.

"Uh, yeah, you two can cut that shit out, cause I don't need to see my baby sister making out at the table," Emmett's voice boomed across the room.

"Emmett Swan, language," Renee scolded, but I could see the fight she was waging against laughing out right.

Bella glared at her brother as Jasper and Seth openly chortled while the girls around the table tried to cover their smiles.

"Daddy, twuble?" Garrett questioned, looking up at his mother with wide eyes.

Rosalie giggled before saying, "Yep, little man, daddy got in trouble with grammy."

Carlisle and Charlie bickered over who would be paying the check, as usual. Charlie won out this time, stating the fact that it was his daughter's birthday and he should pay for the dinner.

We all filed out of the restaurant and made our way toward our respective cars after saying goodnight to everyone. Seth and Angela were staying in town for a few more days, so we made plans to meet up with them later in the week to have dinner again.

Bella and I were quiet during the ride home, but the peaceful silence after the rambunctious last few hours with our families was a nice respite. I love them all dearly, but there is most definitely something to be said for the quiet when they're not around.

Just before we made the turn off the highway, Bella shifted in her seat and leaned across the console to rest her head against my shoulder, lacing her fingers with mine atop the gear stick.

"Thank you for such a nice birthday," she said through a yawn.

I turned and kissed her hair before saying, "You're welcome, darlin', I'm glad you had a good time."

When we arrived home, Bella made her way down the hall to get ready for bed as I stepped into our office.

When I spoke with a travel agent earlier in the day, she assured me she would be sending a confirmation on the arrangements I requested. I had been waiting to receive it all day and wanted to check my email to see if it had arrived while we were at dinner.

True to her word, the agent had set up the arrangements just as I requested. I printed out the confirmation and locked it in my desk, hoping that Bella would not become suspicious about why I was now locking my desk drawer.

I made my way out of the office and down the hall to our bedroom. The only light in the room as I entered was from Bella's night lamp, but it was easy to see she was already fast asleep. Crossing the room, I stood beside the bed, admiring the beauty of my Bella. I trailed a finger down her delicate jaw and brushed a lock of hair away from her face.

Quickly stripping down to my boxers, I slipped under the covers and curled myself around my Bella. I pulled her tightly into my body and took a deep breath before letting the peacefulness of sleep overtake me.

* * *

**E/N: Okay so I know I said a couple of chapters ago that MMB only had 4 chapters left.....well, while MMB IS winding to an end and will stay close to what I originally planned in length there are a few more chapters left. I don't want to feel as though the last chapters are rushed because of some limit I set for myself early on, so yes MMB is coming to an end, and everything that is left undone will be addressed by the time it's finished but I'm not going to give a chapter count down because I made myself and Jessica nuts with trying to stay within that limit, so I'm not gonna do that.....I will give you warning before the last two chapters post it's just not the next two that will be the last. **

**Thank you each and everyone for your loyalty and your love for this story!!! **

**Bella's doctor appointment will be up next that I can promise. ^_~**

**Oh, one last thing I have created a blog. I started it to post my WitFit challenges from the Ficntionista's for January and most all of the entries I submitted are there but I will also be posting teasers for the upcoming chapters of MMB as well as when I start my next story, so head over and take a look if you like....**

http://(dot)blogspot(dot)com/


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: As always thanks to my super duper beta Jessica1971. She once again has worked her magic upon this chapter and made it prettier.... muah!!!**

**My RL has been insane over the last couple weeks so I apologize for the delayed update but I hope you'll feel it was worth it at the end. Thank you to all of you who have read and reviewed. It makes my day when I get those little alerts in my in-box and I appreciate every single one. MMB is approaching the 1700 mark and that just blows me away every single day. So THANK YOU!!!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended. The plot and storyline herein belongs to the author. **

* * *

Chapter 29 Revelations....

BPOV

The feeling of waking up wrapped in Edward's arms was one I hoped I would never get used to. Looking at his face and the....._prettiness_ of his features made even more so in the relaxed state of sleep made my heart skip. I knew he would kill me if he knew I ever referred to him as _pretty, _but really how else do you describe someone who looks like Edward?

If he was a woman he would be super model status beautiful, so there really wasn't a description that fit other than...pretty.

The few weeks since my birthday had been some of the best Edward and I had since moving in together. He was more relaxed and I was surer of where we were headed in our relationship, we were able to just settle into a comfortable rhythm with one another.

Edward seemed to have made peace with his jealousy over my friendship with Seth. The four of us went out a few times to dinner before Seth and Angela had to get back to Nashville. Seth wasn't completely moved out of his house here so they would be back in a few weeks, just before Thanksgiving, to close up his house.

I smiled remembering the night Seth showed up at our door unannounced and how nervous I felt before Edward arrived home, having no idea how he would react to Seth's presence. Though I was happy to see my friend, I would be lying if I didn't admit that the anticipation of Edward's reaction scared me out of my mind. I didn't think Edward would make a scene, but I knew he wouldn't be happy; it wasn't as if he made a secret of his feelings about my relationship with Seth. And though I tried to make Angela and Seth welcome, I was truly nervous about Edward coming home, which led to not paying closer attention and ensuring the lid was on the blender tightly before turning it on.

When I heard Edward's laughter ring through the kitchen after the blender blew up all over me, I can't describe the emotions that shot through me at that moment. Shock was the first, but that morphed into relief, which of course then became playful irritation because he found it so funny that I was covered in drink mix.

I bit my lip, trying not to wake Edward with the giggles that were bubbling in my chest, but I couldn't help the snicker that escaped my lips at the thought of Edward's face when I pounced and wiped as much of the sticky mix on him as I could.

I knew it would drive him nuts that I put my gooey hands in his hair. If there was one thing Edward hated above all else, it was being sticky; he completely loathed anything even remotely sticky. It made his skin crawl to see kids with lollipop goo or ice cream all over their faces and dripping down their hands. So I knew that little stunt would get a reaction out of him, and hopefully distract him a bit more from the fact that Seth was sitting in _his_ house.

My chest tightened at the realization that Edward finally understood this was home and that the house was his every bit as much as it was mine. The feeling of warmth and happiness that spread through my body when it became apparent he felt that way was indescribable.

And when Edward invited Seth and Angela not only to have dinner that night, but also to join us for my birthday party, I was beyond shocked. Something changed in Edward that night, he seemed to come to some sort of acceptance of Seth, and it made my love for him grow exponentially. I knew that he was trying to be understanding and that it was for me. And I think the fact that Angela was present helped somewhat, but the fact remained that he was really trying.

I traced a finger lightly over Edward's face, thinking back on the bracelet he gave me and tears prickled in my eyes, remembering how much I loved the gift. His words of explanation for why he chose each of the charms and the nervousness I could see in his face were beyond adorable and broke my heart at the same time. He truly was unsure if I would like the charms or not.

Edward really knew me better than he would admit even to himself, it was almost as if he was afraid to believe that we were really at this point in our relationship, and, honestly, I couldn't blame him because I felt the same way at times. I almost felt the need to pinch myself on a daily basis just to make sure I wasn't dreaming, that Edward truly was back in my life and that we were taking steps to make it a more permanent endeavor.

The thought of actually having a future with anyone, let alone the fact that we had a future together, was exciting and daunting at the same instant.

I smiled as I traced Edward's full lips with my index finger and watched them pull up at the corners before they pursed and kissed the tip of my finger.

"G'morning, love," Edward's deep, gravelly sleep thickened voice whispered and I felt the immediate reaction of my body all the way down to my toes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I said, leaning down to kiss him gently.

"It's okay, baby, you didn't wake me. I was just lying here enjoying you doing that. I've actually been awake for a while." Edward rolled onto his back and pulled me on top of him, smiling as he opened his eyes.

I folded my hands on his chest, resting my chin on top so I could look up at him, "Is that so?"

"Mmhmm," he hummed happily before his expression turned more serious. "Are you okay about today?"

I felt my eyes widen at his reminder about the doctor's appointment later that morning and was momentarily stunned into silence.

The last couple of weeks, Edward and I had danced around this subject, touching on what it would mean to us both but not getting any deeper than acknowledging the time was drawing close to the day that would change our future regardless of what we found out.

It seemed strange in some ways to think about Edward and I having a child in any capacity, seeing as though we were not even officially engaged, but knowing that was where our path together was headed, it was comforting. The idea that Edward wasn't afraid to find out and truly wanted to know what we could or could not do in that respect helped with some of my anxiety. I knew he would be here regardless of the outcome of today's appointment.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes before answering his question. Was I okay? I didn't really know, but I knew that with him there beside me, whatever we found out it would be okay.

"Truthfully?" I asked, opening my eyes to meet the intensity of his emerald gaze.

He nodded, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear before folding his long fingers around my neck to bring my face closer and pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"I'm not sure how _okay_ I am, but.....I want to know and I also know that you'll be there, and regardless of what they tell us, that we'll figure out where we go from here," I whispered and dipped my head to place a kiss to his bare chest, just over his heart.

"Um....you know I've got to have my yearly check up today as well, right?"

I giggled when Edward grimaced, scrunching up his nose at the reminder that today's appointment was more than just meeting with my doctor. I had not been back in to see Dr. Gonzalez since he released me after the surgery. I was only slightly late for my yearly check up and figured that killing two birds with one stone was a good idea.

"Ugh..." Edward groaned.

"Sorry....you can just wait in the waiting room while Dr. Gonzalez does the exam. He won't do any of the talking in the exam room anyway. He always talks to me in his office, so I can just come get you when he's ready to talk to us."

Edward looked slightly relieved at that prospect and then a look of uncertainty passed over his face.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Bella, I don't want you to think I'm not here for you...I mean I can stay with you in the room if-"

"Edward, really, it's fine," I said, cutting him off. "I wouldn't be in there either if I didn't have to be. Believe me, the exam is really not all it's cracked up to be. I'll be fine....it's not like I haven't been having these since I was like fifteen...'k?"

Edward looked at me for a long moment before he placed a hand behind my head, pulling me to him for a gentle kiss. My hands slid up over his chest to frame his face.

"I love you," I whispered against his lips when I pulled back, breaking our kiss.

"Love you, too," Edward said.

"Come on, I'll fix some breakfast while you take a shower."

"Bella," Edward whined as I slipped out of the bed and made my way toward the door.

"What?" I asked, smiling over my shoulder and winking at him.

~*~

Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pressed his lips to my hair as I exited the car outside Dr. Gonzalez's office.

"Nervous?"

I could only nod before allowing Edward to pull me into his embrace and burying my face in his chest. I took a deep breath, trying desperately to find the calm I felt earlier. I couldn't really explain why I felt on the verge of tears; I just was and it pissed me off. The nerves were getting the better of me and I didn't like it one bit.

My whole body trembled with the nervous energy flowing through me and Edward must have felt it, too, because he tightened his arms around me, crushing me to him. We stood that way for several moments before I pulled away and took his hand, leading him toward Dr. Gonzalez's office.

"Hi, Bella," Connie called as I approached the reception desk.

Connie and Dr. Gonzalez had been married for years, and though she looked as though she were in her thirties, she was probably pushing sixty. Connie was a registered nurse, so she not only worked in the office, but in the hospital with Dr. Gonzalez, as well.

"Hi, Connie. How are you?" I asked, still holding tightly to Edward's hand.

"I'm wonderful, dear. You?" Connie asked and I saw her eyes widen a little as she looked over my shoulder, taking in Edward. I watched with a smirk on my face as her eyes slowly raked over Edward from head to toe.

I bit the inside of my cheek. I knew Connie was a huge flirt, having heard her on more than one occasion embarrass the husbands of patients about their prowess for 'knocking up' their wives, even though many of the women visited Dr. Gonzalez for infertility treatment and were more than likely pregnant by other means.

Dr. Alejandro Gonzalez was an OB/GYN who specialized in woman's reproductive diseases and infertility. He told me time and again the fact that I got pregnant was a miracle in and of itself. Being diagnosed with Endometriosis in my later teenage years, I was plagued with unbearable cramps and pain at all times of the month, not just during my cycle. During my cycle I was pretty close to incapacitated, and it was finally suggested after trying many different treatments that I see a specialist, which led me to Dr. Gonzalez. He and Connie became almost like another set of parents to me, especially during my pregnancy and then after everything happened with losing the baby.

"I'm great, thank you. Connie," I said and smiled before I turned to look up at Edward, I almost laughed at the deer in the headlights look on his face, "this is Edward Cullen. Edward, Concetta Gonzalez. She's Dr. Gonzalez's wife."

"Pleased to meet you, ma'am." Edward smiled politely, stepping forward to offer his hand to Connie, who smiled even wider as she ran her eyes over him once again.

"Well, hello handsome," Connie purred.

I had to choke back the urge to laugh out loud as I saw Edward's eyes go even wider and he shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. I watched him squirm for a moment before deciding to help him out.

"Down, Connie," I teased, placing my free hand on Edward's chest and looking up to meet his eyes. "He's all mine."

Edward smiled that crooked grin I loved so much at my words.

"Damn," Connie laughed, dropping Edward's hand, shaking her head before bending to grab a small computer from the desk. "Just have a seat, you two. I'll be back for you in a minute, Bella. Let me run get the room set up."

The office had gone completely paperless a couple of years ago and instead of those huge thick files they used to keep on everyone, they now had every record stored electronically.

"Sure thing," I said as Connie walked away.

I turned to see there were a few other patients waiting as well, but I assumed they were there for things other than seeing the doctor. Holding Edward's hand, I led the way to one of the sofas along the far wall.

Dr. Gonzalez's office was designed to look more like a home than an office. There were none of those horribly uncomfortable 'waiting room' chairs that you expected to see in a doctor's office. Instead, there were sofas and overstuffed wing chairs arranged throughout the large waiting area. The lighting wasn't from those god awful commercial fluorescent lights, but came from stylish wrought iron lamps on side tables and the sun that filtered through the sheer covered windows that made up one entire wall. The walls were painted a soft muted yellow, which gave the entire room a feeling of warmth and comfort.

Edward placed an arm along the back of the sofa and propped one foot on his knee before leaning in to whisper in my ear, "You can't leave me out here with that woman."

I had to cover my mouth to hold in the laugh at the seriousness in his voice, but it was useless as a snicker escaped anyway and Edward scowled.

"I'm serious," he said, his voice rising slightly with his irritation at my not taking his distress seriously.

"Oh my God, Edward, she's not going to molest you in the waiting room," I whispered, laughing. "She's completely harmless, just a huge flirt."

"Pfft...so you say," he muttered under his breath.

I couldn't help giggling at him and shook my head as Connie came back to the waiting room. I patted Edward's knee, kissed him on the cheek, and gave him an encouraging smile before I stood to join Connie in the doorway. If nothing else, Edward's reaction to Connie's not so subtle advances distracted me for a while and I felt a bit more relaxed.

"That man is some serious hotness, my dear. Where did you dream him up?" Connie crooned as I followed her down the hall to the nurse's area where she took my vitals.

"Edward and I have known each other a long time. Keep your hands to yourself, Connie," I warned, glaring at her playfully.

"Not likely, sweetheart. That's just too tempting, and way too much fun; I thought he was going to pee himself when I was playing with him earlier," Connie snorted before leading me into the exam room.

I laughed as the image of Edward's face and the way he begged me not to leave him alone after his first encounter with Connie came to mind.

"Seriously, Bella, he's a catch. I like him much more than that sorry excuse for a husband you had before."

Connie never made any bones about the fact she didn't care for Tyler. Tyler accompanied me to only one visit to see Dr. Gonzalez not long after we married. Tyler did not make a good first impression on Connie. Although he was on his best behavior that day, she seemed to have an uncanny way of reading people and just never took a liking to him.

"Me, too, Connie," I agreed as we stepped into the exam room.

Just like the waiting area, the exam rooms were made to be more like a home or spa. The colors were muted and the lights were soft. There were no paper cover ups or those god awful paper half gowns. Instead they provided their patients with short terry cloth robes and soft fleece throws to cover with.

"Alright, sweetie," Connie turned to place her computer on the counter. "Go ahead and get undressed. Slip into the robe on the back of the door and hit the light when you're ready," she instructed as she hit a few buttons on the screen before stepping back toward the door.

I waited until Connie shut the exam room door before shedding my clothes and slipping into the robe as instructed. I hit the little alert light before hopping up on the exam table, the one item in the room that reminded you of where you actually were, and waited with baited breath for the doctor to come in.

"Bella," Dr. Gonzalez called as he entered the room, a wide smile upon his face.

He was followed closely by Connie, who I noticed had an evil glint in her eye, and I instantly wondered if she had been torturing Edward.

"Yes, Bella, I like him much better than that Tyler character," she whispered as she passed.

I groaned inwardly and rolled my eyes at the thought of what form of uncomfortable teasing Connie heaped on Edward while he waited in the other room.

"How are you, my dear?" Dr. Gonzalez continued oblivious to Connie's comment. "It's been quite a while since I've seen you. You're feeling well, I take it, and this is your yearly, no?"

"I'm good, Dr. G. Yes, it's my yearly and....." I hesitated unsure how to form the words to express the other reason for my visit today. I knew he was aware I wanted to talk with him about my surgery and other things because I had made that clear when I set-up the appointment.

"And?" He looked at me over the top of his glasses expectantly.

He was going to make me tell him why I was here today....all of it. Dr. Gonzalez was annoying in that way. Though I truly adored him, he always made me say what I was thinking even when I was terribly uncomfortable with it.

"I also wanted to talk with you about what happened last year....I know you tried to talk to me before, but I wasn't ready and....I am now, so...." I dropped my eyes to stare at a very interesting pattern on the carpet, unable to look him in the eye as I finished, my voice trailing off.

"Very good. Let's get this party started then, yes?" he asked as he approached the table where I sat and patted my knee gently. "Lie back on the table and we'll get this out of the way, then talk in my office, no?"

Dr. Gonzalez placed his hands inside the robe. He was careful to allow as much modesty as possible while being impossibly thorough, opening one side at a time as he completed the breast exam. He ran through the gamut of standard questions that accompanied every yearly exam about diet, exercise, and any new issues he needed to be aware of.

I stiffened as he finished the breast exam and moved down to uncover my torso so he could palpate my abdomen for any problems. Though I really didn't have an issue being completely uncovered in front of Edward, my body and mind reacted to the surroundings and I was instantly uncomfortable.

It didn't escape Dr. Gonzalez's or Connie's watchful eyes.

"Bella, dear, I'm going to do the rest of your exam now. I know this is difficult for you. I'll be as quick as possible and we'll be finished soon, yes?" Dr. Gonzalez looked into my eyes with the kind smile and quiet reassurance I needed at that moment.

I took a deep breath as I felt the tears burning at the back of my eyes and fought to keep them in check while trying to relax my body and I nodded.

"Okay, I'm now going to do the pelvic exam, so I need you to move your bottom to the end of the table and we'll be all finished."

I nodded and scooted down the table, placing my feet in the stirrups. I took deep, cleansing breaths to quell the nausea and to keep the tears at bay.

"All done," Dr. Gonzalez said as he stood from the end of the table, removing his gloves and throwing them in the trash can in the corner. "You get dressed and then Connie will show you into my office. I'll be in to talk with you soon. You have someone who will be joining us also, yes?"

"Yes, sir. Edward, my...." I hesitated for a split second because I wasn't sure what to call him. Edward was so much more than my _boyfriend_ but we weren't officially engaged. "My boyfriend."

"Very good," Dr. Gonzalez said, patting my knee once again as he passed. "I will see both of you in a few moments then."

Connie squeezed my shoulder as she made her way out of the room behind the doctor.

I quickly redressed and tried to get my emotions under control. The lightness I felt before the exam had rapidly been replaced by a knot of fear in the pit of my stomach and I was dreading the next part of the visit more than I had previously.

Placing the robe and throw in the hamper behind the table, I made my way out of the exam room and saw Connie standing at the nurse's station with another patient. I motioned to the waiting room to let her know I was going to retrieve Edward before she took us to Dr. Gonzalez's office.

I saw Edward as soon as I opened the door to the waiting room, and instantly my body relaxed - until I took in his posture. Edward sat stiffly on the edge of the sofa, his forearms resting on his thighs with his long fingers laced together and hanging between his knees. Edward seemed completely entranced with his hands at the moment and so lost in thought that he was oblivious to my presence until I ran my fingers through the hair at the back of his head.

Edward's eyes snapped to mine and he stood immediately, wrapping me in an embrace as though he had not seen me in years.

"Bella," he sighed.

For a moment I truly worried about what Connie did to him while I was in the exam room. But it slowly became apparent that Edward was even more worried about this appointment than I realized, and when I wrapped my arms around his body I felt a tremor run through him.

"Edward? Are you okay?" I asked on a breath.

"Yes, I am now. Is everything okay? I...." Edward pulled back to look me in the eye, inspecting every millimeter of my face.

I needed to do something to break some of his tension and quick. We couldn't both fall apart, not yet at least.

"Wow! What did Connie do to you? Did she traumatize you with her advances and requests for you to be her new cabana boy?"

Edward stared at me for a moment as if I had lost my mind or sprouted a third eyeball before he chuckled and pulled me into another hug.

"No, she was actually really nice after you went back. She didn't hit on me at all. I'm not sure if I should be relieved or insulted," he joked.

I laughed and was able to relax a bit more knowing Edward was a little more at ease.

I took Edward's hand and led him back through the door to find Connie.

Twenty minutes later, Dr. Gonzalez entered the room and I introduced him to Edward.

"So, Bella, you have questions, no?"

"Yes, sir," I looked over at Edward and he nodded, taking my hand in his. "I know that when...well, last year, that there were things you wanted to explain to me and I'm sorry that-"

"No, no, Bella. No apologies, the events of last year were very traumatizing and you were not ready to hear it at the time. Very understandable, my dear."

Edward squeezed my hand and I smiled wearily at him, fighting the tears and swallowing thickly as I struggled to gain control over my emotions.

"Can you explain to me what happened? Why...." my voice broke and I couldn't complete the question, but Dr. Gonzalez smiled sadly.

"Yes, dear child, I'll explain. As you know, Bella, you had an extreme case of endometriosis which we treated with laparoscopic interventions several times over the last few years. The adhesion's discovered and removed during the last intervention were quite extensive. Unfortunately, there was an adhesion which had regrown shortly after your last procedure. When you discovered you were pregnant, the adhesion was not seen on any of the ultrasounds performed at that time. Fortunately, the adhesion had attached to the abdominal wall and no other vital organs. The problem arose as the pregnancy progressed and your baby grew. The strain and stress on that adhesion from the changes to your uterus eventually proved too much for the uterine wall and it ruptured.

"The uterus was irreparably damaged, leading to the need for the hysterectomy, there was no other option." Dr. Gonzalez met my gaze with a sympathetic look.

"Why.... the baby?" I asked, my voice shaky.

Dr. Gonzalez took a deep breath and removed his glasses to rub his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose. I had seen Edward do that numerous times in an effort to gather his thoughts and prepare himself before explaining something that he was struggling with. I assumed it was the same thing Dr. Gonzalez was doing at the moment.

"Bella, by the time you arrived at the hospital, and with the amount of blood volume loss due to the rupture, you, as well as the baby, were barely hanging on, and sadly we were unable to save her. There was nothing that we could do and she was lost before we could get you to surgery. The additional complications of her being premature stacked too many factors against any possibility of survival. I have so many times wished there was something more I could have done, and I am so very sorry I was unable to do so."

There was no fighting the sob that ripped from my chest and Edward pulled me into him, whispering soothing words into my hair. I couldn't help the overwhelming sadness that gripped my heart; it was like reliving the day all over again, only this time I didn't have the luxury of being numb with medication.

"So, the hysterectomy was necessary to save Bella's life, but there was no damage to other organs, correct?" Edward asked, speaking for the first time since Dr. Gonzalez began his explanations. "What....what about..." Edward's voice trailed off, thick with emotion as he tried to formulate the very question that brought us here.

"Yes, that is correct. But you are wondering about Bella's ovaries, yes?" Dr. Gonzalez asked.

"Yes, sir."

"No, the ovaries were not damaged and they were not removed along with the uterus. There were other adhesion's noted and treated at the time of the hysterectomy, but the overall health of the ovaries was within normal limits."

"So...you....Bella still has her ovaries? She can...we can...." Edward stammered as we both tried to comprehend what Dr. Gonzalez had just told us.  
_  
My ovaries were not damaged? They were still intact and healthy?_

I sat up straight, pulling away slightly from Edward and looking directly into Dr. Gonzalez's warm dark eyes as he nodded and smiled for the first time since beginning this discussion.

"Wait....I don't understand.....Dr. Gonzalez, you told me it was a miracle I got pregnant at all." I looked between Edward and Dr. Gonzalez in complete confusion, hoping someone would explain what the hell he was saying, because I was pretty sure I needed someone to say it out loud so I could be absolutely positive I understood.

"The fact that you were able to become pregnant through _conventional _means was a miracle, yes. Not that you were able to become pregnant, Bella. With the amount of damage to your fallopian tubes, I was sure that we would go through many rounds of infertility treatments and probably in-vitro fertilization to get a baby for you. Up to that day, your pregnancy developed surprisingly normally. You continue to have the ability to produce children, it's just no longer possible for this to happen conventionally, but through a surrogate? Yes."

I felt my jaw come unhinged and my heart stutter to a stop as his words hit me.

_I can still have children.....Edward and I can have children?_

The words were like an ice bucket to raw nerves as they tumbled over and over inside my head. I felt the world around me darken and go black.

**EPOV**

The words that we had been waiting to hear for weeks....months really, were finally spoken. I was in complete shock. The one thing I wanted for Bella, for me, for us as a couple, was finally a reality and I couldn't move.

I turned to look at Bella and she sat stiffly in the chair still holding my hand.

"Bella?" I asked, watching as all the color washed from her face and she fell forward from her chair.

"Bella!" I moved as quickly as possible, catching her just before she hit the floor, and swept her into my arms.

"Quickly, bring her here," Dr. Gonzalez said as he led me to a room with a reclining leather chair.

Looking around the room quickly, I realized it must be the area the phlebotomist used to draw blood. I laid Bella down in the chair, moving to the side and trying to stay out of the way, but there was no way I was leaving her completely.

"Bella....Bella, baby, wake up." I took her hand in mine, kissing her palm. I knelt by her head stroking her hair.

Connie entered the room right behind Dr. Gonzalez. She released some lever on the back and the chair reclined, putting Bella's feet above her head, and Dr. Gonzalez broke a smelling salts packet under her nose.

The smell of ammonia was enough to make my eyes water and I released the breath I had been holding as I saw Bella's lids begin to flutter.

"That's it, baby, wake up," I whispered, stroking her hair.

"Edward..." Bella said in barely a whisper, her eyes slowly fluttering open.

"Hey, there," I smiled at her and caressed her cheek. "You scared me, sweetheart."

"Ah, there she is," Dr. Gonzalez said enthusiastically, smiling at Bella and me.

Dr. Gonzalez seemed to care for Bella as though she were his daughter more than his patient, and it made me smile that Bella had this man as her doctor.

"Oh, God.....did I pass out?" Bella's eyes widened as the realization hit her.

"Yeah, baby, you did," I said, bending to press a kiss to her forehead.

I took a deep breath before pulling away and looking into Bella's eyes. I could see the embarrassment shining there as well as a sadness I had not seen in quite some time. The embarrassment didn't surprise me; I knew Bella would be mortified about passing out, but the sadness scared me a little.

I understood so much more now about why Bella just accepted the fact she could not have children. She never believed she could have them in the first place, so losing a child that she hadn't thought possible was more devastating that I could comprehend.

Connie brought Bella some juice and took her vitals. Dr. Gonzalez assessed her one more time before allowing us to finally leave the office half an hour later, after answering a few more questions I had.

Bella was quiet on the ride home, though each time I asked she would turn to smile and assure me she was fine before turning to stare out the window once again.

I brought Bella's hand to my lips, hoping to remind her I was here and that I wasn't going anywhere.

"Bella, baby, I think we-"

"Edward, I know," she cut me off. "I know and I promise we'll talk about this.....I just need a little bit, okay?"

I released a breath and should have found comfort in the fact that Bella was at least acknowledging the need to talk, but the flatness of her reply along with the way she continued to stare out the window without looking at me sent a cold chill down my spine.

I knew that Bella needed time to process what we found out today, but in all honesty this reaction was the one I feared the most. The fear of how easily we could slip back into old habits, and not talking about this sat heavily on my heart. Bella needed time to absorb all the information we received, and I would give her that; I could be patient for the time being. I nodded my head and kept my thoughts to myself for now...

I couldn't deny the unbelievable elation I felt knowing we would indeed be able to have a child one day, and it hit me square in the chest like a wrecking ball that we really could have a baby one day.

We didn't speak for a long moment; the only sound within the car was that of the music from the radio until I heard Bella sniffle and caught her wiping at her face. I squeezed her hand as I continued to hold it in my lap. It broke my heart to see her hurting like this and not being able to take it away, but I was helpless if she wouldn't talk to me.

I flinched when Bella spoke, breaking the silence.

"Can you turn here?"

"Um...yeah," glancing at Bella from the corner of my eye, I felt my brow crease with confusion. "I....where are we going, Bella?" I asked as I made the turn onto the little dirt road.

Somewhere in my mind, a familiarity rang as I took in the landscape, but I didn't quite remember why I knew where we were headed or why she would want to go down this dirt back road.

"I just need to..." she said, trailing off as she turned looking up at me as a tear rolled down her face. "You'll see....I just-" her words cut off as she turned back toward the road, wiping the tear away with the back of her hand, shaking her head.

I followed her gaze and my heart jumped into my throat as the tiny white church came into view. Instantly I knew where we were. Suddenly I was very much aware of the reason we would be going to the church where Bella's family had attended for a hundred years. I swallowed and glanced at Bella quickly, unsure if I was ready for what Bella needed from me at this moment.

"Bella...." I murmured, gently tightening my hold on her hand and looking at her for confirmation.

She turned to look at me and nodded her head, silently answering my unspoken question about her reasons for wanting to come here now.

I put the car in park, cut the engine, and took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly before turning to look at Bella. She sat silently, staring over the church yard with a look I couldn't decipher on her face.

"Be-" I stopped as she suddenly opened her door and was out of the car, walking toward the church.

I exited the car and quickly caught up with her, taking her hand in mine and squeezing slightly to gain her attention. Bella turned to smile warily at me and squeezed my hand, but didn't say anything as we continued toward the cemetery located behind the little country church. My heart thundered in my chest, knowing that my initial suspicions were right as we made our way through the headstones marking the places where so many of Bella's ancestors were laid to rest.

I heard a whimper escape Bella's lips and her hand covered her mouth as we reached an area near the back of the cemetery. I followed her gaze to see a white marble bench situated beside a diminutive granite headstone with a tiny resting lamb carved from the stone and the name _Carlie Anne Crowley_ etched in the face.

Wrapping my arm around Bella, I felt her knees give. I scooped her up and sat on the bench, placing her in my lap.

"Oh, God, Bella.....shhh....baby, please.....I'm here, baby, I'm so sorry, shhh," I whispered in her ear. Placing a hand on her head, I held her to me as she sank into my arms and cried.

I tried to sooth her as best I could, but it was useless as there was no stopping the traitorous tear that fell down my own cheek as I held her in my arms. I stroked a hand over her hair and down her back over and over as I held her face to my chest, whispering my love for her until she calmed.

"I'm sorry, I'm such a basket case....I'm sorry everything is so difficult and complicated all the time....I just-"

"Bella, stop. It's okay, what we found out was a shock. Hell, I'm pretty much still speechless, myself."

"Edward," she sighed, shaking her head, and I quirked an eyebrow at her in question. "I didn't think I would _ever_ have a child. _Ever_. I've had more laparoscopic procedures and DNC's and.....you name it, I've had it over the last several years. I thought I couldn't have children _at all_ .......and then by some miracle I got pregnant," her breath hitched and she wiped the tears from her face and took a deep breath as she turned to look at Carlie's grave.

"I...when I found out...I thought it was divine intervention. I had prayed so many times, so hard for just the chance....and well, there I was pregnant and it was just beyond all comprehension. And then just as quickly....." her voice broke and she closed her eyes, shaking her head as if trying to clear the images that were running through her mind.

I swallowed the lump in my own throat as a single tear leaked from the corner of her eye and without thought I reached up to wipe it away with my thumb, cupping her cheek. I pressed my lips to her forehead, and as I pulled away, Bella opened her eyes and smiled sadly before continuing.

"It was all gone, Edward. She was just gone, everything was gone.....I couldn't...and now," she buried her face in my chest once again, snaking her arms around my waist and I tightened my hold on her.

"Bella, honey, it's okay.....it's going to be okay."

We sat at the cemetery for a long while; Bella eventually removed herself from my lap and knelt, pulling any of the stray weeds that were growing around Carlie's grave. Bella told me that she actually came every week to replace the flowers with fresh and I had no idea. My heart ached a little at the thought that Bella had kept those visits from me, but I fought to understand her reasoning. This was her child's final resting place; it was sacred to her, and until recently Bella had been unable to open up to anyone about what happened to her.

Once Bella was satisfied that every offending weed was removed and the headstone was clean, she stood and reached for my hand. I wrapped my arm around her waist as we made our way back to the car in silence.

Bella was quiet all through dinner. We made small talk about nothing in particular, but there were long periods of heavy silence. Bella pushed her food around more than ate anything.

"I'm going to take a bath, okay," she called, putting the last of the dishes in the dishwasher before she made her way out of the kitchen and down the hall, not waiting for a response.

I grabbed a beer from the fridge and released a heavy sigh. I knew Bella needed some time, and I would give her that, but I couldn't help feeling lost in how to help her through what she was feeling right now.

Sitting down in my chair, I flipped absently through several channels without paying any attention to what was on before turning it off and staring at the blank screen.

My cell phone began vibrating and I fished it out of my pocket, flipping it open without even checking the ID.

"Hello?"

"Oh my gosh, Edward, finally! I have been on pins and needles all day, why didn't you call me as soon as the appointment was over? I've been completely beside myself. Really? It's pretty inconsiderate of you, ya know. Not to let us know anything at all and I-"

"Alice," I growled, really not in the mood at the moment for my overly excited and nosy as hell sister. "Give it a rest and take a breath, for Pete's sake. I haven't exactly been up to calling anyone, okay?"

"Oh, um....I'm gonna take that as it didn't really go as well as you were hoping. I'm sorry, Edward. I really thought that you guys would get good news. I'm so sorry," Alice said quietly, much more subdued and sounding as if she was on the verge of tears.

"I'm sorry, I just.....we did get good news, Alice," I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

"Uh....okay. If you got good news, why do you sound so upset? Is Bella okay?" Alice asked, confusion clear in her voice.

"I don't know, Alice. She's taking a bath at the moment, she's having a hard time right now....The appointment went well overall and it _was_ good news. We..." I paused taking another deep breath, running a hand through my hair over and over. "We visited Carlie's grave...."

I heard Alice's gasp, and when she spoke I could hear the tears in her voice.

"Oh, God, Edward....are you okay? I know that had to be incredibly hard for you. Bella goes out there pretty often, doesn't she?" she asked.

"Yeah, she does....I had no idea she was doing that." I sighed heavily and scrubbed a hand over my face, suddenly feeling extremely tired. "Listen, I know you and the rest of the family are anxious to hear about what happened today, but....honestly, Bella and I need to just digest everything before we say anything. Okay? I'm sorry, can you understand that though? Please?" I asked, hoping that my sister would know I wasn't up to spelling out all the details from the day at the moment.

"Well...." Alice hesitated and I knew how hard it was for her to let this go for the time being. "Yeah, Edward, I can understand that. I'm holding onto the fact that you said it was good news, but I'll let it be.....for now. Just don't make me wait long. Give Bella a hug for me, k?"

I chuckled, but made my promise that she would be the first person I called and we said our goodbyes. Deciding to go check on Bella, I finished off my beer and tossed the bottle in the trash on my way to our room.

Standing outside the bathroom door, I hesitated, contemplating my next move. I ached to just go to Bella and make sure she was okay and that desire was at war with trying to give Bella a little more time.

The decision was made for me when I heard what sounded like Bella sobbing inside the room. I was through the door and in the tub, wrapping her in my arms, before I could even think about my actions or her reaction to them. I held her close to me for a long moment before she whispered into my chest.

"Edward?"

"Yes, baby."

"Um..." she paused and sighed without raising her head. For a moment I thought I heard her giggle, but couldn't be sure. "Do you realize you're in the tub fully clothed?"

I snorted, "Uh, yeah....I realized that about thirty seconds after I jumped in, but that wasn't real high on the priority list at the time."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Bella...baby, what are you sorry for? That my clothes are soaked? Really?" I craned my neck to try to see her face without releasing my hold on her at all, knowing full well that she wasn't talking about my clothes, but I wanted to break some of the tension at the moment.

"No..."

"Bella, please talk to me. I can't...I'm going crazy not knowing what you're thinking," I whispered into her neck.

She turned in my arms, straddling my thighs and folding her arms between us, she leaned into my chest. I held her for a long moment before she pulled back to look at me. I could see her eyes were shining with tears, but she smiled and my heart skipped a beat.

"Edward," she sighed, framing my face with her small hands. I tightened my arms, running my hands up the bare skin of her back, flattening my palms and holding her closer to me.

"I'm sorry that I've been kind of nuts today," she paused, looking into my eyes as she caressed my cheeks with her thumbs. "Love me, Edward. I need you, so much," she begged, running her fingers through my hair as she moved to press her lips to mine in a slow, gentle kiss.

"Bella..." I moaned into her mouth as she parted her lips, deepening our kiss.

There were so many emotions poured into that one kiss that, for a moment I hesitated, questioning whether taking her in her current state was the best idea. Even though my dick was screaming at my brain to shut the hell up and make love to the woman, I still hesitated. As much as I would like to think I'm stronger than my baser instincts, Bella's next words made the decision for me, and just like entering the room I had no further thought.

"Please," she said, pulling away slightly and looking into my eyes. "I know.....but I just need you to love me tonight."

I couldn't deny her _ever, _and if what she needed at that moment was for me to show her my love for her in this way, to hold her, to make love to her, then I damn sure wasn't going to argue. I stood with her wrapped around my waist and carefully stepped out of the tub.

Laying Bella down on the bed, I kissed her softly before pulling away to strip out of my wet clothes.

"Bella, baby....I love you," I whispered softly against her lips, as I stretched out alongside her body.

"I love you, too, Edward," she sighed, wrapping her arms around my neck and threading her fingers in my hair, pulling me into a gentle kiss.

I rolled to settle between her thighs and there was no more need for words, for now we allowed our bodies to express what we needed from the other. As I entered her, our mutual groans of pleasure were the only sounds, our desire to connect and ground one another, reminding each other that regardless of what got thrown at us, we were always going to be here, together.

~*~

Waking the next morning, I rolled over and reached to Bella's side of the bed only to find it empty. My eyes flashed open and I sat up quickly, scanning the room.

"Bella?" I called, noting there was no light on in the bathroom.

It was still early, the sun just peaking over the horizon and throwing purple hues throughout the room. Bella was always an early riser, but I didn't expect her to be out of bed this early. I listened for sounds of her within the house as the list of places she could be ran through my head. I felt my brow crease when I didn't hear movement anywhere inside the house.

Throwing the covers off my body, I slid on a pair of pajama pants and padded out of the bedroom. I peeked in the office and music room, nothing. I fought back the panic building in my chest when she wasn't in the kitchen like I expected. She was no where to be found.

I turned to grab my cell phone from the counter, intending to call her thinking maybe she had gone to the barn, when something caught my eye through the window. I was just able to make out her tiny figure in the gaining light, standing under the oak tree, watching the sun rise.

I walked back to the bedroom to grab a shirt and paused at the door to slide on my boots before making my way through the back yard. I stopped a few feet from her, my heart clenched at the sight of her standing there, alone, hugging what looked like a baby's quilt around her shoulders.

"Good morning."

The sound of her voice suddenly breaking the silence made me jump. Recovering quickly, I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around her middle, pulling her back into my chest.

I bent to place a kiss to her shoulder, then her neck, before whispering, "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too, Edward."

"Bella, please tell me what you're thinking."

"Edward, I'm so sorry about yesterday....but I want you to know I could not be happier about what we know now......I guess I was in shock and I'm sorry, I just-"

"Bella, baby, don't apologize for being shocked over what we found out," I smiled and tightened my hold on her. "I just want you to know that I'm here and that you can talk to me, always. Okay?"

Bella turned to face me, snaking her arms around my waist and smiling up at me. "I know, and...that's kind of what I was standing out here thinking about.......our future and how different it is now than it was yesterday."

"I like the sound of that," I smiled and brushed my lips over hers.

"What?"

"_Our_ future. It has a really nice ring to it."

Bella snickered and buried her face in my chest, "I love you so much, Edward...."

* * *

**E/N: Okie dokie there it is the doctor's appointment....Many of you have expressed how nervous you all were for this chapter, hopefully you enjoyed it.**

**Okay I haven't done a rec for a story in quite a long time but there is a story that Jessica1971 put me on to and I just have to tell you it's captured me totally. The premise is something very different. I have not read any other fic similar to it and the writing is phenomenal. So go check it out, it's called.....****Spirit to Flesh by LittleWing2 the link is in my fav's. **

**Thanks again to all you guys, you are the best....xoxoxoxoxoxo  
**


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. The storyline here is owned by the author. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: Of course my thanks go out to Jessica1971. She's the most amazing beta and just truly one of the best people I have had the pleasure to call a friend. **

**I also want to thank all the new readers who have found the story. Thank you so very much and I'm so glad that you have joined the party!  
**

**There's a bit of business at the bottom so please read the A/N there. **

* * *

Chapter 30 Futures and beginnings

BPOV

I awoke with a start, breathing heavily and my heart pounding in my chest. I ran a hand through my hair, propping an arm on my knee as I tried to calm down, the images flashing through my mind making it almost impossible to think straight.

_Did yesterday really happen? Could it even be possible...?_

Sighing heavily, I realized that the events of the previous day did indeed happen and that it was very much real. A small smile pulled at the corners of my mouth as I turned, taking in Edward's sleeping form sprawled out on his stomach, the sheet draped low across his hips. He lay with his arms folded under his pillow and his lips slightly parted as he snored lightly.

I loved seeing him like that, so vulnerable and completely relaxed. I knew the day before had been incredibly difficult for him, as much as if not more than it was for me. I reached out to run my fingers lightly through the silky strands of his unruly mop of hair, trying not to wake him.

"I love you," I whispered, kissing his temple softly before slipping out of bed.

I grabbed a pair of pajama bottoms and a tank on my way to the bathroom and quickly ran through my morning routine, throwing my hair up in a messy bun on top of my head and brushing my teeth.

I glanced at Edward, who had not moved a muscle since I left him, and smiled at how innocent and young he truly looked lying there. It struck me how different things would be in our future together, completely different from how it was just yesterday.

I knew that no matter what we found out from Dr. Gonzalez, our future would be forever changed; I just had no idea how much. Finding out that it was possible for us to have a child, though it would never happen conventionally and it would not be easy, just having the opportunity to bring a baby into the world was more than I could allow myself to consider before yesterday.

I quietly padded through the house on my way to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee before making my way out the back door toward the old oak tree. For whatever reason, I found peace in that spot. It was one of the places that I had always been able to just go and think.

Even after all that Edward and I had been through over the last several months...well, years if I was being completely honest, it still shocked me how much life could change in the blink of an eye. Up until the words came out of Dr. Gonzalez's mouth yesterday, though my future was with Edward regardless, I knew that for us our future consisted of a family of two, unless we adopted a child. I was totally and utterly fine with that; I knew I could love a baby regardless of whether it was biologically mine or not. But the desire to _have_ a child, to give Edward that one thing, was something that gripped my heart.

When I realized I was pregnant with Carlie the emotions that enveloped me were beyond anything I had ever felt. Carrying that little life inside me was simply indescribable.

The first time I felt her move, I thought my heart would burst with joy. Though Tyler and I had our problems, I could see he was excited about the baby, as well. He and I made a lot of mistakes over our time together, but that baby was not one of them. Things between us ended horribly, much of it brought to a head after I lost Carlie and he showed his true colors, but I would not, could not, ever regret the child we created together. That knowledge, the fact that Tyler and I had created a beautiful little life together even though we were never meant to be....and that I would not be able to give that same thing to Edward, the man who held every part of my soul in the palm of his hand, was more painful than I could put into words.

But now...it was all different and I couldn't be happier than I was at that moment. So I stood there, wrapped in a quilt my grandmother Swan made by hand and gave my mother when I was born, watching the sun peek over the horizon as a smile spread across my face.

I heard the back door open and felt Edward's presence the moment he stepped onto the deck. It struck me just how strong the physical pull I felt toward him truly was and how much my entire body called to him. I didn't turn to acknowledge him, instead gathering my thoughts, deciding what I wanted to say to him, waiting until his footsteps stopped a short distance behind me. I knew he was struggling with what to say, as only Edward would.

_He over thinks everything...._

I snorted quietly at that thought, the similarities between us truly scary at times. Though I couldn't blame him for his hesitation after the craziness of my emotional state over the last twenty-four hours, my heart clenched at the knowledge he was unsure about how best to approach me, so I decided to let him off easy and I spoke up first.

"Good morning."

It seemed that my greeting lifted a weight from his shoulders, and his arms encircled my waist as he placed a gentle kiss to my shoulder and neck, whispering his love for me.

His warm breath brushing across my skin caused me to shiver and I smiled as I returned his sentiment, knowing with all my heart it was true. Edward begged me to tell him what I was thinking, and there were so many things I wanted to tell him. My mind was full of so many things, so much to think about and discuss.

I decided the best place to start was taking care of the crazy that was oozing from me the day before and tried to apologize. I wanted him to know how sorry I was for making him feel as though I wasn't beside myself with happiness about the news.

I couldn't hold in the girlie giggle that fell from my lips when he told me how much he liked the sound of _our future. _But it was just that, we had the rest of our lives laid out in front of us, and now we would not be just us. One day in the future, we would be a family. Trying to wrap my head around that concept after all the years of believing it would never happen was overwhelming, but I truly could not be more ecstatic.

I couldn't hold it in and the giggle escaped me again as I buried my face in Edward's chest, "I love you, so much, Edward...."

He tightened his arms around me, crushing me to him in a tight embrace and rocking us from side to side.

"So....." Edward trailed off and I could hear the hesitation in his voice.

"What?" I asked pulling back to look up at him.

"Alice called last night and, well..."

"Oh, lord," I groaned. "I bet she's bouncin' off the walls, isn't she?" I asked, shaking my head.

Knowing Alice, she was probably already gathering the family together to come over and get the full, blow by blow run down of what the doctor said.

"Yep, she wasn't real happy when I told her we needed a little time just to absorb everything and that we would call her today. I sort of had to promise to call her first," Edward said sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders as that crooked grin pulled at his lips.

"Well, come on, let's get some breakfast and then call your sister before she busts a gut or completely drives Jasper over the edge."

Edward laughed and hugged me to him again, pressing his lips to my hair and whispering, "I love you."

I kissed his chest before pulling away and taking his hand, leading him back toward the house.

~*~

"Eeeeeee!!!!"

"Alice," I said, holding the phone away from my ear and grimacing at the decibel levels she was reaching. "Please stop squealing like that."

"But Bella, I'm so excited for you...for both of you. I can't believe it really, oh my gosh!"

"I know, it was a pretty big shock...to both of us."

"Yeah...um," Alice said, her voice suddenly quiet. "Edward told me you guys visited Carlie's grave. I know that must have been difficult for you, to take him there."

My breath hitched in my throat and I cleared it before acknowledging how difficult that visit truly had been.

"Yeah, it was hard and I know that Edward was surprised that I go there so often and didn't say anything, but....I just couldn't for a while."

"I understand that, Bella. Honestly, Edward does, too. You guys have come a long way over the last few months and I'm so happy for both of you."

Alice and I continued to talk for another half hour, switching topics to finalizing plans for Rosalie's baby shower the following weekend and eventually saying our goodbyes after making plans to have lunch early the next week.

"Well, that seemed to go well," Edward said as he plopped down beside me on the couch.

I smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder, "Yep, it did. She was overly excited as you would expect."

"So who's next? You gonna call your mom or you want to go talk with Rosalie first. I'm sure that Alice is on her way over to the main house right now to spread the news to my parent's."

"I think I better call my mom first."

Edward nodded and draped an arm around my shoulders as I dialed the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, momma."

"Bella! Hey, baby girl, how are you?"

The next half hour was spent relaying every minute detail of what occurred during my doctor's appointment and her reaction was reminiscent of Alice's, only a few decibel's lower.

Edward milled around the house while I talked with my mother, finally returning to the family room to sit across from me in his chair and stare at me with the biggest, goofiest grin on his face.

"What?" I asked, fighting the smile on my own face after I ended the call. Edward was wearing nothing but a pair of faded Cinch jeans with a rip at one knee and that goofy grin.

The light spattering of hair across his chest and stomach drew my eyes down the trial below his belly button until it disappeared into the waistband of his jeans.

"Nothing, you're just really cute when you get all flustered," he chuckled, and I chucked a throw pillow at him, which he caught in mid air, of course.

"You suck, you know that?" I pouted, but couldn't help laughing.

"Eh, I can live with that," he chuckled. "So, what's the plan, milady, for the rest of the day?"

Being as it was Saturday, we really didn't have to report to the barn for anything unless I wanted to run through a training session, and though I probably should, I just wanted to spend the day goofing off with Edward.

"How 'bout I pack us a lunch and we go for a ride out to the river? Maybe we could go out to our spot and just spend the day?" I asked.

Edward smiled and slowly stood from his chair, crossing the small space to where I sat on the sofa. In the span of a few seconds, the look on his face went from playful to almost predatory the closer he got to me, and I watched his eyes darken. I felt my heart slamming against my chest as he got closer. My breathing hitched in my throat as he placed his hands on the back of the couch and leaned over me, effectively caging me between his arms, bringing his lips within millimeters of my own.

His breath fanned over my face as he stared into my eyes for a long moment without saying anything. It was as though I was the most delicious dessert he had ever laid eyes on and he couldn't decide where to start first. My chest rose and fell rapidly as the anticipation of his next move had me frozen in my spot.

"I think," his eyes flickered to my lips and back to look deep into my own. "That I would love spending the day with you anywhere....Isabella," he whispered before covering my mouth with his in a searing kiss.

I moaned into his mouth as my arms snaked around his neck of their own accord. I pulled him closer to me as his one hand ran over my shoulder to my back. Edward placed a knee between my legs as he leaned further into me, shifting and turning my body to press me back into the cushions of the sofa and settling his body between my thighs.

Edward's tongue ran across my bottom lip and I opened to him, allowing the kiss to deepen. My legs tightened around his hips as his fingers dipped under the hem of my tank top, dancing across my ribs as he made his way up to cup my breast in the palm of his large hand. Running the pad of his thumb over my nipple, he released a sexy groan as he met no barrier because I hadn't yet taken time to put on a bra. My body responded immediately to his touch.

I couldn't hold back my moan as I arched into his touch and his long fingers teased my nipple until it was taut and aching for more, my body igniting in a painful pleasure. I tightened my arms around his shoulders, threading my fingers in his hair and holding him to me.

He broke our kiss, trailing his lips down my jaw to my ear and then my neck, nipping at the skin only to then sooth the area with his tongue.

"Ah..." I moaned as he nipped at my collarbone.

Edward's hands pushed my tank further up my body until he removed it completely, then dipping his head to my breast, suckling the nipple and circling his tongue around and then over the tip until I thought I would lose my mind with the desire shooting through my body and settling between my legs.

"You are so beautiful, baby," he whispered against my over heated skin as he kissed across my chest to pay the same attention to the opposite breast.

His hands ghosted over my ribs to grasp my hips as he shifted his body against mine and hissed at the friction it caused. Edward's hands pushed my pants past my hips, sliding his hands over my thighs as he began to pull back, kneeling before me and slipping my pants off completely before covering my body with his once again.

I felt his desire press against me, making my body hum with need. I ran my hands down his back, feeling the muscles contract and relax, almost quivering under my touch. My fingertips traced just under the waistband of his jeans and slid between our bodies. Edward lifted himself just enough for me to be able to work his belt loose before popping the buttons on his fly. Slipping my hands back around the top of his hips, I pushed both inside the waistband and guided his jeans off, pausing to grasp his tight ass teasingly and eliciting a growl from Edward as he kissed his way back up my neck.

"Careful there, darlin'," he warned, his voice deep and husky.

I tried to suppress the shiver that ran through my body at the sound and sensation of the vibration against my skin.

My body was humming with need for him and I whimpered when Edward pulled away slightly to kick his jeans off before settling between my thighs once again. I groaned as I felt his hand slide between us and his long fingers began teasing me in gentle circles. He was driving me to the very edge before pulling me back slowly, then pushing me to the brink once again.

"Please, Edward," I begged.

"Hmmm....I think I'm enjoying this," he murmured as he pressed a finger inside me, quickly following it with another as I gasped with the pleasure that shot through me.

Edward played my body like he would one of his instruments, and it sang for him just as they did. The music he elicited from my body was the most delicious symphony, and as he finally let me fall over the edge, I cried out as wave after wave of ecstasy ripped me apart.

"That is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen....watching you like that," Edward pressed his lips to mine in a slow gentle kiss as I came back down.

I gasped as he entered me and felt my body respond as it only did to him. Our bodies moved together and I felt the familiar tightening building once again. Edward's rhythm increased as he dragged his lips over my neck, whispering his love and desire for me into my skin. His hands held my hips, fingers biting into my flesh as his whispers soon became low, rough grunts of pleasure. Edward's body stiffened and he called out my name in a guttural growl as his release claimed him and my body exploded once again with undiluted euphoria.

~*~

I called Rosalie and filled her in on the finer points of the appointment; there were a few tears on both our parts. Rosalie's hormones were getting the better of her the further along she got in her pregnancy, so she had become much more emotional over the last couple of weeks.

Edward decided that a call to his parents could wait as he was sure Alice had already spread the news and he expected to hear from Esme sometime during the day in response. So instead of making yet another phone call, we made our way to the barn to set off on our day of just....us.

We reached our little hideaway by the river by early afternoon. After watering the horses Edward hobbled them and removed their tack, while I spread out a blanket and began unpacking our lunch.

"What'cha got there, baby," Edward asked as he stretched out next to me, propping himself up on one bent elbow.

"Well, let's see," I snickered, pausing and glancing at Edward from the corner of my eye. "You have your choice of ....peanut butter and jelly… or jelly and peanut butter."

Edward's lips curled into that crooked grin I loved before he sighed dramatically, playing along, "Hmmmm.....I guess it'll peanut butter and jelly then."

He reached for the sandwich in my left hand, sitting up slightly and leaning in to place a kiss on my lips, which started out as a chaste closed mouth peck. As soon as his mouth was on mine, it quickly became something much more and I leaned into his body, placing my hand on his chest for balance. Edward curled his free hand around my neck, threading his fingers into my hair as his thumb gently caressed my jaw.

I moaned as his tongue slipped into my mouth, exploring, stroking gently, and slowly pulling back with lighter pecks before pressing his forehead to mine and smiling.

"Wow," I giggled.

"Yeah...wow," Edward chuckled, placing a kiss to my forehead before taking his sandwich and settling back into his previous position.

I grabbed a couple of bottles of water from the cooler and handed one to him before crossing my legs and placing my own sandwich on my knee.

"So..." Edward began, pausing as he ran his fingers through my hair.

It was nice just to have a day to ourselves after the emotional roller coaster ride we took the day before. I knew that Edward was concerned I would shut down and not talk about the things that needed to be said.

Lying with my head resting in Edward's lap, after we finished our lunch, he leaned back on his outstretched arms, just enjoying the quiet and listening to the rushing water of the river. It seemed like the perfect time to make sure he understood how I felt about our future, and that I didn't want to keep anything from him anymore.

"Edward....I want you to understand that I'm so happy about what we found out yesterday," I reached up to cup his cheek. "I know I was sort of, well...emo last night, and....thank you for not pushing me, for just letting me be. But I am so happy. I just want you to know that."

Edward took a deep breath, closing his eyes and leaning into my touch. He turned to place a kiss on my palm before taking my hand in his.

"I know, sweetheart," he said softly as he opened his eyes and looked into mine, he gently squeezed my hand.

Edward cleared his throat and looked as though he had something more he wanted to say, but was struggling with the words.

"I wanted to talk to you about something," Edward said, a slight tinge of hesitation in his voice.

"Um...okay..." I trailed off as a little trickle of uneasiness ran down my spine.

"Well, I wanted to take you on a trip after Christmas. I already worked everything out with Emmett on covering the ranch for the ten days we would be gone." Edward paused, taking a deep breath and blowing it out slowly.

I sat up slowly, turning to look at him. Edward slowly opened his eyes and looked into mine as a small smile began to pull at the corner of my lips.

"You want to go away? Just the two of us? After Christmas?" I asked, unable to fight the smile on my face.

Edward returned my smile and nodded his head.

"And you were worried I wouldn't want to go because.......why?" I asked, confused about why he would think I wouldn't want to take a trip with him...anywhere.

"Well, Bella, it's kind of close to the foaling season and I was afraid you wouldn't be comfortable leaving for such an extended time right before that starts up. That's why I talked with Emmett and have it worked out so that everything is covered, except the training sessions. Laurent can exercise everyone but just not do the training."

"Edward..." I shook my head, still smiling. "I would love to go on a trip. Where are we going?"

"Nope… not telling. It's a surprise; I just wanted to get you to agree to go."

"Oh come on," I groaned, shifting to kneel beside him, placing my hands on his shoulders and shaking him slightly. "You can't tell me you want to take a trip, that you've set it all up to have coverage so we can both go, and then _not_ tell me where we're going."

"Yes, I can," Edward said, laughing as he wrapped his fingers around my wrists, leaning in to press his lips to mine, effectively stopping any further arguments.

"Ugh! Do you know how frustrating you are sometimes?" I glared at him.

"Oh, lord woman, can you say pot meet kettle?" Edward asked, laughing and pulling me into his lap.

I smacked his chest before snaking my arms around his waist and laying my cheek against his chest, enjoying the feel of him holding me.

"Okay," I sighed, "but at least give me a few details. Like climate of the area where we're going. I mean, I have to know what to pack. Is it tropical or a cold climate? And what day are we actually leaving?" I rattled off the list of questions about the _surprise _trip.

Edward laughed and kissed the top of my head before answering my questions as cryptically as possible but still give me the information I requested.

The rest of the day was spent just enjoying being with one another. We stayed at the river until the last possible minute before we had to leave so we wouldn't be on the trail after the sun set.

The days seemed to fly by and meld one into the other as the last days of September slipped into October, which tumbled into November. Before I could comprehend the time passing and hardly catch my breath, the national finals were coming up the following week.

We were all scrambling to get prepared for the trip. I couldn't wait to arrive at the show with Raven and Tig. Both were beyond ready for what awaited them when we got to Dallas-Forth Worth, and the last couple of events had only increased their standings.

I had spoken with Aro recently and he was beyond pleased with Raven's performances. He wanted to talk with us after the finals about standing Raven at stud and our ranch being in charge of that for him, effectively creating a partnership between our ranches in a new breeding program. Edward and Emmett were excited to get involved with some of the bloodlines that would be available to us through the Volturi ranch.

Edward, Laurent, and I were scheduled to leave Monday morning and wouldn't be back for over a week, returning the day before Thanksgiving.

The finals were something special and we planned to stay for the entire event, not just the ones we were featured in. The quality of horseflesh that ran through the facility over the eight day event was beyond comprehension.

The auction held during the event would give us an opportunity to scout out some new brood mares to add to our ever increasing herd, and hopefully a few that would benefit the tentative breeding program with the Volturi.

Emmett was none to happy about not attending with us, but Rosalie was due to give birth any day. There was no way I was letting him go, much less his wife allowing him to tag along. It just wasn't going to happen.

I led Raven into the barn to untack him and wash him down after a particularly intense training session. I was mentally running over all the things I needed to get done before we left on Monday. I knew Edward was a bit suspicious of the lame excuse I gave him about running some errands. I knew he didn't understand why I didn't want him going with me because that pretty much never happened, but I was picking up his Christmas present so I didn't want him seeing it before I could get it hidden inside the house.

Mr. Jamersn called last week but I hadn't been able to get away with any type of decent excuse that wouldn't make Edward more suspicious than he already was.

I made my way through the barn in search of Edward to tell him I was heading out. I found him at the backside of the barn with Laurent doing a collection from Diablo.

From the looks of it, Diablo was being less than cooperative. I cringed as I saw him bite Peanut, the tease mare, pretty severely before Laurent could get him away from her; there were more than a few expletives uttered as he fought to get him under control.

Edward stood just to the side of the mounting dummy with a scowl on his face, watching as Diablo finally calmed and Laurent led him down the hall away from the mare until he could get a bit more control. Edward turned to check Peanut, cursing under his breath as he examined the injured area on her left hip.

I released a low whistle and grimaced as I walked up behind Edward, inspecting the injury a bit closer.

"That looks like it hurts," I said.

"Yeah, it does, but luckily it's superficial. More bruising than anything," Edward answered, continuing to examine the bite wound before turning his head to look at me with that cocky smirk on his face. "Nothing the good doctor can't heal," he quipped as he walked over to the shelf he kept salves and antiseptics for occasions such as this. I noticed him reach into the small refrigerator for the antibiotic and grab a syringe as well.

"Whatever," I snorted, rolling my eyes, but knowing that he was absolutely right. Edward was one of the best equine vets I had ever known, and it wasn't because I was biased....he just was.

"So, you heading out on your _errands_?" he asked as he walked back to where I still stood beside Peanut, looking at the bite wound and grimacing at the site of the obvious teeth marks and swollen flesh.

Turning to look at him, I could see the amused look on his face although I knew it was driving him nuts not to know what I was up to other than running errands today. I had dry cleaning that needed to be picked up as well as returning some of Rosalie's gifts from the shower a couple of weeks ago. She received duplicates of a few things and wasn't really feeling up to dragging herself to the store, so I volunteered to take care of it for her. Regardless of Edward's curiosity and suspiciousness, I wasn't really lying. The fact of the matter was that _I was _running errands, I just happened to be picking up his gift which he didn't need to know about.

"Yes," I smiled innocently. "I was just coming to tell you I was leaving and that I would bring home something for dinner. Chinese sound okay? I've got a craving for some moo goo gia pan or sweet and sour chicken...or maybe some Mongolian beef."

"Good lord, baby, are you hungry?" Edward laughed as he applied the antiseptic cream to the wound before drawing up an injection of the antibiotic.

"Yes! I haven't had lunch. I'm freakin' starving, aren't you?" I asked incredulously, placing my hands on my hips.

Edward shook his head and laughed again. I winced a little as he administered the injection. Though I had seen it done a thousand times, it always made me cringe whenever the needle broke the skin.

"Yeah, actually I kind of am, how long before you'll be home?" he asked, patting Peanut on the neck before Johnathan led her back to her stall.

After informing Edward I would probably be gone for a couple of hours and making plans to meet at home by six, I made my way out of the barn.

Just as I reached my car, I yelped as I felt someone grab me around the waist and was pulled backwards against a hard but familiar body.

"You," Edward whispered in my ear, his voice low and gravelly, "forgot to give me a proper goodbye."

Before I could respond, he turned me toward him and his lips were on mine in a blistering kiss, sending an electric shock through my body and curling my toes. I melted in his arms as my hands skimmed the contours of his chest, over his shoulders and up his neck, finally finding their way into his hair and pulling him closer to me.

All too quickly, Edward pulled away, breaking our kiss. As my eyes fluttered open, I smiled at the look on his face.

"Yeah....sorry, I forgot that," I whispered against his lips.

Edward chuckled and pecked my lips once more before releasing me. I stumbled the few feet to my car, fumbling with the door before slipping behind the wheel.

I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly as the smile crept across my face. I turned to look at Edward, seeing the cocky smirk on his face. I raised my hand and waggled my fingers at him. He returned my wave and winked as I put the car in reverse and pulled away.

~*~

"Oh my God," I breathed as Mr. Jamerson removed the cover from the frames and revealed Edward's gift. "They're beautiful, Mr. Jamerson."

"You're pleased with them?" Mr. Jamerson asked, smiling.

Mr. and Mrs. Jamerson had owned the little framing shop just outside the city for as long as I could remember. Our family always used them to frame all of our portraits, as well as the photos of our livestock taken by Rosalie, so I knew the work would be exceptional, but I never expected them to look like this.

"Oh...yes, sir. They're perfect," I assured him, nodding my head and running a finger over the glass encased paper.

Mr. Jamerson rewrapped the frames as I returned to the front of the shop and met Mrs. Jamerson to settle my bill.

Mr. Jamerson helped me pack the frames carefully in the trunk and cover them with the old quilt I kept on hand. I settled back behind the wheel and realized I left my cell phone in the car.

Reaching to retrieve it so I could call in the take out order to our favorite Chinese restaurant, I noticed there were seven missed calls.

"Good grief, I was only in the store for twenty minutes....what the heck..." I trailed off, wondering why Edward would have called seven times in a twenty minute span.

I hit the button to return his call and waited for him to pick up.

"Bella?!" He answered on the second ring, sounding breathless and a little more than agitated.

"Edward? What's wrong?" I asked, instantly on edge at the tone of his voice.

"Bella, where are you?" he asked. "Why didn't you answer the phone?"

"I-I'm just finishing my last errand and...." I paused, trying to quell the uneasiness and not be a little ticked at his tone. "What the hell, Edward? I left my phone in the car by accident. What's going on that you had to call me seven times-" he cut me off before I could really get started on my rant at the tone he was using with me.

"Rosalie's in labor!"

"OH MY GOD! Where, what....oh...are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious." Edward released a frustrated breath before continuing. "We're on the way to the hospital right now. I was trying to get in touch with you, but you didn't answer," he said in a rush, sounding angry.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I told you I accidentally left my phone in the car," I said, turning the key in the ignition and pulling out of the lot. "Is Rosalie okay?"

I could hear Emmett in the background talking to Rosalie, and what sounded like her whimpering.

"Um, yeah. I.....just meet us at the hospital, okay?" Edward's voice was strained, and knowing he was probably just stressed at the moment, I concentrated on the fact that I was going to be an aunt again in a short time, a smile playing at my lips with that thought.

"Okay..." I said before ending the call and trying not to let my feelings be hurt over Edward's obvious aggravation with me at the moment.

The frame shop was only about ten minutes from the hospital, so I would most likely beat them there.

I dialed my parent's number, not sure if anyone had called them to let them know and not really thinking it was a good idea to call Edward back to ask. Charlie and Renee had returned to their home in Corpus after my birthday and were not planning on being back until a couple of days before Thanksgiving.

Renee picked up on the third ring and I filled her in on what was going on. To my surprise, they had just received a call from Esme, she and Carlisle had picked up Garrett.

Alice and Jasper were out of town at a couples retreat for the weekend. Alice wasn't attending the finals with Jasper, so they had taken a few days to spend together before he was gone for the week. They were not going to be happy that they missed out on the baby's birth. Jasper and Rosalie had always been really close, so he would be upset he wasn't there for her now.

My mother filled me in on their flight information and said they were renting a car at the airport, so there was no need for any of us to pick them up. Though I argued about their need to do that, she assured me Charlie had already made the arrangements and there was nothing to fuss about. Laughing and saying our goodbyes, I ended the call just as I was pulling into the hospital parking lot.

I assumed Edward was driving Em and Rose since I could hear both of their voices when we were on the phone, and I knew from when Garrett was born that Emmett would be in no condition to drive anywhere. Maybe that was one of the reasons Edward sounded the way he did on the phone. I knew how hard to handle Emmett could be in those situations; Emmett didn't handle Rose being in pain very well.

I was just stepping out of my car when I heard tires screeching as I saw Rosalie's SUV wheeling into the lot.

Edward drove straight to the door of the ER, jumping out of the car and running inside as the back doors of the SUV flew open. I caught a glimpse of Rosalie in the back seat, my brother stepping out of the opposite door.

Crossing the lot as quickly as possible, I reached them just as Emmett was rounding the back of the vehicle.

"Hey, sweetie," I touched Rosalie's shoulder as she grimaced, obviously in the middle of a contraction.

I looked up to see Edward coming out the doors with a wheelchair, making his way quickly to Rosalie's side. I stepped out of the way as Emmett lifted his wife from the car, placing her gently in the chair.

Edward caught my eye with an apologetic grin on his face. He knew he had been short with me on the phone, but right now Rosalie and my little niece were the only things of importance. I smiled back at him with a little nod to let him know that for now it was a non-issue.

"It's going to be okay, babe," Emmett crooned as he ran his hand over Rosalie's hair and took her hand in his. "I love you."

Rosalie only nodded as she breathed through the last of her contraction and Edward began pushing the chair toward the sliding glass doors of the hospital with Emmett still holding her hand.

"Bella," Rosalie called out breathlessly. "Can you grab my bag?"

I stopped at the back of her SUV, popping the hatch and grabbing her overnight bag before catching up with them at the registration desk.

Rosalie was checked in and moved to a labor and delivery room. She was examined by the L&D nurse, and though her contractions so far had been pretty intense and her water broke at home, she was only dilated to three. The fetal monitor was hooked up and Dr. Gonzalez was made aware of her status.

Rose and I both were treated by Dr. Gonzalez. She began seeing him after they had difficulty getting pregnant the first time. That wasn't the case this time, but she had continued under his care during the pregnancy and he would be delivering her baby.

We were told it was probably going to be a while, so we might as well get comfortable. I was hopeful that our parents would get here before the baby was born, though I knew Rosalie wanted this part over with as quickly as possible.

Edward and I decided to get something from the cafeteria since neither one of us had eaten since breakfast; our take out dinner plans null and void now.

"I guess this will have to take the place of Chinese take out, huh?" Edward asked, his eyes downcast, poking the sandwich on his plate with his index finger.

"Yeah, guess so," I said around a bite of salad I had just placed in my mouth.

"Bella, I'm sorry about earlier.....I didn't mean to-"

"Edward, it's fine. I mean, yeah, it kinda hurt my feelings at first, but I know you were just stressed out. It's okay......just don't let it happen again," I warned, pointing my fork at him, fighting the smile that was playing at the corner of my lips.

Edward snorted, "Yes, ma'am."

We finished up our meal and made our way back to the labor and delivery floor. As soon as we stepped off the elevator we were greeted by Rosalie's parents.

Like both Rosalie and Jasper, Mrs. Hale-Whitlock was tall. And though her hair was more white than the platinum blond it once was, she was a breathtaking woman. It was easy to see where Rosalie got her beauty. But also like Rosalie, there was an inner strength and intelligence hidden under all the outer allure of physical attractiveness.

The next few hours were spent waiting, watching TV, talking with the Hale-Whitlocks, and visiting for short periods with Rosalie and Em.

To say that Emmett was a basket case was an understatement. He was very literally driving Rosalie crazy, hovering over her and trying to make sure she was as comfortable as possible and feeding her ice chips.

When she screamed at him for tucking her feet under the covers for the third time, I shot Edward a look, hoping he would get the hint and get Emmett out of the room for just a little bit.

Thankfully, unlike my brother, Edward's pretty observant for a man and took the hint well, talking Emmett into taking a break and going to get some coffee.

"Oh God, Bella," Rosalie cried, throwing her head back on the pillows with her eyes closed as the door clicked shut behind them, a fat tear rolling down her cheek. "I'm gonna kill him before this is over with and he is never coming within a hundred yards of me again, I swear. Never again."

I reached up to wipe away the tear and laughed lightly.

"Rosalie," I whispered and her eyes fluttered open. "I know he's annoying the hell out of you, but...."

"He really is, Bella....." she sucked in a breath and grimaced as another contraction hit her and she grabbed my hand.

"Whew...that was a big one, huh?" I asked, brushing the hair away from her damp brow and trying not to make an obvious showing of shaking out the hand she just crushed.

"Yeah......I know he loves me. He just gets crazy sometimes, but I love him, too. You know that."

"Yep, I do. And soon you guys are going to have a sweet little girl that he will be more than preoccupied with figuring out how to place bars on the windows and install a new alarm system, and I'm sure any other number of things he can come up with to make sure that _nobody_ messes with his little girl."

Rosalie looked at me for a long moment before she burst out in laughter and agreed with me completely. Rosalie's mother walked in shortly after the boys stepped out and we sat talking for a while, just trying to distract Rosalie.

"So, Bella, has Edward told you where you guys are going after Christmas?" Rosalie asked.

"Gah," I groaned in frustration, rolling my eyes and flopping back in my chair. "No. The stinker thinks it's better as a surprise. I mean, does the man not know me at all? Seriously?"

Rosalie and her mother both laughed.

"But I guess I really shouldn't be complaining. He's made all the arrangements, so he says, and I'm sure they're drawn out to a T. You know how Edward gets. I guess sometimes his OCD comes in handy," I rolled my eyes again and Rosalie laughed lightly.

"I guess he worked it out with Em before he ever mentioned it to me to make sure things would be covered at the ranch." I gave Rosalie the stink-eye, to which she looked away innocently, because I was almost positive she knew more than she was telling.

Just as I was gearing up to grill her for information, Emmett, Edward, and Rosalie's father returned. Rosalie smirked at me and I narrowed my eyes at her; I knew then for sure that she was more informed about our destination than she was letting on.

Rosalie's parents, Edward, and I made our way back out to the waiting area, which thankfully was just across from her room, to give Rosalie some privacy when the nurse came in to do yet another check.

We had just settled in for the long haul when a flurry of activity within Rosalie's room caught our attention.

The nurse who was doing the check on Rosalie's status came running out of the room, only to return a few moments later, followed by Dr. Gonzalez and Connie.

There was no fighting the smile that spread across my face and I grasped Edward's hand, turning to see a similar smile on his face, as well.

Rosalie's mother was wiping at her eyes with a lace handkerchief while Mr. Hale-Whitlock held her, rubbing circles on her back and whispering in her ear. The smiles on their faces were enough to light up the room.

We all waited with baited breath for what felt like hours when at last we heard faint cries, followed by a round of the 'Happy Birthday' song wafting from Rosalie's room.

The unmistakable boom of my brother's voice as he thanked Dr. Gonzalez and the nurses was the next sound we heard just before he burst out of the room with the biggest smile I had ever seen on his face and tears tracking down his dimpled cheeks.

I was out of my chair like a shot and wrapped my arms around my brother; Emmett's arms held me to him as he spun me around, laughing and crying at the same time.

"She's beautiful, baby girl. I can't.....she's just gorgeous. A tiny little thing, but just...." his voice broke as he sat my feet back on the floor and wiped at his face with the back of his hand.

Rosalie's father and Edward stood to shake Emmett's hand and congratulate him before Mrs. Hale-Whitlock wrapped him in a tight hug and cried into his chest, repeating over and over how happy she was for them.

Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side and kissed the top of my head as I leaned into him.

I laughed and tapped Edward's chest, pointing as I saw Renee come flying out of the elevator. She looked around frantically before spotting us and quickly made her way to where we stood in the hall outside Rosalie's room.

Edward's chest rumbled with his deep chuckle as he caught sight of Charlie following easily behind, hands in pockets with a huge grin on his face.

Emmett had yet to notice our parent's arrival as he was engaged in conversation with Rosalie's parents, giving details of the weight and length of the baby.

I was just reaching to touch Emmett's arm to alert him that Renee was here when he looked up and locked eyes with our mother.

It was something that we all teased him about incessantly, but Emmett was unabashedly a momma's boy; he and Renee just had a special bond. I don't think that was ever more obvious than with the look that spread over his face when he and Renee looked at one another.

My heart clenched at the raw emotion on both their faces, and remembering it had been the same after Garrett was born.

"Aw, hon…," Renee whispered as she wrapped her little boy, who was anything but a little boy anymore, in a tight embrace. "I got here as quick as I could."

"Oh, momma....," Emmett sighed as he picked her up, much the same way he had done to me a few moments ago. "Momma, she's beautiful."

I pulled away from Edward as Charlie reached us, wrapping him in a hug and kissing his cheek before releasing him and returning to Edward's side.

A few hours later, Rosalie and I were alone in her room. The others had talked Emmett into going downstairs to grab a bite to eat. My vision still hadn't cleared from the sheer amount of pictures taken by our parents and Emmett.

I sat in the rocking chair in the corner of the room, a tiny pink bundle cradled in my arms. Rosalie had dozed off a few moments before as I hummed a lullaby softly, slowly gliding back and forth in the chair.

I bent my face close to the little angel and inhaled her sweet scent deeply.

"That's gonna be you holding your own baby one day. You know that now, right?"

I startled as Rosalie's voice filled the room, though it was barely more than a whisper.

I felt the tears burn behind my eyes as I looked up to see Rosalie smiling at me with tears brimming in her own eyes.

"Yeah, Rose," I nodded my head, turning back to look at the sleeping baby in my arms. "I do."

* * *

**A/N: So, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. We finally got the birth of Rose and Em's baby. ^_^ **

**I'm sure you are aware of the removal of several stories from/by fanfiction (.) net lately. Make sure you have me on Author Alert (not just favorite) to be alerted if MMB is affected. I recently posted a link for MMB on Twilighted (.) net.  
**

**MMB is not completely up to date on Twilighted but I'm working to get it caught up to the current chapter as soon as possible.  
**

**I know I put the link for my author's blog in the last chapter but the link wasn't complete (due to my techtardedness). So it's now listed in my profile. Along with the link for my LiveJournal page. If MMB is removed I will make notes on my profile here as well as my blog as to where the story can be found up to date if this happens. Thanks for your loyalty to this story and to me. **

**xoxoxoxo **

**bellasunderstudy1  
**


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. No copyright infringement intended. The plot and storyline here are property of the author. **

**A/N: So as always, a humongous thank you to Jessica1971 who works her beta magic on MMB, believe me when I tell you she earns her keep. ^_~**

**Welcome to all of the new readers who have joined the party and reviewed recently. Thank you to all of you who made sure to Author Alert me, again a link to my blog is on my profile as well as a link to follow me on twitter. MMB is almost caught up to date on Twilighted(dot)com for any of you who are members there. Thank you to all of you have shown so much support for this story, and for me. **

**Without further ado....  
**

* * *

Chapter 31:

EPOV

"You look like you're walking on cloud nine at the moment, my friend," I said, smiling and slinging an arm over Emmett's wide shoulders as we walked out of the cafeteria toward the elevator.

"I am, man...." Emmett scrubbed a hand over his face, his eyes bright with the excitement of the day. "I can't even explain it."

Abigail Grace Swan entered this world a petite five pounds, six ounces and slightly over seventeen inches long. She had a perfectly round cherub face and a mop of curly light brown hair with golden hi-lights already visible, which only added to the ethereal appearance of her angelic features.

I punched the button to call for the elevator, somewhat in awe over the look of pure joy on Emmett's face.

"Edward, man….. You're sure that it's not a problem to watch Garrett tonight?"

Clapping Emmett on the back, I smiled. "Are you kidding? I think Bella's in seventh heaven with the thought of taking the little guy home. Honestly, we don't mind at all."

"Well, we really appreciate it. I know that mom and dad would take him, but with the flight in and all-"

"Don't worry about it, really," I said, cutting him off as the elevator arrived. "I'm telling you, Bella's beside herself."

We stepped in the elevator, the grandparents following close behind. The conversation was light and easy as we rode back to Rosalie's floor. Everyone seemed to still be riding the wave of euphoria following little Abbey's birth.

Emmett softly knocked as he pushed the door to Rosalie's room open. Rosalie was lying with her back to the door, sleeping soundly while Bella gently rocked baby Abbey. Bella looked up and smiled before turning back to the little bundle in her arms as I crossed the room.

"Bella," I said softly, trying not to wake the baby as I stroked the delicate skin of Abbey's cheek with one finger. "You ready to go? If we're picking up Garrett, we probably should get going."

"Yeah, just let me give little Abbey to her daddy," Bella said in a hushed whisper.

Bella turned slowly, and when our eyes met what I saw behind her smile caused my chest to ache. I could see just how hard this day had been on her, though I knew she was beyond elated for her brother and Rosalie. The longing for the baby girl she lost crept through the happiness, even if I was the only one allowed to see it.

"Oh no you don't, baby girl. Grammy needs a little more time with this little angel," Renee said as she took the baby and settled down into the rocker that Bella just vacated, humming softly.

Rosalie woke just as we were getting ready to leave and quickly made a list of the things Garrett would need for the night.

Bella and I said our goodbyes to the family. I watched as Rosalie pulled Bella closer, placing a kiss on her forehead, stroking her hair as she whispered something in her ear. I could see Bella's eyes fill with emotion as she nodded and tightened her embrace for a moment.

Rosalie was simply an enigma. She took great pleasure in her ability to put the men in this family in their place, doing so without reservation when she felt that we needed reminding, I had been on the receiving end of that side of Rosalie on more than one occasion. Then there was the person before me now, the one who was never afraid to show those she loved just how she felt; it was something I had always admired about her.

Emmett insisted that we drive Rosalie's SUV since we were picking up Garrett, as it would be easier than switching out the car seat. Bella agreed, saying it was safer than having Garrett in her Mustang.

For some reason, Bella was dead set against leaving her car at the hospital. Since we had to swing by the ranch to grab Garrett's things, we decided to leave her car there and just pick it up the next day.

I wrapped an arm around Bella's shoulders as we made our way out of the hospital, pulling her into my side and nuzzling her hair before pressing a kiss to her temple. Bella snaked an arm around my waist and leaned into me as we walked across the lot toward her car.

"You okay?"

Bella took a deep breath and closed her eyes before answering in little more than a whisper. "Yeah……Little Abbey's beautiful, isn't she?"

"Yeah, baby, she is," I said.

I stopped as we reached her car, wrapping my arms around her to pull her into a hug, trying to let her know how precious she truly was to me.

Bella's hands rested on my chest, her fingers tightened into fists and twisting the fabric of my shirt, pulling me closer to her as she pressed her lips to mine and sucked my bottom lip into her mouth. I groaned at the sensation shooting through me and backed her against the door. My hands slid down to grip her hips and then slowly up her back, holding her as tightly to me as possible.

Bella moaned into my mouth as she ran her hands up my chest over my shoulders to twine her fingers in the hair at the nape of my neck. She smiled against my lips as our kiss slowed to small, gentle pecks before she pulled back. Her eyes fluttered open as she looked up at me through her thick lashes.

I pressed my forehead against hers and closed my eyes as a wide smile broke across my face. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my body's reaction.

Opening my eyes to look deep into the beautiful melted chocolate of her gaze, I slid my hands lightly over her back before tucking them in the back pockets of her jeans. Bella smirked up at me with the placement of my hands. I just shrugged with the most innocent look I could muster.

Bella shook her head, burying her face in my chest and giggling as I pressed a kiss to the top of her head before I wrapped her in a hug and picked her feet off the ground.

"We better get out of here before I lose anymore of my control," I said as I sat her firmly on the ground and brushed my lips along hers gently one more time.

"Hmm….k," Bella whispered with a smile gracing her tantalizing lips. "It shouldn't take me but a few minutes to grab the things that Garrett needs, and then we can head over to your parents."

"Okay, I'll meet you at the ranch," I murmured, placing gentle kisses to her temple, then her cheek, making my way toward the soft skin just below her jaw.

"Um….you're going to have to let me go, you know," Bella whispered, her fingers digging into my back as a tiny moan escaped her lips.

"Umhm, I know," I said, tasting the supple skin of her neck.

"Edward?"

"Hmm…" I hummed as I grazed my teeth over her collarbone.

"You're still holding me," she giggled.

"I know," I said as I trailed my lips over the damp area I traveled a few moments before.

Bella rolled her head to the side, allowing me easier access to the enticing skin of her neck as I made my way back toward her ear, never removing my lips for her skin.

"Edward…..mmm…seriously, it's getting…..ah…it's getting late and we…..ummm….we need to get Garrett."

I took a deep breath as I grazed my nose over the outline of her jaw and pressed my lips to the soft spot just behind her ear before whispering, "I'm never letting you go, Isabella."

Bella's sharp intake of breath let me know she got the double meaning of my words, and I saw the understanding in her eyes as I pulled back to look at her. I stepped back, smiling, and watched until she was in her car before turning to make my way to Rosalie's SUV.

~*~

Pulling in the drive, I cut the engine and turned to see Bella looking at me with a smirk on her face and a twinkle in her eye.

"What?"

"You sure you're ready for this?" Bella asked, tipping her head toward the back seat and fighting the smile I could see pulling at the corners of her mouth.

"Yes. Why would I not be?" I rolled my eyes and heard her giggling as she opened the door to exit.

I quirked an eyebrow at her as I opened the rear passenger door to remove Garrett's bag and watched as Bella expertly removed the restraints and lifted the sleeping toddler from his seat, looking at me with that same smirk on her face.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

Bella snorted as she readjusted Garrett in her arms, whispering something in his ear and rubbing his back soothingly as he stirred slightly before he snuggled his little face further into her neck and drifted back off into a peaceful sleep.

"Edward, how often have you been around a toddler?" Bella raised an eyebrow in question, looking between Garrett in her arms and me.

"Um….well….a little," I said, but she looked at me skeptically. "Come on, Bella, how hard can it be?" I asked.

Bella shook her head and continued toward the house. I shouldered the diaper bag and grabbed the toy basket from the seat before closing the door and following Bella up the front steps.

I sat the toy basket down in the family room and walked down the hallway to our bedroom.

"Bella, do you need anything out of Garrett's bag?" I asked quietly as I stepped inside the door.

Bella was just settling Garrett on the pillow and pulling the covers over his little body.

"No, your mom already bathed him and he's got his pj's on….do you…um…" Bella looked up at me, chewing on one corner of her lip as if she was unsure of what she was trying to say.

"What?"

"Do you…..do you mind if Garrett sleeps in here? I'm just a little uncomfortable putting him in the other room when he's not really used to sleeping here. I mean, he's been here, but he's really never stayed overnight and I ju-"

"Bella," I cut her off chuckling. "Why would I mind, sweetheart? I kind of assumed that he would. "

She crossed the room to where I stood and wrapped her arms around my waist before raising her face toward mine. I ran my hands up and down her back, knotting my fingers in her long hair before brushing my lips across hers.

"I love you," she whispered as she pulled back to look up at me.

"Hmm…" I smiled, taking in a deep breath. "I love you, too."

Bella turned to step in the bathroom, and I joined her to quickly run through my nightly routine before we slipped into bed on either side of Garrett's tiny sleeping form.

A feeling of contentment washed over me as I watched Bella snuggle with her nephew, gently stroking the tiny curls that covered his head, a look of pure adoration on her face. Bella's eyes flashed to mine as she caught me watching her and she smiled.

I drifted off to sleep with the thoughts of how one day Bella would be doing that with our child, and nothing made me happier than that thought.

~*~

"Ompf."

My eyes snapped open as the air whooshed out of my lungs as a tiny foot made contact with my abdomen. I looked over to see a wide eyed Garrett grinning and sucking happily on his thumb.

"Good morning to you, too, buddy," I laughed quietly, trying to suck some air back into my lungs.

Rising up on my elbows, I could see Bella, her hair fanning out over her pillow with one hand under her cheek and a soft snore coming from her parted lips.

"Are you hungry, little man?"

Garrett continued to stare at me with a wide grin on his face, never removing his thumb from his mouth.

"Okay, well, how 'bout me and you let Aunt Bella sleep in and we surprise her with some breakfast? How's that sound?"

Garrett rolled onto his side, scooting closer to where I lay, removing his thumb from his mouth and offering it to me.

I laughed lightly, "No thanks, buddy. I'll let you keep that for your own, k?"

Sliding out of bed, I picked Garrett up and crossed the room to grab a diaper and his baby toothbrush from his bag before stepping into the bathroom.

I quickly changed Garrett's diaper and redressed him in his pj's before setting him up on the counter. I handed him his little toothbrush while I brushed my teeth and quickly washed my face, deciding to skip shaving, and then brushed Garrett's teeth, as well.

"Ya know, your Aunt Bella thinks I don't know anything about taking care of little guys like you. Pfft….fat lot she knows, huh?"

Picking up Garrett, I grabbed a T-shirt before we slipped out of the bedroom and made our way toward the kitchen to start breakfast.

Sitting Garrett in the portable hi-chair we brought from Emmett's, I grabbed the box of Cheerios from the cabinet and placed a handful on the tray. I poured him a cup of milk and started a pot of coffee.

"Hm…. what would you like for breakfast this morning, little man?" I asked, rummaging through the cabinets. "Uncle Edward isn't exactly a gourmet cook, but I do have a few specialties. How 'bout…..some pancakes?" I continued to talk to Garrett as I got together the necessary items for pancakes. "I lived off pancakes my first couple of years in college… that and grilled cheese sandwiches."

"Cancakes," Garrett answered excitedly as he smashed his Cheerios with one pudgy finger.

Garrett snacked on the squished up Cheerios from his tray, occasionally taking a sip from his cup as I whipped together the batter and threw a few slices of bacon in another pan.

Just as I was slicing up Garrett's pancake and placing it on his tray with a fresh cup of milk, Bella padded into the room while rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," I said, smiling as she took in the sight before her.

Bella raised an eyebrow with an incredulous look upon her face as she crossed the room to where Garrett sat happily devouring his food.

"You cooked breakfast?" Bella said, as she looked from Garrett to me.

"Yes ma'am," I said a smirk firmly in place.

"Oh…well, I'll just…I'm sure Garrett's wet from the night. I'll take-"

"Already done," I cut her off, the smug smile still on my face.

"You changed him, too?" Bella asked, her jaw coming unhinged with shock.

"Yep, Garrett and I have been busy this morning while you slept, mi-lady." I winked at her before removing the bacon from the pan and plated the last of the pancakes.

"Bewwa, some?" Garrett said, holding up a piece of pancake firmly squished between his fingers.

"No thank you, little man," she said, laughing as she kissed the top of his head and listening intently to everything Garrett was trying to tell her.

The words _Eward _and _cancake _were used, so I figured it was safe to I assume he was explaining what we were doing while Bella was still sleeping.

"You hungry?" I asked when Bella turned to look at me, a wide smile on her face.

"Yeah…. I am," Bella snorted, shaking her head as she crossed the room to the coffee pot, picking up the cup I left out for her. Bella placed a hand on my arm, "You're amazing, do you know that?"

I brushed my lips gently over hers and smiled, "Only with you, my dear."

Breakfast was an interesting adventure, to say the least; it never ceased to amaze me the mess that such little people could make in such a short period of time. I don't know how it was possible, but it seemed as though there was more food smashed on Garrett's tray and on the floor than what the three of us ate combined. I chuckled when I looked at Garrett, as I could see there were little flecks of food in his hair.

Bella cleaned Garrett's face and hands with a face cloth. It was truly like hitting a moving target as he thrashed his head from side to side, trying his best to get away from her.

"Why don't I clean up the kitchen since you cooked? You and Garrett can hang out a little bit more before we take him to my parents," Bella said as she tapped Garrett's button nose with her finger.

"I think that sounds like a great idea. What do you think, buddy?"

Garrett laughed out loud in his tinkling toddler chortle. I picked him up and took off running toward the family room, holding him out to 'fly' like an airplane. I turned to see Bella shaking her head and laughing as she stacked up our plates.

"So, what's the plan, my friend?" I asked, settling Garrett on the floor in the family room before grabbing a few of his toys and taking a seat near him.

When Bella joined us a little while later, Garrett and I were under a quilt spread over the ottoman and my chair, creating a 'fort'.

"Looks like you two are having fun," Bella said as she laughed.

She turned to survey the disaster area that Garrett and I made of the family room. Several of his stuffed animals were placed across the room to represent enemy forces which we were barricaded against in our fort. Numerous toys were scattered across the room and pillows from the sofa were piled in front of our fort. I propped an arm on the pillows to rest my head in my hand, then looked at Bella with a sheepish grin.

Garrett climbed over the pillows and toddled toward where Bella stood, babbling away, pointing, and gesturing between our fort and other areas around the room.

"Sounds like you've had quite the adventure this morning," Bella chuckled as she caressed Garrett's cheek. "First cooking breakfast with Uncle Edward, and now this," Bella said, gesturing to the room at large as she stooped to pick Garrett up before settling him on her hip.

I stood and crossed to join Bella, ruffling Garrett's hair.

"Yep, we've been hard at work fighting off those evil stuffed animals and that giraffe over there," I pointed to where the offending toys sat across the room. "That dude is bad. Tell her, Garrett. That guy's got some moves, huh?"

"Bewwa, graffe have mooooves," Garrett said, looking at Bella with the most serious look on his little face.

Bella and I looked at one another for a moment before bursting out in laughter.

"Come on, little guy, let's get you into the bath and get ready to go see grammy and paw-paw," Bella said, tickling Garrett's tummy and making her way out of the room.

"Edward-"

"I got it, Bella. Go give him his bath and I'll clean up all this," I said, cutting her off and gesturing to the destruction that was the family room with a chuckle.

Bella smiled, turning to cross the room back toward where I stood. She flattened her palm on my chest and rose up on tip toe to place a kiss on my cheek before she turned to make her way toward our room.

Fifteen minutes later, I dropped the last of Garrett's toys in the basket then grabbed the quilt to return it to the linen closet in the hall. Stepping into our bedroom, the sounds coming from the bathroom wafted to me and brought a smile to my face.

Bella's lilting laughter and the distinctive sounds of sloshing water were clear. I made my way to the bathroom door and pushed it open to lean against the frame.

Bella was kneeling on a towel by the tub, gently washing him while he slapped happily at the water, trying her best not to get soaked with his splashing.

I watched as Bella rinsed the shampoo from his hair and couldn't fight the smile that broke across my face. The warm feeling spreading through my body at the sight of Bella simply giving Garrett a bath was one that I had no words to describe. My one constant thought being that I couldn't wait until that was something I saw every day with a baby of our own.

"Oh!" Bella gasped as she turned with Garrett wrapped in a towel in her arms. "God, Edward, you scared the crap out of me. How long have you been standing there?"

"I'm sorry," I laughed, stepping out of the doorway as Bella brushed past me. "Just long enough to watch you finish up his bath."

Bella placed Garrett on our bed, covering him in baby lotion. I crossed the room, sitting down on the bed beside the squirming baby and trying to distract him from his escape plan as Bella finished dressing him.

"So…." Bella started with a smirk on her face and looked at me questioningly.

"So?"

"Would you like to tell me where it is that you learned how to take care of a toddler?" Bella asked, burying her face in Garrett's belly and blowing a raspberry as he giggled.

"Oh…. you remember me mentioning my friend Demetri?" Bella nodded her head as she untangled Garrett's fingers from her hair. "Well, his sister and brother-in-law were transferred from New York to Georgia the year after we graduated and moved out there. They had twins, a boy and a girl, that were about the same age as Garrett at the time. And, well, they didn't have any other family in the area so Demetri got roped into babysitting a lot." I shrugged. "I helped him out sometimes."

Bella sat on the bed next to me and ran her fingers through my hair as Garrett crawled into my lap.

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" Bella whispered, smiling as she leaned in to place a kiss on my cheek.

~*~

Rosalie and Abbey were discharged a couple days later, and Renee and Charlie decided to stay on since they would have made the trip up in a few days for the Thanksgiving holiday anyway.

Alice and Jasper started trying to get a flight home as soon as they got the call that Rose was in labor, but couldn't get out until the morning after Abbey was born. True to form, Rosalie set Jasper straight when he made mention that he and Alice shouldn't have gone away so close to her due date, quickly reminding him he was a married man and his priority was his wife, not his sister.

The next few days flew by as we prepared to leave for the National Finals. Bella was outside with Laurent, making the final check on her tack. Having already printed out our hotel reservations, I perused the web, making the last of my purchases for Bella's Christmas gifts. I figured it was the most opportune time to make those transactions while Bella was busy talking with Laurent.

The thought crossed my mind that I would need to watch the mail for the credit card bill the next couple of months. Bella would have a conniption if she saw the amount I spent on new equipment for our trip, but knowing she would enjoy the trip would be worth her wrath.

I was so engrossed with thinking about our trip that I missed Bella entering the office.

"What 'cha doin'?" I jumped, fumbling and trying to quickly close the website as Bella's arms folded over my chest from behind as she pecked a kiss on my cheek.

"Um…" I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat. "Just printing out our hotel information," I said, trying to cover what I was actually doing.

Bella slid her hands over my chest to rest on my shoulders, turning her head to look at me with a raised eyebrow. I'm pretty sure she knew I was lying, but having printed out our reservations page earlier, it was as good a cover as I could think of at the moment.

I ducked my head and looked away uncomfortably before rounding the desk to remove the paperwork from the printer and hand it over for her inspection. Bella took the papers from me, continuing to look at me suspiciously before she slowly turned her attention to the papers and walked over to her desk.

Bella and I stopped by to see the baby and Rosalie before leaving the ranch for the day. Knowing we would be gone for a week made Bella anxious to spend some extra time with her new niece, and I was more than happy to oblige.

Though Bella never outright said anything, she kept shooting me looks throughout the rest of the day that let me know she was well aware I wasn't exactly honest with her about what I was doing when she entered the office. I felt awful knowing I was lying, but not enough to fess up to what I was really doing.

~*~

The hotel where we were staying was about a quarter mile from the coliseum. Laurent's son, Jason, lived in the area, so he decided to spend the week visiting with his grandchildren when we weren't at the arena for the event or auction. He assured Bella that Jason would be picking him up shortly, so we dollied down the trailer and left it on the fairgrounds once the horses were unloaded and settled into their stalls.

The lobby was crowded as there were several other competitors staying at the Renaissance, but thankfully we were checked in quickly. It had been a long couple of days and I was exhausted.

Our reservations were for the Van Cliburn Suite. I requested that particular suite for a couple of reasons. One of them being that it held a baby grand piano, much like the one at my parent's house, in addition to the spectacular view of the city.

I heard Bella's sharp intake of breath when she stepped into the main area of the suite.

"Edward," she breathed, turning to look at me, a smile playing at her lips as she crossed the room to where the black piano sat in front of floor to ceiling windows.

Bella ran her hand over the black lacquered surface reverently before continuing to stand by the windows.

I couldn't fight the grin on my face. I tipped the bellboy and crossed the room to join Bella where she stood looking out over the city.

"I've stayed in this hotel before, but not here……this room, it's incredible," she whispered as I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my chin on her shoulder.

The room was decorated in an eclectic western motif, using muted yellows with deep, vibrant reds and lots of ironwork and dark woods.

"I'm glad you like it. Jasper told me about this room. I guess he and Alice stayed here sometime back. He said the view was unbelievable." I pulled away slightly and turned my head to look at Bella's profile.

"Breathtaking," I whispered, not meaning the cityscape.

Bella turned, her arms sliding around my neck, her fingers threaded into the hair at the nape of my neck; she looked up into my eyes with a smile on her face as she whispered, "Edward?"

"Hmm…" I hummed in response as I dipped my head to bring my lips to the soft spot just behind her ear, trailing butterfly kisses over the smooth skin of her neck.

"Ah…um, will you play for me," she breathed as her fingers tightened in my hair, holding me to her.

Taking a deep breath, I ran the tip of my nose along the shell of her ear before whispering, "Qualsiasi cosa per Lei il mio amore."

Bella released a shuddering breath as she leaned further into me, and I tightened my arms around her shoulders. I ran my hands over her back, enjoying the feel of her tiny body pressed against me as my lips found their way back to her mouth. The moment our lips met had my heart slammed against my chest. When Bella moaned softly, the sound shot straight to my groin and I was instantly hard.

I sucked her lower lip between my own, gently scraping my teeth over the plump flesh. My tongue snaked out to find hers, dancing together as the kiss deepened, quickly becoming more passionate. The desire washing over me was almost too much to control as I danced the fingers of one hand along her ribs and began the ascent to brush along the underside of her breast. Bella sighed and arched into my touch, encouraging me to continue as she sucked my upper lip into her mouth, her fingers pulling at my hair.

I palmed her breast, feeling the weight and noticing for the thousandth time how perfectly it fit in my hand. I felt her nipple pebbling at my touch. Bella moaned and arched her back to press herself more fully into my touch. I grazed her hardened nipple with my thumb, eliciting another sexy moan from my Bella as her hands slid down my neck to my shoulders.

I rolled her still covered bud between my finger and thumb, enjoying how her body responded to my touch. I slid my other hand down her back to cup her ass. Bella shifted her hips and pressed herself against my erection, causing me to hiss at the sensation.

Bella pulled back just enough to look up into my eyes and smirked, "I thought you were going to play _for _me, not _with_ me."

My breath caught at her words and the sexual tension that was crackling in the air around us. I narrowed my eyes at the teasing tone in her voice before taking a deep breath. Releasing it slowly through my nose, I tried to regain some composure. I looked into her deep brown eyes and glared at the little minx as I watched her fight with herself not to laugh. She knew exactly what she was doing to me and was enjoying it much more than she should.

"It seems I did tell you that, didn't I?" I said, my voice low and rough with my desire, a plan forming in my mind.

"What are you up to?" she asked as she pulled back and quirked an eyebrow, immediately suspicious of my quick acquiescence.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said with a look of shock on my face. "You asked me to play, I'm going to play."

Bella continued to stare at me and I composed my face into the most innocent expression I could with the amount of lust boiling in my blood, and the less than holy thoughts of what I wanted to do to her flashing through my mind.

I took her hand and led her back to the piano, discreetly adjusting myself before taking a seat and pulling her down next to me.

I closed my eyes, laced my fingers together and pushed my arms out, stretching dramatically as I took a deep breath. I released it slowly, making a big show of my preparations and eliciting a giggle from Bella as she caught on to my act. I winked at her, gaining another sweet laugh as she playfully backhanded my abdomen.

"You're a goof," she snickered.

I kissed her cheek before settling my hands above the keys; I paused before launching into a couple of playful jazz numbers. Bella giggled and tapped her foot along with the rhythm of the music.

I quickly launched into the first strains of Fur Elise and as the music flowed through the room, my eyes closed and I lost myself in the feeling of the keys beneath my fingers. My only conscious thoughts were of the woman sitting next to me and how much she meant to me. Bella touched my soul and made me want to be a better man.

I played a few more classics before launching into one of the compositions I had written as a teenager. I felt the warmth from Bella's hand as she gently placed in on my thigh and leaned her head on my shoulder.

I hadn't played as much as I would have liked since the piano was delivered and set up in our music room. Without any thought of what my fingers were doing, a song I had not played in many years began to flow through the room.

Bella sat up and I turned to see the uncertain look upon her face as the haunting strains of the song lilted through the air and reverberated in my heart. I had not played that particular piece in many years, and had not expected to play it tonight. Bella continued to stare into my eyes, silently asking the question which she already knew the answer to.

"Edward," she breathed, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Your…..your mother wrote this, didn't she?"

I nodded as the song came to an end, my eyes closed, and I placed my hands in my lap as the emotions of playing one of my mother's songs hit me full-on.

"I remember. I first heard you play that when we were in high-school. You told me she wrote it just before…." Her voice trailed off as she placed a hand upon my cheek, turning my face so I had no choice but to look into her eyes.

"It's beautiful, Edward," she whispered and I could see the tears brimming in her eyes.

I could only nod, not trusting my voice at the moment. Swallowing the thick lump of emotion in my throat, I turned to place a kiss to her palm. Bella smiled sadly as she framed my face with her small hands and brushed her lips with mine.

She pulled back slightly only to press her lips first to one cheek, the other, my closed lids, then sliding down to my chin before finding my mouth once again. The love she was showing me with her gentle kisses made the lump rise in my throat once again.

I slid my hands up to grasp her hips, pulling her to straddle my lap, her knees resting on either side of my thighs. A guttural growl fell from my lips as Bella rocked her heated center against my straining erection. My fingers bit into her flesh and pulled her more tightly to me as our kiss deepened.

Bella moaned into my mouth as her hands slid over my neck, then down my chest to begin opening the buttons of my shirt. She broke our kiss to trail her lips down my throat and followed her hands with open mouthed kisses.

She nimbly worked the final button free, opening my shirt and allowing her free exploration of my torso. I felt my abdomen contract as her fingers danced over the muscles, flattening her palms to slide over my chest and shoulders. Slipping my shirt down over the top of my arms, she wrapped her tiny fingers around my biceps.

I ran my hands up her back to thread my fingers in her silky locks and caressed her jaw with my thumbs as she looked up at me through hooded lids, and I crushed my mouth to hers. I forced my tongue past her lips, her sweet taste overwhelming me as her arms snaked around my shoulders and held me to her. I knew Bella felt the same desire as she met my need with the same fervor.

My hands shot to her waist and I stood in one fluid movement. The stool clattered to the floor as a myriad of protesting notes rang out as I lifted Bella to the closed piano top.

Slowly pushing her shirt up over her torso, I caressed her body as she writhed under my touch. I felt myself grow harder than ever before as I bent to press wet kisses to her abdomen, gaining low whimpers of pleasure as I worshiped her body with my hands and mouth.

I growled in frustration as I fumbled with removing her jeans. Bella giggled, sitting up slightly and cutting off my grumbling as she covered my mouth with her own and popped the button on her jeans, lowering the zipper slowly.

I slipped my arms out of my shirt, throwing it into the room behind me before sliding my hands around to her lower back. I dipped the tips of my fingers below the waistband and began pulling the denim over her hips as Bella lifted, gaining another round of angry mismatched sounds to emanate from the piano. I slid her jeans further down her shapely legs, relishing the feeling of her silky skin beneath my fingers.

Removing her boots before pulling her jeans off completely, gaining a throaty moan and a heavy sigh of pleasure as I trailed my lips over the creamy flesh of her inner thigh toward where I knew she wanted me most at the moment. Bella's fingers gripped the edge of the piano as she bent her knees, placing her feet on the keys once again.

"Oh, God…."

I wrapped my hands around her calves, massaging the muscles gently as I pressed a kiss over her still covered sex.

Bella bucked her hips toward my mouth, "Please, Edward."

"Patience, my sweet Bella," I murmured against her center and she moaned, one hand traveled up her body to fist in her hair as she begged for me to touch her.

Slowly, I ghosted one hand over her thigh, barely grazing one knuckle along her damp panties, my mouth hovering over her clit. My breathing coming in short gasps as I tried to get some control over my own arousal, at the rate I was going I would lose my shit before I was even inside her if I didn't calm down.

I slipped her panties from her body and ran a finger over her slit, circling her opening before pressing inside; a shiver ran through her body as she raised her hips into my touch.

"I'm going to taste you now, Isabella," I said, my voice dropping an octave as I bent to wrap my lips around her clit.

I suckled the swollen flesh and Bella called out my name as I added a second finger, curling them to find the spot that would send her careening over the edge.

"Oh, God….ah…Edward."

I started to pump faster in and out as I felt her walls begin to tighten around my fingers. I flicked my tongue and bit down gently, bringing her orgasm crashing over her as she screamed my name again and again, her legs clamped down around my head.

Slowing my ministrations, I gently kissed the area just above her sex as she began to come down and her body relaxed.

I began placing open mouthed kisses up her body, stopping to dip my tongue in her navel and eliciting a tiny whimper from my Bella. She threaded her fingers in my hair once again and pulled me to her mouth as she sat up.

Bella slid her hands immediately over my chest to begin working my belt lose, tearing at my jeans until the soft denim gave way to her and she released me from the prison, pushing them off my body quickly, along with my boxers.

"I need you…inside me, now," she commanded, her gaze burning me with its intensity.

I smirked at her, because at times I can be a cocky bastard and I couldn't help myself. But I was more than willing to oblige as I grasped her hips and buried myself fully inside her in one swift motion.

"Ah…fuck, Bella," I ground out as the sensation of being inside her was just nearly more than I could handle. "You feel so good."

"Edward," she growled into my neck, her voice thick with desire as she began swirling her hips against me, needing the friction I was denying her at the moment.

My fingers bit into her flesh as I began to move, pulling almost completely out before pushing back, using all the control in my body to not ram into her. I wanted to be gentler than I had been when I first entered her, but all that was thrown out the window when Bella growled at me, tightening her legs around my waist and pressing her heels into my ass.

"I need you, Edward….please….more," she panted, biting down on my shoulder as her need took over her actions.

I was lost with her words and wrapped my arms around her body, holding her as I pulled out only to slam back into her roughly, her cries of ecstasy pushing me on as I worked her body more aggressively than I ever had before.

Bella's lips were swollen from our kisses, but I couldn't resist pulling her bottom lip into my mouth and suckling it as the familiar burning in my abdomen began to build quickly. I knew I wouldn't last much longer.

I broke our kiss and moved along Bella's jaw until I reached the spot between her ear and jaw, nipping at the skin. I buried my face in Bella's neck, grunting as I moved inside her and trying to hold back my building climax.

"Ungh," Bella moaned, lolling her head to grant me easier access to her neck.

With one arm wrapped firmly around her body, holding her to me, I slowly grazed my free hand over her back, making my way around her hip. I could feel with the tips of my fingers where our bodies were joined. I groaned into her mouth as my cock worked in and out of her.

"Oh, God, Bella…..come for me, baby," I growled as I continued to pump into her body.

Bella ground her hips further into me as I rubbed slow circles over her swollen clit. I slammed into her a few more times before her walls clamped down around me and she threw her head back, crying out my name loudly. I couldn't hold off any longer as I emptied into her with a guttural growl. My body shook with the intensity of my own orgasm.

I pressed open mouthed kisses to Bella's collarbone as our bodies came down from our mutual euphoria.

"That…..was incredible," Bella panted.

"Mmhmm," I hummed in response, unable to find my voice.

"Um….should we check out the rest of the suite now?" Bella said through a giggle.

I snorted as I stepped back, pulling out completely, and hissed at the sudden loss of Bella's warmth.

"Yeah, I guess we could do that, huh?"

I helped Bella down from the piano before pulling my jeans back on. Not bothering to close the top button or my belt, I turned to find Bella sliding into her jeans and readjusting her shirt. I smirked as I offered her my arm to lead her through the rest of our suite.

~*~

Between the auction and preparing for the actual competition days, the week flew by. Bella, Laurent, and I were quite pleased with the few prospects we discovered. The blood lines available from the mares we were interested in would produce quality foals, and hopefully a few champions. Combine the genetic potential with Bella's training and we could be looking at a very lucrative prospective future for the Swan Ranch.

Bella and I met with Aro Volturi a few days after we arrived. He and his daughter, Heidi, flew in the morning before Bella's first event, wanting to be present when Raven was in the arena for the first round. They intended on staying through the championship round.

We made plans to have them visit the ranch after the first of the year. Aro was very interested in seeing our facility, and since we were working through the preliminary parts of the contract to merge our breeding programs, he wanted to get a feel for our operations.

Both Raven and Tig made it through the first round of competition and were actually listed in the top five for the championship round.

Though Bella was confidant in their abilities and her training, she had a tendency to over analyze every mistake or bauble made inside the ring. I knew she would calm down once she was on the horse and finished with the first warm up session. Having been on the receiving end of her short fuse more than once over the week, Laurent and I decided it was probably safer to just stay out of her way and allow her to work it out on her own.

That would explain why Laurent and I were standing along the rail of the large round pen outside the main arena as Bella ran through her routine warm up exercises with Tig.

"Never have figured out why she gets so worked up," Laurent said, a small smile on his face as he tipped his head toward Bella at the far end of the ring.

"Yeah, I know. She's fine once she gets in the saddle, but before that….." I shook my head and ran my fingers through my hair as I chuckled.

"Damn fine trainer she is," Laurent grunted.

I nodded my head as I watched Bella effortlessly bring Tig into a slow lope. Bella was graceful in the saddle, appearing to move as one with the animal, and my heart swelled with pride. She brought Tig to a halt quickly, backing him up, silently asking him to turn on his haunches and launch into a lope in the opposite direction.

I watched in horror when Tig took a wrong step and stumbled, falling to his knees. His nose was buried in the sand and his hind quarters went air born, throwing Bella over his shoulder. Bella flew through the air and landed flat on her back several feet from where Tig fumbled trying to regain his footing.

"Bella!" I scaled the fence and was running toward her before she even hit the ground.

"Bella! Oh my God, Bella," I called as I touched her face. Her eyes were wide and she was gasping for air as I hit my knees once I reached her side.

Laurent skidded to a stop just behind me, "Is she alright?"

"I don't know," I said as I tried to visually check for any broken bones.

"Holy shit," Bella moaned, her voice rough as she continued to try to catch her breath.

"Are you okay?" I reached out to try to help her into a sitting position, but she waved me off, rolling onto her hands and knees.

"No….I'm… I'm fine, Edward," she rasped. "Just knocked the wind out of me, really…..I swear, Edward, I'm fine," she said, turning her head to look at me while sucking in large gulps of air before sitting back on her heels. I reached out to steady her, placing my hands on both of her hips, and she leaned back into my chest.

"Holy god, woman, you scared the shit out of me." My words came out much harsher than I intended in my panic. "Please….Bella, are you sure you're okay?" I whispered into her hair, burying my nose in her hair before pressing a kiss to the back of her head.

She nodded, "I swear, Edward. It just knocked the breath out of me. I'm fine."

"Edward?" Laurent's voice broke through my scattered thoughts and I looked up to where he stood just in front of Bella. He nodded behind me and I turned to look over my shoulder in the direction he motioned.

"Shit," I groaned under my breath as I took in the sight of Tig standing near where he had stumbled with an obviously painful front leg.

"What?" Bella was instantly concerned as she followed my gaze. "Oh, no….no, Edward, this can not be happening. Not now."

I scrambled to my feet and helped Bella from the ground before we crossed to where Tig stood so I could get a closer inspection of the seriousness of his injury.

The anxiety was rolling off Bella. As we approached Tig, he dropped his head into her abdomen, nudging her as if trying to apologize for dumping her a few moments before.

"It's alright, buddy," Bella crooned as she patted his head.

I looked over to Laurent as I quickly ran my hand over Tig's leg and saw him shake his head. He had seen enough injuries over the years to know that, though this wasn't necessarily a life threatening injury, it certainly was not good and definitely meant the end of the competition for Tig.

"What's wrong with him, Edward?" Bella said, the concern and emotion clear in her voice.

"Um…..it looks like he's pulled a tendon, Bella."

"He's out then, isn't he?"

I nodded my head, "Yeah, I'm sorry, baby. He'll need a lot of stall rest and some anti-inflammatory meds to heal this up, along with some warm soaks, but I think he should be okay for next year."

I hoped I could quell some of her disappointment by making sure she knew that he should make a full recovery, but she only nodded sadly and patted Tig's muzzle.

"Yeah, there's always next year, I guess," she whispered, pressing her forehead against Tig.

Laurent and I slowly led Tig back to the stables as Bella made her way to the registration desk to notify them he would be pulled from the competition. Unfortunately, that moved Raven further up the line, so Bella would have to begin warming him up immediately.

Though I was well aware she had been thrown many times, to be standing nearby and witnessing it at this point in our lives was something I did not want to see again.

I was still shaking slightly as the memory of watching Bella's tiny body sail through the air and land, hard, on the ground flipped through my mind. I ran a hand through my hair and released a heavy sigh with the knowledge that I would have to watch her climb back in the saddle in a very short period of time.

"Edward, you're gonna have to let it go. I know that scared the hell out of you, honestly it scared me up pretty bad, too, but it's all part of it. You know that, and Bella will bust your balls if you go all overprotective on her now," Laurent said, a knowing look on his face.

I nodded. He was right, but I had a difficult time getting a handle on the overwhelming fear that burned in my chest and caused my stomach to turn.

Laurent and I worked in comfortable silence to care for Tig and make him as comfortable as possible. I administered an anti-inflammatory along with some pain medication as Laurent soaked the leg in a bucket full of warm water and Epsom salts. It was the most we could do for him until we got him home.

I stood from repacking the medications in the steamer trunk outside Tig's stall when I felt a pair of small arms wrap around my waist from behind.

Straightening, I placed my hands over her hands that were laced together over my abdomen and felt her press a kiss between my shoulders.

"You okay?" Bella whispered.

"Yeah, but I'm not the one that was eating sand." I pulled her arms away so I could turn to wrap her in mine. "The more important question is, are _you_ okay?"

Bella buried her head in my chest and released a shuttering breath before answering.

"Yes, I swear I would tell you if I was really hurt. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'll be sore as hell tomorrow, but I'm fine. How's Tig?"

I held her tenderly, a little bit afraid of hurting her, and kissed the top of her head before answering.

"He's okay. At least he's comfortable for now. Laurent's soaking his leg and I just gave him some meds. He'll be alright for tonight. Once we get him home I'll do some x-rays just to make sure we're not looking at anything more serious, but I don't think so. I'm pretty sure it's just the tendon. I don't think it's torn, just stretched. It'll take some time, but it will heal."

Bella nodded her head, never looking up from where she had her face still pressed against my chest.

"Um….Edward?"

"Yes, Bella."

"You're not going to get all….ya know, crazy when I have to climb on Raven, are you? You know I have to do this, right?" Bella said, finally pulling back to look up into my eyes.

I took a deep breath and blew it out through my nose slowly, trying with everything in me to tamp down the urge to protect her.

"Bella…I can't tell you that I'm not terrified that you'll get hurt. I know that you've been thrown. Hell, I've seen you get thrown before, but damn it, it's a lot different watching that happen when you're twelve than when you're twenty eight." I pulled her in tighter to my body, tucking her head under my chin. "But I'm going to do everything I can to not flip out and cause this to be harder for you than it's going to be, okay?"

"I guess that's all I can ask," Bella snickered and pressed a kiss to the center of my chest.

We stood wrapped in a tight embrace for a long moment before she pulled back and asked me to help her get Raven ready for his class.

Two hours later, I joined Aro and Heidi Volturi to watch as Raven and Bella entered the arena. The announcer made note that the Swan Ranch had two entries in the championship class, explaining the first entry was a scratch due to an injury.

"The horse that is injured," Aro said as he leaned forward to look around Heidi who sat between us. "He is okay, yes?"

"Yes, he stumbled in the warm up pen and injured a tendon. He should make a full recovery, but it will be a long rehabilitation to get him back to performing."

Aro nodded his understanding before he turned his attention back to the arena.

I held my breath as I watched Bella maneuver Raven through the herd as they worked together to isolate their choice of steers. Once Raven fixated on his choice, he and Bella set in to do what they had worked so hard to perfect.

I watched in awe as Bella expertly guided Raven to cut off the steer at every turn. I released the breath I was holding and watched Bella leave the ring. Even from my seat I could see the smile on her face. The crowd cheered as the scores were released and Bella and Raven's performance was perfection. I shook Aro's hand and he asked me to tell Bella how pleased he was and would be by to congratulate her personally later. I quickly excused myself and made my way back to the barn area to meet Bella.

Laurent was holding Raven and Bella was still in the saddle, but as soon as her feet hit the ground Bella launched herself at me, wrapping her body around mine. My arms instantly locked behind her, holding her to me as I spun her around.

"Oh. My. God! Edward, did you see that?" I couldn't hold in the laughter as she covered my face with kisses.

"Yes, darlin', I saw the whole thing and you were amazing," I said as I set her feet firmly back on the ground.

There were three more contestants after Bella; if her scores held she would be going home with the championship, and the odds were looking good for just that to happen.

Three hours later we were saying goodnight to Aro, Heidi, and Laurent after yet another round of congratulations. Bella had indeed been able to hold onto the lead that she and Raven gained through their near perfect performance. Bella was floating on air as we made our way out of the arena.

Bella called Emmett as soon as we were in the truck on the way back to our hotel. His booming laugh rang out over the phone and Bella smiled as her brother praised her accomplishment.

Once we reached our room, we showered and I inspected Bella's body closely for injuries. We called for room service, and then settled in front of the TV to order up a movie.

We were to meet Laurent at the barn at five am. Even though the trip home was only a little more than four hours, with the injury to Tig's leg, I was concerned that we would need to make a few unexpected stops.

Bella dozed off halfway through the movie. I slid my arms under her and picked her up to carry her to our bed. She sighed as her arms wound around my neck. Her warm breath blew across my neck and I pressed a kiss to her forehead as I lay her under the sheet.

Thanksgiving was only a couple days away and Christmas was just around the corner. I realized that not only would I spend this Thanksgiving with my family, but I had many, many things for which to be thankful for. I was thankful that I finally came to my senses and made the changes in my life that brought me home and back to Bella. I was also thankful for second chances and Bella's forgiving heart. As I drifted off to sleep, my arms unconsciously tightened around Bella's body, pulling her into my chest as the thoughts of how alone I had been the last few years and how thankful I was that this year was so different.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed some fun times for our little couple. We're moving into the holidays with the next chapter and I know I'm being awfully cryptic with the trip and the plans for the proposal as well as their gifts for each other....there are clues as to Bella's gifts for Edward, as well as Edward's gifts for Bella, in the last couple chapters. ::wink::  
**

**Okay, just a little note in remembrance of Rosey, Jessica1971's beloved dog. She passed away one year ago Friday and I know that this week has been exceptionally hard for Jessica and I want to send out ((hugs)) to her and in loving memory of Rosey. And a big hug for Smokey too!  
**

**Translation of Edward's answer to Bella before playing for her:**

Qualsiasi cosa per Lei il mio amore = Anything for you my love.


	32. Chapter 32

**Hello again! I know, I know it's been a while since I last updated and I'll get to the apologies and the reasons for the delay in a moment but first I want to thank the awesomeness of my beta Jessica1971. She has once again worked her magic over this chapter and made it so much prettier. Thank you my dear for all you do for me, and I don't mean just when you're wearing the beta hat. **

**Okay, so if you follow me on Twitter or you've been to the thread on Twilighted (.) net or my blog you know that my daughter has been ill and in and out of the hospital over the last month. So to say it has been a craptastic several weeks would be an understatement. Her health issues coupled with the craziness of trying to coordinate the last few weeks of my schooling with caring for my daughter really did not warrant a flow of creative mojo. So I apologize to you, my wonderful readers, for being so long in updating. Thank you for understanding. **

**Without further ado....**

**oops! Almost forgot... Gotta do this before you can read: Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. The plot and storyline herein is sole property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Okay, now you can read!**

* * *

Chapter 32

A Holiday to remember

BPOV

I groaned as I rolled onto my side and pulled the pillow over my head, hoping that I wouldn't wake Edward. Always over protective, he damn near had a coronary when Tig threw me in the practice ring as I warmed him up.

I knew I had to assure him that I was fine; if Edward knew how much my body was hurting he would never have allowed me to continue with the competition and that was just not an option. There was no question I was going in that ring, and we were going home with the championship come hell or high water.

Edward's warm hand settled on my hip and I winced slightly.

"Bella," he said in his rough morning voice. "You didn't tell me the truth yesterday, did you?"

I groaned in defeat as Edward scooted closer to wrap his body around mine and slid his hand over my abdomen.

"Um…." I hesitated, my head still buried under my pillow as I contemplated how to answer his question.

"Bella," Edward growled in warning as he removed the pillow.

I opened one eye and looked up cautiously to see him glaring at me, and I groaned again. I slowly turned on my back and bit my lip as I tried to figure out how to explain why I wasn't _completely _honest with him. There was no need to hide it any further, he obviously knew. I just needed to decide how to get out of this without him being too angry with me.

Edward turned so that half his body covered mine, holding his weight on one elbow as he lightly ran his hand up and down my side.

I ran a finger along his jaw toward the tiny cleft in his chin and looked up at him through my lashes.

"Uh, yeah, that's not going to get you out of this, missy," he narrowed his eyes at me and grabbed my wrist, pressing his lips to my fingers.

"Edward," I whined and composed my face into the most innocent look I could under the circumstances. "I didn't lie…. exactly."

Edward opened his mouth as if he was going to argue the point, but I rushed on before he could get started on the lecture I knew was building.

"I swear I didn't! I am fine. Edward, if I had told you, what would you have done? Huh?"

He narrowed his eyes at me again and when he didn't answer I continued.

"I'll tell you what you would have done, you would have pitched a fit and tried to keep me out of the competition altogether. That just wasn't an option and you know it. I told you I would be sore this morning and, well…. I'm sore, that's it."

"Bella," Edward growled. "Baby, you can hardly move and don't think I didn't hear you all night, whimpering every time you moved."

"Ugh, Edward…. good grief, I got thrown. It's not a big deal and it's not the first time. You're such a worry wart. Seriously," I complained, "I'm fine. I just need some ibuprofen and I'll be good as new. I'm not that fragile, okay?"

Though I appreciated his concern, understood it even, I was a grown woman and I didn't want or need him going caveman over something that could occur on any given day.

Edward rolled over onto his back with an exasperated growl, throwing an arm over his eyes as I slid painfully out of the bed.

I giggled through the wince of pain as I stood, "Dramatic much?"

Edward huffed and raised his head to glare at me before that sexy crooked grin broke out on his face.

"I love you," I said innocently as I walked into the bathroom to take a shower and find some ibuprofen. I heard Edward return my love just as I closed the door.

Three hours later, the horses were loaded and were on the road toward home. Edward got over his little hissy fit by the time I was out of the shower. I think it helped seeing that the hot water had relaxed my muscles and that I really wasn't injured more seriously.

The euphoria I felt over winning the championship was tempered only by the lingering concern for Tig's injury. Edward assured me that he would make a full recovery and would be ready to pick up where we left off for next season.

As I relaxed into the leather of the seat, thoughts of all the wonderful ways in which my life had changed over the past year flashed through my mind. Though it wasn't all rainbows and unicorns, it was pretty damn close to perfect.

I thought of how much happiness I felt over Edward and I being together, and how it seemed to eclipse the craziness of all the other events of the year. A smile played at my lips as I thought about the night Edward spoke about his intentions for our future, letting me know that he would ask me to marry him, and I wondered when he would actually pop the question.

I didn't really think he would do it as a Christmas thing; that just seemed too cliché for Edward, though I had no doubt whatever he had planned would be over the top. Maybe he had some plan for doing it during Thanksgiving? Everyone would be in one place at one time, which almost never occurred, and it would be like him to make some grand gesture in front of the entire family. I smiled to myself with the thought of how Edward would finally propose, and though I never thought I would want to marry again, I knew that this man was the right one. Edward was my forever and I was thankful he had reentered my life. My cup runneth over with things for which I had to give thanks for this Thanksgiving.

I scooted to the edge of the back seat and folded my arms over Edward's chest and rested my chin on his shoulder. I sighed happily and turned my head to place a kiss on his neck just below his jaw, knowing that he was most definitely at the top of the 'thankful for' list.

He hummed a contented sigh and I could see a smile break across his face as he reached back to cup my face with his hand and leaned his head against mine.

"I'd be much obliged if you'd cut the kissy, kissy out while in my presence, alright?" Laurent teased and winked at me.

"Shut up," I said and smiled as I pressed another kiss to Edward's neck.

Edward snorted as his smile grew wider.

Laurent chuckled and shook his head before turning his attention back to the road.

~*~

We arrived home to a flurry of congratulations from everyone on the success at the finals. It was truly an accomplishment of each and every person on the ranch and would have been impossible without them.

Edward set to work as quickly as we unloaded Tig, re-assessing his injury. Luckily, the x-ray confirmed his original diagnosis; there were no fractures, only a great deal of soft tissue trauma, along with the tendon strain.

Thankfully, Edward assured me again he would make a full recovery. We would just have to work out a rehab schedule and build him back up to competition level before the season began. I was more than relieved that the injury wasn't career ending, or worse.

By the time we walked into our little house, it was late and I was exhausted. The trip home left my body feeling more sore and stiff than when I woke up in the hotel.

I flopped down on the sofa with a heavy sigh. "God, I'm exhausted."

I felt warm breath waft through my hair as Edward bent over the back of the sofa to drop a kiss on top of my head and my eyes closed of their own accord.

Edward's foot falls moved down the hall, I assumed to put the bags in our room.

"Bella," Edward's voice was little more than a soft whisper, but I jumped.

Obviously I had drifted off, my eyes opened and I looked around the room in confusion.

"You okay, baby?" Edward chuckled.

I turned my gaze to meet his green eyes as they danced with mirth. His face creased with his crooked grin that did funny things to my body, and I shook my head to clear the fog.

"Yeah….I must have dozed off."

"Yeah, guess so. Come on," he said, smiling down at me as he hooked an arm under my knees and one behind my back, scooping me up into his arms.

I wound my arms around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder, my eyes drifted closed once again. I felt his chest rise and fall in a sigh and I smiled at the contented sound coming from him.

Snuggled in so close to Edward's body, I suddenly had the realization I must have been out longer than I thought, because he was freshly showered, his chest bare as he wore only his pajama pants.

I felt my brow crease as I caught a strong scent of vanilla.

"What's that…," I trailed off as I slowly opened my eyes.

The bathroom was alight with the soft glow of dozens of tiny candles and I could see he had drawn a bath overflowing with bubbles.

"Edward," I turned my head to see him smiling gently as he dropped my feet to the floor.

"I thought you'd enjoy a hot soak before bed, baby," he whispered as he kissed my forehead.

I smiled and simply nodded because I had completely lost the ability to speak as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. My heart swelled with love for this wonderful man.

Edward slipped his hands under the hem of my shirt. I raised my arms as he slid it from my body and dropped it to the floor behind me. I bit back the moan that threatened to escape as he wrapped his fingers around my neck and brushed his lips with mine briefly before slowly moving those wonderful hands down over my shoulders and arms.

He wove our fingers together as he reached my hands, pulling me closer, and pressed his lips to my forehead, lingering there for a long moment. Edward released my hands to place his on my hips, slipping his long fingers just below the waist of my jeans and around to work loose the button and slowly lower the zipper.

Achingly slow, he pushed the worn denim over my hips, his palms flattened on my thighs as he moved further down my legs. Edward dropped to his knees as his hands reached my calves, my jeans pooled around my ankles.

I placed my hands on his shoulders to steady myself as I stepped out of my jeans, and he tossed them on top of my t-shirt. My eyes fluttered closed as Edward curled his fingers around the top of my hips and pulled me to him, grazing his nose across my abdomen. Without any conscious thought of my own, I ran my hands through his silky hair, enjoying the feel of the thick locks as they slid between my fingers.

Edward tipped his head back into my touch. A sound something close to a purr rolled from his chest as I scratched along his scalp with my fingertips.

I felt his hands slide around my waist and up my back to quickly release the clasp of my bra.

I looked down into his face; his eyes darkened a shade as he reached one finger to the satin straps upon my shoulders and watched as they fell away. He slowly removed the satin and lace from my body, dropping it in the growing mound of clothing just behind me.

I moaned softly as Edward's soft lips pressed to the swell of my left breast, just over my heart.

"I love you," I whispered.

"Mmmm…..God, I love you so much, baby," he murmured against my skin and my body ignited with overwhelming desire.

I tightened my grasp on his hair, holding him more firmly to me, and felt his tongue dart out as he tasted my skin. He placed another open mouthed kiss to the center of my chest. Slowly he made his way down my abdomen, leaving a trail of hot, wet kisses and nips to my skin before he circled my belly button with his tongue. His hands returned to my hips and I felt his thumbs rub small circles over the little indentation above my hips before they hooked in the lacy band of my black boy-shorts.

Edward released a guttural growl as he pressed a kiss to the center of my scar, just above my pubic bone. I heard him take a long shuddering breath as his hands slid over my legs. He pulled back slightly, smiling up at me as my hands went to his shoulders again, and he helped me step out of my panties.

"Edward," I breathed, the need made my voice thick.

"I want to show you how much I love you, Bella…..I just want you…." His voice trailed off and he shook his head. "I want to take care of you tonight, okay?"

The love I saw in his eyes when he turned his face up to mine took my breath away, and my eyes pricked with tears. I cupped his cheek and nodded because I knew I couldn't speak without losing the battle to hold in my tears. Edward's eyes closed as he covered my hand with his, holding mine to his face before he placed a kiss to my palm.

Edward stood and offered his hand to help me step in the tub.

The moan that escaped me as my body sank into the hot water was almost embarrassing; my tight muscles began to relax instantly. I leaned back and rested my head against the side of the tub, sinking further into the bubbles.

"Are you joining me?" I asked, barely above a whisper as my eyes fluttered closed.

Edward didn't answer immediately and I opened my eyes to see his chin propped atop his folded arms as he leaned against the side of the tub.

"No," he murmured, a crooked smile spread across his face as he met my eyes.

"Why?"

He took a long, deep breath, releasing it through his nose before he answered.

"Well, many reasons actually," he said as he stirred the water with a single finger.

My breath caught as his finger grazed the inside of my right knee and his eyes snapped to mine. He blinked slowly, swallowing hard before continuing.

"Bella," he whispered. "If I join you in this tub, I wouldn't be able to keep my promise to make this about loving you," he held up his hand to stop the protest he saw building and chuckled lightly. "I know that I show you how much I love you in that way, baby. That is _not _what I meant and you know it."

I pulled my lip between my teeth in an effort to hold in the comment that was fighting to get out. He quirked an eyebrow at me and I saw the smirk pull at the corner of his mouth.

"What I meant was that I wanted to just take care of you….pamper you, if you will. I want to show you in a different way…… Bella, I know you understand I love you, but I don't think you know just how much I truly adore you," he paused and looked down at the water.

"Bella…." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes and slowly opened them to look at me from under his lashes. "One day very soon I'm going to make you my wife.

"This," he tipped his head toward the water, "is but a small gesture of how much I care for you. Once you are my wife," he paused again before that damn crooked grin broke out on his face. "Well, you'll just have to get used to being pampered."

I smiled and fought to hold the tears burning in my eyes. Hearing his heart in those words, knowing he truly would be a part of my life for a very long time to come, still overwhelmed me with joy.

Edward picked up a new loofa I hadn't noticed until that moment and filled it with a lavender body wash. I couldn't stop the moan that fell from my lips as his hands worked the soreness from my calves.

"Sit up for me, sweetheart," he whispered.

I sat up and lifted my legs to my chest, wrapping my arms around them and resting my cheek on my knees as I turned to look at Edward. Edward lavished loving touches over my back, taking care to be extra gentle around the bruise under my left shoulder blade.

His nimble fingers worked the tie from my hair, letting it fall down my back, the ends just touching the water.

"Tip your head back, please." He smiled a gentle smile.

I closed my eyes and let my head fall back on my shoulders. Soon I felt the warm water wash over my scalp and down my back. The click of what I assumed to be my shampoo bottle broke the silence in the room just before I felt the tips of his fingers brush across the sensitive skin of my back as he gathered my hair atop my head.

I released a shuddering breath as his strong hands worked the shampoo into my hair, gently massaging my scalp, relaxing me completely. At the same time, a burning need coiled in my abdomen. His warm breath floated across the damp skin of my back and a shiver ran down my spine.

"Cold, baby?" he asked as his lips pressed to my naked shoulder.

I shook my head as I pulled my lip between my teeth.

Once my hair was sufficiently cleansed, he rinsed the soap away and offered me his hand. I heard his sharp intake of breath as I stood. The look on his face as he watched the bubbles slide down my body was nearly my undoing.

I stepped from the tub and Edward immediately wrapped my body in a towel from behind. His fingers brushed my hair to one side to press his lips to the area just below my ear.

My head fell to rest on his shoulder allowing him to lavish my warm skin with more open mouthed kisses as his hands dried my body before dropping the towel to the tile floor.

A small whimper escaped me at the loss of warmth from his body, simultaneously with the towel when he stepped away to grab the black silk pajama set from the counter.

He smiled as he once again knelt in front of me. The smile turned into a smirk and a shrug when I quirked an eyebrow in question as I noticed he held the pants but no underwear. I curled my fingers over his shoulders for balance as I stepped into the pants and he slid them on my body, leaning in to kiss my abdomen.

Quickly rising to his feet, he grabbed the tiny camisole and turned back, shooting me an expectant look. I raised my arms over my head with a smirk and sighed as the silk whispered over my skin.

Edward took my hand and led me to the small stool which sat in front of my vanity.

"Edward, you don't have-"

"Yes," he said cutting me off, "I do."

He met the gaze of my reflection and I knew there was no point in arguing as he began to run the brush gently through my hair.

Whatever I had done to be blessed with this man being in my life was beyond me. I hoped my bank of good karma was nowhere near empty, because I knew I would never let him go again.

I jumped as Edward pressed his lips to the top of my head, and I opened my eyes to see him staring at my reflection from under his long lashes. His hands slid over my hair to my neck, then my shoulders, where he squeezed gently before trailing down my arms and laced his fingers with mine.

Edward pulled me to my feet, wrapped me in his arms, and pressed his forehead to mine. We stood that way for a long moment before he took my hand once again and led me to our bed. I slipped beneath the sheets and snuggled down into my pillow.

Though we didn't make love, not in the conventional sense at least, I had never felt more cherished by Edward. Passion and sex had never been an issue for us…._ever_, but the way Edward expressed his love and devotion to me that night was beyond description. A smile creased my face as Edward slid in behind me and wrapped himself around my body just as I drifted off to sleep.

As Thanksgiving Day dawned, I woke with a new sense of peace and contentment on a level I had never experienced. Happy was too simple a word to describe my feelings as I was still wrapped securely in Edward's arms, my head resting comfortably on his broad chest.

The words he said the night before reverberated through my head and brought a smile to my face. I threaded my fingers through the spattering of hair at the center of his chest and scooted up to place a kiss to his stubble roughened jaw.

Reluctantly, I slipped out of the bed, trying my best not to wake him. I padded into the bathroom to run through my morning routine. I stepped out of the pajamas Edward had dressed me in the night before and threw on a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt before slipping out to the kitchen.

I knew I would make my grandmother Marie's sweet-potato soufflé recipe because it was a favorite of Edward's. I wanted to make something special for him.

Though I knew from a conversation not that long ago, Edward had spent the last few Thanksgivings with Demetri and his sister's family. I was glad to know he was not completely alone during the holidays, but I couldn't help the sadness that gripped me at the thought of the years we wasted away from one another.

I shook my head and tried not to allow the regret to creep into the happiness I felt now. I refused to waste any more time or energy dwelling on our past mistakes.

If there was one thing Edward and I had both learned over the rebuilding of our relationship, it was that allowing the guilt of our past to continue to weigh on our present was a dead end street and did nothing to help us move forward. Edward was home _now_, we were together _now,_ and nothing else was important other than moving forward toward a future together.

I poured a large cup of coffee; the hot liquid slid down my throat and I sighed in contentment before grabbing the eggs and bacon from the fridge. I was just finishing the omelets, still lost in my thoughts, when I felt two strong arms wind around my waist.

Edward buried his nose in my hair and inhaled deeply before resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Mmm… you smell delicious this morning," he murmured.

I sighed with the feelings that always washed over my body at his touch and leaned back into his chest.

"Well, it would be thanks to the work of the most amazing man who helped me with my bath last night." I turned to kiss his cheek and hand him an omelet.

"Hmm…." He hummed and shook his head as his eyes shone with happiness.

His eyes grew wide as he tilted his head toward the soufflé on the counter.

"Is that what I think it is?"

He stuck a finger in the sweet potatoes and laughed as I swatted at his hand.

"Stop that," I scolded, "you can wait until dinner."

"Un uh, I can't wait. Oh, are you going to put those little marshmallows on top, like your grandma used to do? And the brown sugar and pecans?" he asked as he turned to pour a cup of coffee.

"You're like a kid in a candy store this morning." I laughed at his excitement over the soufflé as I set the dish inside the oven before closing the space between us.

"Hmm," he hummed over the top of his cup as he released a long breath through his nose.

He set his cup down on the counter beside his plate to curl his fingers around my hips. His eyes flicked between my lips and my eyes.

"I feel more like a man very thankful for the beautiful woman who gave him a second chance to share her life."

My breath caught in my chest and I felt the prickling of tears as his words washed over me.

"Edward," I breathed and framed his face in my hands.

"Bella, I love you so much…..thank you for giving," he gestured between the two of us, "this…_us_, a chance to become something again."

He bent to bring his lips to mine in a soft, sweet kiss. The feel of our lips molding to one another filled my heart and overwhelmed me with the utter devotion he showed me in every touch.

Edward pulled back slightly as our kiss became delicate brushes before it stopped altogether. I leaned my forehead against his broad chest and tried to catch my breath. The amount of love I felt burning in my chest for this man was almost more than I could stand.

I slid my palms over the bare skin of his chest and wound my arms around his neck before pressing my cheek to the area over his heart. I held him to me tightly as his hands rubbed up and down my back, lovingly.

When I felt I had some control over my emotions, I pressed a kiss to where my cheek had just laid and looked up into his deep green eyes.

"I love you, Edward."

Edward tightened his arms around my waist and buried his nose in my hair, returning my love in a breath. For a long moment we lost ourselves in the emotions before pulling apart and taking a seat at the bar.

Once we finished breakfast and the dishes were loaded in the dishwasher, Edward pulled me into a tight hug and smiled down at me, pecking a kiss to the end of my nose.

"Is there anything else you need me to help with?" he asked sweetly as we stood wrapped up in one another in the middle of our kitchen.

I took a deep breath and released it slowly before assuring him that I was practically finished and only needed him to help pack up everything before we left for Emmett's.

Edward kissed me once more then pulled away reluctantly, grabbing his coffee cup and padding back down the hall toward our room.

Once I finished up the last of my casseroles, I walked into the office to grab the huge binder of information Alice gave me a few weeks ago containing the details on the annual Swan Ranch Christmas party.

The party started out as a family affair, but had slowly grown into one of the biggest social events of the year.

After the PR nightmare of Tanya's trial, we had high hopes the party would be a way to get some good publicity and raise some money for our chosen charity.

A few years ago, Rosalie had suggested turning the party into a fund-raising event to benefit a deserving charity. We made sure to choose an organization with some tie to equine issues or uses.

Last year we donated over twenty thousand dollars to a local ranch that does hippo-therapy for children with special needs like cerebral palsy. This year we were donating to the equine division of the Houston ASPCA.

I returned to the kitchen, placing the binder on the counter so I wouldn't forget it when we left, and removed the last casserole from the oven before heading back to our room to get dressed.

My breath caught in my throat as I opened the door. I placed my hand over my heart as it jumped into my throat.

Edward stood at our dresser with his back to me, fastening his watch around his wrist. He was dressed in a dark green button down and a pair of black casual dress pants, a narrow leather belt around his trim waist. He simply was the most beautiful man I had ever seen.

Slowly, he turned to face me as he rolled his sleeves until they rested at the elbow.

"Hey," he said, his mouth curled up in a sexy smirk.

I smiled, "Hey."

"Will you be ready soon?"

"Um….yeah," I cleared my throat and shook my head, smiling to myself. "I just need to change, and then I'll be ready. Would you mind loading the car while I get dressed?"

Edward crossed to where I stood by the door and bent to kiss my cheek.

"Not at all, baby. Where's the box you said to pack everything in?"

"In the office," I smiled up at him, meeting his gaze.

I watched as he left the room, taking a deep breath and shaking my head as I walked into the closet to grab my outfit.

~*~

"Baby girl!" My brother's voice boomed through the entire house as we entered.

"Hey, br-," my words were cut off as Emmett lifted me above his head and swung me around.

"UGH! Emmett, you idiot, put me down," I yelled and slapped at the big oaf as he laughed.

"Emmett, put your sister down before you drop her," Renee scolded. "I swear you're no better than you were when you two were kids."

"Ass," I scowled at Emmett, but couldn't fight the smile on my face when he wrapped me in a bear hug.

"Aw, baby girl, you know I love you. I'm so proud of you! You kicked ass and took names at the finals." Emmett smiled, his cheeks deeply dimpled as he released me.

"Hello, Edward," Renee said with a smile as she kissed his cheek before directing him to deposit the box of casseroles in the kitchen. Edward returned a kiss to Renee's cheek and followed Emmett out of the room.

"Hey, momma," I whispered as Renee pulled me in for a hug.

"Hey, baby girl," she beamed at me and kissed my cheek. She linked my arm with hers and we made our way to where the rest of the family had congregated.

Carlisle, Charlie, Emmett, Edward, and Rosalie's father were engrossed in deep conversation. From the looks of it, you would have thought they were deciding on a solution for the national debt. After a moment of listening in to hear the merits of one quarterback versus the opposing team's defense, the true nature of their discussion became clear.

Garrett was happily putting his two cents worth in from his perch in his PawPaw's arms.

I caught the look in Esme's eyes as she looked at Edward. A soft smile graced her face and she placed a hand on his cheek as she passed on her way through the room. It hit me hard at that moment. I wasn't the only one happy that Edward was home.

"BEWWA!" Garrett's sweet voice filled the air.

I knelt down as Charlie set him on his feet and he ran toward me. I scooped him up and nuzzled my nose into his soft curls. Blowing a raspberry against his cheek, I gained a peal of laughter from the beautiful boy.

"'Top, Bewwa," Garrett said as he wrapped his little arms around my neck and hugged me to him.

I giggled and held him to me for a second longer before he wriggled his way out of my grasp and was on his way back to the big boys.

Edward of course was beaming as Garrett made his way over to him. Kneeling down, he wrapped him in a hug.

Renee and Esme made their way back to the kitchen as I walked over to where Rosalie sat with baby Abbey wrapped in her arms, rocking slowly.

"Hey, how's the momma?" I asked.

"She's good," Rosalie scoffed. "Feeling a bit like a milk cow at the present moment, but otherwise good."

I laughed at her reference to the trials of breastfeeding. Abbey was drifting off into a blissful sleep and Rosalie excused herself to put her down for a nap.

Making my way back into the kitchen, I set to work helping with getting dinner ready as I heard the door bell chime followed by the tinkling laugh I would recognize anywhere.

"Bella!"

I looked up as Alice bounced into the room and wrapped me in a tight hug.

"Alice, oh my god, it's so good to see you," I said, returning her embrace.

Though Jasper and Carlisle were both at the finals, I had not seen Alice since the day after Abbey's birth.

"Oh my gosh, Bella, I cannot believe that you won finals. Well, actually I can believe it, but still, you know what I mean. This year has been so crappy and then you go and just blow everyone out of the water. I'm so proud of you," she said with a huge smile on her face.

"Thank you, Alice," I said, ducking my head at her praise. "Jasper didn't do too bad himself."

"Oh! I know," she laughed and grabbed my arm. "I'm so proud of him. He and daddy are really surprised at where he placed. Jasper was thinking it would take a bit longer with Bo, ya know?"

I nodded in agreement, knowing full well the trouble Jasper had getting a solid performance out of Bo leading up to finals. Jasper and I had several conversations about different techniques to try to get out of Bo what was obviously just under the surface.

"Oh, I have the binder about the Christmas party in the car. Maybe later we can sit down with Rose and nail down the final details?"

Alice clapped her hands and agreed that since we were all in the same spot for once; it would be the perfect time.

I finished the last place setting as Lillian Hale-Whitlock strode in the room followed by an exhausted looking Rosalie.

Lillian, Renee, Esme, and Carmen Denali had been the best of friends for years. I always hoped that my friendship with Rosalie and Alice would be much the same.

"So, Bella, have you and Edward set a date? When is the joyous occasion?" Lillian asked, a warm smile on her face.

"Mother," Rosalie hissed.

I heard Alice gasp as she and Rosalie looked back and forth between each other.

"Um….well…I mean, we've talked about it, but he hasn't…he hasn't actually asked….not officially," I stammered and felt my face heat as the memory of Edward's words from the previous night looped through my mind.

"What?" she asked, a look of confusion on her face. "Oh, but Esme told me-"

"Oh, Lillian, you know how Edward is," Alice interrupted quickly, giving her a pointed look. "Everything has to be just so. I'm sure he's just waiting for the perfect opportunity," she waved a hand above her head and giggled nervously.

I wasn't able to form a response before a commotion behind me drew my attention to the entry of the dining room.

"Alrighty, everyone to the table," Esme called as she entered the dining room, carrying what had to be the largest turkey I had ever seen.

It was no surprise my mountain of a brother was hot on her heels, followed by the rest of the family.

I shot a look at Alice, who was doing her best to busy herself with readjusting the flower arrangement on the table and avoiding my gaze.

Charlie sat at the head of the table, the place which was typically Emmett's, but today he sat to Charlie's right. Rosalie placed Garrett's high chair between herself and Emmett. He loudly protested the absence of turkey in his plate, slapping a pudgy little hand flat on his tray. I snorted as the thought ran through my head that there was no doubt about Emmett being his father. I sat beside Rosalie and her parents were to my right.

Renee sat to Charlie's left. Edward sat across from Rosalie, next to Alice, followed by Jasper with Esme to his left. Carlisle took his place at the opposite end of the table from Charlie.

I smiled and looked at each of the faces of my family as Charlie returned thanks for the wonderful meal and the blessings we were granted over the past year.

The people gathered around the table meant more to me than I could ever express. Carlisle and Esme were always a part of my life, strong and loving; they truly were like a second set of parents to me and Emmett. Lillian and Chase Hale-Whitlock were like an older aunt and uncle.

Alice had been my best friend since we were in diapers. The same was true for Rosalie, though she was a year older than Alice and I; we had always been the three musketeers.

I knew the years Tyler and I were together had been hard on both Alice and Rosalie. Truly, I don't know how Tyler escaped with his balls still intact. I know Rosalie had threatened castration on more than one occasion, and that was before we were married.

Then there was Jasper. How do I even describe the ways in which Jasper had been exactly what I needed, when I needed him? Jasper was the quiet one in our little group, preferring to keep to the background and let the rest of us put our necks on the line. Though, truth be told, he was the mastermind behind the over the top adventures of our youth.

Jasper had been a confidant, both personally and professionally. His opinion on many aspects was one I valued above all others. He was one of the few people where what you see is exactly what you get.

Emmett's booming laughter broke through my thoughts. I shook my head laughing as he pretended to steal the food Rosalie had placed on Garrett's tray. My brother's silliness and eternally being a kid at heart was one of the things I loved about him above all else. As much as we got on each other's nerves daily, Emmett would always have a special place in my heart. He was my brother bear and I loved him dearly.

I sighed happily as I looked at my parents. They had shown Emmett and me the model of a good marriage. They had their problems over the years, but they loved one another. Even through the rough patches, they stuck together and came out stronger on the other side.

I smiled as I caught Edward's eye across the table. Edward brought a light into my life; he was like a beacon in the long night, leading me out of the dark.

Dinner was……loud, as it was with any gathering when we were all under one roof. The conversation flowed from one subject to the next with hardly a breath taken between; each person gave their best effort to ensure their thoughts were heard on every given subject.

Chase was very interested in the deal we were working through with the Volturi ranch and the possibilities that were going to open up by a tie with their internationally recognized name.

Alice was in charge of bringing the dessert and had procured an amazing selection from one of the bakers she and Esme used frequently for catering.

"Dear lord, Alice, we have got to serve this at the Christmas party," I moaned as the chocolate cheesecake melted on my tongue.

By the end of dinner, everyone had eaten more than what seemed physically possible.

I realized I hadn't spent any time with just the girls in quite a while and I missed that. It was nice to just to relax and talk while cleaning the table after the men excused themselves. Renee, Esme, and Lillian put away the leftovers, what little was left, while Alice, Garrett, and I did the dishes.

"Hey Bella, you want to go over those details for the party now?" Alice asked as she handed Garrett the last spoon which he placed in the dishwasher.

"Absolutely," I said and looked to Rosalie who walked in the room at that moment with a very fussy Abbey that had just woken up cradled in her arms.

"Is now a good time for you?" I asked, gesturing to the baby and the fact she was adjusting herself in preparation to nurse Abbey once again.

"Yep," she nodded, "I can nurse the baby and look at color swatches at the same time. You know, multi-tasking and all," she smirked and waved a hand dismissively as she threw a blanket over her shoulder.

"How about grabbing that," Renee gestured to the bottle of wine on the counter. "And we'll move this party out to the back deck. I'll be right out once I put this little guy to bed."

I laughed as Garrett squealed when Renee scooped him up into her arms and nuzzled his neck.

Alice linked her arm with mine as I picked up the wine bottle and my glass; she hugged my arm, leaning her head on my shoulder as we followed the others out on to the deck.

The night air was crisp but comfortable as Rosalie, Alice, Esme, and I settled around the wrought iron table. Lillian relaxed in one of the chaise lounges in the corner.

Alice and Esme set in on their suggestions for the party. I noticed Renee slip through the door and take the lounge by Lillian about half way through the decision making session. Two hours later, the colors were picked, the menu set, and the music decided upon.

A full seven course sit down consisting of several of Alice and Esme's own creations and that amazing chocolate cheesecake, would round out the dinner service. A small four piece orchestra would play during the silent auction, as well as dinner. A live band would set up and play later in the evening for dancing after dinner. The sheer number of wait staff that would be required made my head spin.

I just hoped the effort would be reflected in the amount of donations taken in during the silent auction.

Rosalie had worked the phones relentlessly before Abbey was born, securing items to be offered from local, as well as national businesses. The contacts she made through her photography clientele and colleagues came in handy in providing a variety of amazing offers for services and collectibles that were sure to bring in some big donations.

"Bella, tell me more about this trip I hear you and Edward are going on after Christmas," Lillian said as she waved her glass above her head and tipped it towards Renee.

I groaned and took a long sip from my glass. Rosalie snorted and rolled her eyes at my expression before she excused herself to put the baby back to bed.

Renee chuckled as she filled Lillian's glass before saying, "Has Edward told you anymore about the trip?"

"Um…. no," I grumbled and stood to take the bottle from my mother and fill my own glass.

"Not unless you count that we have to be at the airport at four am the day after Christmas as telling me anything more." I rolled my eyes in aggravation.

Alice and Esme giggled at the clear frustration I felt over Edward's avoidance of any specifics about our trip.

Edward had been exceptionally secretive about this trip, but I took the fact we had to arrive at such an ungodly hour as a good indication the flight would be a long one, but past that I had no clue as to what to expect.

"He even told me not to worry about what to pack and assured me it would all be taken care of, whatever that means," I groaned, taking a sip of my wine as I sat back in my chair.

"Hey, baby," Edward's velvety voice crooned as his lips grazed my ear, causing a shiver to run down my spine. "Have I told you how beautiful you look today?"

I shook my head in shock as the rest of the men sauntered through the door, each one in their own state of feeling no pain. Jasper, smooth as silk, slid Alice from her seat and into his lap amidst her squeals of surprise. I turned back as I heard another high pitched squeal as Carlisle swept Esme into his arms and planted a firm kiss on her lips.

I craned my neck around to look up at a very tipsy Edward leaning with one hand on the back of my chair. His usually bright green eyes were slightly glazed and he had a crooked grin on his face.

"Are you drunk?" I asked and leaned away to get a better look at him.

"No," he denied a little too quickly, shaking his head as he stood up straight.

"Edward Cullen, I believe you are," I said, quirking an eyebrow.

"Nope, I'm not," he snickered.

"I lost a hundred bucks…..on the football game," he said, his brow furrowed as he ran a hand through his hair.

I stood and took a step toward him. Edward smirked and wrapped his arms around my waist; his fingers laced at the small of my back and pulled me flush with his body.

"Aw, poor baby, did you lose to Jasper again?" I asked as I framed his face with my hands.

"Huh?" he asked as he stared at my mouth, completely ignoring the question.

"Oh, lord, you are drunk," I said, laughing and dropping my forehead to his chest.

"Hmm…" he released a breath through his nose.

I slid my hands down his neck to rest on his chest and looked up through my lashes to meet his hooded gaze. I gasped and my eyes widened at the intensity of his expression. Desire coiled in the pit of my stomach.

"I'm not that drunk, darlin'," he whispered and leaned toward me.

His warm breath blew across my face and assaulted my senses. I fisted the soft fabric of his shirt, the erratic beat of his heart thumped beneath my fingertips.

Edward slid his strong hands up my back, kneading the muscles gently on their way to thread his fingers into my hair. He caressed my jaw gently with his thumbs and tilted my face toward his.

He slowly skimmed his nose alongside mine, not quite touching, but ghosting over my lips as his tongue darted out wetting his bottom lip. My eyes fluttered closed and I could hardly breathe with the anticipation. Just as Edward pressed his lips to mine….

"Hey, cut that shit out, Cullen, that's my baby sister you're mauling," Emmett bellowed through a loud guffaw.

My eyes shot open as Edward growled in frustration, releasing his hold on me. I glared at the idiot that is my brother, only causing him to laugh louder. A smack to the back of his head brought him up short.

"Ow! What the hell?" he asked, rubbing the injured area and turning to look at Rosalie who had slipped through the door just in time to hear his comment.

Everyone burst into laughter as Rosalie stood with her arms crossed and an eyebrow quirked, daring him to make a comment. Emmett dropped his head and muttered an apology.

"I do believe that's a good sign it's time for the older set to make our exit," Charlie chuckled and stood to pull Renee from her chair.

Chase and Lillian agreed and said their goodbyes before making their way to the door. Esme assured them she and Carlisle would be glad to take them home. Esme then hugged each of us before she took Carlisle's hand and followed the Hale-Whitlock's out the front door.

"Damn, what were you going to do to your little woman there, in front of the parental units and all….I thought we were the newlyweds," Jasper winked and kissed Alice's cheek.

"Shut the hell up," Edward said through gritted teeth, throwing himself in my vacated chair.

I shook my head but couldn't hold in the chuckle at Edward's sudden mood swing. A cockblocked and drunk Edward was a bit of a grumpy Edward.

"Hey," I rubbed Edward's shoulders and felt his muscles relax under my touch. "I think maybe it's time for us to get going as well, yeah?"

"Aw, don't go home yet," Rosalie said pleadingly. "I just got the babies in bed and Renee said she would listen out for them."

I laughed and asked Edward, who conceded. We both knew Rosalie needed some adult conversation when she didn't have to look after a child other than her husband.

Edward took my hand, pulling me down into his lap, and wrapped one arm firmly around my waist while the other took a beer from Emmett.

The conversation that flowed around our little circle was ridiculous as a _not drunk_ Edward, Jasper, and Emmett razzed one another relentlessly. I truly couldn't remember the last time I laughed so much. The whole setting brought back memories of times when we were younger.

It was obvious from the copious amounts of beer the boys were putting away that Edward would not be capable of driving, so I switched from wine to water.

"Rosalie," I called. "I'm going to get a bottle of water, you want one?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind," she said as she wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes.

I made my way into the kitchen to grab the water and a few snacks. As I stepped back through the French doors, I could hear the laughter echoing off the trees.

"Shut it, assholes," Edward said, but he chuckled all the same.

"What?" I asked, a confused expression coloring my face as I looked around at everyone in different degrees of laughter.

"Oh my God, Bella," Alice snorted. "Do you remember the end of the year bonfire our sophomore year?"

I furrowed my brow and handed Rosalie her bottle of water before setting the snacks on the table.

"Um….sort of, why?"

"Baby girl, you have to remember," Emmett said and shot a look at Edward before losing his composure once again.

I rolled my eyes at my brother's complete ridiculousness and looked at Edward. He was shaking his head as he spun the beer bottle between his index finger and thumb.

I sat down in the chair next to Edward, kicking off my shoes and tucking my feet under me, still at a complete loss. I remembered the bonfire they were talking about, I just couldn't remember anything that occurred being that ridiculously funny.

"I remember…." I looked around the group, still not seeing what was so funny. "I went with…oh god, what was his name?"

"Daniel Thomas," Edward ground out.

"Yeah," I blinked, confused by the hardness of his voice.

"Yes!" Emmett clapped his hands together, his voice bounced around the backyard. "Damn, I couldn't remember his name either."

Alice buried her face in Jasper's chest, her whole body shook with her laughter as Emmett and Rosalie continued to chuckle from the chaise lounge.

"What am I missing here?" I asked, feeling completely out of the loop.

"Son," Jasper laughed, "I can't believe you never told her what happened that night."

"Jesus," Edward groaned, taking a long pull from his beer bottle.

"Okay, well I think it's fairly well established that I have no a clue what you people find so funny, so would someone care to enlighten me?"

"I never liked that guy," Emmett said with a little more seriousness, but still a huge grin on his face.

"He always rubbed me the wrong way," Edward nodded.

"Pfft….that's an understatement," Jasper said and tipped his beer bottle toward Edward before he turned it up to hide the grin on his face.

It was slightly irritating that everyone knew what happened except me, but they continued as if I had said nothing at all.

"Enough," I said and slammed my water bottle on the glass top of the table, exasperated. "Would someone please tell me what exactly happened that I obviously don't know about? And stop with all the cryptic shit, because it's starting to piss me off."

They all stopped and looked at me with wide eyes before bursting out in a fresh wave of laughter. My jaw dropped and I stared at them in annoyance. Even Edward chuckled.

"Bella, didn't you ever wonder why Edward warmed the bench for the final game of the season that year? Or why Daniel was out of school for days after? And when he did come back, why he avoided you and hot head over there?" Rosalie pointed toward Edward, a smile firmly in place on her face.

I furrowed my brow in thought, remembering the day of the bonfire and those that followed. Daniel was a senior and I was excited that Charlie actually allowed him to pick me up. I remember Daniel tried to kiss me when he dropped me off and I told him I thought we would be better staying friends. He wasn't real happy with being turned down. The next week at school he was out for the first few days, and when he returned he wouldn't even look in my direction.

Edward and I weren't a thing then. Although I knew I had feelings for him, up to that night we hadn't pursued anything between us.

"I didn't really .....I told Daniel that we could be friends so I just figured, ya know.… " I trailed off as I looked at the faces of my family.

"Why don't you tell Bella the reason you didn't play in that game, Scrappy?" Jasper teased.

"Scrappy?" I asked and looked to Edward, who was staring a hole in the table top and swirling the half empty beer bottle in his hand.

"Oh for the love of God, Edward, you are so dramatic," Alice said, slapping her hand on the table top.

"Daniel came back to the bonfire after he dropped you off, running his mouth about getting 'lucky'," she continued and actually used air quotes. "Emmett and Rose had already left. So…..Edward got to him first."

My eyes widened and I looked at Edward, "So you….what?"

"Beat the shit out of him, that's what, 'til he admitted you didn't even kiss him. Coach Hawkins pulled Edward off and set his ass on the bench for fighting at a school related event," Jasper said with a smirk.

Alice snorted, "That was nothing compared to the coronary Carlisle had when Coach Hawkins called him about the fight. I thought he was literally going to bust a gut."

"You defended my honor, huh?" I asked, a smile on my face as I turned toward Edward.

I reached over and ran my hand through his hair. He leaned into my touch and I could see the smile playing at his lips. He nodded as he took my hand and pulled me from my seat and into his lap. I knew he and Daniel had been benched for fighting, but had no idea that it was because of me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his in a soft kiss. He sighed and brushed his tongue along my bottom lip. I threaded my fingers into his hair as his hands ran up my back and pressed me closer to his body.

The loud clearing of a throat brought us back to the present and I pulled back to look into his eyes. They had softened and he wore my favorite crooked grin on his perfect lips.

"I wonder whatever happened to Daniel Thomas," Jasper mused with a shit eating grin on his face.

I groaned as Edward's head snapped up to look at Jasper.

"Alrighty then…. I definitely think it's time for us to head home," I laughed and stood from Edward's lap, pulling him with me.

* * *

**So I hope you enjoyed our little couples first Thanksgiving together. The next chapter is EPOV and will take us into Christmas. So we are nearing the trip and the awaited proposal. I know you're all wondering where he's taking her.....I think you'll be pleased with what our dear boy has planned for his girl. **

**Thank you all again for your kind words in all the reviews. MMB has had OVER 140,000 hits here on FF and is nearing the 2000 review mark. Actually it's over that if we combine Twilighted and FF reviews. So thank you all so very much. I haven't replied to many of your reviews and I, again, am sorry for that. I hope you understand that though I haven't replied I do read them each and everyone, and appreciate them all. **

**Come visit the thread on Twilighted if you have not done so in the past. I am working on being more visible there and posted a picture tease for Ch 33 already. The link is on my profile as well as the link to my blog.**

**Until next time.....**

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

**BUS  
**


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended. The plot and story within is the property of the author. **

**A/N: So first things first...Thank you to my super duper beta Jessica 1971. She's worked her magic once again over the chapter. =)**

**There's a bit of business at the bottom...**

* * *

Chapter 33

EPOV

Slowly the pounding in my head woke me from my comatose state. Snippets of images flashed through my mind from the night before.

I barely remembered coming home, and I think I _may_ have tried to convince Bella that I was perfectly capable of driving.

She _may_ have threatened to kick my ass, but I couldn't be totally sure because most of the night was slightly blurred. I wasn't positive about the things that actually happened versus the ones that were a by-product of the amount of alcohol I consumed.

"Holy shit," I groaned, rubbing a hand over my face. I held it over my eyes, trying to keep out the little bit of light filtering in the room through the window.

Everything hurt. Even my damn hair hurt.

What the hell was I thinking?

I tried to lie as still as possible, sure if I moved another inch my eyeballs would fall out of their sockets.

I didn't even want to breathe for fear that the movement of the air around me would cause my head to completely explode.

I was convinced I must be dying, that was the only way to explain how my body felt at the moment.

The nerves and then the overwhelming relief I felt after my talk with Charlie were the catalyst for my liver killing consumption.

Never, and I mean never, should I drink that much.

I gingerly rolled to my left side, pulling the covers over my head. If I could just sleep, the epic hang-over shittiness I felt would subside.

That would be the perfect day, snuggled in close to Bella in a warm bed. I smiled at the thought of spending the day wrapped up with my beautiful girl.

The smile slowly fell from my face as I reached for Bella and realized I was alone in bed at the same time I heard a giggle. I peeked over the covers to spot Bella smiling and shaking her head as she stepped out of the bathroom.

I returned her smile despite the pain in my head, happily noticing Bella was wearing one of my old Auburn t-shirts.

I pushed the covers down a bit further and allowed my eyes to travel down her body. The t-shirt hit her at mid thigh and my smile turned into a smirk as I noticed her legs were bare.

I watched her cross the room; hang-over be damned, it did funny things to my body seeing Bella wear my clothes.

"How ya feelin' there, cowboy?" she chortled, a smirk pulling at the corner of her beautiful mouth.

She reached out and ran her fingers through my hair before she bent to kiss my forehead. My eyes closed of their own accord at her touch and the feel of her skin against mine.

"Shhh, you're supposed to be quiet when you visit the dead," I mumbled and covered my head with the blanket, curling one arm under my pillow.

She snorted and curled her fingers around the blanket, pulling it down to peek at me, the smile still on her face. "Am I visiting the dead, then?"

"Ummhmm….'cause I have to be dead to feel this shitty," I moaned.

"Oh," she whispered. "I see. So the explanation is that you died sometime in the night and not just that you're hung over? Having nothing to do with the ungodly amount of alcohol you consumed yesterday?"

"Nuh uh….absolutely nothing. I'm dead. You should be mourning me," I said with all the seriousness I could muster.

Evidently she didn't believe me, because I heard her chuckle again and I couldn't help the smile that cracked my face at the sound.

Bella slid under the covers and I draped an arm around her waist as she snuggled into me, entwining her legs with mine.

"Mm hmm," she hummed. "I really should be…" she trailed off, dragging a finger across my bare chest, "and I am…..terribly distraught over my loss."

The smile on my face grew as Bella pressed her lips to my chin, and I almost purred as she threaded her fingers in the hair at the center of my chest.

Unfortunately, that feeling was short lived as her next words wiped it all away.

"Regardless of my overwhelming sadness, you have to get up. You promised to help me finish our Christmas shopping today."

"Oh God," I groaned and turned my head into my pillow, squeezing my eyes tightly shut. "Don't make me do that, baby, please," I begged, my voice muffled. "I'm dying here. You should have more sympathy for me."

Bella snorted as her lips found the hollow of my throat and she nipped gently at the skin. My breathing began to pick up as the electricity shot down my spine at her touch.

"Yeah, well, I might," she kissed my collarbone, "have more sympathy if the said dying was not," Bella's tongue snaked out to draw lazy circles as she moved her way up the side of my neck, "the repercussions of self inflicted alcohol consumption," she whispered as she sucked the lobe of my ear into her mouth and bit down lightly.

I hissed as she released the lobe from her mouth and flicked it with her tongue, and then blew a breath of air over the wet skin.

My free hand, which was resting at the small of her back, made its way down to her thigh before curling my fingers around her knee and hitching her leg over my right hip. Bella moaned gently in my ear as this new position pressed my very obvious reaction to her where we both needed a little friction.

The tips of my fingers found the hem of her shirt and began pushing it up her torso.

I couldn't hold back the moan that rolled from my chest as I realized that Bella waswearing _only_ my t-shirt. My fingers danced their way over her hip and slowly across her ribs to brush the underside of her breast.

Bella arched her back and pressed herself into my touch as I cupped her in my palm before circling the nipple with my thumb.

I smiled as the flesh peaked with my touch and bent to press my lips to hers in what began as a tender kiss, but quickly became much more passionate as Bella flattened her palm in the center of my chest and began sliding it slowly down across my abdomen.

I palmed her breast again and felt more than heard her hum in pleasure. I slid my arm from under my pillow to thread my fingers in her hair, holding her to me tighter as I deepened the kiss.

The muscles contracted as she slid her hand back and forth, skimming her fingers along the band of my sleep pants.

My breath hitched, and I might have whimpered just a little, as she suddenly pushed her hand inside and wrapped her fingers around my length.

"Oh God, Bella," I said, a strangled groan ripped from my throat.

"I'm sorry," she said as she gripped me in her palm. "Did you want me to stop?" she asked. Her tone held a hint of teasing as she moved her lips to kiss along my jaw.

"God, no…..don't you dare stop," I ground out and clenched my jaw against the intensity of the sensations that rolled through my system.

My hand slipped from her breast as Bella nudged me onto my back.

She curled both hands in the band of my pants and began sliding them down over my hips. I lifted slightly as she removed them from my body, taking my boxers along for the ride.

She smirked as she threw them over the side of the bed to the floor.

I sucked in a quick breath when she straddled my legs, taking me in her hand once again, and began to move slowly up and down my shaft.

"God, baby," I moaned and unconsciously gripped her thighs as she bent to press a kiss to my abdomen.

She skimmed her nose from side to side just below my navel as she continued to work me with her hand.

I jumped and hissed when she bit down on my hip bone before soothing it with her tongue, and then I heard a chuckle bubble from her chest as she kissed my tip before taking me into her mouth.

Squeezing my eyes closed as the warmth and wet of her mouth enveloped me, I pressed my head into the pillow. My fingers bit into her skin as I felt the coil in my abdomen tightening.

"Oh, God," I breathed, "damn, baby, that feels……ah, so good."

She hummed and the vibration sent a shock through my body as she curled her tongue around my tip then quickly took me in again.

I moved my hands to grip the sheets while I was coherent enough to realize I was going to hurt her if I continued to hold her as she worked my body.

"Ah….shit," I gasped and my hips thrust upward into her as she cupped me in one hand and moved me faster in and out of her mouth.

Bella reached out and took one of my hands, moving it to the back of her head. She looked up at me through her lashes with those huge brown eyes, and my heart clenched at the intensity of what I saw shining back at me. It was almost my undoing.

I knotted my fingers in her hair and gently began to guide her over me.

"Ah…Bella, oh God….I'm, ah, oh shit…..baby, I'm gonna," I tried to warn her as I felt my orgasm barreling out of control.

It ripped through me so quickly that there wasn't time to get the words out before I was spilling into her with a guttural grunt.

She swallowed me down as she continued to suck until I was completely spent.

"Baby, I'm sorry……I tried to tell you," I choked out as my hand fell from her hair and I tried to catch my breath.

She chuckled and kissed my abdomen as she crawled up my body to snuggle into my side. I wrapped an arm around her, curling my hand around her hip and holding her tightly to me.

"I don't think you heard me complaining," she said, the smile evident in her voice.

I chuckled and tightened my hold on her as my breathing finally began to return to normal.

"How's the hang over, now?" Bella asked as she nuzzled into the crook of my neck and pressed a kiss to my shoulder.

"Hang over? What hang over?" I murmured against her forehead as I took a deep breath.

I smiled as the scent of her shampoo assaulted my senses. She always smelled so damn good.

"Really?" she asked.

"Umhm," I hummed sleepily and pressed my lips to her forehead. "Best hang-over cure, ever."

"Oh, goody," she trilled as she pulled back and I opened my eyes to see her grin devilishly. "Then you're perfectly fine to go shopping with me."

My jaw became unhinged and I stared at her dumbfounded. She was out of the bed in a flash, giggling,

"Get up! We can still make it to the mall before the sales are all over."

My mouth opened and closed repeatedly, trying to come up with a response before I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Argh…. you are a tricky little woman," I grumped, but couldn't fight the smile that pulled at the corner of my mouth.

She laughed, making her way across the room.

"Get up, sexy, and take a shower so we can get going," she called from the doorway. "I'll go make us some breakfast, k?"

I rolled to my stomach and wrapped my arms around her pillow, "Okay, baby.

"Hey, Bella," I called just as she reached for the door.

Bella turned to look at me over her shoulder and said teasingly, "Yes, lover boy?"

"Love you."

I saw her face change from the playful expression it held a moment ago, softening to reflect the love I knew she felt for me, and she smiled.

"I love you, too, Edward."

I released a contented sigh as I thought about waking up to that woman for the rest of my life. I watched as Bella left the room and then threw the covers from my body. Sitting up on the bed and running a hand through my hair, I smiled to myself.

The memory of the conversation with Charlie from the day before flashed through my mind as I made my way to the bathroom and flipped on the water so it could heat up while I brushed my teeth.

_I wanted to assure Charlie that although I made huge mistakes in the past where Bella was concerned, my intentions were to make her happy, to care for her, and provide for anything she would ever need. I was not the same little boy who had walked away from everyone I cared for because of some stupid martyr syndrome which I seemed to be suffering from at the time._

_Because of Bella, I was a changed man. She made me want to be a better person and I knew that I was on my way to being the man she deserved. _

_Charlie had known me for most of my life. He was well versed on the stupidity of my past and how it had affected not only Bella but my whole family. I was sure my father had spoken to Charlie at one time or another about the shit I put them through. _

_All those facts were going through my mind as Bella and I got ready for Thanksgiving dinner. To say I was nervous as we walked into Emmett and Rosalie's house would be a gross understatement. _

_Most of the family had already arrived and congregated in different areas of the house as I carried the box with the food Bella prepared into the kitchen, following behind Emmett. _

_Rosalie's mother and Esme set to work unpacking the box as soon as I sat it on the counter. I spotted Charlie and made my way over to where he stood with Carlisle and Chase Whitlock._

"_Edward," Carlisle greeted, extending his hand and pulling me into a one armed hug. "How are you, son?"_

_I smiled and returned his greeting, then shook Chase and Charlie's hands, as well. _

_The conversation turned back to the football game, discussing stats and one player's merits versus another. Garrett eventually made his way over to me and began filling me in on everything I missed over the last week while we were at finals. _

_As my mother called us to dinner, I hung back and caught Charlie's attention._

"_Charlie, can I speak with you a moment?" I asked as everyone filed toward the dining room._

_Of course Emmett was the first one out of the room and I laughed, shaking my head because some things just never change. _

_Charlie cleared his throat and dropped his gaze to the floor, pushing his hands into the pockets of his khaki's before I saw the smirk hiding under his mustache. _

"_Sure, Edward, what can I do for you?"_

"_Um….well, sir…I," I stammered and cleared my throat, running a hand through my hair. _

_Now that I was actually faced with speaking to Bella's father, I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. _

_Charlie rocked back on the heels of his boots as the smirk grew on his face, a definite mischievous glint in his eye. _

_I ran my hand through my hair over and over. I took a deep breath in hopes of calming the maelstrom of emotions running through my system. I said a silent prayer for some control of the nausea swirling in my stomach, because throwing up on Charlie's boots was sure as shit not the way to ensure his blessing. _

"_Damn, son," Charlie chuckled and clapped a hand on my shoulder. "Don't hurt yourself. Why don't we go on in and have dinner, then we can talk after? How's that sound?"_

_I nodded and muttered my thanks, releasing the breath I had been holding as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me out of the room to join the rest of the family. _

_Once dinner was over, I followed Charlie to Emmett's study. He made his way over to the wet bar and poured us both a drink._

"_You look like you could use this," he said, smiling as he handed me a glass of Scotch before leaning against the desk._

_He crossed his left foot over his right at the ankle and tilted his glass toward me before he brought his glass to his lips. _

"_Yes sir, thank you," I said, holding the glass up to him before taking a long drink of the amber liquid. _

_I hissed a breath through my teeth as it burned its way to my stomach. _

"_So," Charlie said, quirking an eyebrow as he lowered his glass. _

_I ran a hand through my hair once again and blew out a breath and stared into the glass. I shifted in my seat and cleared my throat. _

"_Well, sir…..um, you know," I started and scooted forward to the edge of the cushion, dropping my hands between my knees. _

"_Charlie."_

"_I'm sorry?" I said in confusion, looking up to meet his amused gaze. _

"_Edward, son, I've known you since you were a little boy. Don't get me wrong," he chuckled, holding up a hand, palm out, "I appreciate the gesture, but there's no reason for all the 'sir' business." _

"_Right…okay, Charlie," I began again and laughed at myself. _

"_I'm sure you're aware of the trip that Bella and I have planned after Christmas," I paused and he nodded in affirmation as he took another sip from his drink. _

"_Um….I…..I plan on asking Bella to marry me, si-," he quirked an eyebrow at me over his glass. "Charlie._

"_I wanted to….well, I know that I haven't done right by Bella in the past, but she's everything to me, Charlie. I hope you know that I will do whatever is in my power to make her happy," I paused, taking another deep breath before meeting his gaze. _

"_I wanted to ask for your blessing, Charlie."_

"_Hmm," he hummed, downing the remainder of his Scotch. _

_I have to say that reaction did nothing for the kangaroos jumping around in my stomach. The nausea I felt earlier returned with a vengeance and I swallowed thickly. Silence filled the room as I waited for him to say something….anything, and stretched on for what seemed like forever. _

_I shifted in my seat, resting my left ankle on my right knee and fingered the hem of my pants. The rush of blood behind my eardrums reached an almost deafening level as I tried to keep my breathing under control and appear as calm as possible while I waited for his answer. _

_I didn't think he would say no. Honestly, Bella was a grown woman. Hell, she'd been married before, but I wanted to do things right by her this time. _

_Doing things right meant getting her father's permission. _

_Charlie twisted and placed his glass on the desk behind him before he turned back toward me, crossing his arms over his chest. He dropped his chin and looked at the floor for an incredibly long moment. _

_My heart pounded in my chest. I tried my damndest to swallow the bile in my throat, the tinkling of the ice in my glass the only sound in the room as I took another sip from my drink. _

_He reached up with one hand and rubbed the back of his neck, then cupped the same hand over his mouth before finally looking up at me with an unreadable expression on his face. _

"_Edward," he said as he smoothed a hand over his moustache. "I have to tell you straight up, son, I didn't think you'd ever come home again. When it went bad between you two, well, Bella was a different person after…." he trailed off, giving me a pointed look. _

_I dropped my head and closed my eyes at the reminder of what I had done to Bella, the images of the day I left her flipped through my mind. _

"_That son of bitch she hooked herself to," he snorted a disgusted sound, "I know you've heard all about this and I'm not tryin' to dredge up bad memories, but…" he said, pausing to take a deep breath. "I agreed with what you did."_

_My head snapped up, my eyes wide with shock as I met his sharp gaze; I saw nothing but the truth in his eyes. _

"_I don't agree with the way you went about it or the way things went after all that, but I didn't think a relationship as serious as the one you two had goin' on was a good idea. Especially with you going off to college so far away, besides I thought she was too young to be so head over heels for a boy like she was for you. I still feel that way. She _was_ too young to deal with that kind of pressure….you both were. That bein' said," he took a deep breath, scrubbing a hand over his face once again, but I saw a smile stretch across his face as his eyes locked with mine. "You make her happy, Edward. Always have. And I'd be proud to have you as my son-in-law."_

_I was stunned. I don't believe I had ever been more speechless in my life and swallowed hard to dislodge the lump in my throat. I stood and crossed the room. If I didn't think he would have knocked the hell out of me, I would've kissed him. _

"_Thank you, Charlie," I said and shook his hand instead, a smile permanently etched on my face. _

"_Just take care of my little girl, Edward. That's all I ask," he said as he shook my hand and clapped me on my shoulder. "She deserves to be happy."_

"_Yes, sir, she does, and I swear to you I'll do my best to make sure that happens."_

"_I know you will, Edward," he said with complete conviction. "Now, let's go see how much money I'm losing to that son of mine this time."_

I smiled to myself as I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel to dry off, I had no words for the relief I felt knowing that everything was falling into place for Bella to become my wife.

I dressed quickly in a worn pair of jeans and a long sleeve black T-shirt before I joined Bella in the kitchen. I was greeted by the delicious smell of bacon, coffee, and something sweet, as well as the even more appetizing sight of the love of my life standing at the stove.

"Hey, darlin'," I said as I wrapped my arms around her waist and nuzzled my nose into her hair.

She sighed and leaned back into me, placing a hand over mine as she flipped the French toast on the griddle.

"Are you hungry?" she asked, turning her head to kiss my cheek.

"Mmhm," I hummed as I pushed the hair from her neck and kissed my way down to her shoulder.

Sliding my hands around to settle on her hips, I pulled her back into me.

She giggled, "Um…that wasn't exactly what I was talking about."

I chuckled and kissed her shoulder once more before I released her and stepped away to pour myself a cup of coffee.

"So, where to first?" I asked, taking a sip of my coffee.

Bella smiled at me over her shoulder and an overwhelming sensation of rightness ran up my spine and settled somewhere around my heart.

~*~

The weeks following Thanksgiving seemed to blur from one day to the next. Before I could take a breath, Christmas Eve had arrived. The night would be spent schmoozing with the social set at the charity ball. I couldn't say I was looking forward to that part of the evening.

"Edward," Bella called from the family room.

"Yeah, baby," I said, absently flipping through the mail as I stood at the kitchen counter.

I looked up and smiled as Bella entered the room, still in her pajamas, coffee cup in hand and hair piled on top of her head.

For a woman who was usually up and on horseback before the sun rose most mornings, she was taking full advantage of a couple extra days off before Christmas.

"Did you pick up your suit from the cleaners?" she asked as she poured another cup of coffee.

Bella had backed off the intensity of her training sessions, at least until after the holidays and we returned from our trip. The only problem being that when we returned from finals, she picked up the bulk of the business responsibilities while Emmett and Rosalie adjusted to having a newborn with a toddler under foot.

I tried to pitch in where I could and take some of the pressure off, but it was still difficult to keep up for both of us.

"Um hmm," I replied as I continued sorting through the stack of junk mail.

My eyes widened as the credit card statement stared back at me and I shot a look over my shoulder to see Bella leaning against the counter as she sipped her coffee.

"Anything interesting?" I heard her mumble over the top of her cup.

"Um…nope," I said, quickly placing the envelope at the bottom of the stack I would take to the office.

Crossing to where Bella stood, I removed the cup from her hands, setting it behind her on the counter.

I leaned in, trapping her between my arms by placing both of my hands on either side of her hips. Bella placed her hands on my chest as I ran my nose along her jaw, taking a deep breath of her lovely scent.

"Hmm….so what time do we have to be at Emmett's, baby," I murmured, placing a kiss between her ear and her jaw.

"Um….I really need to…..be there by five," she whispered as she rolled her head to allow me more access to her neck and she ran her hands over my shoulders, wrapping her arms around my neck.

I grazed my lips down her neck, snaking my tongue out between kisses to taste her skin.

"So, we have a few hours before we have to be anywhere," I said, leaning further into Bella's body.

"Umhmm," she sighed as her hands ran up over my upper back before she threaded her fingers into my hair.

Smiling against her skin, I bent to grasp her thighs, lifting her from the floor. Bella wrapped her legs around my waist and crashed her lips to mine.

I brushed my tongue along her bottom lip and moaned into her mouth as she opened to me. My tongue slipped past her lips, tasting coffee and creamer and just….Bella.

Spinning around, I made my way toward our room. Pushing Bella's tank over her torso with one hand, I held her to me as she leaned back slightly as we entered our room. Crossing her arms over her body, she ripped the thin material over her head as a wicked smile graced her beautiful face.

I kicked the door shut behind me and crossed the room as fast as humanly possible.

Falling to the bed with a giggling Bella still wrapped around me, she tugged my shirt out of my jeans and I pulled the shirt over my head, quickly throwing it into the room.

"These need to go, now," Bella growled in my ear as she unbuckled my belt and popped the buttons on my fly.

Standing from the bed, I toed off my boots, pushing my pants down my legs and smirking as I saw Bella shedding her pajama bottoms.

I stepped out of my pants, kicking them to the side as I climbed back onto the bed. Bella grinned up at me as I crawled up her body.

"Now, Miss Swan, where were we?" I asked, my voice rough with my need to completely consume the woman below me.

Bella wrapped her arms around my neck as I settled between her thighs.

A growl rolled deep in my chest as my tip brushed against her entrance, feeling how ready she was for me.

"I think….we were right here," she whispered as she moved her hips against me and I slipped slightly inside her with the movement.

I murmured her name against her skin as I shifted and entered her fully. A whimper slipped from both our lips and I covered her mouth with mine as I began moving inside her.

There was no feeling on the face of the Earth better than making love with Bella.

The sounds she made as we moved together were driving me insane and pushed me quickly toward my release as the electricity shot up my spine.

I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold on much longer as I felt my orgasm overtaking my body.

"You feel so good, baby….I need you so much, Bella," I said, and brought a hand to glide over her clit.

I circled the swollen flesh, needing her to find her release - _now_.

The coil in the pit of my stomach was at the point of explosion as I crashed my lips to hers once again.

Bella's body clenched around me. She threw her head back as her orgasm found her and she fell over the edge.

I followed, spilling into her with a guttural groan, and fell to Bella's side, completely spent as my arms gave out.

Bella giggled, kissing my head as I nuzzled her breast with my nose. She wrapped one arm around my shoulders while she ran her fingers through my hair. I drifted off to sleep with my arms wrapped around Bella's body and a smile upon my face.

~*~

I was in hell.

Plain and simple, there was no other explanation for the misery I had endured over the last hour, having been stuck in the most inane conversation with Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Whatley, III.

I really did not give a shit about the places they visited on their last around the world vacation. They were the most pretentious couple I had ever encountered, but they had made a huge donation earlier in the evening, so I was still listening to Mrs. Whatley drone on and on about visiting some village in Timbuktu or wherever the hell it was. I certainly didn't remember.

So far, the charity ball seemed to be going according to plan. The dinner service was amazing, and from the preliminary numbers Bella whispered to me earlier, the auction was a rousing success.

I sipped my champagne and finally spotted an escape from the Whatley's as Bella entered the room once again. Bella rose on tiptoe, seeming to search the room.

I politely excused myself from the Whatley's and my heart stuttered as I crossed to where Bella stood just off the dance floor.

She was truly a vision. The flowing green silk of her dress draped over her incredible body and simply took my breath away.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" I asked as I pressed my lips to the shell of her ear and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her into my side.

Bella snickered quietly, "Not in the last couple of hours, no."

She turned to me and ran her hands up my chest, smoothing the lines of my lapels. Moving over my shoulders, she laced her fingers behind my neck.

Sliding my arm around her back, I held her close to my body. Twisting slightly, I set my glass down on the nearest table and stepped onto the dance floor, pulling Bella with me.

The band had begun playing a cover of one of my favorite songs, and I couldn't resist the urge to hold Bella in my arms for another second as we began a slow sway around the floor.

"Did you have a good time tonight?" she asked, resting her cheek on my chest.

"I did, baby. You did an amazing job pulling this off," I whispered, leaning my cheek against the top of her head.

"Thank you. Seth was looking for you a little bit ago. I think he wanted to say goodbye before he and Angela left."

"Yeah, I talked to him for a little bit. Maybe we can visit them sometime when we're out that way if you want."

Seth and Angela had arrived a few days ago to spend Christmas with his family and finalize some papers for the sale of his house. It was bittersweet for Bella. She was happy that Seth found someone who adored him so fully, but sad that her friend was moving so far away.

"Mmhmm," she mumbled.

I smiled at the sound of her sleepy reply. Bella had worked so hard to make this night a success. I couldn't even describe how proud of her I was for what she accomplished.

"Can we blow this pop stand? Or is your presence still required, milady," I teased, pressing a kiss to her hair.

Bella laughed lightly and kissed my chin before pulling back to smile up at me.

~*~

I lay in bed, holding a sleeping Bella for hours after we arrived home from the party. My mind raced through a thousand different thoughts and I just couldn't shut it down enough for sleep to find me. We were exchanging gifts with the families at different times throughout Christmas Day, but Bella and I had the entire morning for just us.

Running a single finger over Bella's spine as she lay naked across my chest, I thought about what the next few days would mean for us.

I had taken all the steps toward the proposal that I hoped would be everything she could want. Still, there was a little part of my heart that feared she wouldn't be happy with the plans I made, that it might not be what she wanted.

Even though we had talked about it many times over the last several months and I had made what my intentions were very clear, there was still the chance she could change her mind. My world would shatter, but I knew I would stay even if she decided she didn't want to be my wife.

I would stay because there was nowhere else I wanted to be. I couldn't be away from her ever again, and I would take a life with her in any way I could get it, whatever that meant.

I turned to check the time and groaned. It was five a.m. and I had not closed my eyes for more than ten minutes all night.

Bella rolled to her back, giving me the perfect opportunity to slip out of bed without waking her. I froze for a second as she mumbled something incoherent before saying my name and a smile pulled at her lips.

I bent to gently press a kiss to her forehead and made my way to the bathroom. I jumped in to take a quick shower, hoping the warm water would calm the anxiety coursing through my body.

Stepping back into the bedroom, I grabbed a pair of boxers and pajama pants, slipped on a t-shirt, and padded toward the kitchen to start some breakfast and coffee.

An hour later I was standing in front of our tree, cup of coffee in hand, smiling as I remembered the argument Bella and I had over the type of tree we would have for our first Christmas.

Bella wanted a live tree and I was dead set against it since we would be leaving the day after Christmas.

Of course Bella won the argument and we spent three hours at the tree farm looking for the 'perfect' one, and another two hours purchasing new ornaments and lights. I had to admit it was pretty close to perfection.

Setting my cup down, I pulled the box from my pocket and opened it, removing the contents.

The soft glow of the lights cast shadows throughout the room and rainbows reflected off Bella's ring as I held it between my finger and thumb.

I had picked the ring up the week before and was totally blown away with the way it looked now versus when I left it with the jeweler. The repairs he made only enhanced the beauty of what once graced my mother's finger, and I couldn't wait for it to be on Bella's hand.

Placing the ring back in the velvet box, I slipped it in my pocket. The emotions burning through my system were a bit overwhelming, so I took a deep calming breath.

I jumped slightly as Bella snaked her arms around my waist.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you," she whispered. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart," I said, smiling as she pressed a kiss between my shoulders.

I folded my hands over hers across my abdomen. We stood like that for a long moment, with Bella's arms around my middle and her nose pressing into my back.

"Are you okay? I woke up and you were gone."

"Yeah, baby, I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep. I think I was too excited to start Christmas," I said, turning to wrap my arms around her waist and pressing my lips to hers.

Bella smiled against my lips and placed both her hands on my face.

"I love you, so much," she said.

"Hmm…I don't think I will ever get tired of hearing that," I said and kissed her once more. "Love you, too." I pressed my forehead to hers and closed my eyes, smiling. "So, you ready for your gift?" I asked.

"I guess," she said, her lips brushed against mine softly.

"Yeah?" I said, coming out more as a question than as I heard a bit of hesitance in her voice.

I pulled back to see her chewing the corner of her mouth. I quirked an eyebrow at her and she smiled. Taking a deep breath, she nodded her head.

"Okay," I said, pulling away to clap my hands and rub them together, suddenly excited for Bella's reactions to her gifts. "Have a seat and I'll get them."

"Them?" she squeaked.

I chuckled and gestured toward the sofa before turning to grab the boxes I had hidden behind the tree earlier.

I crossed the room to where Bella sat waiting with wide eyes as she saw the boxes I carried toward her.

"Oh my God, Edward, what did you do?"

"What?" I asked, peeking over the top box and smiling.

"That! What on Earth….good lord," she grumbled under her breath as I placed her gifts at her feet and sat on the floor beside them.

"Okay, so here's the deal," I started, capturing her hand in mine and waiting until she was looking at me and not the boxes. "Remember I told you that you didn't have to worry about packing for our trip, right?"

She nodded and furrowed her brow. I could see her mind working at top speed to figure out what was inside each gift.

"Good. So each of these," I gestured with my head toward the stack beside me, "will give you a little hint as to where we're going on our trip, and they're things you'll use while we're gone, okay?"

"Okay," she said, her voice barely audible, but a smile had started to play at her lips.

I took the first box and handed it to her. Bella gently removed the paper and opened the box.

"Oh Edward, it's beautiful," she sighed as she picked up the tiny snow flake charm and quirked an eyebrow.

"Okay, so maybe not _all_ the gifts are things you'll need for the trip."

Bella laughed and kissed my cheek as she picked up the next box.

"Hmm…. I need gloves for wherever it is we're going?"

I nodded and smiled, handing her the next one. The process continued until she had opened each of the smaller boxes, revealing a new fleece hoodie, silk thermal underwear, and wool socks. The rest of the new clothing I bought for our trip had already been packed into her suitcases, although that little fact was still unknown to Bella.

"Oh my God, Edward," she said as she removed the top from the final box.

Bella pulled the white down jacket and matching ski pants out, and a smile lit up her face.

"Keep looking," I said, and her smile grew wider before she dug through the tissue to the bottom, locating a pair ski boots.

"We're going skiing?" she asked, slightly breathless.

I nodded and she launched herself off the sofa toward me. I fell back laughing as I wrapped my arms around her and she crashed her lips into mine.

"I take it you like the idea of going skiing," I said against her mouth as we continued to kiss, lying in the discarded paper from Bella's gifts.

"I love it, Edward," she breathed as she pulled back, breaking our kiss to look into my eyes. "Thank you. Thank you for everything."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. I love you," I said, reaching up to brush the hair away from her face and kiss the tip of her nose.

"I love you, too. So where are we going? Snowmass? Breckenridge? Oh! Jackson Hole? I've always loved Wyoming," she said excitedly as she sat up.

I shook my head and gestured toward the fireplace mantle. "Why don't you check your stocking?"

Bella smiled when she saw the thin box tucked into her stocking and jumped up, practically running across the room.

Plopping down next to me on the floor, box in hand, she smiled and began gently removing the paper before she abruptly stopped.

"What?" I asked, confused by the contemplative look on her face.

"I'm just….," she trailed off and chewed on her lip before continuing. "Edward, all of this is just….it's overwhelming, and I love you so much. I just-"

I sat up quickly and cut off her rambling with a kiss. She sighed, leaning further into me, and I felt her smile against my lips.

"Bella," I murmured. "I love you, too."

I pulled back slightly and looked into her eyes, "But just open the damn box, please."

Bella looked stunned for a moment and then laughed, smacking me in the chest and pushing me away.

I laughed and leaned back against the sofa. Bending one leg, I draped my arm over my knee with the other arm across the cushions of the sofa.

Bella took a deep breath, removed the box top, and fingered the papers inside for a moment before pulling them out staring at them open mouthed.

"Edward," she breathed and looked up to meet my eyes. "We're…..we're going to Italy?"

I nodded, smiling. "Is that okay?"

"Are you kidding me? Holy God…..Edward, I….I don't even know what to say."

"Well, we're flying into Venice and will be spending a few days in Cortina d'Ampezza for skiing. Then we're going down to Florence for the rest of our time there. I hope that's okay…..I know that we're kind of going on the trip my parents gave me for my birthday, but I pretty much changed all the arrangements. I knew that this would probably be our only chance to take a trip like this, because once the foaling season begins-"

"Edward, stop," Bella said, her voice stern as she cut off my rant. "I love this. I can't believe that you went to all this trouble. It's absolutely perfect."

I released a relieved breath. I had worried that it would seem like less than what I intended because it was technically a gift from my parents, although I had completely changed the arrangements my parents made.

Bella crawled over the discarded paper toward me and settled into my lap, placing her arms over my shoulders.

I caressed her legs from knee to hip and looked into her deep brown eyes.

"Edward Cullen, you are the most amazing man I have ever known, and there is nothing that you could have given me I wouldn't love, simply because it was from you," she said and pressed a kiss to my forehead, then to the bridge of my nose before her mouth found mine again.

She sucked my bottom lip into her mouth and I moaned as her teeth grazed the flesh before she pushed her tongue past my lips, exploring gently, tentatively, as if it was the very first time we ever kissed.

The ring in my pocket began burning my skin as the box pressed into my leg and I had the urge to just do it now. To hell with grand gestures and proposing in one of the most romantic places in the world. Here and now was what was important. I pulled back, breaking our kiss.

"Bella, I-" I was cut off as the phone rang.

Bella pecked my lips once more and was out of my grasp and answering the phone before I could get another word out of my mouth.

I groaned in frustration and buried my hands in my hair, squeezing my eyes shut.

I looked up as Bella came back and sat down on the sofa, running her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck.

"You okay?" she asked, a concerned look on her face.

I cleared my throat and composed my face into a convincing smile. "Yeah, baby, I'm fine. Who was on the phone?"

"Oh, it was Alice. She figured we were up by now and that you couldn't wait to open gifts. So, of course she couldn't wait to find out what I thought of my gifts." Bella rolled her eyes and snickered.

I snorted and shook my head. I should have known it would be my nosey little sister that put the hiatus on my impromptu proposal. I swear, the woman really was psychic.

"So," Bella said, a hint of hesitation in her voice. "Do you want to open your gifts now?"

"Absolutely," I said, smiling and clapping my hands together.

Bella laughed and jumped up off the sofa, making her way back down the hall.

I heard her rummaging around in our room. A few muffled curses later, she reentered the room carrying two of the biggest packages I had ever seen.

I got up and met her half way across the room to take them from her.

I sat down in my chair and placed the gifts on the ottoman. I looked up to see Bella standing over me, chewing the corner of her mouth and twisting her hands together.

"Go on, open them," she said.

Looking down at the gifts, I took a deep breath and then ripped the paper away.

My breath caught in my throat and my heart stopped as I took in what was lying before me.

The ornate antique gold frame held my mother's words and notes, her music, forever sealed behind the glass.

"Bella," I said, my voice cracked on just that one word, and I felt as though I was choking on the lump in my throat.

"I…is this….where did you find this?" I asked as I reached out to run a finger over the smooth surface.

"Esme," she said simply.

I could hear the thickness of her voice and knew she was holding back tears as I fought the wave of emotions crashing over me.

"She was pretty sure this was the song that your mother was working on before…," she trailed off and I heard her sniffle quietly.

I would recognize the scroll of my mother's handwriting anywhere, even after all these years, and I ran my finger over them once more.

Esme was right. It was the last song my mother composed before her death, the song I had played for Bella in Dallas.

From what I could remember, my mother was writing it for my father's birthday, which was a few weeks after they were to return from their ill fated trip.

I felt a tear fall from the corner of my eye. Bella brushed her thumb across my cheek, wiping it away, and I leaned into her touch.

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her and burying my face in the crook of her neck as the emotions became too much.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." I was completely overwhelmed.

Having a small piece of my mother, to touch something so precious to her, it was more than I could handle at the moment, and I wasn't ashamed of the tears I cried. No matter the number of years that passed since my parents' death, I missed them terribly.

Bella knew how much I would cherish such a gift and how it would affect me, so she held me tightly and allowed me deal with my emotions.

We sat like that for a long time as Bella soothed me. Eventually, I calmed and opened the other package, which held the second page of my mother's song.

Bella explained she had taken the sheet music to the framers and picked them up the day Abbey was born. She laughed lightly when she told me how nervous she had been leaving the papers in his care.

She suggested we hang them over the piano in the music room and I couldn't have agreed more, it was the perfect place for them.

I wrapped an arm around Bella's shoulders as we stood back and admired the beauty of the frames and the irreplaceable gift they held after we hung them on the wall.

"I love you. Thank you so much," I whispered into her hair and pressed a kiss to her temple.

* * *

**So there it is...I hope you enjoyed their Christmas together and the gifts for each other. They're off to Italy in the next chapter and as sad as I am to say that the end is near...I know I said that before but really it's true this time. I told you I would warn you when the last few chapters were on their way and that time has come. There are only about three chapters left plus the epilogue. I can't tell you how incredible this journey has been and how much I have truly enjoyed the process. Thank you all for being so supportive and kind with your words of love for my first attempt at writing anything I allowed someone else to read. **

**I am working on a new storyline but it won't start posting until MMB completes but I will post a summary for the new story with the next chapter. I hope you will check it out when it begins in a few weeks.  
**

**Hugs to you all!!!**

**xoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1  
**


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Thank you as always to my super-duper-beta Jessica1971 for working her magic once again. ****She is my own personal Jedi Master. **

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, no copyright infringement is intended. The plot and storyline herein is sole property of the author.**

* * *

Chapter 34

BPOV

"I really hate to fly," Edward moaned from the seat next to me, his lips pressed into a hard line.

I had worried that the unexpected layover would be hard for him, that it would provide him too much time to think. A small shiver ran down my spine at the thought of the things that could go wrong when Edward was given too much time to over think a given situation. Our history together was proof enough of the extreme actions he was capable of given the right scenario, and this was one of those type situations.

The longer we waited in the terminal, the more anxious Edward seemed to grow, and now that we were actually waiting for takeoff he was almost in a complete panic.

Unfortunately, there was little that could be done about our flight being delayed. It seemed there had been a flash snow storm in New York, which held up the plane we were scheduled to take out of Atlanta.

"I really, really hate to fly," he muttered under his breath and ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

My brow furrowed at the familiar gesture. I understood his fear of flying after losing his parents the way he had, but I had never seen him like this. Honestly, it frightened me.

"Edward, honey, are you okay?" I said, turning in my seat and leaning toward him slightly so I could get a better look at his face.

My eyes widened at what I saw. There were beads of sweat covering his forehead and upper lip, and he looked almost green. I reached out to brush the hair away from his forehead and cupped his cheek in my palm.

"You're not always like this when you fly, are you?" I asked.

"No, not always," he said through gritted teeth, his eyes squeezed tightly closed, his knuckles white as he gripped the armrest.

He suddenly leaned forward in his seat, running both hands through his hair over and over.

"Edward," I said, placing a hand on his back. I could feel the sweat seeping through the fabric of his black t-shirt into my palm.

"Sweetie, what's different about this trip than when you've flown before?" I whispered, pressing my lips to his shoulder as I rubbed circles over his back.

He turned to look at me over his shoulder and the fear in his eyes took my breath away.

"Baby," he said, his voice rough as he teetered on the edge of a full blown panic attack. "I've only flown while _you_ were with me one other time, and that was a short couple of hour flight from Las Vegas home."

I nodded my head while he looked at me, as if that explained why his anxiety was so high now versus that trip. As he spoke, it slowly began to dawn on me what was different about this trip from leaving Las Vegas or even San Antonio earlier.

"Bella, my parents were traveling overseas when they..." he trailed off, squeezing his eyes closed and taking a deep breath before continuing. "I can't…if something were to happen…."

"Edward Anthony, look at me," I said, taking his face between my palms. "Nothing is going to happen, do you hear me?"

I raised my eyebrows and looked directly into his eyes to ensure he understood what I was saying, that he was listening.

He needed to be reassured we were safe – more that _I_ was safe – and that nothing was going to happen. If I couldn't reassure him and he continued on this tangent, he was literally going to have a nervous breakdown before we got off the ground.

I leaned toward him and pressed my lips to his forehead, both of his eyelids, then both cheeks. Edward sighed as I finally reached his lips. As I pulled away, he cupped my cheek in his hand. As he looked into my eyes, I could see the panic begin to fade.

"Okay," he whispered, releasing a heavy breath.

Edward took my hand to thread our fingers together, pressed his lips to my wrist, and settled back in his seat, taking a deep cleansing breath as the pilot announced we had finally received clearance for take-off.

The rest of the flight was uneventful, and as we touched down at Marco Polo Airport in Venice, Italy, Edward turned to me with my favorite crooked grin planted firmly on his face.

"I love you," he murmured as he brought his lips to mine.

I was completely in awe as we exited the airport and the Italian sun hit my face. We made our way to the black SUV Edward rented. As he settled behind the wheel, Edward informed me that we were going to do a little sight-seeing in Venice before we made the two hour trek north to Cortina D'Ampezza.

"Are you serious?" I asked, a smile spreading over my face as I realized he was indeed completely serious.

Edward only nodded as he took my hand in his and wound his way through the streets of Venice to a car park just inside the city. From there we walked through the city my breath caught in my throat as we approached the Grand Canal which ran through the center of the city.

Though we had seen and experienced the replication of such an amazing sight in Las Vegas, there was no comparison, no preparation for the real thing.

"Oh my God, Edward," I breathed and felt his fingers tighten around mine.

"I know, it's unreal," he agreed in much the same tone of wonder as he looked out over the water.

As we entered Saint Marks square, the Basillica San Marco dominated the entire south side of the piazza with its high stone walls and rounded domes. The beautiful texture of carved archways curved their way over the each window and doorway.

I craned my neck to take in the detail over the entryway as we made our way inside. The detail given to the carvings was incredible; the sheer time it would have taken the artisan's to create such works was, just to think of it, exhausting.

Edward quietly admired every nook and cranny of the artwork. It brought a smile to my face to see him so thoroughly enjoying himself and knowing that he was just as taken with the city's beauty as I was.

Once finished with the tour of the Basillica, we made our way to the Campanile. The bell tower stood guard over the city at the end of the piazza.

Stepping off the elevator, we followed several other tourists out to the viewing area at the top of the tower. The panoramic views that could be seen of the city were breathtaking. Ships in port were easily visible just outside the city while gondola's carrying couples and groups of tourists to various locations floated along the canals.

I took more pictures in the short time we were in the Campanile than I thought humanly possible.

"You ready for some lunch?" Edward asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

I leaned into his side and sighed contentedly. Though the jet-lag was starting to set in a little, I felt the excitement of just being in such a fascinating place bubbling in my chest.

Once back on the ground, we made our way through the open area and out of the piazza.

"Where are we going?" I asked as we walked through the city streets.

I figured Edward knew where he was going as he seemed to be heading in a particular direction with a purpose.

"Well, Demetri is Italian and his grandmother was from the 'Old Country' –Venice, to be exact-," he smiled down at me as he slid his hand from the small of my back to take my hand. "I talked with him a few days before Christmas and he reminded me about this restaurant we had to try before we left the city."

Edward explained as we passed through the open air market that this area of Venice had once been the red light district. He laughed, retelling how he had teased Demetri as to why his grandmother would recommend a restaurant housed in what was once a brothel.

But as we walked along the narrow street, it was obvious that the areas sordid past, even though it was not forgotten, was certainly no longer a part of its current chic atmosphere.

Demetri, per Edward, had explained that this particular restaurant served only prime examples of traditional Venetian foods because of its close proximity to the fresh market. It was hard to hide my excitement as we continued toward the area where we would find the restaurant. I could see that Edward was growing more excited the closer we got as well.

As we neared the Rialto Bridge, Edward stopped, turning to smile at me before gesturing to a small doorway surrounded by glass to our right.

The word _Ostaria_ was painted in large red-orange letters over as well as to the right of the heavy wooden door.

"Here it is," he said, smiling and releasing my hand only to place his hand at the small of my back, guiding me toward the door.

Wonderful smells of basil, oregano and garlic assaulted my senses as we entered the tiny restaurant. I could almost taste the delicacies from just the scents wafting throughout the room.

The black and white checker board tiles on the floor and deep rich red painted wainscoting walls glistened in the soft light inside the small dining area. There was a very intimate, homelike feel to the room.

There weren't a great number of tables and I was grateful we seemed to have arrived during a slower time of day as I could imagine it was hard to get a table at peak hours.

A young woman met us just inside the door with a warm welcoming smile and greeting before she led us to one of the small tables toward the back of the restaurant.

We took her recommendation of the house Chardonnay and she promptly turned, leaving us alone to peruse the menu. I laid mine aside and folded my hands on top of it, releasing a contented breath.

"You okay?" Edward asked, looking over the top of the menu and meeting my gaze.

I smiled and nodded, a bit overwhelmed by my surroundings. The city, the restaurant, even the smells were like nothing I ever experienced. It wasn't as if I hadn't traveled a little, but nothing to compare to what I had encountered in the few short hours since our arrival.

"Yeah, I'm great. I think I'm just a little overwhelmed that we're actually in Italy," I said.

"It is a little….unreal, huh?" Edward smiled as he reached across the table, taking my hand in his.

He looked at our entwined fingers as he ran a thumb over the knuckles of my left hand. If I didn't know better, I would swear he seemed to linger over my third finger longer than the rest. When I looked up to meet his eyes, there was something burning there that I wasn't quite sure how to explain. He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped as the moment was lost when the young waitress returned with our wine.

Edward ordered our lunch and the waitress left us alone once again. Whatever had been on his mind before the waitress returned seemed to have disappeared as we fell into a conversation about what awaited us in Cortina.

I was surprised to find out, now that Edward decided he would give me more details about our trip, that we could attend a Polo match. The whole game of Polo intrigued me. I didn't understand it completely; the skill of not only the player but of their horses was beyond phenomenal.

It fascinated me to learn the matches were played on the frozen surface of a lake outside the city and that Cortina would be the host-city for the world cup of Polo early in the New Year.

As our meal was served, I could feel the jet-lag setting in more heavily across my shoulders and the wine began to lull me into a completely relaxed state. I wasn't sure I could stand and walk out of the restaurant, much less back to where we left the rental SUV.

"You're tired," Edward said, ghosting a finger over my cheek before pushing a stray strand of hair away from my face.

"A little," I smiled and leaned slightly into his touch. "Aren't you?"

I knew he had to be feeling the effects of such a long flight, the time change, and the amount of walking we had done since landing, but his eyes were as bright as they were when we first stepped out of the airport.

"Eh….a bit, but just seeing you here, _being_ here….I guess I'm running on adrenaline," he said, shrugging as he lifted his glass to his lips.

The _Cicetti _we enjoyed over lunch were quite possibly the best food I have ever put in my mouth. There were just no words for the flavors and the combinations of seafood with the fresh vegetables and herbs. It was simply remarkable that food could taste such a way.

Edward settled the bill and we made our way back through the city towards the car.

Holding the door open for me, Edward leaned in to place a gentle kiss to my lips once I was settled in my seat. I reached up, fisting my fingers in the fabric of his jacket and held him to me when I felt him begin to pull away.

"Thank you," I whispered and felt his lips curve into a smile against mine.

"For what, baby?" he asked.

"For this trip, for being you. I love you."

Edward rested his forehead against mine, curling one hand around my neck and skimming his thumb over my jaw.

"I love you, too, sweetheart."

He slowly pulled away, kissing the tip of my nose before my favorite crooked smile pulled at his lips and he closed my door.

"Ready?" he asked, settling behind the wheel and starting the engine.

"Yep," I said, smiling and slipping my shoes off to get more comfortable for the two hour drive ahead.

Edward maneuvered through the traffic along the narrow streets and we made our way out of the city. I had no way of describing the beauty of the countryside as it sped past. The rolling green hills, even now in the dead of winter, stood in stark contrast to the blue of the sky as they kissed on the horizon.

It was simply breathtaking. A smile broke across my face as I turned to see Edward watching me more than he was watching the road.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," a wide smile pulled at his lips. "You're just adorable. I don't tell you that enough."

I shook my head and placed my palm on his hand as it rested on the gearshift, threading our fingers together. "I think you're biased."

He shrugged, "Maybe, but it's still true."

I shifted in my seat to lean toward him, kissing the area just below his ear. I smiled, enjoying the feeling of the rough stubble along his jaw against my lips.

Edward tightened his grasp on my fingers and pressed his lips to my forehead as I rested my head on his shoulder. The fatigue I had felt coming on earlier began to make it increasingly hard to keep my eyes open and I felt myself drift off as I watched the landscape outside begin to change.

When I woke sometime later, the majestic Dolomite Alps loomed high above us as we wound our way along the road toward our final destination.

Roads which were once clear had now become snow covered and Edward was more focused on the road ahead.

"You have a nice nap?" Edward asked, chuckling as he turned to wipe a small bit of dribble from the corner of my mouth with his thumb.

"Huh, well that's not embarrassing," I laughed, wiping at my mouth with the back of my hand and looking down at his shirt, hoping that I didn't drool on him.

Edward shook his head, laughing.

My breath caught in my throat from the feeling of stepping back in time as we entered the city. The traditional Ampezzano styled buildings looked like they were lifted straight off a postcard and planted in the middle of the city. It actually felt like we had stepped into a scene from _The Sound of Music. _I expected to see Julie Andrews step out onto one of the wooden balconies any moment singing about how the hills were alive.

The majesty of the landscape surrounding the city of Cortina was astonishing.

The Hotel Ancora, where we would be staying, was situated in the heart of Cortina, overlooking the shops, restaurants, and bars which encompassed the center of the city. The white washed smooth stone walls were lined with dark wooden balconies which led from the individual rooms. Edward had told me the hotel where we were staying was one of the oldest in the city and that he booked us in the Imperial suite.

We would be in Cortina through the New Year, and I was beyond excited to be welcoming a year already full of so much promise in one of the most magnificent places in the world.

Edward stopped the SUV just outside the car park provided for guests of the hotel and we were immediately greeted by a valet who took the keys while another young attendant unloaded our bags before escorting us inside.

I heard Edward chuckle as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "It's amazing isn't it?"

"Yeah," I breathed as we entered the hotel.

The soft white walls were accented with deep rich wood grains and a large red rug covered the pale ceramic tile of the floor in the expansive lobby.

Edward and I crossed to the reception desk.

"Benvenuto all'Albergo Ancora, come posso aiutarLa?" A beautiful woman with long flowing black hair greeted us as we approached, smiling brightly.

"Grazie. Noi abbiamo prenotazioni per la stanza imperiale. Cullen," Edward said in perfect Italian, returning the woman's warm smile.

I shook my head as her eyes glazed over slightly before snapping out of the daze that seemed to overtake her and returning to her composed, professional demeanor to complete our registration.

"Chiaramente. Mi permetta di solo guardare a quella prenotazione, signore." She began typing away at the computer before her, though the smile never left her face.

I leaned in to place a kiss on Edward's cheek before stepping away from his side to admire the architecture of the room and an interesting clock hugging the wall. I was intrigued with its intricately carved patterns and deep patina.

A delicately carved Nativity sitting on a nearby table caught my eye and I crossed to take a closer look.

The dainty wooden pieces were amazing in their detail. Pale pastels colored the soft wood and made them seem almost alive. How someone could create such expressive eyes in such a small canvas was beyond my comprehension.

"È pronto vedere la nostra stanza il mio amore?" Edward whispered as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed a kiss just below my ear.

I had no idea what he just said but nodded anyway, willing to do whatever he wanted as long as he continued to speak to me in Italian.

"You have no clue what I just said, do you?" he chuckled.

"Nope, but I'll do whatever you want as long as you keep speaking to me in Italian," I said, turning in his arms and sliding my hands over his chest to wrap around his neck.

"Hmmm, whatever I want, eh?" he asked, a devilish grin gracing his face.

"Mmmhmm," I nodded, smiling.

"Che è una promessa molto pericolosa il mio caro, Isabella," he murmured as he bent to brush his lips with mine.

"Io voglio fare amore con Lei e Lei ha gridare il mio nome da ogni superficie fra come noi guardiamo il sole sorgere sulle montagne," he said, whispering against my lips.

I moaned softly as I leaned further into him and he tightened his arms around my waist.

A deep chuckle rose from his chest as he pulled back slightly, breaking our kiss, "Maybe we should go to our room before we get too carried away, hmm?"

"If we must," I sighed, fighting the smile making my lips twitch.

I giggled as he growled at me playfully. He pecked my lips once more before he took my hand and led me toward the elevator, following the same young attendant who unloaded our bags earlier.

Edward gestured for me to lead the way into our room and I stepped into what had to be the most beautiful space on the face of the planet. I had thought the room we stayed in at the hotel in Las Vegas was opulent and beautiful; this was of a world and class all its own.

The arched doorways and deep honey colored floors, tempered with the creamy white and gold of the walls, set an ambiance of simple elegance and understated romance.

I think I touched every surface in the room while Edward and the attendant spoke. Crossing the suite to the double doors, I felt the breath leave my body as I opened the doors and took in the view of the Dolomite Mountains just outside our room. They looked close enough that I could reach out and touch them.

The snow covered every possible surface, appearing soft as a feather, delicate. Its stark pristine white was in complete contrast to the jagged mountain ridges as they pushed their way toward the robin's egg blue sky, their gray and blue-black shadows slicing through the softness.

I swept my gaze from the mountain range and over the street below. I was taken aback by the gorgeous clock tower sitting just past the hotel.

Depending on your view, the clock tower either ended or began the pedestrian walkway which separated the city into two halves. The wide walkway was lined on either side with hotels, shops and restaurants, all decorated in their Christmas finest.

So lost in thought, I startled when Edward folded his arms across my chest, closing his hands around my upper arms and pressing a kiss to my hair.

"It's incredibly beautiful, Edward," I said, my voice barely a whisper.

"I agree," he said simply.

I craned my neck to see him staring at me. Something told me he didn't mean the view, and I smiled before finding his mouth with mine for a gentle kiss.

Edward nuzzled the side of my head as I leaned back onto his shoulder wrapping my fingers over his forearms as he tightened his grasp. I turned back to look out over the fairytale world before us.

"Come on," Edward murmured. "You've got to check out the bathroom. Honest to God, there's a sauna in there."

I couldn't hold in the laugh that bubbled up at his wide eyed expression of excitement, and I followed him back through the doors.

A tiny gasp escaped me as we entered the bathroom and I quickly crossed to the glass doors, peeking inside. The space was just big enough for two. At least I think Edward could fit his long legs in there, but we were most definitely trying that puppy out, the sooner the better.

I turned around to face Edward and my eyes went wide as he was already shirtless and toeing off his boots.

"What are you waiting for?" he chuckled. "Let's try it out right now."

Blinking slowly, I shook my head to clear the fog of shock at turning to find Edward already half naked.

I watched as his mouth curved into that sexy crooked half smirk-half grin as he closed the space between us. "Would you like some help getting out of your clothes?"

I whimpered when his fingers brushed the skin of my abdomen as they dipped under the hem of my t-shirt and began pushing it up my torso.

Edward made quick work of removing the remainder of my clothing before he took my hand and led me into the sauna.

This was something you read about in a book; it couldn't be real and I felt like I needed to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't actually dreaming. We were really here, together, and the next ten days were going to be incredible.

~*~

"Wake up, sweetheart." Groaning, I snuggled down into my pillow.

I couldn't stop the smile pulling at the corner of my mouth as Edward's hand ran across my abdomen and he pulled me tightly into his body.

"Bella," he murmured, his warm breath washing over my skin caused me to shiver slightly.

I felt Edward's fingertips graze my shoulder as he pushed the hair away and pressed his lips to the curve of my neck.

"Si svegli la mia bellezza riposo," he whispered, taking the lobe of my ear between his teeth.

"Uh….you're doing it again," I said, my voice thick with sleep and the desire swirling in the pit of my stomach.

"And what would that be, my love," he chuckled, knowing full well what he was doing.

I rolled to my back and wound my arms around his neck before threading my fingers into his hair as he settled between my thighs.

"You're speaking Italian," I said, lifting my head just enough to press my lips to the hollow of his throat.

Edward nuzzled his face into my hair as he rested on bent elbows on either side of my body.

"So," I started, running my mouth along his jaw and feeling the stubble rough stubble on my skin. "What's on the agenda for today?"

A deep moan rolled in Edward's chest as I slowly traced the side of his neck to his ear with my tongue.

"Um….I…," he stammered as I slid my flattened palms over the muscles of his back, feeling them tremble slightly under my touch, dipping my fingers just below the waist of his sleep pants.

"What's wrong, sweetie? Hmmm…" I asked, deliberately making my voice lower as I skimmed my teeth over the lobe of his ear. "Cat got your tongue?"

Edward's body stiffened and his eyes shot open as he stared down at me for a long moment. I stifled the giggle that was fighting its way up my throat as Edward narrowed his eyes at me just before that cocky smirk I love broke out on his face.

"Oh, my little vixen, you shouldn't play with fire like that," he said.

"Is that so, Mr. Cullen?" I retorted, defiantly raising an eyebrow in challenge.

I watched the emerald of his eyes go almost black, and before I knew what was happening, Edward had my hands above my head, held in one hand at the wrists.

"You're going to regret your sass, young lady," he said.

Before I could register what he was going to do, Edward began tickling me relentlessly as I squealed and tried to free my hands from his iron grip.

"Edward!" I was immediately laughing so hard I could barely breathe.

"Edward, stop," I gasped between fits of guffaws. "Oh God, stop, I'm gonna pee. Ah….Edward, please."

"Please what?" He growled into my ear as he continued to pin me to the bed, his wonderful fingers buried into my side.

"Please, stop….I've really got to pee. I swear…..please," I begged, laughing as I continued to try and free myself but it was no use, he used his full body weight as leverage to keep me securely under him.

"Okay," he said, stopping his attack. "But only because you begged."

Edward kissed the tip of my nose and rolled to his back, releasing me from his trap. I immediately jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I could hear his chuckles following me as I closed the door, and though I wanted to smack him for almost making me pee myself, the sound of his laughter made me smile.

Two hours later we were dressed, full to the point of being sick from a most delicious breakfast, and ready for our first day of skiing.

"Edward," I said, a hint of trepidation in my voice as I stared at the mountain above and chewed on the corner of my lip. "Um…I'm not so sure I can do this. I've only gone skiing a couple of times…and, well, it wasn't exactly a stellar performance."

It wasn't as if I had never been on a pair of skis, but the last time was sophomore year of college when a group of us took a trip up to Jackson Hole for a week during winter break. Honestly, we did more drinking hot toddies and watching the guys show off on the slopes than actual skiing.

"Bella," he said, turning to look at me and I could see he was fighting the urge to laugh. "The hotel arranged for a couple of classes, so don't worry. We're supposed to meet the instructor on one of the smaller trail heads. It'll be fine."

Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we made our way toward the Ski bus that would take us to the ski lift, which would then carry us up the mountain to the slopes and the instructor. I sighed in relief when Edward said the concierge informed him the instructors spoke English, as this whole thing would be difficult enough without the language barrier.

Edward took my hand in his as we exited the ski lift at the top of the Tofano slope where we were to meet a group of other beginners. We made our way out of the lift area toward where a group of ten or so other students stood waiting for the instructor.

A very tall, very handsome, dark haired man approached us and I quickly realized that he would be giving the ski lessons for the day. I felt Edward tense behind me as he made the same realization.

"Welcome," the man greeted as he surveyed the group.

His eyes locked with mine and he smiled as he very obviously moved his gaze over my entire body before looking up to meet Edward's gaze over my shoulder.

A slow smile spread across his face; his eyes seemed to light up with what he seemed to interpret as a challenge from Edward.

"I am Emilio and I will be giving your instruction today. You are the Cullen's, no?" He asked, stepping closer to where Edward and I stood, reaching out to take my hand in his.

Slowly, he brought it to his lips, brushing them across my covered knuckles as he looked up through heavy, dark lashes to meet my wide eyed gaze. I could hear the delighted giggles of some of the younger female students and felt Edward's chest brush against my back as he took a deep breath.

"No," I said. "I mean….yes, but we're not…I mean…I'm Bella….and this is Edward," I stammered, gesturing with my free hand to where Edward stood pressed into my back.

I seemed to lose all brain function between the proximity of Edward behind me and this Emilio whose blue eyes burned into mine as he still held my hand. The smile that spread across his face showed perfect white teeth as he stood up straight.

"Yes, we're the Cullen's," Edward stated and slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me back into him.

Emilio's throaty chuckle was easily heard as he released my hand and met Edward's burning stare with equal parts challenge and amusement.

I rolled my eyes and turned my head to look up at Edward and bit back the groan as I took in the set of his jaw. I already knew by the possessive way he was holding me that he was a hair's breadth away from coming unglued.

_This is going to be interesting,_ I thought to myself and rolled my eyes once again.

Emilio had returned to the group, individually greeting each of the other students in his charge. I noted his eyes shifted to us once again, taking in how Edward stood just behind me, his hand flat against my abdomen, and I watched as a smile curved his full mouth.

I sighed heavily as I realized this situation could get _very _interesting before the day was finished.

"We are ready then, yes?" Emilio smirked, seeming to enjoy the tension in the air set off by the obvious claim Edward was staking.

I mean, honestly, Edward couldn't have made more of a statement if he was a dog marking his territory, and I heard Emilio mutter something in Italian under his breath, assuming we didn't speak the language. Edward tensed, but when I looked at him in question, he only shook his head.

Emilio led us a bit further away from the lift to an area with several gentle rolling hills and plenty of flat open spaces. He called the class to attention as Edward and I filed in behind the other students, listening as he began explaining the basics of safety while on the slopes.

Emilio made it clear the importance of wearing a helmet at all times while skiing as well as proper fitting clothing and gloves. Goggles were a must, he informed us, as the snow sometimes began falling suddenly, making vision difficult.

"Okay," Emilio said, clapping his hands together. "I need an assistant to demonstrate proper execution of the wedge. This is invaluable technique if you are to slow and stop yourself once you reach the slopes."

Every female in our group, apart from me, was chomping at the bit to help Emilio in his demonstration.

"Ah," he chuckled. "Bella, you will help me in demonstration, yes?"

"Uh…no, I-" Emilio cut me off before I could form a proper argument, closing the distance between where I stood and himself.

"Ah…mio bella ragazza," Emilio crooned, the look he shot Edward not escaping my notice. "Come, you will be a perfect assistant."

I looked over my shoulder at Edward as Emilio took my hand and led me in front of the other students. Edward stood where I left him with a dark look upon his face and I closed my eyes, hoping he wouldn't play into Emilio's game.

I knew he was flirting with me to get a reaction from Edward, which annoyed me to no end, but Emilio only smiled as he turned to the other students.

Emilio quickly began explaining what the wedge was and why it was needed for beginning skiers. I had to give him one thing, he was an excellent instructor and made sure to give the reasons for techniques or safety measures, not just dictate to us that we must use a certain technique. He had a way of giving the instruction without making you feel like a complete idiot for not being able to get the swing of a technique immediately.

"Your boyfriend, he is jealous, no?" Emilio whispered into my ear as he slid behind me to begin the demonstration for how to complete a proper wedge.

"He has no reason to be," I said, slightly uncomfortable with his proximity. Though Emilio was incredibly attractive, Edward had nothing to be concerned over.

"Perhaps not," he shrugged, adjusting the way I held my pole. "But I believe he has the good sense to be aware when another man finds it worth the effort to take away what he believes to be his. Do you not think?"

I blinked rapidly as his words bounced around inside my head.

"I can assure you he has nothing to be concerned about," I said, anger coloring my voice as I recovered my bearings and his implication that I was an object to be guarded and won as a prize became clear.

His eyes flickered over my shoulder toward where I knew Edward would be watching our interaction; he nodded, holding his hands out to his sides in acceptance as he backed away and called the class to attention once more.

In a move a little more ambitious than I probably should have attempted, I pushed off with both my poles to make my way back to where Edward stood.

"Hey there, handsome," I said, tilting my head and shooting him a sideways look.

Edward's lips twitched as he fought to keep the smile off his face.

"Hey," I stepped awkwardly closer to Edward and placed a hand on the center of his chest as he continued to stare over my head as Emilio ended class.

"Hey," I repeated and tapped his chest until he looked down to meet my gaze. "He's just a flirt, okay? Nothing more, he's got a job to do and I'm sure he flirts with all the women who he gives lessons to. You do realize that he's just messing with you more than anything, right?"

I was thankful that although I knew the proximity Emilio had held me in while I helped with the demonstrations set Edward's teeth on edge, he hadn't heard the words whispered to me during those moments. Though it was uncomfortable and annoying, it could have escalated to something much more than an annoyance if Edward were privy to the true extent of Emilio's flirting.

"Yes," Edward groaned. "But that was completely uncalled for….I…." he trailed off in frustration.

I smiled as I kissed his chin and he sighed heavily before returning my smile with a genuine one of his own.

"You're kind of cute when you're all frustrated like that," I snickered.

An amused growl rolled from Edward's chest as he wrapped me in a tight hug and kissed my cheek.

"So, you think you're up to some actual skiing?" Edward said, a hopeful look on his face.

I smiled and nodded, though the butterflies in my stomach were nearly enough to make me sick.

Three hours later, I had managed to make a few clean runs down the smaller slope and felt somewhat sure I wasn't making a complete fool of myself. By no means was I ready to follow Edward on the more difficult stuff, but I could hold my own and it was truly a lot of fun.

Deciding we had enough for one day, we headed back to the hotel.

"I'm exhausted," I groaned as I fell backward onto the bed, my arms out to either side.

We'd been back in our room for a little more than an hour, spending most of that time inside the sinfully delightful sauna in our bathroom before taking a shower. Unfortunately, the shower wasn't large enough to allow us to shower together.

"Awww," Edward teased as he crawled up the bed, covering my body with his. "Is my girl worn out?"

"Ummhmm," I murmured as I slid my hands over the contours of his bare chest, my eyes following the path my hands traveled.

"Hmmm," he hummed as he bent to press his lips to mine.

"So, would you like to just stay in tonight? Order something to be brought up," he skimmed his nose along my jaw as his warm breath fanned across my skin, causing gooseflesh to rise over my arms and chest. "I could start a fire and we could just relax."

"Mmmm, that sounds perfect," I sighed as I rolled my head to allow him better access and he kissed the place just behind my ear.

Edward ghosted a hand over my ribs, down to my hip, and then curled his fingers around my upper thigh.

"You keep that up, cowboy, and we're not going to be having dinner anytime soon," I murmured as I raised my head to press a kiss to his Adam's apple.

"And you think that is somehow a deterrent?" he asked and I could feel his lips curl in a smile when he swept his lips over my cheek.

I couldn't hold in the giggle that welled in my chest.

"Alright, sweet girl," Edward said, pecking my lips quickly before rolling off the bed and making his way toward the fireplace. "You order whatever you want and I'll figure out how to start the logs. How's that sound?"

"It sounds perfect," I smiled and stretched before sliding across the bed to call room service.

"You think you're so smart, don't you?" I asked, laughing as I waited for room service to answer as it took Edward all of thirty seconds to figure out the gas logs could be lit with the flip of a switch beside the fireplace.

"Milady wants a fire. I give you a fire," he said, bowing deeply at the waist.

"You're a goof, mister," I said, shaking my head and laughing loudly.

Edward winked as he straightened and made his way to the doors leading out onto the balcony.

Thankful that there were a few hotel employees who spoke both English and Italian, I quickly ordered our dinner.

I crossed the room to where Edward stood looking out on the incredible view of the mountains. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I pressed my cheek to his bare shoulder. The day had been perfect, even with the overly flirtatious and infuriating ski instructor, and I couldn't remember ever feeling happier.

"I love you," I mumbled, turning slightly to press a kiss to his back.

"I love you, too, baby," Edward covered my hands with his large ones where they rested across his abdomen before releasing a contented sigh.

We were still standing in the same position when our dinner arrived a short time later.

"Holy god, woman, were you hungry?" Edward laughed, taking in all the dishes on the small cart once he closed the door behind the bellhop.

I shot him a sheepish grin as I removed a silver cover to find the fried calamari and my eyes went wide at the sheer amount on the plate.

"Okay….so maybe I got a little carried away?"

Edward laughed and pressed a kiss to the top of my head as he passed by on his way to the kitchen in search of a corkscrew to open the bottle of red wine.

An hour later, I sat back in my chair and sighed heavily.

"This is really nice," I said, taking a sip from my glass.

Our dinner had been simple, but amazing, made even better by the fact that it was only Edward and I, alone.

Edward stood and pulled me from my seat, making his way over to the sofa situated in front of the fireplace as I followed.

Edward stretched out his long legs along the sofa and I squealed as he pulled me down on top of him.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly to him as I snuggled in close, resting my cheek on Edward's chest.

Between the long day of skiing, the warm wine from dinner, the fire, and Edward's arms wrapped around me, I was beyond relaxed.

I could hear Edward's voice rumble in his chest, but I was lost to the heaviness of sleep as the combination of contentment and exhaustion finally overtook my efforts to stay awake.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed our little couples first full days in Italy. They had some fun and a little jealousward ^_~ So the end of the road is upon us, there will be one more chapter plus an epilogue to MMB. *sniff* *wipes tear* So many of you who have expressed your love for this story and I truly can't thank you enough for your love and support. There are several new readers and reviewers thank you and welcome.  
**

**I also told you that I would post a summary for my new story in this update, so here ya go:**

_**Haunted by ghosts from their pasts, can Edward and Bella help one another find trust again when their paths cross in the sleepy town of Forks? Or will their ghosts tear them apart? AH **_

**The new story's prologue will post once MMB completes. Jessica and I are still working through a few things and I would like to have a few chapters completed before I begin to post. **

**The following is the translation for the Italian spoken through out the chapter:  
**

_Benvenuto all'Albergo Ancora, come posso aiutarLa?_ = Welcome to the Hotel Ancora, how may I help you?

_Chiaramente. Mi permetta di solo guardare a quella prenotazione, signore. _= Of course. Let me just look at that reservation, sir.

_Che è una promessa molto pericolosa il mio caro Isabella_.= That's a very dangerous promise, my darling Isabella.

_Io voglio fare amore con Lei e Lei ha gridare il mio nome da ogni superficie fra come noi guardiamo il sole sorgere sulle montagne._ = I want to make love with you and have you calling my name from every surface within as we watch the sun rise over the mountains.

_Si svegli la mia bellezza riposo_ = Awake my sleeping beauty

**Until next time.... **

**xoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1  
**


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended. The story herein belongs solely to the author.**

**I have to send out a huge thank you as always to my super beta Jessica1971. Truly she has worked more magic over my words that what should be physically possible. She has been my Master Yoda since very early on in this journey and I thank her from the bottom of my heart. **

**Check out the a/n at the bottom. This is a link for the songs for the final chapter of MMB: **http://www(.)youtube(.)com/view_play_list?p=38147AE3B9A18202

* * *

Chapter 35 The beginning of our forever…

EPOV

The few days since arriving in Italy were like nothing I had ever experienced. The scenery around our hotel was something straight out of a travel agent's wet dream. I wasn't sure what I had expected, but what we were presented with was over and above anything in my wildest dreams.

There were several times over the time we had been there that I thought were going to be the perfect time to finally ask Bella the one question that would change the rest of our lives. Unfortunately, something or someone would interrupt the moment and it was gone before I could act on the opportunity.

That first night we were in Cortina, as Bella and I lay on the sofa in front of the fire, I fought with the need to just ask her then and there.

Once I finally gathered the courage and began trying to get her attention, I realized she was sound asleep and I would have to wait for another occasion to present itself.

After our first day of skiing, the encounter with Emilio had left me more than pissed off. I don't think I had ever wanted to kick anyone's ass as bad as I did that ski instructor, well outside of Tyler, but I scratched that itch. Kicking Casanova's ass was one desire I wouldn't be able to satisfy, I was sad to say.

I tried to shake off the disappointment of that development as Bella and I spent the rest of the day on the slopes, having a blast.

Bella decided the next morning that she was finished with ski classes after the way the dickhead had flirted with her and she didn't want to go back, so instead she asked for my help with the few skills she needed to work on.

Honestly, Bella was athletic enough that it wasn't really difficult for her to get the hang of the basics, and for the skiing we were going to be doing it was enough.

Bella and I had traveled most every inch of the trails through Cortina and the surrounding area by the end of the day.

We had decided to sleep in and just laze around the suite the next day. Bella and I stayed in bed napping and making love throughout the morning before going to watch a Polo match in the afternoon.

When we finally decided to get out of bed and have lunch, Bella decided she wanted to do some shopping and sightseeing along the promenade before we headed out to Misurino for the match.

The shops and cafés lining the promenade were beyond extraordinary; Bella seemed to fit right in with the people. Even with the language barrier, she quickly had the shop owners speaking what small amount of English they knew and trying to help her in any way they could.

I could do nothing more than stand back and watch her wrap each and every one of the people we came into contact with around her pretty little finger.

She simply amazed me.

I thought briefly that maybe I should have asked her to be my wife right there on the spot, but I wanted it to be special, and standing in the middle of some shop on the promenade just wasn't what I had in mind for the story I wanted to hear Bella repeating to our grandchildren one day.

We made our way back to the hotel to get the rental and take the twenty minute car ride over to the village where the Polo match was held.

Having only seen Polo played a few times before, I was in no way prepared for witnessing it being played on the ice and snow covered surface of Lake Misurino.

The sheer athleticism of the horses was beyond comprehension and I found myself mesmerized throughout the entire game.

I was happy to see that Bella seemed to be suffering from the same overwhelming sensations and we laughed at one another for staring with our mouths falling open as the game played out in front of us.

I felt the smile pull at the corner of my mouth when I looked at her face as we stood in the frosty air watching the game. I was positive I had never seen her look more beautiful than when the wind whipped her hair around her face. Her cheeks flushed from the cold, her eyes bright with the excitement of the game, she simply took my breath away.

The urge to drop to my knee at that very moment was almost painful. It was then I realized I didn't have her ring with me, having not had the opportunity when Bella wasn't in the room to slip it from its hiding place into my pocket. I sighed, resigning myself to waiting yet again.

The night started out perfectly after spending the day shopping and then the Polo match. We had gone ice skating at the rink just down the street from our hotel.

The rink was built to host the '56 Winter Olympics. At that time it was open air, the community only in recent years finally covered the rink which kept the ever changing weather from being a factor in sports activities any longer.

I made reservations for dinner at one of the restaurants on the promenade and felt sure it would be the perfect setting for a proposal. Dinner was to be followed by a horse drawn sleigh ride through town and back to our hotel.

Perfect. Romantic.

At least that's what I thought.

For a normal couple that would be the case; unfortunately, nothing ever seems to go as planned for Bella and me.

Dinner was amazing. The food was phenomenal and the conversation flowed between us seamlessly. I took Bella's hand in my own, slipping my free hand into my pocket to wrap my fingers around the small box waiting there.

Just as I cleared my throat to begin the speech, which had been running through my head on a loop for days now, and started to remove the ring box from my pocket, another patron of the restaurant tripped as they passed, spilling wine all over the table and surrounding area.

It was all I could do not to completely blow a gasket as I released Bella's hand as we both jumped back from our table.

Bella, oblivious to what I had been about to do, laughed it off, helping the man up from the top of our table and the waiters cleaned up the mess.

Needless to say, the combination of my nerves, disappointment, and the sheer ridiculousness of my damn luck completely killed my vision of the perfect evening.

The sleigh ride, after the fiasco of yet another failed attempt at a proposal, was beautiful, but I had a difficult time shaking the gnawing feeling that it wasn't the right moment to ask her.

After the night's disappointment of yet another failed attempt at making the leap, I was almost ready to give up hope of ever being able to get my ring on her finger with any type of finesse or with the romance that she deserved.

I thought hopefully today would be the best day yet. It had to be.

As it was New Year's Eve, there would be a large fireworks display at midnight and I couldn't wait to ring in the New Year with Bella. It would be the beginning of a completely new life for both of us.

I was going to get this right tonight. Come hell or high water, Bella was going to be wearing my ring before midnight.

I rolled onto my side, curling one arm under my pillow and wrapping the other around Bella's waist, pulling her close to my body as I thought about the days we had spent together. Even with the fumbling of my attempted proposals, it had been an amazing trip. Just being here, holding Bella in my arms, made everything else seem insignificant in comparison.

Lifting my head slightly, I brushed the hair from her shoulder with my fingertips and settled back down. Feeling the softness of her skin against my lips, I smiled as I heard her soft sigh. I nuzzled my nose into her hair, taking a deep breath and letting the scent of her shampoo infiltrate my senses.

"Ah....il mio caro Isabella. Così bello....il mio amore, la mia vita. Io gli creerò mia moglie molto, molto presto," I whispered, grazing my lips over her bare shoulder and pressing a kiss into the curve of her neck.

I flattened my hand over her abdomen, slowly making my way across the toned muscles, my thumb brushed the underside of her breasts and I couldn't stop the shift of my hips as my body began responding to having Bella in my arms. I smiled as Bella began to stir and molded her tiny body back into mine.

The quiet moan that fell from her lips only made me want her more, my growing erection pressed into her firm ass.

"Io voglio fare amore con Lei, il mio amore. Io così molto L'amo, io ho bisogno di mostrar La io amo quanto Lei, il mio caro," I murmured against the shell of her ear as I took it gently between my teeth.

"Mmmm….you're doing it again," Bella said, her voice thick with sleep as she lifted her arm to thread her fingers in my hair, holding me to her as I scraped my teeth lightly over her ear.

"What's that, baby," I asked, kissing along her jaw as she tilted her head toward me, and I moved my hand up to cup one pert breast, grazing my thumb over the already taut nipple.

"Ah…you're…um," she took a deep breath and arched her back as I palmed her breast. "You're…you're speaking Italian to me again."

I smiled and nipped my way down her throat until I found her shoulder and ghosted my lips back and forth over her warm skin.

"Mmm, I guess I am, aren't I?" I smirked. Even though I hadn't done it on purpose, it served to gain the desired result regardless.

Bella whimpered slightly as I slid my hand slowly from her breast and over her abdomen. I could feel the muscles of her stomach as they tightened the closer I got to the place I knew we both needed me to touch at that moment.

"Oh God, Edward," she moaned, pressing into my hand as I cupped her sex before sliding a single finger along her wet skin and circling her swollen clit.

"I need you, Bella," I whispered. She gasped as I slipped a finger inside her. "God, Bella, you're so beautiful….so, so beautiful. Just like this, when you're with me like this….there's nowhere else I ever want to be. I love you so much."

Bella turned her head and I covered her mouth with mine, instantly deepening the kiss as I plunged my tongue past her lips. The need surged through my system at lightning speed and I felt my dick grow harder as Bella responded to my ministrations.

Bella's eyes locked with mine as I slowed our kiss, a small whimper escaped her as I removed my fingers to slide my palm down the inside of her thigh, lifting her leg to hook her calf over my hip, opening her to me.

I pressed my forehead to hers and closed my eyes against the sensations screaming inside my body as I slipped inside her with a quick shift of my hips.

"Ah…oh, God," Bella sighed as she pressed back into my body.

Curling my fingers around her thigh and sliding my other arm around her chest to hold her to me as I moved inside her, I felt my orgasm building quickly.

I had only taken her like this a few times, and it took my breath away every time at how much stronger the sensations were, how much tighter her body was around me this way.

Bella raised her head slightly, pressing her lips to mine, and I moaned into her mouth as she opened to me, our tongues meeting and caressing one another in a slow burning kiss as we moved together.

I knew I couldn't hold out much longer with her kissing me that way, with her moving against me like that, and I slid my hand from her thigh down to find her clit once again.

"Ungh, Edward," she moaned against my lips.

Looking down into heavy lidded eyes, seeing them burning with the intensity of her own building orgasm, was almost my undoing.

"God, Bella…you feel so good, baby…so good," I murmured, kissing her gently.

My pace began to increase as I felt the coil in my abdomen tightening, and just when I didn't think I could hold it back any longer, Bella cried out my name and her body froze, clamping down around me as she tumbled into her own ecstasy, pulling me along with her.

I dropped my head to the crook of her neck as we lay there, trying to catch our breath for a long moment before I shifted slightly, pulling out of her warmth. I sighed heavily at the loss.

"I don't think I can move…at all," Bella giggled, her hand which had stayed buried in my hair fell limply to the pillow above my head, her forearm covering her eyes.

I chuckled, kissing her back.

"No, I'm serious. I don't think my bones will hold me up, they're complete Jell-o."

"I'm right there with you, darlin'," I laughed, raising my head to kiss her cheek before dropping back to my pillow, but not moving any further away from her.

"I love you, Edward….so much," she murmured, moving to lace her fingers with mine and tipping her chin to kiss the arm that was still wrapped around her chest.

"I love you, too, sweetheart."

"What time are we supposed to be in Sappada?" she asked, her voice husky as I felt her breathing becoming slower, and I knew she was drifting off to sleep.

I lifted my head to glance at the clock on the bedside table.

"Not for a while, we've got time for a nap. Go to sleep, sweet girl," I said, kissing her hair as I settled down against my pillow once again.

"Umm-k," she mumbled. Turning in my arms, she curled into my body, throwing a leg over my hip and pressing a kiss to my chest before she fell asleep once again.

I smiled as I relaxed and let sleep overtake me, holding my girl tightly in my arms.

"Bella," I called as I knelt beside the bed and looked under it for the hundredth time for my wallet. "Do you know where my wallet is? I can't find it."

"Yeah," she answered and I looked up to see her entering the room from the bathroom, smiling.

"Well, where is it? I've been looking for it for thirty minutes now," I said, frustrated that she was smiling like the Cheshire cat, but I still had no idea where the damn thing was.

"Right where you left it last night," she laughed as she passed me on her way out of the bedroom.

"And where is that? Really, Bella, we don't have time for you to tease me. We're going to be late."

"I'm not teasing you, and you're a grown man, you'd think you would remember where you leave your things," she said, looking at me over her shoulder as she reached the door.

"Ugh! Are you going to tell me where it is or not?" I asked grumpily.

"Geez, did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or what?" Bella rolled her eyes and crossed back toward the bathroom.

I followed close behind her to see where it was, because I had searched the whole damn room for the stupid thing, so it couldn't have been in that obvious of a place.

"You left it in your jeans when you stripped out of them last night before you attacked me in the sauna," she said, smacking me in the chest with my wallet as she turned around and saw me standing open mouthed behind her.

"Well, damn," I mumbled. "I didn't think to look there."

"Hmph," she snorted as she pushed past me, mumbling something under her breath that sounded a lot like _'you'd think you would have woken up in a better mood than this, you grumpy ass.'_

I laughed, tucking the wallet into the back pocket of my jeans, because she was right; I was being grumpy. Though I knew it was nothing more than my nerves, I needed to make it up to her quickly.

I growled loudly and she squealed as I grabbed her from behind, wrapping my arms around her waist and lifting her into my arms as I ran across the room. I turned just as we reached the bed and held her to me so I wouldn't crush her as I jumped and we landed in the center of the bed.

"Let go of me, you idiot," she said, her voice sharp as she struggled to get away from me, pushing against my arms.

"Nope, not going to do it," I said, laughing. I rolled, shifting her in my arms until she lay under me and I pinned her to the bed.

Grabbing both of her wrists, I lifted her arms above her head and held them with one hand while I cupped her cheek with the other, "I'm never going to let you go, Isabella."

She sucked in a sharp breath and stared into my eyes. The air around us seemed to change instantly from one of playfulness to being filled with electricity, popping and cracking around our bodies.

"I don't want you to," she whispered.

I crushed my mouth to hers. Continuing to hold her wrists, I slid my hand that had held her face to curl around her neck, holding her tighter to me as our lips moved together in a searing kiss.

Plunging my tongue inside her mouth, I explored her, tasted her as if it was the first time. She arched against me, tightening her thighs around my hips as the kiss intensified.

Reluctantly, I slowed the kiss and pulled away slightly, "I'm sorry for being so grumpy, but we're going to be late for sure if we don't stop."

"I guess I forgive you for being a man," she smirked and then kissed me quickly before tilting her head and glancing toward where I still held her wrists. "But you're going to have to turn me loose before we can go anywhere."

"Oh, yeah," I laughed and released her, crawling off the bed and offering her a hand to help her up.

We made our way out of the hotel to the rental to start the trek up to Sappada.

The hotel concierge had given me the specifics on the rental companies in Sappada and Misirano, suggesting that if I wanted the full treatment, Sappada was the place to take Bella.

We would spend the day on a guided tour throughout the mountain trails surrounding Sappada. According to what I was told, we would be able to get amazing three-hundred-sixty degree views of the entire valley on many of the stops along the trails. The tour guides would lead us through the trails and up the mountain. We were to have a late lunch al fresco and would be on the trails until well after sunset.

Our reservations were for nine at one of the refugio's on the mountain, which would give us plenty of time to have a leisurely dinner then get a good spot on the deck before the fireworks began and the New Year arrived.

The plan was to finally put my ring on Bella's finger as we watched the fireworks display from the top of the mountain. I felt the butterflies dancing in my abdomen at the thought of finally asking her the question that had been burning in my mind for so long now.

I truly felt like I was going to explode from the anticipation. It was bad enough to know I wanted to ask one of the most difficult questions a guy could pose to the woman he loves, but to have nearly a week's worth of failing miserably trying to do so wasn't exactly a confidence booster and served to only make my anxiety that much higher.

Bella's voice brought me back to the present moment and I glanced at her from the corner of my eye.

"Edward."

"Yeah, baby," I said, reaching across the console to take her hand in mine and bring it to my lips.

I wasn't sure if she would notice that I pressed my lips to her third finger. A lump filled my throat as I thought about what it would be like in a few hours to do that very same gesture, only to feel the diamond and platinum beneath my lips instead of Bella's sweet skin.

"I…" she trailed off as she turned and her warm brown eyes looked like molten chocolate as she looked up at me before I glanced back at the road. "I just wanted to tell you how much fun this trip has been. I've had so much fun and….just, thank you."

"Bella," I sighed, a smile pulling at the corner of my mouth. "You have no idea how much it has meant to me to be able to share this with you, to be in this place," I paused, shaking my head and glancing to look into her eyes.

"Bella, there is no one I wanted to have this experience with other than you. Thank you for sharing it with me."

"I love you, Edward, so much," she murmured, as she leaned across the console, cupping my cheek with her free hand and holding me to her as she pressed her lips to my cheek.

"God, Bella," I sighed, as she pressed her forehead against my jaw. "I love you, too, baby."

Bella kissed my neck before pulling back and shifting in her seat to get more comfortable, never releasing my hand. She rested her head on my shoulder and wrapped her free hand around my bicep, hugging my arm to her.

I dropped a kiss to the top of her head and took a deep breath, reveling in the unique scent that is my Bella.

Bella stayed in that position until we arrived in Sappada and I parked the rental in front of the tour office.

"Bella," I said, moving my shoulder slightly to wake her. "Wake up, sweetheart, we're here."

I smiled as she lifted her head, blinking slowly. She looked around, a little disoriented and rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Hey, sleepyhead, you ready for this?" I asked, nodding toward the snowmobiles ready and waiting at the side of the rental office.

I could see a group of people gathered around the line of vehicles and was happy to notice that at least two of the couples there looked to be American.

Bella turned to me with a wide smile and nodded enthusiastically.

We exited the car and made our way into the office to check in before being instructed to join the group I had assumed was part of our tour when we arrived.

The group greeted us and introductions were made. I had been right and there were two American couples, along with a trio of French college boys on holiday and five girls from Manchester, England traveling together on a college graduation gift from their parents.

We were joined shortly by our tour guides, who began quickly loading a sled, which was attached behind one of the snowmobiles, with coolers and supplies for the lunch break we would have mid-afternoon.

I noticed that the female guide looked like she might possibly be American, though she had dark hair and an appearance that suggested Italian descent. She slipped between speaking English and Italian to the man assisting her in loading the supplies.

Once they were finished loading their sleds, the tour guides turned back to our group and introduced themselves.

"Buon pomeriggio, benvenuto a Sappada Tours A motore," the female tour guide began. "I am Adrianna. This," she gestured to the tall dark haired man by her side, "is my husband, Luca. We will be conducting your tour through our mountains today. Thank you for trusting us to show you a wonderful afternoon in the Dolomites. As you all know, we will be taking a break in the late-afternoon. At that time we will have reached one of our mountain top lakes where a lunch will be served and time allowed for you all to rest before continuing through the remainder of the tour. The tour will end back here where those of you who have made reservations at one of the local refugio's for dinner may take your leave then.

"Luca will now demonstrate the safety precautions and the operation of your vehicles before we begin. Luca," she smiled up at the man as he stepped forward.

Luca returned her smile as he cleared his throat before making his introduction and began to explain the ins and outs of how to operate the snowmobile. He went on to explain that each of the helmets contained microphones so drivers and passengers of the vehicles could communicate with one another throughout the tour.

We would be stopping periodically throughout the tour for photo opportunities and so that we could fully appreciate the beauty of the surrounding landscape.

After spending thirty minutes going over every button and gauge, we were finally given our helmets and assigned the order in which we would be lining up for the tour.

We would not be required to stay in a single file line through the entire tour, but for the beginning and until we were comfortable with controlling the machinery, it was easier for them to ensure our safety and to keep everyone at a set pace.

I was happy to know that Bella and I would be bringing up the rear of our little convoy, just in front of Luca and the supply sled. As I watched the giggling college graduates, I was glad they would be spread out between the boys and the other two couples would be following behind them.

Visions of giggling girls speeding up by accident when they should be slowing down and running into the back of the vehicle in front of them flashed through my mind as I watched them take to their machines. Evidently, Luca and Adrianna figured the boys would be less likely to be annoyed by this than Bella and I or the other couples. I had to agree.

I offered Bella a hand once I was settled on the seat. She quickly took her place, wrapping her arms around my waist, her thighs pressing alongside mine as she molded her body to me.

I had to take a deep breath, holding it before releasing it through my nose slowly as the sensations and the thought of sitting between her legs in this way for hours on end had my mind and body reeling for a moment.

Adrianna gave the signal for us to fire up the engines and the loud hum of the machine distracted me before I heard Bella's voice crack in the helmet microphone.

"This reminds me of when we were kids riding four-wheelers around the ranch."

I chuckled as I remembered well how crazy it made me as a sixteen year old boy with raging hormones to have Bella wrapped around me in much the same way as we rode through the trails surrounding our family's ranches.

Slowly accelerating, I followed behind the rest of our group as we began making our way toward the trail head I could see about three hundred yards away.

We made our way through the forested area at the base of the mountain, slowly ascending higher along the trail.

Once we were under way, the conversation between Bella and I was easy as she pointed out everything from a small bird sitting on a branch to the way the early afternoon sun glistened off the snow covered ground beside the trail.

We continued over the mountain trail at a decent clip for the next two hours. As we crested a hilltop, I heard Bella suck in a breath as the frozen expanse of a hidden lake came into view.

Adrianna had told us we would find a lake on top of one of the mountains where we would take our lunch break, but this was wholly not what I expected.

We had seen the Polo match played out on frozen Lake Misiruno, so I was aware that it was an unearthly beautiful thing to see, but this was incredible and left me completely speechless for a moment.

The lake was about five-hundred yards wide and flanked with the blue-grey rock of the Dolomites at one end and two sides.

I could imagine how the water would shimmer during the summer as I watched the Sun glint on the pristine ice.

The view was simply spectacular.

Adrianna and Luca called everyone's attention to the sled, holding the supplies and our lunch once we were all parked in a semi-circle near the lakeshore.

Each couple or group was provided a waterproof blanket and a medium size cooler. We were then told we were free to explore the area but we were to return within the hour to continue the tour.

We were working on a tight schedule and any extra time spent waiting on members of the group would cause us to lose time and everything else on the tour to be off schedule.

Once everyone had their respective lunches and blankets, the group separated and went our individual ways around the lakes edge.

I took Bella's hand in mine and led her to a spot I noticed shortly after we first topped the ridge.

It was located furthest from where we parked the snowmobiles and was what appeared to be a small beach area. Obviously, this area was touched by the sun most of the day as there was no snow cover.

Taking the blanket from Bella, I spread it over the small sandy area and gestured for her to take a seat once I was finished.

She knelt down, sitting back on her heels as she unloaded the cooler full of food, and I lay down beside her, stretching along the edge of the blanket.

There was a large loaf of crusty Italian bread with Bruschetta, a small thermos of minestrone, and finally a lobster risotto. A bottle of Pinot Grigio was the last thing Bella removed from our baggie of goodies.

Bella arranged all our food as I sat up to uncork the wine bottle and pour us both a glass.

We settled in for a relaxing lunch and once again I was struck by the sheer beauty of our surroundings.

I took a sip of my wine as I surveyed the area and thought about how much, despite the fact that I had yet to pop the question, this had truly been an enjoyable trip.

The adventure today was absolutely the best way to spend our last day here, and it would end at the stroke of midnight with my own personal Cinderella wearing my ring. Or so I hoped.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella asked, leaning over to offer me the final bite of the risotto.

I hummed in appreciation as I chewed, taking another sip of wine before answering.

"I was thinking about how amazing this entire trip has been and how much I love you."

Bella smiled at me over the top of her wine glass as she brought it to her lips.

She crawled over to snuggle into my side as I lay back on the blanket and I wrapped my arm around her, holding her tightly to my side.

Bella nuzzled her nose into the crook of my neck and released a contented sigh. I felt my heart stutter as she pressed her lips to my pulse point and my arm tightened around her waist.

"I love you, Edward, so very much."

I turned my head to brush my lips across her forehead, squeezing my eyes tightly closed as so many different emotions assaulted me at that one moment.

Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly to calm the maelstrom, I held Bella to me as tightly as I could. "I can't tell you what it does to me to hear you say those words, Bella. I can't even begin to express to you how much I love you. If I told you every day for a hundred years it would never be enough."

Bella looked up at me through her lashes. I watched as every emotion I was feeling flashed behind her beautiful dark eyes. I lifted my hand to run the back of my fingers from her temple down to her chin before curling my hand under her jaw and pressing my lips to hers.

I pulled back to peck her lips a few more times and smiled as I lay back again on the blanket. Bella rested her head on my chest as I ran my hand over her hair. I chuckled lightly as I could feel the gnarls in her long locks from the helmet and the wind whipping it around while we were on the trails.

"Argh…" I groaned as I checked my watch. "As much as I hate to say this, we have to get back to the others so we can make our dinner reservation."

Bella groaned and turned her face into my chest, tightening her arm around my waist, "I don't wanna."

I laughed and kissed the top of her head.

"Me either, sweetheart, but we have to get going. It's going to take a few hours to get back to the rental office and then up the mountain to dinner."

"Ugh, alright, if we have to," she grumbled with a smile on her face.

Reluctantly, I released her with one last kiss.

While Bella packed away the trash and the remnants of our lunch, I shook out the blanket to refold it, stuffing it into the nearly empty cooler.

Shouldering the cooler, I took Bella's hand and we began making our way back the way we came.

We walked for a while in silence, just enjoying the last moments of the day as the sun was slowly falling in the sky, glinting off the surface of the frozen lake. I took a deep breath and released it as the anxiety which had left my body while we relaxed during our lunch was suddenly sitting heavily in the pit of my stomach.

Asking Bella to be my wife was not the cause of the anxiety, it was the fact that no matter what plans I made over the last few days, they all went to shit when I attempted to execute them. So to say I was a bundle of nerves would be a gross understatement.

What would I do if tonight didn't work out? Would I just wait until we got into Florence? What if she said no?

I mean, we've talked about it. I've told her on more than one occasion that I would make her my wife one day soon, but what if she's changed her mind? What if she wasn't ready now? What if she…

"Edward."

Bella's sweet voice brought me out of my near panic over all the things that could go wrong. I turned to see her biting the corner of her lip and her brow furrowed, a look of concern on her face, and felt my heart seize in my chest.

"What is it, sweetheart? Why do you look so worried?" I asked as I stopped to wrap an arm around her waist, pulling her into me and rubbing my thumb over the crease between her eyebrows.

I was trying hard to calm my own fears of what would have her looking so upset suddenly. Bella placed her hands on my chest and looked up at me.

"I…" she stopped and closed her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath.

"What's wrong, baby?" I asked, cupping her cheek as she opened her eyes to look at me once again and I tightened my arm around her waist, holding her body flush with mine.

"I…Edward, today has been so wonderful, and so much fun…." she trailed off.

I tried to smile and nodded, encouraging her to continue as my stomach coiled with anxiety.

My previous thoughts of how very wrong things could go began to creep into my consciousness and made me feel nauseous. I swallowed the bile at the back of my throat and looked into Bella's eyes.

"I know that you made plans for us to have dinner at the end of the tour, but…can we just go back to the hotel. I really just want to spend the night with you. Would you mind if we have dinner in the room and it just be the two of us?" she asked.

I watched her face, noticing she looked as if she was fighting back tears, and for a moment I wanted to cry myself as yet another plan to finally propose went up in smoke.

Swallowing thickly, I smiled. "Of course, baby, whatever you want to do. Having dinner in the room would be great."

"I'm sorry…I know you went to all the trouble of making reservations. I don't mean to ruin your plans. I just-"

"Bella, stop," I framed her face between my palms and kissed her forehead. "Why would I complain about you saying you want to go back to the hotel and be with just me? Yes, I made reservations, but it wasn't a lot of trouble. I don't care where we are, sweetheart, as long as you're there with me, okay?"

Bella slid her hands over my chest to thread her fingers into my hair as I bent to press my lips to hers. She sighed, leaning into me as she tightened her grasp on my hair and pulled me into her more firmly.

As I kissed her standing on the bank of that frozen lake, in the middle of the Dolomite Mountains, it was as though I were hit by a bolt of lightning with an epiphany of realization.

This was our last night here; we would ring in the New Year in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Tomorrow we would leave this winter wonderland and travel south to Florence.

I had tried every way from Sunday to just ask her to marry me in a dozen different scenarios, but with every grand gesture I manufactured over the last few days, none of them came to fruition.

Honestly, looking back on the last few days and seeing Bella in front of me in this place, none of those instances felt right and I suddenly understood why.

There was something that just seemed so….contrived or cliché about what I planned all those times before, and it all made sense to me why as we stood wrapped in one another's arms.

That moment….right then, everything was different.

There were no roses or candlelight.

No romantic dinners with white linens, crystal, and champagne. We weren't dressed in our finest clothes. We were bundled in ski parkas and heavy layers, having spent most of the day in the frigid winter air of Northern Italy.

As Bella and I stood in quite literally the most beautiful place I have ever seen and stared into one another's eyes with my arms wrapped around her waist, it was then that I knew. Here, now, this was the right place.

Everything was right and snapped into place without all the grand gestures of any time before.

The ring felt as though it were pulsating from its hiding place inside my pocket.

Tucking a wayward lock of hair behind her ear as she leaned in to gently kiss my lips before pulling back slightly, she looked up at me through her thick lashes as I stroked a single finger gently across her jaw.

The adoration I saw in her eyes caused my throat to constrict with emotion. My heart stuttered and paused before slamming into my ribs with a staccato rhythm that made it difficult to breathe.

"Edward?" she asked, a frown suddenly creasing her brow as she took in what I'm sure was a stricken expression as I was overcome with the gravity of the moment.

Bella framed my face with her small hands, "Edward, are you okay?"

I nodded, unable to look away from her eyes as I tried to control my breathing. I knew I was close to hyperventilating and needed a moment to collect myself.

I closed my eyes in hopes of breaking the intensity of her gaze and the realization of what I was about to do.

Slowly pushing my left hand into my pocket, I felt the cool platinum of her ring resting deep inside and wrapped my fingers around it tightly.

Circling her wrist with one hand, I removed it from my face to lace our fingers together, as she dropped her other hand to her side.

I opened my eyes to lock once more with Bella's.

"Bella," I murmured her name, taking a deep breath and clearing my throat, trying desperately to dislodge the lump threatening to choke me.

I removed my left hand from my pocket, keeping it fisted around the ring in my palm.

Clearing my throat once more and swallowing thickly, I tried once more, "Bella….I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Edward," she said, confusion coloring her face and voice.

She almost looked frightened at the sudden change in the air around us as she tried to figure out what was happening.

"I know you do, baby…..Bella, I've tried so many times since Christmas day to get the right words, the right…setting? I guess, to do this…But just now as we were standing here, after the day we've had just being together, being us and you said how much you wanted to just be with me… I realized that there isn't any _one_ right place or _one_ right way to do this…" I trailed off and dropped to one knee as I held fast to her left hand and looked up into her beautiful face.

"Oh my God," she breathed and covered her mouth with a trembling hand, a tear sliding from the corner of her eye.

"Bella, I have loved you for most of my life. Even when I was too young to know that's what it was, I loved you. I haven't always made the right choices and I've hurt you," I paused to take a calming breath as more tears streaked down her beautiful face following the first.

I fought to catch my breath against the tightening sensation in my chest.

"There will be times in our future when I'm sure I will hurt you again, because, well….sometimes I act before I think," I huffed a derisive breath at the amount of truth in that simple statement.

Bella laughed a watery giggle as she wiped at the tears on her face before cupping my cheek in her palm. Her eyes were soft and shining with emotion as she looked into mine.

"But I swear to you that I will love you like no man has ever loved a woman. You are everything that is right in my life. You make me want to be a better man; I _am_ a better man because of you."

I released her hand for only a moment to grasp her ring between my thumb and forefinger. I took her hand in mine once again, holding the ring just over the tip of her finger.

"Isabella Marie Swan, will you marry me?"

Bella sucked in a breath as she glanced at the ring, taking in the symbol of my devotion and love, before shifting her gaze to lock with mine again.

"Yes," she said on a breath.

"Yes?" I asked, needing to hear it once more so my heart would believe it, to know for sure as I slipped the ring over her finger, that she really had just said yes.

"Yes, Edward. Yes!"

I jumped to my feet quickly, taking her in my arms and lifting her from the ground and spinning her around as I covered her mouth with my own.

The cheers from our tour group rang out behind us; obviously we had an audience that I was unaware of before that moment.

Bella wrapped her arms and legs around me tightly as I deepened our kiss, holding her tightly. There was nothing more I needed to hear. A small sob broke from my chest as I buried my face in the crook of her neck.

"Edward," she said, choking on the tears as she clung to me. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you so much….God, Bella, so much."

Feeling more happiness than should be legal, I was completely lost in my love for Bella and I knew that I would spend the rest of my days worshiping the woman in my arms with everything in me.

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed their last days in Cortina and the proposal. I have so many mixed emotions about finishing my first fic, it's bittersweet to say the least.  
**

** It has truly been a labor of love and I must thank all of you who have taken this journey with me. Thank you for your loyalty, your love and your support of this story and many of you have favorited, pimped, reviewed or just read this story and have made me smile in so many ways. There are not enough words to tell you how much I thank you for it all. **

**The Epilogue is in the works and will post when completed. There will also be an outtake that I'm working on for Jessica1971 that is Seth and Angela and how they met, it will be out soon. As you know the new story, Someone Like You, will begin posting sometime soon after the MMB epilogue posts. If you have me on author alert you should receive the alert when it begins. I will also post on Twitter the link when it begins posting. **

**Thank you again to Jessica1971 for much, much more than I can put in this a/n but for being my Yoda and my friend. I love you!  
**

**I had a few requests for what Emilio said in the last chapter that pissed Edward off so here it is:**

Americano sciocco, io potrei mostrare le sue piccole cose di donna che l'avrebbero implorandomi per portarla via da lui. = Silly American, I could show his little woman things that would have her begging me to take her away from him.

**The translations for the Italian in the chapter follow:**

Ah....il mio caro Isabella. Così bello....il mio amore, la mia vita. Io gli creerò mia moglie molto, molto presto. = Ah....my darling Isabella. So beautiful....my love, my life. I will make you my wife very, very soon.

Io voglio fare amore con Lei, il mio amore. Io così molto L'amo, io ho bisogno di mostrarLa io amo quanto Lei, il mio caro. = I want to make love with you, my love. I love you so much, I need to show you how much I love you, my darling.


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. The plot and story herein is property of the author. **

**As always a huge thank you, really more than I can even express, to Jessica1971. Over the course of this journey she has become much, much more to me than the beta for MMB. I'm proud to say that she is my friend. Thank you darlin' for all that you do for me. *hugs*  
**

**So here it is the epilogue for Make Me Believe. I'm not going to take up space here and I'll let you get on with the story but please check out the A/N at the bottom.  
**

* * *

Epilogue

_Seven years later…_

__EPOV

"Bella," I called, not receiving an answer as I made my way out of the kitchen and headed down the hallway toward Johnathan's room.

As I pushed the door to his room open and stuck my head inside, a breath caught in my chest at the sight that greeted me.

In all the years Bella and I had been together, there was no point of reference for comparison of the level of joy which rushed through my system at seeing my wife curled up in bed with our little boy. Johnathan was snuggled in close to her side, both of them sound asleep.

Crossing the room and trying not to wake her, I gently removed the book Bella had been reading to Johnathan from her hand. I smiled as I sat it on the bedside table. _The story of Ferdinand _was Johnathan's favorite book. No matter how many times he heard it, he always wanted to read it again. I turned back to the bed and bent to kiss Bella on the forehead.

Pulling back, I leaned over and took a deep breath as I pressed my nose into my little boy's hair and kissed him as well.

There were no words to describe how precious these two people were to me.

There was something about the whole scene that brought me an immeasurable amount of peace; though it felt a bit voyeuristic at times, I couldn't find it in me to not do it often.

I always enjoyed watching Bella sleep, and now to do that with my son as well was simply indescribable. The two of them were so much alike and, seeing them in sleep, the similarities were stunning.

Though Johnathan's hair was not quite as dark as Bella's, it was similar. The shape of his eyes and brow were Bella's, although the color was exactly the same green as mine.

It warmed my heart as I watched Johnathan to see the resemblance to his mother while he lay there sleeping. I brushed a gentle finger over his rounded little cheek and felt the same burning in my chest that occurred every time I looked at my son.

I stood and rounded the bed to settle in the rocking chair where Bella and I had spent more nights than I could count rocking Johnathan as an infant. He still liked to sit and rock as we told him stories or read books to him, but said he was too big to be rocked to sleep because 'that was baby stuff'.

Stretching my legs out in front of me, I smiled as I laced my fingers behind my head and leaned back in the chair to watch them sleep for a little while.

Today was Johnathan's third birthday. The party Bella put together was a rousing success and, to my chagrin, the boy received more toys than it would ever be possible to actually use. The sheer number of Matchbox cars and Breyer horses was enough to fill our life with the horrors of stepping on the damn things in the middle of the night for years to come.

The memories of how we fought to bring Johnathan into the world began flipping through my mind, and I felt the smile pull even wider across my face.

I would like to say it had all been a piece of cake, but it was far from it. Bella and I decided soon after our wedding that we wanted to try to find a surrogate and start our family. Bella began the search by contacting Connie at Dr. Gonzalez's office to get the name of reputable surrogate services.

After calling a few of the companies Connie provided contacts for, Bella was more than frustrated with the information she gathered. The legal jargon mumbo jumbo and red tape hoops you had to jump through were much more than we ever realized. Honestly, it was more than a bit overwhelming.

The fact that the baby would be ours biologically but that Bella would still be required to adopt the child after it was born was somewhat frightening, though the surrogate was technically no relation at all.

It was a very real fear that by using a stranger to carry our child, we would have to fight for custody after everything was said and done. Just the thought of going through everything to bring a baby into the world, only to have it possibly ripped away from us, almost convinced me that we needed to revisit the option of possibly adopting an older child and not an infant.

Even with the fear and frustrations, we made appointments with two different companies to meet surrogates.

Before either of those appointments could be kept, we received a phone call from Rosalie asking if she and Emmett could come over to talk.

Bella and I were both shocked when Rosalie volunteered to be our surrogate.

Rosalie assured us that she had already discussed the possibility with Dr. Gonzalez and he had given her the green light. Her pregnancy with Garrett had been less than stellar, but Abbey had been a breeze for all intents and purposes. She was only a year older than Bella, so her age didn't put her at any higher risk than if Bella were carrying the child herself.

Though we were hesitant to agree, I couldn't deny the thrill that shot through me knowing that all the fears Bella and I shared about losing our child in the court system would be completely alleviated if Rosalie was our surrogate.

Bella called and made an appointment with Dr. Gonzalez for the four of us to meet with him to discuss the risks and what the procedures entailed.

The appointment was overwhelming as he described that Bella and Rosalie would both be put on hormone therapy. Bella would have to endure a painful procedure to harvest the eggs to be used for the in-vitro. The eggs would be fertilized, and after a few days growth inside a petri dish, the embryo would be implanted inside Rosalie's womb.

Rosalie had to endure a similar hormone therapy to ready her body for the implantation, as it wouldn't happen as a normal pregnancy would have occurred.

After making it through the first attempt, they began the procedure hoping to have at least a few embryos after fertilization that would be viable. The more that were implanted, the greater the likelihood that one would actually take root and become our baby, for lack of a better term.

It made me somewhat queasy realizing how similar the procedures were to what I did with our mares on the ranch.

When we found out Rosalie wasn't pregnant after the first procedure, it was devastating, but we were resolved to try again. After the second failed implantation, Bella fell apart and it took everything in me not to follow right along with her.

If the months of being on an emotional rollercoaster ride from the hormone injections weren't enough to drive her over the edge, the initial failed attempts to harvest viable eggs for the in-vitro procedure, then finally having embryos that would be implanted followed by Rosalie not becoming pregnant even after the second procedure, finally sent Bella careening into the abyss.

We were both a mess when we returned home from the meeting with Dr. Gonzalez, Rose and Emmett.

It took a few hours before Bella calmed down so we could discuss what had happened and whether we wanted to continue trying to have a baby.

I wasn't sure putting Rosalie and Bella through yet another round of injections and painful procedures was worth the heartache. As much as I wanted a child, I didn't know if I could see Bella get her hopes up, or myself for that matter, just to feel the crushing disappointment yet again when the results came back weeks later that it was unsuccessful.

Adoption was very much an option that both of us were willing to pursue and we discussed at least checking into the requirements. But a decision about whether to continue with one more in-vitro procedure still loomed over us.

The decision was made for us when Rosalie and Emmett showed up at our house later that same night.

_I sat in my chair holding Bella in my lap as Emmett and Rosalie entered the family room. Emmett had called my cell shortly before to let me know they were coming over and wanted to talk. _

"_Listen," Rosalie said, taking a seat next to Emmett on the sofa as he wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. "I know what you're thinking, Bella, and you can just cut that shit out right now. I told you when we went into this thing that we were going to get you a baby. We're both perfectly healthy and there's no reason-," Bella cut her off before she could finish. _

"_Rosalie, we can't keep asking you to put your body through this…." Bella trailed off as a strangled sob shook her shoulders. _

_I tightened my arms around her, pulling her more firmly into my chest and pressing my lips to the top of her head. _

"_Bella, that's just ridiculous. You're going through it, as well, and are you ready to stop doing it?" Rosalie asked, nailing Bella with a determined look. _

"_No," she sighed into my chest._

"_Okay, then. We do it again and it's going to work this time. I know it," Rosalie smiled at me and then looked back at Bella. "It's going to work."_

Thankfully, Rosalie was right and the third procedure was a success. I laughed quietly as I thought about how no matter which way you looked at the situation, on some level the whole thing sounded like an episode of Jerry Springer. My sister-in-law was carrying my child. I mean, really? Regardless of the logistics of the situation, it was weird.

Though it struck me as a bit strange that my child was conceived in a petri dish, I was simply honored that Rosalie, and Emmett for that matter, was willing to go to such lengths to give us the gift of our child.

Bella's voice brought me back to the present and I smiled as Bella looked at me over the sleeping form of our son.

"Hi," she said, shifting slightly on the bed as Johnathan snuggled deeper into her body.

"Hi," I smiled, moving to lie down behind Johnathan.

Thank God we put a full size bed in his room instead of the toddler bed we considered.

I reached over to tuck a lock of Bella's hair behind her ear. She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment as I curled my hand around her neck, threading my fingers into her hair.

"What were you thinking about?" she asked, smiling sleepily as she ran her fingers through Johnathan's hair.

"Lots of things," I said, shifting onto my elbow and leaning across Johnathan's body so I could bring my lips to hers. "Mostly I was thinking about how very blessed I am to have you and this little boy in my life."

Bella smiled, looking deep into my eyes.

"I love you," she breathed and pressed her lips to mine again.

"Mmm, I love you, too, sweetheart," I murmured against her lips as I pulled back slightly.

"He's a special little boy," Bella said, looking back at Johnathan's sleeping form. "I can't believe he's already three. It seems like just yesterday he was born."

I chuckled, "I know, he's getting so big."

I settled down into the pillow, curling my arm under my head and running my free hand down over Bella's shoulder to drape easily on her waist. I traced lazy circles on the skin of her lower back where her shirt had ridden up slightly as my mind drifted to the day I met the second love of my life.

"_Edward…" Bella's voice floated to me from somewhere very far away. _

"_Edward," she said more insistently and I felt her hand on my shoulder. _

_I groaned, rolling over and slowly opening my eyes to be met by Bella's wide eyed stare, her lip trembling slightly and tears building quickly atop her bottom lid. _

"_It's time," she said, her voice barely above a whisper._

_I felt my brow furrow in confusion as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. _

"_Time for what, baby? What are you talking about?" I asked, my voice thick with sleep as I blinked a few times slowly and rolled to turn on the lamp beside the bed. _

_I groaned and squeezed my eyes closed as the room was awash in light before turning back to see Bella seemingly frozen in time. _

"_Bella," I said, reaching out to cup her cheek. "Baby, what's wrong?"_

"_Edward," she squeaked. "It's time." _

"_Time?" I asked again. As the words left my mouth, I realized what she was saying and my eyes went wide with shock. "Oh, shit! Are you serious?" _

_Bella only nodded as I jumped out of bed, grabbing my jeans from the chair where I had thrown them before climbing into bed a few hours earlier. _

_Crossing to the dresser, I grabbed the first T-shirt I could find and threw it over my head before grabbing a pair of socks. _

"_Bella," I said, turning to see that she sat still as stone on the side of our bed, her feet dangling just above the floor, a completely blank look upon her face._

"_Bella, honey, are you okay?" I asked as I crossed back to the bed._

_I knelt between her thighs, reaching up to frame her face in the palms of my hands, but when she met my eyes it felt as though she were looking _through_ me, not actually _at _me. _

"_Bella, baby, look at me," I said._

_A tiny whimper escaped her as she finally seemed to focus on me and a large tear slid from the corner of her eye. _

_I jumped to my feet, pulling her into my arms and holding her as a sob racked her body. _

"_Oh God, Edward," she cried, her words muffled as she buried her face in my chest. "I'm so scared." _

"_Shh….it's okay, baby. Everything's going to be just fine. Shhh," I said, running a hand over her back soothingly. _

_The journey toward reaching this moment had taken its toll on Bella, and it was never more evident than at that moment. I felt the stinging of tears in my own eyes as I tightened my arms around her shaking body and buried my nose in her hair, taking a deep breath, struggling with the tenuous hold on my own emotions. _

"_I'm terrified, Edward," she whispered. "I'm so……excited, but, what if-"_

"_No," I cut her off. Pulling back, I grasped her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes. "Do not do that, Bella. Nothing is going to happen to our baby or to Rosalie. Do you hear me?"_

_Bella stared at me for a long moment, searching my face for any sign that I didn't fully believe the words I spoke. As she seemed to find the answer she was looking for, a smile began to spread across her beautiful face, replacing the look of utter terror that had been there only a moment ago._

_I continued to hold her gaze until she whispered her acquiescence before she pressed her face into my chest once again._

_I felt her arms snake around my waist, her hands curling in the fabric of my T-shirt at my back as she nodded and released a heavy sigh. _

"_Good girl," I said, pressing my lips to the top of her head and mumbling into her hair, "Now, get dressed mommy so we can go meet our son."_

_She pulled back suddenly, looking up into my eyes once again as if the term surprised her; the smile that spread across her face was like the dawning of the morning sun. _

_I smiled and felt my heart slam against my chest at the light that brightened her eyes as she realized that our little boy was about to enter the world. The sweetest little giggle fell from her lips. _

"_You're going to be a daddy," she said, tipping her head back to rest her chin in the center of my chest as she grinned up at me. _

_I blinked as the words washed over my body. _

_It wasn't possible for the smile on my face to get bigger than at that very moment and I nodded, "Yeah….I am." _

_I looked at the love of my life, my wife, and suddenly it dawned on me that we were still standing in our bedroom. _

"_Bella, baby…um, if you don't get dressed, we're going to miss the birth of our son," I said, smiling down at the beautiful woman in my arms. _

"_Oh my God!" Bella jumped out of my arms and streaked across the room, throwing off her pajamas as she made her way to the dresser. _

_Throwing on a pair of yoga pants and a tank top, she flew into the bathroom only to emerge a few moments later with her hair piled on top of her head and a bewildered look on her face._

"_Edward, hurry up. Our baby is waiting, we have to go," she said breathlessly as she slipped on a pair of flip-flops and ran from the room. _

_I laughed, shaking my head as I followed close behind her. _

_Once we arrived at the hospital, we made our way to the labor and delivery unit and were directed to Rosalie's room. _

_Rosalie was hooked up to the fetal monitor, an IV, and, thankfully, an epidural since she was in full blown labor at that point. _

_Emmett was at her side, holding her hand as a contraction gripped her. _

_Bella rushed across the room to Rosalie's opposite side, taking her free hand in hers and whispering in her ear. _

_I made my way to the head of Rosalie's bed and stood back, watching the events play out as Doctor Gonzalez entered the room. _

_Following close behind was Connie, who smiled warmly at me with a wink as she started handing out gowns to everyone in the room and instructing us that if we were going to be standing around, we might as well be ready for the baby. _

_It was then that I realized just how close Rosalie was to delivering my son. My eyes widened as Dr. Gonzalez settled on a stool at the end of the bed and began giving Rosalie gentle instructions on what he needed her to do. _

_Though we had been at the hospital when Abbey was born, I wasn't in the room to witness the birth and I was suddenly overwhelmed with the magnitude of what was happening before me. I closed my eyes briefly as I felt the weight of the event settle across my shoulders and said a silent prayer for Rosalie and my baby. _

_I watched as Emmett and Bella supported Rosalie, speaking quietly to her as she worked through the contractions, pushing when she was told and stopping when asked. _

_The things that Bella and Rosalie endured over the last year were a testament to how strong they each truly were. Up to that moment I only thought I knew just how strong and capable they each were, but as I watched my son being born, any and all previous notions of my understanding were thrown completely out the window. _

_I developed a whole new respect for the sacrifices they each made to bring this child into the world. I was unashamed as I felt the warm tears falling down my cheeks when the cries of my little boy rang out in the room. _

_Rosalie relaxed back against Emmett as he held her, speaking to her in a voice that only she could hear. _

"_Oh, God," Bella said, sucking in a breath as Dr. Gonzalez held up a squirming, screaming infant. _

_I placed my hands on Bella's shoulders and pulled her back into my chest, wrapping my arms around her from behind as her body began to shake in a sob. _

_Dr. Gonzalez quickly laid the baby on Rosalie's abdomen before looking at me. "Would you like to cut the cord, daddy?"_

_My heart seized in my chest at the sight of my son. The realization that I truly was a father hit me full force, square in the chest. _

_I nodded mutely and made my way around Bella. _

_Reaching out with a shaking hand, I took the surgical scissors from a smiling Connie as Dr. Gonzalez placed the clamp around the base of the umbilical cord. _

"_Congratulations, all of you," Dr. Gonzalez said. As soon as I had cut through the cord, he handed off my son to another nurse who wrapped him in a blanket and whisked him over to a separate area to be weighed and cleaned up while he turned back to care for Rosalie. _

_When the nurse brought the baby back to us and placed him in Bella's arms, I literally felt my knees buckle at the sight of my wife holding our child. _

_Bella looked up at me with a brilliant smile on her face as the tears ran unchecked down her cheeks. _

"_Oh God, Edward, he's so beautiful," she whispered. "He's absolutely perfect."_

_I nodded, unable to speak with the emotions raging inside me at the moment. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into my side and staring down at the face of our angel. _

It was the same face I looked at now, a little more full, but still the face of an angel.

"That was one of the happiest days of my life," Bella whispered.

"Yeah… mine, too….outside of the day you finally became mine," I said.

Bella cupped my face in her palm and looked into my eyes. "I've always been yours, Edward."

Though I knew it was true, it didn't stop my breath from hitching in my chest at her declaration.

Bella and I had always belonged to one another. The day she walked down the aisle toward me and promised to always be mine was one of my most precious memories.

BPOV

I laid down with Johnathan to read his favorite book after getting him ready for bed.

Although we had read _The Story of Ferdinand _at least thirty times, he loved it, always giggling when Ferdinand sat on the bee and got stung on the behind.

We must have dozed off while reading, because I awoke sometime later to find Edward sitting in the rocking chair watching us sleep with a peaceful smile on his face.

Even after all the years we had been together, just one look from him could take my breath away. It wasn't just that he was stunningly handsome, because that was a given, but there was something more to his whole demeanor now. It wasn't the years that were starting to make their presence known in the slight lightening of his hair just at the temples; there was a peace Edward carried now which was never there before.

When we were younger, there was always something just under the surface. He was….restless - always searching and never truly at ease.

All that seemed to have changed in the years since we married, becoming even more pronounced after Johnathan was born.

I knew without a doubt that he would move heaven and earth to make sure Johnathan and I had everything we could possibly ever want or need. He had proven just how far he was willing to go during the time we were trying to conceive.

I felt a smile spread across my face as our eyes met.

My smile only widened when Edward joined us on the bed, scooting in behind Johnathan and running a gentle hand over my shoulder down to rest comfortably on my waist.

My eyes fluttered closed as he gently traced a pattern over the skin of my lower back.

Running my fingers absently through my baby's hair, I opened my eyes to met Edward's gaze. I could see he had something on his mind and had thought about whatever it was while he watched us sleep. When I asked him about it, my heart skipped a beat when he told me he was remembering the day Johnathan was born.

It was hard to believe he was already three years old.

There were very few days in my life that I could say I was as happy as the day my little boy graced us with his beautiful presence.

The battle to get Johnathan here wasn't an easy one, but thank God for Rosalie and the fact that she was as tenacious as a pit-bull and doggedly refused to give up, especially when I was on the verge of throwing in the towel. She pulled me out of my pity party and steeled my resolve with her determination to help us.

"That was one of the happiest days of my life," I said, my voice barely a whisper, not wanting to wake Johnathan.

"Yeah… mine, too….outside of the day you finally became mine," Edward murmured, his eyes burning with their intensity.

My heart stuttered in my chest at his words and I reached out to caress his cheek, reminding him that I was always his. There was absolutely nowhere else I ever wanted to be.

"I had never seen anything so beautiful in my life as when I saw you walking toward me that day," he said, closing his eyes briefly as if he were reliving the moment.

"Well, I have to tell you, you looked pretty handsome yourself," I said, smiling as he shifted to lean over Johnathan once more and pressing his lips to mine.

"Yeah, whatever," he snorted. "That suit was hot as he-" I quirked an eyebrow at him and he stopped the curse word that was about to come out of his mouth and smirked at me. "You know what I meant."

I covered my mouth, trying not to laugh out loud.

We had recently had a discussion about our language around Johnathan, not that either of us cursed that much. I just had no desire for my child's vocabulary to be that of a miniature sailor, so we made a deal to be as careful as possible and for each slip we put a dollar in a jar.

It irked Edward to no end that the large majority of the money in the half filled jar at the present moment was from him.

"And you made sure everybody knew you weren't happy about wearing it," I teased.

He rolled his eyes but smiled despite himself.

The images from Edward's proposal and our wedding a few months later were as vivid in my memory as they were the day they happened.

After returning from Italy, we made the official engagement announcement to the family. It seemed I was the only one who wasn't aware Edward planned on proposing while we were on vacation.

Edward had said numerous times over the months after he came home to me and we reunited that he was going ask me to marry him. I knew eventually he would get around to it, but when he did…..it simply stunned me with its intensity and beauty.

The sweetness of his words as we stood on what felt like the top of the world, surrounded by the majesty of the Dolomite Mountains, at the banks of that lake, were more than I could have even possibly dreamed of receiving. His promises and acknowledgements melted me to the core. He laid his heart bare and, as if he didn't already own every part of me, my very soul called out to his as he looked up at me from bended knee. There was no way I could have ever given him any answer except _yes. _

I snickered quietly and Edward looked at me, quirking an eyebrow questioningly.

I shook my head, trying to choke back the giggles. "I was just thinking about how mad Alice was that I refused to have some huge soiree for our wedding."

Edward closed his eyes and groaned, but my favorite crooked grin was fully on his face.

"Oh lord, I don't think I've ever seen her turn that particular shade of red," he chuckled.

I shook my head as I thought about the fight Alice and I had over that very subject, especially when I found out she had already begun planning everything while we were in Italy.

I loved the little squirt, but there were times when she put the cart before a whole herd of horses.

Having already done the big traditional wedding when Tyler and I got married, I had no desire to do that again, though the type of ceremony had nothing to do with how wrong everything about that marriage was.

I wanted to keep things small and very simple, nothing more than our closest friends and family in attendance. Most importantly I wanted it to be held at our home.

There was nowhere I wanted to be joined with Edward forever more than in our backyard under the big oak tree.

The shade of that tree was one of the very few places I had found peace and solace when my first marriage was in shambles. It was where I had gone to pray or just empty my mind after I lost Carlie. It was also the place where Edward came to me when I was falling apart after finding out Rosalie was pregnant with Abbey.

It was the one place which had been a constant when I felt like my life was spinning out of control. I wanted to hold the ceremony in that spot… for it to be where Edward and I finally became one.

Edward and I knew we didn't want a long engagement. Honestly, if it had been possible, and if our families wouldn't have killed us for doing so, I would have dragged him to the nearest official we could find and married him right there in Cortina the day he proposed.

After a very heated discussion and consulting calendars, including the ranch foaling schedule, we set the date of our wedding for mid April. This somewhat appeased Alice and also ensured the foaling season would be finished. Most of the foals were to be born by late March, so the April date gave us a few extra weeks just in case.

We had gone a tiny bit traditional in that Edward and I did not spend our last night before the wedding together. He stayed with his parents that night, which I remembered thinking it wasn't such a great idea when I woke up all alone that morning.

_The day of the ceremony dawned a beautiful spring morning. The pinks and purples began to light up the horizon as I rolled over to check the clock at our bedside. _

"_Why exactly did I agree to send Edward to his parent's house last night," I groaned, rubbing the sleep from my eyes._

"_Because you wanted to give the allusion of tradition." A small voice rang out from behind me and I turned my head to see Alice's smiling face beaming back at me._

"_Good morning, Alice," I said, returning her smile. _

"_Good morning, Bella," she said. "So how are you feeling this morning?"_

"_Mmmm," I sighed, stretching my arms high above my head and feeling the bones crack in my spine. "I just wish it were already over with. I've waited for this day for a long time." _

"_I know you have, Bella." Her smile never faltered, but a sad look flashed behind her eyes as she nodded before launching into full on organizer mode. "Okay, so we have an appointment at seven forty-five for hair and makeup, which should put us back here by nine-thirty. The photographer will be here at ten to begin doing the boys' pictures. He's not going to do your pictures until after the ceremony, but we need to get our butts in gear and get out of here." _

_We were both showered and heading out the door to meet Rosalie at the salon forty minutes later with coffee and pastries in hand, courtesy of my dear sweet fiancé who had gotten up early to go to the bakery and then had his mother bring them over to us. _

_I called Edward as I settled into the passenger seat of Alice's Porsche Cayenne._

"_Good morning, darlin', did you sleep well?" I felt the familiar tug in my chest as Edward's voice, smooth as silk, slid over the line. _

"_Good morning to you, and yes I did, but I would have slept better had you been with me," I sighed, a smile spreading over my face. _

"_Mmm, well had I been there, you wouldn't have been sleeping," he growled. _

_I heard a deep, throaty chuckle when I whimpered at his words and I shot a look at Alice in the driver's seat as she raised an eyebrow. _

"_I suppose that's the reason for the whole not spending the night before our wedding together, huh?" he teased. _

"_Yeah, I guess so," I giggled. "Edward, thank you for the pastries, they're wonderful. Alice and I are scarfing them down as we speak." _

"_You're welcome, sweetheart. You guys on the way to the salon?" he asked._

"_Mmhmm," I hummed around a huge bite of cheese danish. "We have to be there by seven-forty-five, I guess so they can work their magic and make me beautiful for you later this morning."_

"_Mmm, well they don't have to do a thing, baby, you're perfect. I love how you look when I wake in the morning with my kisses to your back and my hands on your body, your skin gets all flushed with the most beautiful shade of pink and your hair is all crazy. You have that sexy sleepy smile on your face. Those people can't improve on perfection, darlin'."_

"_Ungg…Edward, you need to stop that," I whispered into the phone, gaining another deep, sexy chuckle from him. _

"_Alright, baby, I'll see you in a few hours," he said, releasing a heavy sigh. _

"_Yeah, I'll see you at eleven, back yard, under the big oak tree. You'll know which one is me; I'll have the flowers and the dress."_

_Edward chuckled, "I'm pretty sure I'll be able to pick you out. I'll be the one in the god awful hot ass suit down front waiting for you."_

_I laughed as, once again, Edward didn't let an opportunity go by to let it be known how much he really didn't want to wear the particular suit that had been picked out for him. _

"_I love you," I said on a laugh. _

"_Love you, too, baby," he said before we said our good-byes and hung up._

_The next few hours were a whirlwind of activity. By the time we returned to my house, it was like a completely different place than the one we had left just hours before. The entire area had been transformed into a page out of my most vivid fantasy of what I wanted for our wedding. _

_My mother and Esme were on site doling out instructions like General's leading their troops into battle. It really was amazing to watch those two pull everything together; even for a simple ceremony there was quite a bit to be accomplished. _

_I should have known everything would be exactly as I dreamed, but what I wasn't expecting was for it to be better than anything I could have hoped for. _

_Elegant white chairs with a wide aisle in the middle were set up in a semi-circle facing the big oak tree. Off to the side of the house were several long tables with white linens, a champagne colored silk runner laid along the center. The solid wood chairs were straight back and mismatched, lending a whimsical eclectic feel to the scene. _

_There were beautiful crystal vases filled with red Gerbera Daisies set at equal intervals along the length of the table, with small tea light candles circling the centerpieces. The place settings were white china, silver, and crystal. _

_So, okay, there were a few areas that I agreed for there to be a bit more frills… and honestly, I couldn't have been more pleased with that decision. _

_I slipped into my dress, a very simple off-white silk chemise, and smiled as I stepped in front of the full length mirror in my room._

_My hair hung down my back in large curls, and since I wouldn't be wearing any type of veil, one small section of bangs was pulled back with a crystal hair pin. The make-up artist had gone light with most everything, really only making my skin tone even out and hiding the freckles across my nose. _

"_Oh, goodness." I heard my mother's wispy voice and saw her reflection in the mirror as she stepped behind me, her hand over her mouth and tears shining in her eyes. _

"_Baby girl, you are truly a vision," she said, placing her hands on the top of both my arms. _

_A wide smile split my face as our eyes met in the mirror. _

"_Dear lord, child, that man is going to pass out cold when he sees you looking like this," she laughed. _

_The tears were burning behind my eyes and I fought to hold them back as my mother looked at me with so much love shining in her eyes. _

"_Bella, I am so happy for you. Edward has always been your destiny, and I can't tell you what it does for my heart that the two of you have finally made it to this day."_

"_Oh, momma," I said, turning to wrap her in a tight embrace._

"_None of that, baby girl, you'll ruin your makeup," she said, pulling back and dabbing at my eyes with a lace handkerchief, a watery smile on her face. _

_Rosalie and Alice entered the room just then with similar looks on their faces. _

"_So, you ready to do this thing?" Rosalie asked, a wicked smile on her face. _

_There were many reasons I loved my sister-in-law, the fact that she could put everything into perspective with just a look was one of them. _

_I nodded and took my bouquet of white Gerbera Daisies from Alice before following the rest of them out of our room. _

_Stepping out the back door, I looked at my father, who waited on the last step to walk me down the aisle. I couldn't really say what happened over the next several seconds as everything blurred into one big hum once I took my father's arm. _

_As we reached the aisle that led to where Edward was waiting for me, I looked up and felt the breath catch in my chest. I had never seen Edward look more handsome - a bright white shirt and champagne colored tie stood out in stark contrast to the black three-piece suit. _

_I had to continue to remind myself to breathe as my father led me closer and closer to where Edward stood. It was as if all my senses were cut off suddenly, except for the tunnel vision I seemed to be suffering from. I could see no one else but Edward. _

_I could not hear the music which I knew was beautiful because Edward and I searched through more music than I knew existed looking for the perfect songs. There truly was nothing else in my world at that moment outside of the man standing before me. _

_My heart seized in my chest as my father kissed my cheek and placed my hand in Edward's. _

_Edward squeezed my hand and I could feel his shaking slightly as I stepped closer to him and the reverend began the ceremony we had chosen. _

_I didn't hear another thing until he got to the part about us writing our own vows to one another. I felt my heart slam against my ribs as I thought about all I wanted to say and knowing I would never get through it without losing my composure completely._

"_Edward Anthony, you have the vows you prepared?" Reverend Samples asked, looking to Edward for confirmation. _

"_Yes, sir," Edward said without breaking eye contact with me._

"_You can go ahead then, son," Reverend Samples chuckled lightly._

_Edward cleared his throat and squeezed my hands a little tighter as he began to speak. _

"_Isabella Marie Swan, there are so many things that I want to share with you, so many things that I want to tell you, and there are not enough hours in a day to do all those things. Every day I find myself loving you more than the previous one. I know that there will be times in our future where you'll want to pull your hair out because of something I've done, rightly so because I have no doubt I'll drive you nuts at some point," he chuckled and there was a collective rumble of quiet laughter from our guests. _

"_But I swear to always do my very best to make you as happy as you make me. Bella, you are my best friend, my most trusted confidant, my lover, and everything good in my life," he paused, taking a deep breath. I could see the tears brimming in his eyes as I fought to hold onto a small amount of decorum, but I was losing the battle quickly. "From this day forward, I take you as my wife and I promise to hold you in my arms until I take my last breath. I thank you for bringing the light back into my life. I love you." _

"_I love you, too," I whispered around the tightening of my throat as the tears spilled over my lower lid. _

_Edward released my hands to reach up and wipe the tears from my face as he smiled brilliantly at me. _

"_Isabella Marie, have you prepared vows to share with Edward Anthony?" Reverend Samples asked, smiling as I turned to look at him briefly and nodding. _

_I took Edward's hands once again and looked back into his eyes, taking a deep breath as I tried to recall the vows I had spent the last couple of weeks perfecting. _

"_Edward Anthony Cullen," my voice broke and I paused, closing my eyes for a brief moment before beginning again. "You have been my every dream, my every wish, my every fantasy since I was a young girl. To find myself standing here with you today seems so surreal that I feel I need to pinch myself to make sure I'm actually awake and not dreaming, but if it were a dream, I wouldn't want to wake. Every day I thank God that you are in my life, that you came home to me. I thank him for the love that I feel for you, but also the love I feel returned from you. I think that when two people get married, they think that they have found their 'happily ever after', but I think you and I know as well as anyone that kind of future doesn't come with wishing and beautiful words. It comes from being together through the rough times just as strongly as through the easy times. It comes from trust and knowing that no matter what, the other person will be there if you fall, reminding you it's okay and then helping you to find your footing once again. Edward, from this day on, you will be my husband, but you have always been my best friend, my soul mate, my future, and you've made me believe in our 'happily ever after'. I love you."_

_Edward sucked in a deep breath as he tried to swallow the sob that shook his shoulders as a few tears rolled down his face. _

_The tears had flowed freely from my eyes as I poured my heart out to him, laying out everything I could to express how much I truly loved the man before me. _

_Edward held onto my hands tightly as Reverend Samples continued with the ceremony and we exchanged rings. A smile lit Edward's face as the reverend gave him permission to finally kiss me for the first time as his wife. _

_He tenderly framed my face with his hands, tilting my head toward his and staring into my eyes for a long moment before slowly bending to lightly brush his lips with mine. Whispering his love for me once again, he crushed his mouth to mine in a blinding kiss as his fingers threaded into my hair, holding me tighter to him as I wrapped my arms around his neck. _

_When we broke apart, our family and friends were on their feet clapping. I'm pretty sure there were a few wolf whistles as we made our way back down the aisle, arm in arm. _

"Wake up, baby," Edward said, my eyes fluttering open as I looked up to see him smiling down at me, offering his hand.

"Did I fall asleep again?" I asked, blinking and yawning widely, stretching my arms over my head.

"Yeah, you did," he chuckled.

I placed my hand in his and allowed him to help me off the bed, then turned and bent quickly to press a kiss to Johnathan's cheek before bringing the blanket to tuck around his tiny body.

Turning back toward Edward, he wrapped his arms around my waist pulled me into him. I ran my hands up over his chest, linking my fingers behind his neck to play with the hair at his nape.

Standing on tip-toe, I pressed my lips to his in a slow kiss.

"I love you so much, Edward," I whispered, my lips brushing his as I spoke.

Edward's arms tightened around me as he looked into my eyes. "I love you more today than I did the day you married me. I didn't think that was even possible, but it's true."

We stood holding one another for a long moment before Edward pulled away to take my hand. As he led the way out of Johnathan's room and across the hall to our bedroom, it struck me that I would follow this man to the ends of the world and beyond, and I couldn't be happier about that prospect.

The End

* * *

**A/N: Wow, typing 'The End' brought a tear to my eye. I really need to say thank you to all of you who have completed this journey with me. You all have made this story such a joy with your support and love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. **

**Okay so a little business before I wrap this puppy up completely. There is an outtake that will be posting soon. It is a Seth and Angela outtake that I wrote for Jessica1971. She has requested this outtake since early on in MMB. Even before I knew that Seth would meet someone, she wanted him to have his HEA, so he got it and the outtake is a piece of their beginning. **

**The 2nd bit of business is about a story that I will begin posting soon for Cystic Fibrosis awareness month which is actually going on during the month of May. For those of you who don't know my daughter has cystic fibrosis. During the process of writing MMB those of you who have been with me from the beginning know there were times when I was off the grid for a time, my daughter's health issues were the reason. So to try to help raise awareness for Cystic Fibrosis I am writing a short multi-chapter story. I hope you will all check it out and hopefully learn a little about the 30,000 children and adults living with Cystic Fibrosis in the United States. **

**I have to send a thank you to Stavenger1 who encouraged me in the beginning to pursue the flicker of an idea that was bouncing around in my head. That little flicker turned out to be MMB and without Stav's encouragement I might not have had the courage to put myself out there. So thank you for helping me to see that I could do something with the words bouncing in my head. **

**One final note before I finish this story. To Jessica1971 for supporting me, holding my hand and kicking my arse when I needed it to keep this story on the straight and narrow, thank you. Like I've said before there are not words to express how much your love and support have meant to me. You have absolutely been my own personal Master Yoda. **

**Until next time....**

**xoxoxoxoxo**

**BUS  
**


End file.
